AN: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Sorry it took so long to update – I'm back in grad school to get ESOL certified and that's taking a lot of my time even when all my classes are online.

"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 12

Ben was transferred to one of Coruscant's top hospitals, on Pooja's insistence. Normally he would have been in the intensive care unit, but given that no one knew what could happen when he woke up (if he woke up at all), he was placed in his own room rather than a room with other patients. His arms and legs were strapped to the bed, there were security cameras installed in the ceiling, and the door was locked from the inside so doctors could easily access him but he couldn't escape on his own.

Rey had never been inside a real hospital, but she decided that she didn't like it. The ceiling lights were so bright – the glare hurt her eyes and reminded her of Jakku's blazing sun. So many people going back and forth down the halls in a hurry as if saving people's lives was a matter of business instead of compassion. Then there was the smell. Sure, the whiff of antiseptic was always in the air whenever doctors were around, but it would only be a whiff at the Resistance's bases. Here the strong, too-clean smell just hung in the air.

The only difference in Ben's appearance was that he had been changed into one of their hospital gowns – a light blue one dotted with tiny yellow flowers. He looked good in blue, more boyish. She could better imagine him as the mischievous child Leia had told stories about.

Leia. She felt a tightening in her chest as she remembered the moment she felt Leia's life force go out after she'd impaled Kylo with his own lightsaber. What would the general do if she were alive to see her son like this?

"Ben," she whispered, the beep, beep, beep of his heart monitor irritating her ears, "why won't you wake up? Did I do something wrong when I transferred my energy to you?" The memory of pouring her energy into him after he collapsed was blurry – it was possible that in her desperation she had done something wrong, though she wasn't sure what.

He remained as still as ever. Why was she even talking to him? She remembered hearing somewhere that people in comas could possibly hear people talking to them, but she sure wasn't seeing any evidence of that.

"Are you afraid?" she found herself asking. "Are you scared of facing the world without the mask?"

No answer, of course, but she kept talking anyway, maybe for her own peace of mind or maybe because she wondered if he could actually hear her.

"I understand if you're afraid. I'd probably be afraid too, but you won't be alone. Lando still cares about you, and Pooja, and I think even Chewie does."

This was pointless, wasn't it? Probably, but she was still doing it. "I don't know what the Resistance will do to you when you wake up, but I'll fight for you, I promise."

What would the Resistance do? They'd almost definitely arrest him and put him on trial, but what would come after that? Would they imprison him for the rest of his life?

Would they execute him?

. . .

"Ben, I'm so proud of you."

The woman named Padme – Ben's grandmother – threw her arms around him almost before he'd comprehended what was happening. Was he supposed to hug her back when she was a total stranger? "It's . . . nice to meet you," he said awkwardly, "but you shouldn't be proud of me."

Padme ran her hand up and down his back. "Your grandfather said the same thing when he joined with the Force."

"My . . . grandfather." Ben blinked over her shoulder at the strange man who was staring at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

"I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head."

Ben gulped. The grandfather he'd long thought that he knew, who he thought was urging him to continue his legacy . . . it was a lie.

"Why didn't you reach me?" he exclaimed, pushing himself out of Padme's embrace and stomping up to Anakin. "Palpatine was speaking to me in your voice – he had me convinced that you wanted me to . . ."

"I couldn't," Anakin interrupted. "I tried many, many times, but he always blocked me."

"You're a ghost!" Ben exclaimed. "Couldn't you have, I don't know, contacted someone else and told them?"

Anakin's head lowered. "I was blocked from that too."

The rage that was forever a companion was once more bubbling inside Ben. "Are you seriously telling me you couldn't do anything in thirty years?"

"You can yell at me all you want," said Anakin, looking back up at his grandson. "I've been where you are, overwhelmed with everything I did, unable to fix anything or resurrect anyone." He looked like he was about to cry. "I've looked into the eyes of people I killed – including children.I let them yell at me, curse my name, cry about how they looked up to me and I broke their hearts, but in the end nothing can undo what I did." Now his gaze shifted to Padme. "I couldn't face your grandmother for almost a year after joining the Force. Even though she kept asking to see me, I couldn't look at her knowing I had let her down and caused her death."

Ben gulped as he turned to face Padme. "Is that true?"

Padme nodded. "Honestly . . . it was hard for me too. I mean, he sacrificed himself to save our son and I was of course eternally grateful for that, but . . . he still took so many other lives, and I'd watched him doing it. I'd even gotten to know the younglings he killed during the Jedi purges."

"What?"

"They were scared, having been cut down in an instant by someone they thought would protect them." There was a faraway look in her eyes. "And, well, I did my best to comfort them, like I would have done for my own children . . ."

There was a lump in Ben's throat as he looked back at his parents and Luke, none of whom looked like they knew what to say. He looked back at Anakin, feeling the tumultuous wave of guilt flowing from him.

His grandfather had murdered children.

Didn't you do the same thing? a silent voice said in his mind. You ordered whole towns destroyed, after all – do you really think there weren't any children there?

An image came flowing from Anakin's mind – a small, terrified boy looking to Anakin for help . . .

Then the lightsaber activated . . .

His eyes squeezed shut, as if that could eliminate the image in his mind. You think you're better just because you never looked children in the eye before slaughtering them? the silent voice persisted. You think those frightened eyes didn't exist just because you didn't see them?

A cry escaped his mouth as his eyes shot open, once more bringing his grandfather into his vision. "H-How?" he exclaimed. "How can you stand remembering that?"

Again Anakin lowered his eyes as he put his hand on his grandson's shoulder. "Ben," he said, "what you ultimately do is your decision, but please consider everything before you throw away what I never got."

"What you never got? What do you mean?"

Anakin looked back up at his grandson, his blue eyes glistening. "A chance to make things right."