Elizabeth panted as she made her way through the very quick labor. She couldn't believe she was doing this alone! He promised!
"Babe! I'm here!" he said, hurrying into her labor room in his scrubs, his mask hanging from his neck.
"Jack Thornton," she panted. "I would have been so mad at you!"
"I'm sorry, hon. I was in surgery. I didn't want to miss Holland's birth either. Believe me. I'd have been mad at myself."
About thirty minutes later, she started pushing. Jack marveled at the strength of his Elizabeth. "I love you so much," he whispered, kissing her damp forehead. "You are amazing."
Holland Grace Thornton was born after only three pushes. 6lbs 12oz., with dark curls like Mama.
Jack never would grow tired of the rush of pride and love when the first cry was heard. It was just overwhelming.
Elizabeth laughed through her tears as Holland lay on her chest, soaking up her warmth and love. "Hi, baby. I love you so much."
Careful not to crowd them, Jack sat on the edge of the bed to give his wife and daughter a kiss, while she nursed.
"You think Seth is ready for the whirlwind that comes with a little sister?" Jack said with a small chuckle.
"For now. Just wait till she's crawling and getting into all of his things."
"True. At least we've got some time before that happens. In the meantime, I think he'll love snuggling her. That is, if I can ever bear to let her go."
"Well then, how about you hold her now before you need to fight our son for her."
"You sure?"
She nodded. "She's asleep for now. If she's anything like Seth, she'll be on me constantly for nourishment. Take what you can while the gettin's good."
He laughed, then carefully took the tiny bundle into his arms. Within minutes, he heard a soft snore from Elizabeth.
"Sleep well, love. You've earned it."
Jack jolted awake at the sound of his daughter's cries and was shocked to find her not in his arms. Apparently a nurse must have moved her to the pram when she came to check on them. He rose and rushed to her.
"Sorry, little love. Daddy fell asleep hard."
He looked over at Elizabeth who was still asleep. That surprised him. When Seth was a baby, she would wake up to the tiniest nose in the house.
"Beth, sweetie? Hollands hungry again. Beth?"
She didn't move a muscle. Not even an eye twitch.
"Elizabeth?" Jack shocked her arm. She felt cold to the touch. That's when he noticed the lack of color in her complexion. "Elizabeth!"
He pulled the emergency chord and within seconds the room was crawling with medical staff. The words, "possible hemorrhage" were uttered by a nurse as she pulled back the covers on the bed.
"Lets move her to OR, stat!" another voice yelled. That's when Jack noticed the blood pooling around his wife.
"Please Lord, don't take her," he whispered through his tears as a nurse pushed him out of the way. "I love you Elizabeth. I love you. Please stay with me."
Charlotte and the Thatchers nearly collided in the hospital lobby. All out of breath with panic stricken looks on their faces.
"Where do we go?" Grace asked, her voice cracking.
"Elevator to the 6th floor. Jack said to check in at the nurses station and they'd tell us where to wait."
Once on the labor and delivery wing, they were led into a small waiting room, apart from the main room. It was just the three of them. No one said so, but they knew the nurse had put them there to avoid any awkwardness from having to possibly receive grave news around happy families.
Every time footsteps could be heard coming down the hall, William would stand and watch the doorway, but the footsteps just passed them by everytime.
"Shouldn't we know something by now?!" William said gruffly.
"Jack said they're still in surgery. In theory, that may mean they are able to save her uterus. We just need to wait."
"I hate waiting," he said, sitting back down with a huff.
Jack stayed in their hospital room while he waited. He knew their parents were there waiting but he couldn't be with them right now. He needed to be alone with his daughter. He couldn't bring himself to introduce Holland to her grandparents without knowing if her mother would make it.
That's the problem with being a doctor. When a loved one is hurt or sick, you know the reality of what could happen. Being optimistic can be nearly impossible.
Jack prayed as he held Holland, feeding her a bottle of formula as the nurse had taught him.
Holland fell asleep halfway through her bottle. Jack set her down in her bed and turned to stare out the window, praying again.
"Doctor?" a feminine voice said from the doorway.
"Yes."
"I'm Dr. Spencer, I operated on your wife."
"Yes. How is she?"
"She lost a lot of blood…"
"Is she alive?"
"Yes. I'm afraid I was unable to save her uterus."
"She's alive. That's what's important. Our children have their mother. I have my wife." Jack knew Elizabeth would struggle with the fact she couldn't carry any more children but that was the least of his worries. Jack picked up Holland and nodded. "Thank you, Doctor. I'd like some time alone, please."
The last thing he wanted was to start crying in front of someone he didn't know. So he held it in until she walked out and then he let the tears flow.
"Thank you," he prayed. "Thank you for giving us yet another chance."
Lucas headed to Julie's studio to pick her up and take her to the hospital. He hated hospitals but he loved Julie, or almost loved her, so he would support her.
When he walked in, she was sitting cross-legged on a mat, sobbing. "Oh no. Julie? Sweetie? What is it?" He said a quick prayer and pulled her into his arms.
"She's okay," she cried, squeezing him tight.
"Thank you," he prayed.
"She can't have more children. Beth is going to be really upset." She sighed and let him hold her, needing his strength. "I'm not sure I could deal with that, if it were me."
"They could adopt. You could adopt."
"I want to carry a baby, feel it move and kick, know that that life is made from the love between my husband and me. I want to push it out into the world, hear it cry and be told the gender. I want to feed it and nourish it at my breast and see myself and my husband in the baby's eyes. Adoption can't give me that."
"If that was the only way we...I mean...you could have a child...isn't the important thing giving a child a home? Not how that happened?"
Julie stood and walked over to the bathroom to wash her face. She didn't answer him so he followed her and stood in the doorway.
"I've always wanted to carry a child. Its my dream, Luc."
"What if I said that ever since my parents died, leaving us as orphans, I've felt a need to adopt? To give other orphans love and a home."
"Could we...do both?"
"Yeah. We could do both," he nodded.
She dried her face and then walked up to him, putting her hands on his arms. "I need to see Beth. I need to meet Holland."
He lowered his head and gave her a kiss. "Let's go, then."
Elizabeth heard her. Holland was crying. But she couldn't see her or get her arms to work. Or her voice.
Why couldn't she do anything?
"Beth? Honey, I'm here. Holland is just fine," Jack told her, bringing her further out of her slumber.
"Crying," she mumbled, barely moving her mouth.
"Yeah. She's a stubborn one," he told her. "Shhhhh," he said gently. "You just ate and you are dry. No need to be upset, Hollie Grace."
"Hollie Grace." That was a pretty nickname.
"You like it?" he asked as the baby settled.
"Yeah." She moaned as she tried to move. "Owwww." She felt like she'd been run over by a truck.
"Hang on, babe. You need more pain meds."
"What….why am I….ow."
Jack pushed the red button. "After you gave birth there were complications."
"What do you mean?"
"You started hemorrhaging, Beth. They had to do emergency surgery."
Jack placed a pacifier into Holland's mouth and she started sucking fast.
"What else?" she asked. She could tell there was more.
"They had to remove your uterus."
"What? No," she whispered, tears rolling down her face.
"Babe, they didn't have a choice. They saved your life."
Elizabeth knew her tears involved hormones and anesthesia but also, she was sad. No more babies. She didn't have plans for more, but now there wasn't even an option.
"Jack, I'd like to hold Holland. Please?"
"Of course. But move slow. You don't want to start bleeding again."
She reached for her and started crying again. "She's so pretty, Jack."
Jack tipped her head up and kissed her with as much emotion and relief that he was feeling. "Gorgeous, just like her Mama."
"I'm so sad, Jack."
"I know but personally, if I had lost you...it was so close. You were bleeding so much, Beth. I've never been so scared in my life."
She nodded. She would try to be grateful and not focus on what the future now lacked. "I love you so much."
He carefully climbed into bed with them and held them. Before long, all three of them were asleep.
Julie held tight to Lucas' hand as they walked into the waiting room.
Grace and William stood up and took in the couple.
"Hi, Mom and Dad. This is my boyfriend, Lucas Bouchard. Luc, this William and Grace Thatcher."
Lucas was proper and respectful when it mattered most. Now, was one of those times. "Its wonderful to meet both of you. How is Beth doing?"
"She's alive," Grace said, wiping at her eyes. "That's the most important thing."
"Yes, of course. I'm glad to hear that."
Everyone got distracted with baby Holland as soon as Jack walked in the room with her.
Julie immediately loved her, hoping and wishing that Lucas would ask her to marry him sooner than later. She really wanted a child of her own. Soon.
That feeling hit full force when he asked to hold Holland. She couldn't stop watching him.
His eyes took in every inch of her tiny face and hands. Her soft, button nose. Wisps of brown hair.
She fell harder for him then, imagining him holding their baby someday.
He however was having flashbacks of holding Olivia right after she was born. He felt a keen sense of loss, familiar and yet not the sharp pain he felt at first.
Julie leaned against his arm and smiled. "Hey. You look good holding a baby," she said quietly.
He handed the tiny bundle to Julie and stood up. "I need some air." Then he hurried away.
Julie saw the tears in his eyes and that told her what she needed to know. Julie placed a kiss on each of Holland's cheeks and passed her back to Jack.
"Congratulations. Tell Beth I love her and I will come see her tomorrow after she recovers a bit."
"I will."
Julie found Lucas sitting on a bench, his head in his hands. "Luc, are you alright?"
"I thought...I mean its be almost seven and a half years….but holding Holland….it was like I was holding Olivia. My heart remembers that feeling. That love. That wonder...if I'll be a good father…." She slipped her hand into his and kissed his cheek. "That agony when she took her last breath. Julie…"
"I know. You loved her with everything you had. And I know you will be a good father one day. But...not until you're ready." And when he was ready, she'd be right there with him.