Chapter 11

"Can I get a pregnancy test?" asked Liz over the counter as she stood in the chemist. She shut her eyes as she did so, though she was not sure why. Part of her did not know why she had not gone into a bigger town or city to buy this or any where she could be anonymous. But then again she did.

Speed.

It would all take too long and she did think Patrick was going to be able wait that long for an answer and truth be known so did she, else they go mad. She did not know a lot right then, but she did know if there was a bun in the oven then she was going to be involved. She would be there for Patsy and the baby.

Still even if she would be able to explain it away, she did not especially need this to get back to her mother she could altogether do without those questions being asked. And more so even could Patsy. She just had to hope she was not going to be seen or caught.

Her memory drifted to when she and Patsy they were going to the barracks for the first time. She could trust her own mother not to let Patsy's know what they were up to. In this case she did not think it would be the same. It was to big to keep to herself.

But there was something in her – the little girl she guessed – that wished she could tell her, so she could help her handle it.

But parents she knew at the end of the day could be unpredictable people. No this was the better way – of that she was sure.

The shop assistant looked at her with suspicion and disapproval. She was older than her mum and far too judgemental for her liking. Liz's coyness faded into defiance. No doubt she thought she was the one who had got caught out with a solider. It was that which gave her confidence. She found that she wanted to play with this old bag who she could feel was already judging her to be a gym slip mum.

She wanted to shock her and she was sure shocking her was just what she was going to do.

Liz recognised this was exactly the reason why Patsy had not had the strength to come and buy this herself. If her friend was now where she stood, then no doubt she was going to leave feeling worse than she had done when she had gone into the shop. That was something Liz was not going to have.

"I will have a pack of fags with those as well please," she said with a smile which she hoped she had designed correctly to make the ladies hair curl. She must have done though she thought to herself for if the ladies eyebrows went any higher at that moment then they were going to go right to the top of her head.

"That is going to be five pounds," said with the woman as Liz passed over her money and took her change.

"Ta very much," Elizabeth said with a smile, walking out with her head held high.

X x x

Knowing that her mother was going to have gone to the shops and her father was going to be out at work, Liz told Patsy to come and do the test at her house. Then they had decided to take the packets and depose of them at The Spoon.

If they put them in the customer toilet then Liz knew it could have been anyone of them and even if Marty did find it, he was not going to be able to link the test back to one of them. At the end of the day, that was what they were going for Liz thought to herself as she sat outside the bathroom.

She wondered briefly if this was what it was like to be an anxious father but then dismissed that silly thought.

She could not know how any of this felt.

Patsy came out of the bathroom with what could only be described as a nervous look on her face and the stick in her hand.

"Do you think I did it right?" were the first words out of Patsy's mouth when she opened it.

Liz shrugged. She did not know how on earth she was meant to answer that one.

Where she did draw the line was actually going in and touching it.

"Did you pee where it told you too?" asked Liz for she assumed it was as simple as that, though she had never done one herself. Patsy nodded earnestly. She did not know how many times she had read the instructions but it had been more than once that was for sure and she had not been the only one to do so.

"Then I assume it is right."

Patsy sighed and put her head in her hands Liz could see the stress leave her body.

She did not need to say anything.

"Well, as long as you did do it right and I should think you did after all the times we read the test packet, then I would say you are in the clear kid. Not pregnant."

Liz looked at her best friend and she had to admit there were a mix of emotions on her face. The predominate one was relief for she did not see how she and Dan could have got on with a baby in their situation.

She did not think it would make for a very happy home – and there was also joy that she was not going to have to face her mother and father knowing what she knew about what she had done and how close she had got to a – well a cross roads in her life.

But somewhere deep down inside of her Patsy knew there was always going to be a secret sorrow - for a child who never existed.

But who was the perfect mix of her and Dan and who had been born out of there love. She thought there were many worst things in the world than that.

Before she able to stop herself she burst into tears.

"Oh love, I know you were scared but it is all going to be ok now."

"I really thought – I just really thought." she said as she sobbed on to her friends shoulder.

"I know you did. But – but as you said you and Dan were careful and– this - this was all just born out of paranoid and missing him." Liz could see it now.

"I just want him to come home." Patsy admitted and Liz felt her heart go out to her ever more so because whilst she did not think she could appreciate what she had been through with the scare, she was very much in the same boat there.

She did not think she could tell anyone how much she wished Jim was could just come home.

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