Ch.11 Troll Traps.
Author's note: :)
Ernie took great joy when he got to tell this morning's story of how Justin scared everyone near death by dreaming about being a record player, singing horridly with skipping noises and all.
(Although Ernies were worse as he talked in his sleep about house elves playing cards. Whatever those were.)
Professor Flitwick was putting on a display in the corner with Professor Sprout making a bean plant sing and swing, and they all joked that Justin might be under it instead who began copying its movements.
Ernie and Arthur had their timetables shoved in their pockets and breakfast in their mouths to make room for the cards that Arthur had laid out excited to share, only Ernie and Arthur were playing as Hannah was off with her own roommates and Zacharias and Justin sat elsewhere, Wayne had decided to sleep in.
They were playing a terribly confusing game that Arthur had made up, involving a bank that was introduced halfway through the game because their players had finally gained enough magic to see through the wards.
The bank was there due to a wizard trying to move his lake from his old house to his new one. It flooded them and they became notorious for trying to get travelers to invest in floaties and try a sample before they left.
The goal of the game was to catch the Warlock who was in the lake, the only problem being that he could also swim and move around freely, there was a map that periodically showed his vague location. (The same second year that helped him duplicate the spoons had helped a bit with it, he also tried playing but got frustrated, duplicating his deck of cards to tear in half.)
There were specific decks you could play as, Ernie chose to be the medic and Arthur chose the Tea-bag. (His favourite deck, if you were in the lake too long you took damage from becoming moldy.)
Ernie finally gave up after the Warlock decided to get out of the lake to dry off.
Arthur nibbled on his large plate of vegetables, and pickled herring. Looking around the room passing over a few students stacking beans on their noses trying to get it to roll into their mouths, and Draco across the room making fun of a passing Ravenclaw who had tripped over the bag of fertilizer Professor Sprout was moving around.
He stopped on Hermione, who was sitting at the end with a small section of the table to herself.
Ernie peered over at her from his pumpkin juice,"Already? What did she do?"
Wayne who had just arrived stole a piece of his bacon,"Isn't she the barmy girl on the train who tried telling us off for running?"
Ernie nodded,"I bet you she tried nagging them and they didn't take it too well- I mean who would?"
Arthur was weirdly silent, having a battle in his head and legs.
She focused on her book , not even the Prefect from before sat with her apparently focused on getting a good seat to stare at the ravenclaw the next table over. The girls from her year snuck glances at her and turned to each other chittering, making her press her nose deeper into her readings.
She hadn't even eaten either, like she'd planned to inhale the entire textbook before breakfast and that'd be enough, Or she was so absorbed in it she didn't think about it.
Arthur groaned and reluctantly piled more herring on his plate, wrapping some bacon in a napkin and a few pieces of toast.
He gathered up his cards and shoved them in his pocket, with Wayne and Ernie staring curiously at him.
"Are you mad? Sitting with her? You'll be sorry you tried!" Exclaimed Wayne peering up at him with a face full of greasy bacon.
"I dunno..." Arthur said swishing his hands around unsure.
Wayne stared at him in shock eating a spoonful of eggs continuing his rant,"She probably wants to be alone to read anyway, she's fine."
Arthur shook his head, "She's a bit much-"
Wayne raised an eyebrow, "A bit? I knew the whole history of the carpet we were apparently ruining before I managed to get away!"
"Well alot- but…"
Wayne rolled his eyes and went for more bacon as Ernie tried holding him off with his fork.
After a moment of consideration he scooped up the food (The pickled herring smell spreading across the table, with Wayne whispering, 'Oh great he's going to make her wish she was still alone' ) and set off for the Gryffindor table with everybody stopping momentarily and looking up curiously.
Many students lost interest at once but some kept tracking him with their eyes even so far as to miss a bite of what they were eating by a longshot, Arthur almost went right back to the Hufflepuffs as he felt teacher's eyes turn on him.
Arthur didn't really know why he was even trying, she was annoying. But he guessed she was okay a few times before, and she had tried helping him on the boat.
He kept walking with Hermione not noticing yet before he plopped down directly next to her, making a slamming noise as he rested his leg on the support beams of the table underneath, setting the toast and bacon on her plate. And set his own plate in front of him.
Hermione, surprised, held her hand frozen from being about to turn the page of her large heavy book titled, 'The Dewey Decimal System: A Thorough Look.'
The Gryffindors down the next row looked at him warily, he waved.
"You guys can budge down more you know!" Arthur said a bit muffled with the mushrooms in his mouth beckoning them over.
The girls from her year all sat firmly in their spots, but one of them looked longingly at the plates of Danishes they had in their section.
Arthur snorted and whispered to her, "Get a Danish- Go on then, copy me-"
He grabbed an Rhubarb danish and placed a bright orange one in her hand, he raised his own to Professor Flitwick who was happily going through his third one as the teachers took the plate away from him concerned.
Professor Flitwick raised his Danish back to him approvingly and Arthur heard a groan down the row.
She was quiet for a bit staring at the Danish bewildered and placed it back down, apparently collecting her thoughts,"...You can't sit here, it's against the rules! Percy- our Prefect will come over and sort you out if you don't go back!"
Arthur bit down too hard on the danish dangling in his mouth causing it to fall and stain his robes. He tried really hard to not regret sitting by her.
"I think he's a bit busy.." he hinted, nudging her in the direction of the Ravenclaw girl, Penelope Clearwater.
(Who Arthur knew the name of because Percy absentmindedly wrote in his return book card all over complete with hearts. And one-hundred out of one-hundred marks that you'd see on a test for some reason.)
Hermione looked a bit torn and a bit relieved all the same, "Well…...I suppose so...but it's still against the rules.."
"What are they all over there for?" Arthur asked curiously about the girls who were watching, one of them making a warning sign at him to get away while he still had the chance. (The other trying to make a sign for him to pass a danish down.)
She scowled,"I was just trying-"
A hand came down on his shoulder,"Hello? You'll need to go back to your table-"
"Trying to what?"
Percy pursed his lips at being ignored and got louder,"You can finish breakfast with your own house mates!"
Arthur mentally rolled his eyes at the stupid rule,"Hold on-"
He felt himself being grabbed by arm and looked up to see Percy red with rage and adjusting his glasses making sure Penelope was watching, "Now see here-"
A bean hit his forehead.
"The puff isn't doing nothin'!"
"We don't know, he might be sent over here by the Hufflepuff captain-"
"Oh shut up Oliver!"
"It makes perfect sense! you need something small and undetectable, why not a first year?"
Percy turned taking Arthur with him glaring at the two red headed boys that looked similar to himself, and a couple of other Gryffindors who were laughing.
"Who threw that!" Percy snarled.
The redheaded twins pointed in sync at the dancing bean plant in the corner, the one that had more freckles on the right side of his face spoke up first,
"It was that one it was-"
"-Had enough of you!"
The one with more on his forehead stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.
Percy dragged him over to scold them as he struggled.
The twins clasped their hands behind their backs innocently, "Perfect percy! Have you come over to take your spot back?"
They handed him binoculars that looked halfway like a goblet, dripping orange juice out of the lenses. They pushed him to his spot shooing a student in the way of the view to Penelope.
One of them smiled widely and clasped him on the shoulder whispering, "Didn't have enough time to take the big one from the astronomy room.."
The other winked at Arthur and slowly pushed him out of Percy's reach when he clutched his curls in embarrassment shouting about detentions.
It was kind've funny, but Arthur couldn't help but feel bad for him. The whole ordeal looked embarrassing, luckily only Penelope's friends and a few Gryffindors realized what they were doing.
Penelope and her friends giggled surrounding her like a bunch of moons to jupiter.
The right face freckled one leaned in, "I'm Fred, that's George, And that's Percy- he's always like this-"
George leaned in as well,"Better get a move on, It usually takes him a few seconds to get back on you, Nice meeting eh? "
They had both outstretched their hands over one another obviously wanting a confusing double handshake.
Arthur reached in his pocket and with his own and placed a peppermint in each, showing gratitude for getting him out of trouble.
The twins stared down in surprise checking it to see if it was something exciting.
A square faced boy with eyebrows thicker than Arthurs yelled at them to not eat it, so he couldn't sabotage their performance at practice.
Arthur walked over and placed a peppermint in his own hand and watched amused as he stood up and took out his wand to cast away the 'enemies contingency plan' with two girls and the twins holding him down.
Any further chaos to occur was cut off as everyone got up flooding the walkways with timetables in hand, he saw a familiar hand in the air amidst the sea of students slowly falling and drowning.
The twins shoved him out of the red crest sea and he pushed through and hoisted Ernie up as they tried to out trample the older students who kept checking their watches before they even reached the doors.
Any shred of excitement the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins had was destroyed with a wave of a ghostly hand by the Professor in front of them.
What made it worse was that anything that came out of Professor Binns mouth sounded like a relaxing air conditioner that dripped periodically. Or a door that was left open during a quiet snowstorm.
The all were adamant at first and readied their quills, but they dropped one by one as the double period passed by.
"The first wizarding war…"
Professor Binns looked up from his glasses that he didn't need anymore taking notice of Crabbe, "Wake him up if you will…." and continued droning on.
Everyone watched Vincent Crabbe drooling as it dripped slowly, finding it much more interesting.
Arthur and the other Slytherin girl sitting beside him, Daphne Greengrass, were busy drawing their own plans. They were the only ones paying attention to the lesson but for very good reason.
(They had put aside their differences and united to a common enemy, as Crabbe stole her sweets that were sent to her from home. And as Crabbe thought it great fun to trip and steal from Arthur in his spare time.)
Arthur raised his hand,"Professor Binns, sir?"
Professor binns looked up shocked,"yes….Mr….Dent?"
"What spells did they use for the traps?"
"Ah….."
Everyone had perked up, but slowly faded as he somehow made it seem like he was describing a coffee stain.
Daphne had finished first and shoved her parchment paper over so he could have a look.
Arthur double-taked at the horrifying very well thought out medieval like design and whispered,"That's brilliant! …. but can't it just be a bit noisy instead?"
Daphne seemed a bit annoyed at not being able to send Crabbe flying but seemed to understand his reasoning and rewrote a few things including the words, 'Detonate' , 'Explode', and 'Catapult' .
If Professor Binns noticed the sparks Daphne emitted from her wand only letting Arthur throw in a few sparks. (His wand was upset at not creating as much damage as it wanted to, and Arthur was a little worried it was on the verge of snapping itself in half)
"And as I've said before….they used a tactic involving water activated traps…...as trolls have a natural passive tendency to drool all over themselves…."
Crabbe slobbered on the floor.
"The wizards had a code to get out of the way when these traps were activated…..known as Delta Drool..."
Arthur had tried incorporating a noise maker into the paper prototype trap and blew it up causing a loud boom to echo throughout the room, Crabbe got up thinking it was time to leave and slipped in his own drool.
It was lucky that Professor Binns hadn't given out a detention since he was alive and couldn't figure out how to open any of his drawers to write one. He fumbled with everything so long he gave up, took 20 points from Hufflepuff and told them to get out.
Draco whined about how he saw everything play out and demanded that Arthur get a detention with Pansy Parkinson backing him up.
(Noticeably, not including Daphne. Whether it was because of her silent threats or house loyalty he did not know.)
Professor Binns was not listening however and began to drone on and on to the empty students' seats about the history of magic showercaps and how it helped wizard spies in the war.
Arthur ran to get to Transfiguration, his battered bag bouncing around, Hannah leading them and Ernie in the back.
Daphne did not spare a glance at him in the halls as their temporary alliance had failed and ended.
As they turned into class something mind-boggling happened.
The cat that he had tried being friendly with and got lightly attacked by was standing on the desk, Glasses markings and stern expression all there to see.
Ernie pulled him down as he gaped and looked at the cat in confusion,"Did someone transfigure the teacher on accident?"
Everyone filed in looking with curiosity at the cat who swept its gaze over all of them, appearing to be using its tail to count the students.
The murmurs turned into gasps of awe and in Arthurs case, for air. As the cat made cracking noises slowly morphing….Into Professor McGonagall.
Arthur shot up out of his chair pointing at her, "You!"
The class all clapped politely for her performance while Professor McGonagall had the faintest expression of bemusement.
"Good morning , take your seat and do not address me like that again," she started adjusting her glasses and unsheathing her wand, "And for future advice…..Cats cannot and will not eat bread.."
The students around him giggled as Hannah snorted next to him, he sat down with his ears pink but otherwise unabashed, "But you ate some this morning!" he protested.
Professor McGonagall ignored him and began setting out their task for the day. In the end, they had gone through the lesson notes faster than she expected and had to replace the original first task with an attempt at turning string into rubber.
( As her other classes had proved it to be more dangerous to make a matchstick into a needle on the first try with temperamental wands, two Gryffindors managed to burn themself and one exploded the needle. Madam Pomfrey probably knew every firsts years schedule by the end of the week.)
Hannah and Justin had some success while Ernies had melted, wafting the smell of burnt rubber throughout the room.
Arthur patted him on the back,"You've turned it rubber though!"
He focused on his own and argued with the wand silently, the wand pretended to twitch and nod with him in understanding but instead sneakily made the spell movements by doing so, and turned his hand all rubbery.
Hannah had forgotten the cap to her ink bottle so Arthur unnecessarily stuck his rubber fingers together around a piece of paper to close it shut to make a point to his wand and excessively thanked it for being so useful.
After the seventh dramatic thank you the wand sparked flames of war. After the eighth, smoke shaped like a bird's nest. Most likely to make fun of his hair.
"Dewey." Beckoned Professor McGonagall at the end of class, scoffing and undoing the transfiguration to his hand as he struggled to get up as Ernie had stuck his fingers around a loose nail in the bench.
She peered at him sternly as he ran over to her desk as if launched by a rubber band himself, "How many records are you planning to break, I wonder?"
Arthur stared at her confused, "What do you mean Professor?"
Professor McGonagall shuffled some papers around and lifted up a detention slip, "Just this one i'd hope, I have obviously gotten wind of your escapades on the train…."
She held up a hand stopping him from saying anything about it, "I am aware of the reason why, although I cannot say I approve of either side."
Arthur could feel his face heat up but waited for her to continue and she quite did, "You'll be coming with our custodian Mr. Filch for detention this evening after dinner, meet him precisely at the correct time. He will be waiting near my classroom door, you will treat him with respect."
Professor McGonagall put the slip back down and folded her arms regally behind her back, "Normally your head of house, Professor Sprout would inform you but she is busy this day tending to the Mandrakes,They are quite…... needy at first."
"And take care of that unruly wand, I will not have foolish wand waving in my class, from either the wand or wizard."
She stared sternly down at the wand that glued itself to his side.
"But Professor- I don't think I can...It doesn't exactly listen..."
Professor McGonagall turned her stern gaze to his eyes instead, "You will find a way , strengthen the bond perhaps. I am not suggesting any...practical jokes you may have in mind, but a way to tone it down. I advise asking our Gamekeeper Hagrid if he requires any help...You may find it to suit you. And tone down its...ego.."
He was utterly confused on how allowing his wand free range of Magical creatures and vegetables would help him but he grabbed his things and marched to his next class, Hannah surprisingly waiting for him, probably curious of what he was wanted for.
Arthur felt a draft blow on his legs revealed from his robes, (That seemed even shorter than usual) and shivered.
"What did she want you for?"
He shrugged, "Detentions from something I did on the train- Had no choice mind you-"
"What did you do on the train!"
"Nothing much, That kid Malfoy- Nose was righted again wasn't it?"
Hannah relaxed after that and grinned, "Think so, still looked a bit bumpy if you ask me.."
Arthur winced but continued walking, "Well- Whatever, It's probably fine. Had no problem sniffin' around that kid who fell in dirt makin' a show of it-"
He crossed his arms sniffing the air all around him and walked like a regal purse dog placing his hand to his mouth to mock him,"I'm not surprised filth fell in filth!"
"I saw that the great git! it's the first day too, where does he get off saying these things..." Hannah scowled.
They walked silently for a moment as Hannah seemed to be deep in thought of turning her butterfly clips into real ones and making them innocently fly down his throat.
"Fancy a visit to Hagrid this weekend?" Arthur asked Hannah trying to cheer the mood up a little.
"Sure- He's the big friendly one right? the one who accidentally sat on that tiny tree and flattened it?"
Arthur laughed and nodded.
Hannah smiled and pushed onward as they started to kick the tiny pebbles that littered the stone floor.
"I think Neville has to go to Hagrids too, wand problems or something I heard. Don't know why he'd go to Hagrids though."
"Really? What's wrong with his?" Asked Arthur curiously.
"Transfiguration class- Wand isn't very loyal I think, turned everything he did into something pink and fluffy. Or at least that's what that girl Parvati told me in the hall."
Arthur almost snorted at the one stop solution Professor McGonagall apparently had in mind,"What, did the Professor think it would suit him?"
Either Hagrid was very wise in the wand department, or he had jobs that would break both them and their wands physically and mentally until they rebuilt themselves. That would be interesting, and it'd definitely be fun to see Neville again, and Hagrid was a friendly fellow from the start.
Hannah nodded and they walked faster time running out.
He laughed, "He'll be great- But if his wand thinks a big pink fluffy coat suits Hagrid…."
They both shared a look,"I'm definitely going then."
DADA was mostly trying to hold your breath from the garlic smell, it was great work for defending yourself but not exactly from dark magic.
Potions was an odd one. Arthur thought it'd be like cooking, and it was. There was even a big angry head chef that spewed nonsense and sounded like a rhythmic poetic dull knife dragged across an improperly used cutting board. It became very relaxing if you figured out how to block Professor Snape's sarcasm out.
An overearnest Ravenclaw boy had made the day go faster by accidentally dropping his notes into his cauldron making it boil over and smoke the whole room before Professor Snape could get to him as he was busy in the backroom. They had to stand single file and silently in the hall as he cleared the room of toxic fumes, and before they knew it was charms.
Charms was the highlight of the day, Professor Flitwick was much more forgiving if you dropped your notes. (Although, it usually didn't cause anything to emit fumes.)
They had gotten to float a feather, with Hermione annoying the red headed boy,Ron, next to him, (There appeared to be a lot of those in Hogwarts). He turned to him in disbelief as she corrected his pronunciation out loud.
As she was distracted in making sure the unwanted advice stuck in Ron's head, Arthur accidentally shot his feather into her face.
The funniest thing was that it stuck on as she told him off, when she saw him laughing she must've thought it was on purpose, taking her own feather and throwing it in his hair. It quickly dissolved into taking their bundle of feathers and shooting it at each other.
Ron got in on it and they both flung feathers at each other both choking at the same time as it got in their mouths. With Hermione smiling victoriously at avoiding it.
Professor Flitwick immediately stopped and lectured them as a few more Gryffindors and a Hufflepuff joined in as he did not want his classroom to look like someone had put a miffed cat in a padded room.
Filch was not what he had expected at all.
He held onto a bucket full of murky water like it could not separate from him, with tattered hair a musty coat stuffed full of slips and paperwork with a sharp nose. His favourite hobby was sneering.
shoved the bucket into his hands, "Here" he dug into his pocket and pulled out a rag shoving that in too.
"Clean, no magic. All of it. Be done when I get back, No touching the teacups or the crystal balls….She'll know…."
He skulked off with a mean spirited guffaw climbing down the ladder and slammed the door shut causing the tea cups to shake, leaving the huge room full of knick knacks all to Arthur.
He began scrubbing the singes off of the round desks and trying to stretch off all of the Gut gum from underneath, (Gum that gave you a temporary gut. Many fathers from wizarding families have apparently blamed them.)
The splintery trap door creaked open and his nose stuck in, his arm appeared and threw a brush on the floor for him,"No clapping the blackboard dusters together! Creates a mess, you'll be picking the chalk bits one by one to clean it! Only use the brush to clean the edges of the plaque! Softly!"
The door slammed making bits of wood fly up and Arthur bent down to pick it up along with the brush. It had a wonderful texture to play with but was rough enough to nick you.
He didn't know enough magic to actually break his instructions unless he could figure out how to silently make the broom dance. And brooms did not like dancing without a bit of singing.
Arthur could see why he chose this room, it was filled with a lingering smoke that hurt your head and everything was bundled together and dusty as if nobody bothered cleaning up anything. Like they liked it that way, with tea leaf goop scattered on the floor and melted candles.
He cleaned around the pegs of the tables stuffing broken quills in his pockets and getting entranced by it. Cleaning was quite a cathartic thing so the only punishment would be the soreness from scrubbing the floors.
Picking at the dusters was the most satisfying and he happily cleaned in between the stone bricks of the walls with the rag, and moved over the teachers desks with their plaque of their name.
He rubbed the brush quickly over it and was shocked to find it had almost immediately rubbed out half the teacher's name.
Arthur panicked and tried carving it back with the edge of the brush and it worked for the most part.
If he hadn't forgotten the teacher's name. Whoever they were, they were now Professor Treacle. As he only had the Tre part of their name to go off of.
He ran to scrub the floors to at least finish and lessen the blow when Filch found out, rubbing his hands raw.
As he had reached the end of the room nearly bumping into the giant teacup cabinet Filch re-entered the room, and swept over it with his eyes.
He looked down at the floor and grunted, "Do it again. Cauldrons are next."
Arthur walked back picking at his hands feeling sore all over, and trying to get rid of the murky water mixed with bits of lemon smell. His hands stained grey from scrubbing bottoms of cauldrons over and over.
Filch had noticed the plaque and made him scrub the room another ten times for good measure. And then ten more for cleaning it with the dirty water. They finally moved onto the next room where Filch made him wipe down every single piece of equipment in the potions room until he collapsed, finally letting him go.
Filch's cat, Miss Norris, had been keeping an eye on him, but Arthur took many detours and even ran up the shifting stairs until it found a rat that it found much more interesting to torment.
There were no longer creepy eyes on him but it landed him a new problem. He didn't know how to get back.
Arthur touched the tapestries and skimmed the wall taking it off because the texture was overwhelming, but the cold feeling good, he pressed his head against it trying to cool down. His entire body felt feverish and as if he were a giant firecracker exploding in slow motion.
"What are you doing?"
He turned with his face still smooshed to see a slightly frazzled but stern Hermione in a pink bathrobe with her arms crossed waiting for an explanation, and a flustered Neville in blue striped pajamas.
Arthur, exhausted, only could mumble,"huh?"
Hermione got closer with her hands on her hips narrowing her eyes, "You're out of bed, near our dorm no less. That'll cost you house points you know, and I don't think you can spare any from charms!"
He stared at her squinting , "You're out of bed, and why do you care?."
She blushed,"That's different, Neville couldn't remember the password and when I came to help our door fell asleep! and I care because you roped me into it, you're probably doing something to cost us all house points again!"
Arthur was luckily already red from cleaning and forced himself to stand up straight, "That was an accident! And you had no problem join-"
Hermione got as worked up as he did,"Well what was I supposed to do? Sit there and take it?"
"Guys?"
"Oh you took it, took it and ran with it-"
"Uh. Guys?"
Neville had stepped in between them hesitantly trying to get them to stop, but they simply took one step to the side and kept bickering.
The apprehensive look on Neville's face grew to look annoyed.
Footsteps sounded and he started to sweat looking from the corner to the annoying duo, it got closer and closer, he began to try and push them behind the corner resulting in various yelps and ,'Heys!'.
Neville was frantic,"Come on! there's footsteps!"
"Are you sure?" challenged Hermione, which made Arthur look at her exasperated.
"Please don't you two start arguing if they're there or not-"
They both had enough decency to look ashamed,"Sorry.." Arthur mumbled embarrassed.
A cane tapped the floor and began to get closer. They froze.
A small figure turned the corner, big pointy ears with gray hair sticking out of it. Large shiny dark eyes and a skinny but wide nose with half circular glasses that looked like they were taken from a dusty old bottle.
It had a tattered book underneath his arm with folded pages sticking out, it cleared its throat tapping its giant candy cane.
"I haven't heard such a pointless dispute since the pudding department couldn't decide on pecan or cashew.."