Chapter 12: Everything I Always Wanted

The next two days had played out in silent numbness. She said her goodbyes to Caroline and Stefan tearfully as they begged her not to go, and to Giuseppe, who was thankfully none the wiser to what was going on. All he knew was she was moving away with her husband…and for that she was grateful. He hugged her tightly and wished her luck, telling her to come back and visit; and she lied, nodding her head, knowing full well this was goodbye.

Saying goodbye to Damon was harder; and they both decided it was easier not to. She left while he was still sleeping, before the sun came up, leaving behind the one man in her life that promised to never leave her.

With this love like a hole

…

He tried; he tried to just let her go without saying goodbye, but he couldn't. When he woke up, and she wasn't there beside him, he felt emptier than he'd ever felt in all his years. He wouldn't let it end this way. Elena had shaped his whole life; every milestone, every heartbreak, every moment of happiest had her in it and he'd be damned if he was going to let this be the end for them.

Swallow my soul…

He found himself ripping up the long driveway to the Mikaelson house, quickly parking, and storming into the house, which was milling with movers. He sought out Klaus, and pinned him to the wall. "Where is she?"

"Who Elena? I think you're a little late, Damon." He chortled to himself.

Damon took a moment to look around, noticing how empty it was. "Moving?" he sneered.

"Yes, in fact we are." Klaus tipped his chin up proudly, shaking out of Damon's grip on his shirt. "We promise not to bring you any more trouble. All I want, is to take my girl, and get out of this one pony town."

Damon punched him square in the jaw. "Elena isn't yours." He growled, watching as Klaus nearly fell to his knees. "She doesn't belong to you."

Klaus grabbed him by the front of his shirt, slamming him into the wall, and then throwing him to the floor. He stood over top of him, pushing him back down when tried to get up. "She's not yours either, mate. I suggest you start getting over it…because whether you like it or not, she's leaving with me. You made a huge mistake when crossing me Damon…you ought to be lucky you're still alive." Klaus smirked mercilessly. "You can thank her for that." He stood and Damon stood with him. "Elena's already gone. There's nothing here for you anymore."

Damon seethed in silent rage, pushing past him as he walked out the front door.

Dragging me down

All he could do was drown his sorrows in the bottom of a bottle, and try to wash away the memories of her all around his house. His sheets still smelled like her; he could almost picture her there. He moved into his study, and his jaw ticked at the painting that hung across from his desk. He had outbid everyone at the fundraiser just to get it back…knowing that despite the anger he felt in the moment…this was where she belonged.

And I swear I'll stay with you

That night, was a pivotal moment in their relationship. He broke through the shell she would hold up around herself like a wall, and she let him in. She allowed him to love her, she accepted it, and it gave him hope for something more. Damon knew that night that he'd never love anyone else; watching her sleepy smile as she lay in his tub, or the slow sway of their bodies moving together as they danced in front of the fire…the way she looked at him from under her lashes.

The painting was now a bitter reminder of something he'd never get back, but he wouldn't give it up for the world. He knew she had no choice, but there was a part of him that wanted to hate her; a part of him that never wanted to forgive her for how she blew into his life and flipped it upside down, ruining him for any and all others.

But I just can't forgive you

But he would. He would forgive her, and he would keep loving her…and if he ever saw her again, he would take whatever she could give him, because despite all the heartache that came with loving Elena Gilbert, he couldn't let her go.

…

1 month later:

Jeremy opened the door, with the baby on his hip. "I'm glad you could make it." He let Damon in closing the door behind them and leading him into the living room.

"What's the rush, Jer…I think I broke ten laws trying to get here on time." He joked dryly and offhandedly.

Jeremy smiled. "We only have a short window."

"Short window for what?" He stopped in his tracks when he saw Elena standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with her fingers nervously.

She smiled brightly at him. "Hi Damon."

Jeremy left the room quickly, and Damon rushed to her pulling her into his arms. She clung onto him tightly, relishing at being back in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

She reluctantly pulled away to look him over. He looked a little rugged, with a slight beard, but beautiful all the same. "My monthly visit with mom. But I don't have much time." She decided not to tell him that Klaus would be picking her up soon. "I just needed to see you…I needed you to know." She said urgently, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Needed me to know what?" his eyes darted over her face uncertainly. He was willing to forget the last month he spent without her; he was willing to take these fleeting moments, so long as he could be close to her again.

This was the hardest thing she'd ever have to do. "I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted." Even through her tears she was able to smile, thinking about how he had changed her life for the better. "A love that consumed me, and passion and adventure." She watched as a bewildered smile broke on his face, in awe of her words. It was heart breaking. She grabbed his hands in hers. "There's nothing more I could ever want than for it to last forever but…" she let out a sigh. "it can't. This is the last time I'm going to see you." She forced out painfully, seeing the tears well in his blue eyes, making them shine. "This is goodbye Damon." She wrapped her arms around his neck, locking her eyes on his pointedly. He needed to hear her. "I love you…but I have to let you go." Leaning in, Elena kissed his lips softly, the tears on both of their cheeks mingling. When she opened her eyes, his were still shut, anguish furrowing his brows. She rested her hands on his chest, and pulled herself away, turning and leaving him there.

Damon didn't remember his drive home, he didn't remember how long it took him…he just replayed the whole encounter in his head the whole way, recommitting everything she said to memory. She loved him…but he'd never see her again. His heart was conflicted.

He crossed the threshold into his room, and everywhere he looked he saw her. He knocked over the bookcase letting the books crash to the floor, and flipped the table. He swiped all the pictures he had off his dresser; a framed photo of them smashing at his feet. He panted, looking around at the destruction he caused, knowing it wouldn't change anything. Elena was gone…and all he had in her wake was misery.

And I'll never be whole again.

AN: Sooooo…..I know it's not a happy ending but the meaning of the song doesn't suite a happy ending. I know that might disappoint some of you so I decided I'd add an epilogue to leave it on a bit of a lighter note, but I felt it was important to stay the course of the song for the story itself. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have. Don't forget to sign in and not be a guest so I can respond. When I first started this story, I assumed I was thinking of the lyrics from Damon's point of view, but as the words and the storyline started to play out, I realized that they were both caught in a misery spiral. The lyrics applied to her as much as they did to Damon.

As promised, the link to the music video can be found on my youtube page under vanessasymone. Link to my channel is in my Bio. (The website won't let me post the link)

Thank you for reading! – Vanessa