A/N: Here we go again. Let's see how much I put out this time before going into another hiatus. At least this one was months not years.

We got up from the bed and started to make our way downstairs. The house was clearly still deserted and I continued to be grateful for that fact. Edward allowed us to move at my pace, but kept his hands on me in some way as we walked through the house. While he held my hand as we moved down the staircases, his preferred placement seemed to be resting his hand on my lower back, toying with the bottom hem of my tank top. When he pushed it up slightly more and his fingers began to just barely dip under the waistband of my sweatpants I hissed out a warning.

"I thought you were going to behave. Aren't we supposed to be feeding me?"

He chuckled lowly, "Love, at this point this is me behaving," He looked down at me and quirked an eyebrow, "would you like me to remind you again what misbehaving is?"

I could feel a familiar but usually dormant blush creep into my cheeks. Thankfully we arrived at the kitchen and I was given an easy out from answering him. I quickly moved away from him to open the fridge, and tried to look nonchalant while I started looking for something to make that would satisfy my stomach. I didn't want to make something that would require a ton of focus as I wanted to keep talking with Edward, but in an attempt to improve my diet and physical health Esme and Carlisle had stocked the kitchen with actual ingredients rather than things that could be quickly cooked in a microwave.

Edward moved behind me and placed his hands on my hips, then slowly pulled me back from the fridge.

"Why don't you take a seat at the island and let me worry about the cooking?"

"You don't have to do that, I know it's not pleasant for you."

He laughed, "Bella, I'm going to be in the room with the smells either way, I'd rather you relax while I take care of you. Besides I'm not sure you should be around a stove or knives right now."

I conceded his point and went to go take a seat. We were quiet for a while as I watched him move around the kitchen, assembling ingredients for what I could only assume was going to be some type of pasta dish. I'd never really taken the time to watch Edward in a domestic setting. He'd cooked for me before, but in the past he had encouraged me to spend time with his family while he took care of my needs out of sight. There was something incredibly sexy about watching the care he put into assembling the dish. It occurred to me that I was able to watch everything he was doing without difficulty.

"Why are you moving so slowly?" I asked, "Normally you do chores at vampire speed."

He smiled, "First, this is not a chore. Caring for my mate is a pleasure, even if it's a slightly pungent pleasure," he paused to give me a pointed look, "Second, because I'm trying to keep my hands busy. I can't make the water boil or the chicken cook faster, so I'm doing everything else at an only slightly faster than human speed so that I don't come over there and get us both worked up again. I believe you specifically requested that I behave only a few minutes ago."

I nodded and considered that statement. Weirdly I had never before considered the limitations of being a vampire in a human world in that light. What must it be like to know you can do almost anything you want, but have the world move too slowly to allow you to do it?

"I never thought about the fact that there are some things you can't control the pace of. You all always seem to go so fast. What else do you have to slow down and wait for?" I asked.

"Honestly, not much," he answered. "Most of the slow moving we do is purely for show, but there are some things. Like Esme's gardens. She can have plots completely planted in seconds, but she still has to wait for them to grow. If he wanted to, Carlisle could set the world record for fastest sutre, but his patient will still only heal so fast. Emmett and Jasper have to wait for their video game controllers to register their movements for anything to happen on the screen. Then there's the things that we have to do slowly, not because anything is forcing us to, but because if we didn't we'd break whatever we were using. If I read a book as quickly as I could it would literally combust from how fast I'd turn the pages."

The image of Edward reading a Harry Potter novel and having it spontaneously catch fire popped into my head and caused me to throw my head back with laughter, tears streaming down my face. When I finally calmed myself down and wiped at my eyes Edward was plating the pasta and grabbing silverware for me. He set the plate down in front of me and sat on the stool closest to me. He then reached out and adjusted my stool so that I was still able to use the table normally, but so that I was also half turned to face him.

I took a bite of the pasta, which was of course amazing and I let out a small moan.

"Oh love, be careful with your sounds."

I blushed again and said, "I'm sorry, it's just really really good."

His eyes started to darken, "If that's the noise you make when something is really good, I can't wait to hear the noises you make when something is incredible."

I almost choked on the bite in my mouth and had to reach for my water. I decided in that moment that I could either ignore what he said, or we could have a conversation about his implication now, when we were significantly less likely to get distracted.

"If memory serves, you already got to hear those noises earlier."

There was still a part of me that continued to expect the Edward from my time in Forks to show up. The Edward that would have sighed and looked away if I ever made a comment that bold to him. The Edward that would have chastised me and told me to eat my dinner while artfully changing the subject. The Edward that would have made me feel embarrassed for my reaction to the bond that we shared.

This was not that Edward.

"I did didn't I," he said lowly, "I got a taste of those sweet little noises merely a couple of hours ago. But I don't think I got them all. I think you just whet my appetite. I think there are so many more noises that you can and will make for me, and I'm very anxious to discover them."

Once again he had taken up the gauntlet I threw down and had bested me with his response. While my intention had been to segue gracefully into a discussion, Edward had decided on seduction. I knew that he would not push me any further than I wanted to go, and while I was torn and in some ways wanted to go with his plans, whatever they may actually be, the responsible part of my brain kicked in and demanded that we talk.

"Let's discuss that," I said, forcing myself to lean back and look at my food.

"By all means," Edward replied. His voice was still low, but he also leaned back, signaling with his body language that he would ease off, at least for the moment. "What specifically would you like to discuss?"

"Earlier, when we were upstairs you said that because we… did what we did… that it was going to make you want more. Physically. And that you didn't know how it was going to affect me."

"Is there a question in there?"

I struggled for a moment to put my thoughts together. I had what felt like millions of questions, but it was difficult to phrase them or know where to start.

"I guess… can you tell me more about how it works for vampires? I know no one understands how this will work with me as a human, or how your side of things will go because I'm human, but if you and I had both been vampires when we met how would things have happened?"

He considered the question for a bit before responding, "I can't say for sure because every bond is different. You know my family is somewhat unique in that Carlisle and Esme, and Rose and Emmett both met when one part of the pair was human. Emmett wasn't human for very long, but still he was human when they found each other. Alice and Jasper are the only ones who met as vampires, and even that's not a typical story because Alice saw Jasper coming. The only mated couple who met as vampires that I've spent any real time with are Carmen and Eleazer, and it's not exactly polite to ask about that aspect of a couple's life. However I've heard about it in the thoughts of others in passing countless times.

"Usually if vampires meet and feel a mate bond it's instant, but there is also little reason to question it. While some couples may choose to try and draw out the courtship, for lack of a better term, most don't bother. For those that do, from what I can gather, it's like a slow burn that pushes them to be with their mates, that drives them to need more and more, until they complete their bond."

I stopped him, "So our bond is incomplete?"

He nodded, "In some ways yes our bond is partially formed, but you knew that based on your conversations with Rose."

"So is the only way to complete the bond through sex?" I asked, rather bluntly.

"Yes… and no. Sex is a critical piece of the bond, but there is more too it than that. Emmett and Rosalie were physical pretty early on, but their bond took a while. Carlisle and Esme were bonded almost instantaneously after their first night together. Each couple's bond is unique," he hesitated before continuing, "And, while there is no way to actually know this for sure, I don't think it's possible for us to have a complete bond while you're still human."

Choosing to leave that alone for a moment, I focused instead on the idea of the bond not being the same for everyone and the fact that there was no way to know for sure how to complete it.

"Do you know any mates who have partially completed bonds? Couples whose bonds have never fully clicked into place?"

He looked away, refusing to meet my eyes before whispering, "I don't, but Carlisle did."

"Did?"

He sighed, "When Carlisle was living with the Volturi there was a mated pair who had not completed the bond. They loved each other and they were obviously physically affectionate, but for whatever reason their bond never completed. They were called Diana and William. They had grown up in the same village, William the second son of the local lord and Diana was a farmer's daughter. They never spoke while they were human. One night during a village festival a group of nomads came and slaughtered the town. The Volturi arrived and killed the nomads, but Diana, William, and two or three others from the village were partially drained and going through the change. For whatever reason the guard allowed the change to continue and when they woke up Diana and William saw each other and instantly knew they were mates. They were offered a place in the guard and they took it. They lived with each other for centuries with a partially formed bond. Eventually it drove them both to madness."

"I thought vampires couldn't go mad," I whispered.

Edward grimaced, "The only thing that will alter our chemistry is our mate. They both existed in a half formed mental state for far too long. They tried everything to force the bond into place, but nothing worked. No one could figure out why they weren't bonding. In the end the Volturi had to put them down."

The story Edward told terrified me. And with my terror came rage.

"So basically I can either go about with my life as it currently is, with my fucked up brain chemistry, and live for another sixty years, at which point I'll die and then you'll demand death immediately after, or I can have sex with you and become a vampire, and that still may not fix everything and we may never have a completed bond, which may cause us to descend into madness together at which point your family will likely have to kill us," I spat out.

Edward's head snapped back in my direction and I was caught in his gaze, "Bella, it's one couple out of thousands. One story. You're completely ignoring the possibility that we wouldn't end up like that at all. That we could be happy together with a completely normal bond."

I snorted, "When has anything about us been normal or happy? You know as well as I do that if the odds are ten thousand to one, we're always the one."

Quicker than my eyes could track Edward had gotten off his stool, lifted me off mine, and seated me on the island with him standing between my legs. He took my chin in his hand and forced me to look at him.

"Do you think there is even the remotest possibility I would allow that to happen to you? To us?"

"It would be out of your control Edward, that's the point. Nothing about this is in our control. We have no say," I cried, and then promptly burst into tears.

His hand moved to the back of my head, pressing my face into his chest while I sobbed. His other hand moved to rub soothing circles on my back, and he gently shushed me while I let everything break over me and completely fell apart.