Special Moments

by Sentinel07

At Garreg Mach Monastery, it's the little moments that make it all worthwhile. Same holds true for a teacher and student learning to be comfortable around each other. As time flows, they'll come to understand just how much they mean to each other. Light fluff at first.

10. Spark

Hello everyone, Sentinel07 coming live once again!

Amazing how big the last couple of chapters were. By far the largest I've ever written by myself. Also, on a bit of a personal note, this is now my most favorited story of the ones I've written by myself, so big thank you from all of you on that.

Well, in any case, time to get the show on the road again. Probably in for another long one. As usual, Fire Emblem ain't mine.

BEGIN!

---

Spark

Imperial Year 1185, Day 1 of the Great Tree Moon

The beginning of yet another year. Once again time to put up a new calendar. Same motions Bernadetta had gone through already a few times in this room. Almost robotically, she took down her old one, hanging up the new one Bridgette had gotten her the other day.

"Another year," she sighed as she secured it in place.

Honestly, it was hard to even keep track of it all these days. The days just tended to blend together now. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Indulge in some hobbies. Lunch. More hobbies. Dinner. Practice. Rinse and repeat over and over. It had gotten to the point where Bernadetta barely even thought about it. It was peaceful for what it was worth. Nice and stable, far away from anything. She had grown accustomed enough to the maids to at least feel like they had her best interests at heart, and rarely intruded on her space. She didn't give much thought as to what she did day by day, just indulging in whatever she wanted to do at that exact moment. It was quiet...perfectly quiet.

Suffice to say that her room wasn't exactly tidy these days, filled with stuff all over the place, only barely kept organized enough to the point where at least she wouldn't trip over everything. A whole stack of art canvases were tucked into the corner, most with nothing on them and a few with barely any color at all. Loads of extra scraps of sewing materiel littered the floor, particular because Bernadetta had been in the middle of making some of her clothes bigger. For the most part, Bernadetta basically handled all her clothes herself, lengthening and making them bigger whenever necessary. It kept her occupied that was for sure.

Bernadetta didn't exactly care too much about her body. She had a complex with a few things but that wasn't one of them. She really didn't even know for sure how big she was now, only really measuring on places that were necessary. The full scope of her growth over the past few years was lost on her, not that she cared too much about a lot of things these days. Her hair was still the same mop it had always been, with her only bothering to cut it when it was getting too long. She still didn't care to style it in any particular way.

Various other sewing projects were thrown here and there, though they hardly had the vitality that her earlier works had. The stuffed bear for Byleth still laid by the side, practically collecting dust by this point. Bernadetta wasn't even sure if she was happy doing all of this, but it kept her mind occupied so she didn't really mind it, and she was finally done with the dress she was lengthening.

"That should be enough," she said to herself, folding the dress up before she began to walk out for a bath.

This part of the day typically worked like clockwork. Bernadetta would get out at this time of day to wash up, much to the maids delight that she stopped going multiple days with no bath at all. Guess it was a testament to the fact that she was comfortable enough around the maids for her to at least get out of her room for that amount of time. Bridgette would always be there to make sure it was ready and sure, and typically would offer to help her, which ended up in refusal more often than not. Bernadetta would just take it at her own pace and say not much else on it.

After that was done and she was dry, she put her dress on and went down for breakfast. Again, it was typically quiet, given all the knights her mom left were outside and the handful of maids around typically just kept to their jobs. Come to think of it, her mother had visited at least once each year so far, if nothing else than to just to check up on her and pester her a little more on inheriting House Varley in time. Most of those encounters went by without any major conversation between the two of them, typically just ending with Bernadetta receiving some books and/or work from Esmeralda. In some ways, the slight indifference reminded Bernadetta of her situation with her dad, though not to the same extreme. At least her mom actually did ask to talk with her, even if it was rejected most of the time. She would leave soon after dropping off whatever she wanted. Granted, it was perhaps a small blessing that Bernadetta didn't get the sense Esmeralda held her little outburst from their first meeting against her, having not ever brought the topic up again.

"Good morning, milady," Mimi spoke as she was handing Bernadetta her breakfast. "You sleep well?"

"Same as usual," Bernadetta replied, beginning to eat without another word. At least the food was really food. Mimi had gotten even better as time went on.

The maids around her were the same as there were before, so they somewhat gotten to know each other well enough. Bernadetta at least got a sense of familiarity not unlike those of her old classmates, even if the feeling wasn't exactly the same. She didn't feel the same desire to really open up to them, even when they offered. It just wasn't the same.

"How are you doing with those documents Lady Esmeralda left you?" Mimi spoke again, breaking the silence.

The last time she had dropped by was about a week ago to drop off a few old documents, with the intention of letting Bernadetta work on them. It was basically homework, and Bernadetta hadn't spent too much time on them, preferring to just stick to her own things. She still had the books her mother had left over the years for the same purpose, and they had been collecting dust whenever she wasn't reading a few pages at a time.

"Fine," Bernadetta sighed as she continued to eat.

Yeah, this was basically just how things were going. Just throwing off any attempts at interaction outside and living day to day, trying to not think of the others outside. It just made things harder.

Mimi played with her hands a bit as she frowned at Bernadetta. The girl had the same miserable look on her face that she had for years now, particularly since the one night she was in the old tower to the west. Mimi had wondered what changed there, but the girl clearly hadn't been the same. She still did the same things, but not the same vigor as usual. Whenever Bernadetta went outside to paint, a lot of the time she just stared the blank canvas, barely even getting a few strokes in before calling it. During the few times they actually got inside her room to at least get the dust out, Sara would tell her about all the sewing material everywhere and some half-done projects, including one she remembered Bernadetta coming to the house with that still wasn't complete. Her writing seemed to be the only thing she still kept at and seemed to be doing rather well in, for better or worse.

Mimi wasn't sure if it was her place to comment though. Her role here was just to assist like any maid would. Still, she'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her seeing the young heiress looking like a caged bird. It was with that depressing thought in mind that she continued on her duties while Bernadetta continued to eat, lost in her own mind.

Yep...just another day.

---

Imperial Year 1185 Day 8 of the Harpstring Moon

Did you know Bernadetta didn't like surprise visits? Surely you did, and everyone in the house was aware of that even as Esmeralda was walking into the house, barely any time after the notice had arrived.

"Y-You should have said so earlier!" Bernadetta said as she rocked in her chair.

"Bernadetta, this is our family house. I don't need an invitation," Esmeralda replied cooly. "Plus, I was on my way to conduct other business in the territory and had more than enough time to stop by. I had been planning to come by earlier anyway."

"But...why?" Bernadetta asked as she sipped her tea. Due to the abruptness of her mother's visit, Bernadetta looked especially out of sorts, not like she cared anyway. "You only came by once a year since I came here, so why now?"

Honestly, Bernadetta was a bit surprised she was speaking rather fluently with her mother, not quite as timid as she was a few years ago. Then again, guess meeting with her without her father's presence helped somewhat, and Esmeralda had been less aggressive with talking with her ever since that outburst. Come to think of it, even with everything that had happened, Bernadetta was still proud of that moment in particular.

At Bernadetta's words, Esmeralda put her tea down. She figured it would quickly come to this, given how casual conversation was hard to come by between the two of them.

"Because we'll need to get serious soon," she said, making Bernadetta pause. "You should know the war's progress so far. Faerghus has been under our control for some time now, and half of the Alliance is allied with us as well. It'll only be a matter of time before their leader either falls or surrenders."

Claude...Bernadetta had heard that he'd officially succeeded his grandfather as the leader of the Leicester Alliance. For all appearances, he seemed to be doing a pretty good job of it, given the Alliance was still going at this point. Of course, such a point made Bernadetta wonder about her old classmates, whom she imagined were probably resisting wherever they were.

"And...that matters how?" she responded despondently. If Esmeralda noticed that, she didn't say.

"It matters in the sense that, soon enough, Fodlan will be united as Her Majesty wishes," Esmeralda continued. "And that will mean the end of the war. This year could very well be the time that happens. And when it does, we'll have to settle the matters of our family, as will many I assume."

Oh...this was about THAT again. Bernadetta could only wonder why she thought it might be anything else.

"Bernadetta..." Esmeralda continued. "When Emperor Edelgard succeeds, merit is going to matter more than anything else. For our family to maintain its status, it'll fall to you as the next leader to keep it going strong. Fortunately for you, Her Majesty already has a high opinion of you. She told me herself that she thinks you possess great talent. As a matter of fact, I agree with her that you have much to contribute.

You know, in any other situation, a daughter would love to hear such a thing from her mother, so why did Bernadetta not sense much maternal warmth from those words? Every time Esmeralda talked about such things, it just sounded like business to her.

"I see..." Bernadetta grumbled, not even trying to act like that cheered her up in any way.

"And so," Esmeralda continued as if nothing happened. "We need to take greater steps for when you take over as head of the family. I already told you your father's days as head are numbered, and it'd be ideal to pass on the title of Count Varley as soon as possible once the war is over. I was lenient to start, just giving you materials to look at over the past few years, but now we'll need to take it up a notch."

"I don't need it," Bernadetta looked back up from her drink. "Me staying here doesn't hurt anyone and I'm no good for governing. Just leave me alone here and run the family yourself."

Esmeralda narrowed her eyes but didn't look overly upset. Not any more than usual at least.

"You know that's not how it works, Bernadetta," she replied. "You're the heiress of this family. You have a responsibility. I didn't let you continue to lay about back at the estate and I'm not going to let you do now either. I'll be coming by more frequently to assist in your studies, to make sure you grow in to your role."

Bernadetta tensed up at the words. So her mom was now going to be the one constantly pushing her around? This really didn't sound much better than how things were before Garreg Mach. Granted, her mom wasn't the abusive type like her father, but she had other ways at her disposal. Esmeralda wasn't known as a genius in the capital for nothing after all. It was a quality Bernadetta kind of envied in a sense.

"Trust me, Bernadetta," Esmeralda began again. "I will resort to other methods if I see them necessary, and I'll just warn you now that you probably won't like them. I suggest you take this seriously. I didn't bring you to this house just to let you do whatever you pleased. I was lenient before due to Her Majesty requiring my assistance over the past few years, but with you being of age, I will make sure you shape up."

Bernadetta gulped as her mother began to get some other supplies ready, as she was apparently going to stay just a little longer today before continuing on her business. Bernadetta could only wonder what these "other methods" would be. In a way, Esmeralda was far more unpredictable than her father, and that in turn actually made her even more scary. At least when it came to her dad, Bernadetta could reasonably expect how he'd react.

Bernadetta's hands curled in her lap as she watched her mom begin the first of what would likely be many lessons of this type. She really didn't think she'd basically end up in school again, and this time she had no one else to keep her company, not to mention how her mother lacked her professor's kindness and patience. Maybe if she imaged Byleth's visage over her mother's, it'd make it feel better.

...No, it really didn't.

---

Imperial Year 1185, Day 8 of the Garland Moon

Bernadetta took another deep breath as she readied her next arrow. This was going to be for a record shot from her. She had never practiced one from this distance before, but thought she might as well give it a shot. She practiced so much at closer range that it was actually getting kind of boring. Might as well do something that was actually more challenging. She went through her usual checks for the wind, and began her shot.

"And..." she said to herself, before letting the arrow fly.

A direct bulls-eye. One of many she had achieved over the course of her nightly practices. Honestly, it was kind of satisfying to see her hit the target almost every time. Made it feel like she was honoring Byleth's memory in some way or form. These practices had done wonders for her physical strength, given it was just about the only exercise she really did for it. Her shoulders, back, and arms had become quite strong from the workouts, even though she hardly paid much attention to anything regarding her body. Even her occasional lance practices had helped out in some regard, even if she did those less frequently.

"Good thing I actually figured out how to make these in my own time," she smiled a little bit, walking over to begin picking her arrows up.

Given all her free time, she had occasionally thought back to her bow and arrows, and sometimes thought about whether or not she could improve upon them. Seteth did give her a lot of praise for her handiwork in every way so perhaps that was why she decided to try out this little bit of crafting. In any case, it took some time, but she was able to craft her bow from its generic form from the monastery to one that suited her own talents. She had to make adjustments to it based on her height too. Come to think of it, she never fully measured herself all that much so who even knew how tall she was now. All she did was just take a casual look on herself and make adjustments to her clothes or weapons based on that. She had no shortage of requests from Sara to make some clothes for her, as well as continued insistence that Mimi would like to help with her hair or generally with anything else.

While she had continued to turn them down on every occasion, it was somewhat nice to know they at least were on her side. The maids were the closest people she had to any sort of companionship during this time. In some cases, their presence was especially comforting when having to deal with her mother's increasing insistence on preparing her for taking over House Varley.

Becoming the next Count Varley...of course Bernadetta had asked herself that many times in the past. It was one of the thing she thought about the most before the battle of Garreg Mach and factored into her decision to ask Byleth to be his apprentice. It was a role she figured she would pass on. She had every right to, right? Even during her years of being stuck here, she never really considered taking up management of the territory all that seriously. If nothing else, she probably wouldn't have much involvement in political matters outside of the territory even if she did. Just the Varley territory was enough without her dealing with the rest of the Empire.

That train of thought made her sigh as she sat down, laying on the grass. One could only wonder how things would even end up once the war was finally over. One could only assume the Empire would either control all of Fodlan, or it would fall. Edelgard wasn't exactly one to compromise from what Bernadetta could see of her at the academy. Her mother seemed to be wholly on board with her agenda though, hence why she had become so much more focused on Bernadetta of late. Bernadetta could only sigh at the irony that the one thing that actually made her see her mother more often was only because of house matters. To that end, she had put some effort towards learning the documents she had been sent, if nothing else than to keep her mother abated enough to not do anything rash, though the lessons had been quite hard. Not quite the welcoming atmosphere of Byleth's class...

"No...not again," she sighed, putting an arm over her eyes.

She had made it this far not thinking too much on her classmates, quite a few of whom she considered a friend. Putting them out of mind and just going from day to day doing what she wanted made things easier, if not empty. She didn't want to go through another sleepless night of wondering whether or not they were alright. You don't exactly get to hear too many specifics of the war. If Dorothea or Leonie got killed, they'd just be another statistic, though Petra would probably cause more waves in the event of her death...

"Stop! Stop it!" she lightly hit her head. "Don't think about that! It won't matter anyway."

Really, as long as she was here, there wasn't much point in wondering about them. Not like anything would change anyway...unless she went out to see for herself...

"Hah...me going on on my own..." she sighed. "That'll be the day..."

She'd be lying if she said it hadn't crossed her mind once or twice in the past, going out on her own and leaving the Varley territory on her own terms. It never went further than that though. Just a thought that came in and left as quickly as it came. It sounded out of the question. A little nobody like her wouldn't amount to much in the end. Her friends were capable. She was just someone who liked to hide. She could barely even take care of herself in a controlled environment like the house, let alone going out into the unknown. And that was without the little fact that any sort of running away would be seen as treason. Bernadetta didn't hold much love for the Empire itself, but the idea of doing such a thing as this was beyond her.

Suffice to say, that was all she thought about as she gathered her things and went back inside. It seemed like forever since the kind words of her professor last reached her.

As things stood, she was the very definition of a caged bird. One that was too frightened to think of leaving, even if the door was left wide open. As Bernadetta went through her usual process of putting everything away and going to bed, Mimi and Sara couldn't help but watch, just seeing the poor girl go through her routine with not much life in her.

---

Imperial Year 1185, Day 20 of the Blue Sea Moon

It wasn't often that Bernadetta went too far beyond the immediate territory of the house. However, today was the exception to that rule, as Mimi was currently escorting her through town that housed the Varley estate on a little errand. Of course, it wasn't exactly her idea to begin with. She was just going to stay inside like usual. However, Mimi kindly asked her if she could come along, just to get a little bit of sunshine. Bernadetta was just coming out of dealing with Esmeralda's schooling for about a week, having all manner of political matters hammered into her head. One could only wonder how much of it was actually sticking with her, despite how much more common Esmeralda's lessons were becoming.

"I hope I'm not inconveniencing you, milady," Mimi looked at her apologetically. "I didn't want to force you. Far be it from me to do so. But...I figured..."

"It's okay," Bernadetta gave a slight smile. "It's...not the worst thing."

Mimi and the other maids might not have been really close with Bernadetta, but she did like their presence enough. They may not have done as much friendly stuff as Bernadetta had done with her classmates, but Bernadetta had developed a good sense for character, even if she wasn't aware of it. The subtle actions of the maids gave her all the indication she needed that they meant her no harm and wanted her to be well. And in all honesty, the distraction was perhaps necessary. Not only was her mother being more exhausting than before, but Bernadetta hadn't even indulged most of her hobbies of late. She hadn't painted anything in some time, and her sewing more or less stopped once she appeared to stop growing. She was still writing though, and thought she was on to something with a pretty good piece.

In any case, being within the main town of House Varley wasn't the most comforting, even as she had a cloak to avoid getting recognized. Last thing she needed was to draw a crowd. She was really just here to help out if needed.

"So, what was it you needed again?" Bernadetta asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to look for some supplies we're running low for," Mimi explained. "We can get a few fruits and bread nearby, and then a few supplies we need for the house. I do most of the shopping so I generally know most of the merchants."

"Uh huh," Bernadetta nodded in acknowledgment. Well, at least they wouldn't be wandering around lost.

It appeared to be a pretty busy day, the streets littered with many people going out and enjoying the day. It was considerably more crowed than your average day at Garreg Mach, making it not exactly the best-suited environment for Bernadetta, but at least the crowd should make it less likely for her to be spotted. News of what happened to Count Varley was surely something they all heard about years ago, and she didn't want to have anyone ask her thoughts about it. Staying close to Mimi seemed to be working out well enough.

For her end, Mimi was actually quite delighted to see Bernadetta out of the house. The relationship between Bernadetta and the maids had gotten casual enough that she could simply ask her if she wanted to come around without having to fear any reprimand. Thankfully Bernadetta wasn't like many other nobles in that regard. Granted, as she probably should have expected, it had been a rather quiet ride and their walk was still quiet.

"So milady..." Mimi began to talk. "If I may ask, how are you handling the work Lady Esmeralda gave you?"

"It's coming along, I suppose. It's all mostly on management of the territory," Bernadetta sighed. "She says I'm doing average at best."

"Oh...well that's better than nothing, right?" Mimi tried to found reassuring. "I'm sure Lady Esmeralda wishes for the best."

"Best for whom?" Bernadetta replied, mostly to herself.

She could tell that her mother wanted to move on to having her interact with other Empire officials, though such things were hard with the war going on. Not to mention that there had been so much shake-up when Edelgard ascended and began enacting her own policies, and chances are that there'd be even more shake-up whenever the war ended. Despite all appearances, who knew who would rise up into the higher ranks of the Empire in the war's aftermath. That was perhaps why Esmeralda had held off on doing anything too big, though that would only last for so long. She'd probably act on it sometime this year if need be.

"I'll only have so much time until mother forces me out," Bernadetta sighed. "I really don't want to get involved with other officials. Just dealing with House Varley is scary enough."

"Would you prefer just handling House Varley's affairs and leaving the rest of the Empire to handle itself?" Mimi asked out of curiosity.

"I'd prefer...no never mind," Bernadetta replied. Of course, she knew her own answer. She didn't want to be in charge to begin with.

The topic seemed to die right there, as Mimi didn't want to push it any further. No doubt Bernadetta didn't want to talk about it as well. Might as well since they were actually getting close to where Mimi needed to shop. Bernadetta wasn't unfamiliar with shopping with the few times Byleth got her to help out in the marketplace, but given how she wasn't totally familiar with how to even navigate this place, it was best to leave it to Mimi. Come to think of it, it was a little embarrassing that Bernadetta didn't even know her hometown all that well.

As she took one of the bags of food, Bernadetta sighed at the thought, turning her over to the direction of the Varley estate. You could see a little of it from where they stood, and she could even pick out the gardens where she at least got to enjoy herself a little. Somewhere in that house, her father was probably going about whatever his daily business was. One could only wonder what that included given Esmeralda handled Varley matters now. Still, Bernadetta figured she couldn't care less about what he did, so long as he was there and she was out here.

Mimi looked between Bernadetta's face and where she was looking, making the connection after looking back and forth a few times. Having spent perhaps the most amount of time with Bernadetta, it hasn't hard, and she frantically tried to think of something to shift the conversation to.

"Uh...oh..." Mimi mumbled, cursing her slow thinking before she finally struck an idea. "Oh! How is your story coming along? You made some progress?"

At some point over the past year, when Bernadetta was actually enjoying some tea with Mimi and Sara, she had shared with them her story that she wrote at Garreg Mach. Granted, the primary reason why was because Sara accidentally came across it when she was cleaning the floors of Bernadetta's room. Still, Bernadetta didn't freak out as she normally did, and allowed the girls to take a look, to which they enjoyed it as much as her classmates did. She even shared that she was working on another story, unrelated to the last one.

"It's going alright," Bernadetta replied.

This particular story was about a holy knight and a princess from the forest. She felt she kind of got the idea of it from her time in Garreg Mach and modeled some of the events after it. It was quite an engrossing tale not going to lie, sure to be just as good as the story she wrote before. In a sense, it was the only reprieve from everything Bernadetta felt she still had after all this time. The one true place she could still pretend all was right in the world. Though, she was relieved that Mimi and Sara didn't know enough about her friends to know who she was basing who on, nor the identity of who the holy knight was inspired by. Ugh, just the thought of it made her blush.

All that aside, she shook it all off, resigning to walking behind Mimi as she went to the next merchant on their list, which wasn't too far down the road. Mimi seemed especially giddy about it though. So much so that she almost left Bernadetta behind and she had to jog to keep up.

After she finally caught up, she saw Mimi smiling at another merchant.

"Vinny! How are you?!" she cheered as she walked up to the little shop.

"Ah, Mimi! Hahahaha! How's living it up for House Varley treating you?" laughed the older man, giving the smaller girl a big hug.

"It's going well, thanks," Mimi smiled, before turning to Bernadetta. "Oh, apologies milady. This is Vinny. He's a long-time friend of my family."

"Oh...h-hi," Bernadetta gave a small wave, looking in awe at the big man. Imagine Raphael, except even bigger and with a graying mustache and you'd get this guy.

"Hmm? Milady she said?" Vinny looked closer to Bernadetta, making her jump a little before he laughed. "Hahahahaha! You mean this is the little miss you're serving? Not quite what I expected!"

The man had a hearty laugh as he ruffled the top of Bernadetta's head, messing up her hair underneath the hood even more than it already was. He seemed pretty nice if nothing else though. Bernadetta kind of felt the urge to run as usual, but she held on for the sake of not wanting to embarrass Mimi. Speaking of which, the maid gave her a small smile.

"Forgive me for Vinny," she smiled. "He's always been like this. Commoner or noble alike for that matter."

"It's fine," Bernadetta replied, not quite enjoying the attention he was giving her. Though, he seemed nice enough. Kind of reminded her or Alois a little.

"Looks like you got a good head on your shoulders," Vinny laughed a little more before taking a seat and turning to Mimi. "So Mimi, what can I do ya for this time?"

"Oh, just the usual list," Mimi smiled as she flashed her piece of parchment. "You got any new stock?"

"You doubt me?" Vinny hummed good-heartedly, looking over what Mimi needed. "Let's see here..."

Given that Bernadetta wasn't entirely needed for any part of this process, she just started casually looking over some of Vinny's displayed merchandise. No way would she ever want to stray too far from Mimi and wander around a whole bunch of people she knew even less about. On some level, it felt silly to feel like an alien in the very town she was raised in, but that's how things were given she never got to outside much at all. Still, it's not like she cared enough about the place to want to connect with it. If anything, the sooner Mimi wrapped up her business, the better.

As she was looking though, something happened to catch the corner of her eye. Vinny's merchandise was fairly ordinary for the most part, but he had a few accessory pieces with him. Many of it was fairly simple, but what drew Bernadetta's attention was one little piece in particular. It was a little purple ribbon, likely something one would wear in their hair if she had to guess. The ribbon was a couple shades of purple, but the simplicity of its design looked really nice to her. It was held together by a beautiful gold piece, with a design etched into it that indicated it was made locally in the Varley territory. For how little it was, it was craftsmanship she appreciated.

Her gaze wasn't lost on Vinny as he was handing Mimi some of her supplies.

"Hah, that one caught your eye?" he chuckled. "I'm able to get my hands on some local goods here and there. Every so often I'm able to convince someone passing by to have one. Ha ha ha!"

"I see..." Bernadetta replied, only really half hearing him.

Well, it did look nice, and in all honesty, it was well within her price range. Still, she wasn't really in a shopping mood for the most part. Heck, given everything going on with her, it'd likely just end up another thing to languish somewhere in her room. Plus, it was a pretty piece. It'd look better on some proper noblewoman, or at least someone who looked cleaner than her. And on that depressing thought, Bernadetta sighed and turned away, just looking away from everything until they could leave.

Bernadetta's demeanor wasn't lost on Mimi, who immediately put two and two together and looked at the accessory herself.

"Say, Vinny," she got his attention. "How much for it?"

Bernadetta's head shot up and looked at Mimi. What exactly was she thinking? Did she want that for herself? If Vinny was surprised, he didn't show much of it.

"Oh ho, you like it too?" he asked. "Well, let's see...how's about this?"

"Hmm..." Mimi hummed about the price, before giving a little smirk. "Can't you knock that down a little?"

That proceeded was one big haggling battle between the two of them, enough to send Bernadetta's eyes into a spin. This was far from the first time she had seen such a thing, particularly when Byleth or someone else from the class was dealing with Anna or any other merchant, but the fact that numbers could fly so fast was something she would never understand. Perhaps that was one reason the studies her mother was giving her wasn't going too well.

"You drive a hard bargain, little missie," Vinny gruffly laughed. "Very well, half off it is."

"Oh please, you know you wanted us to have it," Mimi grinned as Vinny handed the accessory to her. "You barely even tried this time."

The two of them shared another laugh, and Mimi thanked him for everything, giving him a nice curtsey before taking her leave from him. They shared another wave before separating for good, with Mimi pulling Bernadetta along, so was still confused.

"W-What was that?" Bernadetta asked her once she had a chance. In a sense, the idea that Mimi could get something she didn't have the guts to get herself didn't make her feel good about herself at all.

Still, Mimi's smile didn't waver. It gave Bernadetta the impression that she knew something she didn't. That didn't change even as they were moving out of town and back to the road that would lead them back to the house. Once they were on their own though, Mimi slowed down, reaching down into her sack and pulled out the hair accessory, holding it out to Bernadetta.

"That was me getting this for you," Mimi smiled. "I could tell you thought it was cute, so I thought I'd buy it. You've looked really down in the dumps, milady. I hoped it might cheer you up."

Bernadetta's face turned beat red, realizing how she got it all because of her. She had been sad for a long time now, hardly even thinking about it for the most part. It touched her deeply, especially as Mimi dropped the hair accessory into her hands.

"Don't worry about the price. I had a lot of extra from the deals I got," Mimi continued. "I think it would look really nice on you, milady. Maybe tidy up your hair a bit first though."

Another quip about her hair. No shortage of those over the years. Still, Bernadetta could barely speak a word about it, feeling a little choked about such a simple gift. She could barely even think of words to express how she felt.

"...Thank you," Bernadetta settled on, holding the accessory close.

"Your welcome," Mimi smiled, though she took note of how Bernadetta didn't seem much happier. "Now let's get back."

That sounded nice. Being in town was enough excitement for one day. Bernadetta wasn't sure if this would mean much in the end, but deep down, she knew she appreciated the gift a lot, even if it might be a while before she truly knew how much.

---

Imperial Year 1185, Day 1 of the Verdant Rain Moon

"Hmm, maybe this would work," Bernadetta said to herself.

Given how she had been depressed more often than not these days, she was feeling surprisingly better today, even getting some work done on her story. It gave her at least a little comfort in light of the fact that her mother would be coming by again in the near future. Not exactly something she was looking forward to in the slightest. For today at least, she was willing herself to at least do some writing. So many of her projects had fallen by the wayside as time had gone on, indicated by the bigger than normal mess in her room.

Heck, her gift for Byleth was probably lost in the stash somewhere. Such a thought came to mind for her on occasion, yet she couldn't find the motivation to pick it back up. Honestly, thinking of Byleth in general caused a lot of conflicting feelings for her. Of course, she hoped he was all right, and maybe one day he'd appear as a knight in shining armor to take her away from here where they could live together in seclusion, where nothing could touch them and they had all the freedom in the world. Wouldn't that be grand?

Alas, she knew Byleth well enough that he wouldn't just up and leave everyone. Nope, he'd do everything in his power to come to someone's aid. That's part of why it became harder to believe he was still alive at this point. If he was, there surely would have been something by now. Maybe that was why it was so much easier these days to not think about it, to not yearn to see him again only to be disappointed. Thinking of him only brought back images of days that looked like they were never coming back.

That being said, trying to put thoughts to paper was helping to relieve it a bit. If reality wasn't helping, she could escape into this for a while. It had been something she had been working on and off on for a while now. Long story short, it was about a gallant knight who comes across a maiden from a forest village. It all happened as the knight was caught up in a war that was beginning to span the continent, something she hadn't planned on originally. It made Bernadetta wonder if this war was getting to her that it was affecting her writing in a sense.

Still, she liked the concept. She couldn't help but imagine herself as the beautiful maiden from the forest, all alone and secluded from the world. But then came the knight, and it was love at first sight. Sure, the knight kind of looked like Byleth but that was beside the point, right? Honestly, Bernadetta got a little giddy thinking about it, smiling just a little.

"The knight and maiden would end up traveling all over the continent, fighting against injustice wherever they went, along with their friends," Bernadetta recounted over her story.

Bernadetta couldn't help but recognize little bits of familiarity with her own experiences over at Garreg Mach, but it was all she had to go on for inspiration. Perhaps over the course of this story, she could find some semblance of a happy ending for herself, as much as she could at least. She was following the story to whatever natural conclusion it was leading to, albeit dealing with little bits of tragedy along the way. One way or another, stories would always find the way to whatever conclusion they were meant to.

She sipped on her tea as she was writing up to the next segment, where the knight and his army were fighting their way back home to prove their innocence in the conflict. However, things weren't looking good for the heroes, but maybe things would be better once the knight was able to reunite with his friend, who kind of reminded Bernadetta of Edelgard to an extent.

However, it was getting sadder by the minute, and Bernadetta was beginning to lose confidence in where she was taking this. The knight and the forest princess had been unfortunately separated over the course of the journey, and the knight was trying to save her, along with proving his innocence. However, unknowingly to him, the Emperor was the one who had the princess in his custody. Furthermore, one of the knight's friends had been killed while trying to come to his aid. It was all reminding Bernadetta hauntingly of everything that happened during the last battle of Garreg Mach, seeing the town alit with flames and allies slain everywhere you looked.

As she was approaching the end of the battle, her mood had gotten worse, and after looking it over, it was really sad now. In her mind, she could imagine Byleth falling to Edelgard's army in the same way the knight was killed by the Emperor, with the princess taken away from him for good. Her pen stopped right there, before completing the last sentence she was on.

Just like in real life, everything in this story was turning out as she remembered from years ago. Was it really all she had to draw from? That she couldn't escape what was going in even in her own world?

Her pen trembled in her hand, unable to write any more...

"Good day, milady!" Sara was walking in with clothes in her arms. "I finished your laundry...Oh, are you writing? How is it?"

Bernadetta didn't answer, barely registering what Sara had said. Just like that, she didn't feel in the mood to finish this anymore. What looked promising now was looking more like a tragedy. A stark reminder of what her life was looking like right now...

She suddenly stood up from her chair, startling Sara a bit with how fast she moved, before running out without another word. In Bernadetta's mind, she just didn't want to think about this anymore. Anywhere just to get her away from this.

"What happened?" Sara murmured to herself, before seeing the piece of parchment hanging on the desk.

Which now featured little droplets soaked into it.

---

Imperial Year 1185 Day 8 of the Verdant Rain Moon

"So Bernadetta, how would you handle this?"

"Um, well..."

Another day, another lesson she had to endure. With the way things had gone, Esmeralda has averaged an appearance about every 3 weeks or so, bringing more literal and figurative baggage with her every time. Bernadetta was getting crammed with about as much work as one could expect to be given without actually interacting with others, something that Bernadetta could only imagine she was being given leeway with because of the war.

As for right now, she was being drilled on the economic nature of the Varley territory. The arid territory's claim to fame was obvious; ore mined from the Ogma Mountains and the weapons made by them. It was one of the most important factors of the Empire right now, still fueling the weapons of the front lines to his day. Esmeralda had naturally been in charge of handling those transactions all this time, and she was making sure Bernadetta knew as much about it as she did.

Matters like this weren't unfamiliar to Bernadetta as Garreg Mach had helped a little with it, but suffice to say her mother's stricter teaching wasn't helping.

"It would be...like this," she finally said after writing it down.

Esmeralda took the paper over, her eyes going over every single line written. The fact that her face never changed in the slightest was no help at all. At least Byleth's face sometimes changed. Sometimes.

And, as it often seemed to do, Esmeralda just sighed.

"Not nearly good enough," she said. "Has Garreg Mach taught you anything? This is very substandard."

"But i-it's exactly as I was taught!" Bernadetta cried back.

Seriously, she had been trying to study this material. It just seemed so much harder to do here compared to how things were at Garreg Mach. At least there, the professors were overall pretty patient when it came to each student's learning style. This sort of trial by fire wasn't suitable for Bernadetta at all. It was like her mother expected her to take over ruling duties immediately. Not to mention how she seemed to have a very different definition of how things were supposed to be handled compared to Bernadetta.

"Whatever case that may be, you need to show more than this to succeed under what Her Majesty wants," Esmeralda continued to stare at her, probably intentionally skirting around the idea of questioning her professors given Bernadetta's reaction to her critiquing Byleth. "Anyone can do this at the level you're at. At your current progress, our families' lands could very well go to someone more worthy, and there will be many who'll rise up."

"Then maybe we should let them. It's not like I have any particular attachment to our lands anyway," Bernadetta thought bitterly. Seriously, just throwing this stuff at her constantly wasn't helping in the slightest. Was her mother that paranoid of how House Varley would be handled? It kind of made Bernadetta wonder why she supported Edelgard anyway.

If not for the fact that Bernadetta didn't want to blow up in front of her mother again, she probably would have given her at least some part of her mind. Still, she kept that to herself. No point in egging it on when she knew her mother wouldn't listen.

Esmeralda wasn't exactly taking Bernadetta's silence kindly.

"What are we to do with you?" Esmeralda asked half-rhetorically. "You're 22 years old. You had an education at Garreg Mach. Yet you are still nowhere close to being ready. Over four years you've been here, and no progress. Someone of your age and standing should know this by heart now, regardless if I'm here or not."

Bernadetta folded her hands in her lap, shaking a bit as she turned her head away from her mom. From their spot nearly, Mimi and Sara were inching closer to each other.

"That's not really fair. She really has been trying," Mimi whispered, to which Sara nodded.

"This really isn't the way to teach someone," Sara replied back. "I mean, the pressure is bad enough, but then there's the fact that she's practically isolated here..."

"Hush," Bridgette motioned towards the two of them, quieting them before anyone else could hear them, making both Mimi and Sara eep a bit.

Their conversation didn't seem to reach either Bernadetta or Esmeralda's ears, given they kept their eyes on each other.

"Do you truly have nothing to say for this?" Esmeralda asked sternly. "That you would just do nothing but sit in your room and not be responsible at all? I told you that I would take drastic measures if you can't live up to the standards of House Varley."

"Then what will you do then?" Bernadetta snapped back, staring at her mother in frustration. "Just leave me here for all you care if I'm so hopeless. I'm better off alone than I am with you or anyone else."

Okay, that one wasn't entirely true. Even Bernadetta knew she was exaggerating somewhat at the end. She did have people she liked being around, and her own maids had made for nice company over time. But right now, her mother was frustrating her to now end, and it was starting to get to the point where she just wanted everyone to leave her alone for a while. Somewhere quiet was all she needed.

Unfortunately for her, Esmeralda's gaze didn't lessen. She continued giving that undecipherable look that made Bernadetta wonder just how her mind worked.

"If you're not going to be what you should be," Esmeralda spoke again, her tone more of a warning than before. "Then I'll marry you to someone who is."

Bernadetta's entire world froze at her words, looking straight at her mother with wide eyes. Her whole body shook under this realization, her mind hoping that it was just a sick joke. That she wasn't just imaging her father's treatment of her all over again.

"...W-What?" she squeaked out, unable to say much else.

"I won't let House Varley fall to ruin, and if that means giving the reins to someone more worthy and you being little more than a trophy then so be it," Esmeralda spoke harshly. "Course, who knows what sort of man would accept someone as messy and unrefined as you. A girl who just shuts everyone else out and doesn't try one bit to better herself."

Every word was like a dagger that kept boring itself deeper and deeper into her heart. She so wanted to just say that it wasn't true. Scream to her mother's face just like she did years ago, and speak to her about all the things she did before at Garreg Mach. About how she, after some effort, opened up and spoke to many people she considered a friend, who liked her for who she was and not for what she wasn't. About how her dear professor made her feel more appreciated and welcome, all feelings she hadn't experienced in some time.

'Go on. Yell at her! Set her straight like before! None of that is true!' her mind continued to shout.

Yet, no words escaped her mouth. She wondered why. Why couldn't she speak her mind now of all times? Had the last few years done nothing but beat her down to the point where she could offer no resistance? Not a bit? It felt as if she was even more closed off than she used to be, a point that didn't get past Esmeralda, who didn't seem surprised and just shook her head.

"I'll be in the capital for a while assisting Her Majesty," she spoke as she stood up. "But once I see you again, we are going to work extensively on you. I'm not like your father, but if nothing else, I'm going to make sure you're presentable for whoever becomes your fiance. At this point, it's the only way you'll bring any honor to this family."

The more harmful memories of her father's abuse felt like they were coming back in full force at her mother's words. It left her paralyzed in her seat, barely able to offer any response. Her inability to do so gave her mother all the indication that their conversation was over. Their attempts at working anything else drew to a close, only further emphasized by the closing of the door as Esmeralda gave a quick goodbye and left her daughter to her own world again, all that work just left haphazardly on the table, barely even given a second thought.

You could hear the creaks of the house with how quiet the house was, only the occasional breathing of Bernadetta or any of the maids could be heard, particularly with all the knights outside. Bernadetta just trembled in her seat, fear overtaking every sense she had. Standing nearby, Mimi and Sara both wanted to run to her and ask if she needed anything, yet everyone stayed rooted in place.

The silence was broken when Bernadetta suddenly rose up from her seat, not making any emotional outburst like the last time something like this happened. Rather, she just turned around, her hair covering her eyes, and began to walk away, towards the staircase that would take her back upstairs and to her room.

"Lady Bernadetta?" Mimi finally spoke up, reaching towards Bernadetta.

"...Stay away," Bernadetta spoke oddly calmly, disturbing the maid a little.

"We can bring you something if you like," Sara offered, hoping to brighten the situation a little.

"I said stay away," Bernadetta replied more forcefully, not even giving another second before her heels could be heard going up the steps.

Mimi and Sara both winced as, eventually, the sound of a door slamming shut could be heard ringing all throughout the house. You could swear the place was still wobbling from how loud it was. The two young adults just looked at each other, each at a loss of how to handle this.

"This...this doesn't feel right," Mimi said.

"I agree," Sara nodded. "I can't stand to see her like this."

"You do realize that isn't our place, correct?" Bridgette crossed her arms and looked at the two. "We're just the caretakers. We have no business getting involved in the nobles affairs."

"I...I know that" Mimi stuttered a little. "But...Lady Bernadetta's a good person. We've had some good times together over these past few years. I don't want to see her destroy herself over this."

"Well...you do whatever you must. I won't stop you," Bridgette replied, turning away. "Just don't do anything that would inconvenience us."

"Yes ma'am," Sara replied this time, though she wasn't sure about the look on Mimi's face. She was concerned that her senior would do something drastic.

Meanwhile, Bernadetta just plopped onto her bed, face burying itself into her pillow. So that's how it was going to be. Her life was going to be given off to another, not even hers anymore. How fitting. She was worthless enough at it was. Likely just given off to whoever wanted her family's land while she just stayed in the estate like a trophy. Privacy would like by hard to find too, being expected to tend to her fiance's whim all times just as her father wanted. She could already imagine such a thing and it filled her throat with bile just at the thought of it. It'd be like substituting one cage for another, with the jail keeper just changing hands.

Looking out over how desolate her room looked, with writing supplies and crafts all over the place, she had never felt as alone as she did now.

Hopeless. Everything just felt hopeless.

---

"Lady Bernadetta, it's time for lunch,"

"Milady, would you like some tea?"

"Can we ready a bath for you?"

These were just some of the questions that generally followed a knock on Bernadetta's door in the days to come. A routine that neither of the mails were taking any enjoyment in.

The next few days were filled with even more silence than before if that was even possible. Bernadetta barely spoke a word to anyone around the house and was even resorting back to earlier habits of not even coming out for food, forcing the maids to bring it up for her. If anything, it was becoming even worse then before, with her barely even doing much of anything. Even getting her to bathe was getting harder, and she wouldn't even let them in to clean. Bernadetta had completely shut them out, with the only sounds coming from her room being occasional grumbling or whimpering.

Mimi and Sara weren't sure what the face was of someone who felt like they had nothing left in the world, but this situation had to be pretty close. If anything changed, Bernadetta was just going to waste away to nothing until her mother returned to take her away to be given off to someone. They might not even see her again after such a thing, another piece to worry about.

Inside her room, Bernadetta truly was doing nothing. Everything was scattered, with all her previous works just laying around as they were before. Barely a thought was spared towards actually picking them up. What was the point anyway? In time, it wouldn't matter in the slightest. She couldn't even appreciate her own work anymore, and it wasn't like anyone who appreciated it at Garreg Mach was around to either. Did any of them even remember her anymore? It was over four years after all. For all she knew, they had forgotten all about her. You'd think that'd be fine with her, given she was happier alone to begin with, yet all she could feel right now was emptiness, that she had nothing left for herself. All she could do right now was just lay on her bed, just staring blankly.

Eventually, more than a week had passed since Esmeralda's visit, and Mimi had just about had it. She had laid off, just hoping that Bernadetta might snap out of it on her own, but with the way things were going, she was reaching the end of her patience. It was clear that Bernadetta was in a dark place right now. Four years here plus the increasing presence of her mother had beaten her down, and things weren't looking to get any better, not with a war going on outside. Still, even with that, Mimi knew something had to change, one way or another. She couldn't dare imagine the thought of Bernadetta becoming so depressed that she'd do something drastic.

"Okay, I'm forcing myself in there if it's the last thing I do!" Mimi began heading up the stairs.

"Are you sure this is right?" Sara asked her as she trailed behind. "With how Lady Bernadetta has been, this might just make it worse."

"Well, I can't stay silent anymore," Mimi replied back. "I realize this may be beyond what we're supposed to be doing, but I'm not going to stand back. I'm going to tell Lady Bernadetta what I think."

"A-At least try to do it gently!" Sara tried to hold her back, but the slightly older girl wasn't having any of it. "I don't think knocking the door down is going to help!"

"Why not? Lady Bernadetta said one of her friends did the same thing back at Garreg Mach," Mimi replied as they reached the top of the steps.

"Pretty sure she also mentioned it scared her half to death," Sara replied.

"Well, even that would be an improvement," Mimi replied, before turning to her. "Don't tell her I said that."

Eventually, Mimi found herself right outside Bernadetta's room. Naturally, it was still locked as Mimi tried the simple method first. As expected, she'd have to do this the hard way. She motioned for Sara to join her, much to the younger girl's exasperation. This could go very well, very badly, or really really badly, and she felt like the latter two were more likely. Still, Mimi's gaze told her they were going to do this.

Meanwhile

Bernadetta was hardly even out of bed right now, just staring at her utter mess of a room. Her stomach rumbled constantly, but she just ignored it. She could just get something tonight when no one was around like usual. Many of her half-done works were all thrown around, almost making her floor a minefield. It probably hadn't received a good dusting in a while too. Yet, none of this seemed to bother her. It all just seemed pointless anyway. Eventually, she'd be taken from this room by her mother and probably never see any of this stuff again, so why bother?

KNOCK!

The loud resounding from her door actually got a slight reaction from her, making her pull her head up and lead at the door. That was considerably louder than other times the maids had knocked. It almost sounded more like something slamming it rather than knocking. She blinked a bit, hearing a silence grow after the initial knock on the door. All she could hear was the soft ticking of the clock and some muffled chatter on the other side of the door.

"What the..."

SLAM!

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

What followed was a rather humorous showing of the door giving way and both maids tumbling on the ground. The door itself wasn't completely totaled but would definitely need a little maintenance. As for the maids themselves, they ended up in a somewhat tangled mess. If Bernadetta wasn't presently screaming and cowering in her blanket, even she might have found it funny.

"Which leg is that?"

"That's mine! And would you kindly remove your arm?"

It took a little bit of time for the two of them to finally untangle themselves, having to straighten out their wayward clothes afterward with how much they looked disorganized. For her part, Bernadetta hadn't said much more, but still sat straight up cowering in her bed. This felt all the too familiar to a certain former Blue Lion knocking down her door at the academy and scaring her into training. Bernadetta wasn't exactly feeling much better at that memory.

"Apologies, Lady Bernadetta," Mimi adjusted herself. "We'll fix the door once our business is done."

"We'll fix the door?" asked Sara. "I didn't even want to do it in the first place!"

"Well now you have to," Mimi replied innocently. "You're better with woodwork than I am."

"Ugggggh,"

Bernadetta blinked at the two of them, absolutely stupefied at what she was looking at. It wasn't the first time Mimi and Sara had tried harder to get her out of her room for whatever reason, but this was a first even for them. They had never resorted to such tactics in the past.

"Um, w-what's going?" Bernadetta asked, her blanket still around her as she was sitting up.

Well, Mimi knew she had her attention now, though now she felt a little nervous now that she finally had her chance to get this off her mind. Of course, she was worried about how Bernadetta might react to having such a talk, but staying silent was out of the question. Mimi took a deep breath, Sara looking at her curiously. She wondered if perhaps Mimi was losing her nerve on the spot. Mimi could be surprisingly shy when it came to being forward with her thoughts, especially with multiple people around. Thankfully, Sara had an idea for that.

"Well, I should go look for some tools to repair the door," Sara excused herself, giving a not-so-subtle nod towards Mimi. "I'll leave it to you."

With that, she respectfully turned and left, leaving Bernadetta all the more confused as to what was going on, but a feeling of gratefulness from Mimi. This just left the two of them with no one else around to listen in. Mimi took just another few seconds to figure out how she wanted to phrase this.

"Milady..." Mimi spoke, trying to get her words out. A couple more seconds passed, and Mimi just got more frustrated, much to Bernadetta's confusion. "Okay, screw it, I'm just going to be frank. You really need to stop acting like this!"

The sudden increase in Mimi's voice surprised both her and Bernadetta, the latter a little more.

"H-Huh?" she asked.

"You...really need to stop staying in here all the time," Mimi took another breath. "Before, you at least came out for meals and to bathe, but you're not even doing that much anymore. I don't even see you practicing outside at night like you used to."

"Oh...that," Bernadetta sighed, now aware of what Mimi was getting at. "What's the point in any of it anyway? Soon enough, it won't matter."

"Why do you say that?" Mimi asked sternly. "Nothing is worth giving up what you love doing."

"You heard what my mother said. She'll marry me off soon enough," Bernadetta sighed. "And then I'll probably never be able to do much of anything again."

"But...you don't want that do you?" Mimi asked, looking around the dirty room. "You always looked like you were enjoying yourself when you were writing or sewing or...just about anything you did in here. You looked especially happy whenever you told us of your time at Garreg Mach."

"Yeah...that was nice," Bernadetta said, not looking any happier. "But they've probably all forgotten about me at this point. Not like I'm worth remembering to begin with."

Thinking about it reminded Bernadetta of the promised time to meet at Garreg Mach, just as every member of the Golden Deer vowed to do. She sometimes wondered if anyone would still follow it despite the war going on. Part of her thought they might, but even if they did, would she even want to go at this point? She barely knew anything outside of these four walls, while her old classmates have likely been out there in the world doing one thing or another.

Mimi wasn't surprised to hear such things, knowing Bernadetta's way of thinking about being here for a few years, but it didn't mean she was any less angry about it. Her hands were clenched into fists beneath her.

"That's not true!" Mimi raised her voice a little, making Bernadetta widen her eyes in response. "Any real friend wouldn't do such a thing. Even I know that much. And I don't think your friends would like you sitting in here."

Bernadetta felt a little annoyed at it. What would Mimi know of what happened when she saw her classmates for the last time? Or how her beloved professor disappeared even before that and no one had any idea if he was still alive. At this point, she was 90% convinced he was dead, and if by some miracle he wasn't, she wouldn't be surprised if he forgot her too.

"What do you know?" Bernadetta replied back. "You weren't there when everything went to hell. You never even knew me before I came here. So...I don't need you talking down to me."

Now, Mimi felt the urge to slap her, but kept the feeling buried deep as such an action would likely just make things worse. It wasn't out of complete anger, mostly out of some desire to knock that absurd thinking out of her head. However, her frustration was certainly visible, and Bernadetta's extra sense for such a thing picked up on it.

"Ah! Which part of that got you angry?!" Bernadetta cried out.

"All of it actually," Mimi replied bluntly. "You're right that you don't have much history with me or Sara. Still, that doesn't mean we don't care about you. Over these four years, we've actually had some good times together, and...I actually consider you more as a friend than someone to serve. I enjoyed hearing about your time at Garreg Mach over tea, and even getting to see some of your works. I even enjoyed the few times we went to town, like our errand trip a little while ago. Do you even remember the hairclip we got for you?"

That was probably also lost in the pile somewhere as far as Bernadetta knew, but that was beside the point for now. She wasn't sure how to reply to Mimi's words. In a certain sense, it kind of reminded her of how Dorothea or Leonie would try to talk to her. Dorothea had especially heard many of Bernadetta's more depressing thoughts, and always returned them with some optimistic remark or a joke. Leonie was always so self-assured when talking to her, always so praising about Bernadetta's skills. Come to think of it, quite a few students she knew were like that with her, even ones she shoved away. Not to mention Alois, who was one of few she felt comfortable around even before getting to talk to him.

And, of course, there was Byleth himself, who was always the most assuring when it came to her. Heck, there were often times he gave her assuring talks just like this, even when she claimed she never deserved his praise. Not once was he ever angry with her, despite how often she might have thought he was. Still, he wasn't here anymore, so what did it even mean.

"But that was then," Bernadetta grumbled. "What does it matter what happened back then? Everyone I did consider a friend is gone and I'll probably never see again if my mom has anything to say about it. I'm not like you or anyone else. I'm not brave. I'm not helpful. I'm just useless. Just something for my parents to give away. It's always been like that and nothing's going to change. So just...leave it alone."

Mimi sighed. Maybe she wasn't the right person for this after all. She so wanted to say that Bernadetta wasn't friendless, but her mouth couldn't say the words. There was only so much she could say compared to others, and it's not like she knew Bernadetta's friends in any way. But still, the years they had spent doing something every so often had to mean something, but nothing was getting through to Bernadetta right now.

"Well...even so, I still consider myself your friend," Mimi replied solemnly. "And...even if it's not worth much...I personally believe all your friends miss you, and your professor wherever he might be. I...I just think you should believe in that too. You're not useless. You're a good person, and that makes people want to help you. Even if I wasn't your maid, I'd still want to be your friend."

Bernadetta's eyes widened slightly, taking in Mimi's words. She didn't give an audible response, but she dipped her head slightly in thought. She still wondered why Mimi would want that, but at the same time, it reminded her so much of how persistent her old classmates were at times. Why did they spend so much time with someone as worthless as she was? Made no sense to her.

"I'll take my leave, milady," Mimi bowed respectfully before turning to leave, having felt she said her peace. However, she did turn back to add one more point. "Oh, and please, if nothing else, do come out for meals and to bathe. I'd like to be able to get the smell out of your room. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go find Sara so we can fix your door. I am sorry about that by the way."

In spite of herself, she added a little giggle to that, and Bernadetta's face went red from the smell insinuation. It was an oddly light-hearted end to a deep, if one-sided. conversation. With that, Mimi ultimately left Bernadetta back to her own devices, which left the young adult in a bit of confusion. What just happened? Was that a scolding? Didn't really feel like one.

As much as part of Bernadetta wanted to shove it aside and go back to bed, she found herself unable to, with Mimi's words of genuine friendship still swirling in her head.

---

Imperial Year 1185, Day 5 of the Horsebow Moon

It had been a couple more weeks since Mimi had barged into Bernadetta's room and given her one of the more awkward talks in her entire life. After that, it hadn't been brought up ever again. For a while, Mimi wasn't sure if her words were going to mean much, but she stayed true to her word and allowed Bernadetta to be after that. Nothing had changed for a couple of days afterward.

But, after what felt like forever, Bernadetta actually did emerge from her room. All she did was walk downstairs to eat before returning back to her room, but actually seeing her at the table eating brought a wave of relief to both maids. Of course, the fact that she still looked very disheveled and very much could use a wash was still evident, but that was a small issue compared to her finally walking around. Even the fact that she didn't even speak to them didn't bother them. She was only doing bare minimum in terms of actually keeping herself clean though, which was a slight bother.

"What am I doing?" Bernadetta murmured to herself at one point, to which she wasn't sure if she was asking a serious question or being rhetorical.

Mimi's words had thrown her for a loop, and left her heavily conflicted. It had knocked some life back into her, but that life still had no direction to go. Her mother wanted to take it in a way she wanted, and while Bernadetta knew she didn't want that, she didn't know what else she could do. Her brain just wasn't fully making the connection between Mimi's words and what she should do with her life. And for a while, she didn't seem to be in a hurry to figure it out.

And so, days had quietly passed on. Affairs around the house were as quiet as ever. Esmeralda had yet to return, and Bridgette had gotten a notice that it would probably be a while until she did, maybe months. Basically, she might remain in Enbarr until the end of the war. Guess that gave Bernadetta a little bit of reprieve time until she would figure something out.

However, you could never underestimate how one night could change everything.

"Sigh...another day," Bernadetta yawned, slipping on her nightgown as she trudged through her messy room.

She still hadn't put anything away, leading to her walking around everything, not like she wasn't used to it at this point. That aside though, she felt like at least looking out at the stars for a bit. It was a nice clear night tonight, if a little cold with the later months of the year arriving, of which her thin nightgown provided little protection from. Still, it wasn't bad feeling the night air for a bit, and she got a nice view of the front of the house whenever it struck the mood.

Which brought her attention to something peculiar. Many of the knights her mother had left her seemed to be conversing among themselves, as if being sortied in a hurry. Many of them were beginning to march out, and she could pick out occasional words like some sort of incident was going on. Bernadetta couldn't quite pick up on what was happening exactly though. Fortunately for her, Sara happened to be coming by on her usual rounds.

"Uh, Sara?" Bernadetta called out.

"Yes, milady?" Sara replied as she turned to face her.

"What's happening outside?" she asked.

"I'm not sure on the details myself, but I heard a mention of bandits nearby," Sara replied, which made Bernadetta jump a little. "I don't think it'll be too much issue. They're far away enough that it shouldn't affect us. You can rest easy."

"Y-Yeah..." Bernadetta sighed.

Bandits, huh? Boy, that sure took her back. She couldn't even count how many she had to take down back at Garreg Mach. No doubt her old friends probably had dealt with many of them over the past few years. Meanwhile, she was still just sitting here, not having done a thing. Still, what could she do? Taking on bandits was scary, no matter how many she had faced.

"Well, good night milady," Sara bowed before turning to leave, wanting to finish up her remaining duties.

Bernadetta gave a small good night before getting herself into bed. However, she couldn't get to sleep at all, just sitting upright as she stared at the ceiling. It was the Horsebow Moon now, which meant only 3 months until what would have been the Millenium Festival, and the promised day between her classmates. Honestly, Bernadetta had thought so little about it that she wasn't sure whether she should try to go. Leaving the house felt like something out of the question. It was scary out there, and she was relatively safe here, even if caged. Ugh, it was the same circles her mind had gone in for a while now.

After a minute, Bernadetta began to fall asleep.

BAM!

Bernadetta's eyes suddenly shot open, hearing a loud noise from down below.

"What was that?!" she cried to herself, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

Loud noises continued all throughout the lower floor of the house, louder than anything she had heard since coming here. There were numerous cries, some sounded like the knights that were still around, which were becoming more like shouts. Bernadetta wondered what they were talking about until there was something that formed a pit at the bottom of her stomach.

CLASH! CLANG! CLASH!

Bernadetta cried to herself, instinctively moving away from the door. The sound of weapons, and not the kind you hear during training. The commotion being caused reminded Bernadetta so much of the many trips her class took to eliminate bandits or some such. It was a startling mix of nostalgia and fear, and Bernadetta didn't like either one.

"W-Why is this happening here?!" she cried again, not sure what to do. Maybe she could just find a good spot to hide in here. Her room was enough of a mess to find a spot somewhere...

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Bernadetta's ears perked up. That was Mimi's voice no doubt about it. Whatever was going on had to be really scary. She really wanted to retreat into some spot within her room, yet the whereabouts of Mimi, Sara, and the others kept her rooted in place. She was worried about whether they were okay or not, to which that scream wasn't a good sign. Her hand was actually lingering above the doorknob, inches away from grabbing hold and going out to check.

"I'm scared..." Bernadeta groaned to herself. Yet, the thought of the others in danger reminded her so much of whenever her classmates were in trouble back at Garreg Mach. Even when hiding, she couldn't resist helping when one of them was in danger of being killed. Taking a gulp, and only really being half invested in it, she gulped and opened the door.

Immediately once she did though, she was greeted with a horrible sight. From the little view she had of downstairs, it was a complete melee, with the unmistakable clash of bandits versus knights, the latter of which there weren't many of given Sara's earlier comment. Scared out of her wits, Bernadetta hung around the entrance to her room, clinging to the side of it.

"Oh no..." she cried to herself. "T-This is horrible!"

Almost right on cue, Bernadetta felt someone stumbling towards her. Looking to her right, she saw Sara running her way, the maid out of breath as she was making her way over. The girl's face was completely pale, awash with fear entirely.

"Milady!" Sara cried as she got over to Bernadetta, said girl helping to hold her up on her unsteady legs. "You need to run!"

"W-Why's that?!" Bernadetta asked back. Didn't sound like a bad idea, but she was curious as to why Sara said that specifically.

"T-They're...t-they're..." Sara struggled to get the words out.

"TAKE EM' DOWN BOYS!" roared someone from down stairs, likely a bandit. "Find the little noble girl even if you have to tear the place down!"

Bernadetta's face immediately paled. Little noble girl? Well, there was only one person in these parts who fit that specific description. For all of her life, there had never been such a brazen attack on her, not even when she was a kid as far as she knew. All of that was beside the point though. This was no nightmare. This was very real, and Bernadetta was quickly becoming aware of how she was now the sole target of an attack.

"Ahh...ahh...ahhhhhhhh!" Bernadetta cried to herself, retreating slightly. Oh, this wasn't good. This was bad. Oh so very bad!

"Bridgette and Mimi are trying to help wherever they can. I'm completely useless in a fight," Sara said depressingly. "They must have planned this out. I bet the other knights were drawn away as a diversion. We diverted too many of them to protect this place."

Bernadetta processed Sara's words. There were likely a decent amount of bandits around, probably even some outside to prevent anyone escaping. Getting away on her own would be hard to do, and it sounded like even trying to hide it out somewhere in here wouldn't be any good if they tore the house down. It didn't seem like a very good situation no matter how you sliced it.

"What do I do? What do I do?!" Bernadetta cried to herself, putting her hands on her head. "Oh Professor, what do I do?!"

As if invoking the name of her professor would help her much here. What would Byleth do in this situation? Well, he likely wouldn't hide as she would. If anything, he'd jump right in, already with a strategy in mind. Bernadetta didn't have much of a mind for that though, but even so, it felt like there was a part of her keeping her from running into some hiding spot or planning an escape. Seeing the frightened Sara beside her, Bernadetta felt like she couldn't just leave her. Such a thing would be cruel. Still, her own fear and indecision were holding her in place.

"Don't sell yourself short, Bernadetta," Bernadetta's eyes popped open as the voice of her professor went through her mind. "I believe you have the potential to become very strong."

One of many words Byleth spoke to her over the course of the school year, over the many times he watched her both on the battlefield and in the classroom. She remembered how she always got a warm feeling when he praised her, once she stopped wondering what he was planning and realizing that he was always genuine with his praise.

"But...what can I do?" she said to herself. If there was nowhere she could hide or escape, then there was only one route to take: to fight. Probably the scariest option to take, but the only one she could think of, and to be honest, seeing Sara so scared made her not want to leave her on her own.

Well, given the situation, a weapon would be a good start. Would probably also be a good idea to be wearing anything but her thin nightgown but she didn't exactly have time for that. The garment went to a little above her ankles, so it wasn't long enough to the point where she'd trip, and she could move decently well in it. Still a little embarrassing to think about but that was beside the point for now. So, weapon it was.

"S-Sara!" Bernadetta stumbled a little. "Get inside and stay there!"

"Huh?!"

Sara suddenly found herself getting pushed inside Bernadetta's room by way of Bernadetta herself, before said girl ran over to the messy piles of her room. Her bow had to be lost in here somewhere, and she had little time to search before the bandits got further into the house. She ran right over to the side of her room where she was sure it was, tossing over some discarded clothes and leftover sewing scraps that had accumulated. Thankfully for her, it wasn't too long until she found her bow, covered in dust but well intact.

"Lady Bernadetta!" Sara cried out once she saw what Bernadetta had. "What are you thinking?"

"I thinking that I'm probably crazy!" Bernadetta replied, not exactly the look of confidence. "But...I can't just leave you."

"But it's too dangerous!" Sara replied back. "Don't get yourself hurt for our sake. We're supposed to be guarding you."

For all of Bernadetta's previous thoughts of not having any friends, she couldn't bear the thought of losing the people who actually had looked over her for these past few years. Mimi and Sara even put up with her depressed behavior and never really reprimanded her for it. It felt so much like her old classmates. Did it really take the way until now for that fact to get through her head?

"Don't worry Bern. If anyone gets close, I'll smack them for you."

"Better to be attacker than prey. Bernie can be good attacker if stop hiding."

"I'll cover your back if you cover mine. We'll be unstoppable!"

Dorothea. Petra. Leonie. So many people she knew that said such things in situations like this over that one year together. Just the thought of it was actually comforting, feeling like she really did have people looking out for her. The thought of it was almost enough to bring tears to her eyes. Why was it so long that she could finally hear her friends voices again, even if just in her head.

Looking outside the room, Bernadetta took a deep breath, before giving a look back towards Sara with a wary smile. This was totally crazy no matter how you looked at it, but, for once, Bernadetta didn't want to hide and leave people she liked to their fates. A painful separation was already something she had gone through in the past.

Not again. Even if she was scared, she was resolved to prevent such a thing. Something had finally sparked within her.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "I might be scared out of my wits, but I won't let them take this house."

And so, with barely a clue as to what she was doing and probably going into a suicidal run, Bernadetta ran out of her room, bow and arrow in hand.

---

CLIFFHANGER!

Yeah, that's a first for this story, but I felt like including part of that last event in this chapter was necessary to give the chapter more meat. However, I don't like super long chapters. I'd rather not force you guys to read 20k word chapters. 15k is a decent enough number to target around to keep things meaty enough.

And that's finally done. Hopefully, this return to the main story worked out for everyone. Sentinel07, out.