Characters: Laurence the first Vicar, Vicar Amelia, Micolash Host of the Nightmare, Laurence' secretary Florence
Word Count: 2.644
Summary: After the cold snowball fight, Laurence wants to warm up in a hot bath, but maybe he should have locked the cats out.
(Author's note: Well, I actually wanted to do another time jump in this chapter, but got inspired to a chapter with cats in the bathroom, so that is what you get instead ^^)
Laurence would have liked to jump into the bath tub right away, but the water first had to be heated up, so he was sitting in the common room with Micolash and Amelia, Mick curled up on his lap and a hot cup of tea in his hands, most of his winter clothes still present on his body. Even with all the running around, the cold wind and snow had chilled him to the bone and he sat there, shivering now and then. He hoped that he wouldn't get a cold.
Amelia sat next to him with a cup of hot chocolate, all while she excitedly recounted the events of the last few hours. Both Laurence and Micolash, utterly exhausted, just smiled and nodded to her, occasionally giving her a hum or similar noise of agreement.
"Do I have to take a bath?", Amelia suddenly asked and wrinkled her nose. Apparently, she wasn't too keen on it.
"Y-yes.", Laurence said, hating how his voice still trembled. "Or you m-might get a c-cold."
"But we have the blood.", Amelia squealed and Micolash had to do his best to suppress his laughter, getting a death glare from Laurence for it.
"Yes, b-but you are f-five.", Laurence said. "I d-don't want to use the b-blood on ch-children when it can be a-avoided."
"Hm.", Amelia pouted and took a deep sip of her hot chocolate, leaving her with a milksop. Laurence absentmindedly got a handkerchief out to wipe it off, the little girl squirming under his care.
"M-make sure to use the b-bathroom before you g-get into the bath.", Laurence said after a glance to the almost emptied cup.
"But I have already been!", Amelia said, how she could still hold such a volume after cavorting so much in the snow, Laurence didn't had a clue. "You came with me even!"
"Y-yes... but you c-can't just leave once you are in the w-water.", Laurence said.
"I don't have to.", Amelia simply answered and now Micolash couldn't suppress his laughter anymore and flopped over on the couch while Laurence gasped and told Amelia about basic decency and hygiene, which she took in with a rather disinterested look.
Just as Micolash's laughing fit had ceased, the door opened and Florence peeked her head in: "Vicar, the water is now ready. You can move to the bathroom. I will be taking Amelia."
"Th-thank you.", Laurence said, finished his cup of tea and put it onto the table. He then gave Mick a stroke and stood up while cradling the cat into his arms. Micolash stepped in front of him and took Mick. The cat gleefully pressed himself into Micolash's arm crook.
The church normally had bathrooms with showers where several people could clean themselves up, but for high ranking officials like Laurence, they had build in some more luxury bathrooms, which only could be assessed with a key. The one Laurence was using, housed a basin, a single toilet and a bath tub, which was linked to the boiler, so that it was able to spew out hot water. It only needed to be filled, so Laurence turned the handle and sat down on the toilet, waiting for the bathtub to be filled.
While Laurence waited for the bath tub to be filled, he considered if he should maybe make use of the toilet quick before hopping in, especially after he had told Amelia to do the same. It couldn't hurt, so he got up, but before he could lift the lid, he noticed that he had the door to the bathroom still ajar.
He definitely should close this first, before anyone came barging in, seeing him in a rather uncomfortable situation. Laurence went over to close the door, only to nearly get it smashed into his face, when something fast and small barged into the bathroom. When he opened his eyes, he looked for the reason of the commotion and his eyes fell on Gary, who had apparently hunted a mouse, which laid in front of him, looking rather dead. He nudged it with his paw now and then and when it didn't move, started to rip chunks of flesh out.
"Gary, that's gross.", Laurence said and went nearer to the cat. "Out. I am going to take a bath and I can't use a cat in here." Laurence bend down to pick the mouse up, with the intent of throwing it out, so that Gary would run after it, but the cat let out a deep growl and dragged the mouse away, until he was in a deep dark corner of the room.
"Fine, but don't complain when you want out.", Laurence sighed and went to close and lock the bathroom door to finally use the toilet. Once he was done, he rushed over to the bath tub to turn the water off, because Gary's interruption had made him lose track of how much it already had been filled up.
Laurence went over to a shelf to get a towel, all of them seemed to be whiter than white, he wondered who had been in charge of the laundry and why they had so many white towels, when the Healing Church would handle blood daily and picked one up, wondering why it was so fluffy and warm and why it meowed. His eyes widened when he noticed that it certainly wasn't a towel he was holding, but Mary.
"When, how?", Laurence stuttered. "Don't tell me you snuck in when Gary was chasing the mouse?!"
Mary mewed and Laurence put her down with a sigh. Sure, he could have just unlocked the door and set Mary in front of it, but one cat was already in the room and a second didn't make too much difference. Also, if he opened the door, maybe another cat would rush in. Why had he decided to take in six cats again?
Laurence laid the towel on the toilet and undressed himself, putting each and every piece on a nearby cloth rack. Once he was fully undressed, the cool winter air, even inside, making him shiver even more, he went into the bath. For most people it would have been too hot, but for him it was perfect. Maria always shook her head at how easily he could withstand hot water, drinking scalding hot tea and getting into a super hot bath tub and he wasn't even burning himself. Laurence just brushed it off at liking the heat more than the cold.
He never even thought that maybe the old blood could have been the cause for it.
The hot water engulfed Laurence and he could feel how the chill in his bones started to vanish, getting replaced with a comforting warmth. Laurence sighed and closed his eyes, he would have loved to just sleep in here, when it wouldn't mean that he was in danger of drowning.
When he opened his eyes again, he saw Mary peeking over the edge of the bath tub.
"Mary, no.", Laurence sighed. "You don't want to be here. It's wet and gross."
Mary simply blinked at him twice and lashed her tail. With another sigh, Laurence reached for a bar of soap. He looked at Mary again and then aimed the soap to slightly miss her, he only wanted to scare her off (and he would have never forgiven himself if he had actually hit her). Of course his non existent throwing skills made the soap fly far past Mary and it landed on the floor with a thud. Mary's tail twitched and she turned her head to look at the sound, but ultimately clambered onto the edge of the bath tub.
"Mary...", Laurence started and then sank back into the water. "Well, just be careful."
The bath tub didn't had the widest edge, but for Mary it seemed to be wide enough to comfortably walk on there. Though, it also was slippery and wet. Laurence just hoped that Mary would not fall into the bath tub, he gave up on trying to scare her away in fear that she would fall into the water as result, so he observed Mary with eagle eyes, taking away the relaxation he had felt earlier. His whole body tensed up and he actually had to massage his neck and shoulder after a few minutes, taking his eyes off Mary, who had clambered about the bath tub the whole time.
This few seconds of inadvertence apparently had been enough, because when Laurence put his eyes back on Mary, the cat had, for reasons only she alone knew, sat down on the edge of the bath tub and Laurence could only watch when the tragedy unfolded right in front of his eyes.
The world seemed to move in slow motion when he saw how Mary's back paws slipped, he felt how he extended his arms in an attempt to catch her, knowing that she was too far away, watched as Mary's hind legs submerged into the water, as her front paws desperately clawed at the smooth edge, not giving her any footing and watched as the whole cat fell into the bath tub with a splash.
As Laurence already was kneeling into the bath tub, searching for Mary in the water, the cat seemed to ignore all physic's and pretty much jumped out of the water, dripping wet, her normally puffy coat reduced to soaking strands and she skidded over the bathroom floor, running into the shelf with the towels, a towel dropped on her and made the poor cat panic even more.
"Oh fuck.", Laurence hissed. That was why he didn't want to have the cats in the bathroom. He raised from his kneeled position and grabbed for the towel on the toilet, only binding it around his hips (not that anyone would see him, but he still wanted to stay modest). He then exited the bath tub, shivering a bit when the cold air hit his still wet body and searched for the mess that was Mary. He found her behind the toilet, apparently having shooed away Gary, trembling under the towel. Laurence squatted down and extended a hand at her.
"Mary, w-would you p-please come out? I then c-an get the intruding t-towel of you and d-dry you up.", he said in the most calm voice he could muster, hating that he he started to stutter again from the cold.
Mary's response was to hiss at Laurence, letting him sigh. He knew he should just let her be, wait until she calmed down and would come out on her own, but it was cold and he was impatient, he just wanted to warm up, not mess with a wet cat, so he grabbed at her with both hands and hissed: "Come out now, Mary, don't be so fucking stubborn."
That had been a grave mistake, because once his hands came even remotely close to Mary, she hissed again and then jumped out of her hiding place, running crisscross through the room. "Oh dear...", Laurence sighed again and went to chase her, never getting a good hold on her whenever he managed to grab the cat. He only stopped his pursuit when he stepped into something wet and warm.
He slowly looked down at his feet to see that he had stepped into the remains of Gary's prey.
"Oh, ew!", Laurence shuddered, already in the process of moving his foot when Gary suddenly had his claws and teeth in him, making Laurence yelp in the unexpected pain.
"Gary, what the fuck?!", Laurence cursed, taking a few steps back, watching as pinprick-like drops of blood emerged from his foot. Laurence stopped when he realized that he stood against the bathroom door, his foot hurting, Mary still a panicked mess and Gary bringing his prey into safety.
"Would you fucking stop with the MESS already?!", Laurence pretty much screamed and took a step forward, only to slip on something, feel like the floor beneath his feet got revoked from him, feeling a sharp pain in his head and then... nothing.
When Laurence awoke, it was to the worried face of Florence, which relaxed when she noticed that his eyes had opened: "Ah, Vicar, you are awake!"
"What happened...?", Laurene asked, scanning the room. He wasn't in the bathroom anymore, he also wasn't in his office or his private room or the common room, it more looked like the infirmary. The fact that he currently got a blood ministration also cemented this theory.
"You had an accident in the bathroom and hit your head.", Florence said.
Slowly, the memories came back and Laurence thought about the mess that his cats had made and how he had slipped. Wait, did that mean... was he still naked... He quickly glanced under the blankets to see with relief that he had a night gown on.
Wait... who found him then?!
"Who brought me here?", he asked, hoping that it hadn't been Florence who had seen him stark naked.
"It was Micolash. He has spent his time in a room near the bathroom and heard the commotion. He said, when you stopped cursing after hearing a heavy noise, he got worried and organized a key for the bathroom to check on you.", Florence explained to Laurence.
Ah, that was fine then, Micolash had seen Laurence plenty of times naked and... more.
"He then got me to help you carry into the infirmary.", Florence continued and Laurence could feel his face heat up in a blush. "Don't worry, I haven't seen anything.", Florence quickly said and Laurence relaxed. "Micolash made sure that you were adequately dressed before getting me."
"I guess I have to thank him... and you.", Laurence said. "Thank you, Florence, for getting me here. Which injuries did I sustain?"
"A laceration at your forehead, maybe a concussion. Nothing the Holy Blood can't heal.", Florence said. "What happened in there, Vicar?" There was a look of concern on Florence' face.
"The cats happened.", Laurence sighed and just as he wanted to open his mouth again to tell Florence the details, Amelia barged into the room, hair still a bit wet and a pretzel in her hand.
"Ah, Laurence' awake!", she said with far too much enthusiasm, which made Laurence hiss and raise a hand to his head, that had hurt.
"Not so loud, dear, he isn't feeling well.", Florence said and invited Amelia to sit on her lap, which the little girl was very fond of.
"What happened?", Amelia asked once she was properly situated, munching on the pretzel, having her voice reduced to more bearable levels.
"I tell you when you share your snack.", Laurence grinned at her. Yharnam pretzels were his favourite food and everybody knew it. Amelia pouted at first, but then removed a piece, the one that she herself did like the least and shared it with Laurence.
Laurence then told the mess the cats had caused in the bathroom in great detail (omitting all the curse words he had said) until it was time for Amelia to leave. Once her and Florence were gone, he closed his eyes and intended to rest until the blood ministration was over.
A few minutes later, he felt how something warm jumped on his bed and snuggled up against him. He reached out to it and stroked over warm fur, the cat in question, which felt like Mick, pressing its face into his palm. While he wasn't too fond of interacting with his cats right now, Mick had done nothing wrong and so he allowed the black cat to stay.
He would deal with Mary and Gary after his head had stopped hurting.
(Author's note:
Florence actually has seen Laurence stark naked, because Micolash wasn't so considerate to dress him or more, was freaked out about all the blood in the bathroom. She just said that to him to calm him down, seeing how embarrassed he was about it. She has seen her fair share of naked man, so Laurence' naked body didn't faze her at all.
For anyone who has trouble getting what happened. Laurence slipped on the soap he threw earlier and pretty much smashed his head open on the toilet bowl. Ouch.)