Chapter Twelve: Ralph The Internet Star

Song: (Dancing With Myself: by Billy Idol) Starts - 0:00

Ralph started his barrage of making and sharing videos of him doing 'current' trends and memes. This includes him pretending to be The Screaming Goat, he then tried doing the Hot Pepper Challenge (it was hotter than he thought), he did ASMR even though it weirded him out. Ralph did Make Up Tutorials (he looked fabulous), he swallowed his dignity and did the dreaded Fortnite Dancing, he even parodied the great Bob Ross. Ralph reacted to some adorable Cat Videos, and he even did a Cooking Tutorial Gone Wrong, which caused him to accidently set his hair on fire.

During all this confusion, Rancis found a room labelled 'Comments'. Inside he found Mrs. Rhythm looking at all the comments that people are leaving on Ralph's videos.

"Isn't it amazing, kid?" Mrs. Rhythm asked, without even looking at Rancis.

"Yeah." Rancis responded, "So these are the comments from everyone that seen a Ralph Vid?"

"Yep!" Mrs. Rhythm responded, gleefully, "Ralph Vids are stirring up more Buzzz *chuckle* on BuzzzTube then I have ever seen in years. I mean, LOOK at all these positive comments."

Rancis was impressed, but then, he noticed some negative comments, "What about these ones? They don't seem so positive."

Mrs. Rhythm looked down to Rancis, "Oh. Well, we don't pay any attention to those comments, they're most likely just trolls wanting to get a rise out of someone."

Rancis then saw a comment that was negative, but not at the same time, "What about this one? It seems to be giving some constructive criticism."

Mrs. Rhythm laughed, "Oh no, those comments might say that they're 'constructive' but, everyone knows that the sixth rule of the internet is that, 'Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monsters'."

"Rules?" Rancis was confused.

"Yeah boi, Rules Of The Internet. One-hundred to be precise." Mrs. Rhythm answered.

Rancis let out a quiet, "Okay then." He didn't think that ignoring criticism was a very good mindset to have if one wants to improve.

Ralph was now feeling burned out, (ironic, because he just put hair out), "Wow, this is hard work. I need a break." Ralph walked out of the recording studio and back to Mrs. Rhythm's office.

Song: (Dancing With Myself: by Billy Idol) Fades Out - 1:43

The whole group met back up in Mrs. Rhythm's office. Taffyta and Candlehead were leaning against the wall, Mrs. Rhythm was sitting at her desk while Poly was standing next to her tallying the views, and finally, Ralph was standing in the center of the room, though he was barely standing on his own and he had Rancis and Spamley holding him up.

Mrs. Rhythm was now wearing a purple one strap dress, with pink hearts all over it. She also now had her hair down covering her right eye, as well as no longer wearing her visor.

"MAN RALPH!" Mrs. Rhythm cheered, "You are on fire, figuratively and, in your last video, oh so literally."

"Thanks, and I see that you changed your outfit." Ralph said, catching his breath.

"Of course I did. Like I said, gotta keep up with the latest trends. Anyway, you seem parched. MR! get our star something to drink!" Mrs. Rhythm demanded.

"Yes ma'am. Here you go sir." Poly said, giving Ralph a drink.

"So," Ralph started, "My videos are doing good?"

"They're doing awesome!" Mrs. Rhythm cheered, "Show 'em the chart Mr."

"Yes ma'am." Poly replied, "According to the chart, Ralph Vids are currently the highest trending thing on the site, with numbers surpassing even YouTube's current highest trending videos."

"And that's good right?" Rancis asked.

"That's right Jr." Mrs. Rhythm responded.

Mrs. Rhythm then turned to Polly, "Just think Mr., soon we will have more than enough fame and fortune to surpass all the other video sharing sites in the world."

"Just the thought makes me giddy." Poly cheered.

Ralph then interrupted, "Hey, speaking of good things, can my friends and I now use your Search History Tracker to find Vanellope?"

"Oh of course Ralph." Mrs. Rhythm replied.

"Thanks." Ralph replied, "Alright guys, next stop, Vanello-."

"Just not yet." Mrs. Rhythm cut him off.

"Wait, what?" Ralph was confused, "Why not now?"

Mrs. Rhythm smiled, "Don't you remember? The deal was you get to use the tracker AFTER you make us enough money to save BuzzzTube, and, frankly, you haven't made any money yet."

"How?" Ralph questioned, "I made so many trendy videos."

"You did," Mrs. Rhythm replied, "But it's gonna take a while before they make us any monetary gain."

"And besides," Poly added, "According to the chart, your first vid is already no longer trending."

"But that was like, just under two hours ago." Ralph stated.

"Well that's like two years in internet time." Poly replied.

Mrs. Rhythm started to laugh, "Did you really think that you could just walk in here, make a few popular videos, and walk out with thousands of dollars in just a few hours? Sorry, it don't work like that."

"Oh." Ralph sighed.

Ralph then turned to Spamley, "Why didn't you tell me how this worked, Spamley?"

"Hey, you just jumped in without asking." Spamley defended.

Ralph sighed as he looked back over to Mrs. Rhythm and Poly, "How long is this going to take?"

"How long, how long?" Mrs. Rhythm wondered, placing her hand on her chin, "Mr. run the numbers."

"Yes ma'am." Poly replied, as he started to calculate the numbers, "Now, if my calculations are correct, and they usually are, if you make a minimum of twelve videos a day, every day, we should be making enough money in about, three weeks to a month."

"WHAT!" Ralph and Rancis yelled in unison and Spamley just stood there in shock.

"Don't worry," Mrs. Rhythm stated, "We could easily chop that down to two weeks, once I get my ad-bots spreading links all across the web."

"That's still too long!" Ralph protested, "I have a job that I have to get back to in my arcade."

"Not anymore." Mrs. Rhythm responded, "Like I said, you work for me now."

"Can't I just go to work at the arcade during the day and back here during the night?" Ralph suggested.

"Of course not!" Mrs. Rhythm laughed, "We would get more buzzz during the day."

"What about these kids? They need to-." Ralph was cut off.

"Of course they can help you in your vids." Mrs. Rhythm stated, "I can see it now, adorable marketable plushies of them."

"Once we get the rights of course." Poly added.

"Well obviously." Mrs. Rhythm agreed.

"That's not what I meant!" Ralph yelled, "We need to get them back home, WITH Vanellope, to save their game."

"Well I'm sorry Ralph, that's not my problem." Mrs. Rhythm stated, "I have to worry about BuzzzTube, not some Candyland knock off and a thirty-year-old time capsule."

"Then I quit." Ralph stated.

"WHAT!?" Mrs. Rhythm was shocked.

"We are going to find someone that's willing to help us now." Ralph said, turning away.

"You can't leave!" Mrs. Rhythm demanded.

"Yes I can." Ralph replied, "You can't keep me here."

Ralph, Rancis, and Spamley were about to leave, but unfortunately for them, Taffyta Muttonfudge and Candlehead stepped in front of the door, facing the three boys, and blocking the way out.

Mrs. Rhythm smiled, "Actually, *chuckles*, I can."

Ralph and Rancis were shocked, their own friends, betraying them.

"Taffyta, Candlehead, why?" Rancis asked, feeling scared of the reality he sees before him.

"Like I said," Mrs. Rhythm laughed, "You all work for me now."

"Candlehead and I have been talking about it," Taffyta started, "And we decided that we want to stay here."

"YOU WHAT!?" Rancis was at a loss of words.

"It seems that these two get it." Mrs. Rhythm said, "Now they go by User T.M.F. and User C.H."

Rancis looked mad with Taffyta and Candlehead, "HOW COULD YOU TWO DO THIS!?"

Candlehead smiled, "Rancis, Mrs. Rhythm promised us all a part of the profits once BuzzzTube was saved so we could buy any digital thing we want. At least that's what she told me and Taffyta."

Rancis was still confused, "What about finding and helping Vanellope and saving Sugar Rush?"

Taffyta rolled her eyes, "Oh, pull your head out of the fudge and open your eyes for ONCE Rancis! She doesn't care about us!"

"W-What?" Rancis stuttered his words.

"It's obvious that she doesn't like us." Taffyta stated, "That's why she left. She hates us."

"How dare you say anything like that!" Rancis was furious.

"I'm not wrong. Why else would she leave without telling us?" Taffyta defended

Rancis didn't know how to respond.

"This place is our best bet at living." Taffyta insisted.

"But what about Sugar Rush?" Rancis asked, "What about our friends back home?"

"We are only four of fifteen races, who's gonna miss us?" Taffyta retorted, "And even if Sugar Rush gets unplugged, our friends are safe so what does it matter."

Rancis felt like he just got stabbed in the heart a thousand times. He could not believe what he was hearing. Were these even his friends anymore?

Ralph looked mad at Mrs. Rhythm, "What did you do to them!? Did you brainwash them or something!?"

"I did no such thing." Mrs. Rhythm replied, "These two big girls made their choice on their own. And, as a reward, I'm gonna give them these."

Mrs. Rhythm pulled out two heart necklaces and threw them at Taffyta and Candlehead. The two jumped up and grabbed them.

"What do we do with these?" Taffyta asked.

Mrs. Rhythm gave a 'really' expression, "Duh, they're necklaces, you put them on."

"Oh, heh heh." Taffyta chuckled, ashamedly for not knowing.

Taffyta and Candlehead put the necklaces on, then, their bodies glowed purple. Their clothes then began to change, their normal Sugar Rush themed clothes were replaced by White Sailor suits, with colored skirts, green for Taffyta and pink for Candlehead. Taffyta's gloves disappeared. Their hats changed Sailor caps with the BuzzzTube Heart logo on the center. Taffyta's visor was green and Candlehead's visor was pink.

Mrs. Rhythm was impressed, "You girls are lookin' stylish."

"Thank you, ma'am." Taffyta and Candlehead replied in unison.

"You two are terrible." Rancis said to his traitorous 'friends'.

"Sorry, Rancis," Taffyta apologized, "But we're just doing what our president is doing."

Mrs. Rhythm clapped her hands to get everyone's attention, "Alright, break time's over. User T.M.F. and User C.H. take our star back to the recording studio."

"Yes ma'am." Taffyta and Candlehead said in unison.

"I'm not going anywhere that you want me to go, unless it's where Vanellope is." Ralph protested.

"That goes double for me." Rancis added.

"Oh come on." Mrs. Rhythm sighed, "Let's not make this any harder than it needs to be. Wreck-It Ralph, you're an Internet Star, and little Rancis, you can join your friends as User R.F.B."

"We would never join any you guys!" Rancis protested.

"You guys don't really have any other options." Mrs. Rhythm teased, "Girls, take them away."

Mrs. Rhythm turned around to face Poly to discuss what new trends that they were going to make Ralph do.

"The over-saturation of Ralph Vids will become a trend on it's own." Mrs. Rhythm cheered, "We'll call it #RalphWrecksTheInternet."

"But isn't the term, Breaks the Internet?" Poly questioned.

"Yeah, but we don't need kids lookin up the origin to that saying." Mrs. Rhythm defended.

Taffyta and Candlehead were leading Ralph and Rancis to the door. But then, Spamley walked back up to Ralph and leaned towards him.

Spamley whispered into Ralph's ear, "When I say 'Now', you grab Rachele."

"What?" Ralph was confused.

"You know, peanut butter boy," Spamley reassured, "You grab him, I jump on your back and you rush the door. Then jump through the wall and slide down the side of the tower. Got it?"

"Why would I do that?" Ralph questioned.

"Because I got what we came here for. Now let's try to escape with our lives." Spamley whispered, showing Ralph the Search History Tracker that he has hidden.

Yes, as it turns out, while the argument was going on, Spamley made himself useful and snuck behind Mrs. Rhythm and Poly, and grabbed the Tracker, since no one was paying any attention to him. Unfortunately, while Poly was talking to Mrs. Rhythm, he glanced over to her desk and noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that the tracker was gone.

Poly looked over at Spamley, saw the tracker, and yelled, "MA'AM! HE HAS THE TRACKER!"

"HEY!" Mrs. Rhythm yelled, turning back to them.

"NOW!" Spamley yelled the signal.

Ralph scooped up Rancis with one arm, Spamley jumped on Ralph's back, and Ralph plowed through Taffyta and Candlehead's blockade. Tearing down the door, Ralph ran down the hall, he then broke right through the wall leading outside of the tower.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ralph, Rancis, and Spamley screamed in unison.

Ralph was, luckily, able to dig his hand into the side of the tower and slow down the group's descent.

Back with Mrs. Rhythm, she looked at the damages, then she turned to Taffyta and Candlehead, "User T.M.F. and User C.H."

"Yes ma'am." Said Taffyta and Candlehead.

"You two are to bring my star back, ALIVE." Mrs. Rhythm demanded.

"You can count on us ma'am." Replied Candlehead.

"Good." Mrs. Rhythm stated, "Use the bots on the floor below, and remember, ALIVE."

"Don't worry, we got this, ma'am." Taffyta reassured, "Let's go Candlehead."

Taffyta and Candlehead went off to go and chase after Ralph, while Mrs. Rhythm and Poly Stayed behind and waited for them to return with Ralph on hand.

Mrs. Rhythm was NOT happy.

NOTES: Oh boy, I was ready for this chapter. Yep, this was one the big changes that I was, (not so subtlety), foreshadowing. That I changed Yesss and Maybe, whom I will be referring to as Mrs. Rhythm and Poly from here on out, (I hate their original names so much), are the main antagonists of my story. While one could give props to Disney for calling our bluff and making the person that we all thought was going to be the villain, not the villain. But, one of my problems with the movie is, ironically, that there is no villain. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing wrong with movies not having a villain, but in this story about the INTERNET, I think it would make sense to have someone that we can at least not trust. Teaching people that every person that you meet online and every link that you click on the internet has no strings attached is another one of the many bad messages that this movie teaches. Speaking of bad messages, it should without saying as to why I changed the outcome of the 'Ralph doing trends and memes scene, but I'm gonna say it anyway. BURNOUT! As anyone should know, for actual mental health and safety reasons, burnout is not good. Ralph making over 30 grand in under 8 hours is not only unrealistic, but dangerous if someone wants to try this themselves. And yes, I know that most people are smart enough to know that's not how the real-world works, but what about those few that are unaware. I just think it's weird that a multi-billion-dollar company like Disney, would at least try to get, a fuckin 'clue'. One more mini rant before we move on, it's about Shank and my hatred for her. Yeah, like this wasn't obvious. To put it simply, Shank is a Mary Sue, think about it for a sec, what is there about her? Based on what I saw, all she was, was everything that Vanellope wanted in a friend/big sister. Despite Shank only interacting with Vanellope for not even a few hours, she apparently knows everything wrong with her, how to fix it and what's best for Vanellope. There is nothing about her to enjoy, and I honestly can't see why people like her, but then again, it seems people only like Shank for her design, voice actress, or because they feel like they put any sexuality that they want on her, even if NOTHING in the cannon supports that, but I don't really want to get into politics and I also don't want to piss off the My Hero Academia fandom, yet. But if I'm being one-hundred percent honest, the real reason why I cut Shank, the Slaughter Race Rejects, and Slaughter Race as a whole out, is because the only way that I could see Shank as an interesting, (and, dare I say, GOOD), character, is by making her the villain, and the only reason why I didn't do that, is because jbwarner86, (my inspiration, for those who've been keeping up), already did the 'Shank was the twist villain all along' thing and better than I could think of, so I just cut Shank and the Slaughter Race Rejects out entirely. Now that that's over, I changed the comments scene because Ralph had been belittled by the Nicelanders for thirty-six years, (thirty in my cannon), so comments like, "Ralph's videos stink." "So stupid." "Ralph is the worst." "I hate him." "He's so fat and ugly." "Just a worthless bum alone on a pile of bricks." should just be water off a duck ass to him. Rancis is still new to this whole being bullied thing, plus he's a child, so he's more sensitive. (Also I somehow forgot that I made Rancis illiterate, so let's just say that he can understand some words, okay? Okay.) I gave my reasoning to the title change from Break to Wreck, sometimes the obvious pun won't make it so that your KID movie title is referencing nude photos. As for why I made Taffyta and Candlehead betray our heroes, DRAMA. (Edit: I came back and changed Taffyta and Candlehead's villain design to a design based on a fanart of Taffyta wearing a Sailor suit that I can't for the life of me, figure out who drew it, yes I am a psychopath.) Anyways, next chapter, we'll be meeting back up with the other main character of this story to see how she's been doing and see how she got to this point in the first place. Stay Tuned.