"Stop that."
"Stop what?" I regret the words as soon as they're out of my mouth. Alice's instruction pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts long enough to realize I've had my thumb in my mouth, chewing at the nail there. Loudly.
"Sorry," I mumble, tucking my hands into my back pockets in hopes that I stop picking at the nails.
It's been three days since I've talked to Angela. Edward didn't think it'd be enough to throw her off the woman's trail, but Angela's still alive, which means it did something. And not for nothing, today marks two days in a row that Alice had had normal visions. Things were seemingly going back to normal and while everyone else began to relax, my anxiety began to grow.
It appears that I don't know how to sit and do nothing while butterflies flutter in my stomach and newly imaginable worst-case-scenarios pop into my head. Now that I've given up nail biting, I've moved onto pacing and counting my steps.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
"Where is she now?" I ask Alice. Again. It's all I've been asking her since Edward told me she'd had a clear vision.
"Bella." Alice shoots me a pointed look out of the corner of her eyes before replacing it with a more sympathetic one. "I know you're nervous, but she's fine. She'll be coming back home Sunday afternoon."
Nodding silently, I try to convince myself that it's better that she's in Seattle this weekend. It's better that she keeps her distance from me. But there's this lingering gut feeling that continues to remind me, should she need my help, I'm more than three hours away.
"Fuck." Running, a hand through my hair, I quicken my pace, but keep the change of direction every third step. "I'm going to call her. Yeah, I-I'll call her and—"
Before I can even reach for my phone, Alice snatches it out of my pocket and places it on the small table, taunting me. It's closer to me than it is to her, but nobody in this room actually believes I'd be able to get to it first.
"You've made a decision," she says matter-of-factly. "Now, commit to it."
Groaning obnoxiously, I throw my body weight onto the empty space next to Alice and shove my head into my hands. She's right, of course. I need to stick to my guns. Regardless of how many holes may be in this plan, it's still a plan and it deserves to be seen through. With Alice watching, she'd be the first to know if anything goes wrong.
Still, my knee bounces furiously under the weight of my elbows and my hands move away from my face and into my hair, pulling at the roots. I feel as if I'm about to scream when a sudden wave of calm forces itself upon me. It stills my legs and my fingers loosen their death grip on my hair, but nerves still flutter lividly in my belly.
My eyes find Jasper across the room, the only explanation for this immediate change in emotion. His eyes are focused on me and I try to offer him a smile, but underneath this tranquilized version of me, it's hard to move the muscles right.
"That's actually very uncomfortable," I tell him, honestly. "Though, I appreciate the sentiment."
"Sorry, Bella." He nods his head, as if tipping his hat to me and I almost find it in me to laugh. "Thought it might help."
Once his influence fades, I almost find myself asking him to bring it back when the anxiety falls so heavily on my chest, I feel like I can't breathe.
"S'okay," I choke out in a whisper. My hands ball up into fists, gripping a sizable amount of fabric from the couch in my palms.
Edward, who had been waiting patiently for my panic to settle, decides he's had enough and finally crouches down in front of me, gently peeling my hands away from Esme's lovely sofa.
"It's alright, love," he whispers softly in my ear. His cold hands give relief to my hot and clammy skin. "Let's take a break."
Lifting my head to meet his soft gaze, I feel my eyes sting. I try to look away, but Edward catches my chin before I can turn. I'm so sick of crying in front of him, but it seems that's all I'm capable of doing these days.
"Come on, love." He grips my forearms lightly, yet firmly. He coaches me out of my seat until I'm standing. "Let's get away for a while."
I let him whisk me into the Volvo, not bothering to stop my tears once he has me buckled in and zooming out of the driveway.
"Would you like to talk about it?" he asks quietly.
Scoffing through the tears, I roll my eyes, drying my face in the process. "Talk about what? Talk about having to choose between Angela hating me or being in danger? Or talk about the fact that this vampire has supposedly disappeared into thin air and no one wants to mention it?"
"Bella, we've talked about this." While his voice is far from demeaning, the meaning is all there in his words.
"No," I correct, glaring at him from the passenger seat. "You talked. You can't seriously believe she just came and went with no rhyme or reason."
"You said it before," he starts. "Forks is a small town. She was probably just passing through. Maybe she got a bit too curious and fled when she caught wind of my family and me."
"Just passing through?!" I repeat incredulously. "How do you explain her messing with Alice's visions? Or keeping herself hidden when she was right in front of you! She's gifted, Edward!"
"A lot of vampires are gifted," he responds calmly.
"That's not the point."
"You're right," Edward sighs, glancing at me for a moment before returning his attention to the road. "The point is you haven't seen her since Wednesday, right?"
Exhaling harshly, I close my eyes, knowing exactly where this is going. "Fine."
"I know this is difficult for you, but I promise, if she wanted anything from you, she would have tried something by now."
After seeing a familiar set of trees pass by, I ask, "Where are we going?"
"Where would you like to go?"
The guilt and remorse I have for Angela twist and turn until it becomes anger. Huffing petulantly in my seat, I answer, "Just take me home."
It's been two weeks now since Angela and I have spoken. The effects of her absence are just as much physical as they are emotional. I find myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, pinching the fat in my thighs that were once muscle. If I really wanted to, I could keep my running routine, but I'd been too afraid of seeing Angela.
"Hey, Bells!"
Quickly throwing on the rest of my clothes, I open the bathroom door. "Yeah, Dad?"
"I'm heading out to help Billy with the turkey," Charlie says from the bottom of the steps. "You want to come?"
Stepping out into the hallway, I give him a questioning look. "What turkey?"
Is she feeling alright? I hope she's been taking her medicine. "For Thanksgiving?"
"Since when do the Quileutes celebrate Thanksgiving?"
Charlie shifts his weight onto his other foot, sighing as he runs a hand over his face. "Bella, we talked about this last week. They just want to do something nice for us since your mother isn't coming."
Rolling my eyes, I lean against the wall. "That doesn't mean we should be honoring the genocide of their people."
"What the—?" Charlie shakes his head and almost walks away before asking, "What's gotten into you? When did you become such a Debbie Downer?"
"Dad, I just don't want to go."
"You don't want to help with the turkey?" he goes on. "Or you don't want to come to Thanksgiving dinner?"
Losing my patience for a moment, I half shriek, half groan. "Stop calling it Thanksgiving! Billy and his family do not want to celebrate Thanksgiving!"
"Fine, Bella." He begins to rub his temple and I can feel the headache beginning to brew there. "It's just dinner."
Chewing my bottom lip, I attempt to block Charlie's emotions from me, but to be honest, it's extremely difficult ignoring the anticipation and exasperation coming off of him in waves.
"You can bring Angela," he offers when I don't say anything. "She hasn't been around much lately. How is that girl anyway?"
Yet another reminder of what's missing. I knew I should've stayed in bed today.
"She's fine," I mutter under my breath and walk back into my room, closing the door firmly behind me.
Was it something I said? Ah, well. Must be one of those girly things. Billy needs me to pick up some paper plates and…
Charlie's train of thought is my only entertainment as I lay under the blanket and stare up at the blank ceiling. I listen to him make mental lists until eventually he leaves through the front door and starts the engine of the old police cruiser.
All too quickly, it becomes eerily silent. No voices. No Edward. And definitely no Angela. This is the sound I'd always craved. Now that I have it, it's too much to bear.
A notification goes off on my phone and my body moves to grab it quickly, proving that the tiny speck of hope I've held onto still hasn't fizzled out yet. And as soon as it came, it went and replaced itself with dejection.
8:00am
Smile!
What I've been longing for is a text message, phone call, something from Angela even though I know I'd given her no reason to want to talk to me at all. The worst part about it is I wouldn't mind that so much as long as it had a purpose.
At first it did. I'd wanted to protect her from Edward's life. Protect her from vampires. Except, it's been two weeks now and this red headed woman is nowhere to be found. Not by Edward's family or even me. She's just gone. I should be happy she's gone.
Instead, I just feel guilty. I'd betrayed Angela's trust, put myself through an emotional wreck and for what? To sit here alone in my bed, staring at a reminder on my phone to take my medicine? A reminder that apparently I'd been ignoring for twenty-two days according to this.
How did I fall so far behind?
With a sudden burst of energy, I sit up straight and take a look around my room with a new perspective.
Dirty clothes are overflowing from the laundry hamper and the once spotless floor is again covered again with a combination of unorganized clothes, shoes and trash.
Dear God. It's happening again. I'm slipping.
A gust of cool air hits my back, pulling me from my thoughts and I turn to see Edward wearing a pensive expression.
"Charlie's not here you know," I remind him. "You could've just used the front door."
Edward doesn't acknowledge my sarcasm and instead asks, "You haven't been taking them, have you?"
"Huh?" I don't realize I've picked up the bottle of pills until he mentions it and I sigh internally. I hadn't overtly talked to him about my struggle with depression, but I wasn't exactly subtle most days and Edward had never asked, therefore failing to ever have a proper conversation about it.
"Not really," I answer, feeling almost embarrassed.
"Why not?"
Shrugging, I say, "I don't know."
I wait to speak, wondering if Edward has any more questions. When he stays silent, I open the bottle and swallow one of the tablets dry. An effort made mostly for Edward, so he can see me take it.
"I don't want you to be unhappy," he says after a long moment. His eyes are a dark brown, almost black, telling me he'll need to hunt soon. But even behind the darkness, I can see the emotion there. The deep concern he has for me reminds me of my father and I have to look away before it makes me cry.
"I'm always unhappy," I reply cynically. Though, I realize he doesn't take the joke very well when I look up to find a frown has pulled his brows and lips into a pinched expression. "Sorry, too soon, I guess."
"You don't have to do this, Bella."
"Yeah, you keep saying that." I pause for a second, trying to get my temper back into control. "But I don't know what exactly you mean. I'm not doing anything. There's nothing to be done!"
"Call Angela," he says. "You miss her."
Narrowing my eyes at him, I scoff. "And say what? 'Hey, it's me, sorry for ditching you. I only did it to save you from a blood-thirsty vampire?'"
My derision seems to be no match for Edward, who simply lets the words roll right off his back. But it's what he says next that makes me realize what an ass I've been. "I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy."
All the anger and frustration I'd been using as a defense mechanism melts away and I'm left to face the repercussions. I'd been taking all of my pent up angst out on him. Even though it had been unintentional, it didn't make it any less true.
Suddenly, I'm replaying all of our spats and stupid arguments. None of them truly warranted the amount of energy I'd wasted yelling at him, of course. And now, I'm left to see all the damage I've done.
Edward, a strong and invincible vampire, is still just a boy. A sweet boy who had been trying to support me, comfort me while I grieved the loss of a great friendship and I'd done nothing but throw it back in his face.
A cold thumb wipes away a tear I didn't know had fallen. "Why are you crying, love?"
Too upset to even try to put my thoughts into words, I pull him down to me, pressing his lips against mine. Edward had been the only constant these last few weeks and yet it feels like I haven't been with him in days.
I let him pull away, knowing he'd never trust himself to be so close to me for an extended amount of time.
"You're not the reason I'm unhappy," I tell him, clasping our hands together in my lap. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way."
"I hope you're not lying for my sake." Edward clears my face of any remaining tears before caressing my chin. "You don't need to worry about me."
"Stop it." I almost push his hands away, but I like the sensation his touch brings. "I'm not lying. I love being with you."
"Are you sure? Just this past week you've been—"
"I know," I interrupt, not wanting to hear what I already know. "I'll do better, I promise. I'm sorry."
Edward leans in again, kissing me chastely on the cheek. "You don't have to be sorry."
"Maybe I just need some fresh air or something," I mumble.
"Speaking of fresh air…" A sudden light brightens his dark eyes and I almost laugh at the giddy expression. He doesn't wear it often.
"What?"
"Alice wants to invite you to a baseball game," he says, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"A baseball game in November? I thought it was out of season."
"My family and I like to play," he explains. "Occasionally."
Snickering at his excitement, I glance at the gray clouds outside. "You do realize there's a storm rolling in?"
"Exactly."
Rolling my eyes, I say, "Fine. You can explain the semantics of it later. When are we playing?"
"Later this afternoon." He stands from the bed and opens my window again. Before jumping, he turns around to look at me. "I'll pick you up at two o'clock."
Offering him a small smile, I nod. "Okay."
Once Edward is gone, I jump out of bed with a new surge of spirit coursing through me. I begin picking up clothes from the floor, performing the sniff test. It's overrated and repulsive, honestly. But it's also effective.
Soon enough, I have two piles of clothes. One to be folded and one to be washed. Both piles appear to be intimidating heaps, but the tasks keep my mind busy and off of Angela.
I take my time folding each piece of fabric carefully, categorizing them by apparel and placing each section in it's own drawer of the dresser. Once every corner is straight, not a thread out of place, I smile to myself. Alice would be proud.
Next, I drag the overflowing hamper down the steps and dump it into the washing machine. I break out the name brand fabric softener that Charlie only likes to use for special occasions (let's get real, that shit's expensive) and add that with the detergent.
Once the first load runs, I work on cleaning the kitchen. I grab the green rubber gloves from the sink, pushing away the memories of nursing Angela with a hangover as I shove my hands in them.
After scrubbing the stove, oven and microwave, I take a small break to switch the laundry from the washer into the dryer and start the second load. Then, I resume my deep cleaning in the kitchen.
The room is damn near spotless by the time both loads of laundry are done. I don't stop to catch a breath, regardless of the sweat that keeps my hair matted on the back of my neck.
I drag the clothes back up to my room and repeat my meticulous folding technique until the dresser is full. For the first time since this morning, I check the time and balk.
It's nearly two already! How had so much time flown by so quickly? God, how bad do I smell right now?
Pushing those worries out of my head, I collect all of the remaining trash on the floor and shove it into a garbage bag. I'm just about to tie it shut when I hear Charlie's cruiser pull back into the driveway.
By the time he's walking in the door, I'm already halfway down the steps.
"Bells?"
"I'm here," I answer a little breathless from the labor of the day.
Charlie tilts his head up slightly, and I can see him picking out the scent of the bleach I used in the kitchen. "Here let me take that," he says, indicating the garbage bag that's already starting to tear on the sides.
I hand him the trash gratefully. "Thanks."
Damn, it smells clean in here. "Is this what you've been up to all day?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Well, you weren't missing much at the Blacks' today." Charlie shrugs off his coat and hangs it up on the closet. "It's a disaster over there. Everyone's runnin' around like chickens with their head cut off. Poor Jake had to help Billy clean the turkey. I thought that boy was going to vomit right on the spot."
Laughing under my breath, I ask, "Could it be because they've never celebrated Thanksgiving before?"
"Alright, alright." Charlie waves me off, turning around to take out the trash. "I get it. But it wasn't my idea, just so you know. Billy offered once I told him Renee wasn't coming."
"That's sweet of him," I say, hating the way I'd made such a big deal out of it earlier. "Tell him thank you."
"You can tell him yourself," Charlie quips playfully. "You are coming tomorrow, aren't you?"
Nodding, I smile as relief washes over him. "Yeah, of course."
"Good, Bells. You know it's been so long since you've seen everybody there. Billy misses you, he hasn't seen you since you were little. I've missed you too. I-I mean, I know you've been home more recently…"
His embarrassment is almost amusing, the way he shuffles his feet and plays with the overgrown hair on the back of his head. I have to bite my lip to keep from giggling.
"...but you know, I'm thinking maybe we can spend some more time together. You know, like, bonding time or—"
"Dad." I have to cut him off before he has a stroke and while he poses like he's surprised, I know he's actually relieved he doesn't have to continue. "I was going to ask if I could see Edward today. Just for a while."
He tries his best to hide the irritation that comes when he imagines me with another boy, but fails miserably when he scoffs aloud and rests his hands on his hips. "When am I going to meet this boy, huh? You've been putting it off forever now."
Before I can answer, a sudden rap at the door grabs both of our attention. Judging by the silence, there can only be one person behind it.
"Uh…" I take a look at Charlie, mentally gauging his reaction. "Is now good for you?"
"Aw, hell," he moans. "Where's my gun?"
"Dad."
While he continues to make a scene of searching for the shotgun, I open the door. "Hey."
"Hello, love." Edward steps inside, kissing me on the forehead as he moves. I'm surprised to see his eyes are still such a dark color. I thought he'd use the time apart to go hunting. Truthfully, hunt or no hunt, I'm happy to see him.
"Dad, this is Edward," I introduce him once Charlie's done acting like a fool. "Edward, this is my dad."
Edward is the first to extend his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Swan."
Charlie grunts in response. I have to elbow him in his side to get him to knock it off. "Yeah, you too, Edmund."
"Can you be nice?" I hiss at him.
Edward doesn't let it bother him. In fact, I think he finds it funny, seeing how his smile widens. "If it's alright, I'd like to take Bella to play some baseball with my family."
"Bella?" Charlie looks from Edward to me and then back to him. "My Bella's going to play baseball?"
"I'll just be watching," I interject. "It's not a big deal."
Can't believe it took some hot jock to finally turn my Bella into a sports fan. At least there's something I like about him. "Well, you two just be careful. There's a thunderstorm coming and I don't want you caught in it."
"We'll be safe," I tell him as I grab my jacket. "I'll be back later."
Charlie doesn't even look at me, instead holds eye contact with Edward. "You take care of my daughter."
He nods once. "Yes, sir."
On that note, we finally leave the house and climb into the safety of Edward's Volvo.
"You could have given me some warning," I complain once out of earshot. "That was so awkward."
"It wasn't that bad," he argues. "Besides, I've been wanting to meet him officially for a while now."
"Yeah, well...still!" I groan, but it quickly turns into a laugh when I see Edward smiling next to me. "I wasn't prepared for that at all!"
"I'm sorry, love. I promise I'll let you decide when I should meet your mother next."
"It's not my mother we need to worry about," I tell him. "It was Charlie who was searching the house for his gun."
He chuckles. "Good thing I'm bulletproof."
"Thank God for small miracles."
Edward plays classical music as he drives and we let the sound from the speakers do all the talking for us. He keeps one hand on my knee and I absentmindedly trace the muscles in his forearm as I watch the trees pass by.
"Where are we going?" I ask when he takes us to the highway.
"Not far," he answers. "Everyone's waiting for us in a clearing just ahead."
Once the highway bends in the direction of a river, Edward pulls off-road, following a dirt trail that's barely big enough to fit the width of the car.
"Should we be walking?" I ask as a tree branch comes dangerously close to scratching the windshield.
"We're safe, Bella." There's a hint of amusement in his voice. "Do you trust me?"
"I trust you."
Shortly after, the path opens up to a wide field with a waterfall in the very back that feeds into the river.
"It's beautiful out here." Leaning against the dashboard, I take in the view, never mind the darkening clouds above. "I can't believe I've never seen this!"
"Not many do," Edward comments. "It's easy to miss the trail when you're driving at high speeds."
"I think I see Alice."
He parks the car close to the line of trees and races around in a blur to open the door for me. "Are you ready?"
"To watch a bunch of vampires play baseball?" Giggling, I step out of the car and interlace our fingers. "Sure."
I'm surprised to see Rosalie there with the group when we finally catch up to them. I'm not sure why, considering it is her family after all. I'd just never put the ideas of Rosalie and fun together.
Alice is the first to greet me. She hugs me tight, whispering how much she's missed me in my ear. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," I say quickly. I'm about to shoot Edward an irritated look for telling Alice how I'd been feeling and then I remember she'd probably seen it for herself.
"Hey, Bella." Jasper comes to stand next to Alice, laying his arm casually around her shoulders. "We thought you could use a pick-me-up."
Smiling up at him, I nod. "I appreciate that."
"You can umpire with me, Bella." Esme gestures for me to join her and I eagerly follow. "How are you, sweetie?"
"Good. Sorry, I haven't been around."
"Nonsense." She brushes me off and I'm comforted by her motherly nature. "We're just happy you're alright. I'm glad you decided to join us today."
Smiling as I watch the group mingle in front of us, I flinch a little as the first raindrop smacks me dead in the forehead.
"Did you bring a hat, dear?"
When I shake my head no, Esme snatches the baseball cap off of her head and hands it to me. I feel like I should decline the offer, but the truth is she didn't really need it.
"Thank you." Pulling the cap over my head, Esme helps me pull my hair back. "So, what are they all waiting for?"
"Once the thunder sounds, they can start playing."
Still not understanding, I ask, "You need thunder to play baseball?"
Esme chortles to herself. "You'll see."
As if on cue, a slow clap of thunder grumbles behind the clouds.
"It's time," Esme states. "Get behind me, Bella. Everyone ready?"
I take a few steps back with Esme until we've made a good distance from the group. Alice pitches first while Jasper steps up to bat.
"I wish I knew how to follow baseball," I say quietly.
With a soft chuckle, Esme replies, "Don't worry, I'll give you pointers."
Another clap of thunder sounds, this one much louder than the first. It's not until I see a blur of motion on the field that I realize it hadn't been thunder at all. It had been Jasper.
"Oh, my God!" Esme chuckles again in front of me. "Okay, I think I get it now."
"You see?"
"That's got to be a home run, right?" I ask. I can make out Jasper by his blonde hair as he races across the field towards second base. Both Edward and Emmett were missing, likely chasing the ball.
"We'll see," she says. "Edward's very fast."
It's hard to keep track of what happens after that. Similar to lightning, my human senses only pick up on the ball flying after the loud smack of hitting the bat. Thankfully, Esme keeps her word and tells me every detail. Rosalie tags out before getting back to home base (which she didn't take very well), Edward and Emmett prove to make a hell of a team as they catch the balls that should've been called out and Jasper and Alice spend most of the game teasing each other.
I'm about to ask what the score is when everyone comes to a shuddering stop. I recognize Alice's blank expression immediately and going by the panicked look Edward makes just behind her, I know whatever she's seeing isn't good.
"Stop!" Alice drops the baseball and Esme takes my hand as we get closer. "Everyone stop!"
"What's wrong?" I move to touch Alice but Edward's already pulled me into his side. "What did you see?"
She shares a look with Edward and then Jasper. "They're coming."
"Who?" I demand, the nerves coming alive again. "Who's coming?"
When she doesn't answer right away, I turn to look at Edward. His eyes are darker than they were before, from hunger or determination, I wasn't sure. Either way, it isn't a good sign.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispers. "I shouldn't have brought you here."
Rosalie hisses quietly across from us. "You think?"
"Is it her?" I ask, knowing I don't have to explain who I mean.
"Everybody shut up," Rosalie mutters. "I can smell them, they're close."
Carlisle, speaking quietly to Esme first, addresses the rest of us. "Stay calm. Let's not make a scene."
Edward pulls gently at my hair tie and I push his hands away, knowing he'd be too tender to do it himself.
"Like that'll help," Rosalie scoffs. "I can smell her from across the field."
"Cut it out, Rose," Alice snaps. "You're not helping."
Glaring at me, she says, "Neither is she."
Edward pushes us to the back of the group. "Stay behind me, and don't make a sound."
My heart begins to race and I have to force myself to take slow and controlled breaths to keep it steady. My only hope is that a steady-beating heart goes unnoticed as opposed to a panicked, racing one.
On the other side of the clearing, I begin to make out three figures. The one in front, from what I can see from here, is easily the most striking of them all. Underneath the typical vampire pallor is dark olive-colored skin. His hair hung down his shoulders, accentuating the muscles there, but came nowhere close to Emmett's build.
The man behind him is the complete opposite. He had dirty blonde hair, like Jasper's and that's just about the end of their similarities. There didn't seem to be anything remarkable about him except for the deep burgundy eyes they both shared.
And just to the left of both men came the creature I'd become most familiar with. The woman's orange hair is brighter than I'd remembered, more like a flame. There's no wind here, but the fire around her face seems to shimmer slightly, as if it were alive.
Her eyes are locked on mine and I know that whatever she's come for, she won't leave without. She won't leave without me.
I grip onto Edward's hand tighter. His cold touch reminds me that this is not a dream. This is not a nightmare I can wake myself up from. This is real. And it's only going to get worse from here.