Danny's POV

I droved to the cemetery after I dropped the guys off, I parked my car where my brother's gravestone was. I stared at it feeling depressed, so I got out of my car and walked over to it. "Hey bro." I quietly say. "I know we'll be here on Christmas to visit you, but…after talking about you…I just had to come and see you."

I slowly knelt down.

"And Daisy, she's great." I said. "You'd love her, greatest and most adorable little girl you've ever seen."

I sniffled a little.

"Derek, I missed you so much." I whispers. "But it's so hard to be strong."

I closed my eyes and open them letting out a sigh.

"Epically around mom, dad, and Daisy….and the guys." I said.

I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"And to be honest….it's hard to be the big brother." I admits. "I tried to be tough, brave and cool…but it's just…pointless."

I felt tears began to well up.

"I mess up everything." I said. "I almost mess up my friendships with my boys…and I messed up big time with the true love of my life.

I tried to stop the tears from coming, and started to feel rage.

"I just don't know what to do anymore!" I screamed as I stood up.

I took a deep breath.

"I failed you." I said.

I looked back at my brother's grave stone.

"I tried brother." I said.

I looked down, slightly kicked the dirt.

"I tried to be just like you." I said. "I wanted to be like my big brother…being cool, tough and brave…just like you."

I looked back the gravestone.

"But it failed like always." I stated.

I looked away and letting out a laugh.

"You know, I am so sick of this." I said. "I am so sick of people always expecting me to be this tough and cool guy who can't shed a freakin' tear."

I let out a breath.

"How do you do it?" I asked. "How do you act so cool and tough, not letting anyone or anything scare you?"

I turned to my car, resting my hands on the hood of my car and closing my eyes to try stopping the tears as I let out a big breathe.

"Life is so hard bro." I whispered.

I let out a sigh.

"I'll see you on Christmas brother, I gotta go." I said getting in my car.

I looked over at the gravestone.

"I love you big brother." I said. "And please give me a sign that everything's gonna be ok." I begged.

So I started the car and glanced up to see a white figure standing behind couple of trees in front of me. I squinted my eyes a little, but I blinked and saw nothing.

"The heck…" I asked.

But I just shrugged it off and drove off home.