First off I must sincerely apologize for the delay in the chapter, both for this story and my others. Without going into details, my mental and physical health took a nosedive for a while. I had to focus on getting myself back to good health before I did anything else. This meant the stories had to go on hiatus. However I'm doing a lot better in both aspects again, so it's back to writing. Thanks to everyone for being so patient with me.
Chapter 24: Who Are You, In the Dark?
Scratching of a pen on paper was the only sound in the otherwise quiet hotel room that was the temporary rest spot of Sam and Emma. He was currently going over one of the many papers he'd collected so far, trying to find a job for them. Several possible things had been circled, but several of them were also crossed out as well, the hunter being very careful in his screening process. Two days in already, but he kept looking, wanting to find them something easy that wouldn't be jumping too far into the deep end too fast.
Looking for work as a hunter wasn't instantaneous. You couldn't just read a story about a death or two and immediately know what the monster was. Very rarely was it ever that easy. It took digging, investigation, and a lot of risks most times. What could look like a couple simple crop circles could lead to a snarling black dog jumping you, or a blood-soaked church could look horrible at first but end with a simple salt and burn because as powerful as any ghost was they had very big weaknesses. Dean and he had been experienced enough to not worry too much about the end game of any hunt, but if he'd had the chance the man wanted to ease his young ward into this line of work and let her scale up.
"Anything yet?" she asked him curiously, looking up from where she was sitting on her bed, book in her lap and quilt of the homey feeling hotel, more like a hostel really, wrapped around her waist.
Emma passed the time he was looking for prospects just reading mostly. There was little physical training to do in a room this size, not without the risk of breaking something. The book she latched onto most was the one that Dean had given her. He'd watched her read it so many times, she had to be up in the double digits by now. He didn't mention it though, figuring she needed her way to cope, and if it helped she was welcome to it.
"Nothing so far," he replied as he threw down the pen and stretched a bit. "I'm trying to find something that can suit your skills as they are now."
"I can handle anything you need me to, Uncle," she said firmly.
He arched an eyebrow at her before smirking a bit.
"Walk out that door and get me a coffee," he instructed.
His words caused her to flush and suddenly look away. He was about to laugh before she tore her blanket off of her and stalked to the door, hand on the handle before she started to tremble.
"Emma, I was kidding," he assured her quickly. "It was just a joke."
"I can go out if I want to," she said, though he caught the stammer in her voice, slight as it was.
"Emma, it's noon. We both know you're going to panic before you even make it to the street," he said, trying his best to sound soothing to her.
Considering her reactions to the crowds, he wouldn't blame her for not really wanting to leave. She didn't even go to the window past 10 in the morning, didn't want to even look at the crowds of people, and if they went anywhere it needed to be early or so late that even in New York most people would be asleep. The Amazon had set rules for herself to deal with her problem, but it was more avoidance than anything. He hadn't thought she would try to push herself like that over some light needling.
Maybe teasing her wasn't the best idea, especially considering she had yet to let go of the doorknob… that she was currently crushing in her hand.
"Okay, you know what, don't worry about it," he said as he got up to gently take her wrist. It actually didn't take much to pry her hand off of it, the girl not resisting at all as he turned her back to the bed to sit her down. "It's fine, Emma. Look, if it came down to facing off a few clowns or staying inside, I'd pick the inside too."
"I'm not picking the inside. I can go out," she protested, but it was with too much of a pout for him to take seriously. "I want to get over this."
"Phobias aren't just something you get over," he explained with a shake of his head. "At least not easily. They certainly aren't gotten over by trying to jump headfirst into it and hope you don't have a freakout."
"I'm sure there will be a lot I'm afraid of when I really start hunting. I need to learn how to handle it," she'd explained to him. "Besides, it's not like I haven't dealt with worse."
His eyes hadn't meant to linger on her brand when she'd said it, but when they did he felt more than a little sick. All things considered, his own childhood felt god damn lucky in comparison. Maybe he never had a permanent school or a puppy, but his dad would have killed anyone who'd tried to touch either him or Dean, and he definitely NEVER would have pressed burning iron against their skin.
He was starting to really get why Dean had longed to give her something good in life, even if it had meant never being around to see it himself. The thing was, he wasn't even sure he'd explain to her that kids shouldn't be treated like that, shouldn't be hurt and made to think it was deserved. She knew that, had to have known that on some level because she'd left the Amazons willingly because they'd scarred her, but it was still pretty clear a few of their messages had taken too deep a root in her and if they hadn't left after months traveling with the Winchesters, then they never would.
"Why don't we focus on you just being able to look at crowd first before you start trying to dive into one?" he suggested. "Take it in steps."
"Think I should try humming Metallica?" she asked as she blew her hair out of her face, her annoyance clear.
"Couldn't hurt, but seriously, no one just gets over a fear that strong in a few days," he said. "You know, we can leave if you like."
"No," she said immediately. "No, Uncle, I can… I can try to handle it. You brought me to New York to hunt, and I want to hunt."
"We can hunt anywhere. Not all towns are this crowded. In fact, most of them aren't."
"Yeah, I know that. It's just… if we leave now it's because I got scared, because I couldn't handle it. I have to know I'm able to pull this off, that I'm not going to fail my very first attempt. Especially if you feel like you have to pick something that you know I can't screw up," she sighed out.
He sat down on the opposite bed, weighing his words carefully. He tried to think of what his dad would say, but mostly it was advice about dealing with fear like a man, and if something bled than you could kill it. Not exactly something she'd respond well too. For a second he'd been lost in the moment, teasing her like he would have Dean. Except this kid was his ward now, and maybe a guardian couldn't play around with her the way he could with Dean.
"It's more than just physical danger," he said. "Hunting is more than fighting, a lot more. You have to investigate, have a good cover story, be able to get in and out of places quickly. Honestly, I was hunting when I was your age. There's a lot Dean and I made up on the spot when we were younger. Coming up with a good alibi for you is going to be difficult most times with you being a teenager while I'm about twice your age. Can't exactly put you in a suit and call you my junior partner, maybe in a few years though."
"So my cover is pretty much going to rely on student and the like?" she asked.
"Probably. The issue with that is, that might split us up a few times. I can't exactly follow you around if you have to use that as your cover," he said. "I want whatever I pick to be something I can keep an eye on you, at least the first few times."
She blushed a bit and rubbed at her face before sighing.
"You think I might screw up?" she asked him. "Like with Emily?"
"Of course you're going to screw up. We all screw up. Bad calls, poor judgment, not getting the clues in time. Emma, there is not a hunter anywhere, a person anywhere, that has not screwed up. So Emily fooled you? Big deal. She fooled all of us, and we made it out just fine," he assured her. "No, that's not why I need to keep an eye on you. It's because… it's because I'm afraid I'm going to screw up."
"What? Uncle, you've been doing this for years," she said with a confused look in her eyes.
"Yeah, and trust me, it's been plenty of times for me," he assured her seriously. "It's going to happen. I just want to make sure I properly prepare you first and if anything happens that I have your back, because that's my job. I'm going to protect you."
"Uncle… I want to protect you too," she said softly.
It was a sweet thought, but that wasn't her job. Honestly, if it came down to it, he'd rather be the one down to the wire while he knew she was safe.
"That's not your job," he said, holding her hand up when she was about to protest. "It's not. If it ever comes down to it, your life is the one that's more important. I'm not going to let you get hurt or die. I mean it. The only way this is going to work is if you understand that. You're still a kid, and Dean would haunt my ass if he ever thought you got hurt because of me."
She chewed on her bottom lip before shaking her head.
"No, you're my family too. We need to protect each other, not make it that I have to rely on you all the time. Maybe at first, I can agree to that, but even as your apprentice, I need to know I'm pulling my weight and can keep you safe too. This is no different than any other training I've faced. When you get scared you ignore it. You force yourself through it. Courage in all things. The matrons would never accept this weakness. I have to power through it, to prove I can."
"You still care what those women think?" he asked her, but she shook her head.
"No, but I care what he would think," she admitted. "I want to show Father, where ever he is, that I can do this, that I can hunt and that you can rely on me."
He was kind of surprised to hear that reasoning. Dean couldn't be more different from them.
"I'm pretty sure the Amazons and Dean aren't even remotely the same."
"I know that," she admitted. "When they abandoned me, it was to protect themselves. When he was going to abandon me, it was to protect me. I couldn't prove my worth to my sisters, so I have to do it for him, even if he isn't here."
Her words were stated so seriously, the look to her face so fierce, he didn't even know what to say to it. What could he even say to that? Abandoned? Is that really how she saw what Dean had wanted to do? Sam didn't think explaining Dean's reasoning would help, that it would have been to give her something they'd never had. She'd heard it before, and it was a life she had never wanted.
To her, even if she understood the benevolent reasoning behind it, it would still have been abandonment. They only reason she was even here was because Dean wasn't around to forbid this.
He stood up suddenly and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.
"Uncle? Where are you going?" she asked him.
"To get us something to eat, and some more papers," he stated before heading to the door. "Go over what we have and see if anything catches your eye."
He wrenched the door open and slammed it shut behind him before she even had a chance to reply, the dented knob giving him some trouble. He probably could have stood to be a little more gentle with it in order to not give the impression he was mad, because really he wasn't, but he was confused. What was he even supposed to say to that?
He never should have given Dean so much grief over how to handle Emma. He'd had no idea back then. He knew she had her own self-worth tied up in how valuable she could be to her family, but that was on a whole other level. Teen-aged girls were a lot more trouble handling one-on-one than he'd realized. Leaving probably wasn't a good idea either, but he needed to clear his head. After all, it's not like he didn't have his own issues of self-worth to deal with too.
He threw himself into the car, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel for a few moments before he glanced down at his bag. He could really use someone to talk to, to not have to be the reassuring voice for just a little bit. If he could just get his own worries out, get his head together, he could tackle Emma with a little bit more clarity. It's not like it was going to be kindhearted or gentle advice, but he'd take anything at this point.
Decision made, he pulled out onto the street until he found a good alleyway that he could park in, the solitude enough for what he was planning. Pulling his computer out of the bag, he slipped the same DVD from before inside and waited for the trashy music to play. Same introduction, same door opening up, same Gabriel turning towards the screen.
Sam was still fairly sure that this was all in his head, but all the more reason not to allow Emma to see this. If she got the impression he was talking to himself while porn was playing, he didn't even want to think of the kind embarrassment it would cause between them.
Well, either embarrassment or she'd worry enough to try to put him back into another hospital.
"Gabriel," he breathed out. "I… I need to talk. Come on, answer me you son of a bitch."
"You know, I should be offended, but not exactly an inaccurate way to describe my dad," the archangel said, laughing softly with a shake of his head. "He could be so melodramatic when he wanted to. You ask me, it's where Lucifer got it."
"Can you… can you not mention him right now?" Sam asked. He already felt this was a bit too much like what he'd gone through before, but he was at least in control of when he was seeing things. If he was seeing things. He really didn't want to be reminded of the devil when he was worming around inside of his head, fake or not.
"Okay, but you're the one who brought up my family first," Gabriel replied. "So, what can I do for you today, big guy?"
Sam let out a breath he'd been holding, not exactly sure what to say first. Where was he even supposed to start?
"I… I don't know what I'm doing," he breathed out. "I'm trying so hard to keep it together, to do things right, but I keep missing him. I keep wondering what Dean would do and I… I feel so lost… There were times I was so mad at him, babying me, treating me like I couldn't make decisions on my own, couldn't handle anything but… He was right. He was right so often about me, about how I screw up. Now… now all I want to do is do good by him and I don't know how..."
How could he talk sense into Emma, tell her that her worthiness didn't have to depend on Dean, when he felt the exact same way? He was the one who'd kept him human, who had helped him put Lucifer back when he himself had let him out.
"Oh Sam, this is what I tried warning you against all these years ago," the angel told him. "Why do you think I told you it was better to let him go? You're a mess without him."
"You mean when you jerked my brain about to make me think he was dead and in Hell?" he asked with a snarl.
"Don't get snippy. You came to me for advice. You want it, I'll give it to you honest. You want to get pissy then I've got a porn star I can be balls deep in right now. Your choice."
Sam didn't want to admit it, but the guy had a point. He had come to talk. There wouldn't be any point if Gabriel got fed up with him, and Sam knew from first-hand experience he was not one to pull his punches when it came to his lessons.
"Alright," he said softly. "Fine."
"Okay, now let's think back to when you lost Dean that Wednesday? What did you do?"
"Try to find you."
"More specific Sam. What did you turn into?"
Sam frowned softly, not even sure what to say. What was Gabriel getting at? He'd been what he'd always been, a hunter.
"Obsessed, Sammy! You turned obsessed! I'm not going to have to explain this step by step, am I?"
"Tell you what, why don't you pretend I'm, oh I don't know, lost in my emotions because I just lost my damn brother and I'm not thinking clearly?!" Sam snapped back at him, forgetting all about his promise to play it cool in order to get this conversation going.
Gabriel put his face in his hands, pulling a bit as he groaned. It didn't seem like either of them were having a good time with this.
"Okay, fine. Never let it be said I can't be magnanimous," he stated. "When Dean was shot in that mugging, you came after me. That would have been understandable, perfectly okay. I was expecting that. On the other hand, it was all you did. You didn't rest, didn't mourn, didn't talk to Bobby-"
"That Bobby wasn't real. It was all an illusion. He was never real."
"So if I had just popped up in the real world and just snapped Dean's neck for real, you would have kept in touch?"
Sam hesitated at that, not wanting to admit it, but it was a good point. He really wouldn't have. He'd been too focused on getting Dean back to even want anyone else.
"Now, what happened when you lost Dean for real?" Gabriel asked. "This one you have to answer."
"I… I got addicted to demon blood. I got… I wanted him back, but no one would deal. All I could think about at that point was revenge," he said softly. "I shut everyone out, everyone but Ruby."
"You got obsessed, just like in the illusion, like I tried to warn you not to," the angel supplied. "Now what good did that do Dean? None. Not one bit. He still would have picked up the knife, still would have been the righteous man of prophecy, and still would have been pulled out of Hell when his next job was upstairs to be Michael's vessel. You could have been volunteering at an animal shelter those four months for all the good it did you."
"So what? I should just move on. I already accepting trying to get him back is irresponsible. I know that."
"Well, depends on how you define moving on. Do you think it just means you forget him altogether? Well then no. You shouldn't do that. It would be rude to his memory for one, not to mention impossible. Look, even at the height of my fun I still thought about the other angels. I didn't want to. Believe me, did I not want to. They were dicks! Still, they were family. Even when I walked away I missed them. You can move on though and have it be in a healthy way. Remember him any way you need to, say his name, light a candle for his birthday, get him a fancy grave and leave pie there for the birds to eat, whatever, but remember that wallowing is not going to help him or you."
"He's my brother."
"No, he's your world, Sam," Gabriel informed him coolly. "And at the risk of pissing you off, frankly, it's a pretty small world. You two got so wrapped up in each other you couldn't see others around you, people who would have helped if you'd just let them."
He rubbed the back of his neck, seeming to wonder if he should keep going. Sam said nothing to interrupt, so the archangel continued.
"If you had died, what would you want him to do?" he asked.
"I'd want him to be happy, to have a life," Sam replied.
"Good. So why can't you believe that he wouldn't want the same thing for you? You think just maybe he might want you to be happy?"
The man sat there in the car, thinking that one over hard. He remembered arguing with Dean about it, the man telling him to just let him go into Hell, that if Sam was able to stay alive then it was all that mattered. He'd given up his soul for his younger brother, a sacrifice he'd never asked him to make, but it had been for him all the same.
"How am I supposed to be happy when he's gone though?"
"You tried getting laid?"
Sam only glared at the screen for that comment, not finding it very funny.
"Alright, fine Mr. Tight Ass. Forgot I was dealing with the no fun allowed squad," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "Don't expect a list of self-help books from me. I'm more of the punish someone when they screw up types. Although if you have to insist on my advice, just take it day by day. Find what happiness you can and treasure it while you got it. Chase it down if you have to. Anything and everything that helps with the pain, a bit at a time until one day you realize thinking about the past doesn't hurt like it used to. It's probably always going to sting considering how close you two were, but someday you're going to think of him fondly again without the heartache. Eventually the happiness will stop being a distraction and just be real, and if you feel down, just remind yourself that Dean would want you to be happy, or at least not obsessing again."
"What if I continue hunting? How do I keep from falling into that trap?"
"How am I supposed to know? Saving people isn't really my thing," Gabriel said with a shrug. "Keep an eye peeled for grateful girls happy not to be eaten by the monster I guess. Dean won't be around to make their sexual fantasies come true. You might as well do it."
"Ugh. Can you… can you not?"
"What? Don't know how? I can give you a demonstration," he said before snapping his fingers. "Yo, Trixie. Ready to get down and dirty?"
Sam scrambled for the laptop, slapping it shut just as the groaning started. Yeah… yeah, he hadn't really needed to see that. Talking to himself while someone might pass by and see that in the car was one thing, that was something entirely different.
Knowing how deep exactly Gabriel's balls could get was…
And he was stopping that thought right there because he was crazy enough as it was without even considering something that off base.
He left the bag in the car as he climbed out, walking down the sidewalk to get the first thing he saw that would be a good lunch, still trying to fight down a blush. He was no prude, but really how into yourself could a guy get? Especially since he made all his partners out of thin air with literally no purpose except to stroke his ego. Not exactly a vote of confidence for giving Sam advice on how to pleasure anyone.
He ended up going down several blocks until he found a stand serving gyros and he picked up a couple of them, along with some fries and a couple cans of soda. Good enough for lunch, and they could order out for dinner or maybe he could coax her out to a nearby restaurant. She was eager to at least try and push her boundaries, and she seemed okay enough when he held on to her. He could probably scope a place that wasn't crowded, help her out a bit. It was his job as her uncle after all as well as her trainer.
He was just turning around to head back with the car when he stopped short at seeing a paper stand out of the corner of his eyes, doubling back a little to grab one at the sight of the headline. He barely heard the owner grumble at him this wasn't a library and if he was going to read, he was going to pay. Juggling the food and the news, he grabbed a few bills and threw it down on the counter before heading back to the car, jumping in it and speeding off the hotel as fast as he could.
Emma jumped in surprise when he came barreling, tossing the paper down along with the food and grabbing his clothes, throwing them quickly into his bag.
"Eat and then pack. We're getting out of here in fifteen," he ordered. To her credit, she had been rushed out of too many hotel rooms to even question it, immediately jumping up from the bed and going grab her stuff, though she did take the time to pick up the paper and give it a read.
Investigation of Art Students Murder-Suicide
Troubled Teen Responsible for Five Dead?
In a shocking twist on the recent murder case of the tragic ending of five young art students of State University of New Paltz, evidence now points to a suicide pact. Recently found documents have reportedly been found, allegedly signed with the five names listed below. Official statement from police has confirmed the names of all the students who tragically died in the fire were on the list, detailing the planned deaths and how they would be carried out, however this contradicts evidence on the bodies of struggle.
"Yes, the names were there, the handwriting all matched a single style. Therefore we have reason to believe that a single person wrote the pact as well as signed for everyone," Chief of Police, Richard Grey gave in a statement last night. "Until the investigation concludes, we can not give out the details of who the writer might have been, but our hearts go out to the families of all these young men and women who tragically lost their lives and we hope to give them answers soon so that they may be allowed to mourn properly."
While the pact has not yet been seen by any news media, insider tips have claimed that the paper was written on stationery paper provided by business Daniel Blake Auction and Estate.
Sam decided it was too much effort to take the time to eat, especially since Emma was too busy reading the paper, and just grabbed everything before yanking her out the door with him.
"Sure you're not cold, brother?"
Dean looked up, curled up into himself, knees pulled up close and his arms over his chest. He hadn't moved an inch for over an hour, staring at the vampire across from him.
"Don't call me that," he replied coldly.
Benny gave a little whistle and smirk before shrugging his shoulders.
"Fine by me, Dean. I just call everyone that. No need to feel like it makes you special," he assured the human. "Still, dead of night, no fire? Doesn't bother you?"
Dean frowned, only comforted by the fact Benny needed him supposedly, and more than that, his weapon was within reach if he needed it. His gun had long since run out of bullets, used up on his first few days here, but his knife was still sharp and the handmade ax he'd gotten from his latest kill would be even better at decapitating this guy if need be.
"I don't get cold here," he replied, figuring he might glean some information from Benny since he seemed in such a chatty mood anyway. "I'm not tired, not hungry, but you knew that, didn't you? No one here does."
"Ehh, with you being human, and alive, I kind of figured the rules might be different for you. Guess not. No, there doesn't seem to be much feeling here in these parts, not for anyone. Except of course for the drive to attack each other, but that might be more our nature than anything else," Benny explained. He either didn't seem to mind the talking or was just playing along with the hunter. Either way, Dean really didn't give a damn. He needed to find out as much as possible about this place if he was going to survive it and get back out. "Haven't had the urge to drink a drop in a long time. Still, don't you think a fire might be a good idea. I can see in the dark a whole lot better than you can, but I got my own hide to worry about protecting if something happens."
"You want out of this place, you'll do what you have too," Dean snarled at him. "Not that I trust you to do that at all."
"Oooh, one day in and I can already see you are going to be a delight to travel with," Benny laughed.
"No fire," Dean stated firmly. "It'll attract attention."
"True, also might ward off the beasties afraid of that kind of thing. Bit of a toss-up here, but you're the boss I suppose," the vampire conceded.
"I didn't even want to stop. I'm not tired," Dean replied. Well, not physically anyway. Mentally, he was already feeling kind of drained, but also absurdly sharp despite the fact he hadn't slept since he got here. The last time he had gone without sleep this long had been Hell itself, dead and not in need of it, though he would have killed for it. Any kind of rest or respite to be away from Alistair, not that he would have allowed it. Here though, he felt… tired wasn't the right word. Agitated, on edge almost to the point of mania.
"You're going to want to pace yourself here, Dean," the vampire supplied. "This place will chew you and spit you out, and unlike the creatures here, if you get taken down, I don't think you will wake up the next day if you get torn to shreds."
That confused Dean.
"Monsters that die here come back?" he asked. Oh, great. He'd already killed quite a few monsters, and now they had a very good reason to gunning for him, not that they didn't already.
"Well, some of them," Benny admitted. "This place wouldn't be so easy to escape. I think there are some who would like to get out of here, even if it did mean total destruction. Purgatory is a meat grinder, vast and wide, filled with things that will go feral and kill you if you so much as look at them funny. I've seen some torn to pieces, only to be back the next day. Think this place would be pretty empty at that rate with how violent some around here enjoy being. Then again, there are faces of folks that never seem to make an encore."
"What happens to them? Why do they never come back?"
"Not sure. There are all kinds of rumors about this place. Some say you only get so many chances before your number is officially up. Some say no one ever truly dies, but the ones who get hurt enough get tired of it and find some dark hole just to hide away in and hope no one finds them again. Been here a long time myself, and I'm no closer to an answer than anyone else. Seeing as how no one seems that keen on experimenting, the lady's rules elude most of us."
"The lady?" Dean asked, though he had a feeling he already knew who Benny meant.
"The mother of all of us here, 'cept the Leviathans. Not many see here, but it's said she walks the forest at times, taming some of her children, turning others of them feral. It's considered both a boon and a curse to set eyes on her."
"Yeah, might want to steer clear of here, considering I smoked her ass a while back. Figured she'd end up back here," Dean muttered.
Benny laughed at that, a deep throaty sound that lasted several minutes before he noticed the look on the hunter's face.
"You're not kidding," he eventually said. "You killed Eve?"
"Well, if she's here sounds more like I just relocated her," he replied. "Damn it, that's the last thing I need. Okay, she gets close we bolt. I don't have anything that could take her again handy."
"You are just full of surprises, aren't you? I'm not sure if this means my chances of getting out of here are rising or plunging deep down."
"Take it or leave it, right?"
"True you are," Benny stated before shrugging. "Ah well, what have I got to lose?"
"Only your ride out."
"Mmm, that is an important point, surely," he admitted. "Guess you hoped you'd end up the banks, huh?"
Dean was confused at that until Benny indicated around his throat.
"The coins on your necklace," he explained. "For crossing the River Styx. Thought you'd end up there, brother?"
He was too surprised to correct him, though he quickly took the metal and tucked it underneath of his shirt, not wanting Benny to focus on it too hard.
"How do you know about that?"
"Heard a bit about some Greek myth while I was still kicking around. No matter to me," he replied, though his tone had gotten much less cheerful and playful all of a sudden. "Two was customary to get on the boat, though I hear one can pass in a pinch if you need it to. You of the faith? Don't exactly have Greek features. Maybe the dark hair, but nothing much else."
"It was a gift," he muttered. "I don't believe in much of anything that I can't see with my own eyes."
"Refreshing attitude. Luckily, you'll see plenty around here. In any case, you should rest. We still have hours before we get light again."
Silence descended on them for a while. Dean knew he wouldn't sleep, even if he was tired. He'd just met this vampire, and while he was offering a way out, he was still very skeptical about it. He was more interested in finding Cas and making sure he was alright.
Cas… damn it, why had he sent Dean away? They would have had a better chance together. How could he have been so stupid as to just zap him away? Didn't he think that Dean could protect him?
Then again, it really couldn't be his fault. For all the hunter knew the monkeys had told him to do it. He was still really messed up in the head after all, but that only made him worry all the more. The angel didn't fight anymore. Would he do so now to defend himself, keep alive? He was adamant about not fighting anymore, and all he had promised was to buy Dean time.
He felt sick when he wondered if that had only meant him sending Dean away in order to be the meal the monsters had been looking for. No, he wouldn't do that. He'd promised he wouldn't leave again.
Though… could he really hold a promise to Castiel considering his state of mind?
"Has anyone heard rumors of the angel being alive?" he asked the vampire anyway. They were here resting until daytime, or the foggy dim light that passed for day around here.
"Most of the rumors have been about you. A human carving his way through packs of monsters as if he were king of this place," Benny replied. "I had heard some talk about him though."
"What kind of talk?"
"Only that he's around, honest. I want to get out of here soon as I can, and if he's the ticket to making you willing to leave, I'd be just as happy to find him fast," Benny replied. "I don't think many will bother him though. Stories of creatures like that have been popular for ages now, their power, their ruthlessness. I don't think anyone fancies a tumble with that. All risk and very little payout. Don't think anyone would believe a monster bragging they managed to kill an angel anyway."
"Leviathans could be a danger," Dean reasoned.
"Very true. We'll have to do our best to steer clear of them. Of course, I'd suggest that anyway. They've always been top dogs around here, and they're always hungry. One thing I do know. You get eaten by one of their kind, you don't come back. Luckily they're more lone hunters and we have a tendency to stay in packs. Safer that way."
"You seem to know a lot of rules here," Dean noted. "How long have you been here?"
The vampire only gave him a rueful smile.
"Long enough. So, since we're getting to know each other so well, I have to admit I am curious. Just why are you so invested in this angel of yours? Wouldn't think a human and one of God's first people would be all that close."
"None your damn business," he snarled, to which the vampire just held his hands up in mock surrender.
Yeah right, like he was going to reveal what Cas and he were.
Though, actually, just what were they now? They hadn't really had time to talk it out. Just a confession filled with a bunch of worries he was going to screw up but that he wanted to try anyway. Castiel had called him his lover but that kind of title usually came after sex, and that certainly hadn't happened yet. Then again, that might not have the same meaning for the angel. Did angels think about that kind of thing differently? Was it a more a label or term of endearment? Some kind of misunderstanding between Enochian and English? Yeah, he really should have asked about that when he'd had the chance.
He could still remember the words the angel had said to him, spoken softly and intimately, almost like a prayer… or a confession to a sickly sweet sin. Dean would have groaned if he was alone without any risk of being heard by someone else sitting just across from him. He really, really should have kissed him. Why the hell hadn't he kissed him? What, was he saving it for some special occasion? Since when had he needed the flowers and emotions? It should have been easy to pull him close and lay one on him, especially since he had known it was likely he was going to die on the job.
Instead, he was sitting here in a stupid foggy forest with a stupid vampire and his stupid accent instead of getting through Purgatory with his stupid angel.
He'd really like to know exactly why God had apparently decided to get his yucks by screwing Dean over every chance He got. Freaking douche-bag.
He supposed for now he just had to count himself lucky. He was not dead (yet) and he had a (possible) escape plan, along with a (probably completely untrustworthy) ally on his side. Not the best tools he could hope for, but currently the best at his disposal and that needed to be enough for now. One way or the other he would find Cas and get him out of here, safe and sound where maybe they'd have five minutes to be happy together for a change.
Okay… so knowing Dean's luck, it would be more like two minutes, two and a half, tops, but damn it he was going to fight for it anyway. He was no longer an optimist. He hadn't been one for a very long time but he was determined to carve something out for himself, no matter what it took, no matter how hard he had to fight for it or what kinds of monsters he had to climb over to get it. Sam was out there somewhere looking for him, Emma safely tucked away with Jody, and Castiel had to be alive. He'd get back to them, all of them, and he'd kill any son of a bitch that got in his way.
End of Chapter 24
Benny! Oh wow, you finally made it to the party. Let the screaming of fangirls commence, you smooth-talking, sharp-fanged, sweetie pie you.
All kidding aside, I was very happy to get to this guy. I adore Benny, but I think just about everyone does. I was very happy to get to this guy traveling around with Dean, as well as drop some headcanon lore about Purgatory. There was always a debate if creatures came back or if they died dead in Purgatory. Season 15 seems to have settled it… somewhat. Personally, I prefer to say it's both depending on circumstances. Keeps the mystery up. Also, Emma and Sam having their adventures. Team Free Will 1.5? Neo Team Free Will? An Uncle and his Amazon? Eh, whatever.