Leia Does Bacon - Pre-ESB

"That's not healthy, you know," Leia commented as she entered the hold of the Millennium Falcon, where Han was busy frying bacon and sliced nerfsteaks, mixed with caylee eggs. Sometimes it annoyed the Princess to no end that while the rebels ate rations, Solo always brought back fresh food with him from his supply runs for the Rebellion.

Han spared the Princess an amused glance over his shoulder. "Since when do I care about healthy?"

"You should," she replied, trying not to argue, while at the same time realizing she had already started another fight with the smuggler. "That greasy Corellian food will catch up with you someday."

"Hmm," Han turned back to his cooking. "Why's it the bad things are always what catches up, but good things never do?"

"Good things?"

"Like a certain fancy Princess I know. Now that's something I'd like to catch up with me. I won't even run fast."

"Dream on, Flyboy," Leia said lightly, while at the same time feeling a little pleased he considered her a 'good thing'. Now that she was smelling the food, her stomach betrayed her by growling - and loudly, too.

"Somebody sounds hungry," Han grinned at her as poked a piece of the bacon, waving it in her direction. The bacon grease dripped on the floor.

"See what I mean?" Leia asked, pointing down at the spots on the floor. "All that fat is sticking to your guts and clogging your arteries. You should eat salads, and fruit."

Han made a face. "Salads? Salads have green stuff in them," he protested.

"Green stuff is good for you."

"Well, it tastes like bantha chow. Healthy food is all tasteless or disgusting. The people that eat that stuff only think they live longer, 'cuz they're miserable all the time and can't enjoy real food. Like bacon." With that, Han dished the food into a large serving platter. "Why do you care if I live long, anyway? You're always telling me to drop dead."

"I've never told you that!"

"You think it."

It was hard to argue that point. Sometimes she did think it, even if it was only during their most heated arguments.

"Are you sure you don't want some? Real food, I mean," Han added with a wink.

The Princess felt her face get warm. "I know what you mean, and no, I don't want any." Of course, she did want some of the greasy food, but there was no way she could admit that now - not after chastising Solo for making it in the first place. "I should go. I only came to see if you got the supplies we needed from Dantooine." She also wasn't about to admit she was glad he was back safely from his trip, or that she worried about him when he was gone. He didn't need to know that. His ship wouldn't be big enough to hold his ego.

Solo slid into the seat by the game table, and took a big bite of the steaming mixture of food. "Mmmm...good. You sure you don't want any? I cook pretty good, if I do say so myself."

"It doesn't surprise me a bit you'd say so yourself." When he gave a mock-hurt look, Leia caved in and slid in the seat across from Solo. "Dish me some up, Nerfherder."

Looking pleased with himself, Han scooped a large portion in a plate and handed the dish to the Princess. "Eat up, your Highnessness."

Leia took a small mouthful. It was surprisingly good, and she started quickly eating the heaping mound. It was soon gone. Leia shoved the plate back at Solo. "More."

"More? But you already..."

"I said.. MORE! What part of more don't you understand?"

Eyes wide, Han heaped in another small portion.

"Are you deaf? I want MORE!" Leia yelled, grabbing the spoon from the Corellian before scooping in a huge second portion. The Princess soon had that polished off as well.

Han could only watch in awe as the petite lady ate enough to put Chewie to shame. He was so amazed, he barely touched his own platter.

"Are you finished?" Leia asked.

"What?"

"Are you finished? With your food?" She pointed at Solo's half eaten food.

"Uh... yeah. I guess."

"Good." Reaching across the table, she pulled Solo's dish toward herself then promptly ate his leftovers. Sighing, Leia leaned back and loosened her belt. "Ahh. Now that was good eats."

Eats? "Are you feeling okay?" Han asked, worried. Maybe the grease had gone to her brain arteries.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be feeling alright?"

"Well, you sure ate enough."

"Are you calling me a PIG?" Leia yelled standing up. "You invited me! Or have you forgotten?'

"N...no. I invited you," Han stuttered.

"Don't you forget it, either!" she said, as she started to walk away in a huff. Suddenly she turned around. "Don't you dare tell anyone I ate all that garbage you call food! If you say anything, anything at all... I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll deny it! No one will believe you, anyway. This miss is no piggy!"

"Fine. I won't say anything," Han groaned, wondering if Leia had lost her mind. "Your holiness?"

"What now?"

"Do you want to come over tomorrow for dinner?"

"Are you cooking grease, or healthy?"

"Grease."

"Then of course moi will be there."

THE END