"So I was thinking we send a letter to Mary and tell her to tell Lily it'll just be her, Mary, that is available to meet up, but when Lily gets to wherever it is they decide upon we'll all be there!" James said to Sirius excitedly already rummaging around for his quill and parchment.

"You sure she'll want to see us all?" Sirius said skeptically. It wasn't that Sirius didn't want to go, but he certainly didn't want to overwhelm poor Lily with her going through so much.

"You mean are you sure she'll want to see me?" James asked sadly. Although Lily had been perfectly nice in her letter she had left very little indication as to whether or not she wanted to further a relationship with him. He didn't blame her of course James knew she obviously had more pressing matters on her mind.

"What no don't be silly prongs I just don't want her to feel it's too much, we might like it but she's not us".

"When did you get so mature" James said sounding genuinely shocked

"I've always known how to be mature" Sirius laughed "but sometimes it's just less fun to take that route".

"Well why don't I still write to Mary but I'll just ask her what she thinks of the plan? We don't all have to go if she thinks it'll overwhelm her. I'll have to check with dad that I can borrow his owl though I want to give Peveral straight back to Lily".

"You can always borrow Peckers if you like ?" Sirius offered shrugging "I'm not contacting anyone you're not this Christmas".

"Ah yeah to be honest mate, I'm still recovering from the last time I tried to use your bloody bird".

Sirius laughed.

XXXX

Since sending James' letter Lily had spent most of her time sat on her bed staring out at the grey sky, it was only a week before Christmas but she had never felt less festive. Whenever she tried to go downstairs and help her mother or tend to her father Petunia made it very apparent that she thought Lily was just being an annoyance and getting in the way. On this particular afternoon Vernon had come over to have tea with Lily's parents and per Petunia's request Lily had agreed to remain upstairs. Not that she really wanted to see him anyways.

She was eager to get James' reply even though she knew against her better judgement she had spoken very little of their personal matter in her letter to him. Lily felt it would just be better to discuss that in person. She also desperately wanted to let Mary, Alice and Remus know of her fathers condition in the hopes that their words would comfort her.

It wasn't until a few days before Christmas that there came a familiar tap on the window. Lily awoke from her afternoon nap jumping to attention and running to open the window.

Once again Peveral obediently held out his leg and Lily untied the letter.

Lily,

I can't even begin to say how sincerely sorry me and Sirius are to hear of your fathers illness. I want you to know my family are always here should you ever need any help. I'm sorry this letter is so brief but I wanted to ensure that Peveral could come straight back to you so you could write to everyone else.

Thinking of you, and am always here for you.

James

Lily put the letter down unsure of how to feel. James' words were comforting but he had said nothing about Lily's acceptance to meet up. She hoped it was because of his haste to get the letter back to her. Without hesitation Lily grabbed the letters addressed to Remus, Mary and Alice handing them over to Peveral and watched him soar out the open window with them.

It was nearly dinner time so Lily made her way downstairs. Since returning home she had dreaded these family dinners . Petunias hatred of her had always made them a little difficult but now they were unbearable. Lily's mother would fuss teary eyed over her father who in his progressive illness had begun to snap at any unwanted help. Petunia would act indifferent to this gabbing on and on about Vernon and the restaurants or fair or film he had taken her to.

Lily knew her father had stopped receiving the chemotherapy and that his days were numbered. She greatly respected his decision to remain at home rather than in a hospital but she felt as though the dad she knew had already gone. Lily wondered how she would be if she knew that the last days of her life were approaching, she hoped to spent them in laughter with those closest to her. But she wondered whether her response in reality may echo that of her fathers, he had turned bitter in sad acceptance of his fate.

"Dinners nearly ready" Lily's mother said gesturing her to the table.

"Where are Dad and Petunia?" She replied, the table had only been laid for two.

"Oh Tuney surprised him !" May said smiling "she's taken him out to dinner".

Lily felt extremely stung "why couldn't we all have gone ?".

"Oh well I think she wanted to spend a little time alone with him, whilst she can" May said tears forming in her eyes.

If this had been a normal situation Lily would have retorted back that Petunia lived at home and could therefore spend all the time she wanted with dad. It was her Lily who had only just found out about any of this and had no time to digest it let alone spend quality time with her father. But she knew how much this had all understandably affected her mother, and so she bit her tongue.

They had a near silent dinner. Lily didn't feel very hungry, she felt so restless.

"I think I'm going to go out for a walk" she said when her plate was finally empty.

"Do you want me to come?" Her mother offered

"No it's ok you stay in the warmth, I just feel a little achy a walk might help".

XXXX

Lily had walked nearly all around the small neighbourhood and had barley realised how dark it had gotten outside. She was just rounding the next corner that would begin to take her back home when a figure came out of the shadows.

It was Snape.

Lily completely by surprise didn't know what to say.

Snape uncertain by this lack of social cue looked at her earnestly.

"Lily I-I heard about your father and I".

"You what?" Lily practically spat "from who?".

Snape seemingly wasn't expecting this question "my uh , from my mother, she heard it in the store".

Lily completely unwilling to talk about such a personal matter to her ex best friend started along a different line of enquiry "have you been following me ?".

"What? I- no , well I saw you walking and I.."

"Thought you'd come harass me?" Lily spat interrupting him.

"Harass you ? You've barley let me say three words" Snape seethed "I just wanted to make sure you were ok, Lily I..." he stepped towards her but Lily immediately took a step back.

"Make sure I was ok?" Lily asked with a humourless laugh "have you forgotten who you are? What you're planning on becoming ? Or already have become" she added sourly.

"I can protect you!" Snape said grabbing Lily's hand before she had the chance to move away. "The dark Lord will win Lily but if you declare your allegiance now I can protect you".

She snatched her hand back scathingly "I see" she said incredulously "you'll protect me but to hell with my friends, or my family or the freedom of the wizarding world. You don't care so long as you get what you want?".

"That's not.." Snape began

"You disgust me" Lily whispered all sarcastic humour gone from her voice "I can't believe I ever considered you my friend".

Snape was clearly stung by Lily's words but wasn't giving up that easy.

"This isn't about sides anymore ! Can't you see that? This is about me wanting to protect you wanting to look after you".

He was mere inches away from her face now. Lily almost felt sorry for him, how could he have gotten this situation so wrong.

She sighed "I don't need your protection, we're on two separate paths now, there's no changing that".

"But you'll accept Potter" Snape spat furiously "I've seen the two of you together, you used to hate him. Yet you say it's me that's changed".

"He's a good person" Lily said "he cares about me and he shows it by supporting muggleborns not joining a group that wants us dead".

Lily made to leave she didn't see the point of continuing this endless argument.

But ever hopeful Snape wasn't giving up.

"So you're with him now" he said harshly following on after.

"That's none of your business" Lily retorted picking up her pace. "Stop following me or so help me I will jinx you" Lily turned round to Snape her wand out.

"This isn't the end of it." Snape said eyeing Lily's wand cautiously "you'll come round to my way soon enough".

He gave her one last desperate look but thankfully walked away.

XXXX

It was the day before Christmas Eve, Sirius , James, Peter and Remus were sat in James' room playing exploding snap.

"You do realise she could still say no don't you" Peter piped up as he placed a card on the pile tentatively, luckily nothing happened.

"Ah well what difference does it make?" James said playing it off "if she says no we've still had a few days to hang out". He too put a card on the pile and again, nothing happened. James had sent owls to the two boys asking them to come down if Mary gave them the all ok to see Lily.

"I'm so glad there isn't a full moon this Christmas" Remus mused happily also placing a card on the pile, this time living up to its name the cards exploded in a flurry of smoke.

XXXX

The next morning found all four boys still fast asleep. They had been up playing games and chatting until early morning.

A soft tapping noise could be heard from James' window as he rolled over in his sleep. The tapping grew louder and more irritated apparently it's causer realising no one was listening.

Finally James sat up blurry eyed and looked towards the source of the noise, it was his dads owl Fawnby. Racing to the window he flung it open and the bird soared in. Perhaps the commotion or the sudden blast of cold air that had entered the room caused the other three boys to stir.

"It's Mary!" James replied eagerly "she's replied !".

Shaking slightly James opened the letter.

James,

I received Lily's letter only moments before yours and had actually already myself began planning a get together of us all. I'm sure she would love it ! Are you able to meet today (as in Christmas Eve) I know it's short notice but I think she could really do with some cheering up! Whether you can make it or not I've arranged to meet Lily at the Sprinkles cafe (it's on the outskirts of Cokeworth Lily's home town) at about 11, so if you can make it that's where we will be.

Best, Mary

James feeling of euphoria was short lived however as he looked at his watch.

"UP!" he yelled "GET UP ALL OF YOU!".

"Merlins!" Sirius said "what the heck is going on?".

"It's 10 o'clock and Mary said she's meeting Lily for 11!".

The boys scrabbled round for half an hour trying to sort themselves out. Fleamont James' dad had already agreed to do side along apparition with each of the boys in turn to get them there. As although all four boys were 17 they had yet to be given apparition lessons.

"Right, is everybody ready?" Fleamonts head popped round James' door. Both him and his wife had been much later in life when they had James. Each had given up any hope of having children when at age 50 for Euphemia and 55 for Fleamont they had become parents. He was a balding but very good natured man. He stood to about James' height of 6 foot and his boyish grin meant he didn't quite look his age.

"Yeah we're all set!" James said. His stomach was knotted. Selfishly he was looking forward to seeing Lily, but he also knew what an awful time she must be having. Since they still hadn't resolved the kiss situation he wondered what role he was to play, the compassionate friend or compassionate boyfriend?

XXXX

"I'm so glad we're doing this" Lily said squeezing Mary and Alice's hands.

"Me too Lil's. After we heard the news I knew there was no way we could let your only comfort be your sister, what's she been like?" Mary asked skeptically.

Lily gave a sarcastic chuckle "pretty awful, I'm not sure she really cares. I think it's almost as though she sees it as another thing to hold over me "oh I was there during dads last months looking after him whilst you were away at that freak school" she won't let me help him. Took him out to dinner the other night if you can believe it, left me and mum at home".

"The cow" Alice said grimly "You can't let her ruin this.. this last Christmas with him Lil's you'll never forgive yourself if you do".

"I know I know.. Mary who are you looking for ?" Lily asked confused as to why her friend kept scanning around the cafe door. "And you Alice you keep checking your watch what are you -".

But she needn't say any more just as she too had joined in craning her neck round to look for any newcomers a group of boys came in.