This will be a small chapter. Hope you like and enjoy it!
Throughout the night Liv was whimpering. I couldn't, wouldn't sleep, my brain just wouldn't slow down for a moment. I almost made the mistake of leaving here alone when I remembered she said that being alone was frightening for her.
I was afraid
Afraid that I would hurt by bumping into her in my sleep or have one of my nightmares. Who can come back from what she has been put thru and want to be near anyone? I understood PTSD, I went thru/have it myself but having your dignity, pride, power, and image ripped away, having to look death in the eye just for being near someone is just gruesome. Olivia Pope is an incredibly intelligent, beautiful, sometimes scary woman.
I am the one who is afraid to touch her, can't even look her in the eye, afraid that someone will take her from this earth for good because I love her.
"Fitz! Fitz, where are you?"
I run back to the bed and kneel by her side, "Liv I'm right here. Shh it's okay, your safe and with me."
"Please don't leave me like that again, I know I'm asking a lot.."
"You are not asking a lot and not more then I am willing to give. I'm sorry I left it won't happen again."
"Why are you crying?"
I didn't even notice I was crying again until she brought it up, "Gerald get in the bed with me."
"Liv don't hurt yourself trying to move around too much."
"Nothing more can hurt at this moment then seeing you hurting. We are friends, and lovers, when you hurt, I hurt. I know you haven't been taking care of yourself. We never have crossed a line, did we flirt, yes but we stopped every time. I wanted to run and never look back and that's what I did that night after what happened in your office, I ran. While I was swimming, I just kept playing over and over in my head they way you look at me. I didn't want a married man falling in love with me let alone the very married president, but you did, and I fell right back. Whoever did this to me is a coward and one unlucky son of a bitch when WE find them. Those two men are going off their own agenda, greed, what they believe. They did not care that I am human, not an animal, all they see is a black woman who thinks she smart trying to taint the good white mans name, that I'm just used for your fun or trying to get myself ahead but they don't know a damn thing about me. They will not take away my opportunity to work in the white house for two terms, marry the man I love, have babies, run my business, and die old and happy. We will not let them win; I will not let them win. Tell me now if this is too much because I want blood Fitzgerald. Don't be sorry for what has happened but be sorry if nothing happens. You can't be sorry for me; I will break and I need you there with me. We will have our time to mourn but now we fight."
"I hear. I love you. But I am afraid of hurting you more than I already have. They tried to kill you and we didn't even do anything, for heaven's sake I saw you the first time tonight. When Harrison called me asking if I have seen you, I died. Every day I fought but the fire in me started to die but I held on to the hope of you and your love. I believe when you say fight now cry later
"Know that I want you to hold me but…"
"I understand."
"No, they took this from us and I want..."
"Like I said I understand. We are a team; let's try to rest if sleep won't come to us because tomorrow we are going for blood.