Summer 2014

Both Max and Zoey had decided they didn't want to continue on with a Master's degree right away. It was time for a little practical experience in the real world of computers. So when Max walked out of that last exam suddenly the world felt about ten times bigger. He was done. Done being a full time student forever. It was a strange kind of feeling.

"How do you think you did on that last one?" Zoey asked. They'd met up after the exam at the coffee shop on campus. "I mean I wasn't really sure about question twelve, kinda guessed. Did you know it?"

"I have no idea," Max laughed.

"What's the use of us taking the same exam if we can't talk about it afterwards?" Zoey asked.

"It's nice to have a study buddy?" Max offered. She just laughed and fake punched his arm.

"Ow," Max mocked her, before they got up together and headed out. They were catching the bus today like they did everyday headed home from classes. It was only during the winter months that they got rides home from their parents when the snow got high or the temperature dropped below thirty.

"Have you at least finished applying to all the jobs I sent you?" Zoey asked as they began walking to the bus stop.

"How could I not," Max chuckled. "With you reminding me every ten seconds."

"We have to work at the same company!" Zoey exclaimed. "I told you I already decided this."

"You don't have control over everything in the universe Zoey," Max reminded her affectionately. "They might only want one of us even if we both apply."

"Well then we can just refuse until they want both of us," Zoey replied stubbornly.

"Yeah that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard," he said. "Fresh out of school without any experience means you take what you can get."

Zoey just waved her hand dismissively and added, "Oh and working at the same company means we could carpool to work, sinceI assume at least one of us will end up with a car once we have jobs."

"That is a logical assumption," Max replied. "Since not all the jobs we applied for are on good bus routes."

"Same job, plus carpooling to and from," Zoey said with a grin. "School or no school, this plan is perfect to maintain the best friend status."

"Such faith," Max laughed. "After all this time, our entire lives, how could you doubt we'd stay best friends after school."

"Life has a way of moving people in different directions," Zoey explained. "And I just don't want that to happen to us." She paused as if for effect then added in an annoyed tone. "Especially since someone vetoed the best idea I had to work out some sort of system."

Max just shrugged innocently.

"Oh come one!" Zoey whined. "You know it would be so great to move out of our parents places and we could manage it with two incomes. It makes so much sense."

"Nope," Max repeated, with a smile. He so rarely refused her anything, but having found his hill to die on Max actually found it rather fun to turn her down.

"Spoil sport," Zoey grumbled.

"Just get one of your gal pals to split rent with you," Max suggested.

"They all have plans already," Zoey grumbled.

"Oh well then," Max smiled.

"Why are you so against this anyway?" Zoey whined. "I mean we could turn every night into our movie night! No parents around. First time out in the world as an adult with your best friend! What could be better than that?"

"You know why," Max replied easily.

"I do not!" Zoey shot back. "You've never explained."

"I have so," Max chuckled. "Besides it's obvious."

"Not to me," Zoey said stubbornly. Max stopped, turning to face her. Had she really not figured it out? How could that be possible?

Standing there facing her with those beautiful honest curious eyes of hers all Max wanted was to kiss her. It was like she was a magnet and he couldn't pull away. The backflip sensations in his stomach were just the same as they'd been from the start. Even while enjoying the sensation Max was extremely frustrated with himself. Why couldn't he just move past this? Like really! How many years of unrequited love and he still got butterflies! It was just ridiculous.

"It's just not a good idea," Max replied, taking a step back from her and continuing to walk towards the bus stop which was in view now. Zoey grumbled something under her breath. He couldn't make out the words, but he got the general idea. She was annoying at not getting an answer.

But what was he supposed to say? 'Sorry I can't move in with you as just your roommate because I'm still totally in love with you even after trying not to be for years.' Was she really gonna make him say it! Couldn't she just figure it out on her own so it didn't get weird?

They got on the bus and the topic switched to the exam they'd just taken. Max decided to resign himself to the conversation. He wasn't ever the slightest bit interested in talking about tests after they were over but he'd rather talk about exam questions than have her ask again why they couldn't be roommates.

By the time they got off the bus Max was pretty sure they'd all but gone over every question a thousand times. How this girl got off being so smart and so beautiful he had no idea. It truly was an unfair combination. Stupid beautiful, brilliant Zoey, always messing with his head. No wonder he couldn't get over her!

"What's with that face?" Zoey asked him as they were walking away from the bus stop they'd just been dropped at.

"Huh," Max replied, a bit distracted. "Oh nothing."

"No it's not nothing," Zoey didn't let him off the hook. "I've seen that look on your face before lots of times, but you never tell me what it means."

Max just shrugged. "I was just thinking," he said. 'About you,' he added, but only in his own mind.

"Yeah about what?" Zoey asked.

"I don't have to tell you everything, you know," Max grinned at her. Again he found denying her something quite a lot more enjoyable than he'd expected. Actually now that he thought about it, not telling her what he was thinking when he was thinking romantically about her, and not agreeing to be roommates with her might actually be the only times in their entire relationship that he'd ever denied her anything. That is if you don't count his needing space after that disastrous love confession two winters ago.

"Urg I hate it when you do that," Zoey groaned, as they turned the corner onto their street.

"Do what?" Max chuckled.

"Don't tell me things," Zoey replied.

"Zoey, I tell you everything," Max told her easily with a slightly frustrated sigh.

"Uh uh," Zoey disagreed with a shake of her head. "What were you thinking about just now and why can't we be roommates?"

"Okay so I've only ever not told you two things," Max laughed. "All in all that really isn't bad you know."

"Still bugs me," Zoey grumbled. She was so adorable, Max couldn't resist reaching out his hand to mess up her hair, but he resisted the urge to move his hand down to the side of her face and cup her cheek.

"You're doing it again!" Zoey groaned. "That look on your face. What does it mean?"

"I hate to break it to you Zo," Max laughed. "But your mad face today isn't all that scary."

"Just tell me!" Zoey exclaimed. Max dropped the teasing tone. She'd never been this serious about it before. It didn't make any sense.

Max let out the breath he'd been holding slowly. "But I have told you," Max whiserped.

"Tell me again," Zoey smiled up at him.

There was a long pause in which Max wasn't quite sure what to do. In the end though he gave in.

"I love you," Max told her simply. The expression on her face told him that this time his tone must have reflected the type of love he meant. Feeling like this was his chance to properly elaborate before she never wanted him to talk about it again, Max continued. "From the moment I first saw you, Zoey you pulled at my heart until one day when I wasn't even paying attention you held it in your hand and it's been yours ever since."

"That's what I was thinking about just now," Max finished in a more casual voice. "And that's why I can't be your roommate." Max turned to face forward and started walking again, deciding it was best to act like this was no big deal. "And since technically you know all this already, I really don't understand why you were so insistent." Still he couldn't help but smile. This time had felt more like how he'd wanted to tell her in the first place. Pity it was wasted on a repeat explanation, but still he was glad he got to say it better.

"I wonder what Maggie is making for dinner tonight," Max said, conversational looking up at the sky as he walked. "I know my dad's out at some meeting or something so mom probably won't do anything special."

He stopped and turned only when he realized Zoey wasn't walking beside him. "You okay?" he asked. She didn't speak. "Sorry I guess I shouldn't have brought it up, though you did insist." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood and tell her everything was okay all at the same time.

"I don't get it," Zoey finally spoke, moving forward just a little to be standing a few feet in front of him again. "How you can say that and then laugh?"

"This is old news, Zoey," Max said gently. "I've come to terms with it. I can be your friend."

"When you first told me I- I- thought," Zoey began. "Well, I don't know what I thought. I wasn't exactly in the best head space. I couldn't imagine you meant it to the degree you believed you did." She paused, still looking up at him. Max almost wanted to hold his breath, scared that if he interrupted she'd stop talking.

"Then things seemed to get better and I didn't worry about it anymore," Zoey continued. "But still the way you'd reacted to me calling it a crush," -she paused taking a deep breath- "I couldn't help thinking about it sometimes.

What if you'd been as serious as you seemed? What did that mean about my past actions? Ignorant of how you were feeling, did I hurt you? But again you seemed better so I tried not to worry."

"And then just now. The way you spoke. You're so sure. Not a single shred of doubt in your voice. Completely resigned. It's like it's become normal for you to hold back with me. How can you be okay with that?"

"I need you in my life," Max stated simply and with perfect certainty.

"That's it!" Zoey almost yelled. "How can it really be that simple!?" They were standing right in the middle of the street now, just a few houses over from theirs.

"You don't want to date me," Max stated. "And I can't lose you. What other options do I have?"

And just like that Zoey was crying. They were silent tears rolling down her face and the very sight of them made Max reach forward and hold her in his arms. It was a reflex, action taken without thought.

"Why?" Zoey wept. "Why?"

"I don't understand," Max replied.

She pulled out of the hug, and turned her tear stained face to look up at him. "You're always there when I need you, always make everything about me. All I do is hold you at arm's length and yet you're still here. Still putting herself second, still-" her words were cut off by her sobs.

Gently, lifting the love of his life into his arms, Max carried her past their neighbors to her home. He knew she wouldn't want the neighbors to see her cry. The front door of the house was unlocked which meant Maggie was home though not near the door so Max carried Zoey all the way up the stairs into her room. Placing her softly on the bed, Max sat beside her.

"Home now," Max smiled at her. "So you can relax. Everything is fine. There's no need to cry, Zo." All he wanted was to stop her from crying, but he hadn't a clue how to do that, because he really didn't understand why she was crying in the first place.

Zoey sat up, staring at him with this strange look in her eyes. "You're so stupid," she told him, before flinging her arms around his neck and planting a peck on his lips.

Max hardly knew how to react. The shock and indecision kept him frozen. Still he could taste the salt of her tears in their kiss, but before he could so much as process what had happened it was over.

"Why'd you do that?" Max whispered, stunned.

"You deserve better than second," Zoey told him.

Max didn't really understand, but his self control was unable to resist a Zoey who wanted to kiss him. Holding back with her took energy, energy which he suddenly no longer possessed. Reaching forward with all the desperation of a drowning man in need of a life raft, Max pulled her in and kissed her properly. His one hand cupped her cheek, and then quickly moved down her back. The feelings pounding through him were unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Love required was making his heart pound like his head might explode.

"Are you sure Zoey?" Max gasped, when they broke apart. She had quite literally taken his breath away, but even so he wanted to understand.

"I'm scared," she said. "But I'd be lying if I said I'd never wondered what if."

"Why are you scared?" Max asked, reaching up to place a hand on the side of her cheek. It was a strange kind of relief to touch her this way, casually as if he were allowed to comfort her like a lover and not a friend.

"What if it ends?" Zoey explained. "What if we have a horrible break up and I lose you forever?" Her eyes were welling up with tears again, and Max knew at once how serious a worry this was for her.

"Okay yes fair point, but Zoey what if it doesn't end?" Max countered.

Zoey hiccuped. "I will never understand how you can be so beautiful even when you're crying," Max smiled, using his finger to wipe away a tear from her cheek. Again the relief of telling her exactly what he was thinking when he thought it, along with touching her, felt amazing.

Zoey blushed, the cheek behind his hand growing hot.

"Please don't be scared, Zoey," Max told her. He couldn't believe how light his heart was, like some huge weight had been lifted.

"Can't help it," Zoey said.

"I can't claim to be an expert, but it's my understanding that relationships work or don't work based on how much they are valued by those in them," Max whispered, holding her face gently in his hands as he gazed into her eyes. "You're scared to lose me," - Zoey nodded - "but what you don't see is that I am terrified of losing you."

"You are?"

"Of course, I am, silly girl," Max replied, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. "For my entire life you've been at the center of everything. Sometimes I don't think I even know who I am without you beside me."

"So does this mean you'll be my roommate now?" Zoey asked, sheepishly.

"I'll be your boyfriend," Max answered. "And if my girlfriend wants me to live with her, who am I to say no."

"Boyfriend," Zoey mumbled, clearly flustered. "That word feels odd. I mean don't people date first?"

"I do believe we are well past the getting to know you stage," Max smiled at her. Again he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, enjoying the blush it left in its wake.

"I just- I mean," Zoey fumbled. "It's gonna take some getting used to."

"I love you," Max told her earnestly. "I've been in love with you all my life and at this point I am convinced I'll be in love with you for the rest of my life." Her eyes widened just a little as he spoke. Feeling about as high as a kite, Max leaned in to kiss her again, taking care to be slow. His hands tenderly moving down her sides as the kiss deepened. Zoey fell back on the bed and he followed, lost in the moment.

Panting slightly, partly due to his pounding heart making him dizzy, Max pulled away to whisper in her ear. "If you don't like girlfriend, I have another word that would work for me..." he couldn't help but tease her. Zoey's soft voice replied only to inquire as to what he meant. "Wife," Max whispered. Then laughed, reaching out to wrap his arms around her in a fiercely possessive hug. He was still laying on top of her on the bed, just now with his arms warped around her and his face buried in her neck.

And then he was kissing her neck, down her arms. Every bit of Zoey he could reach needed kissing and every soft moan or gasp from her lips acted as his encouragement.

"I love you," he repeated in her ear whenever his lips were nearby.

His hand moved down to her rest on her hip before skipping the skin along the belt of her jeans. Any point of contact with Zoey's skin felt like his nerves were alight and drowned out any other sensory information. He couldn't resist the skin on skin contact and next his hand was under her shirt, gently teasing her skin.

Zoey was breathing heavily now. She pressed her hands to his chest and pushed just the smallest bit. It was the first indication he'd gotten from her that he should stop. Max pulled away at once.

"Sorry," he said. "I might have gotten a bit carried away there. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Zoey panted. "I just- need to process. I- I- mean- bit overwhelming."

"Sorry," Max said, repeated barring his face in his hands.

How had he done this again? Ruined everything! Stupid, stupid idiot, just had to lose his marbles and explode twenty something years of repressed emotion on her all at once. Of course, she was totally done with it.

"I'll go," Max said, still with his hands covering his face. "I'm sorry. I-"

But then he felt Zoey's hands gently reach up to uncover his face. "Don't be sorry," Zoey told him. To his great relief she was smiling. "I had no idea you had so much bottled up inside."

"I- I- mean I don't think I quite knew it myself either," Max mumbled.

"It's funny," Zoey continued with that same zen look on her face. "I just never once thought he had that couple spark you know. I never considered the possibility that you could get my heart pounding like this." And then she reached forward and grabbed his hand, placing it on her heart.

Thud, thud, thud. Her heart was beating quite rapidly, in time with his own. Max could feel his pounding heart in his ears, but it seemed like maybe she could too.

"Something we can explore," Zoey smiled at him. "In our own apartment."

"Yes," Max said, relieved beyond belief that he hadn't just ruined everything he'd always wanted and never thought he'd have. Slowly, so she had time to push him away if she so wanted to, Max reached forward to pull her into his arms and whisper in her ear, "Nothing on this earth could make me happier."

So was it worth the wait?

It's so strange not having an editor. Usually I'd get their opinion on such an important chapter as this to make sure I was true to the characters and plots, but just me on this one since I don't know any editors who liked Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist...

Also no sneak peek for the next chapter as I haven't quite figured out what it's going to be yet. Originally I had planned for it to be a 6months later kinda thing but now I'm wondering if you would rather have something to continue this scene? Let me know in the comments in I should add another chapter with a time sooner than 6 months.

(UPDATE: By unanimous vote I wrote a continuation to this scene as the next chapter. I had intended it to be just a short little thing but it became basically chapter length sooo...)

Sneak Peek Chapter 13

"Anyway, so what do we do now?" she asked.

"If you want more time to process I could leave for today and see you tomorrow," Max suggested, but Zoey vetoed that by reaching forward and holding him there by his shirt. Max couldn't help but smile. "How about going downstairs then unless you wanna make out some more?" He chuckled. It was hard to resist smiling right now; his heart felt lighter than air.

"Downstairs," Zoey said, then she stopped. "Oh shit this means I have to tell mom!"

"It's okay," Max smiled at her suddenly anxious expression. "I can assume you she's been expecting this for years."

"WHAT!?" Zoey almost yelled.