The Baby Diaries: Spike and Faye
Ch. 10: Why?
You should see yourself. Do you have any idea what you look like right at this moment, Spike?
What?
A ravenous beast. The same blood runs through both of us. The blood of a beast who wanders, hunting for the blood of others.
I've bled all that kind of blood away.
THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?
Why
…
~Trimester 2~
Faye couldn't think clearly.
Again.
Why was Spike so good at doing things like that to her?
She pondered this as she laid on her side in bed. It had been two days since the incident in the kitchen and though the baby kicking was a great distraction, she soon thought about what had almost transpired before.
Through all the commotion, Faye hardly had any time to think about Spike. Specifically, whatever feelings she had towards him. She'd subconsciously accepted long ago that he would never be hers and then she wondered when she even started to want that.
"Maybe I'm the real lunkhead," she muttered softly.
After he left the kitchen, she hadn't seen him the rest of the day, not even to eat the food she made. It wasn't a big deal at first, until the next day he seemed to outright avoid her. When she walked into a room, he left it, if he got caught in conversation with her, he kept it short, and if he wasn't in his room, he was off the ship entirely.
Why he was behaving so strange was beyond her, but she knew something was off.
Everything had happened so fast. It seemed like almost yesterday he was going to be lost to her forever and now they had something that would connect them forever.
Faye cradled her belly.
"Would I be a bad mother if I told you your father is a complete ass? Eh- you don't understand me anyways..."
Movement.
Faye laughed softly. It didn't tickle, that was for sure, but it was almost as if the baby was responding to her. She reached over to grab hold of the book she was previously reading. It said something about babies in the womb responding to voices around them, especially the mothers.
There were much more important things to focus on.
…
Later that day Faye took a walk around the ship, she wanted to go outside, but it was already late. She made her way to the common room where Jet was situated with Ed, he seemed to be very focused on the monitor before him.
"Hey, what's going on?" she questioned.
Jet perked up at her for a moment before looking back at his work.
"Hey, caught a new lead."
"Oh? New bounty?" she asked curiously as she sat down in the yellow chair across from him.
"Fazziii Motoooo!" Ed called this out happily, the name clearly a fun thing to say.
"Yeah," Jet confirmed, "Fazzi Moto, Spike's actually on it right now, he didn't tell you? He's gonna be gone a couple of days."
Faye stalled at this.
"No, he didn't."
Not like he was obligated too, she thought.
Jet paused at the tone of her voice but didn't let the feeling dwell and kept on.
"Oh, well it was kind of rushed. Guy's wanted for drug trafficking, constantly on the move."
"He's doing it alone?"
"He can handle this one, Moto's not too tough."
"I guess."
"It's Spike. You know as well as me, he can take on whole groups of men at a time," Jet told her this reassuringly, but Faye wasn't worried, she was confused.
"Yeah."
There was a slight sharpness in her voice. Instead of question this, Jet decided to divert.
"Hey. Baby kicking any today?"
This brought a smile to Faye's face.
"Yeah! I think he recognizes my voice sometimes."
She placed her hands on her tummy and Jet grinned.
"He?"
Faye frowned, "She… or whatever, it doesn't matter."
Jet chuckled and suddenly Edward was up and at Faye's belly.
"DOES BABY-PERSON RECOGNIZE ED'S VOICE!?"
Jet and Faye cringed.
"Ed you don't gotta shout every time you wanna talk to the baby!" Jet called out.
Ed giggled and Faye perked as she felt more movement in her belly.
"Oh!"
Edward was practically bouncing in place with her hands out.
"Let Ed feel!"
Faye couldn't help but grin at the girl's eagerness and took both of her ready hands then placed them on her stomach. Edward giggled again in all her odd tones as she felt the movements of the baby. Faye gave her a funny look, but the grin never faltered. The young girl eventually pressed her ear against Faye's belly.
"What are you doing?"
"Ed's trying to see what baby-person sounds like."
"You know the baby can't talk right?"
"Baby-person can't talk, but he can swish!"
Faye groaned, "you think it's a boy too?"
Jet chortled to the side; Faye eyed him. Suddenly her stomach growled, and she flinched.
"Oooh grumble grumble," Ed mimicked. Faye grunted and nudged the girl away.
"Do we have food?"
Jet continued his small laughter and stood.
"I'm on it."
…
1 week later
Spike stood in a graveyard.
He'd caught Fazzi three days ago, then he asked Jet for another, which he nabbed in two days. Then he just didn't call again, and he didn't answer anyone else's calls.
I'll go back, he kept telling himself.
Hands buried deep in his pockets, he stared at the stone with her name on it.
It wasn't much, she had to be buried by the government.
No family. No life.
No nothing.
Instead, now it felt like he had everything.
Why.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.
He didn't deserve it.
Why.
Sadness.
Guilt.
Love…
After everything, he still couldn't face all his demons and they insisted upon haunting him even from the grave. Holding him back from something he didn't even know he wanted.
He was just a worthless, guilty coward.
-The Baby Diaries-
Author's Note: Oof- so remember when I said I'd be back in October? Hehe, sorry about that! I hope those of you from America had a great Thanksgiving! I did a couple of edits on some previous chapters. I've been writing fanfiction for years, but haven't released anything before this because I'm such a perfectionist and I hate keeping people waiting like this lol. So thanks again for joining me on this bumpy ride while I just cold write and see what happens. I do get busy however and can't write unless inspired, so can't promise there won't be more waits in the future, BUT I started this story and I intend to finish it! I will see it to its end, no worries.
Also- I'm thinking about creating some type of social media for this (and any other fics I might release in the future) just so it'll be easier to keep up with you guys and give updates and stuff like that...idk maybe? Let me know if you would be interested in stuff like that and which platforms are good. I was thinking Insta or Tumblr. I don't really use Twitter, but I might consider it. Lemme know thanks!
Till next time space readers~!