Hope you've liked knowing what happened. Now its time for the repercussions.
I don't own anything.
Kurt needed to think, he needed to be alone and think.
Throughout the silent car ride, Kurt ignored any and all of Blaine's explanation and apologises; although he wasn't sure whether Blaine should be the one apologising. When thinking about it, had he actually done anything wrong? Should I be mad over a drugged up mistake? The questions were why he needed the time alone to think this through, think about if he is mad at Blaine, or simply overwhelmed by the new information running rampant in his head and crashing with every other thought.
As soon as he stepped foot into his house the demands from his father started. Burt was asking for explanations and apologises and Kurt only processed half the words before he was walking down the stairs into his bedroom. He felt like he was on autopilot, not taking in his surroundings and acting on muscle memory alone. It was like his mind was full but empty at the same time. Like the thoughts got so loud that they can no longer be heard. Burt or Finn possibly came into his room, he has a faint recollection of footsteps, but they could have been him for all he knows. The world around him was a different reality, he was having an out-of-body experience without leaving his body, it seemed nobody could him bring him back down, so if it was Finn or his dad entering his room, they must have realised how useless attempts at conversing would be.
Sitting alone, Kurt didn't cry, he wasn't angry, he didn't scream or laugh or anything. He just sat, in the middle of his bed, staring at the blank wall.
Blaine, on the other hand, wasn't so calm. He was feeling every emotion: every negative emotion. Anger towards himself for being so careless, sadness from the look of Kurt's face, loss from seeing Kurt walk out the door without even a second glance and guilt for putting this knowledge onto Kurt, the only warning from the little information Finn and Rachel had provided. Blaine truly thought he had lost him.
Blaine paced the house, thinking over everything that happened. Taking in the memory of Kurt's face, his body language, his voice, anything that could tell him what he was thinking upon being told. But there was one other thought hiding amongst the worry, a thought that made him stop his movements. A thought he wished he didn't have. Blaine had never wanted anything more than to of had Kurt stay and talk to him, let him explain everything, to not of vilianised himself. He could feel the want inside him. He could feel the power inside telling him how he could have stopped Kurt, he could have him, he could make him stay. The voice had never been so loud and strong, and it scared him. He was scared of how hard he had to work to resist the temptation. It would be easy. A simple touch and Kurt would be his- the only thing stopping him was that he'd be like his father. Using his power to get what he wants, not taking others into consideration, not letting them make their own choices. It was wrong, no matter how good it would feel, he had to let Kurt make his own choice even if it killed him.
It's not too late, to go back, go back and get him, have him be yours.
Sometimes, Blaine hated the silence of being home alone, it made everything louder. It allowed for the voice inside to be louder. He needed a second voice in the room. A noise he couldn't drown out or ignore. One of kindness and innocence; he needed Rosa back. She was now the only thing that could keep him sane, keep him from acting out and doing another thing he'd regret. Maybe if she was here, he wouldn't have told so much. His father did say she would be back at 8:00, and it was 7:43, he could wait, even if he had to wait sitting on his hands while music filled the room and his head.
"Jesus Blaine!" were the first words his french saviour said when opening their front door.
"Oh thank god," he whispered to himself before getting up and jogging over to greet her, turning down the speakers en route. The pair shared a big hug, realising how much they missed each other during the time she was away.
Their reunion was disrupted by a gentle cough from outside, with a final squeeze, Rosa let go and made room for a woman to get through. Blaine had never seen her before but she looked nice enough.
"Hi, sorry for interrupting, my name is Holly Holiday."
"Are you a stripper?" Blaine asked, her name itself bringing that idea.
"No, but not the first I've heard that," Holly replied, shrugging her shoulders and making her way into the house.
Taking in Blaine's confused look Rosa explained how she met Holly at the yoga retreat and that Blaine's parents were aware of her staying here while she would be working at the school as a substitute.
"I'm gonna have a teacher, living in my house?" Blaine questioned with clear surprise and annoyance.
"No," Holly said, "you're going to have a substitute, much more relaxed."
"Holly, do you mind leaving me alone with Blaine for a minute?" Rosa's voice became soft and her eyes sent a message of concern.
Without another word, the tall blonde gathered her singular small bag and head off in a direction, Blaine didn't look which, his eyes had fallen to the ground, any relief he had from seeing Rosa was washed away at the reminder of his problems.
"Whats happened?"
"Nothing," Blaine said dismissively.
"Blaine, you play music too loud when your emotional, what's wrong?"
"I already said nothing." He really dint want to get into it, not only would it make him sad again but he also doesn't know if the voice would come back, and he doesn't want it back. So he replied, showing false anger in attempts to get Rosa to give up.
"You also get easily angered, so that didn't help." Rosa held Blaine's hands and dragged him to the kitchen, "now you are gonna sit there and talk to me." The maid's eyes lit up from an idea, she started hurrying around the kitchen, it becoming clear she was making Blaine and her a hot chocolate by the ingredients she pulled out," and you can't go until you finish this."
"I just don't want to get into it!" Blaine huffed, hitting the island counter he was sat at.
"Is it your parents?" Rosa knew well of the struggles Blaine had with both parents and his unwant to ever talk about it.
"No, actually, not really at least."
Rosa made a small noise of surprise, stirring the chocolate into the heated milk. It was clear she was expecting more of an explanation.
"It's a boy."
"Really?!" She squealed. Blaine felt a bit bad, watching rosa get excited over somebody Blaine had probably lost.
"Yeah, but he's not-" Blaine's voice broke,"I can't do-"
Rosa placed the hot chocolate in front of him, it now being a source of comfort rather than a timer of conversation.
"Take your time, it'll do you good to tell someone."
"That's the problem, I think I told him too much"
"About your..?" She made a little hand gesture which meant to resemble the families gift.
"No," Blaine said, quickly stopping her mind from going there and the problems it would induce. "About the fire."
"Blaine that wasn't your fault remember, you were high and your father had been, well, himself."
"I know but, I could have said no, or I could have checked the building, or I could have no been such a dick and shown off. I'm not innocent here, the only reason I am sitting here and not in a cell somewhere is because of my father."
"If you regret it so much, why'd you tell him?"
"I was forced to, his friends decided to do some snooping into my past, found out about my expulsion and that I've been to court for murder and there was a fire at that time. They're not dumb, they put two and two together, and then they told him, so I had to tell him everything to stop him from leaving, and now he's still gone."
"Let me ask you this. Did this boy-"
"Kurt," Blaine told her.
"Did Kurt deserve to know?"
"That I'm a murderer." Blaine started, disappointed in himself, the memories flooding back, "Did he deserve the weight of knowing I'm walking free despite killing someone? Because the answer to that is no, he doesn't deserve that, he will never deserve that, he's too perfect to ever deserve that."
"Blaine, you know that's not what I meant. Did he earn the truth? Should he know so much about you? Does he know much about you?"
"Believe me, he knows me, all of me." Blaine couldn't help but smirk a little, he liked those memories.
"Blaine, you didn't.." Rosa couldn't fish that sentence. But she didn't have to, Blaine spoke fast enough.
"Oh God no, I would never do that to him."
There was clear relief in Rosa's expression. "So, he did earn the truth then?"
"Yeah, I guess so. But he didn't have to know. If he didn't he would still be here, not at home probably figuring out a plan to never see me again."
"I'm sure he's not."
"You didn't see his face. I saw the shock, the fear, the regret. He wouldn't even talk to me. I've got to go." Blaine said, his voice cracking again. Rosa let him go, but she made sure he took the untouched hot chocolate with him,"don't let my work go to waste." she joked, trying to coax a smile.
She watched him go, waited for the loud music to begin, which it never did. She didn't know if that was more or less worrying. But she didn't have time to worry, Holly Holiday came tiptoeing into the room, interest written on her face. Rosa told her what she could. She never mentioned the fire or the Anderson gift. She stuck to talking about the parents mostly, them being the unspoken reason for all the problems Blaines is having to go through for a boy.
"Does Blaine love this Kurt?" Holly asked when all caught up.
"I think he could," Rosa said, casting one final look Blaines way.
Inside Blaine's room, he sat, once again thinking over the events of the day while stroking the strings of Elvis' guitar, the possible last connection he could have with Kurt, until he fell asleep.
Luckily it was the weekend and Blaine could use the time to rest and get his thoughts alined. He didn't sleep in exactly, he awoke at a normal time but remained in bed, watching the evergrowing brightness of the rising sunrays escaping past trees and houses creating shadows across the flat surface of his ceiling. He was feeling more at ease having slept off the worry and panic of the previous night. Although he still felt some guilt and fear that Kurt would never see him in the same way, he also felt like he might have overreacted a little. He knew Rosa was right that the fire wasn't his fault completely, and if she can realise that, maybe Kurt could too. Not worrying as much about his relationship anymore, Blaine began thinking about whose fault it was that he had to deal with all this, who he had to blame for the possible ruin of the best thing that could have happened to him, and his mind went immediately to the T-rex and the Jew Kurt called his friends. Blaine started to feel angry, his fist clenching at his side and body heating up. He wanted to get back at them, he wanted to hurt them as they did him. The only problem being he had no idea how he didn't have the power amongst the school faculty to dig up dirt on them and they would never willingly talk to him about that stuff.
"What about unwillingly?" Blaine laughed to himself, knowing his biological advantage could seriously help him to get exactly what he wanted.
Suddenly Blaine was much more energetic, leaving his bed with extra prep in his step and heading down the stairs looking for a certain person. A person who wasn't hard to find, he just had to follow the sound of shouting and stench of overpriced whiskey and vanilla-which Blaine also referred to as the smell of a monster, or of an asshole depending on his mood.
He found his way to his father's office, a place where murder could happen and nobody would know. Nobody was allowed entry without knocking, and even then are most likely turned away. Blaine saw the large mahogany door as more of passage to hell rather than just a divider between rooms, but he needed to speak with the devil himself to get what he desired which should be easy when your his descendant.
Blaine waited outside, waiting for the shouting about a rigged jury to come to an end. Once he heard the high pitched dial tone showing the end of that conversation he knocked, hard and sure. He couldn't show hesitance.
"I'm busy!" Michael shouted, sounding irritated.
Blaine hated talking with him when he was in the wrong mood, but he needed to do this before he came to his senses."father, its Blaine." He heard a sigh through the door. He knew how much he would hate saying this but it was the most effective way to turn his father mood," please?"
"Fine," His father said, his footsteps getting louder as he approached the door. When he opened the door, he looked Blaine up and down, clearing judging the sleepwear appearance of his son and not granting entry yet but encouraging an explanation for the disturbance with a single look.
"Do you still wanna strengthen my gift?" Blaine asked, showing a confident malicious smirk, crossing his arms as he looked up at his father. He was trying to look as sure of himself as possible.
Whatever he did, it worked. Michael moved out the way, opening the door further and gesturing to the emerald chairs that sat one side of the desk facing the single larger version the other side. "Of course I do, please come in."
His father actually saying please was a, sure enough, sign that this was the right choice, even if Blaine was doing it for reasons other then power. But his father didn't need to know that. All his father knew as that his son was ready to become what he wanted him to be, and the joy it brought him was clear. As Blaine walked in, his father waited at the door, watching his son get comfortable as he closed and locked the door, not even trying to hide his smile. Michale sat at his side of the desk, adjusting a few files and moving papers into a drawer, opening the space between them where he rested his clasped hands.
Blaine leant back in his chair, copying his father's smile, and asked, "How do you want to start?"