This is another super old work I started a long time ago but never really gotten round to finishing. It took me a minute to get back into it cause I wasn't too sure where it was going or even what was happening in it but after a few readings and listening to the song that's playing on it I finally remembered. This chapter is short but super heavy, also a bit disturbing in places too as well so just warning emotional manipulation and barely consensual intercourse.
This is also a songfic on top of all that too. I'll leave the song list til the end at the bottom.
This is a follow up to Angry Pair and Make Up Pair from Seta-Gane Shorts so read those first for some context.
Healing
Naoto pulled her significant other into the room. The hum of her MP3 file playing from her phone rhythmically played in the back ground. Souji was faintly aware of the song playing; his heart dropped at the negative connotations it generated within him, wondering if that's how Naoto felt, regardless of the warmth generated holding Naoto's hand in his.
"Souji-kun..." She whispered as she rounded to face him to briefly break the connection the hand before taking both his hands in hers. "...Please hold me."
Her voice was a breathily quiet, with her tears slowly forming in the corner of her eyes.
"I'm so-" She placed a finger on his lips; her neutral expression was still there, only thing he was able to read was the slight blush that was still there.
"Just be here with me..." She leaned up to kiss him with a lot more passion than he was expecting as her arms travelled around his neck to hold on to him like he might leave her.
His arms enclosed behind her back, pulling her closer, he could feel her mew lightly into his mouth.
'See, my days are cold without you...'
Considering everything that was happening today, he wasn't sure if he should take this further if this all Naoto wanted. The Sleuth sensed his hesitation as he didn't kiss back as deeply as she initiated. Taking charge she leapt up and locked her legs around his waist. Souji forced to scoop her up to keep the balance for the both of them.
'But I'm hurting while I'm with you...'
She felt her boyfriend pull away from her suddenly fierce kiss slowly to look at her questionably, wondering if it was ok for him to continue. Naoto's eyes met his in the darkness, as she looked at him, debating his silent question.
'And though my heart can't take no more...'
Naoto's face turned to the smallest of frustrated frowns as she leaned back slightly to balance herself on him. In an aggravated rush she forceful undid the buttons on Souji's' dress shirt, making her cleavage visible. Souji readjusted his stance at the sudden shift in weight but almost stumbled as she quickly leaned back in and roughly kissed his neck pulling out a small groan from the recipient.
'I keep running on back to you...'
Using her weight she leaned back enough for Souji to tip forward and bring both of them crashing to the bed. The Detective's grip didn't falter as her tongue circled his ear lobe and sucked deeply. Souji braced himself on his hands, forcefully breaking away from her with an expression full of worry.
"Are you sure you want this?" He motioned to the song playing in the background. All too aware of the feeling it brings to the surface.
'See, my days are cold without you...'
Her frown grew, now going into the territory of agitated.
'But I'm hurting while I'm with you...'
One of Naoto's arms let go of his neck to reach up in the bed to hit the next button on her phone. There was a moment of silence in the room before the next song plays.
'Oooh, I can't wait to get next to you...'
"Happy?" Souji's raised an eye brow, humour absent from his current expression.
"As long as you can forgive me." Naoto shook her head.
"Ask me that when we are done."
'Oooh, I just can't leave you alone...'
Souji leaned up to look down at his girlfriend who looked up frustrated wonder before tugging at the waist band of his long shorts motioning for him to disrobe. Clumsily he untied the fastener rope at the front for his shorts for it to come loose. Souji quickly stood up to strip, not wanting to keep the clearly agitated Naoto waiting.
'Boy you got me doing things I would never do...'
As soon as his shorts was at his knees she growled, pulling them towards herself, dragging him with them causing him to tumble and fall unceremoniously back to the bed. Pulling them with frustration, eyes narrowed as they snagged at his ankles until they came free after a little resistance. She threw them aside, with the muted thump of them hitting the ground in a lost corner of the room.
'I can't stop the way I'm feeling if I wanted too'
Pulling her panties down her lithe legs she threw them at Souji's chest before she mounted his waist. Even in the dark she could feel his eyes on hers, the contrast of two separate emotions between them. Souji started to reach out to her but she swatted his hand away mid flight before scooping his wrists up in one hand and holding them above his head against the bed. Even with the act of sheer dominance Souji didn't resist.
'I'm crazy bout the way you that you could make me say your name'
"Souji-kun..." She muttered, a voice coming somewhere between resentful and frustrated. The burning in her eyes evident, shrinking Souji who was helplessly under her. She continued the earlier task of unbuttoning her dress shirt until her breasts fell free from their loose confinement. Souji's lost second break of eye contact to look at her mounds was not lost on her.
'And if I couldn't have you, I would probably go insane, 'cause'
"Look at me." She told him sternly. Souji looked up seeing her eyes once again tearing up and starting to free fall. He said nothing but looked on, eye brows raised in concerned. His look of worry only annoyed her more.
"Look at me!" She growled again, making sure she had his attention. Her voice was fierce, struggling to keep the composure she'd be holding for the night. Music now reflecting in the rotation of emotions she was cycling through.
'Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
And only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there'
"I'm here." He replied softly, trying to soothe her soul with his words, her eyes fighting to keep her ferociousness to not be quelled by them. In her mind she had a point to prove, she didn't know what it was but for the first time in a while she shut off the rational side of her brain to show her feelings. As her love for him started to contaminate the other emotions she felt from everything that's happened in the past week.
'Ooh, I can't wait to get next to you'
Her expression steeled as her free hand grasped his arousal currently growing despite the rollercoaster of emotions in their bed. The equal measure of pain and pleasure brought a strangled cry from the former leader, at the mercy of his partner's whims.
'Oooh, I just can't leave you alone...'
She lined herself up hovering above his heat as she stared into his eyes. Challenging him to do something, and to do it now. It agitated her that she couldn't drag him down to her level of self pity and anger. She felt stupid that regardless that they've seemingly buried the mater for now she still felt agitated at the lack of closure. He was too precious to her and she couldn't imagine a life without him around after everything they've been through. How can he stay so calm, how could he let things go so easily.
Hoping to find answers she sunk down on him forcing a gasp from his mouth.
'Boy, you stay inside my mind, ain't no denying that'
The familiar full feeling overcame her but she flexed around him getting used to the abrupt intrusion. Even in the moonlight's shade, she could see his face clearly, sensation clearly over come him as his arms tensed and face strained. His eyes clenched shut. Seeing his cool persona crumble was progress in her mind, knowing that he was still human.
'And only you could do them things that got me coming back'
"Now you know how I feel." Was the sharp whisper with an almost sinister edge to it. She started to grind against him. It was rough and aggressive taking all of him at once with a crude rotation of the hips. Making sure he felt all of her once, she stopped swiveled causing him to groan.
'It gotta be the realist thing that I have ever felt'
"You can't leave me..." She growled again as she picked up the pace, going faster. Now riding him with renewed vigour, letting go of his wrists, she placed both palms against his chest, shoving her discarded panties out of the way to sit up right to get a better angle. Making sure she put enough pressure on him so he couldn't sit up himself.
'And I'll do what I gotta do to keep you to myself, 'cause'
"You can't leave me!" She shouted as her anger and frustration starting to lose focus. "You can't disappear after everything we've been through." She sobbed angrily. Her tears dropped on to his naked chest, staining him with her sorrow.
"I don't want this with anyone else! You are everything to me!" She cried as her riding only got harder and more intense as she started to emotionally breakdown. She shut her eyes desperate for some closure on her sadness, that she wasn't the only one irrational in thinking there was an all too true possibility that she could lose him in a situation like earlier this week. She couldn't live with that, couldn't live with herself if he was gone. She's lost so many people close to her so early. She couldn't...
'Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
And only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there'
She felt a hand at her waist, firm but full of warmth. It was light but had enough there to feel comfort. She blinked the tears away to look down on him. When her eyes met his she audibly gasped. His expression was soft, fighting off the pleasure she was force feeding him but this time tears of his own formed in the corner of his eyes, slowly running down his face. It was subtle but she knew him well enough that this was rare. The last time this happened was...
...Nanako...
Crazy (crazy)
'Bout the ('bout the)
Way you (make me)
"You are my life, Naoto. I'm your sword and shield and whatever you need me to be..." His eyes closed, tears still falling. "I don't know what I couldn't do for you."
The pang of guilt hit her hard as she openly started to cry above him at his sign of weakness on display. His words were openly sincere and his eyes had never lied for as long as she's known him.
'Feel
I just (I just)
Gotta (gotta)
Have you (have you)'
"I don't want to seem distant but I'm not sure what else I can say. I'll give my life for you..." He took a deep breath knowing he was still inside his girlfriend, her kegel muscles messing with his mind. "After everything we've been though. It's why I value you so much..."
Naoto tried to wipe the tears from her eyes but they just kept flowing.
Here
And I (and I)
Wanna (wanna)
Let you (let you)
"I know. But please don't scare me again. I can't... I just can't..."
Know
I won't (I won't)
Ever (ever)
Let you (let you)
Go
Souji's hands massaged her waist lovingly. Doing the best he could to reassure his loved one.
"I'll do whatever I can where ever I can. I don't want to go." Her dam of emotions broke as she ducked down to kiss him sloppily, not sure who tears she tasted on her lips but it felt one in the same. It representing the issues they still face with her insecurities and his complex about self value. It's something as a pair they had to fix, they had to learn from.
One thing she learned from today is that they couldn't do without each other.
'Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
And only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there'
Souji broke the kiss.
"I can't hold on."
All Naoto did was sob against his shoulder as her hips worked faster, wanting to free him from this torture. Free the both of them and bask in the darkness together. She felt his hands tense around her hips as he thrust upwards. Howling her name into the night as she felt him fill her up with whatever he had. In twisted pleasure she sobbed harder as her body shuddered against him, following him off the edge, not sure what she felt more, the pulse of his essence or his heart frantically beating.
"Please stay with me..." As she cuddled against him, scared to let him go.
"It's all I want to do..." Strong arms wrapping around her, keeping her close.
...Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough...
Ooh, I can't wait to get next to you
Oh, I just can't leave you alone
...
...
...
The first song that was in this fic was Foolish by Ashanti. The second one was Only U also by Ashanti. I remember originally listening to these songs and being inspired by the story they were trying to tell. While Foolish is a bit too much leaning in one direction for it to make sense for this couple I definitely think the opening lines really help set the tone for these two.
Only U is great because it encapsulates Naoto need to not be alone where the underlying tone of how much she loves him comes to ahead, even more so when they are in danger. The thought alone of something that might happened to him is enough to spook her into considering the worse timeline. At the end of the day, her being a detective has made her cynical to the world and she has to account for every possibility in a situation regardless of how bleak or dark it maybe. Sometimes it too much for her to bare and she has to let it out. Souji's is understanding of it and gives her the space and time to burn it out, he's just that type of guy. Doesn't mean he isn't afraid to show he can't falter too cause who knows what might happen, and anything happening to Naoto just gives him flashback to Nanako which he swore to himself would never happen again.