*Thank-you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter it was greatly appreciated. Please just have some tissues ready as you read this chapter. There won't be too much left after this maybe about 2 or 3 more chapters but this is definitely winding down and I promise to update the next couple chapters as much as possible.*
Two Weeks Later:
If I could say how hectic the last couple weeks have been it has it would not be an understatement it would be the accurate truth to the last couple weeks we have had. The new virus that has made its way to the US is spreading quickly and in a matter of weeks things have gotten worse, more people are being infected, more people are sick with the virus than there are testing supplies in hospitals and more than there are beds in the hospital for those hospitalized due to the virus. I think a lot of us didn't take it seriously and didn't expect it to get so bad but here we are, wearing masks any time we leave the house, some people wearing gloves out in public, shelves in the grocery store are bare of paper towels, toilet paper, Lysol products sold out everywhere we go and disinfectant wipes gone completely. It's a crazy world not to mention in our state we are shut down completely a lot of people working from home, non-essential businesses closed and only the essential businesses remain open such as grocery stores, chain stores that sell food products and restaurants with take out or curbside pickup only definitely a different world that changed in a matter of weeks.
That being said with PA shutting everything down my wedding with Joe was put into jeopardy we made plans to go to the courthouse to get married and then go to a restaurant to celebrate but everything closed so we had to come up with a plan B for our wedding and in the mean time Joe made a very tough decision regarding his career. Joe decided that due to the travel involved with his job and how his job is handling the Covid testing, he decided that it would be best if he took a break from WWE for a while until things settle down. It wasn't worth the risk of him catching Covid and bringing it back to me endangering my life and Joseph's lives but also Amari's life as she already has a weakened immune system due to her cancer. It's been a tough couple weeks and a lot of tough decisions have been made. Joe and I wanted to push our wedding back until everything was clear, there were less cases and things were settled down more but unfortunately Dr. Anderson was very correct about Amari's diagnosis. The last two weeks Amari's health has deteriorated and gotten so much worse. I know that my baby girl doesn't have that much time left, she can barely get out of bed in the morning. Her body hurts more each day, she's more tired each day and each day is harder than the last for her. She's getting weaker day by day, eating less, drinking less and just not as happy and full of life as she has always been and it breaks my heart every day knowing there is nothing I can do and nothing I can do to take her pain away.
We obviously don't know when things are going to change here in PA, we don't know when things are going to reopen so we can get married and it means the most to me for Amari to be there the day I marry Joe because if it wasn't for her Joe wouldn't even be in our lives and she loves Joe so much. We can't wait much longer so we decided to go ahead with the wedding the best way we know how and the only way we are able to do it so that Amari can still be a part of it. We had to make plans and even though it's not the way we originally planned for our wedding to happen, I am happy that it's finally happening and today is the day I get to marry Joe.
I am in my room putting on my wedding dress by myself definitely not the way I expected it to be but this is how it needs to be at least right now. I look at myself in the mirror and smile as I admire how beautiful I look in my wedding dress. I complete it with wearing a silver headpiece in my hair that I curled and styled myself because we don't really let a lot of people into our home due to Amari's illness we are doing our best to protect her from exposure to any unnecessary and unwelcomed germs that could kill her. "Wyatt, thank-you so much" I say to my husband that passed away in the middle East. "Thank-you for helping me find my way to Joe although I wish you were still here and we were living this life together I am finally happy again." Tears fill my eyes as I think about the life I lived with Wyatt, the things we went through to be together and the things we had planned that we never got to live together. At first I was scared to move on from Wyatt, afraid to fall in love with someone else because it felt disloyal but I know Wyatt would have wanted me to be happy and go on with my life. I look at his picture and smile slightly he was a good man, one of the best men I have met in my life. Our life together was something special, something I will never forget so many times we spend our time thinking about tomorrow and what we want tomorrow but I have quickly learned that tomorrow can be taken away from us in an instance, unexpectedly and it never comes, the next hour could not come it's a tough lesson to learn. "I will always love you, Wyatt but I'm ready to fully move on and I will never forget you," I say with tears in my eyes.
"Mom," says Gatsby as she comes into my room wearing her flower girl dress. "You look so beautiful."
"Thank-you," I say with a smile, "you look beautiful too."
"Thank-you," she says with a smile. "Joe wants to know when you're ready."
"I'm just about ready," I say as I sit down to put my shoes on. "I'm ready," I say with a smile as I grab my bouquet of yellow flowers. "Is Amari ready?"
"Yes but she's not doing very good mom," she says.
"I know," I say sadly, "but I want her to be part of this."
"And she wants to be part of this," she says, "but she's down stairs in her wheelchair with Joe."
"Okay," I say with a nod. "Gatsby, I love you."
"I love you too, Mom," she says. "Are you ready?"
"I'm ready," I say with a smile before she takes my hand.
Gatsby and I walk out of my bedroom and walk down the stairs to our living room where Joe and I will get married on a zoom call in front of our friends and family while his best friend Seth will officiate the wedding, Seth got ordained just so he could perform the ceremony for us and we wouldn't want it any other way. The living room is decorated so beautifully with yellow and white tulle, yellow flowers on the table in front of Joe holding the computer for our Zoom wedding, it's not ideal but it works. Amari is sitting in her wheelchair looking so beautiful but yet so weak and fragile, she has definitely lost a great amount of weight in the last couple weeks and it breaks my heart. I smile as I look at Joe standing in a pair of black slacks, wearing a white shirt and a yellow tie with his hair pulled into a low tight bun. He looks so gorgeous. He smiles at me as his dark brown eyes meet mine. I can see the tears forming in his eyes.
Gatsby walks me over to Joe and once I am beside him Seth begins the ceremony as I see our guests on the Zoom screen and smile at them. Seth says a prayer before he asks, "who gives this woman to this man?"
"My sister and I do," says Gatsby with a smile she lets go of my hand and places it into Joe's hand as she takes my bouquet from my hands before she stands next to her sister. I smile at Mari as she gives me a soft weak smile.
Seth goes on to read a verse from the Bible from the book of Corinthians as he tells us what love is, how patient, how kind it is and how love always wins. Seth then talks about how important marriage is and the joining of man and wife is. I smile as he says, "and at this time I believe Joe and Madden would like to state their own vows to one another, Joe please state your vows to Madden."
Joe looks at me and my heart skips a beat as I see the tears in his eyes as he begins to speak. "Madden, the day I met you I never thought, never expected my life to go this way. You were a single mother with a little girl that was sick with cancer, I did what I could to help her but I never expected to be marrying her mother. Fate is crazy sometimes but it has the way of leading us to where we are meant to be, leads us to the people we are meant to be friends with, people we are meant to love, that's how fate works and I love you so much. You're everything to me and the last few months have been some of the best months of my life and while I never expected to fall in love again, never thought I could love again, you had me loving you. You're one of the strongest, most beautiful women I have ever met in my life. I promise that no matter what comes our way whether the times are bad or whether times are good I am going to be here for you, I will be your shoulder to cry on, your strength when you feel weak but I will love you through anything we face. You're an amazing woman and today I give my heart to you, I give my heart to you forever promising to be faithful, honor you and respect you. I love you, Madden and I promise my life and my heart to you forever," he says with tears in his eyes as I feel my own tears in my eyes.
"Madden, please state your vows to Joe."
"Life is crazy sometimes," I begin, "you never know what life is going to throw at you, you never know what life is going to bring to you but sometimes the most unexpected things in life are the ones we come to love the most. I never expected to fall in love after I lost Wyatt but here I am today in love with you, loving everything about you and everything that you are. You're one of the most amazing men I have ever met in my life, you are so wonderful with the girls and so wonderful with me. I know you're going to be just as amazing to our son when he comes into the world. It's crazy how our worlds and our lives entwined but it was one of the best ways. Everyone talks about forever but there is no forever, sometimes tomorrow never comes but I promise to love you for all the time we have together, for all the days, all the moments we have together, the life we are going to share together, the memories we are going to make because when it's all over the memories are all we are going to have left. I promise to respect you, honor you and remain faithful to you above all I promise to love you the rest of my life. I love you so much, Joe and I promise to be everything you need and everything you want in this life."
The tears flowing from my eyes as I share my vows with Joe after he shares his with me, we don't know where life is going to take us but what I do know is that no matter what we face in this life we're going to face it together, we're going to love each other through every moment and every memory we make. He's such an amazing man and everything I could have hoped for in a husband it takes a lot to measure up to what Wyatt and I had but Joe is everything Wyatt was and everything he could have been. I am grateful that our lives entwined the way they have. "At this time we are going to exchange the rings," says Seth. Roman picks up the diamond band he chose for me and places it on my finger repeating the words that Seth tell him that the ring is a symbol of our unending love for one another and that we promise to remain faithful to one another and that with that ring we will be wed. I do the same as I slide the black platinum ring onto his finger repeating the same words, making the same promises and becoming one with him. "At this time as a symbol of Madden and Joe becoming one they will light the unity candle as a symbol of their unity."
Joe and I take the lighter together and light the unity candle to symbolize our unity in Christ. Seth says a prayer over us before he says, "By the power invested in me by the state of Iowa I pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." Joe smiles at me as I smile back at him before he kisses my lips so softly and passionately as I hear our friends and family cheer while the girls clap their hands in joy. Joe breaks the kiss with the smile and Seth says, "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Anoa'i!" Our family and friends clap in joy for us. It wasn't the wedding I expected but the end result was the same, I married the man I love and will spend the rest of my life with no matter how the ceremony was performed and the most important thing; Amari was able to be there and witness our wedding.
We celebrate the wedding just the four of us in our home it's not the big restaurant celebration we hoped for but it was still perfect before we have pizza, which was Amari's choice of our meal Joe and I share our first dance together in the middle of our living room. The guitar starts to play at the beginning of Prayed for You By Matt Stell as Joe wraps me up in his arms as we start to dance together. Matt Stell's voice sings out talking about never being the one to ask for help, not being a church pew regular, not being a preacher but being a believer. The chorus of the song begins to play as Joe sings to me the words, "Cause every single day, before I knew your name I couldn't see your face but I prayed for you," he continues to sing the song to me, "for someone to love me like you do, graceful eyes to see me through, a smile that steals me a heart that heals me, a touch that kills me too, baby you're perfect, I guess the Good Lord heard it." Tears fill my eyes as we dance to the rest of the song, my head on his chest as he holds me close, in a way I did pray for him, maybe not the way I expected my prayers to be answered but I prayed for him, his smile always steals me and his heart has healed me from the pain that I have felt. He's just amazing. "I love you," he says as he kisses my forehead.
"I love you too," I say as the song comes to an end.
We continue celebrating our wedding together and it's better than I could have ever imagined and to see Amari smile and have fun as she celebrates with us means the world to me. We eat pizza together, have soda together, have some cake together; a very simple cake of chocolate and peanut butter icing that we picked up from the grocery store because of non-essential businesses being closed like bakeries but it was perfect. I toss my bouquet for the girls and Amari catches it with a smile. It's the happiest I have seen her in weeks. It melts my heart when Joe dances with both the girls to celebrate. It's perfect, not what I could have imagined but for the time, the year it's perfect for us and one of the best days of my life.
Later that night after the big celebration I am laying with Amari in her bed waiting for her to fall asleep. She's having a rough night, the nighttime is always the worst time for her. "Did you have fun today?" I ask as I hold her in my arms.
"Yes," she says softly. "You were so beautiful, mom."
"Thank-you, you were beautiful too," I smile at her as she closes her eyes.
"Thank-you," she says softly, "Mommy?"
"Yes?" I asks as I run my hand over her head where some of her hair is starting to grow back, it feels like a peach, so soft.
"What do you think Heaven is like?" she asks with her eyes closed.
"I don't know," I say, "I'm sure it's one of the most beautiful places, more beautiful than we could ever imagine. I'm sure everything is perfect."
"Do you think they have ice-cream in Heaven?" she asks.
"I'm sure they do, I am sure they have all the good things in life up in Heaven."
"I hope so," she says, "I love Ice-cream."
"I know you do," I say with tears in my eyes.
"Do you think that the sun always shines in Heaven?"
"I'm sure it's a beautiful place, I can't even imagine how beautiful it is, I think we all have different thoughts and ideas about what Heaven is like and no one will know until we get there to see for ourselves."
"I guess," she says, "I'm tired, Mom," she says.
"I know, Baby," I say with tears in my eyes.
"I'm really tired," she says. "It hurts me, Mom."
"I know, Baby," I say softly. "It's okay," I say.
"Mommy, will I see Daddy when I get to Heaven?" she asks.
"I'm sure he will be waiting for you," I say, "in fact I know he will be waiting for you."
"Good because I miss him so much," she says with a soft smile.
"Amari," I say, "I know you do."
"Mommy," she says weakly, "will you be mad if I go with Daddy now?" she asks as the tears start to flow from my eyes.
"No, Baby, I won't be mad," I say. "Do you want to go with your daddy now?" I ask. She nods softly as I hold her tighter and feel her arms wrap around me. "It's okay, Baby, your daddy is waiting for you," I say through my tears, "he's there, Baby. You can let go," I say softly breaking my own heart. She's been through so much, she's been through so much pain and as much as it hurts me to let her go it's time, I don't want her to face anymore pain. It hurts me but this is what she needs.
"Mommy," she says softly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Baby," I say, "I love you so much!"
"Take care of Gatsby, Mommy and my brother," she says.
"I will," I say, "Give your daddy a kiss for me when you see him."
"Okay, Mommy," she says as tears fall from my eyes, I hold her tighter not wanting to let her go. "Mommy," she says weakly, "Hold me."
"I won't let you go," I say, "I promise."
Silence falls between us as I hold her in my arms, my grip tight on her so she knows I'm not going to let her go, I hold her as she holds onto me, time passes for about 5 minutes and I feel her tiny arm let go of me and fall to the side. I break down knowing she took her final breath. I check her heart and don't find a pulse, I check her breath and I don't feel it, I breakdown into sobs knowing she took her last breath; April 11th, 2020 at 12:01 am Amari took her last breath as I held her in my arms, loving her and letting her know I wasn't going to let go. I hold her for I don't know how long as I cry. I kiss her tiny cheek before Joe comes into the room. "Wyatt, take care of her, take care of our baby," I cry. "She needs you."
"Madden," says Joe.
"She's gone," I say as I face him, "she's gone," I say softly.
"I am so sorry," he says with tears in his eyes as he makes his way over to me, to us holding us in his arms, we cry together as we hold her in our arms.
"It's okay, she doesn't hurt anymore," I say, "but I hurt, I hurt so bad, she's my baby," I say breaking down as he comforts me before Gatsby wakes up from where she was sleeping.
"Mom?" she asks. "What's wrong with Mari?"
"She's gone, Gatsby," I say with tears in my eyes. "She went to Heaven to be with your daddy," I say. Gatsby breaks down into tears before Joe picks her up and comforts her, together we stay together as a family, holding Amari, crying through the loss of such a special and beautiful little girl, life will never be the same without her and now I have to learn to live without her, we all do and I don't know how I am going to be able to live without my baby girl, tomorrow doesn't always come, forever doesn't exist and while her life was cut short I take joy in knowing that she lived her last day celebrating something she wanted so much. She definitely lived her last day like it was her last and I couldn't be any happier for her but my heart still hurts.
*A/N: I don't think too much needs to be said about this chapter. What did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading. Should I continue the rest of the story, to see where life goes for Joe, Gatsby and Madden? Please let me know.