J

We spend the next three days talking on the phone, texting, and taking long walks along the snowy trails on the back of Snare. I find riding a horse with Lisa sitting right behind me, holding me in her arms, is quite possibly the greatest experience I've ever had.

Between spending time with my family and her making an effort to be there with her sister, we don't find any more time to spend in the back of Alice.

"Maybe something came up?" Zach looks at his watch as he and my mom wait with me at the bottom of the stairs to ZIP's private jet.

I'm leaving today. California then … the world. It should be the best day of my life. But instead, I'm dying inside because I'm leaving Lisa. What's worse—she's not here to say goodbye. She said she'd be here. She's twenty minutes late.

"Sometimes goodbyes are too hard." Juni strokes my hair below my white beanie as I keep my eyes glued to the entrance of the small airport. "You can FaceTime her from your dad's house."

Tears fill my eyes. I don't want to FaceTime her. I want her arms. I want her lips.

Fuck … I just want her.

"What if she got into an accident? I know she wouldn't miss this. I just know. Something's happened. I can't leave until—"

Zach points to the blue van stopped at the security entrance. "I'll call down to have them let her in."

I drop my purse and take off running like I did on Christmas night. Alice speeds toward me. Lisa stops at the barricade, jumps out, and runs toward me.

"Where were you?" I squeeze my eyes shut, letting the emotions flow down my face as she hugs me, lifting me off the ground.

"I'm so sorry," she says out of breath. "Alice wouldn't start. I was so fucking scared that you were going to be gone." Lisa sets my feet back on the ground. She cradles my face, rubbing her thumbs over my tear-drenched cheeks before kissing the rest away, ending with a slow, miserable, my-heart-is-breaking kiss.

"I love you," I whisper when her lips release mine.

She rests her forehead on mine. "I love you too. Forever."

"Jesus …" I blink more tears. "This hurts. I already miss you. It's already impossible to breathe. How am I supposed to get on that plane?"

"Show me the world, baby. Live like I'm there with you."

I grip her jacket and press my lips to hers like she did our last night together—unmoving. Time … please just stop. Just give me this moment with her forever. "You make me want to stay," I whisper past the lump in my throat.

Lisa kisses every inch of my face before letting her lips find the center of my forehead. "You make me want to go," she whispers in return.

"Jennie and Lisa," I say on a painful sigh.

She hugs me to her chest, resting her hand on my head, holding me like I'm her world. "Jennie and Lisa," she softly echoes me.

I ease back. She holds my hand, slowly letting go until it's just the tips of our fingers clinging to the final second.

"I love you," I mouth.

Lisa's eyes fill with tears and her jaw clenches, trying so hard to hold it together. She starts to speak, but she chokes, shaking her head. She holds her fisted hand to her mouth. If she blinks, she'll cry. If she speaks, she'll sob. If she does either one, I'll never get on that plane.

Forcing myself to turn, I walk back to the plane.

"Call me when you get there." Mom gives me a final hug and so does Zach.

I climb the stairs to the jet and stop at the top. Alice's brake lights shine red in the distance. She turns right and disappears.

"Okay, world…" I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes "…show me whatcha got."