Chapter 12…

"Ben! Alice!" Tulio called as he and Miguel walked through the forest.

"Ariel!" Miguel called. Tulio shot him a look, so he quickly added, "And the other guys! Where are you?"

"Smooth." Miguel said, flatly.

Just their luck, the panicking crowd had pushed them right out of town. Far away from their truck, they had to search for them on foot. They knew Ben had a plan, but over the din of shouts and screams, the two missed it.

After asking the townsfolk (a decision Tulio thoroughly regretted because of how insane they were) and they did see Ben and Alice across town, eventually leading them to the forest. And that was where they spent their whole night looking around for them, leaving the two con-men dirty, exhausted, and their clothes thoroughly tattered.

"No favor's this much trouble." Tulio muttered, "Should've left them back in Springfield and we'd probably be in Colombia by now."

"Oh, come on, it's not THAT bad. The kids are nice and the monsters are actually pretty good." Miguel said.

"You mean the mermaid?" Tulio asked, annoyed.

"Well…yeah, but Legoshi, Alf, and Fran are fun, too." Miguel shrugged, "And you like them, too. Just admit it."

Tulio was about to retort when they came into a clearing and found a large building with a sign that read, "Joker's House of Hilarious Horrors". Right next to it was a small tent.

"Think they went here?" Miguel asked.

"Well, one way to find out." Tulio murmured.

Inside the tent, the now human-again Ben and Alice snoozed, cuddled together for warmth. Alice yawned as she sat up. She looked over and saw Ben, still fast asleep. After taking a moment to dust her dress and wonder what happened last night (everything after Joker unfurled their contract was a blur to her), she smiled at Ben and lightly brushed some of his hair with her fingertips.

Ben sprung up with a start as he looked around, thoroughly confused. Alice couldn't help but giggle at his response. Hearing Alice made Ben immediately calm down and smile in relief, though.

"Good morning, Ben." Alice beamed.

"Morning." Ben nodded.

"Hey, is that-?"

"Who else COULD it be?"

The two looked to the front flap of a tent as someone from the outside unzipped it. It was Miguel and Tulio!

"Ben! Alice!" Miguel exclaimed, rushing over and hugging the two, "We looked all day for you! We thought something terrible happened!"

"We did, actually." Tulio said, sternly, "Where did you two wander off to? Be happy I just wanted a clear conscience! Leaving two children alone in the middle of a dangerous forest. Do you have ANY idea what Miguel and I went through?"

"I said 'meet in the woods outside the Mystery Shack'." Ben murmured.

"Yes…well…that's beside the point!" Tulio snapped.

"Ah, so nice to hear a parent concerned for their little kids." Said a voice the two kids recognized.

"Hey, it's the clown lady!" Alice said.

"Ah, ya recognize me! I'm so glad!" said Harley as she walked into the tent with a platter that had a steaming pillar of pancakes, "Made ya breakfast! Pancakes sound good?"

"Yes, please!" Alice said.

"Sounds good, yeah!" Ben nodded as Harley placed the platter in front of them.

"Wait, I recognize you." Tulio said.

"Were you ever in Las Vegas?" Miguel asked, "Because we weren't. Not allowed there. Court order. Long story."

"No, no, no…you're that crazy lady who pals around with that lunatic!" Tulio shouted.

"Oh wow…didn't know I had more fans!" Harley exclaimed, grabbing Tulio's hand, "So, which caper was your favorite? I'm a fan o' the one where me 'n Red teamed up ta—"

"Nah, they're with us." Ben said, taking a bite, "Good timing, though. They were reading us the riot act."

"HE was reading you the riot act." Miguel said, sitting down next to the two and partaking in breakfast, too.

"So, what? The two dads situation?" Harley said.

"I have a girlfriend! She's in Colombia!" Tulio shouted.

"Look, buddy, no one's judgin'." Harley said, "Between us? I bat for both teams, myself."

"Not in front of the kids!" Tulio shouted.

"They were helping us get here, that's all." Ben said.

"Besides, I can confirm he DOES have a girlfriend in South America." Miguel nodded through a mouthful of food.

"Uh-huh. Sure." Harley said, skeptically as she sat down. She then leaned in close to Alice and Ben, "So, you think I'm funny?"

"Yeah, we did!" Ben nodded.

"Most definitely." Alice said.

"I can never make my Mistah J laugh." Harley said, "B-but he says that if I can do somethin' that makes 'im laugh, he'll use in a show! I just…ain't been able to pull it off yet…"

Tulio wound his finger next to his ear while giving Ben a look that said "See what I mean?". Ben, though, had a different reaction.

"What's your name?" Ben asked.

"Harley Quinn! Formerly Dr. Harlene Quinzel of the Arkham Mental Asylum!" Harley said, shaking Ben's hand, "Nice to meetcha!"

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Dr. Quinzel." Alice said, "I'm Alice Kingsley."

"And I'm Miguel!" Miguel said, getting to his feet.

"And I'm Tulio." Tulio said, significantly less-enthused than his partner.

"But together, we are Miguel and Tulio!" Miguel said, striking a pose.

"Yeah, sure." Harley said before leaning in to Ben and Alice, "So! You laughed at my bit last night. You thought that was funny, right? That it was okay?"

"Think we've just been ignored." Miguel murmured.

"Yeah, of course it was funny." Ben nodded.

"Too bad puddin' didn't think so…" Harley said, dejectedly.

"You don't get it, do ya? That clown's crazy." Ben said.

"Well, not really. Just kinda…misunderstood…" Harley murmured before saying, "Sorry, but Mistah J said that, after ya had your breakfast, ya gotta get outta here."

"What about our contract?" Alice asked as Harley took the plate and set it to the side.

"Tore it up." Harley replied.

"That was fortunate." Alice said, relieved.

"And questionable from a legal standpoint. You ARE minors, you know." Tulio said.

"What about our friends?" Ben asked, standing up.

"Uh…your, uh…who?" Harley asked, nervously as she began making a bee-line for the flap.

"You know, the monsters?" Alice said as the four followed after her.

"I was wondering that, too. Where's Ariel, the wolfman, the bride, and the alien?" Miguel asked.

"Probably best ya forget about 'em. Trust me." Harley said.

"What? No way we're doing that." Ben said, "Where are they?"

Harley looked around and had an…unnervingly worried expression on her face, "Look, kid, I like ya. And your blonde girlfriend there. So, take this pro-tip—forget about 'em and get as far away from here as possible. Trust me, you'll figure out WHY…"

"Hey, he asked where the four are. So, you're going to TELL them." Tulio said, harshly as he took a step toward Harley.

"Besides, if they're stuck here…might help if the kids say good-bye first, right?" Miguel asked in a much more friendly voice.

"That's…uh, gonna be trouble." Harley said, weakly.

"Harley. Where are they?" Ben asked.

Harley looked at Ben and then at Alice, who gave her the most pleading look she could muster. The clown woman sighed before saying, "Okay…I'll take ya to 'em…but you won't like it."

As Harley walked away, Ben had a bad feeling about what was going to happen. He looked at Alice, then to the two adults before following after her. His three companions joined shortly after.

Harley led them into the haunted house. It was still quite empty and she looked, nervously, around to see if Joker was there. After finding him absent, she led them into the basement.

"Bud? Lou?" she called. With an eerie laugh, two hyenas trotted up, "Ah! There's my babies! Did ya miss mommy? Ooh, betcha did! Yes, you did…"

Ben looked around. It was dank, nearly empty, and with several cracks, scorch marks, and scratches in the walls. He wondered what could have made it…

His answer came immediately. His jaw fell open as Miguel and Tulio recoiled in fright.

They saw their friends, chained and thrashing about. But there was something about them and the way they moved and roared that showed they were…not the people they knew in their travels. They were true monsters.

"Ariel? Do…you know who I am?" Miguel asked the creature in the tank. An inhuman figure snapped rows of needle-like teeth at him as tendrils lashed around. Miguel recoiled and asked, "Was that a 'yes'?"

"I…don't think she knows you, Miguel." Tulio said, putting a hand on his partner's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"Wh-what's happened to them?" Alice asked in shock.

"Mistah J gave 'em somethin' that sent 'em off the deep end." Harley said, ashamed. Ben watched as Legoshi's claws raked the wall, leaving the claw-marks he saw earlier. And the crimson eyes weren't that of the wolfman he came to know, "That's why he tore up your contract…they struck a deal and signed themselves on."

"They're this way…because of me?" Ben asked.

"Guess so…" Harley nodded, "He's featurin' them in the show tonight…so they'll be in show biz. Until…"

"Until what?" Tulio asked.

"Until, uh…" Harley said. She gulped, "I looked at Mistah J's plans. He's gonna have 'em go hogwild on the audience. Says if Bonesy wants to introduce monsters to the world, it'll be the RIGHT way…"

"What?" Miguel asked, looking shocked.

"That's why ya gotta get away as quickly as possible. Like to Colombia with ponytail's made-up girlfriend." Harley said.

"No!" Ben said, turning around, "Harley! Ya gotta get us in the show!"

"I…I can't. No, sorry." Harley said, making to walk away.

"Quinn! They did this FOR THEM." Tulio said, cutting off Harley's path, "But now, that psycho's gonna use them to hurt people. INNOCENT people!"

"But Mistah J—"

"That guy's CRAZY, Harley!" Ben shouted, walking up to her, "What're you so protective about?! He's never gonna laugh at you! And whatever you feel for him? It's a one-way street!"

Harley looked at the two, then to Alice. She screwed her eyes shut, "Okay…alright. I'll…I'll help. But not 'cuz you said so…it's for you, kiddo. And her…'cuz ya laughed."

With a shaky breath, Harley turned to the stairs, "Now…now c'mon. Ya gotta look the part if ya wanna be in puddin's show."