Authors note: Ok, the moment you're waiting for. It's raining outside, the leaves are falling, which tends to mean I start feeling witchy around about now. More chapters coming.
So what happened that night? I loved writing this. Suddenly I was seventeen again and feeling it all.
It's a long one, so get yourself a cuppa and settle in. Let me know what you think, and leave a review if you're feeling generous :)

A long, thin sliver of pure icy light came flowing from the end of Nova's wand, tailing off and effervescing formlessly. A hand, clenching and unclenching, teeth gritted. A gentleman with wispy hair that rounded above his scalp like a rainbow and thin spectacles balanced on the end of a thin nose peered at her, as a quill hovering expectantly over a floating parchment waited patiently.
"Relax Miss Unthank, you have two more tries."
The examiner smiled but squinted, quite clearly looking forward to the last day of practical examinations being over. Nova nodded with a grimace, breathing deeply, looking at her wand, silently blaming it. Why couldn't she think of a happy memory?
She heard an exclamation from across the Great Hall. It was Charlie, whose welsh dragon was currently prowling the floor and blowing blue flame into the great fireplace. He punched the air in a small gesture to himself as the examiner commended him. The dragon diminished but his grin did not as he glanced around the hall to see how everyone else was getting on. Don't look at me, don't look at me, you insufferable bastard, don't look at me-
"Miss Unthank?"
She tried to relax, felt the weight of her wand in her hand, counted breaths in, out. If only she could make the examiner just give her the bloody mark with legilimens; she knew she could do it, not that she ever would, of course, but imagine a world where that would be okay...She raised her eyebrows in disbelief at herself, her desperation. Searched her memories. There was that one moment last week when it started to take form, but she'd been distracted by Nigella gawping over the dress her Mum had sent her...Still, she almost had it. Told herself she had it.
She refused to look at Charlie, knowing he'd be trying to cheer her on in some way. She focused her mind; her first day at Hogwarts, meeting Charlie, seeing the castle for the first time, let it fill her up, Polar circling around her neck in nervous anticipation, being sorted, feeling proud. Then the thought of her loneliness and sadness in her first year would come worming in, and she felt the happiness dissipate from her. "Arrrggh!"
"Miss Unthank, it's quite rare for a student your age to achieve a corporeal patronus, you really oughtn't get so-"
"I can do it! Please, just give me a second."
The examiner sighed audibly, pushing his glasses further up his nose but still somehow looking down at her. All she had to do was cast a patronus. All she had to do was think of something that made her happy, and then she was free; she could get ready for the ball, she could meet Charlie, smuggle in the bottle of firewhisky the twins had procured from Hogsmead. If it was all rubbish, they could just go down to the lake and spend some real time together. The thought of him in dress-robes, the thought of him seeing her in the dress Nigella couldn't stop stroking in admiration, of them just being together like they used to be, filled her with excitement, like electricity.
She sighed in resentment. She'd been doing her best to refuse to admit it was his being in her life that made her happiest, even down to sitting with their feet dangling off the boathouse decking, watching the sun go down as they practised charms. And then she thought of the night in the hospital wing. They'd never talked about it, but she'd felt the weight of his head on hers, had never felt so relaxed, like she belonged.
She closed her eyes and stilled her breathing, silently angry that it was this memory that was going to do it. "Expecto patronum!"
The light spilled from the end of her wand in powerful ribbons, expanding and taking the form of- of course, she thought. The white ferret that formed her patronus pranced forth and danced around the examiners heads, jumping, flipping. The sight of it filled her with joy as she directed it around the Great Hall, high into the air, a tail of light glittering away like a jet stream until it made its way back around her shoulders and faded.
There was a pause, a hiatus where the air itself held its breath, and she heard Charlie shout from across the hall, 'WOO! GO NO!"
She grinned as the examiner nodded in belligerent admiration, congratulating her as he walked away.
She puffed out her cheeks and landed on her haunches, relieved, exalted, finally allowing herself to look over towards Charlie, who jogged over grinning and pulled her up onto her feet.
"I told you you'd do it! What did you think about?"
His face was so happy, his smile so broad, he pulled her close with his signature arm as they walked out of the hall.
"I...uh, you know, first day of Hogwarts," she replied, her head ducking down.
"Really? Well, it worked! It looked just like Polar," he squeezed again and let go as they came to the stairs.
"I know it's silly, but I really can't wait to see his face when I show him," she laughed.
"Not at all. He'll probably fight him." Charlie shoved his hands at his pockets, a smile still on his face as he hovered on the first step. Nova scuffed her shoe on the stone. "So…"
"I think I'm going to go have a well deserved bath in the prefects bathroom, those exams...Glad they're done."
"Oh sure, rub in your privileges again!" Nova teased gently.
"What are Slytherin bathrooms even like? Don't you just wash in the water running down the stones?"
"Ha-ha, very good. You enjoy your bath Charlie, Merlin knows it'd be the first time you've used it this year!" Charlie laughed loudly, clutching his heart to a quick 'shh' from the examiners at the door of the Great Hall. "Argh, it hurts-"
He ascended the steps, Nova chuckling as she turned towards the stairs down to the dungeons, calling out behind her. "Don't forget to wash your hair, you bundimun!"
"-Sssssh!-"
"You're so nasty! I'm cancelling!" he shouted as she made her way down the steps to her common room.
"Not if you know what's bloody good for you Charlie Weasley!" she yelled.
"-Would you two be quiet?!-"
Nova was too busy laughing to notice the footsteps across the entrance hall before Charlie's shadow blocked out the light from behind her.
"Seriously though, what time-?"
"Eight! Entrance hall!"

Nova didn't turn around, afraid to reveal the grin on her face, letting the cool darkness cover her as she skipped down the steps.

Charlie fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeve, trying to give himself space to breath in the dress robes Bill had sent him from the Burrow; his Mother had not surprised him in knowing his exact measurements, so at least they hadn't looked too second hand when he put them on. His shoes were tight and cleaner than any pair he'd owned, the dark red robe longer than he was used to, the silver brocade around the lapels fancier than he liked, but all in all, when he looked in the mirror, he'd actually been quite impressed with himself. The robes were subtle, not too old fashioned. Bill had worn them after all.
He swallowed, feeling the collar rub up uncomfortably against his throat. People were flooding into the entrance hall, guys laughing awkwardly and girls squealing and complimenting each other. He stood deliberately half hidden beside one of the armoured statues by the main doors, avoiding eye contact with anyone in particular but glancing every now and again to the stairway down to the dungeons. It wasn't just tonight; Gryffindor had lost the Quidditch final by one point, and it still rankled him. He didn't feel too much like a failure, but he could have done without any attention for it.
He hadn't been waiting long, but it was longer than he'd like. He thought briefly of visiting Kettleburn quickly, considered going to see if Hagrid needed any help, fantasised flying freely over the stands on his broom. Anything but standing here, his housemates calling out and inviting him inside, giving him the eyebrows when he said he was waiting for someone, immediately feeling sick with the attention. Catching snitches and celebrating Quidditch wins, he could handle. Waiting in dress robes, knowing full well that walking a girl into a ball...he cringed inwardly.
Being friends with Nova was already contentious for a lot of his peers in Gryffindor, but he'd always ignored it. They were good friends, and like it or not that wasn't going to change. Turning up to a ball with her though...People were bound to ask, to make a thing of it. His skin felt hot.
He glanced at the stairway again. Undid the top button of his collar and the cuffs of his shirt, pulling up the sleeves. Breathed out heavily. That felt better. More like himself.
He wondered briefly what she'd be wearing...Looked away from the stairwell.
She always just wore jumpers, shirts, jeans. She wasn't girly like Chelsea, or any of the other Gryffindor girls who'd put themselves out in the last year for his affections. He couldn't even picture her in a dress. Or he could, but it looked sort of, warbled, and not really like her.
He glanced back at the stairwell.
A group of girls were coming up from the dungeons, dressed in black, muted greys and silver, their faces containing their glee in the way that only Slytherin girls could do. He had to admit out of all the houses, they were the coolest. And by cool, he meant frostiest, but he preferred that to the outward confidence of most of the Gryffindors. Maybe that's why he liked Nova so much. She was more inclined to shrug than giggle but when she laughed she roared.
He noticed a girl at the back of the group, wearing a long sleeved green dress the colour of the forbidden forest, with a high silver laced neck that made a kind of collar around her shoulders. Charlie was so busy looking at the dress and the body in it that he didn't realise she'd left the group and was walking straight towards him. A beautiful girl was clenching and unclenching her fists, the material around her hips swishing and hugging a figure he had done his best over the last few years to ignore.
"So...hi," Nova spoke, flaring her nostrils and biting her bottom lip, making him laugh. Charlie gazed at her. Her hair was trussed up, sort of, twisted around the front, little tendrils framing her face like smoke. Her lips were a darker pink than usual, and he noticed the way her top lip curved inwards in the middle, her face still pale and a little flushed, a freckle he hadn't noticed before. He felt as if he was really seeing her for the first time.
There was a long pause, his words were bouncing around his head like bloody snitches and he couldn't bloody catch them.
"Yeah," he said, stupidly. He could have slapped his forehead. Sure that if his Mother had been here, she would have done it for him. Why was he thinking about his Mum?
"You look really nice."
Nova blushed and made a strange noise, swinging her arms and fingering the silver lace leaves and flowers that decorated her collarbone. "Mum must have been to Diagon Alley, it's a bit much, but-"
"No, no it's not, really," Charlie smiled. He meant it. He also thought he might be sick.
"Last chance to escape," Nova gestured to the Great Hall.
He shook his head and nodded to her. "After all the effort I've made?"
She smiled brightly and turned away. He noticed a few other students quickly glance elsewhere, making surprised faces at each other. It was only when he looked back and followed her in he saw why. It was impossible not to; The back of her dress gathered around her neck but opened up into a deep cut to just above her lower back. Her skin was like an occamy egg, he had to stop his gaze going any lower. He gulped, considered undoing another button. It helped to think about snitches, the way they flitted through the air, the golden circle he'd spent his school years trying to catch, the curve of her waist and the way the fabric gathered...He loosened his collar by another button, grateful for the spectacle of the Great Hall to distract him.

Huge wildflower centrepieces, stuffed with mainly wild campion and wood sage for Slytherin colours in honour of the Quidditch win, and accented with poppies, cornflowers and buttercups to represent the other houses. Great swathes of foxgloves and sweet vernal grass separated the circular tables that had replaced the four long ones, so that the whole of the Great Hall looked like a harvest festival; huge sunflowers and melons, gigantic bowls of strawberries and raspberries on the tables, great tall jugs of sparkling, fizzy light, plates of honeycomb and sweet pastries, great dishes of salads and edible flowers. There were more candles he'd ever seen suspended in the air, everything surrounding an open floor that had been charmed to look like deep starlight. He saw Flitwick looking quite proud of himself, and Dumbledore hovering suspiciously by the large punchbowl that seemed to fizz and spark on the teachers table. The setting sun outside was casting shafts of subdued light through the windows, the sky a dark wash of pinks and purples, so the Great Hall felt warm and twilit.
"I've never seen the Hall like this," he said, the swell of voices and music rising as more people joined the crowds. The feeling in the room was infectious. He soon felt more relaxed that nobody was staring at him because they were so busy staring at each other. They found a table towards the wall, away from the gaze of the teachers, both subconsciously choosing a sensible distance from the dance floor.
Nova sat down with a small harrumph, smiling shyly at him. She obviously felt just as weird as he did.
"I'll go get something to...Did Fred give you-?"
Nova turned mysterious, gave him an exaggerated wink and pointed at a small bag she carried. Her face changed quickly to a frown.
"Seriously though, you should be worried about those twins."

When Charlie got back with the drinks, they made a concerted effort to down the punch and pour the tentative measures of Firewhisky into their empty goblets without being seen, and a doubly concerted effort to not choke on the potency of it. The tension loosened like a taut rope between them as they laughed and Nova coughed, small sparks emitting from her mouth.
"Merlins hole!" she gasped, wiping her chin, swilling her glass thoughtfully for a moment. "I like it!"
Charlie looked around carefully but they were suitably covered by the moving bodies of the other students, who were already pulling each other awkwardly on the dance floor. He topped them up and nodded towards Dumbledore, who was shimmying slightly to the music playing across the hall. "I think he's already tiddled,"
Nova giggled. "I think you're right."
They sat sipping carefully until the burn in his throat lessened and his body felt a bit lighter.
"I'm warning you now, I'm not dancing," Charlie nodded over at the crowd. Nova leaned her chin on her hand and faced him, smirking. Her face really was nice, like the moon.
"Absolutely not. Nothing would make me cringe more than dancing with you."
About an hour later (Charlie had stopped noticing the movement of time and more the way Nova's body tensed and curled when she laughed so raucously, so it had been a surprise to him to find night had fallen outside), Tonks had joined them at their table, caught up with some firewhisky, and all three of them were howling like werewolves at some of the dance moves of their peers. Tonks was dragging Nova, who dug her heels in, to the floor, while Charlie looked on helplessly.
"No, absolutely not, do not, no, Tonks-" Nova resisted, and reached out her hand to Charlie to assist in the abduction towards the dance floor, her face desperate, her eyes pleading for his assistance all the while grinning. Maybe it was the firewhisky, but he had the sudden realisation that there wasn't much he wouldn't do for her. He took her hand and did a terrible job of resisting until all three were dragged mercilessly to the dance floor by a girl whose hair changed colours along with the trouser-suit she had enchanted. Before he knew it, Charlie was standing in the thickest part of the crowd, elbows thrusting and hips turning, Tonks waving her hands in the air and beckoning them to do the same. Charlie only realised he was still holding Nova's hand when she put her face in her other, not letting go. Charlie looked about self consciously, the room swirling a little, having to squint his eyes. He looked down at his hand in hers, fingers intertwined, watched them disconnect abruptly as Tonks pulled Nova towards her in a hug and moved her limbs for her. Nova bellowed a laugh that seemed to belie her self-consciousness. Nova uncoiled like a snake that was previously ready to attack, and he watched nervously, laughing at them both who now pretended they were puppets.
Charlie started to wonder if he'd had too much Firewhisky. The floor felt like it was warping, his head hot, everything blurring like a charms lesson. He glanced back at the table, worried they'd left the Firewhisky sitting there, but on second look Nova's bag was swinging around her body as Tonks pulled her further into the crowd. Nova glanced behind her, trying to grab him, but he was accosted by some guys from Hufflepuff who shouted about the quidditch final over the music, only to extricate himself into a crowd of Slytherins who made a series of hidden compliments about his flying in the manner of insults. He shook them off, dipping and twisting through the bodies to find his friends again, and finding himself face to face with Nigella, who was dancing with a girl he struggled to remember the name of.
"Oh, hi, have you seen-"
Nigella smirked, but there was a lightness in her eyes she didn't usually reserve for him. It eased his nerves only a little. She nodded behind her, deeper into the throng. "Tonks pulled her that way."
He craned his neck, but couldn't see Tonks' head. He looked back at Nigella, closing one eye in an attempt to focus better.
"Thanks. You...having a good time?"
Nigella laughed and yelled over the music into his ear. "Yeah! How about you? Nova looks amazing, doesn't she? She was really nervous you know, thought you'd never go with her!"
Charlie had rubbed at a burning earlobe. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Charlie! Don't be stupid! The only people who don't think you guys are good together are you and Nova!" Nigella yelled again, raising her eyebrows. She shook her head, laughing and resumed dancing closely with the girl he remembered was called Poppy. The music had become impossibly loud, and he was at the centre of it, and everyone was watching him, and everyone knew. He blew out a long breath, feeling his stomach rise like a wave. Nigella turned around after Poppy pointed back at Charlie.
"Relax, it's not a big deal! Have another shot of firewhisky, and go do what you should have done two years ago!" Nigella pushed him away, not unkindly, and he half smiled, turning around to see Tonks now dancing behind Nova and pushing her hips in the alternate direction to her own. Nova was grinning, her smile reaching her eyes in that rare way again. The world moved around him, someone pushed into him, he was pulled another way, but his eyes never left her. The wave inside his stomach felt as though it might break, his smile slowly disappeared as his mouth turned impossibly dry; it was like the shadow between everyone's bodies thickened. He wanted to move closer, he wanted to, her smile was so wide, but he was rooted to the spot. She was having such a good time. What was he going to do? Stand uselessly? Dancing wasn't his thing...was it? The thought of taking her hand again made his clammy, the thought of anything more, in this massive crowd, thrilled him, made his throat close tight, and he was suddenly, just so …

He turned around, ducked through the crowds, and walked out through the wide open doors of the Great Hall and out into the night with his head down, taking down great lungfuls of warm summer air.

Nova's eyes were closed, she was laughing and dancing, she spun around, her hands high in the air. She'd never felt like this, in her whole life. For once, she wasn't thinking about anyone else in the room. She'd aced her exams, she felt beautiful, Charlie had, against all odds, accompanied her. He had looked so handsome; everyone else tidy and buttoned up and Charlie, with his sleeves pushed up and his hair tousled, and the look in his eyes when he saw her-

Where was Charlie? She opened her eyes and glanced around. Tonks had danced herself into a different circle and couldn't hear Nova when she called out to her. The faces around her blurred a little, she thought she saw Flitwick crowd surfing out of the corner of her eye. Squinting, she searched for a flash of red hair in the low light, her smile fading. She edged through the crowds, a little breathless, her guard down, everyone's guard down, and suddenly feeling the edges of everyone's emotions and thoughts barrage her out of nowhere as she struggled past. She got to the edge of the throng, relieved for only a moment to find their table empty save for goblets littering the shimmering tabletops. The music was being drowned out to the sound of thoughts and squeals and flashes of images, she had to sit down. She decided to wait and see if Charlie would find her, grabbing a spare glass of water someone had left. He'd probably gone to the bathroom. She wiped her mouth, steadying her breath, the pressure of other people's delight ebbing slightly as she did so.
It was another ten minutes before the exhilaration had started to wear off, and Charlie still hadn't come back. She watched everyone as they laughed and danced, and cried and kissed and hugged, alone at the table. Tonks was lost in the crowd. That was the only problem with Tonks; she was impossible to pin down. It wasn't that she didn't care, she just joyfully followed her instincts, and it often left people behind in her wake.
Twenty minutes had gone by when Nova's hands started clenching, a horrible feeling of unwanted emotions building in her chest. She thought of finding Nigella, but she was too busy having a good time with Poppy, and she didn't want to be the awkward third wheel. Nigella deserved to have a nice time. She sighed to herself. The whole deal of coming here with Charlie was they wouldn't have to suffer it alone.
Then she thought, if she were Charlie, where would she be?

Nova stomped down the steps from the courtyard before she really thought about what she'd do when she found him. Soft green orbs that fluttered like fireflies highlighted the path down towards the lake. She pulled her dress up, not wanting to rip it after her parents spent so much money on it; she really had felt so beautiful when she'd looked at herself in the mirror. Nigella had twisted her hair up around her face, raised her eyebrow in that way she did; 'Charlie literally won't have a clue what to do with himself.' That was probably true. He'd ran from the Great Hall after all, or so she believed.
Her heart raced as she passed students kissing, another student crying, another group passing around a bottle that sounded like Gigglewine, their chuckles rising into the air and mingling with the sounds from the castle. She tried to steady her breathing, that he had just abandoned her, sitting alone like a sad case...She huffed down to the grass and pulled her shoes off, feeling the dew of dusk under her feet, and made her way down to the pier. There he was, sitting at the end, or at least, the silhouette outlined by the bright, full, summer moon looked a lot like him. Sitting there like he'd done nothing wrong. He was floating lots of small objects across the lake in strange patterns. It was only as she got closer that she recognised the vague shape of a dragon in the moonlit air. All the fire went out of her. She opened her mouth, closed it, sighing, padded towards the end of the pier, the slats of wood smooth under her feet. He either didn't hear her, or was avoiding looking up at her. The small objects he was floating were cornflakes.
"I was looking for you," she said abruptly, still holding her dress up above her ankles.
"Sorry...It all just got a bit-"
"-So you just left me?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to...You looked like you were having fun, I didn't want to spoil it," his speech was a little slurred as he started on another stream of cornflakes.
"Charlie, after all this time, how do you not know I'd rather be here doing this, than in a room full of people that don't know me?"
Nova sat down with a huge sigh, oddly enough not regretting being so open, bunching the dress around her knees and checking the decking wasn't damp. She let her feet float close to the water, feeling the breeze wisp around her ankles from across the loch. Charlie watched her dolefully, taking her shoes and placed them behind him. He passed her a handful of cornflakes and gazed back across the still surface of the lake.
"I think that's why I bailed," he said quietly.

Nova's heart lurched, her brain turned soft like a cloud. Her words came out before she thought about the consequences of them. "You've been bailing on me for a while."
Charlie looked at her, his exhalations heavier than usual, as if catching his breath was more of an effort than usual. "What are you talking about?"
Nova pulled her wand awkwardly from her bag, her other hand still holding the stupid cornflakes, and started floating them across the lake in a weak effort to tempt Beastie from the depths. "I'm not having a go, Charlie, but be honest, you've done a really good job of avoiding me recently."
"Wait-wait," Charlie shook his head. "How was this turned from...I've had fun, honestly, I know I'm not...I haven't been...But can we not-"
"Ok, ok. I just…" Nova felt her breath stir in her chest, feeling an odd combination of numbness and heat. "I really hate not seeing you. I don't get it, sometimes it's all good, but recently...it's like you can't even look me in the eye...like you'd rather be anywhere but...I just feel better when you're around. Maybe that's the selfish snake in me."
A silence that rivalled that of the loch stretched between them for moment after moment, the meaning of the words undoing themselves and reconfiguring again in the confusing mass that was Charlie's brain.
The cornflakes fell on the surface of the lake as Nova let her wand fall to her lap and sighed, the sensation of tears burning the back of her throat. Or was it the firewhisky?

"No, I really, please...I like...that's not it...I'm just...confused," Charlie mumbled, turning his wand over in his hand. The words felt like jam in his mouth but it felt good to say them out loud.
Out of nowhere though, Nova started laughing, a bright chuckle that escaped her, turning into a bit of a bellow so that Charlie was taken by surprise. She buried her face in her hands. When she looked up at his bewildered face, tears were in her eyes.
Okay, they were both drunk then. He laughed nervously.
"What?!'
"You think you're the only one? Merlin's tits, Charlie, I've been-" Nova snorted, had begun hiccuping, "-going crazy over here!"
Charlie laughed, grabbing her wand before it rolled into the lake. "Be careful!"
"Oops, hic, I just thought it was me...when you said you'd rather be with a friend than a girl, hic... And I didn't even know if I disagreed...It's so silly."
Nova wiped her eyes, sighing, resting back on her hands. She gazed across the lake towards the mountains, her laughter petering out to a chuckle. "Hic...So silly."
She wasn't being silly, not really. He knew he'd been feeling exactly the same way, for a while, and never acted on it, because to risk their friendship for something he wasn't even sure about...well. It wasn't worth it.
But looking at her now, tucking her chin into her shoulder, her feet swishing back and forth, her body rocked by each hiccup. It made him grin. Her back curved like a crescent moon, the moonlight shone a silvery light on her face and the textures of her dress. It was easier when he thought of her as a creature to study.
He blew his breath out, looking at his feet.
"You look really beautiful."

Nova smiled to herself, looking away, feeling weird, feeling happy, feeling like she could say or do anything now and it didn't matter. For once, she wasn't thinking about anything later than now.
She nudged his shoulder with hers, chanced looking at him. "See? It doesn't have to be hard."
He smirked, his eyes looking darker in the light, seeming to reason with himself. For once, he didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. "It's not weird?"
"Telling your friend she looks nice when hic -damnit- she so clearly does?" she teased.
Charlie gazed at her, serious all of a sudden. His eyes fell towards her shoulders, her body, her back. Her breath hitched in her throat as he raised his hand, painfully slowly, as if he were trying to stop himself. She found the hiccups paused in anticipation as his hand passed beyond her sightline, and she held her breath.
What are you doing what are you doing but I want to
Charlie had no concept of tomorrow, or of later on. Everything had narrowed to just this moment. It was like his body was a broom and the broom was flying where it wanted. His thoughts were silent. He knew it should have been weird, or at least, had expected it to be, but his limbs felt like water, his head as clear as the lake on a good day, and he was just swimming, and everything was alright, because even if it was weird, it made sense. In this moment, there was nothing yelling no, nothing pulling him back, nobody watching. He still couldn't look at her though, not directly, so he just stared at the curve of her back as he watched his hand reach out independently of his body and tenderly brush her skin, something like dragon fire rushing through his veins. His fingertips traced the vertebrae of her spine, as if he were studying the wings of a dragon. For once, he was just absolutely concerned with her form, and nothing else. She was soft, and the small tiny hairs on her skin raised at his touch.
"Is this weird?"
His fingertips felt a little rough, but she didn't mind. She shook her head, compressing a shiver.
She just couldn't read him, his eyes had gone blank, like when he was flying, or studying something with Kettleburn. She wasn't even sure if he could hear her. She took the opportunity to look at his face, it being so close. Freckles peppering every atom of his skin so he almost looked completely tanned, his long, reddish blonde eyelashes, the wide smiling face she'd grown up with that had grown into something stronger and assured. Noticed his mouth in more detail, the odd hair he'd missed shaving around the corners. Something flipped in her belly, thinking of the boy she'd met on this very lake years ago, to the young man in front of her, his eyes on her back, still, as he traced his fingers up and down her spine. Her stomach felt warm.
He glanced up at her, seemed to wake from his reverie, and slowly and thoughtfully tucked a hair behind her ear.

"Not weird?"
"I don't know...I don't mind it, I don't think," she said in a small voice.
There was a moment, crystalline and shining, that he might have kissed her, that he looked unashamedly into her eyes, but it cracked under the pressure, and his hand returned to his lap and his gaze out to the lake, a soft smile on his face.
What was he thinking? What was going on in that brain? If there had been a moment, that should have been it! The thought of just, extending her reach, just a tendril of enquiry, tempted her in a way it had never before. The lines between what was right and wrong seemed to blur, and what remained was the naked curiosity that couldn't be quelled. She hiccuped again, shaking herself, not for the first time that day, holding fast to her resolve, knowing to do anything less was a path she didn't want to go down. But patience wasn't her strong suit.

Charlie stared ahead over the water, gathering momentum. The moment was there, in his head, he just surged forward, he did it, and then he thought, what if it was rubbish? What if she realised it was weird? What if it was, for both of them, and they could never be friends again?
"Charlie?"
He turned towards her. She'd pulled out the firewhisky from her bag and shook the bottle at him.
"Sure, why not?"
They both took a swig from the bottle, more numb to its strength than before, blowing the smoke from their mouths in soft plumes, a little less wound up than before, too.
"Do you think you like me? As in…" Nova fiddled with the bottle, doing her best to seem casual. Charlie gulped. "...More than…"
The hot sensation of the firewhisky sent hot tendrils through his stomach and down into his extremities. "Do you?"
Nova smiled, inhaled deeply. "I asked you first."
Charlie just looked at her. Did he have to say it? Did he know how?
The moment stretched, bent and warped. He was pulled in by it, pushed away by it, her eyes dark, they were just shapes on the end of a dock, and after they'd have to walk away, back to the castle where the faint waves of music were rippling outwards, and then what? Do they start holding hands? Would everyone make a thing of it? He'd have nowhere to go if it didn't work out, nobody to talk to. She was his only real friend, he was bound to-
And then her lips brushed his, softly, decidedly, like an exploration of the senses rather than a kiss. Frozen, feeling her warm breath on his mouth, eyes open, her eyelashes tickling his cheek. He met her lips with his, not sure if it was because he wanted to or that it'd be rude not to, but in another narrowing of focus, it didn't seem to matter, in the grand scheme of things. He suddenly couldn't think of anything else than her mouth on his, anything he wanted more than to keep feeling that sensation. He closed his eyes, applying a little more pressure, feeling her exhalation on his face, and then he felt the soft warmth of her inner lips on his, and his hand, knowingly and unknowingly, reached up to her back, feeling the prickling of a shiver on her skin, and felt that fire spread through him again, and something quickened, his resolve hardening...

Nova watched his eyes close and met him there in that dark space so she could only feel his lips, the very light stubble around his mouth, thrilled, happy, excited. His nose pushed against hers, a little cold at the end, the softness of his face against hers, and knew, in that unlocking, that it wasn't weird, this felt too right. She felt him kiss back, and she responded. She felt them both relax, their minds emptying, and there was an opening, a further unlocking, where her guard weakened, her mind reached across and she blindly felt his cautiousness, his enjoyment, his relief, and a rush of blood. It was only when she sensed a firm resistance, and all she felt was her own emotions again, that she'd realised what she'd done, and they both pulled away at the same time.
Charlie shuffled, arranging his dress-robe, looking at her with furrowed brows. Nova looked at him in what felt like the same way, knowing even without legilimens that he felt ashamed. Even in the dark, past his freckles, she could see him blushing.
"What did you just do?" he asked.
A memory from her first year came hurtling back to her, and shame swept over her too like a shroud.
"I didn't mean-"
"You can't do that, to me-"
"I know, I'm sorry, I...Wait, do you know Occlumency?"

Charlie looked down, feeling the anger emanating from him and crawled to get up, fidgeting with his bloody robe. "Nova, it's just...I can't believe-"
"Where are you going?"
"I don't think...I don't want to do this."
Nova's face fell, became stony, then she narrowed her eyes, and he knew he was in for it.
"Do you know Occlumency?!"
He tried not to fidget, but it was in his blood. "It's not nice having someone in your head, it's embarrassing, it's-"
"Did you learn because of me?" Nova asked, a voice too low and creaking not to break.
"Look, it's not that I don't trust you-"
"If you trusted me Charlie, you wouldn't have learned it,"
"And how was I supposed to know you wouldn't use it on me?" he asked recklessly, looking down at her. He saw the hurt on her face, her voice barely a whisper.
"Because I'm your best friend."

Charlie felt so upset about this, that his only reaction was anger. Anger at himself, anger that he was so insecure, so scared all of the time. "But you used it! Just now! Don't you know how much of an idiot that makes me feel?"
"Oh yes, your life is just so difficult," Nova spoke bitterly, grabbing her wand from his hand. He'd forgotten he'd been holding it. She stood up, facing him.
"What exactly does that mean?"
Nova groaned and threw her arms in the air. "What does that mean? What do you mean? I can't possibly understand what you mean! Charlie, you know exactly what we all bloody mean but you're too lazy to say it yourself! Perfect prefect, quidditch captain, I don't know anyone who doesn't like you, but you're always asking, always the victim,"
The heat hit his face like a full fire. "Victim? Nova you've been feeling sorry for yourself since we started at Hogwarts! You isolate yourself from everyone! You complain you never see me but you don't make the effort for anyone but yourself! Look at your dress Nova, it's brand new. I live in a bloody ramshackle of a-"
"Oh it's so hard being pureblood, it's so hard being so noble! At least I try with the people who try with me, Charlie, it just so happens everyone else thinks I'm a freak!" Nova's voice finally broke and tears spilled from her eyes, her breath puffing in and out as if it was the last thing she wanted to do than to let him see her cry.
"Maybe that's because they don't trust you."
The words left his mouth before he could stop himself. He didn't mean it that way. Her face was heartbroken. But he felt betrayed, wasn't his anger justified too?
Their grievances hung stubbornly in the air between their defences like fire smoke. Nova sobbed in the sticky summer air. She glanced up at the castle where there was cheering and the faint sound of music. Her face twisted, speaking in a broken whisper, her hand clenched tightly around her wand. "I was having a really good time."

If he hadn't occluded his thoughts, what would she have seen?
"How far would you have gone?"
"Charlie, I told you, I didn't do it on purpose, I just lost focus-"
She was really crying now, he had to keep looking elsewhere. "If that's what'd happen every time we'd...Then it's obviously not such a good idea, is it?"
"Are you serious?"
"Serious about what?"
Nova rolled her eyes so heavily that he felt as if the earth moved. She sighed as if that had been a chance he'd completely missed. "You wouldn't even let me try?"
Charlie knew it wasn't just the Legilimens. When he thought about...trying, and whatever that meant, he felt sick, his mouth dried up, he felt so suddenly exhausted and sick that the idea of hiding in the corner of the prefects bathroom where nobody could bother him, ever, seemed more appealing than anything, but blaming the Legilimens...felt easier.
"It's not a good idea. You know it isn't."
Nova's hand clenched ever tighter around her wand, Charlie unsure if she was begging or threatening him. "I would never, ever, use it on you. I promise."
"It doesn't matter," he shook his head, starting to turn away.
"So why did you kiss me back?!"

Years later, when he recalled that moment, he'd imagine he turned back around, held her hand, reassured her, promised that even if it wasn't a great idea now, maybe he could work through his fear one day, and even if that day never happened, they'd always be friends, and nothing else mattered. That even though he felt hurt and embarrassed, and a fool, it didn't matter as long as they were friends, because he knew deep down that she would never truly hurt him. I'm always your friend. Even if it gets weird.

And even now, having grown a beard, muscle mass, a vague collection of experiences with women that never quite amounted to anything at all, facing down deadly creatures every day, the lesson that vulnerability was strength was hard-taught. Nova had always been vulnerable, had, despite her downfalls (that were more similar to his than anyone else's), always loved those closest to her. Recalling that memory in the clarity of what he'd learned, of what his Dad told him, was like looking in a freshwater pool, and seeing everything clearly for the first time. It didn't feel good.

Instead, Charlie Weasley would watch his biggest Horntail look at him threateningly over a cluster of eggs, smoke curling from nostrils the size of a fireplace, with little to no fear, and recall how he said nothing, nothing at all, because he was scared of letting his guard down for another person. He'd remember how he'd imagined the Sanctuary where he could hide, promise himself just one more year, and he could avoid her forever, playing the scene over and over in his head, even as he reached the steps back to the castle. Convincing himself that he was doing the right thing. He knew now, watching the Horntail tense and build flame in the back of her throat, that he had done the easier thing. It wasn't his trust that had to be won, it was hers, and he had betrayed her completely by walking away, leaving her with nothing but a pile of cornflakes.