Year One - Chapter 25

When Herbology ended, Neville, Hermione and I went to the library to study for the upcoming exams because we only had one week left. Before leaving the greenhouse, I had to grab Hermione by her hand and drag her out of there. I was starting to worry, she wasn't answering questions in class and I think she isn't even paying attention, she never realized when classes had ended.

We were about to cross the corridor that leads to the library when I heard some voices fighting, and yes, with my luck, the voices belong to my dad and McGonagall. How is it possible that I keep finding my dad in a castle with a thousand corridor?

We weren't in a hurry to get to the library, so we stopped in the hall to listen to what they were saying and waiting for them to leave.

—How can you give them that kind of detention? They are roaming the castle in the night like every other student and you think it's a good idea to send them there? How come fifteen years ago you only decided to take points off those four and made them clean the castle!?

What is my dad talking about? What happened fifteen years ago?

—Severus, please, you should let that in the past. I already decided it and Dumbledore agrees with me. Yes, I know that all the students get out of their common room after curfew but we both know that these times are dangerous.

—We know that: they don't. I'm her father and I won't let her go in there. Not only is dangerous but she is completely afraid of going in there.

—And I'm her Head of House, as long as she's in Gryffindor, she'll have to follow my orders. If she were a Slytherin, things could've been different…

—I won't let you send my daughter to the forbidden forest just for detention. It's forbidden for one reason!

—Severus, please, it's not like they're going alone, Hagrid will be with them.

—Hagrid wouldn't recognize danger even if it were in front of him.

—Severus… —McGonagall stayed quiet for a while, like if she were thinking of the right words to say.— I understand you, but I can't just give her special treatment just because she's the daughter of a professor, word would spread and all the parents will want their kids to be treated differently just because they have high positions in the Ministry of Magic.

—I am not asking you not to send only my daughter, I am asking you not to send any of them. They are first years! It's… It's crazy, Minerva.

I started to feel a little bit dizzy, I was just starting to process that it's very likely that we're going to the forbidden forest as detention. I was terrified, dad always told me several times since I can remember how dangerous it is to go there and he told me all the types of dangerous creatures that live there; he did a damn good job of keeping me from ever even thinking about going there.

—Eileen. —Hermione whispered.— Are you all right? You look a little pale.

—I'm… Yeah, I'm fine… —I started to breathe deeply, trying to calm myself; when I finally got it, I noticed that the corridor was really quiet, so my dad and McGonagall must have left already.— Come on, looks like they left already, we can go to the library now.

I grabbed Hermione's hand again, I don't know if I'm doing it to make her follow us or because I needed to hold her; just at the moment we turned the corner, I hit something soft and didn't need to look up to know that it was my dad. Someone should write a book with all the bad things that happen to me.

I looked up to see my dad, waiting for him to simply ignore us and leave, I noticed that his eyes looked at my hand for a couple of seconds, the one that was still holding Hermione's hand but he didn't say anything, only arched a brow and quickly went back to his emotionless face and looked me in the eyes.

—Eileen, I need to speak with you.

—Now? Because the exams are next week and…

—Now.

He left walking slower than usual, I guess he's doing it because he knows that he walks a lot faster than me and I have trouble keeping up with him. I said goodbye to Hermione and Neville and went behind him.

The long (although not that long, but it felt that way) walk to his office was a little bit uncomfortable, I wasn't sure if I should say something or if it was better to say nothing; I hate that I can never tell what he's thinking. Maybe I should start learning Legilimency.

We got inside of his office and he immediately went to sit at his usual chair in front of his desk, I stood still in front of the door, looking at the floor.

—So? —I looked to see him and he had his elbows resting on the desk, and with his hands was rubbing his temple, I guess he has a headache (or is going to have one soon).— Don't you think to sit down?

I quickly sat in the usual chair; it's an extremely bad idea to make him get mad when he's having a headache, although lately I've been having extremely bad ideas and I've made him get angry more times than I can remember, I wonder if my life would be different had I been a Slytherin, is it possible to ask for a change of house? Although with all the stupid things I've been doing these past months, looks like I'm really a Gryffindor.

—What were you thinking, walking around the castle at one in the morning?

—You've said so yourself, we Gryffindors don't think. —Great done, Eileen, keep digging your own grave.

—Eileen Evan Snape, I have tried in so many ways to make you understand that you cannot be doing whatever you want whenever you want, what do I have to do so that you can understand that? What do I have to do so that your little head remembers to think before you act?

I don't know what's worse, the fact that he used my full name or that he's not screaming.

—When I think you finally understand it and start acting really mature for your age, you always end up doing some… Stupidity that makes me think you are five years old again. Tell me, what do I have to do for you to understand?

—I have been talking with Narcissa these days, —He kept talking when he knew I wasn't going to say something.— We are already doing the process to transfer you to Durms—

—NO! You can't do that!

—Then start behaving yourself and stop doing acting like a five-year-old. The next time you do something, no matter how small it is what you do, I will transfer you without telling you. Understood?

—Yes, dad… I… I'm sorry… —My voice was breaking, but I wasn't going to cry. I don't want to cry.— I promise you I won't do anything ever again.

—I know you won't do anything because you are going to be here all the time that you are not in class. You will study here for your exams so that you don't distract yourself with anything.

—But—!

—Do you want to go to Durmstrang?

—No…

I got up and sat in the only couch in here, taking out my Transfiguration book. I don't think I'll ever understand my father, sometimes I feel that he punishes me a lot for small things and sometimes I feel like I'm only a burden for him.

Maybe my life will be different, better, in another school? I think that my only friend here is Neville… I don't even talk with Draco anymore and it's all because I'm a stupid Gryffindor, why did the dumb hat decide to send me there instead of Slytherin?

No, come on, Eileen, concentrate and pay attention, Reparifarge is the spell used to turn something back to its original form…

I got bored of studying and now I was only doodling in my book, the clock in front of the chimney marked 5:30, I have absolutely no idea when my dad is going to let me leave, probably when dinner starts, but what if he makes me have dinner here?

I really wanted to take a nap, maybe he won't notice if I fall asleep for a couple of minutes anyway, he's too busy with whatever he's reading. I closed my eyes and was starting to fall asleep when I heard flames, so I opened my eyes, how did he manage to find out about it so quickly?

Luckily it wasn't him the one who created the flames, but the chimney in the room had the typical green flames created with Floo Powder and a piece of paper was launched from there. My dad waved lazily his wand and the paper went flying to him (I'm assuming he used Accio) and started to read it; when he finished, he growled and looked at me, what did I do now?

—It's for you.

For me? I put the book I was 'reading' in the couch and got up, when I got close to his desk I grabbed the paper from his hand and started to read it, hating every word I was reading.

Your detention will take place at eleven o'clock tonight. Mr Filch will be waiting for you in the Entrance Hall.

Prof.

—So, are we really going to the f-forbidden forest?

—So, you did hear that part…

—D-dad I can't go there, and you know it. —Ever since he started to tell me about all the dangerous things that live there, that has been my greatest fear so far, I even had nightmares for a while, so I started to cry and my hands were shaking.— I-I still remember all the things you said that live there… The centaurs and the… The werewolves… Please, dad, do something.

The tears were blocking my view, but I could still see him getting up from his chair and getting close to me, I was surprised when I felt his arms around me so I hugged him tightly, like if nothing could hurt me as long as I was hugging him.

—I know, I… —He started to stroke my hair and I relaxed just a little bit.— I really tried that you, all of you, had another detention but Dumbledore insisted that that would be a good lesson for all of you. Draco included.

—Draco? But… Why? Aren't you the one who's supposed to decide his detention as his Head of House?

I was still hugging him, so my voice sounded a bit muffled, but I'm sure he heard me anyway.

—Yes, that is one of the things the Head of House is for, but those were Dumbledore's orders. I am afraid the years are finally catching up to him. —I chuckled at that and even though I couldn't see him, I knew that he was smiling.— I am afraid I cannot do something to avoid you going there, but at least I can give you a Calming Draught so that you can be calmer.

—I shouldn't take it, right? That's not what Gryffindors do, I'm supposed to be brave.

—Eileen. —He stopped hugging me and he got on one knee so that he could be at my height and look me straight in the eyes, he had his hands on my shoulders and was squeezing them a little.— One thing is being brave and another thing is being foolish, you are not less brave just because you are scared. Admitting that you are scared is a very brave thing to do. Just because you are a Gryffindor does not mean that you must jump to danger without thinking about the consequences. Is it clear?

—Yes, dad.

—Good. —Before getting up on his feet, he gave me a quick (and extremely rare) kiss on my forehead and then walked to the cabinet at the end of his office.— I am sure I have here all the ingredients to prepare a Calming Draught, do you want to wait here, studying, or want to help me prepare it?

—I want to help!

I ran to his workshop before he could change his mind, it was also rare the moments that he would let me help him make potions, especially when they were complicated; after putting my hair in a high ponytail, I helped him collect all the ingredients and we spent the rest of the day making the potion.