Will was by his side while he sat in the sterile hospital room, picking at his bandages.
Will was by his side when the nurse came in to unhook him from all the machines.
Will was by his side when Dr. Charles came in and said that it was time to go.
And Will was by his side all the way to the entrance doors of the psychiatric ward where Jay would be staying for at least the next 3 days.
But soon, too soon, it was time for Will to not be by his side anymore. And that was not a fact that Jay was handling well at all.
"Unfortunately this is where we have to say goodbye." Dr. Charles informed his newest patient.
Jay's eyes shot to Will and he squeezed his hand tighter. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding it up until that point.
Will laid a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You got this."
Jay felt his heart begin to race as his palms grew sweaty. He wasn't afraid to be on his own. He was on his own plenty. And he wasn't afraid to be without his brother the majority of the time… Except for when he was in the hospital.
"Can I just have a second to talk to my brother?" Jay asked Dr. Charles as he stood from his wheelchair, immediately grabbing the back of his hospital gown to be sure it was closed.
Will smiled and helped him tie it a bit better before turning to Dr. Charles as well.
The older doctor nodded and stepped over to the receptionists desk to give them some space.
When Jay was sure he could no longer be heard, he turned to Will, staring directly into his eyes with an intensity the eldest brother had never seen before. "Will," he stated, "you have to get me out of here."
Will smiled for about half a second before he realized that as ridiculous as that sounded, it was not meant as a joke. "Jay, I can't do that..." his voice dropped as he ended his sentence.
Jay's eyes grew wide and he grabbed onto Will's arm. "I'm serious, man. I can't stay here. You know I hate hospitals. You know how freaked out they make me. That's why you've been with me this whole time! But in there..."
"In there I can't be with you." Will finished the thought.
"Exactly." Jay concluded. "So you gotta get me out of here."
"How do I do that?" Will asked, not really sure what else to say.
"Take me home. Hell, take me to your house. You and Nat are both doctors. You can watch me. I swear I won't leave your place. And I'll do whatever you tell me. I'll even come do therapy with Dr. Charles during the day if he wants me to. I just can't stay here." The panic was rising and Will knew this was gonna get ugly if he didn't deal with it right away.
"Buddy, I wish I could take you home. Really, I do..." Will began, pausing to take a deep breath. "But, the thing is... that's not an option. After what happened with Haley and Adam..."
"They forgave me!" Jay cut in.
"They did. Everyone did. That's not the point though..." Will tried to continue, but again was interrupted.
"Then what's the point?"
His voice had raised loud enough that Dr. Charles and the security guards were all watching carefully, but Dr. Charles motioned for security to stay back as he observed.
"The point is that you shot a co-worker and beat up your partner before going home and drinking enough alcohol that you would have died had I not gotten to you when I did. You are a danger to yourself and others, and until that is no longer the case you cannot be walking around Chicago. Period."
Jay stared at Will and shuttered as if his words hit him like a bucket of ice water. "It wasn't me." He whispered. "I thought you understood that." A tear slid down his cheek and guilt immediately stabbed through Will's heart. "It wasn't me!" Jay repeated a little louder. "It wasn't me!"
As his voice echoed in the empty-ish room, Will pulled his brother close against his chest.
Jay pushed back, trying to free himself from the grip, but it was no use. Especially not with his most recent injuries stinging and stretching with every movement. Finally he allowed himself to collapse into his brother's chest and let him hold him there as he cried over and over again, "it wasn't me."
Will kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back soothingly. "But it was. It was you. It wasn't on purpose, but it was your hands. Your gun. Your actions."
"I... I didn't... I wouldn't... I..." Jay was finding it difficult to even form thoughts now, and he didn't know how to argue.
"Shhhh..." Will coaxed. "In your right mind, you would never."
Jay nodded, not daring to lift his face from his brothers now tear stained shirt.
"That's why you're here, and not in a jail cell." Will whispered. "It's why Voight is holding your badge and your spot in Intelligence still. It's why you're not in handcuffs. Jay, I know this is scary. And I understand that you don't want to do it. But I swear to you, I would not let you walk through those doors if I didn't have complete faith in Dr. Charles and his team. They can help you to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again."
"I don't trust them." Jay confessed.
Will nodded. It took Jay a long time to trust anyone. "Do you trust me?"
Jay thought for a moment before he nodded. "Yes."
"Then trust me when I tell you that this could very well be the greatest thing you ever do for yourself in your life."
At that, Jay looked up. His cheeks were wet and red. His hair was a mess and his blue eyes still held a glimmer of fear. "Can you visit me?"
Will glanced over at Dr. Charles, and then back to Jay. "Maybe..." he said honestly. "It's up to him and what he decides is best for you."
"It's best for me to see you at least once a day." Jay said confidently, taking a deep breath to steady his voice.
Will smiled and nodded, giving his brother another hug. "I agree. So do what they say and work the program. You got this." Then he turned and nodded to Dr. Charles who quickly joined them and placed a hand on Jay's shoulder.
"Ready?" He asked.
Jay just shook his head, but stood anyway.
"Love you." Jay mouthed to Will, not able to form audible words at the moment.
Dr. Charles put an arm around Jay and pried his fingers off Will's arm before leading him in, allowing the large locked door to close behind him.
A nurse had already taken the wheelchair away that Jay had arrived in, and Will was standing alone. He stared intently at the doors, seriously considering just how difficult it would really be to break through them. He considered for a moment that his hospital badge may actually be enough to unlock them, but before he could try, he felt a firm arm drape over his shoulders.
He turned to see Conner at his side. One look and Conner held up a finger before leading Will into a dark, empty storage closet. No one would come in there. There was nothing in there. He flipped the light switch and a dim light illuminated the small boxed room they stood in. Then, Conner turned back to Will and pulled him into a hug.
Normally, Will wouldn't break down like this with another guy. He had a hard enough time doing it with Natalie around. But this wasn't a normal circumstance. So he buried his face into Conner's red scrubs and cried, and cried, and cried.
Once he felt like he had regained a bit of composure, Conner laid a hand on his back and led him back to the ED. It felt good to be in familiar territory. Psych wasn't something he knew. He didn't feel like he belonged in that world. But in the ED, he knew exactly where he fit.
He didn't automatically jump back into it though. He hadn't worked since bringing Jay in. Natalie had brought him clothes to change into a couple days ago, so he would need some new scrubs. He couldn't even think about what else he may need.
Conner led him to the nurses station and stopped in front of Maggie. "I return to you, your favorite rebellious ED doctor. He's not in exactly the same condition as he was the last time you saw him, but he's fixable. I think."
Conner smiled and Maggie gave him a warm "welcome back" hug. It took every ounce of strength Will had to not start crying all over again, but he managed to hold it in. "Thank you, Dr. Rhodes. I'll take good care of him."
Conner chuckled and smacked Will on the back. "I know you will. I'll come check in a little later."
Will just smiled, afraid that opening his mouth would ruin his whole facade.
"Let's get you some scrubs." Maggie said, taking control of the situation. It was clear right away that Will had other things on his mind and would require a bit of guidance. After producing a fresh, clean pair, she walked him to the doctors lounge and handed them to him. "Go get changed and wash your face. You can do this."
He just nodded and did as he was told.
Maggie sat on the couch to wait and soon Natalie entered. "Is Will in there?" she asked quickly.
Maggie nodded. "He is."
"Did they take Jay…?"
Again Maggie nodded.
"How is he?" she asked, hesitantly.
Maggie gave a sympathetic smile and sighed. "He's trying."
Will exited the bathroom soon after entering and was relieved to see Natalie's face. She immediately clasped his face in her hands and kissed his lips. "I love you."
"Love you too."
"Are you gonna try to work today?" She asked.
Will shrugged. "I can't go home alone. So I might as well."
"I have a patient I could use a little help with, if you're interested?" Natalie offered. "16 year old boy collapsed during his school football game after his heart suddenly stopped. Paramedics were able to restart it on scene, but I've run every test and can't seem to find anything that explains why this happened in the first place."
Will took the chart and quickly scanned it. "Sure." he agreed, following her out of the lounge and to the treatment room where their patient was waiting.
Meanwhile in the psych ward, Jay was struggling to settle in. Dr. Charles had led him to a room that was mostly empty other than a bed, lamp, and nightstand. They'd kept his phone and other personal items in a locker somewhere, which left him with nothing to entertain himself with. Jay wasn't entirely sure what he expected this to be like, but he certainly thought that Dr. Charles would be with him the whole time. He never thought he'd be alone.
After a little bit, there was a knock at the door. He looked out the small square window as a nurse let herself in, pushing a cart. "I have some lunch for you." she said.
Jay shook his head. "No thanks." he felt sick to his stomach and the idea of eating made him feel instantly nauseous.
She smiled kindly and set a tray on his nightstand anyway. "Incase you change your mind." Then she left.
As Jay sat there, he replayed his brother's words again. It was this or jail. But what Will didn't seem to know was that this was jail. He was locked in a small room, one window that was way too strong to break, and a bed. The only difference as far as he could tell so far was that in jail they had toilets and sinks in the cell. But here, if he needed to use the restroom, he had to call a nurse and walk with her to the large open space where she proceeded to watch him do his thing. Okay, so she wasn't exactly watching him. She had the decency to turn her back to him at least for the majority of the time. But still, she was right there. They didn't even do this to the prisoners. As Jay glanced at the food that sat on his nightstand, he couldn't help but wonder how long he'd actually be able to survive without needing to use the restroom. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he had even scanned the room for a good corner to go in if he absolutely had to. He would complain about a smell later on and insist that whoever had the room before him must have done it. Anything to avoid further humiliation.
Eventually a nurse came in with a bottle of water and a basket of books. "Not hungry?" she asked, noticing the untouched food."
Jay shook his head.
"Would you like some water?" she offered, holding the bottle out to him.
But again, Jay just shook his head.
She placed it on the nightstand and put the basket of books beside him. "What about something to read? You're probably pretty bored."
No response.
"You know," she said, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "I've worked here for quite awhile, and there's one fool proof method for getting out."
Jay looked at her, still not wanting to speak, but also curious.
The nurse smiled and leaned forward as if she was about to reveal a massive secret. "The one thing that has worked for everyone that has managed to leave this place is… talking."
Jay sighed and slammed his head back into the wall in frustration. The wall didn't move, and his head bounced off of it like it was made of rubber.
"Careful." The nurse laughed, standing and laying a hand on the back of his head.
Jay turned away from her and laid into the pillow.
"Hey, I was just being honest with you." she said. "But if you want to lay here and pout for awhile, that's your choice. Let someone know when you're ready to go home." She turned and walked out the door, leaving Jay alone to stare at the wall, angrily. He closed his eyes tightly, wanting nothing more than to just sleep through this entire 72 hour period. Yet something told him that wasn't going to be a simple task. Something told him that getting out of this prison was going to take everything in him. Maybe even his last breath.
Authors Note: Hey guys! I'm not dead! I don't know how many of you also are reading Whumpstead A-Z, but I posted an update over there a couple weeks ago with a long explanation of where I've been and why it's taken so long for me to update. I don't want to re-write all of that, so I'll just say I've been having some health issues that got a little out of hand these last few months and kept me from posting. They didn't keep me from writing completely, so I do have pieces of chapters that I've worked on here and there (and some things for new stories), but I don't have a whole pile of chapters waiting to go up. I'm working on it though and trying to get caught up. The one thing I did want to include here that I mentioned over there is that I've been considering telling my personal medical story that's been taking place over the past year, but through a One Chicago character. Obviously, I love writing Halstead brother stuff. So originally I was just debating between making the story focus around Will or Jay. But I'm open to other characters as well if you guys are interested in reading something different. I know that anyone reading this story is obviously a fan of Jay whump, and I definitely love reading and writing it as well! But I have some story ideas for later focused more around Severide, Casey, and possibly even Antonio. So at some point I do plan to spread the whump around. And as much as I write this stuff for my own enjoyment, I also obviously want to write things that you guys will enjoy as well. So let me know what you'd like to see. Who isn't getting enough whump in the One Chicago universe? What would you like to see happen to them? I'm open to anything and everything. And even if I don't end up choosing who you wanted for my personal medical journey story, that doesn't mean I won't take your suggestions into consideration at a later point. So yeah, let me know what you want to see. :)
P.S. Those premiers though... right?