xiii. dancing with a stranger

(song by sam smith)

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Abbie called her that morning and finding it weird that it was so early, Nina hesitated before deciding to be brave and pick it up. She regretted it instantly once she realized what day it was. She almost felt her heart break when she heard Abbie speak, sounding like she was close to tears, and she couldn't keep herself from crying quietly on the other side of the phone. Today was her and Jake's third wedding anniversary. If she closed her eyes, Nina could remember the day so vividly that it felt like it happened yesterday. But she didn't want to remember. Not now, not like this. Today she wanted to forget.

"Can you call him?" Abbie asked her on the phone with a small voice, Nina stayed quiet for a long while before breathing out what she felt.

"I wouldn't know what to say."

They hung up shortly after. Talking to Abbie, especially today, just made Nina more aware of how selfish and cowardly she really was and she couldn't handle it for much longer. After a ridiculously long shower, because she couldn't stop crying and didn't want to get out and cry all over again without the water to wash it off her face, she got dressed slowly and tried to talk herself out of feeling miserable.

"I'm not gonna let this be one of those days." She mumbled to herself as she left her apartment.

She walked into the hospital trying to be positive, thinking happy thoughts and wondering what she could do to make herself think less of Jake and his stupid fucking blue eyes. It was not an easy task and she wasn't exactly being successful, something that the deep scowl on her face could confirm.

"Good morning, Nina." She heard from behind her as she stopped to wait for the elevator, and looked back startled to find Derek with a cup of coffee and a small smile.

"Hey." She tried to smile back but the way his face scrunched up showed she didn't do a very good job.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." She cleared her throat and tried to smile reassuringly. "Just miss my mentor, I guess." She decided to tease him, only to make him focus on something else truthfully.

"Oh." He frowned, the elevator stopping so they could go inside. "I'm really sorry, you know. I wish I could still have time for our lessons." Derek sounded very remorseful and it made her feel bad for bringing it up.

"It's alright." She shrugged. "I get you're busy…" She smiled at him. "I'm just being selfish." She giggled. "It's what I do best." She finished with a whisper to herself, hoping he wouldn't hear it.

"I really hope you're not mad at me…" He continued with a sad little smile. "I made a huge deal when you didn't want me as a mentor, only to turn around and leave you." The two laughed slightly at his honest words.

"Hey, as long as you're happy." She grinned and he rolled his eyes, the elevator stopping at their floor and the two walking out.

"Yeah, if only I was..." He confessed with a sigh.

"Eh. Happiness is overrated anyway." Nina told him with a roll of her eyes, the two laughing at how bitter they both sounded before walking their separate ways to start their day.

Desperately trying to distract herself from her own thoughts, Nina decided to run straight to the pit after changing into her scrubs. She figured that even if there was no major traumas coming in and she had to do sutures all day long, it'd still be enough not to let her mind wander to where it wanted to go. She was only there for a little more than an hour when Callie called her up, saying there was a big trauma coming in and that she wanted her.

Their patient was Nick Kelsey, who alongside two friends had the idiotic idea to go skiing off a helicopter right into an avalanche. Needless to say, he was severely injured; with fractures to his hip and left tibia, along with a dislocated ankle.

"I need to reduce this ankle dislocation." Callie said to the room of doctors also checking on him. "Give him 10 of morphine."

"I need to treat his frostbite." Mark added as he inspected the patient's hand. "Nick, you like the tips of your fingers?"

"Yes, please."

"You jumped out of a helicopter on skis?" Jackson asked sounding completely astonished on the other side of the patient.

"Yeah. You can't get powder like that anywhere else." At least, the guy was still in high spirits; Nina thought to herself.

"I'm seeing fluid around your kidney." Dr. Webber informed the patient next. "We're gonna need to do a C.T. of your abdomen."

"Do what you gotta do." The patient smiled. "Me and the guys are running with the bulls in Pamplona next year. Gotta be up on my feet." Nina shook her head slightly at how the man still planned on continuing with his crazy adventures. "Hey, Phil!" He called out suddenly, seeing his friend being wheeled in. "Tell those doctors they need to fix you up so you can run with the bulls next year."

By lunchtime, Nina had devised a plan to get the man with the bluest eyes out of her mind. It was pretty simple actually, she wanted to go clubbing, drink and dance the night away, flirt with hundreds of men if possible and hopefully get a one night stand out of the whole ordeal. You know what they say, the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else.

"You and I." Nina said as soon as she sat down on the table they always shared, Miles, Leo and Sarah already there. "Trinity, tonight." She finished her train of thoughts, looking at Sarah in specific.

"Can't." Sarah bit her lip as she shook her head. "You know that guy from my gym, Luke? We're going out tonight."

"Is this the guy who grunts loudly when he looks at himself in the mirror?" Miles asked with a teasing smile at the piece of information Sarah had shared a few weeks back.

"He's really nice." Sarah defended with a roll of her eyes. "Besides, I haven't dated anyone in a while… Can't exactly be picky."

"No." Nina interrupted before Miles could respond, shaking a finger at him to shut up. "If you're dating, who am I supposed to go clubbing with?"

"Hmm..." Leo called the two girl's attention. "What are we?" He gestured to Miles and him. "Two sacks of potatoes?"

"You're dudes." Nina pointed it out like they didn't know it. "Would you approach a woman when she has two bodyguards by her side?" She questioned sarcastically and they frowned. "Didn't think so."

"What!" Sarah squealed as she understood the undertone of the invite then. "What, are you like… Trying to attract a guy?"

"Yeah." Nina only shrugged, ignoring her friend's surprise.

"What about swearing off men?" Miles teased her.

"A one night stand won't hurt."

"Well…" Sarah thought about it for a few seconds. "What about Lexie?" She suggested. "Didn't you two hang out a couple nights ago?"

"Hardly." Nina frowned. "And Alex was there."

"So?"

"I don't know… I'm not sure how he'd feel if I went out with his girlfriend without him."

"Then ask him."

After having lunch with her friends, Nina decided to go looking for Alex. She wasn't sure if she'd actually ask Lexie to go clubbing with her, because in her mind Lexie Grey definitely didn't fit the party girl type and she would bet money on the fact that the resident never even had a rebellious phase, but still she thought that if she decided to do it, she'd need to talk to her friend about it first. Alex was getting ready to scrub into surgery with Jackson and Charles next to him as the three cleaned their hands.

"Hey." She smiled at the three in greeting before walking closer to Alex. "I need to ask you something… Hypothetically." She told him, Alex only raising his eyebrow at it.

"Okay…"

"Would you find it weird if I asked Lexie out?" The intern asked innocently, not noticing the look she got from the other two residents who couldn't help but hear the absurd question.

"…What?" Alex almost sputtered and she frowned before realizing how it sounded.

"Not like that!" She laughed at the look on his face. "I just meant if we hung out without you." She explained it and he frowned again, not understanding why she'd want to hang out with Lexie of all people. "I need a wing-woman. And Sarah is busy tonight."

"A wing-woman?" Alex laughed at the notion. "Why? Are you trying to pick up guys?" He thought the idea was ridiculous before she simply nodded like it was absolutely normal.

"Yep."

"What?" He asked again, this time almost choking. "What-what… What about the whole thing…? Not being ready…? You said you couldn't date men just yet." He questioned, remembering how she had said that before.

"I'm over it." She shrugged like it was that simple.

"Oh." He frowned.

"So." She asked again. "Lexie." She reminded him of the original topic of the conversation. "Weird? Yes or no?"

"No." He cleared his throat, coming back to the conversation. "Why would it be weird?"

"I don't know." She shrugged again. "Some guys are all freaky about the female friend and the girlfriend hanging out." Nina commented, remembering the times in college when some of her friends always worried she'd tell their girlfriends something she shouldn't.

"She's not my girlfriend." Alex rolled his eyes.

"Sure." She smirked and nodded before turning. "So it's ok if I hang out with your not-girlfriend?"

"I don't care."

"Alright." Nina grinned at him one last time before turning and walking out.

"Man…" Jackson said after she left, reminding Alex that him and Charles were there to witness the whole interaction. "That was… That was painful to watch."

"Mind your business." Alex rolled his eyes as he walked into the O.R. trying to ignore the two.

"You know that's never gonna happen, right?" Charles teased him from behind. "You're so deep in the friend zone, she probably thinks you have a vagina."

"I can take you both." Alex threatened with a glare over his shoulder. "At the same time." Jackson and Charles only snickered at his words but dropped the subject when Dr. Webber walked in.

Shortly after leaving the scrub room, Nina was approached by April Kepner. Apparently, Derek had asked her to find Nina and direct her to O.R. 2 for an ependymoma surgery. The intern was completely surprised but followed the resident promptly; Derek hadn't performed surgery in a while now so this felt like it came out of the blue but she was excited anyway. Debulking a tumor as Derek directed her was just what Nina needed; she imagined that a lot of people wouldn't understand it but cutting into someone's brain really made her feel alive.

"Thank you so much for letting me assist you." She grinned at him as they began to scrub out, he laughed.

"I figured we both needed this." He explained as he took his scrub cap off. "Too much bitterness this morning." The intern laughed at his words, remembering their conversation.

"Still, thank you for thinking of me." She said knowing that he didn't really need her there, especially because April had scrubbed in too but he still let her do most of the work.

"There may not be a lot of surgeries now… But I'm still your mentor." He pointed it out with a grin, before sighing as his pager went off. "I gotta go."

"He really likes working with you." April said after Derek left and the silence took over.

"Yeah…" Nina said with a frown because she didn't know how to respond to that.

"He told me that… Uh, he thinks you're gonna be better than him one day, you know." April smiled as they walked out of the scrub room together.

"I wish." Nina rolled her eyes with a scoff.

Before the two parted ways, Nina watched April's face a little closer. The resident always came across as somewhat naïve and a little weird but it didn't bother the intern, she actually liked April. She remembered how the resident had broken down crying after that patient died on Valentine's Day… The look on her face as Derek comforted her then and the look she had now; it was clear she was harboring some kind of crush on the new Chief.

"April, are you doing anything tonight?"

Having a little bit of down time, Nina was sitting down at a nurse station while she looked through the messages she had been getting on her phone. Sam and Parker had texted her, knowing the importance of the date and wishing they could be there with her; but she couldn't bring herself to answer them. Even though she felt like she had come a long way since last September when she left Chicago behind and closed herself off to everyone she knew, times like this really showed her that she still had some ways to go. Jake was still an open wound.

"Can I ask you something?" Leo asked with a deep frown on his face as he approached her.

"Sure." Nina nodded with a small smile as she pocketed her phone.

"Did you think I was gay when we first met?"

"What?" She almost squealed in surprise. "No!" She laughed out loud. "Why?" Then frowned. "Are you?"

"No!" He exclaimed loudly, frustrated.

"Oh good." She giggled. "I was right."

"Sarah thought I was gay." He mumbled after rolling his eyes at her glee.

"She told you that?" Nina's eyes widened.

"No… She told Miles and he told me…" He explained with a sad little voice. "You seriously didn't think I was gay?" He asked again after a few seconds, his voice still small but hopeful.

"Dude." She rolled her eyes. "You're not gay."

"Well, I know I'm not gay, Nina!" He complained annoyed. "But apparently there's some vibe I'm giving…" He leaned forward on the counter, dropping his face against it in defeat.

"Leo, I went to boarding school, alright?" Nina started saying just as her pager went off. "I know a lot of gay guys..." She told him, trying to sound reassuringly as she checked her pager and stood up in front of him. "And gay guys don't stare at my lips when I'm talking." She said with a smirk, he lifted his gaze from her lips to her eyes before looking down again. "Or my boobs."

"Sorry." He apologized with a blush and a sheepish smile, making her laugh as she started walking and he followed. "But what do you think it is? You know, that made her think I'm gay? Is it my voice? Or my… My walk? Oh, it's my hair, isn't it?"

"You have great hair." She reassured him with a shake of her head.

"Then what is it?"

"Well…" She bit her lips, not wanting him to feel bad. "Maybe it's just because you're a really nice guy."

"What?" He frowned in confusion, making her sigh as she stopped walking to look him in the face.

"Here's the thing…" She frowned as she started to think of a way to phrase it. "Actual nice guys are rare, ok? So when we, women, find a nice guy that's also super cute… We think he's gay." She shrugged.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Until they show up with a girlfriend and prove us wrong."

"Huh." She was ready to continue on her way but he still looked like a kicked puppy.

"Look, Sarah is just… Oblivious. You know how sometimes we don't see the things closest to us? That's you and Sarah." Leo frowned even more at her words. "You are too close, too friendly. She's never gonna notice you have feelings for her unless you take a step back."

"Oh." He interrupted, blushing like a virgin. "I-I-I… I don't have feelings for Sarah."

"Honey." Nina laughed. "You can't lie to a liar."

"What do I do?" Leo asked after a few seconds.

"I don't know, man, but it's gonna have to be something big… Unusual, that she wouldn't expect. Grand."

"Grand…" Leo mumbled but she just smiled and walked away. "Like what?" He continued to himself.

As they walked into Trinity Nightclub, Nina could already tell how out of their element Lexie and April were at the loud music, shining colored lights and the scantily-clad people. She laughed under her breath, thinking how surprised she had been that she didn't have to spend a lot of time trying to convince them to come out. With April, all she had to point out was that going out and meeting a guy would be the perfect way to forget the married and unattainable man she was currently crushing on. But Lexie was even easier, she almost jumped at the opportunity to do something that normal young people did.

"So…" Nina started to say as soon as they each had a drink on their hands. "We don't know each other all that well and I would like for the two of you not to judge me… But I'm only here tonight to find a man to take home." April choked into her drink at the intern's words.

"Ok…" Lexie nodded with a small smile. "And you want some help to look for it?"

"Sure." Nina shrugged with a grin. "No blonds. Oh, and definitely no blue eyes. Actually, brown eyes would be perfect; the darker the better."

Many drinks, many guys the three analyzed from a distance, many laughs and many freaked-out looks from April later and they had found the perfect guy. His name was Zack and he was the definition of tall, dark and handsome; he was even a little bit funny and he had two friends with him that were making easy conversation with Lexie and April. Nina was getting flirtier and closer to him by the minute up until the point he asked if she wanted to go somewhere more private, to which she nodded immediately with a grin before saying her goodbyes to the two residents and leaving with him.