I left the plane very awake even though it was 5 in the morning. It was the first time I visited the Fire Nation, my passport had stamps only from the Earth Kingdom and the South Pole port.
The time we waited for the suitcase on the airport side I had a hard time looking at it. I was ashamed of the way I held onto his arm during the landing… in my defense, the take-off had had no effect on me.
A car was already waiting for us at the airport exit and this driver also helped me carry the suitcase to the trunk. I barely heard what Zuko was saying, amused by looking out the window at the activity of a city that was just beginning to wake up.
Once we got to the hotel, he came down with me. I wasn't sure if the nerves in my stomach were because I wanted him to come up to the room with me, or because I was afraid he would. Finally, he commissioned an employee to accompany me, carrying my suitcase, and said goodbye to me outside the elevator.
"I'll see you here at Reception at two." He shook my hand before the door closed.
This room was as luxurious as the one in the White Lotus, but smaller and without a jacuzzi; I was less sore from the plane ride than I was from the bus to Omashu, although the flight lasted a good eight hours. So even though I immediately lay down, it was difficult to sleep.
What am I doing here?
The third time I rolled over in bed with that same question, I gave up and got up to turn on the television, which did little to distract me.
More important than that, why do I feel so good about being here?
I would have to be prostrate with grief, regretting the fight with my husband, pondering what I could do to remedy my marriage. Instead, I found myself in the middle of an expedition requested by the same man who sparked my fight with Aang. Without regretting my presence here or regretting it in the least, I might add.
It struck eight, and the buffet that Zuko had mentioned as included with the room gave me a chance to distract myself. The last few weeks I had gotten used to eating breakfast alone. No, "get used to" no, rather "desensitize"; I had always been accompanied by Aang, Sokka or Grandma, or everyone. It was especially strange having breakfast alone outside the home.
Without much else to do, I went back upstairs and those lonely hours came unexpectedly well for me. Rather than rest, they allowed me to think about things that I had not even wanted to contemplate at home, despite the abundance of hours alone there.
Beneath the sadness, the pain over Aang's escape… I was very angry. And even lower beneath that, I was hurt. When he took his things, he could at least leave a note, but nothing. I had no idea where he was, if he was okay, if I would be able to contact him at some point. He escaped without offering an apology, an explanation, or even a "I need some time." He just disappeared.
Family at the South Pole was the most important thing, what historically helped us survive. When I married Aang, I accepted him as my family. To family, you entrusted your life. Unconditional support, respect for promises, the certainty that they were there for you.
He was gone. Taking his things was like reneging on the promise of "family" to me. But was it fair to hold him to the standards of a culture that was not his own?
Yes, because he knows what it meant.
I felt helpless and disoriented. I hated the days of inaction, of standing still and waiting. That was perhaps why the need to accept this journey was so strong. The most childish and petty part of me wished a little that Aang would decide to look for me these days, so that he would not find me in the house, to see if he liked feeling what I felt.
What if he was looking for me, back home? If not?
Although it was going to be a fortune, I followed the instructions on the phone to call Yue, who had no news of Aang. Then Suki, and Grandma.
"An opportunity arose in Caldera. For work," I said cheerfully.
"I'm glad, my little one. Did Aang go with you?
"No, he stayed in Chin City," I believed, at least. So much for the hope that, not being at home, he would look for me with my family.
And while being alone was strange, it was also curiously liberating.
I still had a residual concern over Zuko's request, but if anything could be said about him, it was that I had never received less than courteous action from him, regardless of my own tone when speaking to him. He had always given me options.
One more question remained; How did he feel about Zuko?
I blushed as I thought back to the night on the yacht. Attraction was one of the ingredients and I was sure it wasn't the only one, although I had no idea what the others were.
I was afraid that maybe the attraction combined with the novelty was what made him so attractive in my eyes. It couldn't be anything else, could it? I bit my lip. That was something I didn't feel ready to face. Only time would tell.
I went down fifteen minutes before the hour to wait for him to arrive. I pretended to be distracted by one of the available magazines, but my gaze was constantly focused on the entrance, waiting for the now familiar appearance of Zuko.
Once I located him, I put the magazine on the table and walked over to him.
"Are you ready?" he seemed to hesitate for a moment before offering his arm to me, like that night, back in Omashu.
I nodded and accepted the support, all too aware of the parts of my skin touching the fabric of his jacket. He led me to the car that picked us up from the airport and opened the door for me before giving the driver instructions. He deliberately avoided saying the name of the restaurant.
"Is it going to be another Jasmine Dragon?" I scoffed, half seriously. I would be uncomfortable in a fancy restaurant despite my more or less new green cotton dress.
"No, I actually know another restaurant here that I want to take you to," he countered with a smile. "You cannot come to Caldera without trying the typical food."
Against what I had feared, we arrived at a small restaurant, with red-painted wooden walls and modest plank tables. The menu consisted almost entirely of noodles, in many different preparations.
We settled in one of the tables to wait for our order.
"The first time I came, my uncle brought me." He smiled, as if seeing a good memory. "He always has recommendations on what has to do with food and drink, especially when it comes to tea."
"You seem very close to your uncle," I regretted the question immediately when I saw his smile falter for an instant.
"When that happened…" He pointed to his left eye and looked away, "he was the one who took care of me at the hospital and then took me with him. He wanted to take my sister too, but my father wouldn't allow it. The argument was that he did not have much money and that he suffered from his mental faculties…"
So this was what I saw in his eyes on the night of the yacht. It was horrible, and he hadn't even mentioned his mother's disappearance, although I was surprised that he had a sister. With my heart heavy with compassion and empathy, I reached for his hand and he was startled.
"At least you had him." He shook my hand back, apologetically.
"Sorry. I don't want to burden you with the whole depressing story of my family. Anyway, since I was 13 I have lived with my uncle and it is the best thing that could happen to me" he tried to smile.
"He must be a great person," my companion nodded enthusiastically. It seemed wise to change the subject, I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or think he was invading his privacy. "Tell me more about what we'll be doing this afternoon."
Our drinks arrived and I took a sip. It was heavenly and I closed my eyes for an instant. There weren't that many tropical fruits in Chin City. He seemed relieved.
"Sure… In the annual budget, the company designated an amount for "social responsibility" in the places that we have buildings. At the beginning of the year a call was opened and basically, this afternoon and tomorrow morning many candidates will come to present their proposals" his hands ran around the outline of his own glass, but he spoke without hesitation. "It will be the two of us, my assistant Ty Lee and two other members of the board of directors. Our job will be to listen and ask questions. Tomorrow afternoon, we discuss and decide how the resources will be applied."
The food arrived and the restaurant owner himself came over. Apparently he was close friends with Mr. Iroh, I finally learned the name of Zuko's uncle, and appreciated the visit of the nephew with "such a lovely lady." Said nephew turned the red of the wall. He must have been older than me, but he was still blushing like a teenager and was… oddly endearing.
After lunch, we took the car and all the way to the Fire Corp. building, I couldn't stay still. This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to learn in college. I was dying to do a good job, even though all I really had was good will.
The Fire Corp. building rose to the lowest clouds, all covered in gleaming dark glass windows. As soon as we walked in, a couple of things became clear to me: One, Zuko wasn't very good with people, and two, all of his employees seemed to adore him despite that. It took us a while to reach the elevator because of all the people stopping to greet him, and by extension, greet me.
Finally, we reached a high-floor reception, where we were greeted by a young woman dressed in a tailored pink tailored suit and stilettos.
"Katara, this is Ty Lee, my friend and assistant without whom this entire building would collapse." There was genuine affection and pride in his gaze towards her. I stifled the sudden, inexplicable pang of jealousy as best I could.
"Hello!" Ty Lee's braid swayed from side to side with glee. "I'm so glad you could come, of all of us Zuzu is the only one who has been to the South Pole and it was like two hours, in which he managed to get into a fight."
"Why am I not surprised, Zuzu ?" I turned to see him, emphasizing a certain sarcasm in his nickname. My gesture smoothed down to one of slightly strained politeness to answer Ty Lee. "I'm also glad to be here."
"Please come in. It's almost time for the first team to start." Ty Lee glanced at a nearby group of three boys who were nervously squeezing a set of scrolls and staring at us with wide eyes.
I followed my hosts through another door, where an older man was already waiting for us.
"Mr. Shyu, thank you for your punctuality. Will Mr. Kaja be here soon?" Zuko questioned as he entered.
"I received the bad news that you will not be able to accompany due to health issues, nothing serious." The man got to his feet with some difficulty. "I don't think it will be a problem, especially since we're getting more feedback."
He smiled benevolently in my direction and I stepped forward.
"Nice to meet you, my name is Katara Hannak." I held out my hand and he shook it. "I hope I can be of help."
"I'm sure you will." From the table, he picked up a pile of sheets that piled up in front of him. "I took the liberty of preparing this rubric to evaluate the projects, there is a space for notes. After the presentation, we can ask the presentators any questions."
"If you like, I'll let the first ones in," Ty Lee offered, and Zuko nodded. Meanwhile, he guided me to one of the chairs, next to him. On his other side was Lord Shyu.
The nervous group outside walked in, preceded by Ty Lee who sat next to me, and one of them introduced them while another held out their posters.
"We titled our project 'Snow Paradise'" The one who presented was the only one out of the three who didn't seem nervous. "Our vision is to create a tourist complex on land close to the beaches that has everything that guests require to do a wide range of activities. To achieve this, the plan is divided into three phases. In the first, the hotel building with a restaurant and thirty rooms, a dock for eight boats and the spa will be built."
He was pointing out the plans and different illustrations on his posters.
"For phase two, once the flow of capital begins to stabilize, the construction of another building, the second restaurant and the bar will be done. In the medium-long term, since at least 50% of the initial investment has been recovered, work will be done on infrastructure for professional skiing, since the snow at the South Pole is of excellent quality for winter sports. Sadly, it is underused due to the lack of infrastructure to receive tourists."
They spent the next time explaining the information that was in the pamphlets, the three construction phases complete with budgets and the promise of creating at least 150 permanent jobs in the first two years.
I furiously wrote down on Mr. Shyu's rubric, though I had no questions. My observations were more about how everything would fit together between the people of the South Pole. Instead, the others did question the team about budgets and dates.
"What do you think?" Once the team had said goodbye, Zuko leaned into my notes and his arm brushed mine. "You didn't ask anything."
"The financial part is your business." I didn't look away from my sheets, it was simpler. "After seeing the other proposals, I will have more idea of what to advise."
"Mai prefers cold weather. If we choose this project, when it is finished I have to take her there !" Ty Lee, on my other side, jotted something on her sheet with great joy.
"Mai is his girlfriend," Zuko whispered to me.
"Oh," I gave her an apologetic smile that she couldn't see. I couldn't explain that bolt of jealousy from before.
"Next one?" Ty Lee asked. Zuko nodded and she let another group pass, this one of four people.
After introducing themselves, they gave us a set of sheets with the title "Sanctuary of the Southern Lights". Camp style, the place was also focused on tourism.
"The public to whom the proposal is directed is adventure tourists. Prepare a part of the forest for camping, create trails and have facilities for medical care and research of local fauna. There is already a section prepared for camping, with limited cabins. We are in contact with them."
I looked closely at their posters. It seemed that their bet was focused on promoting the Glacier Festival, held every year, to attract more tourists, as well as the southern auroras that we went to look for. Once as children, and another time when Sokka turned 18.
"With construction completed in a year or less, the project becomes self-sustaining in five years." That was a huge improvement over the previous project, and I wrote it down.
There were some questions, but in fact I knew the camp they worked with; I was beginning to feel a preference for that project. After they came out, I did some stretches on my chair, somehow three hours had already passed.
"Last one for today." Ty Lee stifled a yawn, the only sign of weariness on her attitude, before going to the door and letting the team pass.
That project was about starting a more effective trade in the fishing that was done in the South Pole.
"With a mixture of industrial and traditional methods, we plan to increase the production of fish and products such as sea plums, algae and sustainable exploitation of tiger seals for meat and skins, whose quality is known worldwide," explained the presenter, leaving on our table a sample of hides tanned in different ways. "The same ships will serve to carry the products to the ports of the Earth Kingdom for distribution."
The budget was as high as the first project. Ships were expensive.
"An additional benefit is that, by being present in the waters, we can help monitor and reduce the problems of smuggling illegal goods and native species, which are among the most serious in the South Pole," she finished triumphantly.
"It's an excellent craft," I congratulated the girl by returning her fur sampler. "Where do you have the workshops?"
"Near the Shipwreck," she answered, smiling. "My grandparents started their workshop. Part of the budget is to hire more employees and to start exporting loafers, coats and other clothes."
A couple of interventions later, they said goodbye too. Instead, a person loaded with sandwiches entered that apparently would be our dinner and what the other three seemed already used to.
"I know the real discussion is tomorrow, there's still a project left. Out of these three, what do you think?" Zuko asked, before taking a bite of his food.
"Neither competes with the other, the tourism ones are for different audiences," Mr. Shyu was the first to speak. "Fishing is well thought out in its business model, but it exceeds our budget by a visible margin."
"The fishing and the 'Sanctuary' involve the community. They seem better to me." I leaned back on the table. I refused to let exhaustion interrupt me, and the food was helping to wake me up a bit.
"The audience for 'Paradise' makes a lot of money," Ty Lee pointed out. "Especially since the prices would be lower than at the Earth Kingdom winter resorts."
"This is what I mean, the three projects are not in competition with each other." Mr. Shyu put a hand on his gray beard, where there were now some breadcrumbs. "Dividing the budget that we have would give a good start for the 'Sanctuary' but it would greatly limit any of the other two to whom we give the other part of the money."
That was an excellent point. But even the smallest amount of money would go a long way to start fishing with one or two boats, while the luxury hotel would have even more difficulty starting with less money.
The debate continued without her noticing how much time had passed, until Mr. Shyu left at around nine at night. Still, I kept discussing with Ty Lee the relative merits of each bussiness model at the South Pole.
Until an hour later she too yawned deeply and advised that we continue the discussion the next day. And I was left alone with Zuko in an office inside a nearly empty skyscraper.
My hand flew to the pendant on my necklace and I rubbed the familiar pattern with my fingers. I didn't know where to look, all too aware of what we did together the last time I was alone with him at night. How did you behave with someone in this situation?
"Which one is your favorite project?" He gathered up the leftover napkins from dinner and used one to remove the crumbs.
"There's still one presentation tomorrow" I reminded him. Ty Lee had made me doubt my arguments and now I felt uncertain as to which one he would recommend the next day.
"Only your favorite, not necessarily the one you think should win." Pitcher of water in hand, he offered to fill my glass again and I accepted with a nod.
I took a sip before answering.
"When my brother turned 18, we went with Dad to a camp, the same one mentioned by the 'Sanctuary'" Aang didn't go with us, because he failed a subject and stayed to study under the tutelage of GranGran. "To look for the southern auroras that we once saw all together when we were children. We don't have many moments as a family, those two visits are one of my best memories."
He nodded solemnly.
"For me, it's a beach on Ember Island," he whispered very quietly. He understood. It was a pleasant surprise and I smiled warmly.
"I also remember that my mom got me a winter parka when I was five years old." I arranged the excess sheets. I put the piles in front of their respective owners' place, to help her put the table in order. It was the only thing I wore, all day, every day. At first it was huge because she bought it to last me at least two years. When it got too small for me, she bought me another one, but she recovered the embroidery and ornaments from the old parka and sewed them on the new one... then she passed away and I haven't found a parka like that again, only synthetic fabric coats. So even if they don't win, I'll go find their workshop to have one made."
"That's why you asked." A glint of understanding reached his eyes. "Do you know the place, where the workshop is?"
And that show of interest on his part was all I needed to keep talking. I embarked on a narrative of my unsuccessful searches for parkas, the food I couldn't find in Chin City, and the dishes I missed and only ate on trips to Grandma's house. It felt like years had passed since I had been able to talk about all this with someone.
The only thing that stopped me was a yawn that prevented me from finishing the sentence. Zuko laughed.
"Go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. "He let me pass first at the door and turned off the lights as he left. On the way down he put a hand on my back, and that touch did more to wake me up than an espresso coffee.
The guard downstairs greeted him with the familiarity of someone who saw him frequently, and handed him some car keys.
When we got to the car, he seemed undecided which door to open for me.
"At the front is fine." I got a smile back and he climbed into the driver's seat. "I thought you couldn't live without a driver."
"For the day, it's handy not to have to find a place to park." He turned the key and started the engine. "At night ... I wouldn't keep a driver waiting if I thought of staying here until 3 in the morning."
Unlike the previous hour, he was the one who began to tell me about his life. Interestingly, like me and Sokka, he learned how to navigate at sea before learning to drive.
"The first vehicle I drove was the truck to supply the Jasmine Dragon. It took my uncle several years to really get the business going, "he commented with the same soft smile he had in the restaurant.
"Your uncle founded the Jasmine Dragon?" I turned to look at him stunned.
"Didn't I say it before?" He frowned without taking his eyes off the road.
"No, I'm sure you missed it." I playfully smacked him on the arm.
"Hey!" He complained with a smile. "Sorry. We lived in the Dragon of the West for a couple of years, until my uncle found someone to rent it and with that money he got the place for the tea shop. The business could start to pay off earlier, but my uncle paid for my university…"
He kept talking. For many years he served as a waiter in the tea shop and later in management jobs in different small companies. None of those jobs were as he envisioned the son of Ozai, owner of half the Fire Nation. And one of the first things he did when he got a job was to start remodeling the yacht, to leave it like when I was there.
"What places did you visit on the yacht?" "Traveling at sea was what my father did. "I wouldn't have minded seeing the world on board a ship in my teens."
"We boarded here, in the port of Caldera. The first few months I was a nightmare… the whole first year, I don't know how my uncle put up with me. I don't remember very well the places we visited in that time."
We entered the hotel parking lot. He put on the parking brake and we were silent for a few seconds. I made no move to get down or even move. In the low light of the parking lot, his eyes seemed almost silver and they flicked a glance to my lips.
My heart began to pound like a drum, I was almost afraid he would hear it. But instead of kissing me, he pulled away hastily and tried to get out of the car without removing his seat belt. I was still laughing when he opened my door to help me out.
"Finish telling me about the places you visited," I asked him, taking his arm as we entered the hotel lobby and pressed the elevator button. I sensed his indecision, but I refused to remove my hand from his arm and he entered with me.
"Er… Many ports in the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation taxes for docking in their waters were too high for us. We went north and turned around…"
We got out of the elevator and his voice sounded strangled on a few syllables. We got to my door when he was listing Kyoshi and the South Pole and I could almost see him shake. He stopped pretending to tell me anything.
We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. I felt light, at peace, authentically me. And flattered by the effect my presence had on him.
"Thank you." I hugged him, and felt his arms tighten and then close around my waist. I allowed myself a selfish moment of relaxation in the warmth I remembered from the night at the Dragon of the West before parting with him. "Goodnight."
I closed the door without waiting for an answer, but his lingering gaze said many things without words.
It was almost midnight and the day before he had slept on a plane. However, I did not feel tired. On the contrary, it was filled with an excitement that I had not felt for a long time, and while part of it was due to my desire to listen to the latest project proposal and decide the one that would help the South Pole the most, another part had very different reasons.
I got ready for sleep, in the worn summer pajamas that were perfect for Caldera climate. In one corner of my mind, the pros and cons of today's projects were still swaying, but a larger part was occupied with the unsuspected details of Zuko's life and these last hours together. I sighed, blushing at the memory of the hug, and buried my face in the pillow.
Why did I want so badly for Zuko to walk through that door?
The sound of the elevator opening snapped me out of my trance and kept me from staring at her door for the rest of the night. I didn't bump into other guests on the way back to the car and absentmindedly returned the hotel staff's goodbye upon leaving.
It was so hard not to kiss her in the car. I didn't want to scare her by acting too early. But maybe she reciprocated my interest. Because it was obvious that I was interested, wasn't it?
It was dangerously easy to tell her things, even the depressing details of my life (which I would have preferred to avoid). I didn't want to scare her away; I would delay as long as possible for her to find out about all my failures.
And maybe… just maybe, she would give me a chance.
A / N: This was another accidental chapter. Chapters 12 and 13 were, at first, the same. It grew to be monstrous and since I did find where to cut it, here is the first part xD It also changed a lot in the last minutes before being published, thanks to a sugar frenzy caused by strawberry ice cream and chocolates.