Today's post is another one that's 99% emotional whump. Disclaimer - I promise I like Shiro...at least season 1 and 2 Shiro. It's Kuron, or whatever you want to call his clone, that I like to make the bad guy.

Day 12 - Broken Trust

Warnings: emotional abuse, non-graphic mention of pre-existing injuries, death mention, referenced child abuse, metaphoric gore

It started off small.

"Backseat team leading", was how Lance had referred to it. He had actually sounded pretty concerned, despite his joking tone, and Keith had appreciated it, he really had. There had been a time not that long ago when Lance would have been making fun of him for getting his ideas shot down. The change in their relationship was not something he was going to take for granted.

But it wasn't that big of a deal, and he told Lance as much. Shiro had always been a better team leader than he would ever be, no matter how much he had improved since the start. Yes, the way he was going about this was a little...aggravating, but Keith had always been too easily aggravated and was trying to get better at that.

And yeah, it hurt a little, having his plans ridiculed. But that was just his ego getting bruised, so he could ignore that, too.

Mostly it was just surprising. After all, Shiro had been the one to insist he should lead, and he had always been so supportive of him no matter what he tried to take on. So he had expected a bit more support, a bit less...usurping.

He couldn't fault Shiro for it, though. If he had been rejected by his Lion, he'd probably be feeling the need to insert himself wherever he could, too. That had to have hurt. Plus he had just gotten back from being captured by the Galra again, and that was bound to change a person.

In the end, the truth was that he needed the guidance, however forcefully it was given. Shiro was always right.

What bothered him a little more was when Shiro started to take issue with his Blade missions. Everyone was taking issue with his Blade missions, actually, and that was reasonable. His attention was divided, he knew that.

It was just that Voltron had lately become more advertisement and relief efforts than anything else, while the Blade was still out there actually fighting the Empire. Both were important. He knew that. But he felt more useful when he was with the Blades. Putting on shows and interacting with Coalition members was not his forte. He was a fighter. That's what he did best.

Plus, there was the added benefit of getting to know more about his Galra roots, which he would never use as an excuse to the others, especially Allura, but it was true. He would never ever tell them that part of his reason for being with the Blades was to hopefully learn something about his mother. That would just be seen as selfish, and maybe it was.

He'd thought Shiro would be the one to understand all of that, though. Shiro always seemed to know everything that was going through his head without him having to say it. Or at least, the old Shiro had. This Shiro either didn't know, or...or didn't care.

"Where were you today?"

Keith stopped short, blinking in exhaustion at the man who was standing with crossed arms outside his bedroom door. Waiting for him. Waiting to interrogate him before he could retreat to nurse his wounds in the safety of his bed.

"Blade mission."

He could have sworn that Shiro nearly rolled his eyes at the obvious answer. The old Shiro never rolled his eyes unless it was at a lame joke. "Was it important?"

If it wasn't important, then why would I have gone? "I...yeah. There was this intel -"

Shiro held up a hand to stop him. The old Shiro never interrupted him. Not when it had taken over a month for Keith to speak more than a few words to him.

"We needed you on Olkarion today."

"Did…did the supply hand out not go well?"

"It went fine." The answer was curt. "But another set of hands would have made it go much better."

Keith just stared blankly for a long moment, a hundred thoughts flying through his head.

He wanted to say, you had six people plus all of the Olkari.

He wanted to say, all you were doing was handing out boxes.

He wanted to say, the intel we got could potentially free another entire planet.

He wanted to say, why don't you want me to be where I'm actually the most helpful?

He wanted to say, I almost died today.

But instead, he licked his chapped lips, stared down at the floor, and said, "I'm sorry."

Shiro sighed heavily. It was his disappointed sigh, the one the old Shiro only ever used when he got into fights or sassed his teachers. "I don't understand you lately. You're the leader of Voltron, but we can't even count on you to show up for something as simple and important as giving relief to survivors."

He wanted to say, am I the leader? Because I don't feel like I've been allowed to do much leading.

He wanted to say, I promise you can count on me to show up when I'm actually needed.

He wanted to say, I don't understand you lately, either.

"I'll try to do better."

Shiro straightened, leaving his arms crossed. "Yeah." His tone was dry and cold in a way that the old Shiro's never was. "You need to."

Then he turned on his heel and left, without a goodnight, without a smile, without acknowledging the way that Keith was obviously favoring his left leg and hugging one arm to himself.

It hurt.

But he was right. He needed to be there for his team.

Shiro was always right.

There wasn't anyone else in the universe that he would say that about. But he believed it about Shiro, because Shiro had earned it. Keith didn't trust anybody when they met, kids or adults, but Shiro was the only person who had ever bothered sticking around long enough to actually convince Keith he was different. He believed in him, which was a first. He allowed him to have opinions and feelings and to share them without fearing he would be belittled. He looked past the "problem child" exterior and found the boy hiding underneath.

So eventually, after a long, long time of working on opening up, Keith decided that he believed whatever Shiro had to say. All of his advice had been good, however loathe he had been to admit that at first. In the end, he had started going to Shiro for his opinions on almost everything, and that led after an even longer while to going to him when he needed to talk about other, more personal things.

Shiro knew things about him that no one else knew, things that as far as Keith was concerned, no one else would ever know. He had earned that. Keith trusted him.

Which is why he was too stunned at Shiro's outburst during group training to even feel the hurt to begin with.

"Keith. You have to protect your teammates. Just because you grew up being used as a punching bag by all your foster parents doesn't mean that the rest of us are used to getting beat up."

The room dropped into dead silence. Keith's heart was pounding so fast it was all he could hear or feel.

Nobody was supposed to know about his past. Shiro knew that. Nobody had even been told that he was a foster kid, and that's the way Keith wanted it to stay. Shiro knew that.

"Um...Shiro?" It was Lance that finally spoke up, because of course it was. "I...um...think...maybe...that kind of thing is...something Keith should tell us? If he...wanted to, you know?"

But no, he shouldn't be questioning Shiro. Shiro was their leader, and Shiro was always right. There had to be some good reason for him to be breaking Keith's confidence at that moment...right?

It didn't feel like there was a good reason.

It felt like someone had reached in and ripped his intestines out and left a big, gaping hole.

Half the team was gaping at him, the other half at Shiro. No one else seemed to know what to say.

That is, until Allura spoke up. Allura, of all people, who had hated him not that long ago and still sometimes regarded him warily.

"Erm, yes. I...feel that was out of line, Shiro."

"Hm?" Shiro looked genuinely surprised, as if he had no clue what he had even done. No clue that Keith was standing there gutted, waiting for either himself or the rest of the room to crumble into dust.

Because this couldn't be real. Shiro couldn't possibly have just said what he said.

"Oh, yeah. I guess you're right. Sorry, Keith."

But he wasn't.

He wasn't.

The apology was thrown flippantly in his direction, no eye contact, no sincerity. The old Shiro didn't apologize like that. The old Shiro would have been begging for his forgiveness as soon as he realized his mistake, with careful hands on his shoulders and maybe even tears in his eyes.

The old Shiro cared.

Suddenly Keith wasn't sure whether any of this had to do with his time with the Galra and his Lion's rejection. Those things couldn't make a person turn their back on a friend, a brother...could they?

Maybe he had done something to earn Shiro's hatred.

Maybe Shiro had never actually loved him to begin with.

He was turning and leaving the room before he fully realized what he was doing, but the cries of his name didn't stop him. Not even the knowledge that he was disappointing Shiro, again, stopped him.

He didn't care anymore. Or at least that's what he told himself.

Shiro wasn't always right.

A/N: Poor Keith. Let me know what you think! And btw, I know this site doesn't like to give notifications for private messages, so just letting you guys know that I've been answering all reviews via pm. If you've left me a review and haven't seen a reply, check your messages! I appreciate each and every one!