09-24-2020
Blue of the Darkest Shade was voted #3 on the Top Five FSOG Stories for September 2020. EEEEE! Thank you to everyone who voted. I LOVE YOU.
Fair warning, this chapter is very wordy and is mostly Ana's inner monologue till we get to the end. I wanted to flesh out all the deails in this so I could move on to the other fun stuff in the future chapters.
Chapter 1 has all the relationships and defintions listed out for a refresher. If you are here from DTL, a lof stuff may be repeated towards the end, but it's fashioned differently thanks to the timeline. I hope it's not all that boring.
If you are criminal lawyer, please do not kill me. I did the best I could in research. If anything, i'd LOVE to hear from you private for tips so I can make any correctons.
Who's ready for the first phase of the autopsy?
Chapter song: Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple.
Chapter Eleven - I've got my own hell to raise
Tuesday, August 25th, 2015
APOV
When we got back to San Francisco on Sunday evening, I found myself reeling from a myriad of emotions. I couldn't quite pinpoint it but one thing was for certain, I felt disappointment. What a weekend? I was supposed to be celebrating my next, brave step into adulthood. I was going to make something of myself, albeit small and insignificant compared to what my adoptive family had achieved but still, I was going to do justice to my father's name and be my own person.
Then slowly, it came crashing down. The cousin who I saw as the older brother for the last nine years turned to be a conniving, predatory and deceitful sack of shit. My savior turned out to be, well, I'm not entirely sure. I know there's something sinister there too. Would he hurt me? I suppose it doesn't really matter. I mean, our lives are so different. Sure, he's at the helm of his empire and I'm, empire adjacent. I'm merely a visitor in this world of billionaires, my real place is out there, among the common folk and it's something I'm actually quite proud of.
I knew the Karim and Kapadia clan were successful from a young age but the real understanding of their wealth and influence only came with time. My life with dad and anecdotal advice from Nani taught me that the real currency was pure intention followed by action. Money was merely a medium. On its own, it had no real merit and that this construct was psychological. If you are a good person, you will do good things with money but if you have even a hint of evil in you… then you can use money to further and grow that to foster sinister motives. Simply put, money gives you a false sense of security and power. This was true for those who feared true emotional connection and reliability in the people around them.
Or maybe the reason why they had the fear was because they were let down before?
But what was Vishaal's excuse?
I've barely slept since Saturday night and it's starting to wear me down. I was taken to SF Memorial, examined, photographed and prescribed some top notch pain medication which has been my saving grace. Still, sleep eludes me. I get an hour or two at best then I'm wide awake so I listen to music. Just like in recovery, which I technically still am.
Benny had a new phone waiting for me when we boarded the jet since he knew my old one would be needed for evidence most probably. When it came to sleeping arrangements Mama wanted me to move into her bedroom. She has a small skylight that keeps me company at night, just like my old room in Montesano. Besides, I don't think I want to sleep alone at this point.
Between thoughts and panicky realizations of Vishaal, Christian has been another fixture in my mind. His grey eyes are all I see when I close my eyes sometimes. It's the feeling that they write songs, literature and poetry about, I suppose. I try my best to quickly dismiss it because it surely is transference of some kind.
We had a few meaningful conversations and equally fierce confrontations, one affectionate exchange that was innocent enough, yet I find that enigma of a man completely consuming my mind.
Am I avoiding the shitshow in my life by thinking of him?
I'm laying in Nita's bed which is now my shared bed for the foreseeable future. So far, with the exception of Priya, Ahad and Aashu, everyone knows the reality of what happened but no one is allowed to come see me. Vishaal has been apparently freaking out but Nana has given his final decree on the matter. I've gotten calls and text messages from those who know the truth, none of which I have replied to.
I will not lie that I find myself wanting to talk to Karan. Still, he's part of KGI and he's about to get fucked over and I can't in good conscious talk to him knowing the legal notice his dad and uncle are about to receive this week.
As for Vishaal and Kiran, I'm conflicted about the idea of seeing them. What would confronting Vishaal achieve? He'll try to talk us all out of it. How could he even try and deny what he did?
No.
I want his ass, rotting in jail.
Earlier this morning, one the lawyers Carrick suggested came to see us where I told him everything that happened.
Once I move forward with pressing charges, he will be arrested for sexual battery and assault for intent to commit rape. The only issue was the submission of the CCTV footage since it had been illegally obtained but then again, my name was on the deed of the club with Vishaal so technically, I did own the place even though we plan to have that fact rendered moot since I was barely conscious when the company for formed and therefore unable to sign off or give my consent. In addition, we will be asked how the footage was obtained. As it is, it's enough for AHAK to break ties with KGI eventually but for the court of law, it's tricky.
We would have to explain how we got the footage, which would expose Christian and based on that the Judge, regardless of how Vishaal pleads, could very well declare it inadmissible.
Similarly, if Vishaal opted to plead not guilty and this went to trial, opposing counsel could question me about where I was until Sunday afternoon. Why didn't I report the crime shortly after it happened? Why was my blood report showing a lab in Seattle? All of that would have to make me expose Christian and I couldn't do that to him.
He may have saved my life but it's now looking like he did me no favors. I mean he did, he literally saved me from getting raped but… taking me to Seattle further complicated things.
Still, should we go to trial, the jurors could be questioned in the selection process till the final count could be molded to ultimately fit our verdict. For the most part.
On the other hand, Vishaal could be pressured to plead guilty, which would be ideal. In the end, the decision to press charges would ultimately be mine.
As it is, the preliminary look into AHAK's financials was showing signs of embezzlement. A little pressure from Mr. Benoit had the CFO singing like a canary.
The idea is to go to the station later this evening and simultaneously send out notice to KGI and ice out the Kapadia siblings. For that however, Rania had to be brought into the loop since she worked closely with the head of legal at AHAK.
She was already calling incessantly, demanding to know how I was. Truth is, I actually did want to see her, so I told Nana that I wouldn't mind if she came by this afternoon.
I heard a knock on the door that broke my concentration from the racing thoughts I'd gotten carried away with.
"Aana." I heard a voice calling out from the door to my room. Rania.
Her face was serious but I could see tears in her eyes. She wasn't one to show emotion, not in the form of tears anyway. She was either all work with blinders on or her silly self with us. Crying wasn't her thing, not in front of people anyway.
I smiled and silently gestured to her to sit next to me. As soon as she took her seat in front of me on the bed she pulled me into a hug and began to sob.
"I'm so sorry, Aana. I'm so fucking sorry."
"Hey it's okay." My voice had grown thick and it was a little painful to speak but I wasn't going to cry. I was too tired. "It's not your fault. This is all his fault." Thankfully, my back wasn't hurting so much, so I could actually appreciate the hug.
She pulled away and wiped her tears. "No, I should've pushed harder to drop you off. I swear, Raees and I left the club 20 minutes later."
"I wanted to go with him, remember? It's not your fault."
"I'm going to murder the son of a bitch."
"If you're in jail then who will be my lawyer?" I teased and she chuckled, wiping her tears.
"Thank you for believing me." I began. "I didn't want—"
"Don't even say another fucking word. Why the HELL wouldn't we believe you? Seriously, think about it? What possible reason?"
I looked down at my knotted hands and whispered. "Blood."
"People kill their own families and shit. Blood is an archaic concept." She said firmly and I nodded. "So tell me, what happened? Nana and Benny said, it was your story to tell."
I lay down on the bed. She joined me and I began story time.
Rania listened intently and when I told her everything, minus the Elena Lincoln situation, she let out a breath and remained silent for a few more moments.
"Christian motherfucking Grey? Holy hell, Aana. He's hot and he saved you. Rumor is he's gay but... damn. Now we know." She turned to give me a wink.
I snorted. "I'm glad you've got your priorities in check."
She waved her hand dismissively in response. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know." I replied giggling. "He is, as you say, hot but with an attitude problem. I totally let him have it."
"As you should've. These men think they rule the fucking world."
"He was also really sweet at times. He kissed my hand." I found myself getting shy as I told her.
"WHICH HAND?" She sat up and I showed her which one. "YOU BETTER NOT HAVE WASHED IT."
I laughed out loud. It was the first time I had since Seattle.
"I know it sucks that it had to happen this way but I'm glad you got to flirt with a hot boy... or should I say hot boys." She clapped her hands in delight.
"Yeah, it was nice talking to people outside of the family and my doctors." I mumbled.
"You should send him your famous cookies." She grinned.
I rolled my eyes but then continued to mumble nervously. "I don't want him to think... you know, that I'm trying to—"
"It's just a nice gesture, calm down. Even if it's not a romantic connection, it's still good to know him. It might help professionally." She shrugged but I knew that isn't what she meant.
I wanted so desperately to discuss with her about the Elena stuff but I had to keep it to myself right now. There was a lot that Benny and I had to discuss regarding the autopsy I wanted him to perform.
"Anyway, let's go and snatch some billions and put that fucking piece of shit in jail." A devilish smile formed on her lips. If there's one thing that Rania loved, it was a hostile takeover.
Friday, August 28th, 2015
On Tuesday evening, I walked into the police station with Nana, Mama, Rania, our lawyers and the AHAK CFO, David Forsythe to give my statement and press charges along with Nana for the embezzlement. Nana decided not to press charges against David but Benny promised him a world of pain if he fucked up again like this in life. He was let go without a reference and any severance package.
Vishaal and Uncle Rish were taken into custody on Wednesday morning with Vishaal's arraignment hearing this morning for his two separate criminal charges. The assault and embezzlement.
He pleaded guilty on both. Though, our lawyers pointed out that the risk of going to trial and being found guilty would've meant a longer sentence for him. This way, he could probably aim for a reduced sentence given that he had no priors.
Unce Rish also pleaded guilty to the embezzlement in hopes for a reduced sentence.
At this point, they had both embezzled close to $75 million dollars in the last three years.
The assholes also made bail. $1 million each was, chump change for the Kapadia family. Thankfully, our lawyers argued that they were a flight risk as well.
Notice had been served to the KGI shareholders and shit was hitting the fan for them. Even if the assault was something they didn't give a shit about, the evidence for embezzlement was irrefutable.
Uncle Arsh called Nana, apologizing profusely. He didn't seek to make excuses for his brother and nephew but completely understood the steps that needed to be taken for AHAK to break from them.
Nana had nothing against Uncle Arsh. In fact he liked him and Karan a lot. They had a similar work ethic and moral compass. Nana was the reason why KGI ultimately did so well in the early years after Uncle Rish had made some bad investments. When time came for Uncle Rish and Alia to get married, Nana saw it as the perfect opportunity to ensure the longevity of his daughter's marriage and keep an eye on him. Once Uncle Rish moved over to become COO for AHAK, Uncle Arsh as CEO of KGI was able to do very well and surpass AHAK's net worth. After all he didn't have Rish's incessant nagging and loose cannon persona costing him deals. It was a better deal since, under Nana, Uncle Rish was relatively tamed.
Ultimately, not tame enough.
However, with time his resolve softened and he began to trust Rish, and his love for Vishaal and Kiran, with the idea of taking them into the company into the next decade, seemed a romantic one. While Kiran was not directly involved with what was happening with the embezzlement, she still could not be trusted.
Alia Khala and Kiran lost their minds when Nana, Nani and Nita met with them at the Fairmont for a family meeting on Wednesday after the arrests. I was apparently called all the names in the book. Even after they were shown the CCTV footage, they maintained that I must have tricked him into doing this.
Kiran called me incessantly but I ignored each and every one.
Did I want to talk to her? Of course I did but I couldn't trust her. Then when everyone came home and told me how she acted, well, it was obvious that I made the right choice. Still, it was heartbreaking. The older brother and sister I longed for and looked up to, cast me aside so easily. They chose blood over my innocence. Over doing the right thing.
This morning after his arraignment, Vshaal showed up to the Presidio Terrace house demanding to talk to me but Benny politely told him to get lost before he shot him in the head. Like, Kiran he keeps calling and texting me. I picked up his call after Benny sent him on his way only to say "leave me the fuck alone you fucking piece of shit." and hung up before he could say anything, then blocked all their numbers.
Shortly after, restraining orders were filed against all of them except for Alia Khala. As hard as this if for me, it's not lost on me how hard it is for Nana, Nani and Nita. I get it. I wish I didn't, but I do.
I was on the couch in the family room thinking over everything while Nani was laying on the other one reading a book when I hear my phone ring again.
I saw Karan's name flashing for the millionth time since Monday. I picked it up.
"Karan bhai."
"Jesus, bachay, where have you been?" He responded in a panic.
"I'm sorry, I just... I couldn't really talk to anyone until everything was done." I replied warily.
"Why didn't you tell me what happened?"
"Because... " I trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.
"I would've believed you." He confessed and I broke down. Nani got up and signalled me to come sit next to her.
"Kiran and Alia Khala don't believe me. Not that I care. I mean, the people who mean the most do and that helps but still, we were so close and after everything..." i told him, as I took my seat next to Nani and leaned my head on her shoulder.
"I know and I'm so sorry. I wish I had been there."
"I know." Now, I know.
"I'm on your side. I understand this is a difficult time for you but I'm on your side. So is Aashu and Dad. You already know my issues with Vishaal and Kiran but Aana, don't ever hesitate to call me. I'll be in SF next week. If you're up to it, how about you, Rania and I go out to eat or spend time together at the house?"
"I'd really like that, Bhai." I was craving for normalcy at this point. At least some version of it.
"You got it, Bachay." He cheered. "Remember, call me if you need anything."
"Can you bring me my favorite chocolate?" I asked like a little girl and it made him laugh out loud. He always got me the good stuff. He was the only one I could trust in that department.
"You got it. I'll add it to my list of other treats to get you!" He chuckled.
We talked some more before he hung up. I felt at ease for a little bit. I could finally see everyone's true colors now. Some shone bright and others were nothing but dark holes and now, they were now no longer a part of my life.
"Nani?"
"Yes meri jaan." She replied softly.
"If you have an inkling that something wrong is happening or that—" I swallowed. "If you could maybe help someone see the good in themselves but for that it would require a very… I don't know…" I trailed off. Not being able to fully explain myself.
"What happened, Aana?"
I looked at her and I felt tears form in my eyes but I smiled trying my best to keep them at bay.
"I already asked Benny about this but he would prefer I get permission from you. I need his and Tom's help with something. It could end up being nothing but I have a hunch that—"
"You don't have to explain your reasoning. Just tell me." She placed a hand on my cheek.
"It's about Christian Grey. That woman Elena Lincoln… I heard something and I think she's… simply put I think she's evil."
Nani pursed her lips and nodded. "I will not lie, I didn't not get a good feeling from her. If you feel it in your gut then you have my permission. Ask Benny to use whatever means necessary to get information."
"Will you tell Nana?"
"In my own way, I will." She gave me a sly smile that made me laugh. "You like Christian?"
I roller my eyes. "Calm down, Aisha Hasan! It's not gonna happen."
"Why not?" Her lips twitched and she cocked her head to the side.
"We're too different and besides, I want to go to college and grow. I haven't really lived, you know."
"Is that all?"
"He saved my life. Surely, i'm dealing with some sort of transference. Last thing I need is a restraining order from him." I giggled.
She smiled. "Well, it's good that you sent him cookies. It was a nice gesture but you could pursue a friendship with him at least and see where it goes. You'll be in Portland next semester, you'll be close enough to Seattle. Think about it." She said casually.
After explaining to the Dean what happened they helped facilitate my change in schedule to have my classes online so that I wouldn't have to defer to next semester and therefore stay on track.
Another option for next semester was that I make it so that my schedule was only two days and I'd fly over to portland for those two days and stay in a hotel then fly back when i'm done. That way i'd live home in SF fulltime if I wanted.
I told Mama i'd think about it. That arrangement would mean I wouldn't have a proper college experience.
"Why are you so team Christian Grey?" I looked back at her curiously.
"Well, it's obvious he likes you."
I burst out laughing. "You're so funny Aisha Hasan."
"You laugh but Aana, he's the one for you. Wait and see." She said knowingly. "Come, let's go have tea."
I told her I'd be there in a bit. Looking through my phone and I opened his contact. Should I send him a friendly "hey!" text? He surely doesn't seem like a recreational texter.
I already knew he wouldn't be able to find my number. Benny made it sure that it stayed that way after the Rothstein shit happened. He didn't want the off chance of anyone trying to track me. He'd also installed a VPN on my phone courtesy of Tom's brother to make sure I could be tracked from my emails.
It wasn't honestly overkill but for some reason I appreciated it now more than ever.
Saturday, August 29th. 2015
Part of the deal that I had to make with Benny and Tom after getting permission from Nani or Nana for our little side project was to make them brownies once a week and Brunch anytime we had a strategy session.
Fat asses.
Tom walked me from the Presidio Terrace house to the building across the street from the compound where AHAK security lived.
"You know Tom, I wouldn't have gotten lost walking from across the street." I sassed.
"Whatever Steele, I can't have you getting kidnapped again. I don't work well on an empty stomach." He smirked, looking down at me and I rolled my eyes.
"All you guys care about is the food isn't it?"
"Good, you get it now."
Once I was done making the giants food to eat we retreated to one of the rooms that they treated like an office to talk about our plan for Elena Lincoln.
Tom's brother Max was on skype from Virginia and mostly grumbling after knowing what was on the menu for brunch. I made everyone pancakes with bananas glazed in maple syrup with pecans. Instead I promised to send him a batch of cookies and brownies once a month.
While we were busy dealing with the procedural bullshit from pressing charges and the arraignment hearing, Tom had instructed Max to fully look into Elena Lincoln's background from the moment she was born to her google search history from yesterday. This included her connection to Christian beyond the salons.
Max cleared his throat and began his presentation. "Elena Lincoln as we now know her was born Astrid Solomon to a broken family and neglectful parents in Mystic, Connecticut. She filed for emancipation when she was 16 and changed her name to Elena Newbury. She got involved in the BDSM scene quite young it seems. Her older half brother, Bryce Weston on her mother's side seemed to be in the same circle. She moved out to San Jose and he supported her for a while till he was killed in a hit and run. After a couple of years she moved to Seattle and worked in a high-end salon that's since gone out of business. She married Eric Lincoln in the late 90's and they got divorced 4 years ago."
"How do we know she's been in the BDSM circle for as long as she has?" I asked.
"I hacked into the database of Armure, she was a member from the age of 19 till 27. Mostly a sub."
"And then she graduated to become a Domme?"
"It seems that way. I did some more digging and it turns out her kind of BDSM is hardcore, not everyone can take it."
I gulped and shook my head. "What's the connection with Grey?"
"Well, here's where it gets interesting. Tom and Benny told me that you didn't want me to hack into his residential CCTV or his servers so I didn't but I did pull his medical records and school records to try and create a timeline and find a connection. The kid was a problem child from the start it seems like. Getting into fights and expelled but then all of a sudden his grades shot up and he got into Harvard and-"
"When was this?"
"Age 15. He received a final warning from his fourth school and then suddenly things changed. He did really well, got into AP classes and went off to Harvard only to drop out a year later and start GEH. The seed money for GEH came from Elena Lincoln."
"What the fuck?" Benny blurts out.
"Yeah, she gave him a cashiers check for $100,000. Two years later he became a silent partner in a joint venture for salon's with her."
"What is your honest assessment Max?" I asked. My heart was beating out of my chest.
"There's more to this but based on the conversation you overheard, all the signs point to Elena being in a BDSM relationship with Christian Grey since he was in his teens. I'm not sure if it was as young as 15 but there is some shit going on there." He paused for a few seconds. "I pulled up her flight history for the past 7 years and she's taken random trips to Boston while Christian was at Harvard. I looked up the BDSM clubs and hacked into their databases. On the weekends she visited Boston, she would pay entrance fees for herself and a male sub. It can't be a coincidence."
I closed my eyes willing myself to not throw up.
"Look, I'm not a profiler but I'm trained to spot patterns and there are very few coincidences when I'm looking into shit. Given Elena's bad rap in the BDSM community and her financial connection to Grey, it makes sense."
"So are they still in a relationship?"
"No. It doesn't look like it. However, something interesting happened after Grey cashed the check. Two days later, Elena Lincoln was brought into the ER, beaten to a pulp and divorce papers were served to her a week later. She never pressed charges against anyone nor did she contest the divorce. All she got was the house and that's it."
"You think the husband found out?" Tom asked.
"It's possible or it could be a coincidence." He shrugged.
"What else?" I murmured. I wanted to cry.
"Grey is definitely a Dom and Elena is his pimp."
I closed my rubbed my face, I felt my eyes heat up. Why was I feeling this way? Why was this affecting me?
"Annie, you want to take a break?" Benny asked and I shook my head giving him a small smile.
"So as I was saying…" Max continued. "She provides him with subs."
"How do you know that for sure?"
"She uses her fucking gmail to email him. It's so amateur hour that I want to laugh and cry at the same time. In fact, I'm sending you a copy of his BDSM contract. The bro has some serious issues. He literally pays these women to fuck them. It's like high-end prostitution. Anyway, you'll get the gist when you read it." He chuckled. "I've also got a lock on her phone and text messages and well, I hit another jackpot."
"Just hit me with all of it, Max." I breathed out. How much worse could it get from what he just told me?
"So she emails him prospects with all their information and pictures. These pictures are headshots and pictures of them in lingerie, upscale porn if you ask me but that's neither here nor there. The jackpot here right now are two women in particular; Phoebe Richmond and Leila Williams."
He switches to screen share that displays on the TV we were watching him on and pictures of two pale brunettes. Phoebe has brown eyes and Leila is absolutely gorgeous with fiery amber eyes.
"He has a type. Pale skinned brunettes."
I purse my lips. I knew I was leaning too much into this... but he helped me? I was suddenly so confused.
"Max, what's so special about these two?"
"I ran a detailed background check on them and went through their emails to Elena and text messages. Turns out they are her half brother's daughters from two different women back East. Grey ended his contract with Phoebe Richmond last night and she messaged her dear aunt in a panic. Elena immediately messaged Leila to end the contract with her current Dom in San Jose and fly to Seattle. She wants to present her to Christian next week."
"I'm sorry, I need a minute." I got up and ran to the bathroom and threw up my breakfast.
Benny knocked the door furiously. "Annie, are you okay? Talk to me."
I cleaned up quickly and opened the door, tears falling from my eyes. I felt so confused and weird. I felt a little like a fool.
"What's wrong Annie?" His expression was soft and he put one hand on my shoulder.
"Nothing, I just feel a little silly." I shrugged. "Let's go back inside." I walked in trying to hide my tear stained face from Tom and Max. "So she's pimping out her nieces. You think Grey knows this cause if he does, he really is once sick son of a bitch?" I muttered.
"There's no way of knowing. Again, it's easy for me to find this shit out cause I'm absing government resources for shits and giggles. If Grey hasn't looked into Elena's background extensively then he won't make this connection." Max responded.
"What do you want to do with this information Annie?" Tom asked.
"I'm not sure but I do want Elena Lincoln to be put where the sun doesn't shine."
"There's two more things." Max spoke up. I told him to proceed. "She makes a trip to the Cayman Islands every 3 or 4 months for a week."
"What for?"
"Enhancements." Max chuckles. "Well that and she has a safety deposit box at Victoria Scots Ltd bank that she accesses every time she goes. Her account has $2 million dollars so far."
"She's stealing from him?"
"Hells to the yes." Max cheers rather enthusiastically.
"And the second thing?" I ask.
"She has a 19 year old sub. A boy named Isaac Horowitz. She's been texting him for the past three years and there are pictures." He gagged a little.
"Oh fuck." I groaned.
"She likes 'em young." He said a little cheerily which bothered me a little.
"How are you so... I don't know, nonchalant about this shit?" I asked annoyed.
"Look, I know is this a lot but Steele, I have seen some really fucked up shit, same goes for Tom and Benny. I guess I'm desensitized a little. What Elena is doing is wrong, there's no doubt about it but I'm not surprised by it." He explained. "As for Grey, we don't know how far into this he is. So far all his subs are of age, and definitely above 21."
"Is that all Max?"
"So far, if anything else comes up I can emailed Benny and Tom, but as it as I'll be consolidating all this information for you all to give to Grey if you want to."
"Thanks, Max." I mumble. "I really appreciate this. You'll be getting cookies and brownies next week."
"SWEET. Okay, I gotta go and beat the shit out of pre-pubescent shithead during Call of Duty. Peace." He ends the call.
I take a deep breath and stare straight at the plain white wall in front of me. My mind feels like a fucking hurricane.
"Annie." Benny calls out to me.
"Yeah, Benz." I murmur.
"Now that you have permission from Mrs. Karim we can puts eyes on the ground if you want." He offers.
I take a few moments and look back at them. "Fine. But go in on Elena. Go through her house. As for Grey, I'm hesitant. Have Max hack into the CCTV camera above his private elevator in the garage but that's it. Let's monitor his guests."
"I have taught you well, child." Benny does his best and absolutely worst yoda impression.
"Max told me she's scheduled to fly out to the Cayman Island in two weeks. We can get in through her housekeeper and do a sweep of her place to see if there's anything else."
"I like the idea of that." I say.
"Ideally we need to monitor all this for at least a month before we put all the pieces together and then you can make a decision to do whatever you want with this information." Tom tells me.
"I won't lie, I'm a little scared about what more we'll find."
"We'll figure it out." Benny assured me.
I nodded and smiled at them both. Benny walked me back to the house and I went straight up to my room and cried. For what? I didn't know.
I thought about our conversations and him laughing. I kept replaying the weekend. Was I making it more than it was? Maybe we didn't have a connection and it was just the circumstances.
If he helped me, surely he wasn't like Elena. He couldn't be. If she got to him so young then maybe she's made him believe that he doesn't deserve love or good things. I replayed the conversation I overheard last weekend.
"That girl looks awfully familiar by the way... was she your GEH emergency? She's the sub from Armure isn't she? You brought a sub to sit smack in the middle of your family? How fucking stupid are you Christian?" There sarcasm in Elena's voice made me want to slap her. I'd never had a reaction like that to anyone before.
"I told you that shit wasn't a scene. She was innocent girl who was taken in there against her will. She was begging for help while you fucking sat there and got off on it." His voice is low and menacing. I find it unnerving.
"Please... that's a load of bullshit." Elena scoffs.
"I don't give a shit what you believe. That girl needed help and I did what I thought was best at the time."
"Oh I see what's happening here. You like her... yes... you saved her and now you're falling for the little broken bird. Aww, Christian... get your fucking head out of your ass. If she is as innocent as you say she is, you think she'll consider after she finds out the truth about you? That you are no different from the man that was whipping her with the belt?"
"Don't fucking test me right now, Elena. I am not in the mood for your shit."
"So you are falling for her. I knew you were losing your edge. If you were my sub, I'd whip till you couldn't sit or stand for a week. It's like I taught you nothing."
"I am not your sub anymore and don't. you. dare. speak to me like I am one, ever again. Do you understand?"
"Then get your head out of your ass. That girl is nothing but trouble. If she ever figures you out and tells anyone your secret, your family will disown you faster than you can open your mouth to apologize."
"She's signed an NDA and she doesn't know anything. She just thinks I was checking out the club randomly with a business associate."
"You know, she's got a lot of fight in her. You could convince her to try the lifestyle... train her if anything... "
"She's too pure for that shit, Elena. Just move on."
"So pure that you considered for maybe a moment that she could save you? Love you? Isn't that why she's sitting in your family home? Christian, people like us don't do love. Love is for fools. Weak people do love and pay a heavy price for it. Love is primitive."
"She's here because I don't want to have my ass hauled through the streets for potential kidnapping. Grace wants us to greet her family as a family. Besides, they've contributed to Coping Together over the years, Grace has a connection with her mom."
"Hmm. She looks alright... decent body, pale skin with the blue eyes and long brunette hair... your type to a T. What a waste though." I felt my eyes start to burn. I felt my body start to crash.
I'm his type. I just fit a mold? I silently wondered. Before tears fell out of my eyes I shook my head and controlled myself.
I open the folder Tom gave me and take out the copy of his contract with Phoebe Richmond that Max pulled from Elena's email. As I read through it, it felt like ownership and it was... cold. No touching. No aftercare. Hard limits and soft limits made me want to throw up again. Rules for literally everything. I shook my head.
All my research on BDSM was preliminary and I needed to know more. My brain wouldn't rest until I knew more but I couldn't do this alone. Benny would flip his shit if I told him I wanted to meet a BDSM professional or whatever they were called. I needed more opinions. If what Elena practiced was considered horrible then surely there were people at the other end of the spectrum. I needed to meet them and someone in the middle. I need to hear from all kinds of people.
Who would I go with?
Rania! Bingo.
She's always up for an adventure and totally non-judgmental.
I needed to start therapy again too so I can sort out these feelings and make sure it's not transference and maybe if it is, then I can deal with it and be more clear headed.
I set out my agenda. Therapy to sort out these thoughts in my mind and find out as much as I could about BDSM from the internet, books and the people who practiced it.
I had a month to do all of this till I got my second information dump about Elena Lincoln and Christian Grey.
Till then, I'd be praying the Christian was innocent in all this. That he really was a good man who was maybe misunderstood.
A/N: Lots of things happening here. Hit me with your thoughts.
Next chapter we'll see what Christian is up to again.