He liked sitting next to Tonks best at Order meetings. She made him laugh at the most unexpected moments. She made him feel like he really belonged.

He would take her home after meetings sometimes, and they'd just talk. About the war, about their families. He found, to his surprise, that he didn't mind talking to her about Sirius, and Tonks spoke about her girlfriend, Tulip Karsu, who was killed by Death Eaters some months ago.

They were at his place one night, and Tonks was going through his bookshelf. "You have some Muggle books in here."

"My mum," he said. "She was a Muggle."

"Ah, right," she said, putting his copy of Pride and Prejudice back. "Dad doesn't have much Muggle things around, but I suppose it's different, being a Muggle and being Muggle-born."

"I'd imagine so."

Things were good between them. Then, on July 13, the two of them sitting on Tonks' porch, she said, "I think I might be in love with you."

Remus froze. Tonks' eyes – naturally dark brown – gazed at him hopefully. "I don't … I don't think that's a good idea."

"A good idea? I didn't want this."

"No rational person –"

"Remus, please."

"I should go." Remus stood, and Tonks seized the front of his robes.

"Remus."

"This isn't –"

Her lips were on his then, soft. Wanting. Unthinking, he kissed her back, his hands now on her back …

They broke apart, Tonks' chest heaving. Remus looked at her for a moment longer – and then left.

XXX

Remus spent most of the next year or so underground, quite literally. He stayed with the werewolves, earning their trust, feeling dirtier with every day. He resurfaced only a few times in those months. Every once in a while for a status report. For Christmas, which many of the werewolves had forgotten about entirely.

He sat in front of the Weasley's fireplace, listening to Harry and Arthur arguing about, once again, Severus Snape.

"Has it occurred to you, Harry," said Arthur, "that Snape was simply pretending —"

"Pretending to offer help, so that he could find out what Malfoy's up to?" said Harry. "Yeah, I thought you'd say that. But how do we know?"

"It isn't our business to know," Remus said, looking up from the fire. "It's Dumbledore's business. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us."

Harry frowned. "But just say … Just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape."

"People have said it, many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's

judgment. I do. Therefore, I trust Severus."

"But Dumbledore can make mistakes," Harry insisted. "He says it himself. And you. Do you honestly like Snape?"

"I neither like nor dislike Severus," Remus said. Harry frowned and Remus continued, "No, Harry, I am speaking the truth. We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps. After all that

happened between James and Sirius and Severus, there is too much bitterness there. But I do not

forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon."

"But he 'accidentally' let it slip that you're a werewolf, so you had to leave," Harry said.

Remus shrugged, feigning an indifference he did not feel. "The news would have leaked out anyway. We both know he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful."

"Maybe he didn't dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him," Harry muttered.

"You are determined to hate him, Harry," Remus said, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "And I understand. With James as your father, with Sirius as your godfather, you have inherited an old prejudice. By all means, tell Dumbledore what you have told Arthur and me, but do not expect him to share your view of the matter. Do not even expect him to be surprised by what you tell him. It might have been on Dumbledore's orders that Severus questioned Draco."

Another song on the radio ended, and an argument between Molly and Fleur – Bill Weasley's fiancée – began. Arthur sprang to his feet.

"Shall we have a nightcap, then?" he asked. "Who wants eggnog?"

Harry turned back to Remus as Arthur scurried off to the kitchen. "What have you been up to lately?"

Remus explained to him about the werewolves. "Nearly all of them are on Voldemort's side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was, ready-made." He realized he must sound bitter, and shook his head. "I'm not complaining. It is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing and sometimes killing to eat."

"How come they like Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life. And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there."

Harry frowned. "Who's Greyback?"

"You haven't heard of him?" Remus's hands twitched involuntarily. "Fenrir Greyback is,

perhaps, the most savage werewolf alive today," he told Harry He regards it as his mission in life to bite and to contaminate as many people as possible." Remus hesitated and then added, "It was Greyback who bit me."

"What? When – When you were a kid, you mean?"

"Yes. My father had offended him. I did not know, for a very long time, the identity of the

werewolf who had attacked me. I even felt pity for him, thinking that he had had no control,

knowing by then how it felt to transform. But Greyback is not like that. At the full moon, he

positions himself close to victims, ensuring that he is near enough to strike. He plans it all. And this is the man Voldemort is using to marshal the werewolves. I cannot pretend that my particular brand of reasoned argument is making much headway against Greyback's insistence that we werewolves deserve blood, that we ought to revenge ourselves on normal people."

"But you are normal," Harry blurted. "You've just got a – a problem!"

Remus burst out laughing, his heart swelling in his chest. "Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

The following morning, Ron Weasley was passing a gravy boat to Fleur and accidentally knocked it flying. Fleur scoffed and said, "You are as bad as zat Tonks. She is always knocking –"

"I invited dear Tonks to come along today," said Molly, glaring at Fleur. "But she wouldn't come. Have you spoken to her lately, Remus?"

Remus' heart gave a flutter, but he ignored it. "No, I haven't been in contact with anybody very much. But Tonks has got her own family to go to, hasn't she?"

"Hmm. Maybe. I got the impression she was planning to spend Christmas alone, actually." She shot a look at Remus, making him wonder how much she knew.