Boss

They got back at practically the same moment we did, far later than had been expected, but when we saw the trio rather than the quartet disembark from what was supposed to be a tank, but rather, was 4 camelephants, the obvious had made itself clear-something had gone horribly wrong.

My concern, frankly, couldn't have been less when it came to the separatists. I only wanted to make sure that of the 3 silhouettes disembarking, 2 were my own men. I knew that Kiu had no plans to send anybody else today so the returning group could only have been those sent to intercept the convoy, and sure enough, it was them. Gordez picked up on my haste as I began speeding towards the disembarking convoy, feeling the relief wave through me when, behind the initial shadow that revealed itself to be Pho, Luke and Jadoh dismounted their beasts of burden as well.

I remembered to at least cool myself off somewhat, still allowing myself to sport a smile as I approached to see them unscathed for the most part. The joy wasn't shared by them, it seemed, both of them more aware of just how wrong their job had went, but as far as I was concerned, it didn't matter. They were alive.

Somebody somewhere called for a messenger to tell Kiu that they'd returned, but I was more focused on those who were already here, asking, "Everything alright?"

"Hard to really say that," responded, motioning over to Luke who had a dark look on his eyes, enough of one to make me fear that he had relapsed, but in that moment, he turned his head up, and nonchalantly joked, "Things could have gone better. That's for sure."

"A bit of an understatement," commented Jadoh.

"What happened?" I asked, legitimately concerned over what had occurred. "Where's the other one?"

"Let's just say he didn't make it."

"Wha-"

"Luke, Jadoh" Pho said, stopping over. "Kiu's here," he said, almost in a warning tone.

"Where's Lei'fo?" was the first thing that Kiu asked as he approached the grouping of us, unconcerned with whoever heard the debriefing in that moment. The question was directed towards Pho who was the only one of his own Separatists remaining from the mission, and so, accordingly, it was him to respond, saying, "He's dead, general."

"What the-" he said, losing the air in him for a moment, only to recover, yelling, "What the hell happened? How did he die?"

I was preparing to hear Pho answer again when, in his stead, Luke spoke up, saying, "I killed him, sir."

The surprise I felt in that moment was asking to whatever Kiu must have felt right then, minus the blind rage, but overwhelmed rather by confusion, only then remembering Luke's words. What did Lei'fo do?

Apparently, Pho had the same awareness of Luke's code that I did, immediately adding before Luke could face the general's wrath, "Lei'fo had proved himself a threat to us and the people around him, general." Kiu turned to him in shock, astonished by one of his own speaking out against a comrade in such a manner. "He attempted to kill an unarmed civilian and threatened to kill the rest. Luke prevented him from doing so in the only way possible."

"For Raava's-, and what happened to the tank? What happened?!" I'd never seen Kiu so unrestrained from his emotions. What was once a cool, collected man had been overwhelmed by his confusion, anger, and rage, and was showing it in this moment, but in putting myself in his shoes, I doubted I'd behave any differently.

Pho continued now, Luke's turn to speak having passed. "Our attack on the convoy didn't go as planned. Lei'fo recommended we smoke out the tank operators within the vehicle. I had thrown in a smoke grenade while he opted for an actual stick of dynamite, destroying the tank from the inside. We managed to convince the convoy that we were still their escort and were capable of defending them. We found a point to hold up the caravan and rob them, realizing we could use their camelephants mounts in the stead of the tank to carry the supplies. As we were leaving, Lei'fo refused my orders for us to go and was harassing the caravan leader, threatening to kill his son. The man rose, Luke mediated, and when Lei'fo attempted to kill the man, Luke intervened and stopped him. It wasn't Luke's fault, sir. Don't blame him for this."

Kiu seemed taken aback by the whole story, less so at Lei'fo's actions, but more at Pho's total defense of the man, no, kid that had killed his former comrade. "I thought you and Lei'fo were friends."

"I thought so too, but that doesn't make a wrong any less wrong. I may have done differently in Luke's situation, perhaps even refused to intervene, but maybe that's what made him the right one to interfere."

Kiu sighed, "I knew it was too early to send him out after what happened last time." Naturally, we had no idea of what this last time had been, but it was clear that this was a repeat incident. "Kai and Golen aren't going to take it well. They were his friends."

"I'll tell them, sir."

"Leave out that it was Luke. Bonds run deep here as do feuds."

"Yes, sir."

Kiu turned to Luke and Jadoh now, only saying, "I know why you did what you did. You did the right thing, but don't forget whose side you're on."

Kiu turned to leave, and began his walk away, only turning his head to say, "And you may want to hunker in for the night. Nasty storm's coming. Spirits are angry tonight."

"At us or them?" I asked, slowly beginning to grow more interested in the man's beliefs of the workings of the spirits within our world.

"Who can know?" he yelled back.

Whether the spirits were out for us or for somebody else, we faced the brunt of the storm they delivered at around midnight. Harsh rain, howling winds, striking lightning and thunder. Naturally, my first instinct was to get as far away as humanly possible from the wooden platforms held together by hempen rope elevated hundreds of feet above the Earth. And as much as my fear was pushing me to get the hell out of there, there was the part of me that went even further, infesting my mind with the notion that these platforms were going to collapse at any moment. It was that same notion that forced me to look for everybody I knew among this tree house to give them the perilous order, "get off the platforms please." I think, in part, they knew, at least Jadoh did when I approached him, taking him away from the crowd of Seppies he was presently huddling with in the common area. It was mostly out of pity for my irrational fear that he amused me, agreeing to come down after one last game of cards, one that was interrupted when a gust of wind blew though, scattering the playing cards into the night sky.

The storm was getting worse, and perhaps it was even some of Jadoh's own fears that pushed him to listen to me and get to the surface, telling me as he went that Gordez, Zek, and Ka'lira were already below, thank heavens.

For the most part, the Seppies seemed rather calm, at least in relation to us. I imagined they'd dealt with this before, and the fact that they were all still breathing was further proof the platforms would hold, but I was in no mood for rational arguments, especially when one of the Seppies, Jet, I think his name was, found me stumbling around, trying to imagine where Luke may be when he said, "I imagine you're not going to stay up here for book club?" he joked.

"You really trust these platforms?"

"They've kept us safe through worse."

"What's been worse than this?"

He thought for a moment, shrugging, and said, "Couldn't tell you, actually."

"You're sure making light of something that could level this place in the span of seconds."

"Need something to lift the mood. Heard Lei'fo didn't make it back. We were friends. Kind of."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, a chill going up my spine as I remembered that it was Luke that had killed him. "I mean. I heard too, but, I'm sorry that he was your friend, I mean-"For fuck's sake, I'm in no state to be bullshitting right now.

"I get it. Words can't do the trick. Anyway, may want to get yourself to the lift. Luke's hanging out on the balcony, just taking in the rain. Kind of weird if you ask me."

"What direction is the balcony?" I asked, getting nauseous at the thought, not helped by the swaying motions that the platform beneath us was making.

He pointed, and I nearly emptied my stomach when I saw the rope bridge that led to where I had to go. "I can fetch him if you want me to," he offered.

"Yes please," I said, casting aside any sense of pride, completely overwritten by my nearing desire to throw up over the platform edge.

I decided for, just a few seconds, to lean against one of the support columns, placing my forehead against it, closing my eyes until I realized that cutting off one of my senses just amplified the dizziness and nausea. When I opened my eyes again, it wasn't Luke standing there as I'd hoped, but rather, Kiu, resting on the platform balcony, and serenity to him that I couldn't understand, completely countered by what he said next, "I think I might give an evacuation order."

That made me feel both good, and far far worse all at the same time. On one hand, I felt validated, but on the other, I realized I was still standing on the platforms he intended on evacuating.

"It that bad?"

"Worse than anything else these platforms have stood up against. But we have nowhere to house them, and the panic, might make things worse than they are right now. If I order an evacuation, even if this place survives, they'll always doubt how much safety it really provides."

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?"

"Hard to keep order when people don't even think you can keep them safe."

"Better to see you're trying to keep them safe even if it means doubting yourself rather than running the risk of them all dying."

"You always this smart when you're about to puke?"

"Only on the good days."

"I'll talk to them, give them the option if it'll make them more comfortable."

"You're their leader, not a mentor."

"On the contrary, it's exactly the other way around. They might call me "the general", but I always considered my role here to be to keep them safe rather than lead them into battle."

"I don't think they see it that way. Rather, it seems to me like you've started a Separatist movement."

"They did that well enough on their own, looking to me to be an anchor. If I'd turned things around, they wouldn't be here now, they'd be ganging up on one another, fighting in streets wars that didn't mean a damn thing."

"But this war does?" Another gust blew through, and the shifting of the ground beneath me nearly sent me to my knees, all the while, Kiu stayed put where he was, and rather than answer my question, said, "I lost a man today, a kid. It doesn't feel good."

"I know the feeling."

"You've lost people under you before"

Back in the war, at Ba Sing Se, with the Fire Nation, but I said none of that, substituting it only with, "Yes."

"Then you know that it feels like you failed them. I would've thought that feeling would die out over time, but every time, it still feels the same."

"How long have-" I was interrupted by feeling today's lunch rise in my throat, promptly followed by me gagging, only barely keeping it inside of me.

"This conversation can wait 'till later. You're boy's back." Kiu smiled. "Somebody's enjoying himself.

I got back up onto my feet to see Luke approach, and sure enough, with a huge grin on his face as he let the water soak him, paying no mind to the rope bridge shaking beneath his feet as he crossed.

"How the hell are you enjoying this, you psycho?" I asked, still hunched over as Luke merely shrugged.

"What can I say? I like the rain."

"Since fucking when?"

"I'll leave you two to it," Kiu said, taking his leave. "Spirits are angry today. I'll recommend my men get to ground level. I recommend you two go first. Raava keep you"

"Stay safe," I barely mumbled out as I stumbled away from the commons to where the lift was situated. Luke beckoned over the operator who was huddled beneath a nearby shelter, warming his hands with his breath until Luke's call brought him back to his feet, promptly lowering us down to the forest floor.

"How the hell are you enjoying this?" I asked, the lift doing little to calm my nerves as the wind had an even easier time here pushing us side to side, my only relief coming from knowing we'd be on solid land soon.

"I don't know, I just like this kind of weather. It's relaxing."

"We might have to evacuate this place because the world's going to collapse around us. That's relaxing to you?!"

"Kind of is, not going to lie."

"You're weird."

"You're the one who recruited me."

"I didn't say I was any better."

Luke chuckled to that which, somehow, is what made me feel somewhat better in that moment, giving me some relief until the lift finally touched the surface, and we departed, pulling the string to ring the bell up above 2 times to signal that he could raise it again now, though I doubted he'd hear considering our present circumstances. Thank Raava, I found myself thinking against my better judgement. I'm still alive.

The ground beneath us, despite the limited quantities of water making it through the dense layers of tree canopy above us, had already been reduced to a muddy wetland, requiring us to make each step more deliberate than the last for fear of losing our footwear in the sludge we were making our way through, until, finally, as though stepping through a portal into an alternate dimension, we made it to our tent where, huddled around a small communal fire, beneath a thick tarp, supported on all sides by steel stakes in proper Fire Nation erection, Gordez, Zek, Ka'lira, Jadoh sat in a circle, succeeding in playing cards where the Separatists above had failed.

"Room for two more?"

Room was made, and finally, I found myself being allowed to relax. After a few games, Luke took his leave to take the moment to practice some firebending out in the woods while he had the chance. Despite some hesitation, I allowed him to go, trusting in his ability to not be struck by lightning. While the rest caught some sleep, I stayed up for another hour and a half until Luke eventually came back, somehow completely dried. I'd have questioned if he'd even been out at all if I didn't see the sweat beading down his temples. His skills were improving. Significantly. Made me glad that, at the end of the day, he was on our side.

So that night, somehow, we finally managed to get some rest, feeling relaxed despite the chaos around us. It was hard to believe when we woke up that an entire wing of the tree fort had been destroyed.

By some miracle, nobody had died. Kiu had followed through with what he said he'd do. Moved his Seppies away from the more "insecure" platforms, advising some even go to the surface. Gathering those who refused to leave their home in the common room attached to the largest tree in the area, placing all of his eggs in one basket. Nobody had been on nor under the platform when the wing fell thousands of feet to the forest floor. Thought that didn't mean nothing had been lost, at least for one of us. The fallen wing had been the library. I already knew that Luke would be the one suffering from its loss. He even made an effort to search through the rubble to see if he could salvage anything from the ruins, to little avail. I pitied him. The one thing that kept him occupied in the belly of the beast was now in ruins.

The morning began with a headcount as Kiu worked to ensure that all had survived the night. I marveled at how he had the names of every man present memorized, burned into his mind, not excluding my own men. How he did it, to have such a close connection to hundreds of men, escaped me. I managed to do it for those under my command back at Ba Sing Se. I memorized their names, sure, but when I watched as Kiu recited their names, cracking jokes from here to there at the pleasure of hearing of the survival of his men, no, friends, no, children, maybe, it made me wonder if I could ever do the same for so many. I had always feared promotion, to the point of turning it down twice. A squad always struck me as the most I could have under me. Enough to get the job done, but few enough that I knew them, and they knew me, enough that they were family. It was part of the reason why I was afraid of the future when it came to our crew, what growth might entail for the bond we seemed to have. For the moment at least, here with the Seppies, that wasn't an immediate concern.

When the roll call was done, no time was wasted. We were divided into crews, 2 at first. "I'll stay here with half of the men to clear through the rubble, try to find material that can be used for the reconstruction. Boss will lead his men and the other half of us to gather wood on the outskirts of the forest."

A part of me actually wondered then, Who the hell is Boss? Looking through the crowd trying to put a face to a name, wondering why every face was so perfectly oriented for me to see it perfectly until I realized that was due to every face being turned towards me. I'm Boss. There were no protests, only some scattered murmurs, but still enough to warrant Kiu to say, "Boss has experience in leadership, and you are to treat him with the same degree of respect and authority that you would give me. Now, first names, because I sure as hell know not to count on last names, A through M, you're with me, unless you're part of Boss's normal crew. The rest of you, with him!"

I was still standing there as crowds formed when Kiu approached me, not giving any light to his decision, finding no reason to validate his decision, to explain himself, just telling me what had to be done, "Go the southeastern edge of the forest, towards the swamp, away from any civilization, but not too close to the coast. I ran some numbers, and I think we should make do with around 30 trees cut down. They're tall ones. Should at least be enough to get us started on the reconstruction while we get some more lumber. We have some log sleds ready here, but feel free to make some more if the process is too slow for you. Any questions?"

"Only the obvious."

"And I think the answer should be obvious as well. If not, you'll have the day to think on it." He grinned, but I could see that there was something more behind it. Something, sad?

I nodded, and with that, he went to his men, and I turned to find mine, waiting there for me. Today was going to be an interesting day.

It brought me back to the first days of the siege. I remember when, under the Dragon of the West, we had first reached the walls of Ba Sing Se. We had set up the artillery emplacements easily enough, secured something of a perimeter, but a siege could only last so long without material, and we were in the middle of the desert, the only trees within a hundred miles on the other side of the wall. I was a part of the those who were sent to gather the lumber we needed. It took us a day to travel to the forest, 2 weeks to cut down what we needed, and 3 days to travel back. The day after we got back, Admiral Chan had finally arrived to support to Siege, and from that point, he would run supplies to us, starting the day after we had already nearly broken our backs lugging wood through the desert.

It was hard to forget that fortnight, the exhausting work we'd been put through, cutting down nearly all trees that had been on that side of the Serpent's Pass. I wondered what that area looked like now. We'd been ordered by Iroh to leave 1 tree alive for every 5 we cut, hoping to allow the area to regrow. After all, by the time they were set to regrow, the area would be all Fire Nation anyway. Our hopes really were high back then. It could have all have been over by now if things had just gone slightly differently. I pushed the thought aside, instead making the effort to remember Colonel Trazard and the voice that somehow carried across the entire forest, as though he had eyes, ears, and mouths wherever there were men needing shouting at. He'd been strict, disciplined, but we all knew he was on our side. He'd check on our progress, make both comedic compliments and insults depending on the performance of those under his watchful eye.

It was off of him that I modeled myself today, not quite possessing the means by which to have eyes and ears at all places at all times, but I stayed mobile. I'd done the math in my head as we walked to the designated area of the forest where we planned on gathering the lumber we needed, dividing people into 10 groups of 5, some with 6, all to cut down 3 trees by the end of today, relying on some of the Seppie veterans to give me the knowledge of the names that I so desperately needed. I came at a mental impasse, wondering what to do with my own men: to have them in a group of their own, or disperse them among the locals. Bilateral assignments historically hadn't had the best results in the weeks that we'd been staying here, but I figured, more so hoped, that things would be different today. That I could stop things from escalating if such became a risk. So I ended up dividing my men, seeping them into the other groups, praying today would be a good day.

When we finally reached the area that we were set to deforest, I remembered the works of Trazard beating through my head, and so echoes them, loud, clear, for all to hear. In the day we spent there, over 10 hours, I admit I may have gotten somewhat lost in the moment as I walked from group to group, thinking of what Trazard would say, slowly bleeding it into my own style of leadership, screaming orders, compliments, and insults alike, sometimes even picking up the axe to get some cuts in when the current crew seemed to be growing tired. As I took my route through the harvesting area, dodging falling trees, trying to memorize names, etc., I couldn't help but smile to see the actual sense of cooperation between my men and Kiu's. Whatever they had been in the past, today, we exhibited short memories. The grand scheme of things didn't matter for today. Rather, we were all aimed towards the same goal-to put our home back together.

And 10 and a half hours later, cutting down an addition 10 trees, 40 in total, having constructed 4 additional log sleds, we returned home. Ground zero had been cleared of debris, and it was clear they had been waiting for us. And here we were. Today had been a good day, and we went to sleep that night exhausted, sore, but hopeful for what tomorrow would bring. It turned out to be one of the most terrifying days of my life.

I gaped in awe as people actually volunteered to be suspended by rope alone from the branches above our soon-to-be construction site, tying ropes to other branches to create pulley systems and ziplines by which to transport material and themselves. They, Luke, Gordez, and Zek actually among them, hung from the branches above, nailing the supports into the trees, all the way around, connecting the new work in progress wing with a scaffold of rope to mark what the plan was, and I nearly puked twice that day just watching those with more balls than me at their work. I think, however, that what made it all worth it was to watch Gordez at work. I could say with confidence that he was likely the only one there with an actual education (minimal though it may be) in engineering, and he showed it. He broke his long-held silence as he barked orders, demanded changes in the layout, making requests for more supports so as to insure we were standing on even footing. Not even Kiu bothered to override his commands. He knew when to speak and when to listen.

"Your buddy Gordez certainly seems to know his stuff. Where's he from?"

The truth had been Hu Xin, but there were obvious reasons I chose not to give away that detail, instead settling on the answer that, while making me sound the ignorant asshole, didn't seal his fate: "Honestly couldn't tell you. We tend to keep the past to ourselves."

"I don't believe that for a minute."

"Then maybe you believe that in the, just over a week we've been here, I'm not the most inclined to share details that may violate the trust of my men."

"You still don't trust us."

"Only about as much as you trust us."

"So not very much."

"Exactly" though I will admit it hurt to hear he didn't trust us; not like I could blame him. "But you're all growing on me."

"I smiled slightly, "The feeling is mutual I suppose."

"I won't ask about your men's pasts. They're doing good work, and with the wood you got us, I think we should be done with this within the next 3 days."

"That's some wishful thinking."

"No, I'm just saying that it looks like we have a good mix of people here. I know your people have a different code as what may seem to be the norm here. I don't want you to form any false opinions of us. These kids, they've seen a lot, but they're not, at least not most of them, bloodthirsty. They value human life."

"That depends on who they view as human."

"You're a mercenary. You've seen your share of killing."

More than you know. "I kill to defend myself, and those around me. Never when it was unnecessary."

"To these kids, every kill is to protect those they care for as well. An enemy may be wounded, unarmed, or even asleep, but they're still an enemy all the same, one they'll have to fight another day if they choose to let them live."

"I don't argue with this logic of guerilla warfare. But civilians are another thing."

Kiu was quiet for a moment, before saying, "I know. Sometimes it feels like I'm the one following them and not the other way around. I started this because I both wanted to see my home liberated, but also wanted to help these children, without aim, destined to become something much worse without the proper guidance, but sometimes it seems that I'm just the one who sets them up with ways of releasing their rage."

"You're not a bad person, Kiu, but there's only so much that can be excused."

"I know, but you need to understand something too. I had a family, once. The Fire Nation took them from me, but they also gave me a new family. With their deeds, the atrocities they've committed, they've created more enemies than allies, and now, these children, they're my new family. I love them, and I would die and kill half the world if I have to, though I'd rather avoid it, before I see any harm dealt to them."

"I'm-I'm sorry about Lei'fo."

"A part of me wanted to kill you and everybody under you when I heard the news., then it took me thinking that, whether the others like it or not, so long as you're here, under our roof, fighting to protect our people, you're family. And I see no purpose in bringing about the deaths of more family to avenge the death of one."

We had other conversations along these lines today as Gordez took the assignment of putting back together the wing into his own two hands. The next couple of days followed a similar layout, one of which actually prompted me to take another 30 men into the forest to collect more wood as Gordez embarked on a crusade to ensure that "a small breeze never endangered our lives again." It was quite the effort, though I took comfort in knowing it wasn't me dangling from a high branch, my only lifeline a few loops of rope around my waist.

Through it all, however, on that last day, right when the last straw of the thatch roof was set, the celebrations began. Drinking, partying, the like. It was clear that Jadoh was enjoying himself while Zek and Ka'lira actually allowed themselves to loosen up with some drinking, though sticking close together, Ka'lira's eyes on nearby women, and Zek's on nearby men. It was an amusing sight in all honesty. Gordez resigned early after a single drink that he consumed in a quiet corner that, when looking at him, seemed as though he'd made specifically for himself. He seemed about ready to leave with Luke who was clearly also not enjoying himself when Kiu approached the duo, saying first to Gordez, "We'd be partying now in the middle of the sky if it weren't for you. I don't know how you did it, but right now, that doesn't matter. Thank you." He placed a hand on Gordez's shoulder and kept it there for a good second in a form of paternal pride before turning to Luke and saying, "I know you also lost quite a bit, more than anybody else actually, in that collapse the other day, so here, from my personal collection."

He handed Luke a book, to which a light actually seemed to shine on Luke's face as he read the title aloud, "An Analysis of the Spirit World and its Influence on the Material," written by Xun Fushing, published by the University of Ba Sing Se. I don't know what to say."

"Thank you," Gordez whispered mockingly to Luke.

"Okay I know that. Thank you, General Kiu."

"Oh, but I'll ask you to return that one to me once you're done unlike the others."

Luke went red.

"What? You didn't think you were the only person here who liked to read, right? Ah I'm just messing with you. Read that one about the aftermath of Chan's conquest about 50 times already. You can keep it. Better than it gathering dust here."

Luke, still dumbfounded, said "Thank you" again, and departed with a bow, one that Gordez gave as well before they left.

"I like 'em," Kiu said to me as he joined me leaning against the external wall that, for once, I had enough faith in to put my weight against.

"You'll like all of them in time."

"Of that, I have no doubt."

It was then that one of the scouts burst into the room, the majority of the partygoers too drunk or too distracted to notice, especially as he headed right towards us. "There's been a development," he said. This one wasn't Longshot, that much was made obvious by the willingness to speak works.

"What is it?" Kiu asked. The scout looked at me, as though wondering if I should be present until Kiu validated my presence in saying, "He's one of us. Just spit it out."

"The Fire Nation exited the swamp."

Junior Lieutenant Zhao

Even in the black of night, the sea shone a bright white. I leaned over the front rail of the transport, my eyes drawn to the giver of this light-the moon-towering over us all.

The waves beat at the hull of our transport as we sped along the water surface, unusually bumpy for what should have been a calm midnight ride. But then again, when exactly had the elements been on our side throughout all of this?

I managed somehow, to find a sense of peace and serenity as the salt of the sea mist coated my face in an oddly refreshing and calming sensation, despite literally being in the heart of a hostile environment, caught between two antagonists, the moon and sea, both seemingly intent on killing us. So why didn't they just do it now? I never understood the spirits. Sometimes, they decide to play the role of an omnipotent god, intent on making our lives as miserable as humanly possible, whereas other times, it was easy to forget they existed, that they lorded over us all.

"We need to talk about what happened back there," Harzek said, moving on over next to me, his back to the rail. "We need to talk about what we're going to say during the debriefing."

The debriefing. My eyes drifted to the blockade in front of us, black figures sitting ominously on a white, blue waterline. "We tell them what happened."

"You mean the magic spirit library in the desert? Even if they do believe us, it won't accomplish anything. The Si Wong spans a third of the Earth Kingdom, at least. We don't have the resources to comb the entire thing looking for something that may not even exist."

"It exists."

"Because you saw it in a dream and some old tribal only wearing a leaf to cover his crotch said so?"

I shook my head. "What's the point of this? You've already made up your mind about me and everything I have to say."

"It's not me you're trying to convince. You're going to be put in front of the Admiral of this armada and you can damn well expect he's not going to send thousands of Fire Nation soldier into the middle of the desert on the promise of some library being out there that may or may not even help us."

"It's out there."

"Then make that clear to them. Better than you're doing right now to me because I'm not convinced."

"Why would you be? You made up your mind about me the day we met. You want me to fail."

He sighed. "Look, Zhao. I hate your guts; I think we both know that. You're conceited, vain, you think you're better than everybody else around you and, hell, maybe you are, but you think that you can trample on everybody else around you just to raise yourself to the top. That's not how this works. The Fire Nation isn't a career opportunity. It's a duty. Right now, you're only loyal to yourself. Me? I may hate you, and hell, I may even want you to fail, but I love my nation, and if this is a chance to see it come back from setback after setback, and finally get back on the right track, I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. For the sake of the Fire Nation, I hope you're right, because my loyalty is to something other than myself-to the values I believe in, and the Nation that defends them."

I didn't bother responding to that, to one who was so clearly an idealist, believing in the world to be some perfect creation that he could breeze through without having to get his hands dirty. The man was still only a lieutenant, despite having served for over a decade. Merit could only bring one so far, but without the willingness to do what had to be done, to trample on others from time to time, he'd always be stuck at the bottom. I wasn't like him. I had a future ahead of me, but even as my eyes were set on where I would be years from now, his words still struck some truth for me. Everybody, at the end of the day, was a servant to somebody else. Even the Fire Lord served his nation as much as they served him. No matter how high I go, I will always be servant to something else, be it a man, nation, or ideology. But what am I without it? A man without a cause. And what good is that?

The black behemoth of Admiral Shu's Empire-class warship grew closer and closer, and I kept Harzek's words in mind, wondering for the life of me what the hell I would say.

Harzek was completely right. No commanding officer, hell, anybody for that matter, would venture into the Si Wong desert aimless, having absolutely no idea what they were looking for. Unless you were the sandbenders. Alright, that was a lead, but just saying, "sandbenders" accomplished nothing. They were divided into numerous tribes, prowling completely different areas of the desert. To somehow manage to get the word out to the various tribes would be damn near impossible. They do however have a common accomplice: the beetle-headed merchants. Even then though, the time it would take for them to get a message back to us, much more manage to even get in contact with every tribe in the area and get the word out, but, no, why use them as the middlemen? The centuries they've spent in this area already, they themselves would have to know. Right?

The self-questioning didn't stop as we drew in closer and closer to the Ajax. If anything, they swelled. Nearby universities also like to dedicate their studies towards the desert and its ancient history. There's ought to be some professors, at the very least, graduates who would know a thing or two, right? We walked through the halls, ascending the stairway that brought us higher and higher, ever closer to the Admiral's bridge. We have mounts, scouts trained precisely for this aim. Worst case scenario, we have them search the desert. No, no, no, that would take months, maybe years. Harzek and I were told to wait in front of the door to the bridge. Oh hell no. I can't do this; I can't do this. "Relax, Zhao." Harzek said. "Fire Nation doesn't need you to stutter right now. It needs you to be decisive."

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? Why was I this nervous? It was all because of Harzek. He made me doubt myself. He was trying to sabotage me! The door opened. "The Admiral will see you now."

We entered.

No.

He had his back towards us, turned, and there he was, now facing us, expectantly. "So you've made it back. I trust you have something to report? Lieutenant Harzek"

Shit.

"Yes, sir. We were making our way through the mountains when we were met with unexpected weather conditions, namely a spontaneous maelstrom that struck our camp in the middle of the night." Spontaneous maelstrom? Sure. Anything to not say spirits. "We were separated, but for the most part, managed to rendezvous en route towards our mission location. We met some resistance along the ways, namely tribals and what seemed to be a more sophisticated unit of waterbenders, wearing acclimatized armor. We do not know the full extent of swampbender tribal involvement, having seen some signs of division between them, but we believe that a number of them are supported waterbender guerillas, and they may be aligned with the Separatists."

"Any casualties?"

"2, sir."

"And what of your primary objective?"

Fuck.

I knew he was talking to me, I swallowed. I know what happened. I don't have to be worried. I did what I was there to do. I succeeded in my mission. I learned more than what we knew before. "I believe that we may have picked up a lead."

"In terms of stopping the spirits in this area?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then go on…" Was this the part where I was supposed to recite my dreams? This wasn't going to work. No way on Earth.

I gulped, and cleared my throat, before even beginning to say, "It is widely acknowledged that the Foggy Bottom Swamp has a very strong connection with the Spirit World, known for giving visions."

"And you had one of these visions, I take it?" He got to it before I even could. He's not going to believe anything I say, is he?

"Y-yes, sir. I received visions of a temple, I mean, a great library in the Si Wong Desert. It seemed as though, there, we could find the answers we needed."

"And this is all based upon a dream that you had?"

"No-no, sir. I also questioned one who seemed to be a local shaman for the tribals. He confirmed what I asked him about whether the visions meant anything. He said they did."

"Could have just been trying to get you to leave as quickly as possible, lead you on a wild goose chase."

"I don't believe that was his intention, sir. He seemed willing to give information."

"Even if that's the case, which I doubt it is, I have to ask, what are you expecting from me? To deploy my army into the desert to search for some mysterious library. I sent you into that swamp to gain concrete information."

"And I have a lead." He looked to me. I spoke out of term. "I'm-I'm sorry, sir. I spoke out of turn."

"Yes, you did, but now that you've already done so, no point going back. What do you have to say?"

"There's other ways we can gain information. There's the sandbenders. We're not on good nor bad terms with them. They'll do anything to make a quick silver. Same with the beetle-head merchants. They know the deserts more than anybody else, and every corner of it too. We could also reach out to the nearby universities. I know Gaoling has one that focuses on the desert."

"Then you know what to do next, it already seems."

Wait. What?

"Wait, so-"

"You have permission to continue along with your investigation. Lieutenant Harzek will continue to support you. He will remain in charge of his troops, but he is instructed to provide aid wherever and however you can."

I looked over to Harzek, and while he remained silent, there was no mistaking the grimace on his face.

"I'll inform my scribe to allow you access to the messenger hawks. Get your messages out, but the rest is in your hands. And Lieutenant Harzek."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'll ask of you more details regarding them. We just captured a Separatists prisoner 2 days ago. He seems willing to cooperate. Question him and see if you can learn any information about the Separatists and these waterbender exiles. Zhao, get to work. Both of you, dismissed!"

Harzek bowed before leaving the bridge, but I stood there, for a little while longer at the very least. I was full of questions and wanted, no ,needed answers.

"P-permission to speak, Admiral?"

"Granted."

"Why?"

"Meaning?"

"Why are you allowing this to go on? We lost 2 men in that swamp, gained barebones intelligence on the enemy, and all we have regarding our primary objective is that somewhere in a desert spanning a third of the continent, there's a library where we hope we may find answers."

"Are you doubting the worth of your mission?"

"No, sir. I've seen the threat that these spirits pose to us, but I'm just confused as to why-"

"You answered your own question. The Fire Nation is at stake. Not just here in the Nip Sea, but its entire war. You've seen the maps, Zhao. Ever since Ba Sing Se, we've been losing ground. We lost nearly half of our holdings in the northern Earth Kingdom in the last 3 months. They're pushing back, and it's clear that there are forces on the other side that are going to make retaking that ground damn near impossible. Our war on this continent isn't the only thing at stake, but our survival as an island Nation surrounded by what can only be considered to be the enemy on all sides of us. We need this to work. If it doesn't, I can't tell you how long I expect us to last, let alone on this front. I don't know if this library exists, but I intend on finding out. It's the only chance we have. Do you understand that?"

"I do, sir, and thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. But complete your mission and thanks may just go the other way. Dismissed, Junior Lieutenant."

I saluted and left the room to find Harzek waiting directly in front of me. As we joined, there were a few moments of deadly silence and indecisiveness between us over who would speak first, but the moment we left earshot of the guards in front of the Admiral's door, Harzek answered the question in the air, saying, "I lost 2 of my men in that swamp. Good soldiers too. I obey my superiors, and I'll follow my orders, but if you get my men killed over some wild goose chase, I will not hesitate to chalk up your death as another casualty if it means saving my men. Is that clear?"

"You heard the Admiral's orders, lieutenant. You may not like it, but this is the way it is. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to be doing."

"Listen." I was taken aback when he now held his forearm to my throat, pinning me to the wall in a feat of strength I hadn't expected from him "You are not my superior. I never have, and never will raise my hands to a superior. I've never failed a missions before either, but I'd rather fail my mission and keep my men alive than succeed with my men dead. It would be in your best interest that you find a way to merge the two."

I scoffed, "Take the chance to raise your hands to me while you can. Unlike you, I know how this game works. If you really care about serving and obeying superiors, I suggest you start now."

"So full of yourself aren't you? I recommend you start learning that men are not so different than machines like the one in which we're standing. We obey, we're efficient, but push us to far, and here's where we differ from machines-machines break down, but you push us far enough, and we push back. Keep that in mind, Zhao. I imagine we're going to get to know each other quite well."

He released his grip on me, and made his departure. He had his objectives. Some Separatists prisoner. Me? I had my own job to do.

It was already 1 hour past midnight, but I wasn't yet ready to call it a night. I spent the next hour writing 2 separate letters. One towards the University of Gaoling, emphasizing the purely educational nature of this venture, and potential University funding that could come their way. I appealed to their two primary concerns: the quest for more knowledge, and subsidies. They may have been on opposite sides of the war, but funding was funding. I then wrote towards one towards a known associate within the beetle-merchants, promising great wealth if he provided us with what we needed. In both cases, I left the precise nature of what we were searching for vague, merely asking to set up meetings in both cases, on the request that they bring with them those who know landmarks of the desert better than anybody else. By the end of the hour, the letters were done, and sent.

I hardly slept a wink that night, the fear reeking through my body of what was in store. The next day, the replies came. Well, one came before the other, the one from the University. They informed me of an expert they actually possessed in the field who was, at the moment, quite literally in the field, working on their thesis paper. They told me that he had embarked on a quest to interview civilizations on the outer rim of the desert, but they had no idea where he was. Not an hour later, the reply came from the beetle-head merchants, and their first statement was how they possessed precisely what we needed, a University student who had been interviewing and questioning the Si Wong tribes for over 6 months. They offered to ransom him to us. 2 birds with one stone. Maybe fate wasn't as against me as I'd thought. I sent my reply telling them to come immediately, and that we'd meet them outside of Shibi. Things were finally starting to look my way.