Chapter Eleven

The 9th Life Is The Last One

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Dean felt the tug on his leg and no amount of thrashing and flailing would keep him afloat, pulled down at incredible speeds to face the gigantic monster again. He clutched as his mouth to keep what air he was allowed to hold in. No telling if the monster would let him go this time. He was pushed and prodded by huge fingers until he was laying more or less on his back in the clawed hands, forced to look at his captor and take in the terrifying sight before him.

His face grew hot and he knew he should have practiced holding his breath more, because he was nowhere near the 3 minute mark that humans could do. He could hold it for two at his best time. He did not want to find out how long it would be before it ran out this time. His eyes rolled as the air grew stale in his lungs far faster than normal, no doubt from the stress. The giant being brought its long tail up and overhead and his blurry eyes were drawn to the unique shape. For a minute, he thought it was a different creature altogether, but his eyes trailed the ship sized tail down past the hands that held him, towards the human-like torso in front of him. All the while those weird wing like things moved around behind it, probably keeping it in place. It would be so fascinating to him if he wasn't just about to die.

Dean had to assess the trouble he was in if he hoped to get out of this. What weaknesses could he exploit in the next dwindling minute to get him away from it. He was coming up with absolutely nothing as the humongous being stared in a wide eyed trance at him. Dean couldn't see as well underwater so it was all a blur to him, the movements too huge to focus on for long in any case. Just that it was something that was living, and far bigger than anything he'd ever seen or heard about before. Including nearly all of the dinosaur eras. What the hell is this thing?

A quick look down showed what had tugged him underwater by his leg. From his knee to his ankle was tangled in the ropes that he'd left laying out on the deck when he was still aboard his ship. Cursing himself out for the negligence on his part but putting it aside with the new horrible thought that it wouldn't have mattered anyway. This monster could easily pluck him from the surface as easily as picking up a deck of cards. Dean was so small compared to this thing. The end of the rope was twined around one of the clawed thumbs and it didn't look like that was an accident. Tied to the beast.

The air in his lungs was very uncomfortable but no amount of squirming and struggling would make the monster let him go. He knew this. It gripped him around the middle securely and pulled him towards the main bulk of it. All the while making deafening sounds with its mouth. Clicking and whistling and growling in what he could only assume was the things way of speaking but it meant nothing to Dean. He was pressed firmly into unyielding flesh and he felt his ribs creak inside him at the pressure being put on his helpless body. Gripping his mouth with both hands even harder as it threatened to make him loose his air. A nudge from a thumb as big as his torso finally pushed him past his limits and the air left him in a fatal rush. He gasped in shock and inhaled water and kept on inhaling it. It burned like fire in his lungs and he felt himself convulsing, struggling desperately to breathe again. Begging to be let go, taken back to the surface. To live.

Finally all the squirming must have alerted the thing to his plight because it pulled Dean away from his chest area. Holding him with the bloody hand as it looked at Dean worriedly. Dean's air was long gone and he couldn't help scratching at his throat and chest, hoping against hope that the half human shaped monster would realize he needed air to live but it just kept on making sounds at him. Clearly confused.

Dean's vision got even worse as water invaded every part of his airways, his nose, lungs, throat, hell, even his stomach as it roiled as well. His mind was blanking out and vision going to black as his insides burned like fire. Finally, sensations were dulling in his body as it started to shut down. Calming the fire and replacing it with numbness. He was lightheaded and only vaguely realized that the creature looked scared all of the sudden. A passing thought of how glad Dean was that he wouldn't be alive when this thing inevitably decides to eat him. Another worried thought for the poor bastards that might come looking for him. Answering the SOS he sent out.

Fuck.

Once this monster gets a taste for humans... it might never stop. From this brief interaction, it was clear to Dean that the thing hadn't seen a human before. But, it's not like it mattered now. Dean's mind was fogging over into the black nothingness, and he had one last thought. A fleeting feeling that this had happened before. A notion that he had died before today, many times. He let it linger in his head for these last few seconds. Wondering if he'll get one more chance.

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His death was painless at least.

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Dean floated in limbo.

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He was surprised as hell that he could be surprised as hell. Thoughts were clamoring for attention but he had no way of sorting through them. No body to house a brain with synapses and electrical impulses. So... why, or rather, how was he able to think at all right now?

Dean sensed another presence close by. A being that was immensely sad, in unnamable agony. He felt a little bad for whoever it was and wished that he was in a better place to help it out. As it was, Dean didn't think he had a body here, and that kind of puts a hindrance on hugging and consoling them.

There was a strange kind of connection he could sense coming from the sad being. Like he'd been summoned to it. Or, maybe something else was doing the summoning. Dean scoffed. He didn't believe in the afterlife. Of the stories he'd heard from somewhere about some great big guy in the clouds that shepherded all souls to paradise. It was too good to be true. He got the feeling that he should know better now... but that was insane. Right? There were other thoughts rushing to him, a great spirit that was different enough from the first idea, but similar in that there was a benevolent being that was looking out for all souls. Another idea of a never-ending loop where souls would just travel from one life to the next to the next again until they learned all they could. Or maybe they never got off the loop. Maybe they just lost their minds and had to relearn everything all over again. For all eternity.

Dean was scared that the last one was something closer to the truth, in his case at least.

Maybe... it wasn't one thing versus another, but a different way of looking at things as they are. If there was a group of people witnessing one event, they'd come back with just as many different takes on it, depending on their own past experiences. What if it all was true. Dean's confusion made him sever that line of thought. Feeling like he's getting far too deep on something that was quite simple. Trying to over-explain it. He took a moment for himself to calm the thoughts and take note of what's happening now.

It seems that 'now' isn't exactly 'now' though. Time doesn't really seem to be moving for him or that other being that he's still feeling close by. At least, time doesn't seem to be ticking as fast as he was used to for either of them. Dean was able to think somewhat calmly about what's going on now that he's letting himself relax.

He remembers dying. Drowning. So that means he's dead right now. Ok... Great. Well, not great, but at least he knows what happened. He can work with that. Alright. Fact number one; he died. Fact number two; there was some giant monster thing that was holding him underwater. A giant asshole that couldn't or wouldn't understand him. That he needed air to live. That he didn't want to be grabbed and toyed with. Fact number three? His death will probably be put down as an accident at sea or an unsolved mystery. A cautionary tale about having someone sail solo after such a short period of time between getting a boat and putting it in the water, hoping a long trip would be cake. Maybe Dean should have had a partner on the boat. Hired someone to go with him. Or hell, offer up a free trip to some random person just for the company and extra pair of hands and eyes. If he had that, he might have avoided this whole mess, sailing day and night instead of stopping overnight. Maybe someone that knew what they were doing and might have had half a plan when the shit hit the fan. Or. He could have ended up damning them along with him.

Dean decided that it was best he was alone at the time.

That being said, a pretty big kick in the pants is that Dean finds a massive new species of whatever the fuck that thing was, and it up and kills him before he can really tell anyone about it! A new discovery that could have changed how the world sees the ocean. Showing that there's always something new to learn about it. Since it looked eerily like a human for the top half, he's pretty sure now that all those 'fish tales' about mermaids are basically all confirmed. He could have exonerated all those poor sailors if he could have shown any evidence of that encounter to anyone. Of course, none of those stories mentioned that the mermaids were about 200 feet long and far scarier in person. Oh, and dudes on top of it all. He couldn't be killed by a hot mermaid, it just had to be a merdude that just needed a haircut.

Still, it would have been nice to show the world the truth. That less than a minute CB call to Bobby doesn't really count since Dean's pretty sure that Bobby didn't understand the full scope of what was going down. Of what attacked him and ultimately killed him. Its entirely possible that Bobby would mistake his frantic rantings as drunken paranoia and that Dean succumbed to cabin fever much faster than expected and ran aground on an uncharted underwater ridge or something. That in Dean's supposed drunken state, he mistook the ship hitting something underwater as a monster attacking him and tragically went down with the ship.

What pissed Dean off the most right now is that it had no problem with sinking his beloved hand made boat! He and Bobby spent a long ass time on her! Building her up and making her perfect and in less than one morning she was trashed and sinking to the bottom of the ocean. His ship was treated like a bath toy before that thing destroyed her with ease! Torn, shredded, clawed, crumpled, crippled, and finally sunk. His poor ship didn't deserve any of that. She was out on her maiden voyage and sunk right out from under him, nearly taking him with her from the whirpool vortex.

It wasn't until the last moments before his death did it look like the creature regretted his actions. Didn't help Dean out now, but, maybe the creature will learn from his mistake and not drown any more humans.

Unlikely, but, Dean can dream. He'd hate for innocent people to get sucked into this mess with him just because they were kindhearted enough to answer an SOS.

Dean contemplated all the events that transpired in his final moments after the ship went down. Coming to the conclusion that he couldn't have prevented much after that initial contact. When it spotted him, it was all over. He just didn't realize it at the time. He did everything right and still ended up dying. Maybe it was fate. He was supposed to die on the ocean for some reason. He had been drawn to it his whole life. Why? There were plenty of other ways to gank him if fate wanted him dead. Like, oh, say, some debilitating disease, or getting shot, or poisoning, or heat stroke, animal attack when he was a baby if fate didn't want to wait too long, or something more peaceful like forgetting to take his medicine and dying in his sleep, or... wait. That was oddly specific. Weird.

Another weird thing Dean is noticing is that the invisible being that's only sort of here with him now... kitty corner to his limbo, feels much much larger than him, and it is sad as hell. He almost forgot about it during his reminiscing and woe is me-ing. Negative feelings from the both of them swirling around the infinite place like a bad feedback loop. Surprisingly, it's lessening. Now that he's dead, the past is starting to feel less intense somehow. Like, Dean's starting to get that one death doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. But it also, uh, does in a way. It must mean something to that big being that's being all sad and shit over there.

Dean dared to think that it could possibly be the same creature that killed him. Size-wise it's the same but that could be his imagination. Hell, for all he knows, disembodied souls could be the size of basketballs. Tangent much? Come on Dean, death didn't make you stupid. That other being feels too big to be a fellow human, tiny soul or not, so it's probably that creature. Well good, the bastard should be sad he killed Dean. Dean didn't do jack shit to it and it went and sunk his boat and drowned him.

Dean forced himself to put that aside. It wasn't helping. It's done.

Dean was now getting the feeling that the giant being is making something that feels like suspiciously like plea bargaining. Begging. Dean tried to listen to the voice that wasn't really a voice and heard it begging for him to come back to life. Huh.

The more he's listening, the more familiar the voice gets. It sure seems like it knows Dean pretty damned well even if he doesn't remember it at all. Dean's pretty damned sure he'd remember a fucking huge ass sea creature that has the face and rough upper body of a human save for the coloring and gills, big ass wings, and oh yeah, a unique tail with large fins spaced out along the sides instead of the more traditional top and bottom fin placements of most eastern Pacific fish.

Dean pushed his geeky knowledge of sea-life out of his mind for now. The important thing is that he feels a connection to his murderer and it's almost like he should want to go back to it. He doesn't. Or does he? Can you get postmortem Stockholm syndrome?

The thing is sending out waves of distress, all coming in slow motion for Dean. One distraught feeling after another. It's mourning him. The thought makes Dean pause. It's mourning him as if he'd let Dean down before. That this wasn't the first time he was responsible for Dean's death. Well that's fucking weird and reassuring. Sure, go back to the thing that has a habit of killing him. Brilliant.

Dean could almost hear words in the anguish and guilt. Something about waiting another 9 months? What?

That idea about the afterlife started to make some sense to him now. He might be one of the poor bastards that's on that simple twisted loop. Forced to go from one life to another and another for all eternity.

Dean was starting to get real scared of the thought. What if he didn't want to go back? Would they make him anyway? That 'Great Spirit' and the old man in the clouds decide to just, shove him into another body?

Is this a joke?

Dean was angry at first at being toyed with like that, but then realized that that might not be the case right now. Otherwise he should be already on his way into another body right? His soul or whatever wouldn't be sitting here in the middle of nowhere worrying about shit that shouldn't matter to him. His soul should be whisked away right as his body died. So why the wait?

Dean had no answers. All he had was that other sad large being sending him a direct link into its feelings going on back to wherever or whenever it was located at. Dean suspected it was the living world he was tapping into through this strange link. The impression he's getting right now from it, are different than his. Dean's feelings don't seem to be as tethered down to one clear line of thought. His own emotions and thoughts seem to be going on different trails that are all more or less connected to himself but beyond that are swimming off in lala land. The world's trippy-est drug trip. If only all this could be attributed to hallucinogenics.

The other being is going from one intense emotion to another in a line. Living things do that better than dead ones apparently. Or at least, regarding Dean, at the moment.

Fuck.

Why the hell does the afterlife have to be so damned confusing? This is damn near torment!

Double Fuck. Is he in Hell? Is this Hell capital 'H'?

Less fire and brimstone, more, introspective nightmare? He'd joked before with Bobby a few times that he shouldn't be left in his own head, that it is a horror show in there. Dean didn't think it would be literal in the end.

He didn't really think existential thoughts when he was alive so Dean guessed he's making up for lost time. Coming to terms with being dead and what he has to do about it now. Well... he could just wallow in self pity for all eternity, listening to that other big being mope and cry for forever. Or... and here's the truly weird thought. What if he was allowed back? And not just like, back in a different body, but back to his own? There must be a reason for his soul to be still sitting here.

An overpowering wave of relief flowed through him, like someone he loves praising him for finally understanding a problem and knowing how to solve it.

It sent Dean for a loop. He had to metaphorically shake himself out before approaching that line of thought again. That relief turned suddenly to encouragement and once he got past the weird as all hell experience, he found himself liking the idea more and more. He could go back. He could go back to being alive. Without starting from scratch as a baby.

Damn.

The encouragement intensified and Dean felt like he was given a choice now. Sure, he could go back, but that might not mean that he wants to go back. He waited for the right answer from that third even larger entity that wasn't nearly as solidified as either himself or the big thing. Just like, there. All around him, infinitely patient and understanding. Forgiving him for taking so long. He risked calling it God. It didn't seem to object too much. That by itself was stupidly humbling.

Dean still felt like he should hurry up his decision. After all, it's not every day one encounters God and is given a choice to rise from the dead or not. He hastily nodded his metaphysical head. Hoping that was the right thing to do.

But they/he/she/it just tutted and insisted he think about it. That it was ok to take some time and marinate on it for a little while.

Dean internally sighed in relief and gathered himself again. Ok. He can do this. Apparently he's already done this before. It's not exactly like he remembers every moment of the past lives, Dean just senses that it had happened. A few times at least. Going mostly by that thought he had just before he died before. Not to mention the creature saying stuff like 'bring him back' and waiting for another 9 months.

He idly wondered how many times before, and got an instant answer back, 8.

8? What, really?

8. The benevolent thing he named as God chuckled.

Dean pouted for a moment at that. Feeling like he's being put on. Then he was hit with the memories of all 8 lives he's led. A mishmash of colors and sights and sounds all together. It was too much for him and then just as suddenly as it started it stopped with a feeling of apology washing over and through him right afterwards. For overwhelming the poor little soul.

After a quiet moment Dean nodded to himself. Ok. 8. So, does that mean that this will be his nine lives and after this he's done?

They sent him a considering thought and suggested that it could be his ninth and done if he wanted it to be his ninth and done. Which wasn't very helpful but he wasn't about to point that out.

Dean turned his attention back to the morose mother fucker that killed him and sighed. What does he have to lose? He's dead now and in a minute he doesn't have to be. He could go back just long enough to flip the bird that sea monster and die again when it realizes what the intention for that rude hand gesture is. Heh. Ok, that sounds like a big beautiful and dumb plan.

Funnily enough, the benevolent being snickered at that as well. At least they have a sense of humor. He was glad for that. If Dean decided to stay dead, it would suck spending eternity with something that doesn't get jokes. Of course Dean wont flip off the giant sea creature. Even if it would be damned satisfying. It wouldn't solve anything.

Dean wants to go back to being alive so he can go back home. To tell Bobby NOT to come looking for him and get caught by the sea creature as well. All he has to do is get back to his old body and he's confident he'll figure out a way to get the message to Bobby. Saving his friend is now number one top priority to him. Bobby wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with a sea monster. Dean needs to do everything he can to save his surrogate father.

Dean turns his mind back to Them and shouts 'yes'.

It gives the impression of a satisfied nod and then a warning that if he's sent back as he was, then he would just die again because his body had been pulled down to the bottom of the ocean. If the pressure doesn't kill him right away, the long swim back to the surface with no air in his lungs will. He can't make it.

Dean's heart sinks. He turns an accusing metaphorical glare up and around. Why the hell was he given a choice if there was no choice at all?!

There was a silence that engulfed him and he immediately regrets mouthing off. Convinced his soul's about to be squashed or eaten or something.

After a long time, the answer came to him, patiently as if speaking to a young child.

Dean will have to change in more ways than one, in order to survive underwater at those depths. That it was always possible with the right circumstances, but, it wont be easy.

The first requirement wasn't to have Dean decide if he wanted to go back. That was surprisingly third. The first thing that had to happen, is his body had to be able to adapt and transform to survive in the deeps. It had to be given the right compatible biological material to change his DNA. It was in the blood.

Dean suddenly realized that both of their blood had mingled when the thing killed him. A random memory ages ago with him and a fellow young schoolmate becoming 'blood brothers' when they shook bloodied hands. He was going to be blood brothers with his killer. Awesome.

Dean remembered back to his studies, learning about how octopus's can actually change their own RNA with ease. This must be something similar. Something in that sea creature's genetic makeup.

Dean was given a break and let in on a little trade secret from Them.

That monster wasn't just some random predator. It was special. One of the direct biological lines to the First ones. Back when living organisms from the sea decided to check out dry land and evolve legs for getting around better. Spending ages apart, but still somehow connected biologically to their shared roots. The fins on the side of the tail were now used for helping it scoot along land. Slowly turning to toes with the tail splitting into legs and feet over countless ages.

Things that live in the deep ocean rarely have to change their bodies to fit their environment. Their environment hardly ever changes. Cold, dark, low oxygen, and thermal vents spewing up a cocktail of chemicals from even deeper under the earth. It was a conundrum. Why did that sea creature look like a human? Dean thought humans evolved from apes. But perhaps, that's not going back far enough or maybe someone just made a few assumptions. Just because two things look alike, doesn't mean they shared a common ancestor. Dean felt like his head was going to explode. He was given ideas and 'what if's' and then slapped with some facts.

Humans did not come from apes. They came almost directly from the sea. Specifically, these gigantic sea monsters a long ass time ago. Apes just so happened to evolve from other creatures that came on land much much earlier than humans. Turning into vertebrates, insects, dinosaurs, birds, then finally mammals. Taking the long way round. Humans and apes were not the same. They both simply adapted over time, to the same environments and therefore look alike. The Mers turned land dwellers couldn't find as plentiful and easy to reach food as they could underwater where it was abundant, so their size dwindled down drastically as their appendages adapted for life with more intense gravity. Staying as small or even smaller than their former offspring's size out of necessity. Some Mers couldn't hack it above water and returned below and created a more diverse genetic background for Mers. Resulting in all of the differences one sees even in the same family. Fin placement, size, shape, all spliced and mixed and mutating and changing to create beautiful diversity.

Dean's attention was pulled back to show the reason they were forced up and out. Some sort of war that happened in the deeps. It lasted ages and the victors claimed the deeps and drove the losers towards the surface and beyond. The final push. Basically saying, 'get out and stay out'.

If the losers of the wars were allowed to remain in the ocean, they'd be a constant threat. That made sense in a strange way to Dean. Why would they willingly leave the oceans unless they were forced out. Driven from every inch of their territories. The losing side had to evolve, adapt, or die.

What the winning side didn't know is that the losers would eventually grow in numbers and populate the dry world above with billions and billions of offspring that were clever enough to keep on adapting. But this time, adapting their own environment instead of the other way around. What was that saying? Necessity is the mother of all invention?
Whether humans knew it or not, they were encouraged and pushed into becoming the top dominant species on Earth for survival. And decided they liked it at the top. Meanwhile the Mers sat in their deeps, rarely changing, rarely evolving. Stuck in the belief that change is bad. And it's quickly becoming their downfall as human's territories stretch to all corners of the world.

Mind. Blown.

Some of Dean's research helped him out with these new revelations. Books on sea life that showed grotesque animals that live where there's no light. Unchanged for eons. They more or less stayed the same in shape, but not necessarily in size. Meanwhile land creatures had to fight all kinds of obstacles to survive. The weather, food sources, the environment. Staying small out of necessity while the ones underwater weren't restrained by gravity as much and were allowed to grow to enormous sizes.

Dean was given a kind of cliff notes version of the history of Earth beyond the Mers and humans. Just enough to let him know that it is possible for him to adapt very fast. Hours instead of eons. That it was in his blood too and not just the sea creature's.

They paused just long enough in explaining to kindly informed him to stop referring to the sea creature as a sea creature. That it was a Mer. Dean wasn't ready to call it that. Still thinking of the little mermaid and not yet ready to call that killer a damned mermaid, or merman or whatever. Mer wasn't even the right original title but it beat being called a creature. A step in a more dignified direction. They shrugged and continued.

Because of the spiritual bond to the Mer, it will also help his mind come back too, so he's not a lump of living tissue with no previous memories of his own. Tying his mind, soul, and body back together.

Dean wanted that run by him again. He had a spiritual bond to the monster?

Not a monster either, but, Yep.

Great. Dean would have rolled his eyes but that would be disrespectful to Them so he refrained. Listening to what They have to say.

The key here is the blood. It was compatible. It just so happened, that Dean had been scratched by the Mer during the attack. Opening up his insides to the outside. This is usually a very bad thing but in this extremely rare situation, it was a good thing.

Dean distantly recalled that there was a ton of blood in the water, but he thought that it was all his. But no, he remembered seeing blood on the creature's hand first. It had cut itself on his ship before it grabbed him.

Something in the blood? He asked Them and got an affirmative back.

The Mer's blood and subsequent genetic material mingled with his own when it held onto Dean as he lay dying. He was then informed that after he passed out from drowning but not yet dead, that the Mer lifted him up out of the water in the hopes that he'll start breathing again. Dean didn't know that.

That was the second lucky break and required event. The two bloods were able to be transferred without dissipating in the water first. It was accidentally rubbed into Dean's wounds and his body took it in even as he was dying. The process of transformation was put on hold because Dean had died died.

But. Now he was given another chance. The first three criteria met, Dean's body needed to be compatible and able to adapt, check, the two bloods needed to mingle and start changing the body, check, Dean's soul had to want to go back, check. Now? Last step is all on the effort he's willing to put into it. He would have to fight like hell when his soul is reunited with his body again. Not giving into the pain of transformation for a second. Needless to say, it wont be easy. He'll have to fight to live.

Dean was nervous. Could he do this? Would his body just, know what to do?

He was assured that he didn't have to know a lick of biological science for it to work. Nature was on his side this time. Nature wants the reunion of land and sea to happen and it had to wait a very very long time for this. For happenstance and a bond that spanned centuries. The catalyst for healing the world's oceans. That thought was quickly pulled completely away from Dean before it even solidified in his mind. Like it was showing him too much too fast. An apology of sorts for an unintentional guilt trip. It wasn't Dean's fault that the oceans are polluted. Dean didn't have a chance to ruminate on that bit of info, still contemplating this whole, come back from the dead and transform into something new, thing.

Dean was thrown by how much was laid at his feet. They hoped this would happen. For the events to align before it was too late.

Dean could just as easily say no, and Nature would have to take a powder for God knows how long for another opportunity to arise. An the kicker is that no one would be upset.

It was Free Will.

Dean could still change his mind right here and now and they'd let him stay dead. Resting in peace. His soul going to Heaven instead of back to Earth for another reincarnated life, if he so chose.

Funny enough, just given a choice was all the convincing Dean needed to put aside his fears and give a wholehearted answer of YES to the request.

He will go back and his body will change and he will have a second chance at life. This life. Not some new one or other. The brief flashes of his old lives coming to the fore in his head but he pushed it aside. He'll think about that later. Right now, he's got some evolving to do, and a sea creature to cuss out.

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I'm Ready.

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Good Luck.