The next evening, Bess found herself sitting in the common room, lying across her favourite armchair. Her golden notebook open in front of her, she was finally about to strike through one line on her list of horcruxes.
"Alright, love? How was detention?" Sirius asked, as James, Peter and he slumped down on the two sofas nearest her.
Lily, who had been lying on the sofa James chose to sit on, rolled her eyes and moved her legs back so he could have more space to stretch out.
"Good. Here," she said, before throwing a lemon drop to each of them.
They all frowned at her and she chuckled.
"Perks of a detention with Dumbledore. I'll give Remus his tomorrow," she said, grinning.
"A Dumbledore detention?! Love! What was that even like?" Sirius asked as he stretched his arms out across the armrest and back of the sofa and crossed his ankle over his knee.
Bess looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought, before smiling and saying, "oddly satisfying."
Sirius grinned back at her and winked as he popped his sweet in his mouth. A moment later, he turned to Peter, who had set up their game of Wizard's Chess.
Bess stared at the back of his head for a moment before she realised Lily was staring at her. She turned to look at the redhead and mouthed, "what?"
Lily shook her head, a small smile on her lips, and looked back down at her book.
James, who had slumped down in his seat and put his feet up on the coffee table, raised a hand and said, "Wait! if you had detention with Dumbledore, did you meet Sirius' great-great-great-great-great-"
"Alright! Alright! Not that many greats, thanks!" Sirius laughed, putting his hands up, "most hated Headmaster ever as well... so actually... yeah, was he okay?" He asked as he turned to look at Bess and lowered his hands, his smile being replaced by an apprehensive look.
Bess laughed, "No! He's a dick!"
Sirius stood up and walked over to her chair, kneeling in front of her and taking one of her hands in his.
Bess' smile fell slightly and she said, "H- he said that I've enchanted you."
Sirius smiled and kissed her hand, "You have."
She didn't know why, but she felt like she wanted to tell him everything about her conversation with Phineas. "He called you... he said you were his worthless great-"
Sirius held up a hand to stop her and leaned in to press a kiss to her nose.
"I am."
"No. You're not," she said, placing a hand to the side of his face, staring into his eyes.
"I am. I ran away this summer. I live with the Potters now. I am literally worthless," he said with a bitter laugh.
Bess shook her head. "No. You're not."
She leant in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, his eyes were closed.
"But I have nothing," he whispered.
Bess leant in again, until her lips were only inches from his, and replied, "You have me."
His eyes opened suddenly and he blinked at her, a weird expression on his face. She felt his hand leave hers and she pulled back, shaking her head.
"Sorry, uh- I didn't mean- uh- I should-" She stammered, before she jumped up and vaulted over the back of the armchair. She walked backwards, slapping her notebook against her hand, as she called to Lily, "I'm tired, just going to-" and pointed to the dormitory stairs.
She avoided Sirius' gaze - he had stood up, and was still staring at her with that odd expression on his face. Instead, she turned and ran upstairs.
As she lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling, Bess had a sinking feeling in her stomach as the euphoria of Dumbledore believing her wore off.
She had just inferred to Sirius that she cared deeply for him and although that was true-
"What was that?" Lily asked, breaking through Bess' thoughts and jumping on to the end of her bed.
Bess groaned and pulled a pillow over her face as Lily laughed and crossed her legs, settling in. Bess heard her curtains shut, and pulled her pillow down to her chest.
She watched as Lily cast muffliato and lumos, and smiled slightly. It really was amazing to Bess still, seeing even the smallest of spells being cast by such a talented witch. Bess, who tried so hard, felt that magic came so naturally to her redheaded friend.
"Have you told him?" Lily asked, chucking a piece of chocolate at Bess.
"No." Bess grumbled, hugging the pillow and biting off some of the sweet treat.
Lily nodded. "Didn't think so."
"He doesn't- I don't think he-" she stammered, shaking her head.
"No! You two are just tip toeing around this thing. It's different. Honestly, I've never seen two people more..." Lily trailed off and stared up at the canopy above them, "it's frustrating to watch and I think everyone's just waiting for one of you to..."
"Lily, this isn't some... it's not some... argh!" Bess said, pulling the pillow back over her face.
Lily waited for her to lower the pillow. "You both have secrets?"
Bess pursed her lips and sat up. "How did you know?"
Lily smiled. "I've already spoken to Sirius."
"What? When?" Bess asked, propping herself up on her elbows, her pillow still lying on her chest.
"This afternoon. I paid a visit to the boys' dorm room while you were in the library. James was... surprised..." Lily trailed off as she began to giggle.
"I bet!" Bess cried, reaching over to slap Lily on the arm, "that's another thing we need to talk about..."
Lily shook her head. "One thing at a time, please! Anyway, Sirius said he needed to tell you something big. He said it would change how you see him. James looked shifty, so it really must be big."
"Why would he tell you that?" Seeing the look on Lily's face, she shook her head and held out her hand. "No, no, didn't mean it like that. I just meant... he's barely mentioned it to me... I thought maybe he'd..."
"Yeah. Don't worry. I get it. Before you got here we weren't the closest. But uh- I think he's trying to tell you something about Snape... so..." Lily trailed off. She didn't need to continue.
Bess didn't know how to tell Sirius that she already knew what he'd been trying to tell her for a while - about the Whomping Willow and Snape. She didn't really want to have the conversation, she just didn't know how she would react, which was why every time someone tried to interrupt them over the past few days, she'd let it happen.
"Do you know what happened there?"
Lily frowned and looked down at her hands. "Snape told me the gist. I- I don't know the details, but..."
Bess could tell that Lily was lying, and thought back to the seventh Harry Potter book. Snape's memories - Lily saying that he was ungrateful because James saved him... that she knew Snape's theory about Remus...
Bess tried to control her features as she realised that Lily had already worked out what had happened. Whether she knew when it had first happened or had realised over the summer, or even more recently, Bess didn't know.
For a second Bess wondered why Lily hadn't told anyone. But then she thought about it properly - she wouldn't either. And this was Lily after all. By the sounds of Snape's memories, she was headstrong, knew her own mind, and was as protective and loyal as James.
Neither of the girls would betray Remus like that.
Bess pursed her lips and shook her head to clear it. She then took a deep breath and hugged the pillow again. "He hasn't heard my secret yet..."
Lily looked up and cocked her head to the side. "Maybe it's time you talked?"
Bess shook her head. "I don't... I don't think I could handle the rejection, so for now, I think I'm just going to go full teenager on this and avoid him until it's too awkward and people lock us in a broom closet or something..."
Lily giggled, but then stopped. "You're serious, aren't you? That's your plan?"
Bess sighed and nodded. "It's better this way."
"For who?"
Bess just sighed again and tried to change the subject. "James seems like he's changing..."
Lily glared. "If you're trying to change the subject, that was a feeble attempt and you should be ashamed of yourself. Anyway, James may act like he's changed, but I saw him hex a seventh year on Thursday."
"Christ! Who was it?"
"A Slytherin called Wilkes."
"Oh. I wouldn't worry about that..." Bess said, as she made a mental note to add that surname to her list of Death Eaters in their school.
"I would! James said he called me a Mudblood, but I was nowhere-"
"He's a Death Eater, Lily," Bess said quietly but firmly. "Wilkes is a Death Eater."
Lily gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "But he's never said anything before..."
"Sure about that?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow, a sad look on her face.
"Shit."
"You had a go at James?"
"Yup. How didn't I know that?"
"Did James try to tell you?"
"Well, yeah, but..." Lily trailed off and pursed her lips.
"That's not to say James' actions were right, by the way, I'm just... I'm just getting less and less bothered by the boys fighting for us. It... it's... it's so tiring looking over my shoulder all the time. Mentally and physically." Bess frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Bess saw Lily nod and looked up at her.
"You two really need to talk," Lily whispered imploringly.
Bess, whose eyes had filled with tears as she'd spoken, felt a tear trail down her cheek. "My secret... I want you to know as well. And James. And Remus."
"Not Peter?" Lily asked with a frown.
"Oh, yes.. uh- of course. I just... I don't know him as well I guess," Bess said quickly, wiping her tear away and tucking a loose curl behind her ear.
Lily nodded but didn't look like she believed her.
Bess sighed. "Can we... can we just wait until Remus is back at least? You know... uh- from his mum's house..."
Bess looked around as she said this, and when she looked back up, meeting Lily's gaze, they shared a look of understanding.
Lily's face fell and she stammered, "Bess, y- you've only-"
Bess cut her off. "That's not my secret. I don't know anything until he tells me."
Lily took a deep breath in. "That's... that's refreshing."
"Snape?"
"If he had his way, I'm sure everyone would know," Lily whispered, a tear running down her cheek.
You have no idea, Bess thought glumly as she moved to her knees and hugged her friend.
They stayed like that for a while until Bess sat back and crossed her legs, pulling the pillow back to her stomach.
After a moment Lily laughed, and Bess joined in. For a minute, the girls laughed, letting out all of their emotions.
When they stopped laughing, they wiped their tears from their faces and Lily sniffed loudly, rubbing her nose.
Bess frowned. "Sorry, I don't know how to conjure tissues and I don't have-"
Lily just laughed again and pulled out her wand, conjuring up two handkerchiefs and handing one to Bess, who muttered, "thanks."
"I can't believe- what is that?" Lily began to say something but paused and frowned.
Bess, who heard the fluttering as well, rolled her eyes and opened her curtain an inch, letting in a little parchment bird.
"That's beautiful!" Lily exclaimed as the bird flew once around the canopy before coming to land on Bess' outstretched palm.
Bess smiled and rolled her eyes as she reached for her wand. "Sirius is incredible at transfiguration. This is probably what he does for fun."
"This is from Sirius? It really is a beautiful piece of magic," Lily said, crawling over to sit next to Bess. "Does he send you these a lot?"
"Sometimes. It started when Jasper explained what happened to me during our Defence class, but he's sent more since I was in the hospital wing... You know... When I..."
"Fell down a hill?" Lily offered, trying not to laugh.
Bess tried not to smile from embarrassment. She could feel her face getting hotter as she nodded.
She reached down and tapped the note with her wand. Lily gasped as the bird unfurled itself and let off a gold glow before coming to rest as a flat piece of parchment on Bess' palm.
Love,
I need to see you.
S
"Okay, I've seen Sirius' notes. They're boring little paper planes, not origami phoenixes, and his words are like 'baby, can't meet tonight, got stuff on,'" Lily said, putting on a deep voice. "Not 'love, I need to see you,'" she added, putting her hands over her heart and throwing her head back jokingly.
"He did not send someone a note like that, did he?" Bess asked, wide eyed, looking at Lily, who had rested her head on Bess' shoulder, looking down at the note.
Lily laughed and moved back slightly. "He did. It was to Sol. They went out for two months, and she always had to send the first note."
"And you're trying to convince me that I should tell him how I feel?" Bess asked, looking up in thought and raising her finger to the air.
Lily giggled and shoved her shoulder. "Obviously, he's different now," she added, gesturing towards the note. "I can see how he is around you. He's changing."
Bess sighed. "Did he send you up here to talk to me?"
"No. I mean, yeah, he asked if I could check on you, but I wanted to," Lily replied quietly.
"Thanks," Bess whispered, and nudged Lily's shoulder with hers.
They smiled at each other for a moment before Bess frowned and looked down at the note. It had started to vibrate in her hand, and she watched as it glowed gold again.
"What's-?" Bess asked, as the note began to curl and fold itself.
Lily and Bess gasped as it turned in to a little dog and sat back on its hind legs, looking up at Bess.
It opened its mouth and Sirius' voice whispered, "love, please. Talk to me."
Bess tried not to shiver, and gulped audibly.
"Yeah, you need to talk to him..." Lily whispered.
"For god's... go kiss James or something," Bess replied, rolling her eyes and tapping the note with her wand. After a moment the dog unfolded itself again.
Lily laughed. "When James starts sending me notes like this, I'll go on a date with him."
Bess smiled and picked up her quill, writing out a reply before tapping the parchment with her wand again.
The note turned back in to a bird and flew away as Lily moved back to her seat at the end of Bess' bed and Bess opened her curtain slightly to let it out.
"What did you say?" Lily asked, snapping off another piece of chocolate.
"That James has a shot..." Bess giggled.
Lily gasped and whacked Bess on the arm. "You did not!"
Bess didn't reply, she just cuddled her pillow and lay back on the bed and sighed.
After a moment, Lily laid down next to her, and both girls stared at the ceiling.
"I have to tell you all. It's... it's not something I can just tell Sirius."
"Is it really that bad?" Lily whispered.
"It's... it's complicated."
Lily nodded. "What's your favourite song?"
Bess grinned. "Don't know, it changes all the time. Honestly, the seventies is like the rock and roll golden era. At the moment though, I think it's Piano Man by Billy Joel."
"I don't think I've heard that one..."
"It only came out this year. I've got the LP if you want to-" Bess stopped herself and grimaced. "Ignore that. Don't fancy going downstairs at the moment, so it'll have to wait. What's yours?"
"I'm not sure really... I haven't heard much Muggle music recently. So I guess... Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Do you know that one?"
Bess burst out laughing. "No!"
"You don't know it? It's so good!" Lily said enthusiastically.
"No, I know it, it's one of my favourites! But Sirius told me James hid his record player because he played it six times in a row!" Bess cried through her laughter.
"No. Seriously? That boy has issues..." Lily said quickly.
"Wonder how long it'll take to become his favourite song..." Bess asked, trailing off as she rubbed her chin before laughing.
"It's back," Lily said, cutting through Bess' giggles.
Bess sighed and pulled back the curtain slightly, letting the bird back in. Again, it circled once, before landing on Bess' outstretched palm.
She tapped it with her wand and didn't even try and stop Lily from reading it. It had obviously been sent by Sirius, but was written in James' handwriting.
He's back tonight at 10. Is Lily coming too?
"What did you say?" Lily whispered, taking the note and reading it again.
"That I needed to talk to you all. Asked when Remus would be back... I said I couldn't see Sirius yet."
"Bess..."
"Trust me, I'll need your support," Bess said, looking to the redhead at her side.
xXx
At five to ten that night, the girls snuck out of their dorm room and tip toed down the stairs, before sneaking up the boys' staircase.
"It's this one..." Lily whispered as she stopped in front of a door which had 'Sixth Year' on the door.
Bess frowned at the next door along, which had the same sign. "How do you know?"
"Uh-" Lily began, before coughing quietly and pointing to a mark on the wall, "it's a snitch..."
Bess raised an eyebrow.
"James doodles them on his notes sometimes," Lily said, blushing slightly.
"So you have noticed...?" Bess whispered back with a smile.
Lily rolled her eyes and lifted her fist to knock on the wooden door. Before she could, it swung open to reveal James.
He was wearing his pyjamas - a fitted green t-shirt and blue flannel trousers which showed off his thin but strong frame - and his hair was tousled as if he'd been lying in bed. His hazel eyes shone brightly behind his glasses as he stared down at Lily, and he had a wide, brilliant smile on his face.
For the first time, Bess noticed how good looking he was. She followed his gaze and looked down at her friend, who was blushing slightly.
"Welcome!" James cried, pulling the door open more, breaking the spell.
When Lily didn't move, Bess nudged her inside and tried not to smile as the redhead stumbled forwards, eyeing up James' biceps.
Looking around, she thought the boys must have cleaned up quickly. The floor was clear, but she could see clothes shoved under Peter's bed, books lying in various stacks around the room, and a couple of jars of sweets peppered around.
"Sirius and Peter went to get Remus. Should be back soon," James said, closing the door and gesturing to the room at large, "make yourselves comfortable!"
Bess grinned and walked over to Sirius' bed, climbing on to it and sitting cross-legged at the end of it.
James looked at her oddly. "How did you...?"
"Oh, uh-" Bess said, before pointing at the miniature motorcycle sat on the bedside table, the record player placed under the bed, and the t-shirt lying on the trunk, "predictable."
James grinned and nodded, before pointing out the boys' beds to the girls. His was surprisingly the cleanest, though Bess had a feeling he'd roughed up Remus' sheets just to make his bed look better.
As James and Lily began to chat, Bess reached over and picked up the miniature motorcycle, peering down at it and turning it in her hands.
She wondered if this was what his motorcycle would look like, and pondered when he'd end up buying his full-sized one. It would be soon, she knew, as he and James would escape from Death Eaters on it in the summer of 1977, but she thought he'd wait until he got his inheritance, whenever that might be.
She was still looking at the motorcycle when the door opened and Sirius and Remus came in, followed by a nervous looking Peter, who ran straight over to his bed and stared between Bess and Lily, as if eyeing up the intruders.
Bess watched as Remus limped over to his bed, Sirius helping him along. When Remus looked up and saw her looking at him, he gulped.
"Uh- I uh- fell down the-"
Bess raised a hand and shook her head. "I fell down a hill. If anyone's judging here, it's not me."
Remus chuckled and nodded, looking a lot less worried. As Sirius turned towards her, she noticed that he was staring at the floor, his jaw clenched.
After a moment, he walked over to his bed and flung himself on it, landing on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He stretched his legs out behind Bess and crossed his arms across his chest.
"Why're you sulking?" Bess whispered, moving round to sit on her heels, facing him.
"I'm not," he said, still staring at the ceiling of his canopy.
"Is it because I wanted to chat to everyone, and not just us two?"
Sirius' silence confirmed her suspicions. She reached down, laced her fingers with his and squeezed his hand slightly as she frowned down at the motorcycle in her other hand, trying to work out what to say.
"See this is awkward, but one of you needs to say something because I'm really tired..." she heard Remus say from his bed.
She smiled at him and let out a breathless laugh, before turning back to see Sirius still staring at the ceiling.
Remus' voice rang out again, "Maybe you go first Bess, because you're the one who wanted us all here?"
She sighed and stood up, walking to the centre of the room. "Could someone..." She said, pointing to the door.
Lily quickly cast some spells and Bess looked down at the motorcycle in her hand, put one foot in front her, and rocked her weight backwards and forwards on her heels and toes, trying to think of how to put it.
"Okay. Motorcycle of truth..." She said, lifting the miniature and taking a deep breath before tapping it slightly against her lips.
She decided to just try and explain everything as close to the truth as possible. She moved her hands to near her stomach and looked down at them as she played with the cycle and spoke. "This is going to sound crazy, but just... hear me out?
"When I woke up in St. Mungo's at the start of the year, I thought I was a Muggle, and that magic only existed within books...
"There was this one book that I loved to read which was about Hogwarts and magic and stuff, and it was my absolute favourite story growing up.
"I used to imagine I was attending Hogwarts, and that I went Diagon Alley, and for jaunts to Wales on the Knight Bus, or apparated to France because I could...
"I- uh- m- my parents weren't nice people. So it was my escape from all of that. I lived an entirely Muggle life. I grew up in London, I went to school there, and stuff, and then when I was eighteen I left home and worked and stuff until I went to university.
"That's like... further education for Muggles... I was twenty years old when I closed my eyes to go to sleep and woke up... here."
She heard Lily let out a little gasp, but continued on.
"I was in so much pain, the potions barely touched it. I think they thought I was dying so they'd put me in an almost silent ward. When I woke up I couldn't say anything, my throat was so hoarse, so it took them ages to come to find me because I couldn't call out to them.
"When they did realise I was awake and lucid, they moved me to a children's ward and I started to recover... But I was scared and in a weird world, so I started reading books because-"
"You're a nerd?" James interjected.
Bess looked up at him and smiled slightly as Lily slapped him round the back of the head and shushed him.
Bess took a second to think of where she'd got to before she continued, "I- uh yeah... uh- and I realised that there were lots of things that I'd been dreaming about as a kid, that were real here... and so I wrote... to Dumbledore.
"And uh- I asked if I could study here. He came to see me and said no, but I managed to convince him somehow, and he said that if I passed some of my OWLs, then he'd let me in.
"Uh- the first time I met you guys, I was on my way to get a textbook, and I think it shocked me a bit. You were all going to be in my year probably, so I kind of... ran?
"And then when I saw you all at Hogsmeade and then in Hogwarts during exams, I didn't want to be around any of you just in case I couldn't study here. But then I got the grades, and I got to come to Hogwarts, which was amazing!
"Uh- and the sorting hat wanted to put me in to Hufflepuff, but I... asked to be put in to Gryffindor, because it was the house the character in the book I used to read had been in. But- uh-" Bess stopped and put a hand on her forehead. "Sorry, I'm rambling...
"Dumbledore thinks that as a coping mechanism for what happened to me, I created these false memories and hid magic within them, so that if I ever woke up, I'd not be too defenceless.
"And that my parents were actually nice people, but I made them awful in my mind so that I wouldn't have to deal with their deaths properly. I think that's why I don't talk about them. To me... they're not..." Bess took a deep, shaky breath in before continuing, "that's also why I have loads of gaps where I have no idea what things are, but then other things I could recite you the background of in my sleep.
"Like I know that we're meeting in the boys' dorms because you guys can't go up our stairs without it turning in to a slide, but Lily had to explain what a Mudblood was to me..."
She reached up and scratched the top of her head. "It's why I'm trying to remember things and write it in my notebook... because if I can remember things from the book that I read when I was a kid, then I might remember a spell or something that was important.
"... and it feels like I'm me, Bess, and then the girl who was attacked was Daphne. I don't remember her life at all. So I feel like we're... two separate people almost."
Bess put her head in one of her hands and sighed. After a moment she pulled her hand down her face and groaned, "I know. I know I sound crazy." She shrugged and bit her lip. She could feel the tears streaming down her face and she sniffed and wiped them away with the heels of her palms.
"I just wanted you all to know, because you're all amazing and have been so kind and wonderful and welcoming and I feel like I'm lying to you all every day, because sometimes when you explain something, I already know it and stuff." When no one said anything, she took a deep breath in.
"Aaaaaand this is why Dumbledore said I should just not tell anyone and stop being friends with people... I sound... Absolutely delusional!" She laughed bitterly, nodded again, and wiped her nose on her sleeve before walking over to Sirius and dropping the motorcycle on his chest. She made sure not to look at anyone as she did, and turned towards the door. "I should go-"
"That's your secret?" Sirius asked.
She turned to look at him as he sat up on his bed, staring at her.
She wiped her nose again and nodded, biting her lip. "Uh- yeah... it's..."
"Love. That's... That's... honestly? Understandable."
Bess blinked. "It is?"
"Well, yeah. I mean... Jasper told us all what you went through. This... this makes a lot of sense as to how... okay... you are about a lot of things," he said, standing and pulling her to him.
Bess hadn't really thought about it like that, but it really did sound kind of reasonable that this had happened. Especially in a world where she was standing in a room with a werewolf and three animagi.
"Let me get this straight though... you were meant to be a badger?" James said in an incredulous tone.
Bess felt mentally drained. She'd been so worried about their reactions, that she hadn't even had a chance to think that they would be positive. "You're all taking this a lot better than I thought you would. Honestly, it's all a bit anticlimactic..." she said with a small chuckle as she rubbed her forehead.
James smiled at her and said, "Oh, we have questions. Hundreds of them. Millions, probably... And if you'd said all this when we first met you we'd have said you were crazy, but... we know you now. And Dumbledore trusts you. So we'll give you... Three?" He looked around and nodded at everyone. "Yeah three days, and then we'll start the questioning."
Bess let out a laugh. "Are you... are you sure it's not too mad?"
"Honestly, Bess, we're all a bit mad here," Remus called from his bed.
Bess turned to shoot him an appreciative smile.
"Actually... there might not be any questions... once you've heard my secret..." Sirius said quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "I think... I think because mine is... bad... we were expecting yours to be worse than it is. Which is why we're probably taking it a lot better than you thought. Yours... it's... it's personal and vulnerable. Mine is..."
Bess looked up at him and felt his arms squeeze her closer to him, as if this was the last hug they'd ever have. She felt him press a kiss to her head, before motioning for her to sit on the bed again.
He sat down as well, facing her, one knee on the bed, his other leg dangled over the side, his foot touching the floor. He picked up the motorcycle and played with it in his hands as he looked down.
He took a deep breath and started, "Earlier this year, I told Snivellus-"
"Snape," Bess interjected firmly.
Sirius looked up at her and frowned. "What?"
"Sirius, please. His name is Snape."
Sirius sighed and nodded. "Fine. I told Snape how to... uh-" Sirius looked up to the ceiling and then back down again, as if trying to find the words to explain himself.
"There's this... thing... that happens ever so often, and Snape kept asking questions about it, and a friend of mine who's protective over the event, started getting nervous.
"One day I thought Snape had gone too far in his search for answers, so I... I told him where to look to find it. He went to where it was, and... the event happened and it... it could have killed him.
"I told James what I'd done, and he stopped Snape in time, but if James hadn't, then he could have died."
Bess looked up and made eye contact with Lily. If Bess hadn't already known what had happened, this would have been all she'd have needed to confirm that 'event' meant Remus' transformation in to a werewolf.
Silence filled the room.
Bess didn't know what to say. She frowned down at her hands and opened and closed her mouth a few times. She just couldn't find the words. Eventually, she said, "why... why would you do that?"
She didn't look at Sirius - she didn't want to see his face - she didn't even need to look to know that his jaw was clenched, his face filled with worry and upset.
"I- I was angry. He kept trying to... he... I can't explain it properly, but... in my stupid head, I thought it would... I- I thought it would serve him right. He was always trying to find things out, and I told him where to find answers. I can't even say I didn't think he'd go down there."
Bess frowned. "Down where?"
"Uh- just... somewhere dangerous."
Bess knew Sirius was lying, but even if she didn't, she could hear it in his voice.
"And why did he... go down there?" she asked quietly.
"Because he wanted to prove that the event happened, so he could try and... and... expose it." Sirius said, trying to find the words to describe Snape's actions.
"W- Why are you telling me this?"
She was genuinely confused as to why he was explaining the event. He'd never shown proper remorse for it in the books, he'd thought it was a joke gone wrong. So why was he doing this now? Why would he be telling her? And especially in front of Remus.
This wasn't to say that Bess thought Snape was completely blameless in this - he obviously knew exactly what was waiting for him at the end of the tunnel, and wanted to go there anyway so that he could get evidence that Remus was a werewolf. At least, she definitely got that impression from the type of person he was to her. He had, after all, helped attack Bess just a week and a half before.
"Because... I don't know. I guess because earlier this year you saw a side of me that you seemed to hate, and I knew that if I didn't tell you this, then I'd be hurting you again," Sirius replied quietly.
"How would not knowing this hurt me?" Bess asked in a whisper.
"Because you'd find out eventually, and if you knew I was hiding this from you..." Sirius trailed off, but she could tell there was something else he desperately wanted to say.
"There're things... memories... that I'm hiding from all of you," Bess whispered, as a nauseous feeling rose in her stomach.
She hadn't thought about what would happen if or when the war ended. How would she tell Sirius that she knew the future, and some of his past?
Sirius sighed. "That's different. Those are personal memories which affect you and your past. Literally the whole school knows about Snape and what happened. You'd hear about it eventually. Except... they know Snape went down there, and that James saved him. They don't know it was me who sent him down there. Only Snape and the people in this room know that...
"But here's the thing... when Regulus shoved you, and then when Snape helped attack you during half term, I realised that... you wouldn't be safe... and if we're ever going to be together, then you need to know why.
"For Regulus, it's that I've disgraced my family name by renouncing their blood purism and leaving home. I- I'll explain that more later... and Snape... he'll do anything he can to get his own back on me for last year. I just... I just know that they know how important you are, and you just won't be safe because of that."
"Why do they think I'm important?" Bess asked as her eyes darted between different spots on the floor, her mind whirring at a hundred miles an hour as her fingers gripped the mattress as hard as she could.
Why on earth would Regulus and Snape get it in to their heads that she was important in some way?
Most of Sirius' words hadn't registered in her mind properly and she had clung on to his last sentence. Her mind had gone off on a tangent as she felt the panic rise in her chest, making her heart thump uncomfortably and her breathing escalate.
"They know how important you are, and you won't be safe", whirled around and around in her head. Do all of the Death Eaters know about me? Will they work out that I'm planning on killing Voldemort? Would they try to get to me more and more? Oh god. No one's going to be safe... I need to stop this. I need to stop these relationships. I nee-
Her thoughts were interrupted as Sirius took one of her hands in his and said, "because they've worked out what I've known since you told me about Regulus shoving you to the ground."
Bess' eyes stopped darting around, and she looked down at their intertwined hands, trying to think of what the two future, or current, Death Eaters would have found out two and a half weeks ago.
"What?" She whispered, her brow furrowing.
Sirius reached up and put his index finger and thumb to Bess' chin and tilted her face up so that he could look into her tear filled eyes.
"That I've fallen in love with you."
xXx
A/N:
Hope this chapter was okay! We're now 25 chapters in, so I'm taking a quick break! Not to worry, I'll be back in a few days with more, but I just need a couple of days to rest my fingers!
Thank you again to all of my lovely reviewers - Guest, Ghost Claw 001, collegestudent34 - (thank you, I've added that in to the summary now!), Anthro79, CharlotteGryffindor, idreamtosmilealways, and MadisonJM! (I genuinely can't believe I've got 100 reviews, this is crazy!)
Thank you to everyone reading, following and favouriting as well, you guys are the best!