Chapter 11

"Her absence was a presence. Who knew an empty space could take up so much room?"

~Jacqueline Simon Gunn

Harry pressed on the buttons of the elevator and it closed after him. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he sighed, flashing back to when he rode the elevator with Astrid the first time. The extreme tension and discomfort from her side had made him feel disappointed about their working relationship, and it was the reason he'd chosen to reach out to her and change that. Although he was very hesitant towards the idea before, it turned out to be the best decision he'd made in a long time.

He loved every single moment he'd spent with her. They hadn't parted ways on good terms in the past, but they still talked like all that drama never happened. They'd decided to reminisce about the good times and avoid the awkwardness of revisiting the bad ones. He'd noticed that the more time he spent with her, it just made him yearn for more. From teasing her to making her smile, it all just seemed so addicting. He hadn't realized how much her presence meant to him, not until he returned to work from Zia's school and realized that she wasn't kidding about her resignation. Her decision was solid, and she'd really just walked out of his life.

'Ugh! Think Harry! What did you say? What did you do?!'

None of this would have happened if he'd just stayed away from work that day! He hadn't intended to be there in the first place, but he'd been too ashamed to face Camilla, considering he'd previously forgotten about her anniversary. It seemed like he was moving on from her too fast, but he also couldn't deny his feelings for Astrid, and that was why he'd been so angry at himself. Harry never expected that his feelings for her would resurface at her return, so he never held back or built any walls either. He'd been too engrossed in her presence to even think about it.

The doors of the elevator opened at the ground floor and Harry walked out of it. He hadn't thought about how he was going to explain this to Zia. He wasn't going to turn down her random requests to see Astrid because he somehow relied on them as excuses, but he didn't know how to dissolve that bond before it became too late. They could be just close now, but it would lead to Zia wanting more from that, especially after making that Christmas wish.

Thinking about his actions now, it was pretty ridiculous how he'd been so worried about getting with someone who might neglect his daughter but then chose to overlook the one person who loved and cared so much about her. Now he had to somehow pull the two apart without hurting Zia in the process.

Finally walking out of the main exit of the building, he walked towards his car that had been driven out of the lot by his driver. He'd texted him previously to drive him home this time as he hoped to get some kind of information from him. His mother had told him about his driver's help in getting him home that night, so maybe he was aware of the events and could tell him something.

He slid into the back seat of his car and nodded to his driver to go ahead. He was a little embarrassed, knowing that he'd seen Harry at his worst state, and wondered if he still had any respect left for him after that.

"Uhm...My...secretary...did you...drive us home last night?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I just wanted to ask, did you...walk into my office? Or did she meet you at the entrance?" Harry asked, noticing the instant change in his expression and obvious discomfort in his reaction.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I walked in because she needed help getting you home."

"That's okay." Harry shrugged. "Did you...notice anything different about her when you walked in?"

"Different...Sir?"

Harry immediately cringed when he replayed his words in his head. Was it the structure of the question, or was it the question itself? It just sounded so silly, but he just had to give a reply amid the embarrassment.

"Uhm...I know I was drunk, but did I do something...you know...weird?" He wished he'd planned this a little better in his head before letting it out. It would have been a lot easier than it presently seemed.

"You were just reluctant to go home, Sir, because of your daughter."

"Was that all?"

"Uh...yes Sir."

"And my secretary? Did you notice anything odd about her? Please tell me the truth."

"I...I noticed...you both were having a conversation…"

Harry jolted, leaning forward in anticipation. This is exactly what he was hoping for, something to explain the reason for Astrid's resignation. "I was talking to her?"

"Yes, Sir."

"While I was drunk?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you hear anything?"

"I'm sorry, I honestly don't know, I didn't hear anything from the conversation." He replied, and Harry's shoulder dropped, a little frustrated. At Least he was convinced that he'd said something that triggered her decision.

"But I did notice...that she was crying."

Harry's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. "She was...crying? Why? What did I say to her?"

"I wish I knew, Sir, but I really don't."

He fell backwards, sighing deeply in worry and concern. He hadn't just said something he shouldn't have, he also hurt her enough to make her cry and make her leave. Did he bring up their past? It could be a valid possibility. Since her return, he'd been careful to avoid revisiting the events of their breakup and how much she hurt him that day. His vulnerable state at that point could have triggered him to talk to her about it and that was the only explanation he could come up with.

How could he have been so careless?! He knew that she'd been guilty about it since she started working with him. He knew she'd been overworking and putting in the effort to prove herself to him, to earn his forgiveness. He'd told her she didn't need to, and that he'd let go of the past. He had, and if he held any slight resentment towards her, it was because he used it as an excuse to stay loyal to his promise to Camilla.

Astrid did nothing wrong. She'd changed a lot and he knew it. She wasn't that self-absorbed cheerleader anymore, she'd been there for him and his daughter and had somehow made him fall in love with her again. He couldn't just walk away again this time, he also couldn't let her walk away. He needed to correct his words, fix their friendship and come clean about the truth.

"Is there...a problem, Sir?"

"No...I was just curious, that's all."

"Spread out the roots first before you put it in."

"Like this?" Astrid pulled out the flower gently from the pot but shrieked when it slipped from her grip. Molly caught it before it hit the floor, both women bursting into a pearl of laughter. "Oh my gosh, I almost screwed it up."

Molly carefully pulled out the root strands apart from each other, giggling in response. "That's okay, you haven't tried it in a long time."

"Is the potting soil really necessary?"

"Haha, really Astrid? Of course, it is.

They'd spent the entire afternoon in her father's garden, just like they used to before she had Neil. The garden was beautiful. Tall green apple trees ran through at the far right corner, casting a lake of claw shadows onto the grass. In autumn, it was usually the fiery brilliance of their leaves is a sight: scorching-oranges, burning-browns and molten-reds that often drifted to the ground as silently and carelessly as an ash cloud, settling into their eternal rest. She'd raked them earlier with Molly, and her son Neil helping the little way he could.

The flowers held the major beauty of the garden, tulips, lilies, daisies, sunflowers, and even daffodils which were Astrid's favourite. Her father and Molly had done a pretty great job maintaining it consistently, even without professional help. She'd decided to help her step-mother plant in a few more and bond with her during her little vacation with them.

"Mummy, mummy! Look it's a butterfly!" Neil pointed towards a corner of the garden that held a rosebed of sunflowers. She immediately glanced towards that direction and spotted the butterfly that caught his attention, pollinating the flowers. She smiled, a little amused at his excitement. "What's it doing mummy?"

"Well, what do you think it's doing, baby?"

"It likes flowers."

"It does like the flowers, you're right."

"Why do butterflies like flowers, Neil?" Molly asked, and Astrid chuckled, completely interested in hearing his answer.

"Because they're pretty."

Astrid and Molly laughed, Neil's innocence was something she wished she could hold onto forever, but he was certainly going to grow up and possibly start raising debatable arguments, and throwing tantrums at her. She would never be ready for those changes.

"Well...you're not wrong tho."

"Should I get it for you, mummy?"

"Do you think you can get it for me? It's not easy to catch a butterfly, Neil."

"It's getting away!" He exclaimed as he pointed towards the butterfly, watching it closely with a bright smile on his face.

"See? I told you."

"So...how is the job hunt process going, Astrid? Have you found any luck so far?"

"Yeah, I landed an interview yesterday. It was scheduled for Monday next week." Astrid cleared the smaller debris from another spot she'd chosen to plant with a hand rake, making sure she'd gotten rid of large stones and pines. "Dad helped a whole lot."

"That's great. What about your previous job? If the young man who had dinner with us the other day was your boss, then there's no way he could have gotten you fired." Molly said, causing Astrid to smirk, but give her a quizzical glance.

"Why do you say that? He just might not be as good as he appears to be...plus firing me wouldn't make him a bad person either, he's got the right to do that. He was my boss."

Molly rolled her eyes. "But he didn't...right?"

"Dad told you, didn't he?"

"No, I figured it out on my own." She handed the pot plant to her. "I mean the way he looked at you that night, there's no way he'd be the one to let you go."

The pot fell from Astrid's grip, but Molly laughed, gently picking up the plant. Astrid stared at her in shock, a bit guilty that she wasn't still comfortable enough to let Molly into that aspect of her life. Molly had still been patient, wanting so dearly to be closer as a mother to Astrid, but also respecting the limits and caring. She'd hoped her parents hadn't gotten the wrong idea about Harry's visit, so it was quite surprising that she'd still been able to pick that up even without knowing the previous history between them. It was either that or Harry was just that obvious, after all, his employees had also noticed and said the same thing.

"He wasn't just my boss, he's also my ex." Astrid swallowed hard, lowering the plant into the raked spot after spreading out its roots. "The guy I used to date in high school before I met Stanley."

"Well, your father told me that." She smiled, "He also took me through the pictures in your album."

"Such a traitor." Astrid shook her head. "He's hidden my album from me so I wouldn't take it away from him. He knows that is his only means to blackmail me."

"Come on, you're not his little girl anymore...let him have the pictures to keep the memories alive. I'm sure he just misses you."

"Yeah, right."

"So why did you resign, Astrid? Were you uncomfortable working with him or…"

"I was at first, but then we became friends and things changed."

"That sounds good. What was the problem then?"

"The problem was…" She glanced at Molly and bit her lower lip. "I fell in love with him again."

"And why is that a problem? It's quite normal for the feelings you both had to resurface...I just don't see why it should be a problem to the point of resigning."

"He is a widower, Molly."

"I know that."

"And he isn't ready to…"

"To move on?"

"Yeah."

She chuckled softly, watering the plant Astrid had just put into the soil. "Well, that sounds insanely familiar."

Astrid smiled. She hadn't acknowledged the fact that Molly was the only one who'd been in her shoes, and could understand her situation. The only difference was that Molly had it a lot worse than she did. Her father and birth mother had grown up together as best friends, became high school sweethearts and he'd loved her all of his life. He'd lost a fraction of his heart and soulmate, and that was the reason why he'd never moved on from her death for twenty-five years.

Molly had been in her father's life for six years, three years before they got married, and even if he'd been in love with her then, it took him a whole year to accept it, and another year to do something about it. He'd also been worried about Astrid's opinion of a second marriage the same way Harry was about Zia but failed to understand that she'd always wished for a new partner for him.

Molly was also a single mother like her with a son, Freddie who lived in Oregon. Astrid's step-brother was one of the many reasons she'd been excited about her father's marriage to Molly. Freddie was the spitting image of his mother and also shared a lot of similarities with her in his personality. He was humble, soft-spoken and had absolutely no problems getting along with her family, and it made her question the reason why he was still single.

Unlike her father, and like Astrid, Molly had also been through a few failed relationships and marriages, even to the point that she'd decided to never consider it an option until she met her father. Astrid didn't even know the details of how they met or developed that bond, because she'd been too focused on her staggering relationship with Stanley, but she knew it took a lot of time and work from both parties to embrace their love for each other.

She was going through the same issue with Harry, but they just weren't as stubborn as her father and Molly had been. She and Harry never built walls within their friendship, they never even set boundaries, and were both aware of how they felt towards each other. Maybe age had a role in it, maybe her father had already gotten so used to being alone, that loneliness wasn't even an issue for him. Harry on the other side was dying, and she knew that his constant willingness to be by her side was because of it. It was somehow endearing, but also a reason to step back. She didn't just want to be a cure to his loneliness, she wanted him to be with her because he loved her.

It was probably what Molly had been thinking when she rejected her father's first proposal. She'd been blind to it before, ranting, judging, and questioning Molly's true intentions, but wearing those shoes, it was all so clear now. It was also the reason why she'd chosen to resign from Harry's company.

"Yeah...you're right...it is."

"I honestly don't blame you for choosing to walk away. It would give you both time to think and figure out what's really important to you guys. The pain of the past? Or a future together."

Astrid noticed that her advice was a lot different and more relatable than her father's because Molly understood her pain having walked her shoes previously. She wondered what life was like for Molly getting married to her father, and if she'd ever been pressured into living up to the relationship he had with her mother.

"Do you ever...feel...compared? I'm sorry for asking this...I know it's a bit insensitive and you…" Astrid wished she'd just swallowed in her words before letting them out.

"No, It's alright. I was hoping you were gonna ask actually because I know that it's what scares you the most." Molly went on, with Astrid giving her her undivided attention. "The truth is...your father loves your mother so much. He loved her before he met me, and marrying me wasn't going to change that."

"Oh…" Astrid's gaze fell still feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Molly."

"For what? You didn't even let me finish talking."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, please go on."

"Your father wasn't supposed to stop loving her, Astrid, but it doesn't also mean that he loved me any less. All that mattered to me was that he didn't just love me, but accepted the changes, the differences and not once making me feel like I had anything to live up to or to prove."

"Then...why did you reject his proposal the first time?"

"Because I wasn't sure about it then. I still needed assurance that he didn't just want a wife, but a partner, a soulmate, a companion. Our relationship back then was quite unstable...sometimes he reached out, and sometimes he pulled back. I needed to be confident that if I did marry him, I would never have to worry about that again."

Astrid was dumbfounded. Molly had just entirely described her relationship with Harry, and the similarities almost scared her. It wasn't even about living up to Camilla, but about her experience dating him. He often reached out, and often pulled back. It was why she'd been so frustrated with his mixed signals and started doubting his feelings for her. It also hadn't helped that he never made them clear to her.

She didn't want to judge the outcome of a possible relationship again with him based on his attitude in the past, because he had changed quite a bit, but there was also a different kind of dilemma. Although they weren't even in a relationship yet, she felt like it would be a problem if they got into one. She hadn't thought about it until her conversation with him that night and even if he was drunk, she knew it was the truth.

'She was the one who stood with me when you chose to walk away, so I shouldn't be putting you first just because she's no longer with me.'

Those words were what hurt her the most and the driving force to her decision to leave his company. Her situation could also be quite worse than Molly's because even right now they already had issues with the past relationship they hadn't resolved or revisited and it already stood as a reason to feel like she had something to prove, something to make up for...a reason to be...compared.

"We can't be together, Molly."

"Why not? I didn't say all these to scare you, Astrid."

"Oh no no, you didn't. It's just that…I hurt him in the past and he brought it up again when I thought he'd moved on from it. I know he was drunk and it was his wife's anniversary, but Molly, do you think a relationship with him would work out? I just don't think he loves me to that extent...I don't think he's ready to let go."

"It's alright, Astrid. You don't need to overthink this or try to solve anything. It's not a puzzle, it's love. You don't go out looking for it, it finds its way to you, and if it's true...it would work out."

"I don't know Molly...I…"

"Don't worry about it...it'll be fine, trust me." Molly smiled, a bit amused at her sudden panic. "Come on, I think we're done here. Neil, honey let's go have dinner!"

"Yaay! Can I have mac and cheese, grandma?" Neil requested with excitement tugging on the hem of her skirt. She scooped him up, careful not to touch him with the dirty gloves. "I'm really hungry."

"You are always hungry, you cute baby bear." She kissed his cheek and he crackled in joy as they made their way into the house with Astrid trailing behind.

"Mummy your phone is ringing." Neil pointed towards her phone in her pocket, screen light flashing the caller ID. Astrid froze when she noticed the caller ID...Harry.

"Uhm..I'll join you guys inside in a minute...I just need to take this."

"Alright, dear." Molly went in with Neil in her arms and Astrid exhaled, her nerves suddenly tensed as she stared at his name, trying to decide between picking his call or ignoring it. She wasn't ready to talk to him, not after how he walked out on her at his office. It was the same way he'd walked out on her without saying a word, without saying goodbye. She'd expected him to be a lot more mature about her decision, even if he was against it, but no! He just walked out and she had every right to be mad at him.

It could also be his daughter, Zia. She was usually the one on the other end whenever she received a call from Harry and she and Harry had never done more than just text each other. She couldn't ignore the little girl, Astrid's problem was with her father and they couldn't drag their children into their issues. Taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves, she knew that this could lead to a possible conversation with Harry. She was willing to do it for his daughter because that little girl deserved the whole world and even more.

"Daddy!" Zia raced into Harry's open arms and he lifted her from the ground, throwing her in the air. "You came home before my bedtime again!"

"Of course, sweetheart! I promised you, didn't I?" Harry held her tight and spun her around slowly, she laughed loudly spreading her arms in the air and pretending to be flying. "Who's gonna turn six tomorrow, huh?"

"Me!"

"You're growing up too fast, Zia. Very soon you'll be seven, eight, nine, ten and then you won't be this little anymore. I wouldn't be able to lift you" He lifted her again and she squealed in joy. "Or read you bedtime stories."

"Why not? I would never get tired of your bedtime stories, daddy."

"Wait till you turn sixteen, you'll never believe you ever said this."

"Does growing up make you bad?"

Harry snorted, "Good question. I would ask you this when you're older, to see if you would give me an answer." He lowered her down to his bosom and kissed her cheek. "So, are you excited for your party? I got your dress already, did Nana tell you?"

She seemed surprised and ecstatic, revealing that she hadn't seen her dress yet. "Nana didn't tell me, dad. Is she hiding it from me?"

"No, she isn't hiding anything from you, Zia. She just doesn't want you to stay up late out of excitement." Vanessa Haddock interrupted joining both father and daughter in the living room. "Don't even ask for it cause I'm not gonna show you."

"Hi, mum."

"Please Nana. Daddy, please ask Nana to let me see my dress."

"Why should I ask her? You're the one who wants the dress, right?"

"Because she's your mummy. She'll listen to you."

Harry shook his head, staring at her in disbelief. "This girl."

"Go on, daddy...please ask her."

"Mum, was I this obnoxious as a child?"

"You were way worse." She replied and turned to Zia. "Why don't you wait till tomorrow and then you'll see your dress Zia...along with your presents."

"I just want to show it to Miss Astrid." She whined, drawing Harry's immediate attention. "I haven't invited her to my party yet."

"Uhm...Zia, that wouldn't be necessary, I already invited her to your party. Trust me, she'll be there to see you tomorrow." Harry chirped in, resulting in a cold glare from his mother who quickly understood what was going on.

"But I want to invite her myself, dad. I want to talk to her."

"Talk to her now? You're gonna see her tomorrow anyway."

"Please daddy, I want to talk to her."

"How can you even demand two things at a time, Zia? Do you want to see your dress or talk to Miss Astrid? You have to choose one."

"I want to talk to Miss Astrid and Neil."

Harry rolled his eyes, a bit pissed at her sudden demand to talk to Astrid. He hadn't seen or contacted her since her resignation two days back. He knew he would finally face her tomorrow but still hadn't gathered up the right words. He was so ashamed. She probably hated him so much for hurting her and then throwing a fit when she decided to leave. He'd just shown her that he was no different from that sensitive and insecure teenager who always walked away instead of dealing with their issues as a couple back then.

He hadn't walked away this time because he'd intended to throw a fit, he walked away because it was the only way he could hold himself back from stopping her from leaving him. If he hadn't walked away back then, he probably would have done something a lot worse. There was no way she would've even considered that reason, especially when the least he could've done was say Goodbye.

"Alright ma'am, we'll do what you want. We would give Miss Astrid and Neil a call." He pulled out his iPhone from the pocket of his jeans. "Let's invite her to a party that she'd already been invited to...makes sense, doesn't it?"

He couldn't tell whether she nodded in response to fuel his frustration or was just displaying childish innocence. It was Zia anyway, nothing was ever clear and certain with her. He plopped on an armchair, settling her onto his lap before calling Astrid.

"Put it on Facetime, Daddy. I want to see her."

"Oh, now you want to see her, huh? I thought you just wanted to talk to her?"

Zia glanced at him with a pout. "I thought you liked Miss Astrid, Daddy. Don't you want to talk to her?"

Harry caught his mother's glare again that had been up since she noticed his refusal to talk to Astrid. He'd told her about Astrid's resignation and how he'd reacted to it. She'd also warned him not to get their children involved by breaking the bond they shared, Astrid with Zia and him with Neil. He didn't want to, but this phone call just seemed pointless, since Zia was going to see Astrid the next day.

"What do you mean? I like Miss Astrid but…"

"Hello?"

Harry fell silent, his nerves tensed up in response once she appeared on the screen. He was a little surprised that she even picked up his call, at least not at their first try.

"Miss Astrid! Hi!" Zia squealed but still wasn't as happy as Harry was to see her again. He didn't have the words to say to her, but he missed her so much. A whole lot had changed in her absence, and he wasn't enjoying any of it. He wanted her back, so much that he was willing to go any length to convince her to reconsider.

"Hello, Zia! How are you doing?"

"I'm really happy, my birthday is tomorrow!"

"I know! You're gonna be six already? That's amazing!"

"Are you gonna be there for my party, Miss Astrid?"

"Of course I am! I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Happy Birthday, Zia!" They both heard Neil's voice suddenly in the background as Astrid lifted him into her arms to join her in the video call.

"Thank you, Neil, but it's tomorrow, not today," Zia responded. "Can you please bring Neil to my party too, Miss Astrid?"

"Definitely. I'm not going to leave him behind."

"Mummy already got you a present, Zia."

"Really?!"

"Shh...you weren't supposed to tell her, Neil. It was our secret, remember?"

"I can't wait to see my presents tomorrow!"

"Hi Neil" Harry finally broke his silence, and Astrid seemed startled like she hadn't noticed his presence before he spoke. "How is school?"

"Hi, Mr Harry! School is good. Mummy said I can't go right now because I might get sick again."

Harry's gaze immediately moved to Astrid and she looked away in silence. She was still mad at him and didn't even attempt to make it less obvious. "Uhm...Is there a problem, Astrid? I hope he's okay."

"Yeah." She replied nonchalantly. "I'd taken him to the daycare because I was working, now that I'm not...I prefer that he stays home for a while."

She couldn't even look him in the eyes while talking to him. Did he really hurt her that badly? "Alright...I just thought that…"

"Also uhm...I'm thinking of moving him to a different school...much closer to my home."

Harry stared at her almost tearing up in disbelief. She hadn't just decided to walk out of his life, but also take her son too? The distance had never been a problem before, why now? So she could avoid ever running into him again?

"Neil isn't going to be in my school?" Zia looked sad, displaying his exact reaction towards that idea. "But Neil likes my school, right Neil?"

Astrid's little son nodded in agreement. "I don't want to leave mummy. I want to stay in the same school as Zia."

"But it's a little far from home, Neil."

"Please Mummy."

"Please Miss Astrid"

Astrid looked at Harry who'd just been staring in silence the whole time. Harry wanted to object to the idea, but it seemed like their kids were already on the job. He didn't look away when she did, he just watched her, a little heartbroken at her discomfort and the fact that she wanted to be on the phone call with Zia, but not with him.

"Alright, I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises to you two, okay?"

"Thank you!" Both kids exclaimed cheering in excitement, while Harry and Astrid just locked their eyes on each other. Her hair was up in a messy bun and for some reason was in a garden apron, but was still as beautiful as the day he last saw her.

"Uhm...the party starts by two...I'll text you the address."

She looked away again like his presence felt like torture to her. It hurt him because he'd never wanted her to ever feel that way about him. "Alright."

"Zia...go ahead and talk to them, okay? I'll just go join Nana for dinner."

"Okay, daddy."

"Bye Mr Harry!" Neil exclaimed and his heart melted with a smile.

"Bye Neil, can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Me too."

He looked at Astrid again, and this time she seemed pissed but didn't say anything. "Thanks for agreeing to celebrate her birthday with us."

"Of course, Harry. I did it for Zia, so you don't have to thank me."

"Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday dear Zia...Happy birthday to you!" The little crowd gathered around the table cheered as Zia clapped in response, glancing at all the faces around her with a bright smile on her face. Her last birthday was celebrated at her school and even though the guests this time were pretty much strangers to her, it didn't stop her from being her usual self.

The Dreamcatcher foundation was situated at the Martin Luther King boulevard seemed like the perfect place to spread the love and joy that Zia radiated. The foster care was mostly populated with girls like her, girls that also deserved homes, and loving families like she had. Despite their situation, they all seemed so happy and ecstatic to celebrate with Zia. He'd been here with her a couple of times to visit and volunteered actively in most events and occasions, so he knew most of the kids, but wasn't sure it was the same for Zia. She was the opposite of him, and her extraverted personality made her get along with almost everyone.

Harry smiled as he watched Neil hold the table knife in her cake, and instead of pushing his hand away, she just placed her hand on his so they could cut it together. It was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen and their bond was something him and Astrid shouldn't mess with, even if they had problems with each other.

"Make a wish and blow your candles first, Zia," Astrid said, standing in a squat behind Zia and Neil, with both arms holding both kids close to her. Zia immediately looked up at Harry, then back at Astrid.

For the love of God, this girl!

Both Harry and Astrid just froze, staring at each other awkwardly as Zia's glance just flickered between them. It was all it took to figure out what had been going on in that little head of hers. Harry had guessed it from the start and had also hoped he was wrong, but he wasn't. She'd updated her wish list the last time he saw it.

"You don't have to say it out loud, Zia." Astrid blurted before his daughter could kill them both with the awkward tension she'd created. He noticed her face was red, and she was probably burning on the inside like she was. She just smiled and closed her eyes mumbling a few words to herself before blowing out her candles. She then cut the cake with Neil and everyone cheered.

Harry watched Astrid from the corner. The way she held Zia closely in an embrace and kissed her cheek, wishing her a happy birthday. The day was supposed to be for his daughter, but she was the one who had his attention from the start. He'd felt butterflies when she walked in a few hours ago, just like he always did as a teenage boy. She spoke to him once when he greeted her and thanked her for coming, but she'd been avoiding him since then, following Neil and Zia around so she wouldn't have to be left with him.

It didn't matter if she was still mad at him, she was here, and that was more than enough for him. She cut the cake further, placing a piece in both Neil and Zia's mouth and then proceeded to serve the kids. She seemed so focused on helping out at the party that she hadn't even noticed him staring at her direction, or maybe she did notice but chose to ignore him. He tried to place his focus on Zia's party, but all he could think about was how Astrid was going to leave again when the party ended and he'd go back to counting days and hours to meeting him again.

He missed her. He missed her so much and wished that it was enough reason to make her change her decision and stay. He could at least attempt to clear the air between them because although he still wasn't aware of what he did, he needed to do something to be back on her good side again.

"So, are you just going to keep staring at her the whole day? Or are you going to man up and tell her how you feel about her?"

He jolted in shock when he noticed Vanessa Haddock, standing next to him with her arms crossed. "Mum? How did you even get here? I saw you right there a few seconds ago."

"Can you not change the topic, Harry?"

"It's not that easy, mum. I can't just walk up to her and tell her that I love her."

"You don't meet people by accident, Harry, they come into your life for a reason...and when they do twice? Maybe it's because they're meant to stay, and you really shouldn't let them go."

"I know mum, just give some time, I'll tell her."

"Whatever. I just came to remind you that someone's daughter made a very fascinating birthday wish today. I wonder if he's curious about what it could be."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Mum...not now."

"If you're going to keep staring at her, at least do it with your mouth closed. I might be your mother, but it's a little embarrassing."

She left to join the party and Harry shook his head, his lips curling into a smile when he glanced at Astrid again. She was chatting with the children, helping out with the catering and hosting the party at this point. Her smile was the crown of her beauty. When she smiled, it was like the world smiled with her and it brought him so much joy that at least for a moment, she seemed so happy.

Zia's birthday party lasted a lot longer than he'd planned and she and Neil were already exhausted at the end of it. His mother had taken her home with the presents she'd gotten from friends and family. He was a little sad that he couldn't give her his present earlier, even though he was also aware that what he got her was not what she wanted. Neil had fallen asleep in his arms after Astrid left earlier to help with some volunteer activity. He'd been waiting for her patiently, hoping to talk to her before she left.

He cuddled the little boy in his bosom, a little concerned about his rough breathing. Neil coughed softly and snuggled closer to Harry who patted his back gently. He'd never really asked Astrid the specific health problem that she'd been battling with her son. She'd just mentioned that he'd spent most of his life at the hospital undergoing long term treatments from birth, but he still didn't know the full details of the cause of his health condition at such a young age.

Astrid was a strong woman. He would never understand how she could have gone through all the stages of pregnancy alone, spent three whole years in the hospital battling with his health condition, and still going strong, doing an excellent job raising him all on her own. The more he thought about it, the more it drew him towards her personality. It'd been clear that he was the one who took her presence in his life for granted because he needed her a lot more than she needed him.

He got up with Neil still in his arms when she arrived, even more, nervous now that he was alone with her. "Uhm...Astrid...you're back."

"I'm so sorry I took so long." She reached out to take her son from him. "Oh my gosh, he fell asleep? He must've been really exhausted."

He stepped back, disagreeing with handing Neil over to her. "You're going to your car, right? Let me walk you there."

She seemed a bit amused but shrugged. "Alright then."

They both walked out of the building walking side by side in silence towards the parking lot. He had a lot to say to her and attempted to form them before he missed his chance. Zia's spelling bee competition was in a month, and that way too long to be away from her. He followed her to her car and helped her set and secure Neil in his car seat trying to avoid waking him up.

"Thank you." She said, right after he closed the door of the backseat. Harry slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants, holding her gaze for a while in silence.

"I'm sorry, Astrid." He then broke the silence. "I'm sorry for walking out on you back then. I shouldn't have done that, even if I was against your decision, I should have respected it without grudges...I'm sorry."

She looked at him like she'd been waiting for him to say those words, and smiled after he did. "It's alright, Harry. I was never mad at you...I was just...hurt."

"So...how are you doing, Astrid?" Harry asked, "Have you been able to...get a job yet?"

"Uhm...not yet...but I've got an interview on Monday. I'm hoping it'll be successful."

"Of course it would. No company would miss a chance of having you as an employee." Harry replied, gaining another smile from her, and his heart leapt instantly.

"What about you? Did you get a replacement yet?"

"No. I haven't."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you would find one in no time."

She thought it was that easy, huh? She had it wrong. He would find a new secretary, but a replacement for Astrid? That was impossible.

"Thanks again for being here...it means a lot me."

"Anything for Zia. She's the reason I came, so you don't have to thank me."

"But she's my daughter, so I owe you that."

"It's alright, Harry, besides, I had fun today."

"Same here."

His sudden loss for words frustrated him. Why couldn't he just say something?! He just couldn't let her go again! Not without telling her how he really felt about her.

"Uhm...I have to get going. My dad and mum sent their greetings with the presents they got for Zia. They wish they could've have made it today."

"That's fine. Please send my gratitude to them as well."

"Sure. Goodbye, Harry. I know you don't do goodbyes, but I do."

She's walking away again, Harry! Aren't you going to do something?!

She opened the door of her car and Harry clenched his fist, unable to say the words his heart was screaming out loud. He didn't want her to leave, he wanted her back.

"You don't have to say it back if you don't want to." She smiled and turned towards the opened door, about to get into her car. Harry immediately took hold of her wrist, pulling her away from the car before she could get in, and closed the door after her.

"Harry, what are you…"

Without thinking twice, he snaked an arm around her waist, closing up the space between them, and the rest of her words were lost against his lips. He realized that maybe he didn't need to say anything to her, he just needed to do something. The world faded away at that instant as he kissed her in a slow and comforting way that words would never be. To his very surprise, she wasn't hesitant like he'd thought she would be, she melted into the kiss, her arms wrapped in a circle around his neck. He pulled her even closer, completely breathless when she let him all the way in.

He wasn't holding back one bit because she was here with him now, not as his secretary or liaison officer. She was here as Astrid Hofferson, his childhood sweetheart...his first love.