Chapter Thirteen: Blood and Satellites

I awoke with images in my mind, feeling like all the things I couldn't quite remember. Eyes behind lenses floating within frameworks of steel. An army of puppet soldiers in black and purple. Sayaka's witch wielding Kyoko's spear. The letter I received from Madoka, unopened and sitting in the drawer of my desk.

I got out of bed an went for the letter. Inside was a single sheet of paper with a single word, written in Madoka's handwriting: Homulilly.

Madoka's arms wrapped around me from behind. "Hold on, just a little longer," she said. "You're almost there."

"Almost where?" I asked, but she was gone. I put the page back in the envelope and returned it to my desk. The images were still in my mind, each one dragging with it a wave of grief and sorrow, a reminder of something I couldn't quite understand.

I took a walk.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"Homura!" Madoka shouted from across the street, waving. She was with Mami and Sayaka. Mami looked up from the gift bag in her hands and smiled at me. Sayaka was distracted by her phone.

I crossed the street and joined them. "Good morning, Madoka. Good morning, Mami. Good morning, Sayaka."

Sayaka looked up, surprised. "Oh, hi. When'd you get here?" Madoka sighed. Mami laughed.

My mind dredged up another image. Sayaka standing before her witch. The interference was there, blocking me from understanding, but it was weaker than before.

"We were about to get lunch," Mami said. "I was actually about to call you. You're welcome to join us."

"I will, thank you," I replied. "I need to speak with Sayaka first. Go ahead without us, we will catch up."

"Sure," Mami said, taking Madoka with her.

"What's up?" Sayaka asked, still paying attention to her phone.

"I have come to believe that something is wrong with this world."

She looked up at me. "You noticed, too?"

"There are inconsistencies which I cannot explain. Of everyone I know, you are the one least like who my memories say you should be. I know that you died, without question, and became a witch. But I also remember you returning and having control over your witch form."

"But wasn't that in a previous loop?"

"I suspect that this may not be a new iteration at all, but another instance of deception."

"Ah, I see." She put her phone away. "I had a dream last night, but I don't think it was a dream. I was... Somewhere, standing on the head of a mermaid witch. I think it was me, or at least part of me. I spoke with Madoka, but she wasn't Madoka. She was..."

"The goddess. Jeanne called her the Madokami, though I do not like the term."

"So she's real? She's really there?"

"She is. What did she tell you?"

"I don't remember. I know we talked and I know she hugged me, um... She was proud of me, I think. She was happy that I was happy. She was happy that I was your friend."

"Yes, that sounds like her."

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know yet. I am trying to find out. Let's get lunch."

"Right."

We continued on, me following Sayaka, her leading, I presumed, to where they'd agreed to eat.

"Hey, Homura?"

"Yes?"

"This world... You said you don't think it's another loop?"

"That's right."

"Then... It's a continuation?"

"That is my present theory."

"What was the world like, after Madoka made her wish?"

I hesitated. "It was lonely."

"Lonely?"

"I was lonely. I was alone, even with Mami and Kyoko there. None of us... We were all alone in that world."

"What about me?"

"You were gone. Your death was... Necessary, in some way, I think. It was a fixed point which the goddess Madoka could not change without changing the outcome of the world."

Sayaka stopped. "Did I..." She closed her eyes and took a breath. "Did I die well?"

"You died defending the people you cared about."

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Then I'm glad. I finally did it right. But if I died and this isn't another loop, then..."

"Something is blocking my memories, but the barrier is weakening. I remember you returning at some point, with Madoka. I remember... No, I have the idea of a false world in my head, like this one but different. That one was imperfect, as we-" I stopped mid-sentence. The presence of a witch struck me, and then again in another direction. I looked to Sayaka.

"I feel it, too. Looks like lunch is going to have to wait. I'll head south and have Kyoko meet me there."

"Right, I'll take the other one with Mami."

'We have company,' Mami said.

'Sayaka is heading south and having Kyoko join her.'

'She just left.'

'Good. Can you meet me at the other one?'

'Sure. I'm going to take Madoka home first. It's on the way.'

'Right, see you soon.' I ran towards the other witch. The path took me down into an abandoned subway station. I blockaded the entrance and waited for Mami.

"I was hoping today would be relaxing," she said as she arrived. "But this is us. This is life."

"It is," I replied, transforming. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a reflection in a puddle, a witch with flowers for a head. It was gone as soon as I noticed it. The word from Madoka's letter rang through my mind.

"Are you alright?" Mami asked, coming over to me.

"I'm... Fine," I replied, forcing a smile. "I thought I saw something. After we deal with this witch, we can relax."

"I hope you're right," she replied.

"Let's go." I put my hand to the barrier which surrounded the labyrinth. A doorway opened and we entered.

The labyrinth took the form of an old train station, filled with minions in wide-brimmed hats and pants with tassels down the sides. Their hands clutched guns, though far more crude than Mami's, and every glance was taken as a threat. They would pose, then draw their weapons and fire. It was easy enough to dispatch them.

The witch had a wide-brimmed hat, as well, though she wore a dress that might once have been blue. Tears of blood and sand streamed down her face from empty eye sockets, creating more minions where they fell. Her hands were tied, and she used the rope as a whip.

I felt a pull towards her. There was an echo inside my head, as though I could hear her thoughts. She called out for revenge, once against the one who had wronged her but now against anyone who stood in her way. Her nature was rage, blind and wild, and nothing of the girl remained.

Her weakness was her fury, throwing everything at us as soon as she knew we were there. The minions were easy enough to defeat, Mami and I spinning and firing, back to back, jumping out of the way as the rope swung at us. When the flood had been stopped, we took to the rooftops, firing salvo after salvo. Eventually, we wore her down.

In her final moments, I felt her relief. "Lola," I said as the labyrinth dissolved around us.

"Lola?"

"Her name was Lola. The magical girl."

"How do you know?"

"I heard it." I turned to her. "I could feel her thoughts."

"I couldn't."

"No, you wouldn't be able to. I think this is another peculiarity of this world."

'If you're done, we could really use some help!'

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

By the time the seventeenth witch fell, we could barely stand. We waited, panting, as we cleared our soul gems. After a minute, longer than there had been between attacks at any point that day, we allowed ourselves to rest. I dropped to the ground in exhaustion, landing with my arms outstretched on a patch of grass below a sunset sky.

"Has that ever happened before?" asked Sayaka, leaning against a light pole.

"Not that I have seen," I replied. Mami sat down next to me. "There has been more activity in this loop than the normal rules would allow."

"It's almost like they're being drawn here," Mami said.

"Why would they be drawn here?" Kyoko asked. "How do you even lure a witch?"

"We cannot," I replied. "However, I suspect that the goddess Madoka may be driving them here, though for what reason I do not know. I also do not know why she does not cleanse them herself, as she-" I stopped mid-sentence.

"As she what?" Sayaka asked.

"The goddess Madoka," I began, fighting through the interference, "would visit each magical girl at the moment before their transformation, relieving them of their grief and shepherding them to become a part of her, something known as the Law of the Cycle."

I remembered, then, a deluge: Kyubey's interference. Madoka's return. The sundering of the goddess and Madoka, the subsequent sealing of her power. My witch state, my demon state. The breaking of the Law of the Cycle.

There was more, I could feel it, but I didn't know where to begin looking. There was power, there, too, just beyond my reach. I could feel it pulling towards me, wanting to be used, wanting to be reunited. There was a barrier, like the interference but immeasurably more powerful, something which had been designed to be unbreakable except by its creator.

I closed my eyes. 'I'm... A witch?'

'Correct,' Kyubey replied.

'Then this is my labyrinth.'

'No. Your labyrinth encases the entirety of your universe. This is a pocket which runs within that universe. It was created based off of experiments which were conducted to discover the nature of the Law of the Cycle, as your memories call it. This research has since been repurposed.'

'Then who made this world?'

'I cannot say.'

'Cannot or will not?'

'I cannot say. This world has rules which I am not allowed to break, similarly to how you are not allowed access to your additional source of power.'

'Then you're trapped here, too.'

'Yes, along with everyone else.'

I hesitated. 'Who would do this to me? And why?'

'You know the answer to your question.'

I screamed to the heavens, "What do you want from me?!"

"Homura?" Mami asked.

"I'm a witch. This entire world is a fraud, put on by the goddess Madoka! Why?!"

Mami took my hand. "You're not a witch."

"I am! I became a witch, and when everyone tried to save me, I... I don't know. There is something I still can't remember. The goddess Madoka is blocking my memory and something else, but I don't know why! If I'm a witch, then why is she not coming to help me? Why is-"

Sayaka dropped to her knees and whispered something in my ear. I couldn't hear the words but I understood the message. It was a safety, installed into her by the goddess Madoka, to be used in the event that I spiraled into darkness. It was a reinforcement of the barriers which had been put into me, meant, I understood then, to isolate the witch and the demon from the girl.

In that moment, I understood what was happening, and the smallest of cracks formed, for the briefest of instants, in the barrier keeping me from the rest of my memories. The goddess Madoka had begun to undo the work I had put into reshaping the universe, starting with small things, things I wouldn't notice. And when I did, she sealed me and all the others in a false world, one not bound by the laws of my labyrinth. It was the only way she could reverse the process. It was the only way she could cure me of being a witch.

In a flash, the memories were gone, taken by whatever force the goddess Madoka employed. The knowledge of what I had done. The knowledge of why I had done it. The way out of the false world. All gone, leaving in their wake only the understanding I had gained. Leaving me only the knowledge that my enemy, my dearest friend, was working to undo everything I had done for her, to fix everything I had done to her. Leaving me only with a single choice, to trust her or to rebel again.

I sat up. "Thank you. I apologize. I seem to have overextended myself today."

"Let me see your soul gem," Sayaka said. I revealed it. It was clear. "Weird. Oh, is that the other ribbon?"

"It's my link to her."

"Let's go home," Mami said, standing up and offering me a hand. Sayaka stood, as well. Kyoko looked at us, concerned but mostly amused.

"No," I replied, taking Mami's hand. "Thank you, but I would really rather be alone tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"She needs to commune with her goddess," Sayaka replied.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Mami insisted we visit a tea shop before parting ways. She bought something in secret, asked me to wait outside while she went in. When she came out, she handed me the bag she had been carrying earlier in the day. "Open this when you get home, ok?" she'd said, and I had agreed.

In the bag was a tea set and two containers of loose-leaf tea. The tea set matched hers, except the yellow accents were purple. The tea I made was chamomile, the scent of it threatened to dredge up old memories, while the one I didn't was a black tea of some sort, itself smelling of something I could only describe as 'home'. I drank a cup sitting alone in my living room.

"I know you're there," I said, putting down my tea cup and staring at the ceiling. "I know you can hear me and I know you can talk to me. You did this morning. So why won't you?"

There was no response and I made another cup of tea. As I finished that cup, there was a knock at the door. It was Sayaka.

"Sorry I'm late," she said.

"I was not expecting you at all," I replied.

"I know. That's actually why I'm here. Can I come in?" I stepped out of the way and entered. "Chamomile?"

"A gift from Mami," I replied. "Would you like a cup?"

"Sure." I retrieved my cup from the table and returned to the kitchen, filling it and another for Sayaka. I thought to bring out snacks, then realized I didn't have any and wished that Mami were here instead of Sayaka.

"Here," I said, handing her cup to her.

"Thanks," she replied, taking it, the saucer clanking against the cup in a way that tried to bring forth another wave of memories. "That's normal, by the way."

"What is?"

"Not being able to remember."

"So now you can read my mind?"

"No." She sipped her tea. "It's more like she's telling me what to say."

"Who? The goddess Madoka?"

"Yeah. The barriers she put around your memories are getting in the way of you hearing her."

"So when I heard her this morning, it's because the barriers were weakening."

"That's what she said. She wants you to know that she forgives you."

"For what?"

"She said you'd know. Maybe that's not right. Maybe she meant that you'd understand. Sorry, I'm trying to figure this out as I go. She also wants to say she's sorry for all the trouble she's causing, but it's important, so hold on, ok?"

"Hold on until when?"

"I don't know. Walpurgisnacht, maybe. That's where you usually loop back from, right?"

"It is. Everything that has happened, has happened because of Walpurgisnacht. Does she... Madoka, what are you doing?"

Sayaka was silent for a moment. "She can't explain it. Not in a way we'd understand, I think. I get the feeling it's like trying to solve a puzzle, but the puzzle keeps changing. I think it's more than just taking care of you. She's looking for an answer, like you did when you went back through time." She finished her tea and stood up. I stood, as well. "Thanks for the tea. I need to get going. I have to go meet up with Kyoko."

"Thank you for coming," I replied, walking her to the door. "Be safe."

"Don't worry, dad." She smiled and left.

I closed the door behind her. My hand stayed on the knob. 'Mami?'

'Hey, what's up?'

'Are you free?'

'Kind of. Want to come over? My neighbor asked me to watch his cat for a few days while he's out of town and I don't want to leave him alone.'

'That would be nice. Thank you.'

'I'm glad to have the company.'

I pulled on my jacket and left.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

I took the long way to Mami's apartment, my hands buried in the pockets of my jacket, wishing I'd put on something nicer. There was a stall selling scarves on the outside edge of a market. I picked one that was gold with pink and purple flowers, then thought to get one for Mami but decided to check elsewhere in the market for something else. Something that would feel, at least to me, less like an afterthought, less like something I did out of convenience and obligation.

I realized quickly that I had no idea what Mami would want. For all my lives, I had never learned any of her hobbies or interests. I'd never learned such things of any of my fellow magical girls except for Madoka. But Mami had never learned those things of me, either. She gave me something she enjoyed, with the hope that I would enjoy it, too.

I didn't know what to share with her. I didn't know what I could share. I had no hobbies, no interests, nothing from the last half of my life, anyway. I'd had, at one point, an interest in collecting figma and similar action figures, but there wasn't much in that which I could share.

There was a stall selling hand-carved chess pieces. My father had taught me chess before he passed, though my mother had always been the better player. I purchased a set and a board and hoped that I still remembered how to play.

As I continued through the market, I found Sayaka and Kyoko outside a popup café. Sayaka was wearing the dress she'd worn during the funeral, her hair and jewelry put together in a way that made her look like an heiress. Kyoko was back in her suit, though her pants had been replaced by a matching skirt and Sayaka had the jacket draped over her shoulders. I tried to turn away before being noticed.

'What, not gonna come over and say hi?' Kyoko asked.

'I did not want to intrude.'

'Too late. Come have a drink.'

I turned back around and walked to them. "Good evening, Kyoko. Good evening, Sayaka."

"Oh, hey, Homura," Sayaka said, more than a little embarrassed.

"Here, sit," Kyoko said, kicking out a chair from under the table.

I sat. "How is your evening?"

"Oh, it's great. Just a completely normal couple of friends having a completely normal cup of coffee." Kyoko's voice had an unusual edge to it, one I'd only heard from her when she was chastising Sayaka. "What's in the bag?"

"A chess set. A gift for Mami."

"I didn't know she played chess."

"I was hoping, am hoping, to teach her."

"Well, good luck with that. I-"

"Enough!" Sayaka stood up and shouted. "I can't take it! You get me dressed up, drag me out here, and, and..."

Kyoko jumped from her seat and kissed Sayaka over the table. I was keenly aware of how many peoples' attention had been pulled by Sayaka's outburst. Even more looked over as the crowd whispered. I sat back and watched, as well.

Sayaka broke the kiss after a few seconds. She was blushing. Kyoko had a sternness to her look that I hadn't seen before. "Sayaka, whatever happens, whatever's coming, I don't want you to have any regrets. And I don't want to have any, either."

"Kyoko... Everyone... They're..."

"Let them stare," Kyoko said, and kissed her again.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

I finally got to Mami's apartment, considerably later than I'd intended. She answered the door with a smile. "You made it."

"I'm sorry for being so late. I had... A detour. I got you a gift." I stepped inside and handed her the bag.

She closed the door and took the bag to the living room table. "I like your scarf."

"Thank you, I... Felt like I should dress up. I found it in an open air market."

"You don't need to dress up for me," Mami replied. She still hadn't opened the bag.

"Yes, but I would like to at least attempt to keep up with you. You have a clear sense of style and I..."

"Your style is, come on, sit down." I walked over to the table and sat across from her. "Your style is a reflection of your personality, Homura. It's cold and impersonal, but it's also bold. It has the same elements as gothic fashion. It's the style we have here, but you use it like the gothic subcultures do elsewhere. It's your armor."

"Armor? Against what?"

"Against anyone who wants to get too close to you. You use it to keep people out. You use it to keep yourself separate from the world. You know what they say: A heart on the run keeps a hand on the gun. It must be a very lonely way to live."

"It's not as lonely as it used to be."

"I think the fact that you want to change is a good thing. It means you're growing. Maybe you can finally be at home in the world in which you live."

I closed my eyes. "Home... Home was a dream, one that I'd never seen until I knew you. Until I knew you." There was a pause. I opened my eyes when I heard Mami rustling through the bag. She pulled out a piece of the tissue paper packing, the only thing in reach, and wiped her eyes. "You haven't opened your gift."

She smiled. "The fact that you got me something is enough. Whatever's in this bag is just a thing. The real gift is that you got it for me."

"That may be, but I still picked the thing for a reason."

She looked down and unpacked the bag. "A chess set?"

"Do you know how to play?"

"No. Can you teach me?"

"I think so. I haven't played since... I wound up alone. Since my parents died. It was something special between them, and between them and I. I had hoped that it could be something special between us, too."

Mami wiped her eyes again and nodded.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Author's Notes:

We're approaching the end of the story, but it's really more like the end of the beginning. Right now, there's three more chapters of story, a mini epilogue, and a final chapter of notes, and then we go straight into the follow-up. It takes place in the world that exists after this story's conclusion, but I wouldn't call it a sequel, though it does still follow most of the same characters, plus others. It's also told from multiple points of view, rather than just Homura's - Homura takes care of business, Sayaka meets some old friends of Kyoko's, Mami takes a mental health break... Oh, and there's a war coming, in case you were worried that it would be a straight-up slice of life sort of thing.