Long time no see. Hope everyone is keeping safe in this crazy world xoxo. Just dealing with lockdown blues and postpartum!

Neighbours

Part 11

She held a pile of papers clutched to her chest as she glanced around, thinking she might catch a glimpse of Kouga. After their date, she had been a little too flustered to stay outside in the common areas and she had retracted to her room. She expected to see him in the morning, but it hadn't happened that way. Instead, she had found a fresh pot of coffee along with a note. He had a 16 hours shift. And then another. That lead them to have opposite schedules and up to today, she hadn't worked at the police station. They had exchanged a few texts, but nothing concrete. Now? She was looking everywhere, trying to see him, but to no avail.

"He's not here?"

The sound of someone's voice was enough to drag her out of her dreamworld. "S'cuse me?"

Ginta smiled. "Kouga - he's not here. He's out there on the field."

"Oh, I wasn't - I -" Bad liar. "I hadn't seen him in a couple of days."

"He should be back soon, though. Do you want me to tell him to drop by your desk?" The one right next to his.

"Oh, no, it's fine. Don't bother him."

"I don't think it would bother him." Since Kouga hadn't been able to see Kagome, he had talked about her instead. A lot. The last thing seeing her would do to him is bother him. He was fairly convinced he wouldn't even need to tell him to see her; he would do that all on his own.

"It's fine. It's nothing that can't wait." It had been two days, what was three days?

"Alright. Do ya need anything? Hungry?"

She dismissed him with a wave of the hand while the other one held on to the documents. "I'm fine. I ate at school."

He didn't know if he believed her, but it wasn't his place to question it. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks."

Kagome continued her way to her desk, sighing as she sat back down. Did she look ridiculous? Maybe she should have talked to him that night? It had been so confusing; he had just kissed her - a nice kiss - and now they were back to switching to roommates mode or was it supposed to be a continuation of the date? It was a mess - one she had been trying to avoid, but… it was a little late for that now. An impatient snort escaped her before she smacked her forehead against the hard wooden surface of her desk. She was overthinking this, and that was exactly what she didn't want to do.

"We don't pay you to sleep."

She knew that voice, and she disliked the person it belonged to… a person who was choosing a terrible time to be a bitch. Then again, did she really expect any other behavior coming from her? Not really.

"Ayame," she said as she raised her head. Be polite, she reminded herself. "Can I help you with something?"

"You could help me by leaving."

"We both know I'm not gonna do that, so."

"Then I guess you can't help me."

"Then I guess you can leave."

She huffed. "You know, he's not yours."

"Who's not mine?"

"Kouga."

"You're right. He's his own person, I don't own him. No one does."

"Don't be cute. He'll realize the mistake he's making."

"I think the mistake was going out with you and he realized it."

"I always win."

"Well, keep telling yourself that while you go to bed alone at home. Meanwhile, I'll be under the same roof as him."

"What?"

Was it going to help the situation? Absolutely not. Did she make everything worse and would Kouga and her have to face a shit show? Absolutely. But was it almost worth it to see the look on her face? A million times, yes. She lived in this delusional world where she thought Kouga and her would eventually end up together. Kagome didn't know if things between Kouga and her would pan out, but she knew it sure as heck didn't sound like he ever wanted to get back with Ayame. She needed to accept that. Ayame represented an ugly reality where Kagome would have never given up on Inuyasha. It was scary to think someone could go this far into their delusion. She was glad the message finally got through to her and that she backed off.

Ayame needed the same thing.

"Can I help you with anything else?"

"You're lying."

"You can believe what you want."

Ayame's eyes narrowed while her lips were tightly pressed together. Kouga and her had been together a long time, and he had never even brought up the possibility of them moving in together. There was no way he would have already crossed that line with this girl. She had never even seen them interact like a couple - or display affectionate gesture. She was messing with her. She had to be. It didn't matter - she would find out the truth. She knew there had been some mistake with her relationship with Kouga, but if he just gave her a second chance, she could show him it would be a smoother ride this time around. How was he supposed to see that she had changed if this girl stood in the way?

She refused to let this happen.

"I'm keeping my eye on you."

"You do that," Kagome said, ignoring her as she re-focused her attention on the giant pile of papers waiting for her. She didn't have any energy to waste on her. On the plus side, she expected a more explosive reaction than this. She didn't know if she should be scared or grateful.

Once she heard the sound of her footstep vanish, she raised her head again, just in time to see the last glimpse of red hair disappear.

Some peace - for now.

-N-

Kagome's mouth opened wide as she sighed, her hand loosely wrapped around her key. She had stayed a bit longer than planned, hoping to catch Kouga, but he had never returned to the station. So much for him being there soon. They were going to miss each other yet again. Kagome wiped the tears that pooled in the corner of her eye from her sigh and then unlocked the apartment's door. She pushed the door open with her foot, grabbing her grocery bag from the ground. At least now she could afford some food.

As she entered the apartment, the scent of delicious aromas suddenly overwhelmed her. Wait. What? Did she forget something on? No. She peaked inside only to take notice of Kouga, walking around, setting food on two plates. There were two candles in the middle of the table, a tablecloth - which was something she didn't even know he owned - and the entire apartment smelled delicious. She walked in a bit more so she could close the door behind her, and then she put her bags down on the ground.

"Hi."

"Hi," she replied, her eyebrows still knitted. She thought he was still at work.

"It was late when I got off work, so I thought I'd come back here."

"And make food?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't make it so it should be safe to eat. I'm just making it look pretty."

The gesture was sweet, and it was adorable that he wanted to make something for her. Although it was not lost on her that the only reason he could even pull this off was because they lived together. So he could be in the same kitchen as her. He could surprise her like this. And that was where the dating/living together line was giving her anxiety. What if it became too much, too fast? What if it ruined living together or the relationship? Everything was blurred in together and… and it scared her.

"You don't look happy," he stated as he took in her features. Should he have gone back to work and they could have come together? Should he have asked her what she wanted to eat? Was this not romantic? He'd been out of the dating game for a bit, and now it appeared that he had lost his edge. Fuck. So much for surprising her…

"No-no," she hurried to say as she waved her hands in front of her. "It's sweet."

"But?"

"I- I mean, are we crossing a line?"

Right. The roommate thing. He knew she was having a hard time with that, and maybe it wasn't the best way to have a second date, but he kind of felt like a jerk he hadn't been able to see her since their first date. They lived together, and he hadn't been able to catch a glimpse of her… it reminded him why most of his relationships didn't work… Yes, he had more free time now, but it didn't change the fact that sometimes it got hectic and sometimes he got caught up in his work. If they didn't live together, he would see her half the time only… He didn't want her to already feel left out and cast aside when they hadn't even started anything yet. Maybe he had gone too hard, too fast.

"What if we say I'm hella creepy and I broke in to serve you diner?"

"I don't think this helps," she says with a laugh. "Because then I'd definitively be calling the cops."

"Well, luck would have it, I'm also the cops."

She couldn't help but chuckle louder, finally taking a step in his direction. Maybe he was right; it was one tiny thing. She was overthinking this, right? She had to be. "Thank you, it smells great."

He pulled out the chair for her, allowing her to sit down, and then he did the same. "Chinese takeout," she commented, biting back a smile.

"It felt safer for your health than anything I could burn in here."

"You know, if we're both a fire hazard, it's not gonna end well," she says she lifted up her chopsticks.

"Take out every day it is."

"That sounds healthy."

"Hey, there are vegetables in this."

She chuckled, softly shaking her head as she took her first bite. "I guess that's true."

KNOCK! KNOCK!

That was a… violent knocking.

"KOUGA, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."

He knitted his eyebrows together; that sounded an awful lot like Ayame. Why in the world was Ayame threatening to break down his door?

Ah crap. "So hm," she began as she put down her chopsticks. "I may have told her we were living together. Yup. Might have slipped out." And now was the moment where she wanted to melt into her chair and stop existing. She knew it would backfire eventually, but she had no idea that she would come running around like a bulldozer. She really gave that woman a little too much credit. She had no self-control.

"Oh."

Now he wanted to know what kind of conversation led to this revelation. It had to be a positive thing that she wanted to tell Ayame they were living together - even if they weren't living together as part of a relationship deal. And if Ayame was this mad? It wasn't conveyed that they were roommates. Right? "So - she thinks this is?"

"A happy couple living together?" she mumbled under her breath. "I guess that's what she assumed." Because that was how she made it sound like… omitting details was not lying, right? It was like - it was lying. What would he think of her now?

"You might wanna get out of the damage zone," he said as he got up. Obviously, he had no intentions of letting her in but he also knew that Ayame did as she pleased and he wasn't about to put his hands on a woman - no matter how aggravating she could be.

He resisted the urge to sigh as he opened the door to reveal a furious redhead. "Can I help you?"

"Is it true?" Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks were sticky and her bangs were all out of place. "Because if it is, I don't understand."

"Ayame, I don't know how else to tell you. We're not together anymore."

"I gave you space. I gave you time. We were good together, I don't - I don't get it. I thought, you just needed time to be ready. We want the same things Kouga. Why do you need to have them with someone else?" For years, she had been after him. She had waited, patiently, for him to show interest. She was always there to help him, always there to support him. Then finally, she had a shot with him and she took it. At first, there was no problem; the relationship was good, and they had a great time together. Until he decided out of the blue that it wasn't working. He had never shared that with her. He had just decided that it was over. How was that fair? "You never even gave me a second chance. I didn't even get to make it work."

"Ayame, you keyed my car."

"You left me."

"You slashed my tires."

"Okay, I was angry, so what? It's your fault. You threw us away like our relationship meant nothing."

"I didn't. I broke up with you because it wasn't working."

"It was working."

"Maybe for you, but not for me," he pointed out. He couldn't stay in a relationship because she wanted. It sucked to break up with someone. He wasn't a fan or hurting anyone but she hadn't been the right person for him. And how was she forgetting how badly it had ended? It took months for him to no longer fear for his life every time he went into the office!

"You didn't give me a chance to change."

"Ayame - if you have to change for someone, then they're not the right person for you."

Her eyes narrowed before she looked over his arm, the one he had carefully used to block her view. "And she's the right person for you?" She scoffed. "You don't even know her and you're living with her. A few months ago she was just your neighbour!"

He could set the record straight and explain that they were roommates, but that wouldn't help the situation. Ayame would probably also use this to make Kagome's life harder. Surely she wouldn't mind if he kept going with the illusion - after all, she was the one who began this little… white lie? "Ayame, my relationship with Kagome doesn't concern you."

"So it's true." She felt the tears burning at her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of him. "You know what, Kouga? When this fails, because it will. Don't expect me to be waiting for you. You're wasting your time on a little girl who has nothing figured out. You wanna get married, you wanna have kids. So do I. Do you know what she wants? When she wants it? This isn't gonna work. She doesn't understand your schedule. You'll be away all the time and she'll hate you for it. So have fun with her."

Her jaw clenched, her rage the only thing keeping the tears in, and she turned on her heels to face away from him. One day, he would come crawling back.

He stood in the doorway, watching her walk away, a heaviness spreading in his chest. She was absolutely insane, there was no doubt about that, but he felt a hint of guilt. It wasn't like he enjoyed the pain she was feeling. He wished she could have moved on from their relationship and found someone else or something else to make her happy. He was a little tired of her involving herself in his life and things that didn't concern her. Yet the questions she had asked rung in his ears. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it. He knew he was a… couple of years older, but… he wasn't there at this point in his life. And who talked about that on the first day, anyway?

A few seconds went by before he closed the door and turned around to look at Kagome. Her hands were on her laps, her eyes glued to him, a hint of doubt shining in her grey eyes. Yes, because more doubts were what they needed. Obviously.

"So do I win craziest ex or…?"

She let the corners of her lips tug upwards. "At least yours is a proper ex."

"True, else it would be so embarrassing," he said, flashing her a grin as he sat back down. Defusing the situation - that would work, right?

Kagome watched him pick up his chopsticks, and she did the same, but the thundering of her heart told her she would have to mention it. "So, are we - gonna talk about it or…"

"I was kinda hoping we wouldn't," he admitted truthfully. "Look, this is our second date. I don't know about you, but I rarely figure out my entire life in one day."

"No, I know…"

"But?"

"No, no but…"

"But?"

"Is she wrong?"

"It's Ayame. So yes, she is very wrong."

She had to laugh at that one. "She asked good questions."

"About things we don't need to be thinking about. Marriage, kids, come on."

"But you do want those things?"

And they were talking about it. "Yeah, I'd like to settle down. Not live in an apartment and have a family. I don't want those things tomorrow, Kagome."

"I know, but you're 30. You probably don't want them when you're 40. You don't have forever."

"Actually," he said with a grin. "I'm a guy. Unlike you, I have forever."

"Yes, who doesn't dream to have a kid at 60?"

"Hey, I still could."

"Kouga…"

"You know what I mean." She looked at him, her lips pinched together, and it was obvious she was holding back a lot. He sighed, putting down his chopsticks; he would not eat, would he? Thank you Ayame. She had managed to put a dent in their second date. Wonderful. "Alright. You wanna talk about it, so let's talk about it."

She didn't want to - or at least she wished she didn't want to talk about it. It was just this mixed with her initial doubts and her constantly thinking it was the worse idea… it was a terrible mix. She knew she shouldn't think about that. They had fun - and their kiss had been great. But she was here, trying to find a way out. Why hadn't she thought like that back when she was chasing Inuyasha? It would have saved her a lot of embarrassment and heartache. God. "I - It's not wrong to see if we're heading in the same direction… before we change our relationship." Kagome had gotten used to his presence in her life and she enjoyed his company. Plus, they were roommates. If the relationship went south - all of this? Gone.

"Okay, what do you want out of life? Do you wanna get married?" This was awkward. It wasn't like he was going to propose to her…

"Some day." She always thought she'd probably end up marrying someone, eventually. It wasn't a necessity, but it wasn't like she didn't want to get married.

"Okay. Kids?"

"Yes." That answer came quick, but she felt like it needed clarification. "But not anytime soon. I mean - I'm still in school, I don't have my proper job - I can't even afford an apartment on my own."

"Damn. Guess I'll have to cancel the next part of our date. And here I was looking forward to having kids tomorrow…"

"Kouga…"

"Kagome."

"Fine, you're right. It's fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"I am fine."

"Kouga, you're right."

"Okay."

"Okay."

She would fine, he was fine. It was fine.

-N-

"I should hit you."

"You probably should," Kagome added as she collapsed on top of Sango's wooden table. "I don't know why I let her get to me like that."

"Because you're looking for an out."

"I'm not -"

"Yes, you are."

"I just wanna be sure."

"But Kagome, that's the problem. No one is ever sure. You have to get into it and go with the flow. That's what the rest of normal people do. Don't you think I had some doubts about Miroku? I never thought he'd be able to keep his hands to himself, but he's surprised us both."

She had her there - Miroku was a prime example. It wasn't like he was a bad person or anything, but they had known him for his lecherous ways… Still. Ever since they had been together, Miroku had never strayed. It wasn't something Kagome thought was possible, but she was happy they had worked out. They made a wonderful match - even if they could have appeared like an unlikely pair to the rest of the world. This all brought it back to the same conclusion; she was overthinking this.

"Ugh, you're right." She groaned, banging her head against the hard surface a few times. "

"Of course I'm right. Now if only you had listened to me from the beginning, you wouldn't be in this mess right now."

"It's not a mess."

"That man is a saint. He hasn't given up on you yet. Despite how against it you are. Trust me, it's a mess."

"He had this whole dinner set up for us and all I could think was how he was crossing a line."

"Kagome, if he doesn't cross a line, you guys will still be holding hands five years from now."

"I'm not that much of a prude."

"You're right. You have a tendency of waiting for guys… in their bedrooms… naked."

"Could we forget that happened?"

"Never." She chuckled. "I don't even think Inuyasha's gonna forget it."

"You know it's not like that."

"It is a little. It's not like he's indifferent to you - you know. He just likes her more. And even though he's a complete idiot, he cares about you, and he knows he can't be with you. That's why he turned you down." If Kikyo wasn't in the picture, it would have been a different story, but Inuyasha had never been able to let her go. It was almost silly; they weren't even dating. Maybe one day Kikyo would change her mind, but today was not the day. But she had to give Inuyasha some props for not leaving Kagome hanging.

"Sango, my love, we're here."

We?

Both Sango and Kagome turned around, only to be graced with the sight of Miroku and Inuyasha walking in. Oh great. Kagome groaned louder before burying her face in her hands; this was not what she needed right now. She could feel his eyes on her and the rage seeping from him. So she had been avoiding him since their brief confrontation where she slammed a door in his face. One where she said she had been sleeping with Kouga. Why did she have a feeling that it wouldn't end well? Oh yes, because it wouldn't. At least from Sango's surprised expression, she could tell that this hadn't been planned.

If she had known…

"Hey look who got tired of her boy toy. Or did he get tired of you?"

"Hi Inuyasha," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm great, how are you? Oh, that's good. Yes, everything is going great. How about you? Oh good to hear," she said, having the entire conversation by herself.

"Keh. Whatever."

"I see you two are on speaking terms," Miroku said, awkwardly walking by Inuyasha so that he could give his girlfriend a kiss. "Guess I shoulda called," he ushered in her ear.

"Guess so," she whispered back.

"You guys know we can hear what you're saying right?" Kagome pointed out with raised eyebrows. "It's fine. I can be an adult about this. I'm not sure about Inuyasha though…"

"I'm not the one who's being a child."

"Aren't you, though? Didn't you come to my door to throw a tantrum?"

"You mean his door."

"That's where I live too, Inuyasha. That makes it my door as well."

"Which I still think is a stupid idea. You could have lived with me."

"Inuyasha - we both know that would have been a terrible idea." Mostly for her. He wasn't the one who had to live with the shame of his actions - she was. Plus, she might have caught sight of them all the time and even though she was completely over her crush on Inuyasha, she didn't know how much Kikyo knew and… well, she didn't want to feel embarrass or in the way all the time.

"A worse idea than you living with a complete stranger?"

"He's not a complete stranger."

"Fucking him doesn't mean you know him."

That word was enough to perk up Sango's ears, and she turned her head to look Kagome with confusion written all over her face. Someone had forgotten to share something or…

"You're not fucking him?"

Thanks, Sango. "What we do is none of your business, Inuyasha."

"Why do you keep tryin' to make me out to be the bad guy? I'm looking out for you."

"Inuyasha, I'm a grown woman. I don't need you to look out for me, I can look out for myself."

"Keh. No, you can't. That's why you're in this mess."

"Inuyasha, I don't give you life advice, and I'd like if you did the same. What I do or wanna do with Kouga is my business and my business alone."

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart."

"I didn't come crying to you when you did." And that slipped out by itself. "Sango, I'm gonna go."

She hopped on her feet, hoping to run out of the apartment as fast as she could, when she felt fingers wrap themselves around her wrist, keeping her grounded "Kag- I didn't want - I didn't mean…" He never wanted to hurt her. That was why he waited so long to - to turn her down. He had preferred to not deal with it, figuring it would have gone away on its own, or that him and Kikyo's relationship would have become more official, which would have given her the answer without him having to say it. It didn't happen that way.

"Inuyasha, I know." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Inuyasha - I'm a big girl, okay. I'm not gonna get hurt. And if I do, that's life. Now please let me go."

She felt the resistance, the urge to keep her by his side, but eventually, his hold loosened and he retracted his fingers. She paused for a beat before she headed for the door, her heart in her throat. She had thrown everything at Inuyasha and it had blown up in her face. Now she knew for a fact that the ending would be different, but she was holding back.

What was wrong with her?

-N-

She was going to burn a hole in the ground.

Kagome had been pacing the apartment ever since she had been back. Obviously, it did not surprise her that Kouga was not in the apartment. She didn't know if that was good or bad. Her entire way back her brain had been overworking, overthinking, rendering her a jittery mess. She had gone to Sango for advice and instead she had confronted Inuyasha yet again. Although, it had made her think about herself and her recent decisions. She had been burned so badly that now; she was scared to repeat the experience.

That wasn't fair.

To her.

To him.

She needed to break the cycle; she needed to go into life she same way she always had. Why did it feel easier said than done? Kagome was so wrapped up in her own little world, that her brain completely shut off the sound of the door opening - and the sight of a tall handsome man standing in front of her. It took a few seconds, but eventually she registered the fact that someone was waving their hand in front of her face, desperately trying to get her attention. The look of concern on his features was also hard to miss.

"You alright?"

"Hey."

"Hey." He blinked. "You alright?" he repeated.

She nodded. "Yeah, sorry, I was - I was at Sango, then Inuyasha showed up…"

"You'd think those two called each other or something." Ayame, now Inuyasha. What a wonderful week this was turning out to be… He didn't know Inuyasha too well, but he knew some events that went down between the two of them and he knew that Kagome was usually a little on edge after an unpleasant encounter with him. This did not bode well.

"Seriously…" She popped her lips. "Listen, about the other day… I'm sorry. You were right."

"I think you've said that already."

"But I mean it this time."

He chuckled. "So you don't always mean your apologies, good to know."

She groaned. "It's not what I meant."

"Kagome, it's fine. I get it."

"No, it's not fine."

Okay… Now he was tempted to let her talk.

"I'm trying to be ten years in the future, and we haven't even done now. That's my fault. And I am trying to find a million reasons why it won't work or why we shouldn't try. And that's not fair to me or to you."

At first, he had been intrigued, but now he would be lying if he didn't say his heart was beating slightly faster. Why did this sound like the beginning of a break up speech? Which was odd since really, there was no relationship to break? She was kind of nipping it in the bud before it even took place. Now he was torn between interrupting her brief speech to defend the situation and letting her finish. He didn't know which one would be worse.

"So, I'll stop."

"You'll stop?"

"I'm gonna stop worrying over nothing. I don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what's gonna happen, so I'm gonna stop worrying about it. I can't control it, so there's no point."

This was absolutely not where he thought it was going, but he couldn't be more pleased with the turn of events. He grinned, closing the distance between their bodies while slightly leaning forward to lessen their height difference. "Actually, you're wrong."

"I am?"

"I do know what's going to happen."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, see, in a few seconds I'm going to kiss you. You're gonna be so swoon, you'll drag me by force in your bedroom so I can finally get a preview of that lacy bra and no underwear your friend was screaming about the other day."

She shook her head, biting her lip to not let a laughter spill out. "I would say that's a very overactive imagination you have."

"So all of it is in my head?"

"Maybe not the first part."

"Darn. I was about the second part would be right."

"Keep going and there won't be a first part."

"Duly noted." He bent down, capturing her lips with his before she had a chance to change her mind.

Although her reservations remained, she remained firm on her idea to give it a shot - stress free this time.

What could possibly go so horribly wrong?

Right?

-N-