"DARLING, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!" Mettaton clapped his hands in glee. Loki felt ridiculous. The stage hands had covered him in makeup, claiming that the lights shining on his face would make him appear washed out with any less cosmetics. He had absolutely drawn the line at the ridiculously over-the-top costume they'd suggested, and was wearing his armor, instead, complete with the horned helmet. The stage hands had been appropriately awed by the bit of magic he'd used to summon the outfit, and had dropped the issue, but in Loki's opinion, he still looked dumb.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"ABSOLUTELY!" Mettaton enthused. "FIVE MINUTES UNTIL WE'RE LIVE, BY THE WAY. ARE YOU READY?"

Loki shrugged. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"JUST REMEMBER TO SMILE, AND YOU'LL DO FANTASTIC, I'M SURE!" Mettaton advised, leading Loki into the kitchen set-up. "LOVE YOUR OUTFIT, BY THE WAY, SO VERY FASHIONABLE. I'M SURE ALL THE MONSETRS WILL WANT THAT HELMET ONCE THEY'VE SEEN YOU!"

Loki cracked a smile, as the show lights snapped on, and the camera man held up three claws, counting down, until… the music started.

"HELLO, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES!" Mettaton greeted enthusiastically. "TODAY WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU: A COOKING SHOW!"

He paused for applause, and then went on with his little speech. "THIS IS MY LOVELY ASSITANT, TODAY: LOKI! WHY DON'T YOU ALL GIVE HIM A BIG HAND?!"

Another beat for applause, and Loki theatrically bowed. The audience loved it.

"TODAY, WE'LL BE MAKING A CAKE!" Mettaton explained. "LOKI, DARLING, WHY DON'T YOU GO GET THE INGRDIENTS? WE'LL NEED MILK, SUGAR, AND EGGS."

Loki was pretty sure you needed more than that to make a cake, but he went to fetch the ingredients as the robot cheerfully went on with his speech. As he passed behind Mettaton on the way to the refrigerator, he noticed a switch on the robots' back.

"That's odd…" He quietly mused. "I wonder what that does…"

He carried the ingredients back to the counter, and Mettaton continued his commentary, now talking about some sort of fan base he had. Cheerfully, he began cracking eggs into a glass bowl, but Loki's mind was on other things. Why in the nine realms would the robot have such an easily accessible switch on his back? It couldn't control power, or that would be severe weakness in battle. One would only have to flip the switch, and the robot would be defeated.

So… what DID it do?

"…LOKI?" Mettaton snapped his fingers under Loki's nose. "TRY TO PAY ATTENTION, DARLING!"

"Sorry." Loki smiled, but his curiosity, and penchant for mischief had gotten away with him. Subtly, he edged over to where the switch was within his reach… and Mettaton turned to look at him. "LOKI, COULD YOU BE A DEAR, AND FETCH THE EGG BEATER? IT OUGHT TO BE IN THE DRAWER NEXT TO THE OVEN."

Loki started off, as if to comply, but then darted back, and flipped the switch.

Everything seemed to freeze. The music stopped, Mettaton's dramatic gesturing paused, and the world seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.

"DID YOU JUST…" Mettaton turned to face the Trickster. He was doomed. Nervously, he backed away, hands outstretched before him. "FLIP? MY? SWITCH?" Mettaton demanded.

"Um…" Loki raised his eyebrow in fake-confusion. "Which switch?"

"DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT ME WITH RHYMES, DARLING." Mettaton wheeled forward threateningly, and with a guilty start, Loki realized he'd run out of space to back up, and was cornered.

"I'm terribly sorry…" Loki grinned, not exactly sorry at all.

Mettaton paused, and a blinding light filled the room. Loki threw an arm in front of his face to protect his eyes, and when the light faded, there was what seemed to be a person standing before him. He had long, dark hair that flopped over one eye, and was dressed in pink; chest plate, pink makeup, even pink heeled boots. Loki blinked in surprise.

"WELL…" The man mused, a mischievous smile on his face. "I WAS GOING TO PUT OFF THE DEBUT OF MY NEW BODY UNTIL THE BATTLE…"

Loki's eyes flew wide open in shock. Could this be… Mettaton?

"BUT IT SEEMS SOMEBODY JUST COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE ME IN ALL MY GLORY!" The robot clapped his hands in glee. "FANTASTIC! THERE'S ONLY ONE SETBACK!"

Loki blinked, too stunned for words. It totally was Mettaton. So that's what the switch did…

"THIS BODY IS A BATTLE BODY. AND WE'RE WORKING WITH FOOD." Mettaton EX continued. "THEREFORE, WE SHOULD MEET IN THE MIDDLE! FOOD FIGHT!"

With that, the robot grabbed the carton of eggs off the counter, and began lobbing them at Loki. As the first one smashed in Loki's hair, he finally got his wits back, and began dodging the rest of the onslaught. He sped past Mettaton, and grabbed the bowl of egg yolks, quickly inverting it over Mettaton's head.

"OH, GROSS!" Mettaton squealed, brushing the yellow goop out of his hair.

"Now you know how it feels!" Loki laughed triumphantly, until Mettaton grabbed the carton of milk, and splashed the entire thing at Loki, soaking him from the waist down. He quickly retaliated by upsetting the flour bag, and gave it a sharp kick, sending a huge cloud of flour up into Mettaton's face. Quickly, while the robot was distracted, he ran to the refrigerator for more ammo. Blindly, he grabbed a red bottle, aimed it at Mettaton's face, and squirted.

Mettaton became coated, head to toe, in ketchup. There was another stunned silence, until Loki began laughing wildly at Mettaton's frozen, stunned face.

"SO, YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, DO YOU?" Mettaton demanded, but he was smiling, too. "LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!"

He snatched a similar bottle off the counter, but this one was yellow, and smelled slightly sour. Loki knew this, because it was suddenly drenching him from head to foot. For some reason, his knees buckled under him, and he found himself toppling to the floor. Undyne burst in the door, and rushed over to Loki in concern. "Hey, punk, can you hear me?" She demanded, pulling him into a sitting position.

"UNDYNE!" Mettaton whined. "WE WERE HAVING FUN!"

"You drained his hit points, you idiotic hunk of metal!" Undyne screamed. "He doesn't have an armored body, and every time he took a hit, he literally took a hit!"

"Urgh…" Loki moaned, shaking his head to clear it. "I-I'm fine, Undyne. I'm not bleeding, or anything."

Undyne gave him an unimpressed look. "Look at your hit points, genius. You're down to 0.4. Not okay."

Mettaton hesitated, a sheepish grin spread across his features. "…OOPS."

"YOU BETTER BELIEVE, OOPS!" Undyne shrieked, picking Loki up, and tossing him over her shoulder in a most undignified fashion. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM! THEN HOW WOULD WE FACE THOR?!"

"WELL, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!" Mettaton defended himself. "IT'S NOT LIKE HE TOLD ME!"

"NGAAAAAAH!" Undyne screamed in the robot's face, effectively shutting him up, then bolted for the doors.

"Please put me down." Loki quietly requested.

Undyne shook her head, and kept going. She never stopped.

"Where are you taking me?" Loki wondered, slightly nauseous from the thumping on his stomach with every step the fish woman took, and with the beginnings of a headache as the blood rushed to his head.

"Woshua." Undyne replied shortly. "Alphys isn't technically a medical doctor."

"Who?" Loki asked.

Undyne shook her head, again, as she continued going. Loki thought he was going to be sick. Undyne finally brought him to the river person, and gently laid him down on the bottom of the little boat, then sat down next to him. Suddenly, Loki felt extremely tired, all of a sudden, and as the boat glided down the river, his eyes slowly began drifting shut.

Boop. Boop. Boop. "Wake up."

Loki blinked his eyes open again, as Undyne repeatedly booped his nose. "Stop that." He waved her hand away irritably.

"If you go to sleep, with hit points this low, you'll die." She informed him, her voice bland, but her yellow eye was filled with worry. Loki smiled softly. It was nice to know someone cared about him. "That's not a good thing." She snapped, misinterpreting his smile. "I… we need you alive!"

"I know." Loki nodded cheerfully.

"Tra la la." The river person spoke up. "I probably should've worn a couple million more pairs of pants, today. Tra la la."

Loki and Undyne glanced at each other in confusion, before bursting out laughing. "Are they always like that?" Loki wondered.

Undyne rolled her eye. "Absolutely. Hilariously cryptic, is what Asgore says."

"An apt summary." Loki smiled, as the boat pulled up at the Waterfall dock, and Undyne picked him up again, this time bridal style, and began wading into the marsh. "Where did that living bathtub get to…" She grumbled, glancing around.

"Hoi!" A tiny voice spoke up to the right of them, partially concealed by reeds.

Undyne rolled her eye again, and stopped abruptly. Loki watched in tired interest as a tiny creature, that looked half-dog, half-cat, but with hair, crawled out of the rushes. "Undynes!" She squealed cheerfully. "Is good to see ya!"

"Hi, Temmie." Undyne sighed. "I'm a bit busy."

"What ya gots there?" Temmie cheerfully bounded up, a perpetual smile on her face. "OOOOOOHH! Is so CUUUUTE!"

Loki raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Temmie suddenly fell over, pretending to be dead.

"Okay…" Undyne sighed in exasperation, and made to continue looking for… Wash… Wosh… Wosh-something, whoever it was, when the little creature bounded up, again. "What is it?" She asked.

"It's an alien." Undyne dead-panned.

"IS SOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUTE!" Temmie's pupils literally turned into the shape of hearts.

"Temmie, have you seen Woshua?" Undyne finally demanded.

"Yaya!" Temmie nodded. "She was lookings for ya! Over there!"

Undyne glanced over as another small creature hurried over to them. "Hi, Undyne! You was looking for me?" It smiled up at the two of them.

This creature appeared to be much akin to a turtle, but with a wash pail on its back instead of a shell.

Temmie suddenly shot straight up in the air. "OOH! Tem forgots! Tem has TEM PARTY to go to! See yas later! BOI!"

With that, she scurried off into the reeds, again.

"What did you need me for?" Woshua pressed cheerfully.

Undyne laid Loki down gently on the small part of the ground that solid. "You can help him, right?"

Woshua furrowed her brow. "I don't know, he's pretty grubby… Is that egg in his hair?"

Undyne huffed in frustration, forcing herself to remain calm. "I meant; can you heal him? He's injured."

Loki found it difficult to remain awake, but was vaguely conscious of Woshua putting him into a fight.

"Green means clean!" She announced, sending a volley of little droplets of water at him, most of them tinted green. Loki reached out to touch the green ones, and immediately, he felt his strength returning to him. With enough of the green water, Loki's hit points had returned to 20. "How did you do that?" He asked, sitting up, and dusting his clothes off.

"It's a special attack I have." Woshua explained. "I don't like hurting people, so I developed an attack that heals instead of hurts. I taught it to my friend, Vegetoid, too."

Loki's eyes widened in shock. "I found this deranged carrot." Thor had said. "Called himself Vegetoid. I made short work of that beast."

"You okay, punk?" Undyne shook his shoulder roughly. "You kinda zoned out, there."

"I'm… fine…" Loki gulped miserably. "Woshua…"

"Yeah?" The monster smiled eagerly.

"Could you teach me the attack, too?" Loki whispered.

The next morning, Loki woke up in Sans and Papyrus' house, to the taller skeleton gently shaking his shoulder. "WAKE UP, LOKI!" Papyrus shouted eagerly. Honestly, that guy had two volumes. Loud, and louder. Loki groaned and pulled his pillow over his head.

"OH, COME ON, BROTHER! DON'T TELL ME YOU''RE AS LAZY AS SANS!" Papyrus laughed. "WE HAVE WORK TO DO!"

Loki glared up at the skeleton in distaste.

"Hey bro, he's actually right." Sans pointed out. "Might as well get up."

Loki groaned sleepily, and sat up. "What work?"

"PATROL!" Papyrus cried enthusiastically.

"Eating…" Sans grinned.

Loki sighed, and stumbled out of bed. They were right. Thor could come out of that gateway any moment, and they had to be ready.

As Loki and Papyrus walked through the streets of Snowdin, towards the gateway, a small voice spoke up from behind them.

"Yo!"

Loki looked down to see a small dinosaur-like creature, with no arms, wearing a striped poncho.

"Hello." Loki smiled. He'd always loved kids.

"Yo, you're a grownup, right?"

Loki nodded. Sure, he was only seventeen, but that was close enough, right?

The dino kid grinned in happiness. "Yeah, I knew that, cause you're not wearing a striped shirt!"

The three of them walked along in silence for a few seconds, before the monster kid spoke up, again. "Yo, my mom says you're an alien! Is that true?"

"Sort of." Loki shrugged. "I'm not from this planet, if that's what you mean."

"Yo, that's awesome!" Monster Kid grinned. "I never even been outside the Underground, before!"

Loki smiled. "Well, if I have anything to say about it, you will."

Monster Kid nodded. "Yeah, my mom says you're gonna save us all from a scary human that's coming through, here. Yo, are you a hero, like Undyne?"

Loki froze in his tracks. The child was obviously referring to Thor. Was Loki a hero for fighting his own brother? Sure, he was saving all the monsters' lives, but what if he had to kill him? Was that ever a heroic act? Was Loki doing the right thing, after all? "…I don't know."

"CHILD, YOU OUGHT TO GO BACK HOME." Papyrus advised. "WE COULD BE RUNNING INTO SOME REALLY SCARY THINGS, OUT HERE!"

The child pouted a bit, but turned, and scampered back to Snowdin. The two brothers trudged silently through the snow, until they got to Sans' guard post. The short skeleton was already waiting beside the outpost, typical grin and everything. "Hey, guys, somethings' up."

Loki's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Sans kept his cheerful grin in place, but glanced toward the doors that lead to the Ruins. Loki could swear he saw a glimmer of… fear in the skeleton's eyes. "There's this weird thumping coming from behind the doors. That's all."

Loki turned and bolted toward the huge gateway, and sure enough, there was, indeed, a loud pounding from the opposite side. There was a horrible moment that Loki stood there, in front of the quivering double doors, before they burst open, off their hinges.

It was like some sort of nightmare.

There was Thor, but not the Thor Loki knew. He was emotionless and powerful, hands curled into fists, and covered in monster dust. He stood in the doorway for a split second, before taking a step toward Loki, eyes cold, unfeeling, and… red. There was no love, no fondness, not even recognition, in those eyes. Only bloodlust.

TheOnlyHuman.