The Department of Oddities and the Unexplained

written by: albe-chan

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, recreational potion use and drinking, nudity, etc.), and/or violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

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Lily woke to the sensation of sunlight stabbing her retinas through the hazy orange filter of her closed eyelids, wincing as she tried to burrow away from the annoying light source and her head throbbed nastily. She groaned and felt her stomach roil with nausea as she lifted a bleary hand, eyes still closed, in an attempt to shade her face. The redheaded witch grunted, suddenly becoming aware of three things in the next breath.

One, she was spectacularly hung over, the likes of which she was certain she'd only experienced once before, when she was a naive and over-eager sixteen year old, and had let her cousin Rose get her rip roaring drunk for the first time. Two, she was most definitely naked and, judging by the way her entire body ached, even in the places a normal hangover exempted, she'd had a long night of drunken, uninhibited sex. The third realization she made was that, despite the first two realizations, she was warm and content and felt utterly safe with the distinctly familiar male presence stretched out, though currently asleep but equally as naked as she, beside her.

In the next moment, Lily sat up far too fast and her slightly bloodshot hazel eyes flew wide open as shock made her mouth part and her heart stutter beneath her breast. Because there, in her bed, looking better than even her best memories could do justice, still unconscious and as god-like as ever, was Scorpius motherfucking Malfoy. And he was sinfully naked and utterly perfect, lying amidst her rumpled sheets. There was only one thought coursing through her mind, on repeat. Oh fuck no; Oh fuck no; Oh fuck no!

"What're you doing? Go t'sleep," came the husky, sleepy mumble from the blond sprawled out in her bed, making Lily jump again in surprise, because Scorpius gave no indication whatsoever he was even remotely awake. His eyes were still closed, face lax as it was naturally in sleep, which prompted her memory to helpfully supply a multitude of examples for comparison, and unmoving from his lazy sprawl in her bed. Lily could only sit, frozen with shock and confusion that the sexy, still very naked blond wizard could be so blase and dismissive while she was having an internal freakout over their current situation. Scorpius sighed, dark grey eyes finally popping open, and sat up on one elbow groggily. "Bloody hell, Potter, no need to give me that look," he grouched, sitting up fully and throwing the tangled sheet off himself.

Lily's cheeks flushed as her eyes, inadvertently and against her better judgement, dropped down the hard contoured planes of his chest and stomach, detailing every chiselled line of his pectorals and abs on the way, to land on the half hard length of his cock as it was revealed. She tried to tear her gaze away, all but feeling Scorpius smirking at her continued silence and the traitorous way she couldn't stop staring at all of his physical perfection, but her eyes refused to bend to her will. Probably because the will wasn't particularly strong, but nonetheless, she at least told herself she was definitely trying not to ogle the sexy blond wizard she'd slept with yet again. Which, while not the worst decision of her life, was still up there in the 'not a good fucking idea' category.

The redheaded witch hadn't really thought last night would lead her to taking Scorpius Malfoy to bed again. Of course while she knew she'd made a poor, distinctly half-hearted attempt at flirting with him when he'd offered to take her slightly drunk self home, she hadn't honestly expected the blond to ever want to sleep with her again. And that he had been, even with her atrocious effort at playing the vixen, interested, was a boon to her self confidence. Or maybe he just knows you're an easy lay for him.

At that thought, Lily finally managed to look away from Scorpius, and forced herself back into the moment and out of her own head. She was here, in her bed, hungover and having just made a foolish, idiotic mistake that would only lead to a night alone crying over a tub of ice cream and too much Chinese takeaway. Again. "I'm not giving you any sort of look," she said, trying to sound firm and normal, drawing the discarded sheet around her own nudity, feeling utterly vulnerable instead.

Scorpius lifted a disbelieving eyebrow, but didn't comment, even as he regarded her. "Do you want me to go?" he finally asked, and Lily felt her cheeks heating as his eyes roved down, from the crown of her phenomenal bedhead and down over her sheet-clad form and legs, before finally coming back up to rest at her hands, where they were still clutching the sheet against her breasts.

Lily licked her lips, hating that she really didn't want him to leave, but knowing without a doubt he definitely should. There couldn't be anything between them, she was certain, that could look anything like the sort of committed, long term relationship she'd always longed for. He would tire of her, and her heart would break completely, especially since it had already fractured after she'd been fired from the DOU and thought she'd walked away from him for the last time. Tempting as it was, Lily just couldn't believe that anything with Scorpius Malfoy, other than what they'd just shared, could ever be allowed to happen, because she'd definitely fall for him, and doubted she could rebound from the inevitable heartbreak that would come after that. And now that she wasn't even allowed to work next to him, while reminding herself she could never have him, she figured it was best they parted for good and once and for all, before her stupid heart shattered irreparably.

The redheaded witch had just made up her mind that she would tell him to leave when he leaned toward her, smelling delectable as ever, and emitting the kind of warm sleepiness that clung and could pull you under if exposed too close for too long. "Or would you prefer I stay, Lily?" he asked, brushing a gentle fingertip along the line of her jaw.

"I'm sure you've got plenty of important things-" she began in a very poor attempt to sound nonchalant, breaking off on a gulp as the blond leaned closer still, mouth brushing distractingly up the side of her neck.

"I can't think of a single thing more important than convincing a beautiful witch not to kick me out first thing the morning after the best sex of my life, Potter," Scorpius replied huskily, right against the shell of her ear, causing goosebumps to wave across her arms and down her back and a hot flush to spread across her cheeks. "In fact I wouldn't mind trying to convince you to do lots of things, should you refrain from kicking me out," he added, making Lily squirm at the timbre of his voice, knowing how close and perfectly naked he was, even as she squished her eyes shut. Because that sounded definitely like a compliment, and she was a weak-willed, selfish witch, who wanted nothing more than to slip back under the sheets with Scorpius and nothing else for a few more hours at least.

She was saved the necessity of replying when a silvery mist that formed into the shape of a hawk flew through the window, and both heads whipped toward the familiar Patronus that undoubtedly meant Scorpius was about to be called in to deal with some kind of problem. The redhead swallowed thickly, hating the reminder her former boss's Patronus brought; that she was no longer a DOU agent, and while that made it perfectly acceptable to keep shagging the living daylights out of Malfoy, it was a harsh reminder of many reasons she also shouldn't.

"Fuck, I gotta go," Scorpius cursed after the Patronus had delivered its message of coordinates for the scene and evaporated, and Lily smiled a tiny bit, pulling further away and telling herself it was foolish to feel let down.

"Have fun with whatever crops up," she said with a fake smile, and stiffened as Scorpius, who'd slid from her bed to pull on his pants, leaned back in to kiss her full on the mouth.

"Have dinner with me. Tonight," he said, breaking away to shrug into his shirt, looking all sorts of sexy to the redheaded witch as she watched him getting dressed in last night's clothes. His blond hair was thoroughly disheveled from both sleep and the number of times she'd run her fingers through it last night, and made her want to snog him senseless just to do it again. The hint of a love bite beginning to form on the left side of his neck from where she'd sucked on and then bitten him while coming at some point during the second round the night before made her blush but also want to repeat the experience once more, right then. Not to mention the distinctly familiar half smirk she'd seen him sporting dozens of times throughout the years they'd worked next to one another that smacked of him having gotten good and laid the night before, and only made her wish she was going into the DOU office with him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Lily said slowly, shaking her head. He looked perfect to her, but she couldn't let her hopes rise once more just to be dashed again. Scorpius, who'd just done up his shirt, dropped his robes partway through putting them on as he moved back around the bed toward her. Taken off guard, Lily was unbearably aware of the fact she was naked under the sheet she still clutched when he pulled her close, one hand sliding with ease into her hair as his lips brushed hers teasingly before he kissed her once more.

"It's a fucking phenomenal idea, unless you're going to suggest you didn't enjoy last night and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience, in which case I'll politely disbelieve you, but respect your wishes," he finally said, and Lily glared. She'd almost thought, for a moment there, Scorpius Malfoy wasn't a total prick, but of course, he could still be one to the point of wanting to strike him, she realized.

"Fine," she snapped, knowing she'd regret it, but wanting to save face, even if she firmly told herself she was not going to sleep with the bastard again. "Seven o'clock at the Leaky," she said, even as the handsome prick grinned audaciously at her, riling her temper further still, because he was smug and infuriating, but she kind of liked him nonetheless. No! You don't like him, at all, except in bed, and that's not an option either! "And you can pay," she added, sneering.

Malfoy simply chuckled, tossing his robes over his arm, then leaned down and kissed the surly look off her face. "Deal, Potter," he murmured, smiling still, and looking far too pleased with himself, although Lily was finding it difficult to remain grumpy about it. "See you then."

Needless to say, despite telling herself out loud almost the moment after he Disapparated, that she wasn't going to ever wind up in bed with Scorpius Malfoy again, and she would end this all before her feelings got hurt, Lily wound up going home with the blond pureblood after dinner less than twelve hours later. And, yet again, she spent the night shagging the living daylights out of him, and having him do the same to her. All while knowing she was setting herself up for failure without having the brain function, especially when Scorpius did that lovely thing with his tongue between her thighs, to care in the moment. Regret could come in the morning, along with the rest, but Lily found herself, somehow, living on feeling alone. The usual chatter in the back of her mind was gone, and the nagging voice that talked down to her was silenced as well, in the wake of pleasure Scorpius could wring from her.

It was all undoubtedly foolish, and wholly self-sabotaging to her future self, but in the moment, Lily found she couldn't much bother to care. To be truthful, the redhead found it rather freeing, and like she was finally having some kind of belated teenage rebellion, by doing the wrong thing on purpose if only because it felt fucking amazing, consequences be damned. And even when Scorpius woke up with her the next morning, she simply rolled atop him and sent him off to work undoubtedly late and looking thoroughly shagged, after promising to meet him again that evening for dinner and drinks and a night of stupendously pleasurable sex.

The redheaded witch told herself that she only insisted they go to his place that time, because she was all but certain if it were only up to her, she'd make plans with the damnable blond every night and never have the strength to break it off before he could. At least if she woke up at his flat, she could sneak out and attempt to steel herself against his tempting, oh so fucking tempting, lure, and remain impervious even if she should see him out again. And even if he woke up, she could claim her own job come Monday morning, thus giving her another perfectly worthy excuse to run out and never let herself be alone within six feet of the blond wizard again. Even if that was what the romantic part of her desired and the craven, slutty part of her all but demanded. To be as close to him as possible, and play pretend for now, the consequences in future to be ignored and damned.

Two Scorpius free weeks later, Lily sighed contentedly as she sat back with a steaming cup of tea, her favourite book, and the knowledge she was going to have a well-earned and much deserved day off after a hectic and stressful, and unbearably long last two weeks. Which the redhead told herself were for the best long term, even if she missed the bond pureblood with an intensity that couldn't be matched and even if they were some of the hardest urges she had ever had to fight against to simply find the sexy blond and ride him into oblivion to her own ends.

She'd started her new job, as a Floo Administrator, which basically meant she was in charge of going out on calls for any Floo System related accidents within the Ministry, and after a mandatory two month probation period, would be cleared if she hadn't had any mishaps, to go out on regular customer service calls. All in all, it was alright as far as training went, though she didn't doubt it would be a relatively boring job on the whole, especially compared to the DOU. Lily tried to remind herself it was good pay, but the redheaded witch couldn't help, just the tiniest bit, feeling sorry for herself once more for losing her damnable previous job.

She had just gotten curled into the optimal comfort level in her chair, and opened her book, lifting her tea for a sip, when her own fireplace suddenly flared the signal for someone coming through. To her surprise, her brother Albus stepped out of the emerald flames, and Lily's brows shot up accordingly, because she was definitely not expecting this to be the first time her brother would Floo to her little flat directly.

"Oh," she said at last, after Albus had magically banished the soot clinging to him and stepped into her den properly. "Er, uh...hey, Al." Her brows furrowed as her older brother, who looked so like their father, only minus twenty five years and the weight of having rescued Wizarding Britain from a crazed, Dark wizard, glanced at her, looking far too serious, and like he was about to deliver bad news. And on the heels of that thought, she immediately went into panic mode, jumping up and all but throwing her tea down. "Holy shite, is everyone okay? Wait, what's happened?" she demanded, looking around for her wand.

"That's what I want to know," Albus snapped, jarring Lily from her sudden flash of panic, and she stared up at her brother, who was frowning, looking irritated, and had his arms folded sternly.

"What are you-?" Lily began, starting to feel annoyed now, and half wishing she had her wand so she could hex her idiotic brother. It seemed no matter how old they were, or how far apart they'd grown once they'd reached adulthood, or even how little they actually seemed to see one another in recent years, Albus was always the one person who riled Lily's temper the most. Right along with-

"Are you seriously sleeping with Scorpius?" the dark haired, green eyed wizard interrupted, and Lily's mouth dropped open in shock, even as she fought the insane urge to burst out laughing.

"Not lately," Lily said cheekily, trying to maintain herself and not get furious at the obvious look of disgust her brother had at the thought of anything coming between her and Scorpius. The redhead knew she wasn't the greatest catch, especially considering she and the sexy blond used to be co-workers and she'd been the one who'd been fired, but still. She wasn't a bloody hag, either. She sighed. "No, Al, I'm not."

For a second Albus just stared at her, his emerald gaze darting between her hazel eyes, as if waiting to see if she was fucking with him. At last, it seemed, he settled on believing her, and he unfolded his arms, shoulders relaxing as a slow smirk spread across his face.

"Good. Honestly, that whole idea has disaster written all over it," the dark haired wizard said with a chuckle. He looked oddly relieved, as though he'd been expecting the worst, that his friend had actually slept with his sister and somehow wronged him, but not it suddenly seemed like a flight of fancy. And that simple fact somehow pissed Lily off even more than the words he'd said.

Instantly, the redheaded witch felt herself bristle, and the next breath, she was furious, wanting to tell just how great and amazing Scorpius had been, even out of bed, within the context of her life. He'd somehow slid into the voices inside her head, the odd one out telling her she looked fucking hot in her new lingerie she hadn't bought imagining him seeing her in it. Or that she was almost ready to get fucked when she happened to glance in the mirror while dropping her towel after showering and applying her moisturizer. Much the same as he actually had when she'd briefly lived with the blond undercover for assignment.

But she bit back the instant urge to defend the one thing she longed for, but would, undoubtedly, never have. Sure, he might enjoy fucking her, she mused darkly, but there was absolutely no way he saw her as anything more, let alone girlfriend or more feelings. Instead she pasted on a weak smile, nodding along with her brother's assertion. After all, if anyone had known Scorpius longer, it was certainly Albus, despite how familiar and intimate Lily may have become with the blond pureblood.

"You're probably right," she said honestly, and before she could bite her tongue on the rest, her Gryffindor brashness and boldness erupted. "Though for the record, I'm willing to bet it would be like sending an Incendio into a firework factory if it ever did happen." She had no doubts, honestly, that theirs, should they ever properly pursue it, would be the explosive, hard, and complete sort of relationship. Sure to end with at least as much spark as they shared between the sheets of each other's beds.

Albus, for a beat, looked suspicious again, but then grinned. "Though I bet you'd hex that bastard good," he said, chuckling and Lily smiled along.

"Of course," she replied lightly. "When push comes to shove, we both know I'm far better than Malfoy with a wand in a duel." Lily wasn't sure what made it so easy to pretend she had never experienced those blissful nights with Scorpius, but she was thankful for it. Both when they'd been on undercover assignment, but also the time she'd rather drunkenly taken him home for a one night stand that turned into a long weekend of debauchery with her recently, she was certain if confronted by her brother, she wouldn't be able to lie about it.

"I knew that tosser was fucking with me," Albus said, smiling and shaking his head as he made to Floo back home, or wherever he'd come from, while Lily, who'd been on her way back to sit with her book and now lukewarm tea, froze.

"What?" Lily said stupidly, turning round and looking at Albus curiously, wondering if, like her brother's fondly amused chuckle implied, Scorpius had been the one to mention to her brother they had been together, and not some rumour mongering from Rose, even if it happened to be true. She wasn't sure why that felt important, but it did, and left something warm in her chest she tried to stomp out, afraid her stupid heart would keep on loving Scorpius.

Albus shrugged, having paused in his exit. "I said I knew Scorpius had to be messing with me when he said he was interested in seeing you, and that you two had already hooked up." He frowned slightly to himself, then shrugged again. "I suppose I should feel bad for punching the bastard, but he told me it was true. But as you've just said it's not, he's obviously trying to pull something over on me. In which case I guess he deserves it anyway."

Lily nodded vaguely as her brother left, sitting numbly while her thoughts began to race, and she was filled with an uncomfortable mix of jumbled, tumbling emotions. Anxiety about why Scorpius felt the need to mention anything whatsoever to Al. Elation that he seemed to actually want something more, if he was essentially appealing to her brother for what might be some sort of blessing. And a simmering anger and festering consternation that he hadn't even bothered to properly, in the last fortnight at least, owl her, or otherwise contact her, if he was suddenly so interested.

By Monday morning, after spending her weekend firmly shoving all thoughts and feelings pertaining to Scorpius Malfoy aside, to be thoroughly ignored until he could at least acknowledge he wanted anything from her, Lily was sure the whole thing was thoroughly over with. Obviously the blond hadn't felt enough past lust to actually start 'seeing her', or Albus had relayed her denial that they were in fact involved despite what she wanted deep down, and Scorpius had simply not seen any future there. Either way, she told herself for the dozenth time as she got to her desk, she was done with anything blond, pureblooded, or Malfoy related, even if he nutted up and actually asked her out.

The morning passed slowly, as it was wont to do when Lily couldn't help checking the time every other minute, and she was counting down her last fifteen minutes until she could clock out for her lunch break, when all of a sudden, a red memo zoomed into her in box, pulsing with a bright sort of light that she recalled from her training meant it was an emergency. She gulped, simply staring for a beat in shock, because while she'd been trained what to do if there was an emergency, she hadn't in her short two week stint thus far, actually had to deal with one.

Lily snapped into action after the initial burst of shock faded, and instantly scooped up her wand from the desk, snatched the memo open as she got up, and then swung her heavy Departmental robes on as she raced out of her section toward the lifts. She read through the memo and felt her heart jump into her throat, because if she wasn't mistaken, the far east wing of Level Two, where the complaint had been issued, was where the Department of Oddities and the Unexplained were located.

Of course, she told herself, even as she slid to a halt before the lifts on Level Six, there was a chance the emergency had originated from the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, which was in the same general area as the DOU. And even as she jabbed repeatedly at the button for the lift, Lily couldn't help but hope it wasn't a call from her former workplace. She was all but positive there was nothing but shame and depression to follow should that be that case, going into her old office for something as mundane as restoring the Floo connection, and having anyone in the office bearing witness to her demotion. She firmly reminded herself it definitely, even if the worst case came to pass, didn't mean she would happen to see the blond haired, pureblooded Malfoy she'd spent her weekend forcing herself to forget and not even think of, then scrambled into the lift once it arrived.

Three minutes later, she'd arrived at the scene of the apparent 'emergency', and found herself in the DOU bullpen, the sea of cubicles mostly empty with the lunch hour. And, to her mingled chagrin and joy, Scorpius Malfoy, looking thunderous with his roiling dark grey gaze and set mouth, glaring at the fireplace before him, which he seemed to be trying to exit through, if Lily had to take a wild guess. And although it had been two weeks since she'd last seen the tall, devastatingly handsome blond wizard, her body forgot the time away as it warmed with desire the redhead fought to control. She forced herself to focus on the job, her job, at hand, and asked brusquely, "What appears to be the emergency?"

Scorpius turned from the fireplace, and Lily locked gazes with his dark, thunderous eyes, and gulped, because she had a feeling this was not a Floo-related emergency. "Currently?" Scorpius asked in a low, almost dangerous voice. "I'm torn whether or not to strangle you for being such a bitch, or snog you senseless because it's been over two bloody weeks since I last saw you." She wet her lips as Scorpius stepped closer, taking a deep breath. "I missed you," he admitted in a soft voice.

Lily bit her lip to echo the sentiment, despite the fact it was true, and she had missed him, even though she told herself she had absolutely no business doing so. She was terrified to play her hand, even if Scorpius had already admitted to missing her first. "I- This- You-" she stuttered, trying to find the right start to the sentence she knew she should tell him. There can't be anything between us, because I'm an idiot and I fell in love with you, a guy who's out of my league in every conceivable way; you and I will never work out long term, and I can't handle anything less than that, so it's best we just don't see each other. Instead, the opposite of what she'd intended popped out, and Lily felt her face begin to heat in a fierce blush as she said, "I really like you, and I missed you too, and I've been thinking, probably too much, about the last time I saw you."

Lily tried to stay the urge to turn tail and flee right then, to just run away from the situation to try and save face, but it felt like her feet were rooted deep into the floor, and possibly all the way into the very core of the Earth itself, as Scorpius stepped closer still, now almost brushing her on their every inhale. She tilted her head up, still maintaining eye contact, because she wanted to see the expression at her impromptu confession play out in Scorpius's dark eyes, but in the next breath, he was kissing her. "Have lunch, with me," he panted between kisses as she melted into him and instantly started snogging him back, right there in the midst of her former workplace. "Today."

Lily pushed a hand through Scorpius's silken blond locks, moaning as he pulled her flush to himself and ground her against the ridge of his hard cock straining against his trousers. "Order in something," she said, the lust and desire she'd been holding at bay crashing, like a tsunami, against her feeble defenses, obliterating thought or reason or propriety. Scorpius looked at her, confusion written all over his handsome face. The redhead reached down, untucked her blouse from her trousers, and began swiftly unbuttoning it. "If you want whatever's under this shirt, Malfoy, you're going to have to spend the better part of your lunch hour showing me just what, and how much, you missed."

The blond's face lit up, even as his mouth curled up into a devilish smile. "Yum, that makes you my appetizer then, darling." And in the next breath, they were Flooing, through the completely undamaged and perfectly functional connection, to Scorpius's flat. Lily couldn't even bother to pretend to be mad that he'd lied, and called her professionally while they were at work, for a non-existent emergency, because all thought was obliterated once they stumbled out of the fireplace, lip locked again, and tumbled into Scorpius's bed.

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