Full chapter title is "you said don't let your heart give out". after a lyric from "Art of Doubt" by Metric. couldn't fit the shipname otherwise :[
Angst? Me? what's happening who am I... Guess that explains why this one's short.
Kyo's absence is an ache. In her heart, in her head, in her whole body. Some days she can't move for the pain. If it weren't for Yuki's kindness, his understanding... If it weren't for that, on her worst days, she thinks, she could be dead.
The routine of cleaning and cooking is another lifeline, a necessity that keeps her hands busy and mind quiet.
And when that isn't enough, she loses herself in Yuki.
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Kyo told him one thing before he left: "Take care of her." He'd gripped Yuki's shoulder hard enough to bruise, and some days Yuki wishes a scar had been left behind. It's the least he deserves.
He can feel the guilt radiating from her when she clings to him, and he knows if she knew what Kyo had said to him the guilt might be lightened. But he's not ready, yet, to admit Kyo's gone from their lives.
Not ready yet to let go of the greed that fills him whenever she touches him, not ready to stop pretending that he doesn't taste grief when he kisses her.
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It's difficult to sleep alone. So she goes to his room, or he'll come to hers, and with pillows between them there's nothing to worry about.
She's drawn to him as though she always has been. They kiss and touch and hold each other, and that's enough. Being near him relieves the ache, and that's okay because she'd be out of her mind otherwise, and she cannot abandon Yuki.
Kyo wouldn't want her to.
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"I miss him," she says on an autumn morning. For once, the words aren't accompanied by tears.
He looks up at her from where he lays across her lap, puts a hand to her cheek. "Me too."
He shouldn't be surprised by her surprise, but so it goes. It smooths away when she takes his hand.
"I love him."
A prickle in his lungs. "I know."
"I love you."
She kisses his palm and he shuts his eyes, focusing on her lips on his skin to will away tears. "I love you, Tohru-kun."
"I will always. Please stay."
He puts his arms around her torso and says, "You have to, too."
Her murmured assent takes the chill from his skin. "He needs that. From both of us."