Chapter Twenty-Five: Birthday Ninja
Hi friends! I've missed you all!
I've been super distracted for the last two months, but I think I'm finally starting to get my inspiration back!
Plus, I had to post something today, because it's a special occasion!
"Wakey wakey, birthday ninja!" Lloyd blinked as the room was flooded with light. Once his eyes had adjusted, he looked up to see Kai standing over him while Jay tied up the curtains around the now-open window. The other three stood behind the red ninja, smirking at Lloyd as he sat up on his bed. "Oh," the blond muttered, trying to keep his lips from twisting upward into a smile. "Is that today?" Kai ruffled his hair. "Nice try. I know the fact that we're still in quarantine didn't make you forget that you're turning twenty-one today."
Lloyd gave in, allowing the smile to spread across his face. "Fine, you got me. Of course I didn't forget."
"And neither did we," Cole said, stepping forward and offering the green ninja a cup of coffee. "Happy birthday, Green Machine."
"Thanks," Lloyd replied, taking the mug. He took a sip, immediately grimacing at the bitter taste that hit his tongue. "Oh, First Spinjitzu Master! Is there vodka in here?"
The noirette shrugged. "Well, you said you were gonna try it," he reminded him. "And you're legal now, so why not?"
"How is it?" Jay asked, peering at the blond eagerly.
"It's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted," he answered. "Well, besides the time I put vodka on Fruity Pebbles. That might have been worse."
Kai blinked. "You did what now?"
"Nevermind." Lloyd shook his head, letting out a sigh. "Wow, I'm twenty-one!" He breathed. "I can actually, like, legally drink now. That's insane."
"You'll get used to it pretty fast," Nya assured him. "It's strange at first when you have all this new freedom, but it won't be long 'til you realize it's not that big of a deal."
"Except when you can actually drink with the rest of us," Jay added. "Without Cole having to sneak some to you, that is."
The black ninja's face lit up. "Oh, yeah! I don't have to do that anymore! Thanks for turning twenty-one, Lloyd."
Lloyd laughed. "My pleasure."
"I'm sorry this birthday has to happen during a pandemic," Zane said regretfully. "Don't worry, Lloyd. We will make sure you still have a great day."
Lloyd smiled at the master of ice. "Thanks, Zane."
"Aaand…" Jay began, pausing for dramatic effect. "A little birdie told me Sensei wants to talk to you. He's in the kitchen."
"Happy birthday, nephew," Wu said as the green ninja wandered into the kitchen. "How was your coffee?"
"Thanks, uncle." Lloyd narrowed his eyes. "Wait, you knew about that?"
Wu chuckled. "I have no reason not to. You're of legal age now—there's no reason you need to hide your drinking anymore." He lowered his voice so it was barely more than a whisper. "You suck at it anyway."
"Hey! I was just a kid!"
"Oh, Lloyd. I've seen high schoolers hide being drunk better than you could at twenty, young nephew."
Lloyd rolled his eyes with a giggle.
"But you do bring up a good point," Wu continued. "You were just a kid. This birthday marks the first day of your young adulthood."
The blond bit his lip nervously. "Don't remind me."
"Why not?" The elder asked. "Does it scare you?"
Lloyd huffed. "I'm the green ninja," he replied, looking at the ground. "Nothing scares me."
Wu was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Nothing about being a ninja requires you to be without fear, Lloyd. What matters is not whether you are afraid, but how you handle it."
"I know, Sensei." He sighed. "Maybe I am a little nervous."
"About what?"
The green ninja shrugged. "I don't know. I guess...I guess I'm just so used to being the kid, you know? I mean, I was only twelve when I became the green ninja. I've always been the baby—the youngest, by a lot—and I know that won't change, but now...it doesn't really matter. Not to mention, I skipped four years of my childhood."
Wu nodded. "That is true. You do have a very unique situation in that regard. But what is it that makes you want to remain the 'baby,' if you will?"
He thought for a moment. "People have always looked down on me because I was just a kid. I felt like I could prove them wrong, but that even if I didn't, I could blame it on my age. Now, it's all on me. I can't pin my shortcomings on being young."
"Well, not all of them," Wu clarified. "You're still young, Lloyd."
The green ninja smirked. "Especially compared to you."
"Everyone is young compared to me," the Sensei chuckled, stroking his beard. "Tell me, why do you feel as though you need something to blame when you feel inferior?"
"Well, I don't wanna blame myself! I mean, it's a whole lot easier to say—even to myself—that I fall short because I'm young than to admit I'm just not good enough in general."
"And who says you're not good enough?"
Lloyd threw his hands in the air defensively. "I do!"
Wu remained calm. "How so?"
"I don't fucking know!" Lloyd snapped. "Not good enough to be the green ninja. Not good enough to wear my father's robe. Not good enough to be a Sensei. Not good enough for…" he trailed off, beginning to notice that his breathing had quickened.
His uncle stood in silence for a few moments, letting him catch his breath. "Lloyd, I have a mission for you."
The blond blinked. "Okay?"
"You are an adult now," Wu began. "Yes, you will have adult responsibilities, and will need to learn how to drink safely and make smart, adult decisions. But the thing I want you to focus on as you begin this new leg of your journey is challenging those thoughts. If destiny did not think you were 'good enough' to be the green ninja, those weapons would not have reacted to you in the way that they did. If your teammates did not think you were 'good enough' to lead them, they would not follow you—you know them, you know that's the truth." He paused to let the words sink in. "The only person who questions whether you're good enough is you."
"Daydreaming about all the alcohol you can buy?"
Lloyd turned to see Cole walking out onto the deck next to him. He smiled at his friend as he approached. "Yeah, I'm keeping a mental list of everything I haven't tried already."
Cole huffed. "Good luck with that. There are more different kinds of booze out there than there are years Sensei's been alive!"
"I highly doubt it."
When Lloyd turned his gaze back to the clear blue sky, Cole nudged his arm. "What are you thinking about?"
"Something Sensei told me, actually," the green ninja replied. "He said that now I'm an adult, he wants me to focus on fixing my inferiority complex."
Cole blinked his brown eyes in surprise. "Your what now?"
"The fact that I never see myself as being enough," Lloyd clarified.
The master of earth shook his head. "No, I know what an inferiority complex is. I just didn't know you had one."
"Well, yeah," the blond admitted. "I just feel like I'm in a role that I maybe don't deserve, and that I won't ever deserve to be here, or where I want to be, or with who I want to be with…"
"Wow," Cole breathed. "I mean, I knew you had some issues with thinking the bullshit that is Kai being out of your league, but I didn't know you felt that way about those other things."
He shrugged. "I guess I don't like to talk about it."
Cole wrapped his arm around Lloyd's shoulders. "I think a lot of people feel that way—way more than you'd expect. I mean, I sure do."
Lloyd stared at him. "Wait, you do? But Cole, you're, like, amazing!"
"Well, so are you!" Cole replied with a laugh. "Lloyd, you don't even know how great you are! You want to be better, I get that. But you need to know that you are enough, just the way you are."
"You think so?"
"Lloyd!" Cole exclaimed. "I know so! And don't you dare think otherwise."
Lloyd thought for a moment. "Well, if you don't like it when I talk about myself like that, you better not talk about yourself like that either."
"Deal." Cole looked back out at the sky around them. "How are you feeling about being twenty-one?"
"Excited," Lloyd replied. "And a little nervous. I guess I'm just kinda scared of growing up, ya know?"
Cole nodded. "Yep, I get that. You think it'll be like the Tomorrow's Tea all over again? One minute you're a kid, the next you're all grown up?"
"Kinda, yeah. But at least I can use alcohol to cope with the stress."
Cole ruffled his hair. "Don't you fucking dare!"
"I'm just kidding." He took a deep breath. "I do want to work on myself though. I think maybe this will be the push I need to finally become the person I'm supposed to be."
Cole raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "How so?"
"Well, first of all, I want to stop worrying so much about stuff. Being a perfectionist is really hard sometimes. I also need to learn how to stop basing my happiness on what one person thinks of me. Speaking of that one person, I need to remember that I don't need to prove my worth, to him or to anyone else." He smiled. "I need to be okay with me. I need to love myself, and to stop relying on other people to do that for me."
The master of earth gaped at him.
"What?" Lloyd asked. "What is it?"
Cole chuckled. "I think you just became an adult."
Lloyd smiled in response. "Oh shit. I think I really did."
Yay, happy birthday to Lloyd! And me, too, I guess.
This got really deep—t's all stuff I'm working on myself. As The Fold says in "The Time is Now": "Growing up is such a blast, but just like ninja moves so fast."
It's kind of scary, but also pretty exciting. I've learned so much as I've grown up—about the world, about life, about myself. When I turned thirteen, I thought I was "too old" to watch Ninjago. Today, I went to Target and bought nothing but vodka and LEGOs. I'm learning what really matters in life and what really doesn't (and what matters is that my age is now in my username XD). Overall, I'm so happy to be where and who I am today, and my wish is that all of you feel the same :)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go drink.
21(year-old)CenturyNinja