I have no excuses - I've been suffering with a lot of writer's block on this story.
Here's the deal: I work a lot. I have six jobs atm. And so I've been exhausted. I love this story and want to finish it, but it's hard. I'm sorry because I know lots of you love it. Please know I'm doing my best, but my time is taken and my days are numbered.
I will be moving away for work on the 17th of March. I will be in a place where I will not have access to this site until October 4th, 2022, when my work period will end if I'm not extended. That means that this account will go on permanent hiatus around the 15th of March. I've got to finish packing, get my travel papers in order, etc.
I love you all so much and I'm sorry I'm not the most streamlined creator. This story could have been finished a long time ago if I'd sat down and worked instead of being so tired all the time. But I'm doing my best now and my best is all I have to offer.
I think there's maybe three or four more chapters to this story. I'm going to move a tiny bit faster as we go.
I don't own Descendants(And if I did, D3 would have had the same music(+a Bal love song) and a better plot.
Ben's mouth was pressed into the straightest line expression she'd ever seen.
"What's wrong?" She asked, getting to her feet and setting down her pen as he shut the door to her office with his foot and then stepped inside. He reached for her with this sense of desperation that threw her off for only a second before she wrapped her arms around him and let him burrow his nose into her collar. She ran a hand up and down his back carefully before she hummed and ran a hand through his hair. "Did something happen?" she asked.
Ben exhaled. "Not… recently," he explained and paused to swallow. His eyes were closed as he continued leaning into her like she was something stabilizing in a chaotic world. "I just learned… the guards just told me…"
Mal couldn't deny her world sped up. What now? New security measures? Had another problem arisen? Were they going to tell them that she and Ben weren't allowed to be together for a while now? "What?" she prodded.
"It's just…" he exhaled again. "That man at the gala. The one with the gun. He… he wasn't there for you."
Mal frowned. It had been two days… the gala felt like ages ago. And the problem had been so small and so easily fixed that Mal had almost forgotten about the one wayward shot that hadn't even made the papers as most people assumed it was something falling. But she did remember and so she looked up at Ben, confused. "Not for me?" she asked. "That's a change. Was it a kingdom conflict?"
Ben shook his head. He looked pale and his pupils were blown out in a dull sort of panic as he traced her features with his eyes. Mal stepped back from him and offered up her office chair, which he fell into without ado. He ran his hands – first his right and then his left – through his hair before sighing. Mal could hear the crackle of gel before she had to hold back a giggle at his mussed hair. She missed the little whisper Ben gave when it came.
"What?" she asked.
"It was for me," Ben repeated, catching her eyes with that same panic. "It was an assassination attempt… on me. They were gunning for me."
Mal felt her mouth fall open. "You?" She exclaimed. "But… I don't understand." Ben's record with the kingdom was stellar, tainted only by the scandals she'd been involved in. He was the Isle's Savior, the model of perfection and patience. Someone said 'Enduring love and kindness' and people thought of him. "Why would they want to… to…"
She couldn't even bring herself to think the words.
"They're still mad I put you on the throne," Ben murmured and Mal felt her heart sink into her chest. Of course she had to be tied in somehow, right? "But they're also… annoyed with the government as a whole. They think that having the courts around isn't enough and that the monarchies have too much power. We think – what they were trying to do – well, they were hoping-,"
"Rebellion," Mal finished. "They wanted to cause an uproar." She reached out and squeezed his hands. "Well, they picked the wrong royal. Everyone loves you."
"Yeah, well…" Ben leaned forward, looking like he might be sick. "Obviously not everyone."
"This isn't your fault," Mal murmured. She pushed his chair back from his desk and put her arms around him. "It's not. Don't think it is." She put her arms around him for a long, slow hug.
Ben exhaled. "I know," he said. "I'm just being silly. It's just… a lot easier to protect you than it is to protect myself."
"Tell that to Heritage Guard."
Ben laughed. Mal brushed his hair back and he leaned his head with the action, smiling as he did. She kissed his forehead. "Maybe it's time I protect you?"
Ben put his hand on her torso as his smile faded. Mal rolled her eyes and then stopped her sarcastic remark before it could bubble to the surface. Ben's fingers had pressed right into her old wound. His expression was dark. "You don't need to protect me, darling," he whispered. "Just let me take care of you."
"Happy anniversary, guys!" Evie bid and passed around fancy sodas in glass bottles to Mal, Jay, and Carlos as they kicked off their shoes and headed down towards the beach. Emily cooed from the baby backpack Evie wore. This wasn't their usual spot since Mal's guards had insisted on a secluded area, but the Isle of the Lost was still visible, out over the waves. The flickering barrier was covered in green clouds.
Jay twisted the lid off his soda. "Well," he raised it into the air. "Here's to a celebration of not being dead."
"Amen to that," Mal said, toasting her still-closed bottle as well.
Carlos twisted the top and the cap exploded off with the force of a toy rocket. Sugary spray rained down on Mal's face and clothes while the cap flew away to land with a plop in the ocean.
"Whoops. Must have tipped in the car," Evie said while Jay and Mal laughed.
Carlos laid out a blanket for them all to sit on and Jay carefully arranged his offering of potato chips out in the center. Carlos had brought sandwiches and Mal had prepared some cookies for them all to share. Evie pulled Emily out of her carrier and set her upright on the blanket, where she swayed, but managed to stay sitting.
"Look at you!" Mal cheered. "You're so big, you can sit up now!"
Emily began to wail. She didn't know Mal and apparently didn't like the stranger anymore. Evie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Princess, you're a handful."
"I'm not a handful, mom," Jay whined for Emily and leaned over to pick her up. "Take it back, take it back, take it back." He laid Emily's stomach across one hand and flew her towards Evie's face. Emily laughed and slobbered all over Evie's leg.
Evie took the baby back with an eye roll. "Sure you aren't, sweetheart." She sat her up in her lap and looked out at the barrier. "How many more kids are out there, Mal?"
"Not many," Mal said. "The ones who didn't want to come… the ones too little to come. But the place is different now. Ben and I have put up new buildings and stuff over the years. Mostly back before I was queen."
"Why did we want you to become queen, again?" Jay asked. "Life was easier when you saw Ben for two hours a week and we only saw the guards coming into the palace."
"I think Ben should quit," Mal announced. "That's my solution." She popped the top on her soda and took a long drink. Everyone chuckled.
"If only, right?" Carlos rolled his eyes.
"Sixteen more years," Evie said.
Jay looked out over the water and began to slowly unwrap a sandwich. "I know I said it like a joke, but every time we come out here I just feel like… wow. I mean, 'Wow, I didn't die out there'."
"Oh," Mal said. "For me, it's just 'Wow, I'm still alive.'"
"That's everywhere," Evie said. "I know what you mean, Jay. Just looking out and wondering "what if I hadn't come off the Isle alive?" Or if one of you…" She trailed off, looking sad. Emily hiccupped and tipped over, where she began to writhe. Evie set her on the warm sand.
"My mother could have killed me," Carlos said. "I almost didn't make it over here."
Mal stayed quiet. Sure, she related. Her mother could have finished her off as a baby and she'd never have known any of them, never have become queen, wouldn't have the chance to stare at the Isle and ponder her life's fragility. But it was hard to look at death as a possibility of the past when she'd come to terms that, at any point, there could be someone around her trying to kill her. Uma… the Freemen… anyone.
She held the glass up to the light. "Well, I just want you all to know that I'm glad we get to be here together. That… things worked out and we all stayed alive."
"Especially you," Jay whispered.
"Especially Carlos," Mal deflected his concern. "He had the worst mom out of all of us."
"Well…" Jay rolled his eyes.
"Didn't your mom throw you out the window once?" Evie asked Mal.
"Oh, is that all?" Carlos scoffed. They all laughed. Emily rolled onto her stomach on the sand and began trying to swim on top of the grains to get back to her mom. Mal pointed at her goddaughter.
"To be honest, she throws me off the most," she said. "Because… if I had died on the Isle… I don't know… maybe Ben and Audrey would have worked out."
Jay spat his soda out to the side as he laughed.
"But," Mal continued, gesturing to Emily. "If… anything had happened to Evie on the Isle… she wouldn't exist. She's like… an object permanence complex to me. The fact Emily exists just blows my mind when I think about everything that happened over there."
"Me too." Evie picked the baby back up and kissed her head. She looked down and smiled. "If I give you to Aunt Mal, will you still be a squirt? Or will you be nice to her?"
Mal held her hands out, but low. Evie swung Emily's legs over and let Emily lean against Mal's leg. Emily leaned her head back and stared at Mal, eyes wide. Mal smiled. "You know me, right?" She pinched a lock of her hair and held it towards Emily. "Remember?"
Emily took the hair and tugged softly, but her eyes still had that lost look.
"Oh, I know," Mal said and reached for her phone. She turned it on to show Emily the screensaver of her and Ben. "You know Ben, right? You like Ben."
Immediately, Emily smiled. "Eiy!" she screeched and slapped Mal's phone out of her hand.
"Whoops!" Mal picked it back up to show her again and Emily slowly grabbed the side of the device to gaze at Ben. Then she cooed and dropped her open mouth onto Mal's pant leg, where she began to slobber up the material until Evie sighed and pulled her off.
"Professional Slimer, here," Evie said, offering Mal a wet wipe. "Sorry about that."
"No problem." Mal brushed Emily's hair down. "If I have a boy, we should set them up and she can be queen."
"Shot at every other week," Jay remarked.
"Pass." Evie hugged her baby. "If Lonnie has a boy though, we'll consider it."
Mal groaned. "Come on, E. I'm just trying to get out of my job!"
They all laughed again and Carlos raised his amber glass to the bottle-green barrier. "Well, here's to never going back."
"That is a motion I can get behind," Evie said. They clinked their glasses together and laid back in the sun to watch the waves.
Being warned about how there would be a lot of pain and suddenly waking up with dull aches that seared when she moved were two different things.
Mal came to laying on her side in the bed with half of her body feeling tingly with paresthesia and the other half feeling like a stretched muscle. She focused on breathing as she slowly stretched her hand out, working out that pins-and-needles feeling, and then tried to roll onto her back. Her vision went white. Bad. Bad.
Okay. Calm down. She splayed her hand out over the sheets and began waking the other one up so she could feel down her torso for where the pain was the worst. It was right over her old wound, aching and throbbing around the new curve of her belly.
Yeah. She was five months and basically a beached whale.
Something dropped in the bathroom – a metallic clang against the counter that she immediately connected to a bottle of hairspray. "Ben?" She called and the door opened.
He sat down on the end of the bed and laid down so their faces were just a few inches apart. "Good morning, lovely," he said.
And just like that, her mood was better. All grogginess gone, the pins-and-needles barely affecting her. She smiled and reached out for his hand and they tangled their fingers together and looked at each other. He was already ready for the day. Perfect hair, perfect suit, perfect guy. She sighed. "Look at how lucky I am," she mumbled.
His laugh made her feel even better. His fingers traced her cheek and his eyes were so bright and he was so happy… he made her happy just by being happy. She was blessed to bask in his brightness.
"Have I told you today that I love you?"
"You just woke up."
"I love you so much."
His acknowledging rumble made the bed hum beneath her and could have lulled her back to sleep if she weren't so excited to just be here, on this morning, having this wonderful view before her eyes. She squeezed his hand more.
"This was a good idea," Ben said. He still hadn't said "I love you" back, but Mal had a feeling it was more because he was in the same mood she was. Expressions full of sonder and numen. Wonder and peace.
"What was a good idea?"
"Marrying you so we could spend mornings just staring at each other."
"That was a good idea."
Mal untangled her buried hand and held it up beside his face. Her ring sparkled beside his eyes. He smirked when he realized what she was doing. "Someone's happy today."
"You're infectious."
Her stomach growled, which served to both interrupt her mood and cause a few more additional pain waves to radiate through her ribs. She winced, went to put a hand on the wound, and then cursed herself when the contact made it worse. Ben let go of one hand to grab the other and pull it back before leaning in to kiss her. The pain dulled and stopped and he laid his head back down where it had been. "Bad today."
It wasn't a question.
Mal chuckled. "Could you get me some painkillers? I can't get up. It's too much."
"Of course." He kissed her again and then got up and off the bed to walk around to her side. "On a scale from five to ten, how would you rate your pain?"
"Isn't it supposed to be one through ten?"
"I assumed you were beyond five."
Fair. "Just give me the lowest dose and I'll take more as needed." She drummed her fingers and focused on the weave of the sheets until Ben sat back down with two blue pills in his hand. She reached, squeezed his fingers as she took them, and quickly swallowed them down.
"Water?" Ben asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.
Mal shook her head. "I think I'm fine." She patted the space beside her head. Ben slid over, brushing the covers back, and then helped her lay her head down on his thigh. She put her hand on his knee and closed her eyes as he began untangling her hair.
"You shouldn't really take pills on an empty stomach."
"I won't have an empty stomach as soon as the pills kick in."
"I could always bring breakfast up."
"But I have to roll over anyway to eat it. Might as well stop the pain as soon as possible."
"Fair." He put his hand on her shoulder blade and rubbed before relaxing back against the headboard. "Have I said I love you yet today?"
"You have not." Her smile was back, distracting her from her pain.
"I'm off my game then." He sighed and ran his hand down her back. "I love you. So much."
"Even if I'm broken?" She picked her head up and raised her eyebrows at him. Ben took her hand and squeezed it.
"Especially so. I finally got what I always wanted. A damsel in distress."
Her expression fell slack and her lips pinched together. "You're joking."
He burst into laughter. "Sorry, sorry." Deep breath. "Mal, darling, there is no injury that would make me love you less. Lifelong or otherwise. You're my person."
Mal's smile returned. "You're my person too."
"I know I am," Ben said. "Which is why I need you to trust that I'm yours. I know you don't like having to ask me to come to bring you stuff and you don't like all the new help. But I'm not laughing, I'm not holding a grudge, and I'm happy to be here with you."
His fingers curled around her chin. "Can you please stop being hard on yourself and just trust we're going to be okay?"
She took the hand around her chin and leaned against their hands. "I guess I can do that."
The pain only grew worse. It got bad to the point Mal wasn't even noticing her other symptoms. Thick hair and heavier breasts meant nothing when she wasn't in any state to care about her appearance. It didn't matter what the shirt said or looked like so long as she could have it on without it hurting to move. Lingering nausea, itchy skin, and the world's worst case of heartburn only flew under the radar as Mal's prescription doses climbed through the roof.
It was frustrating, not being able to turn, to sit, to stand, to even be still without the throbbing. The pain was there constantly, no matter what she was on, and she could only tell the drugs were wearing off when she discovered tears on her cheeks. Other than that, the pain was consistent.
Ben never seemed frustrated with her, which, for some reason, frustrated her even more. On the one hand, she loved that he was patient. He never got tired of bringing her pills when she ran out or phoning doctors or sitting with her when she was hurting too much to move or even talk to him. He was reliable and safe. But the less she did, the more she wanted to scream at herself. And a small part of her wanted Ben to be angry too. He wasn't, though. He just… was.
Evie dropped in occasionally, sometimes bringing Emily, but Mal was always too tired to talk to her friend. She'd lay on her bed, hugging her pillow, and focus on her breathing while Emily clambered across the mountains her mom made for her out of blankets and pillows, peering out towards childish cartoons Evie would put on the TV. Evie would work on clothes designs and pat Mal's shoulder from time to time. But Mal wasn't very good company, so the visits became fewer and further in between.
"Have you ever knocked a person out before?" Mal asked, late one night while she watched the sun climb down towards the bottom windowpane.
Ben was getting off a phone call, bringing the speaker down from his ear. He paused, staring at the phone while computing both what he'd been intending to do next and what his wife had just said. "Sorry, what?" He asked.
"I was just thinking… have you ever knocked anyone out?" Mal fumbled with the covers, managed to pull herself across the bed a few inches, and tried feeling for a pillow to help her sit up.
Ben found her hand and, with a steadying leverage on her side, helped her sit up and then back into the headboard. "Uh… maybe in tourney. What brought this on?"
"There's like… this vein or whatever in your neck, and it'll put you out if you compress it. I was wondering if you could-"
"I'm not knocking you out," Ben interrupted flatly.
"Please?" She turned the puppy-dog eyes on and pouted. "It won't hurt me. I'm just tired, Ben. I can't sleep."
Ben sighed and swiped a bottle of sleep-aids off her nightstand. He sat beside her and glared at them. "These didn't work?"
Mal shook her head. "Just made me more sleepy." She closed her eyes, leaned back, and grimaced. "I'm glad she's a still baby."
"She?" Ben asked.
"You always say she, so I started copying you." Mal exhaled and laid a hand out on her belly. "Is it weird that I'm almost six months in and I haven't felt them kick? They just… roll around and stretch sometimes."
"I actually did look that up because I was curious," Ben said as he moved and laid down beside her. "Apparently if it's your first pregnancy and you're under 25 weeks, you don't need to worry too much."
"This is the 25th week," Mal said flatly. "I've still got… 15 weeks of this ahead."
Ben put an icy hand on her belly and sighed. "We should… we need to consider inducing you early."
"Is it safe?"
"Nothing about this is safe, either way." Ben sighed. "Listen… I've been looking at a bunch of sites… I think we should ask the doctor if he can induce you at 34 or 35 weeks."
"They'll die," Mal immediately responded. "Won't they?"
Ben shook his head and threaded his hands together. He was pale. "There's actually, like, a forty or fifty percent change they would live if we induced you now. There are risks, though. They could have attention disabilities or other issues if we induce them too soon. But at thirty-five weeks, most organs are developed, and they're just gaining extra weight before they're born. So if we induced you… around then… maybe it'd work?" He glanced over for rejection.
Mal put her own hand back on her belly and exhaled. This was awful, yes, but if the baby died, then she'd have to do it all over again. The pain and meds and everything. Could she hold out? This was already a lot harder than she'd been anticipating. If not for Ben, she'd have to have an in-home maid and a secretary to keep her afloat. And even with Ben, she was in pain. Searing hot, panging hurt. Mal swallowed. "Maybe we should consider it."
The sigh of relief was so loud Mal jumped. Ben slumped to the right and buried his face in the pillows. "I was so worried you were going to be mad at me," he groaned. "Oh, thank evil."
"Thank evil?"
"Isn't that what you used to say? Thank evil? Because you didn't want to thank goodness?"
"I didn't ever think I'd hear that come out of your mouth."
Ben propped himself up on his hands, face still flushed from him holding his breath. "You'll consider it? Really? Promise?"
"I'm considering it right now." Mal pulled her shirt hem down. "We'll need to ask the doctor what he thinks. Though, I feel like you're becoming an expert on what's going on inside me."
"I should consider a Ph.D.," Ben hummed. "The study of Mal, what goes on in that head and also I know a lot about babies now."
The idea was so illogical and random that it ripped a laugh right out of Mal. She tried to stop it before it came and it turned into a cough that clenched every sore muscle at once and elicited a jarring motion from-
"Oh my gosh," Mal gasped for breath and pressed harder against her belly. "Oh my gosh."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Ben was apologizing as he rubbed her arms. "I didn't think that through and-"
"She kicked." Mal took his hand and tried to find the spot again. "Right when I laughed. I felt it. Let's see if she'll do it again?"
"Really?" All apologies disintegrated. Ben kept his hand careful on her skin and then, with so much caution it was like he was driving through roadwork across her stomach, he dropped his hands and brushed her shirt up.
Geesh, she missed those days that all she'd had on her body were old scars. The old greenish bruises were back with all the strain her body had been under and so her skin looked like choppy, half-mixed frosting or something. The knife wound was darker than it normally was.
Ben found a place that was mostly white instead of green and waited. He was listening carefully, as if he thought he might hear the baby cry or speak from inside her. Mal didn't mock him for it. She found another mostly bruise-less place and poked it. Then, she bit her tongue and pressed down harder. Ben caught her wrist. "Don't do that!" He chided. "Look, it doesn't matter. You don't need to make them kick again. It'll probably hurt. Let's just let them be still and-"
"Ben." There is was again, someone knock-knocking on her from the inside, right in front of her kidney. She took his hand and moved it and didn't hiss when Ben accidentally leaned on her in his excitement.
The room was still. Then it happened again. Teeny-tiny kicks from a teeny-tiny person. "Hello Mom, Hello Dad, I'm here. Just reminding you incase you forgot."
Ben put both hands on her belly and the kicking increased. Mal had to close her eyes as white spots filled her vision. She rubbed down on top of a bruise to lessen the pain focus. "You know who that is, right?" she whispered, teasingly, to the person who couldn't hear them. "Everyone loves your daddy."
"Who's everyone?" Ben laughed. He took one hand away to wipe a tear out from under his eye and then carefully leaned his ear against her belly. Mal took hold of his hair to stabilize herself while the baby continued using her like a drum set.
"Everyone," she repeated. "She does, the people do… Emily adores you. Not to mention your family, the villain kids… me…"
A well-placed kick to her intestines had her curling up with a gasp. Tears rolled down her cheeks. They hadn't been there before but now decided that spontaneous existence was the best existence. "Oh, Mal," Ben gasped and hurried to take her shoulders and try to help soothe her. The baby kept kicking. Why had she wanted them to do that again? She tried to calm them back down.
"Okay, okay," she hiccupped. "No more. Don't kick anymore. Don't-"
With the removal of Ben's hands, the little one calmed. Mal scrubbed at her cheeks. "Oh, God, Ow," she moaned.
Ben tilted her chin up and tried to go in for a kiss, but Mal stopped him. "Can't," she gasped. "Just… air…" She heaved for breath.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. In… out.
"I'm so sorry," Ben said. "I made it worse, didn't I? I should have… I'm sorry."
"They like you," Mal slowly dropped herself back against the headboard. "Favorite parent, here you come."
Ben looked haunted as he watched her cope with the pain. "Mal… I'm so sorry."
She gestured him down and gave him a peck on the lips. "They don't know any better," she whispered. "I'm glad you like each other. That makes me happy."
He wrapped his arms around her as carefully as he could. Mal closed her eyes against the jostling. "I don't like making you hurt," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
She rested a hand on his chest and stole a kiss, mostly for the healing effects. "We should definitely consider an early delivery," she whispered.
Two weeks later, Mal gave up on attempting to express her pain. There were only so many ways she could say "burning, pinching, stabbing" before she was repeating herself over and over. She got sick of hearing herself complain and figured everyone else (sans Ben) was probably in the same boat, so she coped by locking herself in their room and staying hidden in the bathroom in a fort Ben erected so that she didn't have to move for almost anything. Some work was brought in, but she could rarely finish it. She didn't eat anything for hours on end – the added pressure a meal made would reduce her to tears and full-body shakes she couldn't control. Food just wasn't worth it anymore.
Odd – she'd always expected to have lasting gratitude for food after so many nights without on the Isle. Now, she didn't want to touch it, look at it, smell it, anything. Ben was going crazy trying to keep her alive.
"You signed up for this," She told herself with her cheek against the tile, and the rest of her cocooned up in a thick blanket designed to help her feel like she wasn't touching anything at all. "You knew it would be rough. But it'll be worth it. You've just got to stick with it.
The baby kicked and she almost blacked out.
Eight more weeks. Seven at the least. A month and a half, and life would finally be perfect. It wouldn't matter if she couldn't run or climb anymore. She wouldn't have to. She had a husband who'd take care of her and a job that didn't require lots of physical work. She could sign papers, call friends and associates, and love her family for the rest of her life.
Just eight more weeks.
"We have a problem," Someone said across the room.
"Put it on the waiting list," Ben replied. He worked his hand underneath the mess of sweaty blankets and picked her up. Mal whimpered. He shushed her and leaned back against the counter, letting her sink against his chest. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror hanging on the wall. Black circles for eyes and waxy skin and absolutely miserable. Ben had braided her hair back when she'd finally lost interest in taking care of herself and it was about the only thing presentable about her now.
She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. "I just want to sleep," She mumbled against him. "How long's it been?"
"You've been here for a week," Ben mumbled back. "It's going to be okay. You're almost there.
The baby kicked and Mal flinched, triggering a ricochet of hurt. She didn't reach to touch the tears when they came. Her face was dry enough without her scrubbing at it.
"Your Majesty," The voice came again and Mal distantly recognized Lumiere. "It's your father. He's asking to see you."
Mal opened her eyes. "Is Adam okay?"
Ben hushed her again and sighed. "I'll be there in a moment, Lumiere. Just let me sit with Mal for a bit."
Lumiere walked away. Ben carefully readjusted Mal. His breath ghosted over her head. "What helps?" He whispered. "Do you want to sit in the bath or can I bring you some water?"
Mal sniffled. "I really just want to sleep," she admitted. "If you put me in the bath, I might drown."
Drowning could be nice, but then she wouldn't be able to get her life back in order. Definite drawback.
"Okay." Ben kept himself as still as possible. Mal curled her fingers up and continued being miserable. She didn't have the energy to be anything but miserable.
"My dad's having heart problems and wants to see me," Ben murmured after a long time of nothing.
"Where is he?"
"He's here." Ben kissed her head. "But he just got out of a doctor visit. I'm guessing the news isn't good."
Mal wrestled her hand up and out of the blankets and put it on his chest. He moved his hand on top of hers and rubbed her knuckles for a few seconds before laying her back down. "I have to go see what's up," he said. "But I'll be right back."
"I'll be here."
He tucked the blanket back around her hand and then left. Mal watched his feet move until they were gone. She curled up. What was wrong with Adam? Had he gone back to the hospital? Was it another heart attack?
She might not have slept since she could sit up straight, but Mal determined to remain awake until Ben returned with news. She kept her eyes focused on their room and watched the light from the window move from the floor, up the wall, and finally fade away into black.
The alarm clock beeped for six at night before she finally heard footsteps on the carpet. She braced both hands on the floor and forced herself up. "Ben?" She called.
Silence.
"Honey, are you there?"
There was no response and Mal's heart began to race. This was someone else trying to kill her, right? Someone like Uma or that man on the grounds… she couldn't run now.
With one hand, she pulled herself across the floor towards her phone. Moving so much made her want to throw up. Apparently, that's what extreme fear, extreme fasting, and extreme abdominal pain all at once did to a person.
She grabbed her phone and the door opened. Shaking, she looked to see who her condemner was.
And saw Ben shut the door, lean back against it, and slide down in defeat.
Her thin fingers found the edge of the countertop. She pulled herself to her feet. Everything protested – every bone, every joint, every place she'd lost weight and gained scars. Mal pushed it all away. She was hurting, yes. Hurting more than she'd ever hurt in her life. But Ben was hurting too, and she had to get to him.
Once on her feet, she guided herself towards the door. The world spun, but she focused on the blue blob of Ben's suit jacket and latched onto the doorframe for support. She grabbed his bathrobe off the door handle as she went.
With fluffy garment in hand, she felt along the wall and finally dropped down a few feet from him. Ben jumped – almost to his feet. "Mal!" he gasped. "Oh my- what do you think you're doing?"
She put the bathrobe around his shoulders and hugged him with one arm. "Coming to be with you," she mumbled. "You looked like you might need someone."
"You're going to kill yourself." Ben put his arm around her. "You scared – are scaring - me."
"Sorry." She leaned into him, ran a hand across his chest to rest on his shoulder. "More bad news?"
Ben sighed. "Yeah, but… it'll be okay. Hurts but… everything fades eventually."
Maybe Ben was just like her. Living for that "one day". "One day we'll be happy", "One day we won't have to worry anymore", "One day everything will be alright."
"What's happening?" She asked.
"Same old, I guess," Ben sighed. "Heart failure. It's beating him a new one. He looks…" Ben leaned forward and skimmed her. "Maybe a fifth as bad as you."
Mal covered her face. She could only imagine how bad Adam could look on normal terms and didn't know how Ben could still stand to look at her.
Ben pulled her hands back down. "I meant health-wise." He kissed the side of her head. "I still think you're lovely. Seen better days, sure. But you're lovely."
"Why did your dad want to see you?"
Ben swallowed. She tightened her hand on his shoulder until he composed himself enough. "He just wanted to go over his will," he choked. "Bunch of legal… stuff…"
She reached up to catch the first tear before he could untangle his arm. "Breathe," she whispered. "I know it hurts."
Ben laughed. "I know for a fact you're experiencing mind-bending torture and you call this hurt? This is just… a walk in the park for you." He scrubbed at his face and turned towards the wall. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Mal took his face and pulled their foreheads together. "I know it hurts," she repeated. "And I'm so, so sorry, Ben. You deserve the world and it hurts me that I can't give that to you."
"Don't be sad," He commanded and moved so she didn't have to strain herself as much. "Listen, as King, I have the world; it's overrated. You, our little one… you're my whole life. And I'll be okay. It's just…" he took a deep breath. "I guess I'll need a little more time to get through this."
She nodded, rolling her forehead against his. "That's okay," she said.
After week twenty-nine passed, the pain the baby caused was enough to knock her out. Finally, Mal was able to descend into unconscious bliss, watching hours disappear and praising every second she wasn't awake. Ben, Belle, and occasionally Evie were all practically force-feeding her, and the pain after eating was excruciating, but that just meant more time passed-out and escaping from the wracking pains.
Ben remained in heavy contact with the doctors. They tried a morphine drip that had no effect and a fentanyl patch that was very nice, but that they were afraid she'd become too codependent on.
It didn't really matter because Mal was rarely awake to feel anything now. A single kick sent her out into space. She was out cold so much that she began to wonder if she still counted as living.
The weeks crept by.
Ben got lonely, for which she felt bad. She tried to talk and be social when she was awake, but that was also when she was blind with pain and when they were trying to feed her to keep her alive. So it didn't make for the best time for conversation.
"Pregnancy is an awful idea," Mal decided to herself. "Who had the idea to carry something inside you anyway? We should just lay eggs and be done with it."
"Do you want me to answer that?" Ben asked before she was sent unconscious again.
At some point, she came to with the morphine drip back in again and two or three patches on her arms. She couldn't tell exactly – one might be a bandage. Ben had washed her hair at some point and was braiding it back now. She put her hand upon his cheek. "What year is it?" she asked.
His laugh was far too warm for her skin. "You're almost there. Right at thirty-five weeks. You did it, baby." He kissed her cheek. "The doctor will be here soon. I was hoping you would wake up so you could tell us what you want."
"What I want?" Mal asked. "What, is getting the baby out an optional thing? Obviously, I want to keep being pregnant for fifteen more years."
He laughed again, kissed her cheek again. "Oh, I missed you."
She played with the hair on his neck, as much as she could reach. "It's almost over. I'm going to come back now."
Someone knocked on the door. Mal realized that Evie and Belle were in the room, at the foot of the bed and hovering while they waited. Evie went to the door and opened it. Lumiere was standing with Doctors Brown, Holt, and Horsley. They entered and Mal felt the relief wash through her. Oh, bless. Finally over.
The baby kicked but it didn't send her into blackness. Haha! She had conquered. Yes with the help of heavily addictive narcotics, but conquered all the same.
"Alright, let's get this done, and let's get this done without permanent damage," Doctor Holt said.
"Sounds like a plan," Mal agreed.
"How do we go about this?" Ben asked. He moved from behind her and laid her back down on the pillows. Mal took his hand.
Doctor Holt held up two silver packets. "This usually does the trick," he said. "Prostaglandin. It's about seven a.m… this takes a while to become fully effective, but we're going to put you on a different type of IV around lunch that should finish the job."
"So the baby will be here before two?" Mal asked.
"No, your labor will have been induced by two. Generally, these drugs do help speed things up." Doctor Holt took a seat beside Mal and patted her knee twice. "I had my doubts but there's light at the end of the tunnel. After today, it's all over."
Her left eye burned and a tear escaped. She quickly wiped it away and sighed. "Sorry, pain," she said. The resounding laughs sounded more like sighs of relief.
Doctor Horsely examined the patches up her arm with tight lips. "High dosage," he said.
"She tried a few weeks ago and it was the only thing to take the edge off," Ben explained. "I did some math – she's lost a lot of weight but this should be okay to help keep her conscious and not let her overdose. I mean, I'm not a doctor, but-"
"Close enough," Mal whispered. "It works. I'm awake and not blind."
"Why not a c-section?" Evie asked. "You wouldn't have had to wake her up at all."
"I recommended a natural birth so we wouldn't have to cut her open again. I wasn't sure what it would do to her nerves," Doctor Horsley said. "Plus… the castle doesn't quite have everything needed to safely perform one and your guards were rather adamant about her not leaving."
"In my defense, I tried to defend," Ben said.
Mal squeezed his hand once in appreciation. "Not your fault," she said. "You would have gotten rid of them all if you could have." He squeezed back.
"Open," Doctor Holt requested. He put a tablet on her tongue. "We'll give you another in a half hour and that's all you can have with your weight. This should hopefully break your water and start your contractions."
Mal glanced down at the patches on her arm. "You sure I can't have any more of these?" she whispered.
"You'll probably need a rehab class as it is," Ben sighed. "Sorry, Darling."
"Maybe we ought to move her?" Evie asked. "I dunno… is the bed the best place?"
"How large is the bathroom?" Doctor Holt asked. He walked around the bed and peered in. "Ah, yes, let's lay some medical sheets down in here. There's plenty of room we can work on her."
Ben, Doctor Brown, Doctor Holt, And Doctor Horsley all got up and began rearranging things. Hiding things like the bathrobes and shampoos and soaps out of reach while laying down towels and sheets and old blankets. Mal leaned her head back as Evie and Belle hovered closer to her. "Evie, I hate you," she mumbled. "You got to do this in the hospital."
"Well, I hate you too. They wouldn't give me opioids."
Mal stuck her tongue out. Belle and Evie laughed softly. Belle ran a hand over Mal's forehead. "You're almost there," she whispered. "We've been saying it for a while now, but it's true. You're really almost there."
"Thanks, Belle."
Mal scratched at the sheets a little and found Belle's soft hands beside her thigh. She twined their fingers together and sighed. Her heart felt fast. She was actually a little scared.
"I'm back." Ben appeared, sleeves rolled up and looking perfect. How did he do that? There must be some curse or hex involved. Belle and Evie moved and Ben scooped his arms underneath her and picked her up to his chest. He barely reacted to the weight – geesh, she must be seriously starved. Mal gasped when her spine shifted and everything vanished. She clamped down on her lip.
Pain, pain, pain and the churning and burning and the freezing flashes of panic. She balled her fists up in Ben's shirt and fought the pain – the panic seizing her mind.
Something inside her released and the pain increased tenfold. Ben cursed – probably a shock to everyone in the vicinity.
"That would be her water," Doctor Brown said helping lay her down. "Didn't expect it to be so soon – the pain and distress must have-"
"Forget that, fetch the IV," Doctor Horsely demanded. He was trying to arrange rolled towels under her back in a way that would cause the least amount of pain. "Okay, Mal, on a scale from one to ten-"
"She's in pain," Ben cut him off. "I can't give her another patch. What do we do?"
"I-I-I can deal with it," Mal gasped. She still hadn't let go of his shirt. She could feel him leaning over her, panicking. "Not much longer… not much longer."
"Actually, birth can last hours, sometimes-"
"That's right, Mal," Belle said above everyone else. "You're almost there. Not much longer." She pulled Mal's hands off Ben's shirt and held on tightly. "Ben, honey, it might be time for you to step out."
"Step out!" Mal's eyes flew open. She could feel her pupils dilating and her eyes bugging out from the pain. "Wait, where are you going?"
"Shh." Belle squeezed harder. "Honey, the kings don't stand in on births. It's tradition. He'll just be outside." She nodded at Ben to get gone.
"No, no-" Mal choked and began full-out crying. Green eyes and pearlescent tears that scorched her tortured skin. She'd held it all in for so long and it was too much now. "Ben, please don't go. Please don't-"
"It's an antiquated tradition – I can stay. It doesn't matter." Ben took her other hand, leaning down, and kissed her cheek.
"You're supposed to, Ben. That's why we're here." Evie began trying to pry Mal's fingers off of Ben. Mal sobbed and sobbed. An IV was slipped into the arm Belle was holding and a wave of grinding pain made her throw her head back and scream. Evie finally wrenched Mal's fingers free and put her hand in Ben's place. "Go out into the hall. We'll take care of her. Promise."
"Maybe I should stay. The courts won't mind forever and it really is an old-"
"Benjamin, outside, now," Belle commanded. "There are too many people in this room and we already agreed you were going to follow the rules."
Mal peeked out one eye and watched Ben step backward, out of the room. The pain wasn't just in her stomach and spine anymore. Mal's heart ached as he disappeared behind a doctor. When the next wave of pain came, she didn't even have the strength to hold back the scream. So much for being strong. So much for dealing with things.
"Please go get him," Mal begged Evie. "Please, I need him bad."
"It's just for a bit," Evie soothed. "You can do this. He's just outside. He's not really gone."
"Evie, I don't want you here!" Mal howled. "Go get Ben – I want you to go away so I can have Ben."
"Love you too," Evie replied dryly. Mal collapsed into more sobs, then screamed when the pains began again. Both Evie and Belle continued holding her hand and Mal made sure to crush Evie's as hard as she could – blasted best friend.
"She's going to pass out again," One doctor said to another. "The pain's too much."
"Get her to talk to you."
"Mal, honey, where's the pain the worst?"
"In my heart that's shriveling up because my best friend is a back-stabbing, baseless, b-"
"The physical pain, Mal!"
"Is it that big of a deal?" the second doctor said to the first. "Can she really not have her husband?"
"The court is full of old coots who like to pick on stupid things. She'll thank us when this is over."
The pain wave ended and Mal's head dropped back. "I hate you," she gasped. "I hate you so much. You're awful."
Evie patted her forehead with a wet cloth. "That's just the pain talking," she said. "I've been there. I know."
"You had Doug with you, you menac-" She threw her head back and screamed. Her ears rang. The back of her eyelids turned white. She felt things shut down. The feeling in her feet and hands, her focus on the current take, everything.
Consciousness began to swim. Faces floated in front of her. Evie… Doctor Holt… Belle… Murmurs and whispers and frantic plans she wasn't going to be awake to hear. "I want Ben," she mumbled, voice cracked and splintered and hoarse.
Evie mumbled some wistful excuse. Mal's eyes stopped seeing, even though she hadn't closed them yet. Darkness reigned over her. With the last of the senses she had left, she spat out: "I will never forgive you."
A little shorter than normal and a little more repetitive than I usually try to be. At least the wit is good. I'll do better next time. Sorry!