AN: Thank you to the extraordinary beta of this fic, ASadAir, who just back-to-back edited chapters. At last, I have a couple more chapters written and I am working on the ending :)
Dan's spring semester begins to flash by in a blur of flashcards and papercuts. By late March, the wispy study-induced wounds scattering Dan's hands have smoothed over. Glancing at his outstretched hands, he thinks he likes these faint battle scars from his quiz sessions with Blair, although lately he's been wondering how he didn't realize the sheer intensity of her study schedule sooner.
As the semester goes on, her iron-clad armor that had appeared over winter break seems to be disintegrating, layer by layer. There are still moments where he's sensed he's tested the boundaries of her walls too far, like when he asked her what would realistically happen if her GPA slipped. Or the time he mentioned that Lily overfunded him for supplies this semester and he could use the surplus to cover some of her books. She didn't speak to him for three days that time. In hindsight, that wasn't exactly a sound suggestion, nor did he offer it delicately.
Still, he has yet to find a way to truly lift the economic burden that she seems to carry. However, he knows that when he finds a more anonymous way to alleviate her financial worries, he won't hesitate to wield it.
But he's learning to sense exactly when her defenses will rise to the occasion, allowing him to back off. At times he feels like he's walking a precipitous tightrope to the faraway destination of earning her friendship, and he can't help but wonder how much the inevitable fall might wreck him.
"Wreccum." Blair snaps him back to the present. "That one was too easy, pay attention to the color coding. Step it up."
Dan groans. "It's midnight, isn't your brain as scrambled as mine?"
"Nope!" Blair remains chipper as she urges him to quiz her on another flashcard. He straightens, remembering that if this is the only way she's allowing him to ease some of her scholarship concerns, then this is what he shall commit to. "Let's do sentences and phrases."
"Acta deos numquam mortalia fallunt." Dan reads off from the card.
"Mortal actions never deceive the gods." Blair translates effortlessly. As she sinks back against the wall, he notices she looks less stressed than at the beginning of the semester.
"You're going to get an A tomorrow, you know that right?" Dan asks.
"One can never be too certain, Dan." She pauses. "If you're tired you can go. I can keep studying on my own."
He shakes his head and flips the next card. "Qui totum vult totum perdit."
She smiles and then replies, "He who wants everything loses everything."
"Correct again."
They fall into a comfortable rhythm and by the time the room is lit by only moonlight, their eyelids fall heavy. At last, Blair says it's time to call it a night.
The flashcards hit her nightstand with a soft thud and she sinks back against the wall. Turning toward him she says, "Thank you."
"I should be thanking you." He gives her a wry smile. "I'll be fluent in Latin soon."
"Perhaps." Her drowsy face transforms into a smile. The small space between them seems to shrink as her hand reaches across toward his in slow motion. "But it's me who owes you."
As her hand clasps over his gently - the ruffled lavender comforter beneath, he suddenly feels a surge awaken him from his fatigue. He gingerly flips his hand over to link their hands properly, and the unfamiliarity of it all is immediately overwhelmed by the feeling of how right it felt. "You have me, you know. You can trust me. Anytime you feel stressed, I'm here."
She nods hesitantly. "I'm not the greatest at trusting, but I'm trying."
Her eyes meet his and he knows it's the truth. The clarity he sees in them dispels his confusion of her sudden distance over winter break - the foggy shadow Georgina had cast over their friendship has now dissipated. With her gone, this bond feels infinitely more tangible.
Exhaustion seems to roll over her like a tide and he sees how badly she needs sleep. He locks onto the feeling of her hand in his for one more moment before letting go. "I value your trust, I hope you know that. Now, as your trusted friend I am going to insist you go to sleep."
Standing, he gathers up his messenger bag and throws it over his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you." It comes out as a whisper as she begins to rise then thinks better of it. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Blair."
As he walks home, he can still feel the warmth of her hand in his, lingering like an embrace.
The light streaming into Blair's room the following morning alerts her to the fact she's overslept. Remembering that it's Friday and she doesn't have an early class, she lets out a relieved sigh. Sitting up and sipping water from the glass bottle beside her bed, she retraces the moments before she fell asleep.
She recalls a feeling of exhaustion so deep from the long hours of studying that reduced her to an almost drunken stupor, so she can't quite trust the snapshot of her hand sliding over Dan's and her letting him in further than she's let anyone in years.
Letting her eyes shut for a moment, she mentally rewinds the night. As she replays her braver self, crossing the empty space between them to grasp his hand, she feels the buzzing in her chest grow stronger.
Her immediate reaction is to chide herself for letting her guard down, but then she recalls his sincerity as he told her that she had him. Never truly having anyone, not to herself at least, she is struck by the weight of the sentiment.
Forcing herself to begin the day and stop ruminating, she rushes to get ready with enough time to spare to grab coffee on the way to class. She grabs Dan a double shot of espresso instead of his usual single to account for the late night and sticks with her usual bone-dry cappuccino.
Her stomach betrays her and lurches when she sees him standing outside of film class. She clenches the coffee cups harder, letting the heat scald away the memory of her bold gesture.
"Tell me you got more than four hours sleep." Dan takes the espresso and eyes hers skeptically. He tests the weight of it. "Your usual, I'll take that as a yes."
"Eight hours in fact." She shakes off the anxious sensation that's come over her. "A new record."
"It shows."
She senses the compliment in that statement and smiles.
In class, they quickly swap from conversation to note passing. With every slip of the note paper his way, she waits for the moment that their fingertips graze. It's once it happens for the fourth time in a row that she starts to wonder if it's not just her that's craving contact.
Blair momentarily understands the great lengths Epperly has been going to get closer to Wally. There have been rumblings of a proper double date with Colin but Blair starts to think about trying out honesty and vulnerability for once. If she expressed to Epperly the way things have been shifting between Dan and her, her friend would likely back off.
A tapping sound snaps Blair out of her contemplation. He's resumed his grating habit of fingertip drumming in the absence of her returning a note. She smiles ruefully now and realizes that it doesn't bother her so much anymore.
She picks up her pen and writes, You did that during orientation, Ringo.
Ringo? Not John Bonham?
Who's that?
Never mind, I didn't know you remembered me from that day.
How could I forget?
Me or Georgina?
Both. Blair adds, You remember me?
You had on a headband and looked supremely annoyed.
That sounds about right, I was.
But you don't seem annoyed anymore…
I suppose I'm not. Not when you're around at least. Imagine that?
Imagine.
The note gets safely tucked in between the pages of Blair's textbook by the end of class. Afterward, Epperly is waiting outside. "Hey B, hey Dan. B, ready for our test?"
"Yes, although I may have overdone it on studying. If that's possible."
"It is." Dan agrees.
"Someday we'll teach her to have fun." Epperly links her arm through Blair's. "Come on, let's go get you your A. See you later, Dan."
"Bye Dan." Blair waves as she's unwillingly pulled away by her friend.
Once they are out of earshot, Blair says, "So I was thinking about Colin..."
Epperly's face immediately lights up so Blair continues more quickly. "I don't think I can commit to that double date. It doesn't feel right."
Pouting, Epperly says, "Why not?"
Blair hesitates, focusing on the shine of her patent oxfords as they cross the cobblestone road. "I don't have a connection with him-" She hesitates. "Secondarily, I am concerned that he could interfere with my friendship with Dan."
"I knew it." Epperly looks irritatingly smug as they stop a few feet from the doors to class.
"Don't be presumptuous." Blair interrupts. "All I am saying is that I'd like to keep my options open."
"Sure…" Epperly is full of sarcasm as they enter the class and quieten for the test that awaits them.
Blair walks out of Latin that afternoon significantly lighter as she thanks herself for committing to studying so hard. Striding through the hallway to her dorm, she texts to confirm her plans with Nelly tomorrow to work on their English project.
When she looks up she sees Dan standing in front of her door. Her cheeks flush thinking of her conversation with Epperly. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she aims for a casual tone. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought you would want to hear my news in person." Dan's tone is upbeat but still her skin chills at the thought it could be a Georgina-related update.
Her hand freezes and she halts opening the door. "Oh God, dare I enter?"
He laughs and pushes it open for her, leaning over her shoulder. She feels the warmth of him behind her and her skin tingles as he gently brushes against her to show her the empty dorm. "It's good news. After you…"
Once they are inside, they sink down on the couch that Raina kindly replaced Georgina's bed with. She insisted that it was effortless to have it delivered from her family's penthouse and that no one would miss it. Blair has been relieved to no longer have to worry about Georgina to have a bed to return to.
Dan pulls out his phone and swipes to a photo of a very smudge-eyed Georgina in what appears to be a mugshot. Blair gasps. "Serena sent me this. I guess she got caught with drugs in her bag at JFK. Karma exists after all."
"I really shouldn't feel happy about this but-" Blair smirks. "It does comfort me to know that the world has proven that evil will not triumph. I should ask, how bad is it?"
Dan grimaces slightly. "It's bittersweet. After a night in a very grimy holding cell she was bailed out and will likely get community service as punishment."
"What a picture - Georgina in bright orange cleaning up the side of a freeway." Blair leans back and lets out a satisfied smile. "I suppose I need not worry about her coming back around anytime soon."
"You are officially free, I'd say." Dan puts away his phone and stands. "That's all I stopped by for, I don't want to keep you from studying."
"It's going to be a bit difficult to study now. I have too much energy." Blair glances at him. "What are you doing tonight?"
"I was just going to read but I could be persuaded otherwise."
"What do people do on campus besides studying and drinking? I don't feel like doing the latter but I'm firmly against studying at the moment."
"Most fellow scholars partake in the fine arts on campus. We could go see a dance performance, view an art showing, listen to acapella, or watch the debate in half an hour."
Blair stares at him awestruck. "Is it safe to say I've been missing out on obtaining a well-rounded Yale experience?"
"A bit." He gives her an optimistic smile. "It's not too late to remedy that."
"Let's start with the art showing."
Dan guides her to a part of campus she hasn't even glanced at on the map she received at orientation. Once inside the makeshift gallery they meander the halls observing the Impressionist-themed works.
With only a few other students wandering through, it's mostly their space until more classes are let out. Blair lets herself imagine for a moment that a date would not be too different. They discuss the works, each pointing out their favorites and drawing more well-known comparisons.
By the time they leave, the gallery is full and Blair feels alive with the campus energy she's long neglected. "Should I get out more often?"
Dan grins at her wryly, his teeth glimmering in the ashy light of dusk. "For the sake of getting the full Yale experience, yes."
"What next?"
He subtly glances at his watch and she realizes he likely has better things to do than playing tour guide. She quickly adds, "Unless you need to get back and read."
"Reading can wait. I was just seeing if the game had started." He places a hand at her elbow to redirect her in the opposite direction. "How do you feel about football?"
"Not great."
"How about rivalry with Brown?"
"That I can get behind." Blair responds. "Everyone knows that the only real Ivys are the Holy Trinity, of which Brown does not belong."
"Okay then." Dan looks pleased. "We can check off another experience of the college bucket list; a football game."
Dan pays for her ticket without giving her a second to object. She forgets Georgina's dig about his penchant for charity cases and instead finds herself bubbling with the sort of excitement that only a first date can generate. Trying to remind herself this is merely a gesture of friendship, she finds a curtain of denial slowly falling away in the crevices of her consciousness.
She notes the way he sits close enough so that his onyx jean-clad legs brush her bare thighs, and the way he looks over every so often to check that she still is enjoying the game - she is, Brown is getting demolished. She definitely can't miss the way he lingers for just a moment at her door after saying goodnight.
When she's inside, she lets her mind wander into a cinematic version of the moment in which she bravely captures his lips in hers. Her stomach flutters at the thought.
Even without a kiss, today was, undoubtedly, the best day of her entire college experience.
TBC...
Thank you for reading!