Mortal Sin
Chapter 10: Lust
Those that are found guilty of the sin of lust are punished in the second circle of hell. In this circle, their bodies are tossed in a violent never-ending maelstrom. Reflecting their lust-driven actions in life, constantly bouncing around. One couple that is cast in this circle of hell are Francesca and Paolo, who are having an affair behind Paolo's brother's back, after Francesca was tricked into marrying the vile man. They are discovered, and killed. Their discovery is depicted a painting, Gianciotto découvre Paolo et Francesca. Or at least, that's what they teach at the Art History course in Garden.
Squall was somewhere halfway between desire and anger. After the disposal of Zell, he desperately desired Rinoa's body. Hyne had told him that she was the path to forgiveness for his sin. But he was still furious at her for her deceit. He didn't care all that much if she was taking drugs. Just—nothing from that snake, Odine. He strongly suspected she was taking other pills, but it didn't matter to him, it made her more pliant. She could smash up a pill and snort it up her nose with a rolled up gil-note in front of him and he wouldn't bat an eyelash.
He was just furious that she had lied. To him. Her Knight. She belonged to him. She was supposed to tell him everything. Hyne gave her to him. What else was she hiding?
He was…unhinged. To say the least.
Slamming the door open to his rooms, he found her sprawled out on the couch, a half-drunk bottle of white wine on the floor, and a vial of headache medicine knocked over. She awoke when he entered and smiled up at him, eyes unfocused, reaching out to him.
He cast her a nod, but did not go to her. She would have to come to him, on hands and knees, asking for forgiveness. Oh yeah. He was still pissed. But he also really, really needed her.
Instead he entered the kitchenette and leaned casually against the counter. Waiting for her. He knew she would come. Like a moth to the flame. Just like he always came back to her. They were irrevocably intertwined. Forever.
Slowly rising from the couch, she waltzed over to him with more grace than he would have thought possible, considering how intoxicated she likely was. She stumbled slightly on the coffee table and let out a cute giggle that managed to elicit a very small smile from the Commander.
Rinoa ran her hands through his chestnut hair before leaning in and smashing her lips to his. She tasted like wine and ash, and smelled of cigarettes mixed with her perfume. She wasn't normally a smoker. He probably didn't smell much better. He hadn't bothered to shower after coming back from the Sorceress Memorial. Sweat, tobacco, rain water. Blood.
He didn't bother hiding what he had done from Rinoa. Not like before—it's not as if he would expressly tell her—but he wouldn't hide the truth if she asked. It was because of her that this started in the first place. And its not like she could stop him. She could barely walk in a straight line most of the time anymore, and her magic was all but non-existent. As long as she kept giving herself to him he was content. And if she ever stopped giving—he would take. Hyne gave her to him. His. All his.
Squall returned the kiss for a few seconds before pushing on Rinoa's shoulders. Pushing her down on her knees before him. Where she belonged. Where they all belonged. She could pleasure him. Beg for forgiveness. Her lips would absolve him of his sins.
"Fuck…" Squall grunted, his fingers tangling in Rinoa's hair. He forcefully guided her head into the rhythm he craved. His other arm supported his weight, leaning back on the kitchen counter.
As her mouth moved and her tongue swirled, he felt light. His sins were fading. When she added her hand and her ministrations increased in speed, his head swam. Heat flashed over his face and he clenched his fist tighter into her hair. Pulled her close. He needed what only she could give.
She was like a woman possessed. Almost frantic as she moved her hand and lips in tandem. He kept a mighty grip on the top of her head, ensuring she could not stop until he was satisfied. And he knew, deep down, she preferred it that way. Squall threw his head back and moaned. The euphoric tingle in the pit of his stomach was expanding.
Rinoa hummed knowingly as she let her hand drop and took him completely in her throat. Braced her hands against his thighs.
He was close, and she'd receive his sin. For she was the cause—and the way to absolution.
A groan, a shudder, and he exploded. "Fuck…"
It was the only thing he said to her the whole night.
She smiled up at him, but he did not return the gesture. Instead he pulled his pants back up and walked to their bedroom, crawling into the bed with his back to her, quickly falling asleep.
He left Rinoa, alone, on her knees in the kitchen, tears streaming quietly down her face.
It had been over two weeks since that day. Two weeks since Zell had left for his "mission". Two weeks since Squall had been inside her. Sure, he had been in other places on her plenty. Almost everywhere. His office, a stairwell, even the Training Center. Her knees were starting to ache, but she was desperate. It was as if she was paying for her forgiveness. Rinoa had even tested the waters and took a pill in front of him. He hadn't cared.
At least the pills made it easier on her knees.
Still, she slept on the couch. Squall hadn't explicitly banned her from their bed, but she felt unwelcome.
Strangely, despite the two weeks of pleasuring him, begging him for attention, and sleeping on the couch, Rinoa felt more alive than she had felt in months. She was acutely aware of her magic, buzzing pleasantly beneath her skin. She had successfully cast an extremely powerful flare spell in the Training Center, downing a T-Rexaur in one shot. She didn't think she had done anything like that in nearly a year.
Quistis noticed as well. She had paid her a surprise visit and the two of them spent an afternoon together. Quistis seemed happier than she had seen her in a long time. At peace.
They sat in the quad, enjoying a picnic and catching up.
"So…" The mischief in Rinoa's eyes immediately made Quistis a little nervous about whatever was going to follow. "I can tell when you're in a good mood Quistis, and you've got a huge hickey on your neck. Who's the lucky guy?"
Quistis blushed and looked down at her sandwich. "Um…"
"Seifer? Definitely has to be him, am I right?"
A small smirk crossed the blonde's face before she could cover it up and she nodded slightly.
Rinoa pressed a finger to her lips and tapped at them slightly. "But…see, a certain other blonde may have confessed that he was sleeping with you as well. It couldn't be him, because he's been gone for two weeks. And, I could have sworn he was mostly into guys. A very certain guy that gave you that hickey."
Quistis met the other woman's eyes. Leave it to Zell to spill the beans. Of course he blabbed to Rinoa that he was sleeping with both of them. Rinoa was his best friend. He knew Rinoa would never gossip and she was the only person Zell would confide in. Likely not even Squall knew. Rinoa could keep a secret. Of that Quistis was certain. What she didn't know is to what extent Rinoa knew the terms of their relationship.
Quistis was madly in love with both of them. How it was possible, she wasn't sure. Zell was the grounding force of joy that kept her feet on solid ground, gave her purpose, made her feel like she could do anything. Seifer was…her passion. Her challenge. He pushed her. In a good way.
He saved her from herself.
"Do…do they know about each other?" There was no scolding tone in Rinoa's voice. No criticism. No anger.
Quistis nodded mutely, a blush creeping across her face as she thought about just how well they all knew. "We're…like a triangle."
Rinoa's voice dropped to barely a whisper. "…at the same time? All three of you?"
Truth be told, she was empty if it wasn't all three of them. It was as if a limb was missing. She ached for Zell to get back so they could get out of the poison that she had come to believe Garden was. To start fresh. Did that make her selfish? Zell and Seifer were perfectly happy, as far as she knew, before she barged her way in and slowly eased herself into the relationship until she was just as much a part of it as the two of them.
Would Rinoa judge her for that? No, not Rinoa. Rinoa was always understanding of everyone. To a fault.
"Wait…" An impish look crossed Rinoa's face. "But, who does what? I mean…goes where." She bit her lip. "No wait, I don't want to know."
Quistis buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.
"No…no, I do want to know. No, wait, I don't. Or do I?"
"You know I won't tell you that, Rinoa…"
The sorceress crossed her arms in a huff. "Okay, fine. At least tell me who's bigger. I know Seifer has got it going on, but Zell…"
"Zell." Quistis answered without hesitation.
"Really?"
Qustsis did a few motions with her hands as Rinoa's eyes widened. "It should be in a museum."
Both women burst into hysterics, and Quistis marveled at the fact that she hadn't heard Rinoa laugh like that in almost eight months. Something had shifted and it almost felt like she had her old friend back.
Almost.
They remained in quiet solitude for a few minutes after their laughter subsided. Finally, Quistis spoke. If anyone could understand what was going on and give loving advice, it was Rinoa. "Hey Rinoa…do you think its possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Am I crazy?"
A small smile spread over Rinoa's face. "I'm hardly the person to ask about being crazy. But…I get it, Quisty. I really do. They're both hunks, Zell is basically the best person in the world. So, why not? Love is love."
Quistis grinned. "That's what Zell says."
There was another moment of silence, this time Rinoa broached it with a very quiet voice, mirroring Quistis' previous question. "Hey Quistis…do you think its possible to both love and hate someone at the same time?"
"Rinoa…"
The question went unanswered, Selphie appeared, barreling toward them excitedly. "Quisty! Rinny!"
Quistis hesitated and clearly wanted to say something, but her phone pinged. She quickly scanned the screen before gathering her belongings. "I've gotta go, Rin. We…can we have lunch next week again?"
"I'd really like that." Rinoa answered honestly.
Quistis stood, giving a brief wave to Selphie and Rinoa before taking her leave.
When she emerged into Garden's atrium, Seifer was waiting for her, a bright smile on his face and his unsheathed gunblade slung across his shoulder. She hadn't seen him this happy after a duel with Squall in almost six months. His grin widened as she came closer and he dropped Hyperion to the ground and opened his arms out to her.
Was he really going to do this here? In the middle of Garden? He'd never made any of their relationship public before. Even though she had secretly been desiring this exact moment.
Her quick steps turned into a jog as she ran into his waiting arms, throwing her arms around his neck. He lifted her easily, holding her off the ground to account for their height difference, and spun her around a few times. He was clearly in a good mood. Setting her down carefully, he leaned down and gave her a deep kiss. She knew people could see, and she was thrilled. He smelled musky, a sheen of sweat on his brow from his workout, a familiar look she was used to from him, but in far different circumstances.
After what felt like an eternity, he pulled back. Hoisting his gunblade back on his shoulder, he offered his free hand to her and she gladly accepted. Almost shyly.
"You're in a good mood." She felt deliriously happy, and she felt almost foolish for feeling that way.
"I beat Commander DickEater." Seifer shot her a toothy grin that almost reminded her of Zell. Not his usual cocky smirk, but a grin of genuine happiness. "He tried to cast firaga and it barely managed to singe me." Seifer boasted proudly.
"Mmmm…so, you're saying you want to celebrate?"
Releasing her hand, Seifer reached down and gave her bottom a squeeze. "Yup. All night, baby. Though, Commander AssFace told me Chickie is still on mission. But I think we can still make a good night of it."
Quistis smiled widely. She always felt a little jealous of Zell and Seifer, but she finally realized that Seifer was just as happy with both of them. That they were a unit, and as long as they were all together, everything would be okay. "I think we can make a great night of it. And you know? I think I figured it all out. Especially when Zell gets back."
"Good." Seifer grabbed Quistis' hand again and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "So…did you get a chance to talk to Rin?
Blue eyes narrowed as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. He was already in a bad enough mood and this only made it worse.
He lost to that bastard Seifer in a mistake that shouldn't have happened. Not only was he not as strong as he had been in their previous encounters, but he couldn't even muster a basic fire spell. It didn't make any sense.
Until it did.
And the reason for his lack of power was sitting in the quad, talking to Selphie. Apparently, to draw magic from Rinoa, he needed to sleep with her. Her servicing him wasn't enough for a power transfer. It was that stupid chi business Zell was going on about. Feng Zheng. As he saw her excited talking, he was torn. He hadn't seen her this happy and energized in months. But, he also needed her power.
It was him or her. She would have to give him what he needed.
Squall flinched as he noticed Selphie reach up and grab Rinoa's necklace, pointing out the extra ring he had placed there months prior. Selphie was eying the inscription.
Selphie's voice drifted and he could pick up bits of their conversation.
"…R.L., I will love you forever…R.L.? Like, for Rinoa Leonhart?"
"…I guess so. I never knew it was…"
"…did you guys…oh my Hyne…married?"
"…not yet, but…"
Squall clenched his fist and glared at the unsuspecting brunette in the yellow dress. Something needed to change. And fast.
Flutters of white. At first it was merely a speckle, the green of the grass still peeking through, but as Squall continued to journey forward, it coated everything, and his boots sank into the soft snow.
It was nearly up to his ankles as he trudged on. He could see the outline of smoke in the distance, and picture an inviting fire, a log cabin.
She was there, he was sure of it. Waiting for him. She always came to him when he called her in his dreams. If he could only get to the cabin, he could reunite with her, draw from her, feel her magic once again.
The snow was now blasting into his face with a gusty wind that he felt in his bones. Teeth chattering, he looked down and realized his boots were gone, and the snow was up to his knees. He couldn't make it anymore. He failed.
Rinoa…
Squall shot up in his sleep, shivering, as if he was still in the snow hills of Trabia. Glancing down at his side, he noticed Rinoa's absence. It shouldn't have surprised him, she hadn't slept next to him since the "incident", and he had made no moves to invite her back into their bed.
The dream had to be a message from Hyne. Staring down at his hands, Squall noticed the lack of magic. He realized that he had not been with Rinoa in life or in his dreams in over two weeks. Was Hyne telling him to go back to her? He needed her. But he also didn't want to hurt her anymore.
He stood on shaky legs and flipped on the bedside table lamp, rubbing sleep from his eyes. There was a slight smell in the room. A familiar one. The smell of the sky before it snows. Glancing down at the floor, he noticed a trail of snowflakes going from his bed into the living room. He followed them exactly, even though he knew where they would lead him.
Rinoa lay sleeping on the couch. He sank to his knees next to her. Mimicking the position she had been in so many times over the last few weeks. Burying his face in her hair, he inhaled deeply before whispering in her ear. "Rin. Wake up."
She murmured something incoherent, but blearily opened her eyes. "Squall…?"
"Shhh…" He hushed her, pushing the hair from her face. "I'm sorry. Come to bed. I'm so sorry." Squall stood and lifted her effortlessly, cradling her to his body. He peppered the top of her head with kisses as he carried her back to their room, whispering apologies the whole way.
"I'm sorry too…" She answered softly, reaching up to curl her arms around his neck.
That night, he lost himself within her once again. Gently. In a gentleness he hadn't displayed in nearly six months. Bodies twined together, kisses stolen in the dark, promises, vows, and whispered words of love.
The next morning, he could feel Hyne's power humming beneath his skin, and Rinoa slept on, her body littered with bruises.
A/N: Many, MANY thanks to my amazing beta Bebedora. This story has been struggling for me, given everything going on and how dark it is, but she kicked my butt and we are back on track!
Gianciotto découvre Paolo et Francesca. is a painting by Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres. There are actually seven versions of the painting, the most famous being at the Musee Bonnat in Bayonne, France. The couple was a real couple in medieval Italy, Dante used the couple as an example in his canta Inferno