NOTE: Rise'n'shine! We have officially switched from nocturnal to diurnal, and hit the middle of our story. I cannot tell a lie. I've been waiting to write this chapter for two weeks, just because it was fun to make up head canon every time reality got boring (which is very, very often). But I'm also kinda missing the hotness so I need to get 'em back together. Angst has been fun, but I need them back together soon. Don't change the channel, more to come.
DAY 1:
BANG BANG BANG!
My eyes shot open. I felt like I'd been sleeping the sleep of the dead but something ear-shattering had awakened me suddenly. BANG! BANG BANG!
As soon as my eyes were open, I looked around and was hit by complete and utter confusion. Where was I? I was looking up at a dirt ceiling with roots coming through, framed by bioluminescent lights. What was this? What had happened last night? And most of all, who in the hell was making that annoying sound?
It took me a second before the events of last night came rushing back to me. I turned my head and realized the banging sound was coming from the door. Someone was knocking insistently on the door. I remembered all at once; I'd fallen asleep at Magneto's place, and now someone who was evidently not a morning person had shown up, and sounded pissed. I saw steam floating from the open hallway I'd noticed earlier and a second later out strolled Erik, who had evidently been taking a shower, with his white hair plastered back against his head, a towel around his waist, and his jaw clenched in displeasure.
I sat up in bed just as he wrenched the door open, and looked out with undisguised annoyance.
There stood Scott, hand raised as if he were about to pound on the door again, on his face an expression of surprise.
There was a moment where the two men just stared at each other, Erik wet and half naked, Scott startled with his hand poised in the air in the midst of a phantom knock, each evidently as dumbstruck as the other.
"May I help you?" Magneto asked, emphasizing each syllable in a display of aggressive politeness.
"I uh... I... oh," Scott began. He cleared his throat, the puzzled expression plain as day on his face. "Is uh... is Jean there?"
"And if she were?" Erik asked with thinly disguised displeasure, standing unmoving in the doorway. The two men stood at almost the same height, but Magneto's presence was unmistakably intimidating and I could tell that Scott had not been prepared at all for who had opened that door. It was almost enough to make me smirk. All right, I was definitely smirking a little.
I got up from the bed, joints still stiff from sleep, and stood hovering behind Erik, who gave a quick glance back and then looked back to Scott, unsmiling.
"Hello Scott," I said. "Do you need something?"
"Jean!" Scott exclaimed, giving me the once over. He looked at Magneto in his towel, and then back at me in my wrinkled, disheveled uniform. His expression then turned to horror, as I realized I still bore the less-than attractive milk stains over my breasts. I couldn't have cared less. Let Scott think whatever he damn well wanted to. The worse the better, I thought spitefully.
"What...what the hell is going on here?" Scott demanded, his expression of shock almost comical.
"I'm sorry," I said, "Why are you here exactly Scott? And perhaps more importantly, how did you know I was here? Have you been tracking me?"
"I...well, yes...the tracking, the GPS tracking on your phone," Scott stammered, eyes darting back and forth between myself and Erik.
"Sounds to me as if you were stalking, at least that's what I would call it." Magneto asked coldly. "Did you have her permission to find her location?"
My feelings were usually quite ambivalent about Erik, but truly, I think for a moment I loved him dearly.
"Well- no," Scott admitted, caught off guard and now on the defensive. "No I wouldn't have done it except we're late, we're late and I needed to find her. We're going to be in trouble."
"Late for what?" I asked, annoyed.
"Mojo in the Morning, Jean!" He said, exasperated. "I told you yesterday, remember? Jesus, what has happened to you lately? You've always been this punctual, responsible woman and now.. now this? Whatever this is? What is this Jean?" Scott demanded again, face red. I was definitely enjoying this a little too much.
Erik took a step forward and Scott took a step back.
"I would think carefully before choosing your next words, Mr. Summers." Magneto drawled, a menacing smile slowly spreading across his face.
I didn't want to break up this comedy of errors, if anything because the look on my soon to be ex-husband's face was more priceless than gold. But despite that fact, Scott had a point. I did need to continue to make these exasperating media appearances to continue to fulfill my role in the contract and keep Echo safe until whatever grand plan Magneto had cooked up could be set into action.
"I'm sorry Scott," I said, breaking the silence and offering an olive branch. "I... there was a lot on my mind, and I did forget. But yes, give me just a moment, and I'll come with you so we can make the talk show. Agreed?"
I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't help myself. I turned towards Magento. "Erik, I'm going to shower as well,"
"Of course my dear, as you wish," he replied. Giving Scott a tight smile, he slammed the metal door in his face with a satisfying CLANG.
As soon as the door was shut, I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Magneto looked somewhat amused himself, and sighed.
"I never could stand his self-righteous prattle," Erik commented calmly, disappearing into back into the bathroom and returning in a robe. "It's all yours, Jean. There are fresh towels on the right."
Once I was slightly more presentable, and had actually gotten some sleep, I felt ready to face the media onslaught once again. I drove with Scott to our appearance, and was amused to find that he was completely silent the whole way there, staring straight ahead at the road. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. I thought about explaining the situation to ease the tension, but instead I opted to relax in my seat, watching the scenery fly by. Sometimes, silence really was golden.
As I sat on the cheap wooden set, playing Cyclops and Marvel girl, America's Sweethearts, holding his hand, smiling sweetly and staring lovingly into his eyes while the cameras rolled, I ground my teeth. I needed to get through this, get through it as quickly as possible in order to go find Logan. As I'd showered back at Erik's place, I'd come up with a plan, a way to tell Logan than hopefully wouldn't end in disaster. I decided that I needed him far away from anyone, or anything, when the truth came out. I needed a buffer zone. Not only would this guarantee privacy in our conversation, I would have time to stop him, if it came to that. I was hoping it wouldn't come to that, but I knew I would do whatever I had to do.
I'd needed to change into a clean costume once we arrived at the taping, and for some reason the only thing wardrobe had available was one of Storm's old uniforms, so I was stuck walking out in a tight black leather jumpsuit and cape that made no sense whatsoever. The audience still went wild, they didn't care as long as they had their mutant entertainment. We played it off as a joke, but I could tell this annoyed Scott a great deal, and to be honest it was incredibly uncomfortable to wear. I reminded myself to ask Storm how she managed to sit down, much less conjure lighting in this damn thing. I kept tugging at the sides, and it was giving me ridiculous cleavage. At least I seemed to have stopped producing more milk, which was one saving grace.
As we walked off the set together hand-in-hand, waving and smiling to the studio audience, Scott was quiet and I could tell he was brooding.
"Penny for your thoughts," I said casually as he dropped my hand and moved away from me.
He looked at me, brow furrowed, looked away, and then looked at me again, opening his mouth like he was about to say something and then shutting it.
"I guess not," I said with a smug smile, which he didn't return.
As soon as I was back to our complex on the moon, I ran to my room, changed into a fresh uniform. My heart was beating so fast I felt like it was going to burst. After all this fear, this burden of truth, hiding everything I was about to get it all back on course. And most importantly, I would finally be able to talk to Logan. My best friend, my confidant, and now the father of my child. My hands were shaking as I quickly brushed out my hair, splashed water onto my face, and unlocked the door between our rooms.
I opened it wide and said, "Logan I-" before stopping dead in my tracks.
The scene before me made me do a double, and then a triple take.
First of all, the room smelled like an open bar. The odor of alcohol was so strong it almost stung my eyes. Logan lay, passed out, face down, in boxers, in the middle of his bed. And on either side of him were two young women, one sleeping topless with tights on, the other wearing an untied bikini top and some sparkly hip hugging hot pants that left nothing to the imagination.
I stood and stared, my mouth open, eyes wide. Now, I am aware I have a temper, but I am not usually the type of person that loses my head, or flies off the handle, or yells unless it's warranted. Even when I'm angry I usually manage to keep it relatively together in the moment, even through difficult circumstances. But in this case, I was not that person. I lost my shit.
"WHAT IN THE FUCK?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Logan's head immediately lifted off the bedspread, a small string of saliva hanging from his mouth as he cracked one eye open just a little bit. "Jeannie?" he slurred, followed by, "Oh damn, my head. Ugh my goddamn head," he winced and held both hands to his forehead. One of the girls also stirred, opened her eyes, blinked, and looked confused. Then she looked at me, and her expression turned to terror.
"Hey- uh- are you-Marvel girl?" she asked haltingly, holding her hands up defensively. She looked young- maybe in her early twenties, and she looked terrified. Good. she should be.
"It's none of your goddamn business who I am," I said to her acidly. "But you have five seconds to get the hell out of here before I show you exactly who I am and what it is I can do."
I telekinetically picked up the clothes that I assumed belonged to her from the floor and flung them at her, knocking her back onto the bed with a startled cry.
"Woah- Jeannie, woah," Logan said, head still in his hands. "Calm the hell down Red, I've got one hell of a hangover right now."
"I'll deal with you later!" I yelled at Logan. The other girl had woken up, mascara leaving her with raccoon eyes, gave one quick glance towards the first girl and then back at me with fear in her eyes. She had gotten the message and was scrambling to get her shoes on.
"I am going to count to three, and if you aren't gone by then you'll all be leaving in a body bag," I yelled, and this certainly seemed to inspire haste. The two girls were falling over each other picking up clothes.
"Please don't hurt me!" The one who had just recently woken up started to cry, as she stumbled over her friend in a bid to get out the door as fast as possible. She was still topless. "I'm a fan!"
"Fake tits, Logan? Classy," I said, arms crossed, jaw set. He was sitting in the center of the bed, head in his hands, looking half annoyed, and half like death was about to take him. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen Logan that particular shade of green.
"Jesus Christ Jeannie, I can't take your crazy shit this early or this hungover," he groused, "Leave the poor girls alone. You got somethin' to say to me, say it."
That did it. If something in me had snapped before, it had gone to completely unhinged. The women had left, leaving one glittery stiletto and a black bra behind.
I grabbed Logan telekinetically and lifted him up.
"Oh, I have something to say to you all right, you piece of shit! You have NO IDEA what I've been through. You have NO IDEA what I have to say to you!" I yelled through tears.
"What the-" he managed, and then his words were choked off as I held him suspended in the air, by his neck.
"After EVERYTHING I did for you," I cried, as he stared at me, expression stunned. "You have no idea, you have NO IDEA!" I screamed. "All you had to do was not fuck up for ONE DAY Logan! One damn day! And this whole time I was- I was-"
I couldn't say it. It stuck in my throat. I couldn't say out loud what I was thinking, that I'd been caring for our baby, I'd been shouldering the blame, I'd been weathering the stress, I'd been trying to keep us all safe, but I couldn't tell him. Not yet.
Then, as Logan struggled against my telekinetic grasp, I saw more movement in the bed, and suddenly a long scaly body, purple head and blinking eyes appeared.
"Wha- Lockheed?" I said, so surprised that I accidentally dropped Logan, who fell back on the bed with an audible grunt and a string of curse words. He was immediately back on his feet, crouched in fighting stance, and he looked pissed. Well guess what, Wolverine, so I am I, I thought acidly.
I lifted up both my hands, gathering TK energy.
Logan's claws appeared as he growled at me, "I ain't gonna fight you Jeannie, but I'm warning you cut this shit out. Right. Now."
"Fuck you, and fuck your excuses," I spat back it, and lifted one hand...
Only to feel an icy cool presence slip quietly around my brain, wrapping it completely. It was like an icicle had just touched my soul, and I was rendered temporarily mute and paralyzed. I would know that frigid psychic signature anywhere. I lacked the ability to turn around, but I heard the voice come from behind me.
"If you could keep the fight to the death down a little, some of us are trying to get our beauty rest," Emma said dryly.
"Let go Emma," I hissed. "You know you're no match for me."
"I'm aware," Emma replied crossly, still inside my head. Her presence felt like telepathic Xanax; I could tell she was trying to calm me down. I couldn't think clearly, my movements were slow. "This may surprise you, but I'm not looking for a fight- none of us are- Logan, put your claws away you idiot, what are you going to do, slice up your little ginger dream girl?" She rolled her eyes at him and then turned back to me. "Listen, Jean, I'm trying to stop you from harming yourself or anyone else, and that's it. I think you're about to do something you might regret."
"What the hell is it your business?" I asked, finally whipping around to face her.
"I wish it wasn't," she replied. "But since Scott's beside himself mooning around all morning with the news of you and Magneto, I'd rather not have buckets of blood to clean up in here when I've already got quite a headache and it's not even noon."
"What do you mean her an' Magneto?" Logan asked in angry confusion. "What the hell is going on right now? Has everybody lost their goddamn mind?" Lockheed was crouched behind him, looking very much like he wished he hadn't ended up in this situation. I agreed with him on that.
"I have nothing to explain to you after... this," I yelled at Logan, and then turned back to Emma. "FINE. Fine Emma."
"Come with me," Emma said, for once her voice didn't carry any malevolence. She led me back into my own room and closed the door.
"Listen," she told me. I refused to look her in the eye. "I don't know what you're going through, darling. But it seems hard."
I turned and stared at her. Had she really just expressed...sympathy? Sympathy without judgement? Was this really Emma?
"You don't need to look at me that way, so surprised" Emma said rather crossly. "I'm not a complete demon Jean, really. I do in fact have emotions. I just happen to hide them well. And I don't hate you either, since that's what you believe."
"Stop prying in my head Emma," I replied curtly.
"Sorry, force of habit," she replied, waving it off. "Now, am I annoyed by you? Yes. Tired of hearing about you from Scott? Oh God yes. But I don't despise you Jean. I really don't."
"In that case, thank you," I said, quietly, staring down at my hands. As much as I hated to admit it, and I did hate to admit it- I hated it a lot, Emma was a hundred percent right. I didn't know what had gone on with Logan last night, although I certainly had a few educated guesses the worst of which included foursome with two college freshman and a dragon, but I was about to do something I regretted and what I had needed most was just to cool down.
There was a soft knock on the door.
I said "Go away, Scott," at the same time that Emma said, "Go away, Logan."
We glanced at each other and then at the door as it continued to open slowly,
"Uh, since I'm neither of those people is it okay if I come in?" Shadowkat asked, framed in the doorway. She took one look at our faces. "Wow. It looks like something's going on. Listen, I'm sorry, if this is a bad time I didn't meant to interrupt. I was just looking for Lockheed."
Emma and I glanced at each other again.
"Do come in," Emma said quickly, "And close the door behind you."
Kitty stepped in the room, an apprehensive look on her face, "Listen guys, whatever's going on, it sounds serious. Jean are you okay?" she asked, apparently looking at my tired, angry, tearstained face and concluding that this was not my best day.
"Not really," I responded honestly. "And Lockheed is next door, in Logan's room."
"Oh thank goodness," Kitty set, letting out a sigh of relief. "I thought I'd lost him after that crazy night."
"What crazy night?" Emma and I both asked at the same time. Kitty looked at us wide eyed.
"I mean- not that crazy. Not for X-Men. I mean, crazy like, partied a little too hard. Crazy like, Logan drank the tank," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Drank what? What are you talking about Kitty?" I asked.
"You guys want the whole story? Jeez, ok. So. Logan was a mess yesterday, and he wouldn't tell me why, although, you know, Jean maybe I should ask you why," Kitty responded, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Why is this somehow my fault?" I asked indignantly.
"Well I can't CONFIRM any of this... but, Logan came to me a while back, we had a quick drink on my ship. And he was happy. LOGAN WAS HAPPY," Kitty said, staring daggers at both of us. We both returned the gaze.
"And...?" Emma said, looking bored.
"Right then and there, I thought, oh lord, he's gotten himself into something with Jean. What else is going to make him act like this, from all growly and menacing to playing with children and smelling flowers and smiling? I know him too well. That's Jean right there. And I knew, I knew right then and there it was headed for disaster. And then, when he comes to me heart obviously crushed to smithereens but he won't tell me why, and I just knew it- there it is. There's the disaster. Right there," Kitty said, pointing to me.
"Now hold on for just one moment," Emma said angrily before I could react. "How dare you insinuate whatever... whatever happened was Jean's fault. You don't even know what's going on. Keep your innuendo to yourself."
Both Kitty and I seemed very startled by this. I almost couldn't believe my own ears. Emma, defending me? The world had in fact descended into madness. That or I had reached a whole new stage of pity in which I appeared to be such a trainwreck that even Emma Frost became protective of me. I hoped it wasn't the latter.
"All right," Kitty said, holding up both her hands, "All right, that's fair, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bash you out of nowhere Jean and I don't know what's going on because no one will tell me. But the point was, Logan was obviously heartbroken. By someone who will remain nameless. So I decided to take him out, try to make him feel better. So I took him to this bar I'd heard about, bar that's really popular,"
"You went to a bar?" Emma asked.
"It uh, it actually turned out to be a strip club," Kitty said, her face beginning to turn red. "Which, listen, that was not my fault, that was a Yelp failure. Neither of us knew until we got there. And there was a party going on, like this wasn't a classy establishment, this was a whole rock'n'roll scene that made me scared to go to the bathroom by myself. And they had this thing there, called 'drink the tank,' and it was literally like this 10 gallon fish tank filled with liquor. And whoever could drink the most would win, and-"
"Logan drank the tank," I said, a statement, not a question, putting my own head in my hands and shaking it slightly. Of course he did.
"The WHOLE THING," Kitty confirmed, eyes wide. "I mean, everybody was cheering. There were definitely some Wolverine fans in that bar. Some female Wolverine fans who weren't shy about it, if you know what I mean. But after he had finished that tank, he was like, blackout. Seriously, he wouldn't move. Out cold. So me, and some of the girls from the bar tried to get him home. I dropped them off at the door, and made sure he was still, you know, breathing..."
"That's who the girls were?" I asked, looking up at Kitty incredulously. "So they were strippers. But they were just... being good samaritans?" I asked skeptically.
She stared back at me, "Wait...is that why you're so upset?" she asked me. "You think Logan... Okay, Jean I know you guys don't want to tell me whatever's going on, for whatever reason, but if you're freaked out because you think Logan was banging strippers last night- pardon my language- let me put your mind at ease. I'm pretty sure he was clinically dead from alcohol poisoning until.." she checked her watch, "Probably a couple hours ago."
"Jesus," I said, holding my head in my hands. Could anything go more wrong today. But at the same time, I had to admit, I felt relief wash over me as well. I had immediately assumed the worst, and almost ruined everything in the process.
"I need to talk to Logan," I said, standing suddenly, and Kitty and Emma stared at me.
"Are you sure that's a good idea right now?" Kitty asked, looking dubiously at me.
"You did just try to kill him," Emma pointed out.
"You tried to WHAT?" Kitty said, staring at me with shock.
"Look... I appreciate this... all of this. Emma you were right, I needed to cool down. But I'm okay. I promise."
They both stared at me.
"I promise!" I repeated, slightly annoyed that my mental stability was truly this unbelievable, as they looked at each other. Kitty gave a small shrug as if to say, I tried.
I got up, and knocked softly on Logan's door.
"Yeah, come in," I heard a weary growl on the other side of the door.
I walked in quietly, and took a deep breath.
"Logan, I'm sorry," I said.
He was sitting in the middle of his bed, and he looked like death.
"For what?" He asked. I opened my mouth, closed it, then cracked a smile, and I saw a faint smile back from him.
"Can I uh- excuse me- uh- can I-Lockheed?" Kitty asked politely, edging her way through the door. At the sound of her voice, the dragon flew over and happily crawled onto her shoulder, laying across and nuzzling her cheek.
"Okay!" Kitty said. "Awkward! I'm done! Gonna go now guys! Bye! Good luck Logan!" she said, giving a little wink before quickly making her exit.
Logan and I looked at each other. Just being close to him again, feeling his presence... it did something to me. I couldn't deny that pull that always existed when we were together. I just wanted to crawl into bed with him, and let him make me forget everything we were so angry about, forget my own name. I longed for it. I wondered if he could see in my eyes.
But that wasn't what I was about to do. It couldn't happen that way. I could only hope that Logan could sort out what I was doing follow my lead.
"Why're you here, Jeannie?" Logan asked wearily.
"I...I just came to say I'm sorry for losing my temper."
"That's all?" Logan asked, something like hope in his eyes.
"That's all," I said, and staring at him hard, I spoke directly into his head.
Logan, I need to tell you something important. It's not safe here. I need to you to run. Go somewhere safe, somewhere far from here. I'll find you.
Logan's eyes widened at this, and then he looked confused.
"I'm sorry that I chose Scott, but we both know it was for the best," I told him out loud, staring back, willing him to just trust me on this.
As soon as I leave, go. I promise I'll explain it all. We are in grave danger.
"Ah... okay Jeannie," Logan said slowly, looking around and then back at me. "I uh, I guess I respect yer decision, even if I don't like it," he said in an unconvincing tone.
You need to make it believable Logan, there are eyes and ears everywhere.
"Fine," he growled. "I mean, if you wanna waste your time on pencil-dick over there, I don't give a shit. Just leave me the fuck alone will you?" he snarled.
Well, I suppose he'd taken me seriously when I told him to make it realistic.
"You don't need to use that kind of language with me," I told him tritely. "I can tell I'm not welcome here, I'll be leaving now."
I love you Logan I told him.
All of the longing, all of the pain I'd experienced, I put it in those words.
I saw his eyes dim, soften, connect with mine. Just for a moment. And in that moment, I knew he loved me too.
Then I stalked out, slammed the door, and I did the hardest thing of all that day. I waited.