~O~
The Way It Can Be
After the falling rain, Iroh had been walking alone to survey the damages done near the campsite. He couldn't believe that he found what he did in those forests along the way; Sen's immobile body lying in the mud, covered with boar-q-pine quills.
"Captain Sen?" he gasped, rushing to her side.
He slipped his hands beneath her and turned her around, studying her filthy, scratched features before leaning forward with one ear to her lips, feeling a very faint breath emerging. She was still alive as far as he could tell, but barely. She must have been out here for the entirety of the storm. He was amazed that she was still breathing at all.
"General Iroh?"
Iroh looked back when he noticed Katara and Sokka approaching. Their eyes widened when she saw Sen in his arms and Sokka withdrew his sword, frantically waving it in her direction. "That's the crazy Fire Nation captain!" he cried.
Iroh looked at Katara. "She's still alive. She needs our help."
"Are you crazy?" Sokka exclaimed, glaring at him. "She's nuts! We can't help her!"
Iroh ignored him and stood up, carrying Sen in his arms. "Katara, I'm going to need you." he told her, "I know what Sen has done - her reputation in the Fire Nation is known among many - but," He stared down at the bloodied creature in his arms, his gaze softening, "I have a feeling something might have changed. She was out here alone in the storm."
Katara seemed hesitant. "General Iroh, are you sure?"
Iroh nodded his head. "Let's get back to camp."
Sokka groaned and slouched his shoulders, watching as the two started forward. He grudgingly followed behind them. "Does anybody ever listen to me when I say 'this is crazy'?" he griped, "Or am I talking to myself here?"
Iroh looked down at Sen and his features were piteous. "She'll have some explaining to do, that much is certain..."
O
Sen felt nothing but pain.
Her eyes opened and she found herself in a well-lavished tent. She was lying in a rolled-out comforter with a red blanket sporting the Fire Nation insignia. Sen struggled to sit up, but the pain that lanced through her body was so unbearable, she nearly threw up and fell back onto the pillows. She noticed that her armor had been removed and her abdomen patched up. She had a few bandages on her arms and felt some of them on her legs as well.
Wait...how did I get here? Sen wondered.
She looked up as Iroh stepped into the tent, carrying a tray of tea and food. He smiled. "Oh, you're awake. Good."
Sen frowned, confused. "General Iroh?"
"Relax, you're not among enemies here," Iroh assured her, "I've made you some tea and - "
Before he had a chance to finish, Sen was devouring the food on the tray - something similar to meat, but she was too hungry to care what it was - and gulping down the tea in a single swallow. Iroh watched her with surprise before he waited silently for her to finish. When she was done, he spoke.
"Sen, what happened out there?" he asked. "Why were you alone in the storm?"
Sen opened her mouth to speak, but when Zuko and Aang entered the tent, she glared at them. "You!" she spat.
Iroh quickly grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to remain before she could start fighting with the other two. "Enough, Sen!" he ordered, "You're going to agitate your wounds if you start picking fights!"
Sen glared at him in protest. "But - "
"No, Sen!" Iroh argued, "They are NOT your enemies!"
Sen eventually relaxed with a bitter snort when she realized that perhaps, he had been right. Zuko waited a few moments before he stepped forward. "So I guess you broke the truth to my sister, huh?"
"How'd you know?" Sen snapped, though she looked mildly surprised.
"You wouldn't have been wandering in the forest for no reason," Zuko replied. "Since you're here, I guess Azula didn't take it well?"
Sen didn't answer and simply looked away, pursing her lips tight. Aang took a careful step forward and sat down in front of her. "Sen, listen..." he said, "I know what it's like to feel something for someone you think won't love you back. It hurts, it really does. But - "
Zuko interrupted him. "My sister's insane, Sen!" he told her, "She doesn't care about anyone but herself. Did you really expect her to just accept you and throw herself into your arms?"
Iroh held up a hand. "Nephew! Easy..."
No, of course Sen didn't expect it. But it was better to have told her at all than let the idea consume her. She had to tell her. She had to tell someone.
"I wouldn't mind it..." Sen said quietly, her eyes filled with pain, "I would have not minded it if she wanted me gone. If she found me appalling or disgusting. So long as I was allowed to have that one moment with her. So... So long as she is happy, then I can be just the same."
"She can't be reasoned with!" Zuko protested.
Sen's gaze hardened. "YOU betrayed HER. You, Ty Lee, and Mai. You weren't there when it happened. Azula is, in fact, a formidable bender with considerable ability to detach herself from many things, but I was the one who witnessed her mental collapse. The betrayal took much more of a toll on her than you realize." Her eyes landed on Aang and Iroh. "It was worse than ANY ONE of you could ever realize."
Zuko and Aang tensed, bristling where they stood.
She glared at them for moments longer before sighing, features smoothing out of any fury. "Anything but her...no longer matters."
Just then, Momo flew into the tent and landed on Sen. She stared at the creature and he tilted his head with a curious chirp. Aang and Zuko looked surprised when Momo licked the firebender's nose and snuggled up into her lap. Sen stared down at the animal and rolled her eyes with a grumble, but lightly stroked his fur with one hand.
"Well, Momo likes her," Aang said, smiling.
Zuko groaned and covered his face with one hand.
O
Piandao was talking with Toph and Suki who were on board an eel hound when Sen emerged from the tent, struggling to fit her final armor piece on without wincing in agony. It was a little easier after drinking the tea Iroh had prepared, but she was still sore; still going to be in a lot of pain for a while.
She noticed Zuko and Katara on Appa and approached them.
"I'm going with you," she said.
Katara's gaze was gentler than Zuko's.
"What?" Zuko snapped, "You'll just get in the way!"
Sen's eyes narrowed. "I won't allow you to hurt her."
Zuko started to argue, but Katara interrupted him. "Sen, there may be something you can do," she said, with a small, almost kind smile. "You should come with us. We could use all the help we can get."
Sen smiled a little in response. The prince seemed disgusted with this, but offered no argument as Sen climbed into Appa's saddle with Katara and they took to the skies. The trip was sure to be awkward, but she didn't care.
Sen remained silent throughout the trip while Zuko and Katara discussed their plan in private. She barely even registered the orange sky, only thinking about Azula and what would happen once she returned to a place that she was banished from.
"Zuko, don't worry. We can take Azula." Katara assured him.
"It's not her I'm worried about. I'm worried about Aang," Zuko said, staring ahead, "What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?"
Katara shook her head with determination. "Aang won't lose. He's gonna come back. He has to."
Zuko didn't seem so sure.
Sen's mind was elsewhere besides the conversation. She only thought of Azula.
She would ask for forgiveness. No, even beg for it, if she had to.
"Sen..." Katara spoke, albeit carefully.
Sen looked at her, lips parting in surprise when she'd spoken. "Hi." she said. "What is it?"
"I know this is going to sound a little...weird," Katara told her, "But I'm sorry. About Azula. About what happened."
Sen blinked a few times, fighting the emotion. "Mm, I...I know that sorry won't really fix what I've done to all of you."
Zuko frowned at that, but didn't speak.
"I'm...I'm just seeing things differently." Sen continued. "I feel like such a fool and I...I don't want to do it anymore."
Katara nodded slightly. She gave her a sympathetic smile.
Once they arrived, the Fire Nation Capital didn't exactly welcome them as expected. Appa had to dodge through the air to avoid the blasts of fire from the benders below and nearly collided into several buildings in the process.
Sen jumped from Appa and landed in the street as several firebenders clad in armor charged for her. She looked up at Zuko and Katara, calling up. "I'll take care of this! Just go!" she ordered. Once Appa disappeared over the buildings, Sen turned her attention to the benders.
"Captain Sen, you have been banished from the Fire Nation Capital!" one of the benders said, raising his fist.
"Banish this!" Sen spat.
She performed a fierce swing of her leg, sending a violet wave of fire at the benders. The blast sent them flying through the air before Sen bent another wave of fire vertically, slamming them into the ground with the force of it. It hurt performing the motions, but she fought through the pain. Spirits, did she have to fight through it.
While they were immobile, she rushed down the street and stopped a soldier astride a Komodo Rhino. He was so startled by her presence, he barely had a chance to defend himself. She grabbed his ankle and yanked him from the creature before climbing onto it herself.
"Hey!" the soldier yelled after her.
The Komodo Rhino raced through the streets, riding with the very determination of the Captain on its back.
Azula...I'm coming... Sen promised.
When she turned a corner, the Komodo Rhino skidded to a halt. In front of her stood several Fire Nation soldiers, poised to attack. Sen's eyes narrowed with venom. This would definitely take some time to deal with.
"Let me pass and you won't have to die." she warned, with a show of her teeth.
"No! Turn back and YOU won't have to die!" a soldier shot back.
Sen groaned with frustration and her violet flames appeared around a single clenched fist. "Fine."
Meanwhile, Azula was moments away from being crowned the next Fire Lord. She was anxious and frantic to get it over with, but the sages stopped and looked ahead in surprise. Azula scowled and glared back at them.
"What are you waiting for? Do it!" she ordered.
Appa's bellowing roar was heard in the distance Azula turned back around to see Appa landing in the plaza courtyard. Zuko and Katara stepped down from the animal and he faced his sister with determination.
"Sorry, but you're not gonna become Fire Lord today. I am." he snapped.
Azula merely laughed mockingly. "You're hilarious."
"And you're going down." Katara said, standing in a waterbender stance.
The Fire Sage was just about to crown Azula the new Fire Lord, regardless of what Katara and Zuko have just said, until Azula signaled with her hand for him to stop. "Wait," she ordered him. She stood up from her kneeling position and smirked at her brother. "You want to be Fire Lord? Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"
Zuko glared at her, nodding. "You're on."
Katara turned to face Zuko, very surprised by this. "What are you doing? She's playing you," she whispered, "She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us."
Zuko glanced at her. "I know. But I can take her this time," he assured her, "There's something off about her; Sen mentioned that she had a mental breakdown. I don't know exactly, but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt."
Katara looked hesitant, but nodded.
O
Sen stood around piles of Fire Nation soldiers, lying on the ground in pain. Most of them had been killed by her attacks, but a few remained alive; wounded and immobile. She herself had suffered burns across her armor and her older wounds had been agitated to the point that they bled again, but she was determined to reach the palace at any cost.
She started to climb back onto her Komodo Rhino when the sound and sight of lightning emerging from the palace plaza made her look back in horror.
Nonononononono... she thought frantically.
The Komodo Rhino sprinted toward the palace walls and Sen bent a blast of fire that completely destroyed the double doors to splinters. Sen rushed into the plaza, stunned to find Azula bound in chains on a water grate. She was lying on her side, frantically thrashing about and sobbing. Sen climbed off of the Komodo Rhino, pushed passed Katara and Zuko and knelt to Azula's side.
"Azula!" she cried, "Azula, stop!"
The Fire Nation Princess screamed and sobbed, fighting Sen as she wrapped her arms protectively around her, attempting to keep her from hurting herself. Zuko and Katara watched the scene in silent shock, saying nothing or attempting to stop what was going on. Azula's hands were tightly bound, so she couldn't really fight back when Sen held her.
"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay," Sen soothed, "It's going to be okay."
Azula screamed tearfully at her before she exhausted herself and finally relaxed, crying in Sen's shoulder harder than Zuko had ever heard her cry before. In fact, he never once heard his sister cry like that in his life.
Sen hesitantly reached up and patted her head, a gentle touch that didn't linger. She was afraid she would cross the line in some way, so she continued to just soothe the princess by rocking gently back and forth as if she was comforting a child.
Zuko watched the sight with amazement. Though he had no idea before, he could see it now just by watching Sen's eyes that it was true.
She really did love his sister.
"I'm here," Sen assured her. She smiled weakly. "I know it's not much, but I'm here."
Disoriented, Azula looked up at her, smelling the burns on her armor and seeing the wounds she'd suffered. "Sen?" she mumbled.
Sen smiled at her, though her gaze was cautious.
Azula didn't make any further argument and sighed, as if exhaustion finally overtook her. She closed her eyes and leaned into the other woman.
Sen's body was exhausted as she embraced Azula, kneeling on the grate. She smelled her own blood, her wounds from the Boar-Q-Pine torn open. Her body was aching from running, fighting. But she was so relieved to have made it, saved Azula from what she felt was her death.
"You're...alright, Azula..." she breathed, "I'm so glad."
Sen let out a long, exhausted sigh and collapsed to the marble floor of the courtyard and both Zuko and Katara went to her aid.
O
Sen was laying there, bloody and broken. Katara knelt down to her and Sen groaned softly.
"Oh, you're alive!" Katara gasped, relieved.
Sen nodded weakly, reaching out for her. Katara took her hand and helped her by letting her lean on her shoulder. Sen looked around, then her eyes widened when she saw Azula was gone.
"Where is she?" she gasped.
"Sen, wait," Katara didn't look at her. "We need to get you help."
"WHERE IS SHE?" Sen shouted, frantic now.
She didn't wait for an answer and rushed through the palace to find Azula. She could hear voices and fought through the exhaustion and pain to reach them.
Zuko was there with many others and they were taking her away in chains. Sen groaned pleadingly, stepping in front of them.
"No, no, no, please!" she begged. "Please, don't take her away!"
Zuko shook his head, speaking softly. "Sen, we have no choice."
"You have a choice!" Sen shrieked, her voice desperate. "You can't do this to her! She doesn't need to be locked away, she needs help. You can't give up on her. You're her brother, for Spirit's sake!"
Azula was thrashing in her chains, spitting with wrath. "Don't touch me!" she shouted, up at the guards.
Sen was on her knees now, begging the prince. "Please, I'm begging you, don't do this."
Zuko read the desperation in her expression, glanced at those watching. He sighed and shut his eyes before nodding.
"Okay, Sen."
Sen let out a relieved laugh and those around Zuko couldn't believe what they were hearing. She approached Azula and the other girl stared through her.
"Azula, we're going to get you someplace safe," Sen assured her, "Somewhere you can get the help you need."
When she started to unravel the chains, Azula began to struggle, eyes widening. Sen tried to calm her, but she started struggling more.
"No, no..." Azula hissed.
"Azula, please, it's alright."
"No, Sen, I won't!"
Katara winced and watched the scene with anguish as Sen struggled to calm Azula down. "You must!" Sen pleaded, "They'll take you away if you don't! I - Zuko, please!"
O
Sen wrapped her arms around Azula, listening to her anguished wails and screams as she thrashed.
Sen clenched her teeth, eyes filling as she struggled to help them get her into the facility. Her physical strength surpassed Azula's, but she didn't want to hurt her.
Azula was screaming at her, at everyone around her. She cursed them all, cursed their families and everyone who came before them.
This was destroying Sen; having to hold her steady like this with her hands closed around her wrists in a crisscross fashion against her chest. It was like holding an armful of wriggling eels. Azula just wouldn't sit still.
"Azula, please..." she pleaded.
"Shut up!" Azula screamed, over and over as tears poured down her cheeks; her horrible wails came like a mantra, echoing through the corridors of the institution, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
O
Several years later...
The new Fire Lord observed the sight with impatience.
Zuko wasn't thrilled with how often Sen had gone to see his sister at the mental institution. He never thought it was a safe thing for her, but Aang had reassured him constantly that "it was a good chance for Azula and Sen to heal".
He had watched Sen travel where the prisoners were held every single day, knowing that it had to be supervised. Iroh even reminded him that it was good that they had each other in a world that wouldn't have them.
Though Sen was in a much better mood too. He'd never seen her as happy as she was.
"Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko," Sen told him, giving him a proper bow when they arrived at the island.
She was dressed in fancy Fire Nation attire and carried a pouch of food. Zuko permitted this only after he'd surveyed what she brought with her.
Sen was led to Azula's cell by two doctors and the princess smiled when she saw her. Though Azula was bound tightly in a straight jacket, safety was always a concern even still; so they kept her in a chair during the day when she had visitors and made sure she couldn't move properly.
"Sen, did you bring me something today?" Azula asked. She curled her nose at the two doctors standing by the cell door. "These fools have NO IDEA what food is."
Sen smiled and nodded. "I did."
"Good." Azula replied, straightening a bit in her chair, "I always look forward to real food in the afternoon." She smiled. "So, what IS on the menu today?"
Sen sat down in front of her at the edge of her bed and began taking out a few dishes. "Well, I brought Roast Duck...Mochi...Sea Soup in case you're still hungry later...Tart Pie..." While she was listing off the food, she occasionally heated them up with firebending in the process.
"Mmm, those are some of my favorites!" Azula said.
Sen smiled sheepishly. "I know. Um...Ty Lee told me."
"Of course." Azula rolled her eyes with a murmur of amusement.
Sen picked up a set of chopsticks and decided to feed the Roast Duck to the Princess first. Azula was often very annoyed with the fact that she had to be fed like a child, but Sen suggested that it was easier than trying to eat her food with her face.
Azula wasn't keen on the idea of looking undignified, so she figured that being fed was easier. The two doctors watching whispered to Sen about how Azula had been on special medicine at the time to make her more pleasant to handle.
Azula studied Sen's features for a moment before she smirked, finishing a bite. "Sen, are you...wearing makeup?" she asked.
Sen looked flustered and shifted a bit. "Um...I might be."
"You are, aren't you?" Azula laughed, "I've never seen you wear it before!"
Wearing makeup did make Sen's facial scars look somewhat less obvious; even the permanent grimace of her face didn't seem quite as bad. She had all but stopped wearing a mask and felt that it wasn't proper to do so anyway when she visited the Princess. Azula had found it rather adorable that a fierce fighter like Sen behaved like an awkward school girl whenever she visited her.
"W-Well, Ty Lee, Suki and Katara may have had a hand in it," Sen said, smiling with embarrassment. "They've come around a little. Just a little, though. They wanted to help. I think they like the idea."
"I thought you didn't like to wear it."
"Well, I don't," Sen answered, timidly. "I just...wanted to look nice for you."
The comment went by appreciated. Something about how genuine it seemed had been better than most sycophants who spoke to Azula time and time again. "Hm. Well, it's always proper to dress appropriately in the presence of royalty," Azula agreed.
Sen smiled. "Of course."
After finishing some of the food, Azula pressed Sen to talk about what she'd been doing in the outside world and how "Zuzu" was behaving as the Fire Lord. Most of the stories weren't nearly as interesting as Azula had thought they'd be, but it was nice to engage in intelligent conversation for a change.
While Sen was talking, Azula eventually had a question and interrupted her.
"Sen. There's something I was meaning to ask you for some time now."
Sen blinked, startled. "What is it?"
"I know what I am and I know many flocked to my feet always," Azula continued, airily. "But you? You had feelings for me without acting on them. From the first time you met me. You feel...differently." She squinted at her, thoughtful. Despite the dark rings around her eyes, somehow she looked like her old cool, calculating self again. "What was it?"
Sen shrugged her shoulders before smiling, cheeks darkening. "I don't know exactly, really." she admitted, "I admired your spirit, perhaps. You weren't afraid to be anything you wanted to be. I admired that."
Azula smirked now, leaning back in her seat a bit. "Of course you did."
Sen laughed quietly, albeit shyly.
"Sen, I must apologize," one of the doctors spoke now, hesitantly, "But your time is up."
Sen exhaled impatiently, but nodded in agreement. Well, she wasn't given much time and from the looks of Azula's annoyed expression, it bothered her as well. Still, she gave a dramatic chuckle and rolled her eyes.
"Carry on, Sen. Rules are rules in the nuthouse." she told her.
"Yes, I suppose." Sen stood up now. "It's never enough time."
Azula nodded. "Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow?"
Sen smiled. "Always."
She stood up and gave Azula a respectful bow and started to go, but Azula's voice halted her.
"I'll be counting the seconds." she said.
Sen grinned and nodded.
"Of course, princess."
When she left the island, she began to recall how the end of the war changed things - including herself. For one thing, she no longer felt shame about her appearance, she also no longer bent flame into a dark violet color.
Her aura - and her fire - was red and as vibrant and passionate as the sun.