A/N - Heavy dialogue edits to Chpt 1 10/28/20

JASON

As the storm raged on, Jason felt like a god.

It was like the culmination of the bad weather that had been following them since they embarked, the dark clouds and distant thunder finally coming to a head. To anyone else, it might read as a bad omen, a sign that they'd made the wrong choice. But Jason didn't feel wrong, he felt powerful. He felt so confident that when Frank insisted they land and wait it out, he refused.

Ah, Frank.

Jason had racked his brain trying to figure out why he acted the way he did with Leo. All he knew was that it seemed rational at the time. Key word- "seemed", because Jason couldn't come up with any actual reasons to justify his behavior, or his decision to leave his best friend behind. All he could do was tell himself that Leo was wrong, that he made the selfish choice, but they'd eventually see each other again. Even so, their separation tore him up so bad he tried to find anything to stem the flow of guilt.

That thing was Frank.

Sure, Frank didn't have the comedic timing. He didn't have the laid back attitude, or the inside jokes, or the potty humor. But he was smart. He understood Jason's life at Camp Jupiter, what it meant to be Roman, and Jason already knew how brave and fearless he could be.

Could he replace Leo? No. But Jason could have more than one best friend, and Frank was definitely on his way there.

Twenty feet below, Frank was battling the wind as the biggest bird Jason had ever seen. A condor, he guessed, clutching a rope in his claws that was tied around Festus's torso and wings- in an effort to help the dragon maintain his altitude and pull through the turbulence.

BOOM! A gong of thunder.

They had just flown east over Techniti Limni Pournariou- kind of a mouthful, but that's what Festus's GPS said the lake was called- and were attempting to pass over another mountain range.

Piper held tight, secured by a seatbelt in Festus's saddle, which expanded into a flat area big enough for the three of them to lounge if they wanted.

Jason wrestled with the roaring gusts, trying to keep them away from their flying metal friend. It felt like dodging punches, and throwing them back- a petulant storm like none he'd been in before. But he neither sensed or saw any wind spirits. Any monster-like interference.

More thunder sounded, and lightning flashed in the swirling clouds- a wind storm with no rain. Jason felt like a kid in a playground.

He lassoed a burst of air that was shooting straight at Piper, and redirected it downward, where it toppled a row of trees.

Piper gaped at the damage, and yelled upward just loud enough for Jason to hear. "Get down here!"

Jason only barely made out her words, and didn't feel any compulsion to follow them. What was a little wind gonna do? If anything, Jason could use it to help them travel faster.

He sensed another gale heading toward Piper and Festus, almost like the storm was taking aim. He formed what felt like a wave of air, and redirected the attack, sending it down to the mountain.

It took down trees and plant-life as if it were a landslide, and Jason delighted in the destruction a wave of his hand could do. He hadn't felt this powerful in a long time. Especially since the House of Hades, where he'd given up his praetorship- at least where he had accepted its loss.

What a stupid move. No wonder he'd had self-esteem issues. Since the start of the quest he'd given up his leadership. His home. His identity. Choosing to fade into the background while stuck between sides, not knowing where he really belonged. Now it felt like he was finally awake.

He closed his eyes, and reached out to the air around him, sensing the patterns and temperatures. It was working against them, coming from the east like it was being pushed and shoved into their path.

He still didn't sense any monsters, any wind spirits, but Jason would accept the challenge all the same.

Through the deafening flurries, a female voice seemed to shout in the distance, sounding far away, but close to him at the same time, saying: aim from below.

Jason looked down, expecting to see Piper yelling at him again, and saw a wave of air surging up from under Festus- about to knock the dragon off balance, and send him crashing into the mountainside. It looked like air flow from a downdraft, only he couldn't see the source. All around them were microbursts, air pockets, gusts, and other phenomena that seemed to defy the laws of physics. Either Jason was rusty, or this storm just didn't make sense.

He debated rescuing Piper, and letting Festus fall.

But was he really going to let some bad weather overpower him? Throw him off course? Permanently wreck his best friend's creation and their only ride? Jason could make hurricanes. Cyclones. He could pull all the electricity from the air, and destroy any target in one fatal, fiery strike.

A little turbulence wasn't going to get the better of him.

He redirected the incoming gale, forcing it to go around Festus, Piper, and Frank- stirring it, like he would to make a tornado, and then he blasted it right at Festus's backside.

The air caught under the dragon's wings, launching him forward at breakneck speed, and hopefully out of the Twilight Zone-like tempest they'd been stuck in.

Jason was impressed for a moment. Proud, too. Really, he should have done this earlier.

He propelled himself forward to catch up, and saw Piper huddled on the floor of the saddle, hair whipping around wildly, and hands on her ears. His first thought was to tease her about it, until the ropes around Festus snapped. Frank, still a bird, was pulled under the dragon's body, with his wings ensnared and tangled. Before Jason could blink, Frank was plummeting to the ground.

Jason dove after him, watching as Frank formed back into a demigod, panicking too much to morph again, while trying to wrestle free.

Jason got close enough to put his arms around him, but not soon enough that they could avoid the towering trees. They crashed through branches and leaves, getting cut and beat up by the wood, before finally landing in the dirt and bushes.

Jason slowly sat up, feeling the sting of new scratches, and an ache in his back. "You okay, man?"

Frank untangled the remaining rope, and brushed it off. Above them, Festus had brake-checked himself, and was now hovering in place, appearing unbothered. For now. "What the hell was that?"

"Uhh. Me. Sorry."

Frank pushed himself off the ground, but his face turned frantic when he checked his belt. "My firewood."

He patted his pockets, then dug in the dirt, practically distraught. He seemed to think he was going to burst into flames at any second if they didn't find it. Jason helped, checking under leaves and in bushes, but he didn't see that weird little pouch, before hearing a scream from above.

Piper was hanging over the side of Festus, who was struggling to balance himself, rocking back and forth. They weren't free of the winds just yet.

Her fingers slipped, and she let go, tumbling through the air.

Jason's heart skipped a beat, and he acted on impulse- pulling air from all around him, then launching it upward in one swift motion. She was lifted high enough to grab a hold of Festus again, and Jason took off, ready to catch her if she slipped.

She was saying something as he approached, sounding angry and practically growling, and Jason wasn't sure if it was directed at him. The wind continued to fling Piper around, like it had some sort of vendetta against her.

"Get away from me! If you know what's good for you, you'll stop!"

Jason felt repelled, and sunk downward- but at the same time the wind died completely, like someone had flipped a switch.

Piper got herself safely aboard, and Jason flew back for Frank, still feeling the lingering effects of the charmspeak.

Frank was brushing off his firewood pouch when he landed, and Jason was a little peeved he'd helped look for it instead of paying attention to Piper. Especially since Frank seemed perfectly fine.

"Maybe we should just bury it somewhere, so you don't have to worry about it," Jason said.

"I can't, I...need it."

"What's better, keeping it on your hip where it'll distract you, or putting it in the ground where no one can touch it?"

"I don't know what'll happen if I do that."

Jason took the bag from Frank, hardly believing something so small could be such a big problem. He rubbed his fingers over what couldn't be more than a two inch stub under the velvety fabric.

"If this is supposed to be your weakness, maybe part of the curse is thinking you can't let it go."

Frank looked grim, and gently took it back, before securing it tightly onto his belt.

"I'll be careful. I won't lose it again."

Jason didn't smile, but accepted it.

Together they brushed themselves off, and flew back up to Festus, who'd stabilized.

"I told you I sensed something," Piper said in a huff, smoothing out her hair. Jason's heart still pounded from seeing her fall.

"I didn't know you were such an expert on storms."

"Well, now that I can charmspeak the wind…"

Jason couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. Had she really just learned how to do that?

"Oh please, I did that."

"You charmspoke?"

"I saved you."

Piper looked like she was about to object, but didn't. "You're just mad I beat you."

"Beat me?"

"At your own game," Piper got up, and put one leg over the side of the saddle, looking at him with a weird curiosity, like they were playing a game. "You think I can fly too, if I wanted?"

Jason raised his hands in a surrender. "Hey, hey, hey, alright- you beat me."

Piper smiled, and the way she looked at him dissolved all his worries.

"I'm just teasing," She smirked.

Jason noticed Frank eyeing them, and felt a little embarrassed. Luckily Frank changed the subject before he could.

"That was kind of amazing- the way you caught her like that. I don't think I've seen you in action that close before."

"In action?"

"Like...in the stories I heard at camp."

Stories?

"They tell stories about me?"

"You mean like how you killed the Trojan sea monster, took down the throne of Kronos, and killed Krios? Yeah, that kinda still goes around."

Jason couldn't help but feel good about his reputation. He didn't like to admit it, but being overshadowed never sat right with him. Not so much at Camp Half-Blood- but on their current quest? He recognized that being surrounded by equals meant that everyone was pulling their own weight, that he should be glad about that. But it felt satisfying to be almost...special, again.

Piper gave him a look of encouragement, or maybe she was teasing again by pretending to be impressed. "I think I'll take a nap, and let Jason brag- I mean, let you guys talk. That is, if our weatherboy thinks it's safe."

Jason gave her a look- ha, ha. But the air had suddenly calmed, the violent winds going away immediately after Piper told them too.

She stood up, putting a hand on his shoulder to move toward the back of the saddle. Her touch was icy, sending shivers down Jason's spine, but he didn't think to wonder about that because the same moment a question popped into his mind and out of his mouth-

"If they're so enamored, why didn't they look for me?"

It was a question he'd asked himself before. Too many times. No one but him knew how much it rested in the back of his mind, even after all these months.

For some reason he thought of Reyna. Wouldn't she have cared? Why didn't he ask her about it when he finally returned to camp?

Frank seemed uncomfortable, and became very interested in the view around them. "Yeah, well...you know what they're like back there. Besides, Hazel said they didn't know where to start."

Jason regretted saying anything.

"You're right. That was smart. That was...logical."

Reyna was a good leader. She wouldn't waste resources on one demigod, with no information to go off of.

But still...something told him she would have. If not for something- something that happened between them.

He dug deeper into his brain, trying to find it, feeling like his memories were being blocked off again. But this time instead of an empty space with nothing and no idea what to search for, he felt a barrier. Like a wall. Or a door.

Did he lock these away himself? Or was the last of Juno's spell finally wearing off?

"For what it's worth," Frank said. "People really did want you back."

"Really?"

"Really. You were one of the best praetors they had, a perfect soldier."

"...And?"

Jason expected to hear about how bad the fifth cohort, or any of the other kids at camp, missed him. Their friend. Maybe they couldn't afford to find him, but they were his family, weren't they? He was raised in that army. He fought with them, side by side, over and over again.

"And...you really helped the camp."

"Oh."

That was it? That was the lasting impression he made?

Jason found that door in his mind, surprised he was able to turn the knob, and a funny thought slipped through the cracks.

"What did Octavian think?"

"Octavian?"

He felt just as confused as Frank, why would Octavian care about anyone but himself?

...Why would Jason think he did?

"Um...I don't think I've ever really heard him mention you. Sometimes I think he avoided it, but I always thought he was just intimidated."

"I wonder if it made him happy that I left."

Jason pulled on the door, feeling a little resistance, like he was about to open the biggest can of worms the world had ever seen. Maybe happy wasn't the right word. Maybe it was relieved.

But why?

He kept pulling.

"Octavian's always happy when bad things happen to good people," Frank said.

Jason put both hands on the knob, using all his strength to pry it open-

He and Octavian had been fighting.

"He's happy when bad things happen to his opponents," Jason responded.

"So, basically anyone with a moral compass."

Jason got the door halfway open, and he could see all the pieces of his life that he didn't know were missing, until now.

Jason corrected him. "Anyone who keeps him from what he wants."

"Were you keeping something from him?"

The door swung open, and the entire mental barrier came crumbling down. What really happened with Reyna, and Octavian.

He didn't like what he saw.

"That's just how his mind works. He's always been like that- a pain in the ass."

Jason could remember everything- everything about his old life, and the people in it. But he couldn't blame it on Juno.

When all his memories started to come back to him, he chose to hide these away.

"Really? Always?"

"Not to me...he tried to be my friend, once. When he first got to camp. But only after finding out who my father was."

Frank found that amusing. "But you didn't let him."

"Actually...I wanted to see what he would do."

"How far did that go?"

Further than Jason would ever admit. Than Octavian would, either.

"The higher my rank rose, the more he kissed my ass. He was good at it, too. It's hard to make the 'golden boy' feel special. But one day…"

Jason sorted through his newfound memories, wondering if he should even be sharing these things with Frank, but the more he talked through them, the easier it was to put them back in order. The easier it was to parse through all the details yet to be put in their place.

"Reyna had joined the camp a couple years before, and she was the first person to really 'get' me. I don't know. We just clicked."

Jason glanced at Piper, wondering if they ever had that moment. Where everything snapped into place.

He pushed that thought away. All relationships were different, and he and Piper had already built something special.

He continued:

"I was becoming the obvious choice for praetor, and Reyna was up for a promotion too- especially after our quest to Charleston."

Frank leaned forward, probably glad to hear about dirt on Octavian. "I bet he didn't like that."

"Reyna taking praetor after he'd been trying to claw his way up there for years? Yeah, he didn't like that- and he didn't think I'd notice."

"You kept him on a short leash, so he couldn't surprise you."

"Not short enough. The day before Reyna was going to be nominated, Octavian tried to get rid of the competition."

"Let me guess, he used that loud mouth of his."

Jason felt his emotions stir, a familiar stew of anger. He tried to keep his fists from clenching up.

"What'd he do?" Frank asked. "Spread rumors? Get the camp to turn on her?"

The sting of electricity ran through him, and he hoped sparks wouldn't start flying from his fingertips and alarm Frank.

"He tried to kill her."

Somehow, Frank only looked mildly surprised.

"War games?"

What else had Octavian done after he left?

"How did you know?"

"He did something similar before my first quest. Stuck Gwen with a pilum."

Jason remembered seeing Gwen at camp, right before everything went to hell and he got conked on the head with a brick- so much for "welcome back, Jason!"`

"What would he want to kill Gwen for?"

"To see if he could. Remember, this was before we released Thanatos. Little turd must've known something was up."

"Like I said, pain in the ass."

"Wait, wait," Frank said. "If he tried to kill Reyna, why is he still at camp? Wasn't he punished?"

Jason started to realize the mistake of talking through his memories. He knew why Octavian was still around.

Because he hadn't told anyone.

It was the first of what Jason guessed to be many revelations about his true character. Maybe he'd always been kind, polite, and straight-laced- but he was starting to remember what had always brewed just under the surface.

Jason had made a deal with Octavian. He'd keep his mouth shut, and Octavian would accept Reyna as praetor- while being as loyal and obedient as possible.

Truth was, even if Jason did rat him out, he was so cunning that there was a sure chance he'd slither back into the camp's good graces.

Jason couldn't take that chance.

"There wasn't enough proof," Jason told him. "I'm guessing that's how he got away with stabbing Gwen?"

Frank nodded, and Jason tried to keep himself collected, hoping Frank wouldn't see right through him, as he adjusted the facts.

"Reyna had split from her team to infiltrate the fort with me, but neither of us saw Octavian behind the wall before it crumbled on top of her, and there wasn't any way to prove he'd made it come down. Except for the look he gave me."

Frank looked disgusted. "I didn't think I could hate him anymore, but this just…"

Jason nodded. "Yeah. Real piece of work."

Bits and pieces of memories, from that day and many more, flashed through his mind. Forming a complete portrait of his old self. Times when he felt rage bubble inside him, but pushed it down because it clashed with his "golden boy" image. His persona of a perfect soldier. His duty as a soldier.

What made him so angry that day, besides seeing Reyna- the person he loved most- get hurt, was that he knew Octavian's betrayal had been a long time in the making.

He didn't mention it to Frank, but under all of Octavian's snobbery and wickedness, was an actual human being.

In between all of Octavian's ass-kissing, they managed to form an odd relationship, both knowing they were manipulating each other, but...enjoying it anyway. Octavian liked not being under-estimated by Jason, that his talents weren't going unnoticed, and Jason liked that Octavian could see through his "nice guy" disguise.

Not that Jason wasn't a nice guy. He was. The issue had been times when Jason felt like being the furthest from "nice" he could ever be.

Like when he saw what Octavian did to Reyna.

He'd had a proud smirk on his face, as if Jason would be impressed. As if Jason would help cover it up.

Instead he threw Octavian across the room. Then again, and again. Sometimes using the air to make him hit the stone harder. Until he could hear bones crack. Until Octavian was pleading, crying, and vulnerable like he'd never been before.

Then, while Octavian was barely conscious, Jason told him exactly what he needed to do if he wanted to stay at camp. Or better yet, alive.

When the other cohorts started to show up, the conclusion was that a weak wall had fallen on both Reyna and Octavian, and no winner was declared. No awards given.

Whatever semblance of friendship they'd had was gone, and Octavian became more hateful and ruthless than ever before. But he kept his head down after that, harboring his resentment, not being able to act on it. Until Jason disappeared.

After he left, Reyna was lucky Octavian had settled for taking her position, instead of taking her life.

"Why didn't you talk to Reyna before we left?"

Frank's question came out of nowhere, pulling him from his thoughts, and catching him off guard. He'd sent Frank to tell Reyna about Percy.

"I told you. Because you just became praetor and-"

"I remember what you said. I mean the real reason."

The real reason? Like how the thought of speaking to her alone sent waves of agony through his brain? How the hot spike that inflamed at the sound of Leo's voice had done the same for her?

He couldn't think of an explanation for himself, let alone Frank. Some kind of stress response, maybe? All he knew was that it stopped right before Percy attacked, and then Piper got real moody- like he'd passed on whatever it was to her.

They'd all have grey hairs by the end of this.

"Truth is…" Jason lied. "Things have only been awkward between us since my last visit to Camp Jupiter. I don't really know how to communicate with her anymore, and I didn't want to make a bad situation worse."

Truth really was...things had gotten awkward before Jason disappeared, and Frank seemed to pick up on that.

"Were you and Reyna ever…?"

"What? No, no."

Yes.

Almost.

Jason glanced nervously at Piper, but her back was turned to him, and she appeared to be asleep.

"Oh, because I thought-" Frank started.

"No. It was...one-sided."

Another lie.

Jason wanted so bad to be close to her. He'd already opened up so much- about feelings and grudges no would guess he ever held. Especially about his childhood. She did the same, and they ended up knowing each other so well it had become intuitive.

But he had to end it, after what he did to Octavian.

The rage he felt, the impulse...it was the most he ever felt like his father. Dangerous. Powerful. Unstoppable.

Reyna was the first person he ever loved, and he loved her so much he didn't hesitate to maim Octavian. He might've even killed him, if he wasn't afraid someone would see.

It was unacceptable. It made him a liability, and it endangered his reputation. He couldn't worry about Reyna when they were in battle, and he certainly couldn't lose himself in a rage so completely that he dismissed the objective of a quest, or worse, a war.

"That had to really suck for both of you," Frank said. "But hey, you found Piper. Maybe Reyna will find someone too."

Jason paid special attention to the word "found". He didn't find Piper, Juno gave her to him.

He watched her sleep, feeling a new sort of gratitude. If this was who the goddess had set him up with, it had to mean something. It had to be special.

As much as he hated losing all his memories, as much pain and confusion as it caused him, he realized now it was a fresh start.

The anger that kept him from being with Reyna? The resentment and loneliness that simmered in his heart? It had all been wiped away.

New personality, new friends, new girlfriend- and the ability to keep it all without feeling guilty, without an unbreakable bond to the Roman army getting in the way.

Jason's heart almost stopped, as he realized something-

He had almost shed his old self. Almost.

But his behavior over the last few days? His decisions? His mindset? That was the real Jason, somehow triggered by...he didn't know. Maybe the House of Hades. Maybe stress. Maybe he just couldn't take Percy's death on top of everything else that had happened so far- as if his false identity was being chipped away at all this time.

Did he want to be the Golden Boy from Camp Jupiter? The one who felt resentment and self-pity at being on a team of equals? Of not always being the leader? The strongest?

Or did he want what Juno had turned him into? A milquetoast demigod, with no critical emotional baggage. No burning need to rise to the top, no painful desires, and no flaws to hold him back.

He couldn't tell which one he was anymore.

If he could choose, or if the world would choose for him.