Chapter 11

"Can you feel the ball in your hand?"

"No," Merlin said in frustration. The doctors had been placing different objects in his hand for the past half hour and asking if he could feel any of them. The answer was yet to change.

"That's ok, we'll try something else."

Merlin looked at Arthur helplessly and his husband smiled back. Merlin had been poked, prodded, tapped and squeezed in every part of his arm over and over again to try and stimulate a reaction.

"Oh!"

Merlin turned back to look at the nurse, "What?"

"You moved your finger!"

"No I didn't."

"You did, it just twitched."

"I didn't do it on purpose," Merlin assured her, staring at his finger as if it were completely alien.

"That's ok, it's good. Even if it wasn't intentional. Look, we'll leave it for now, I'll let you get some rest. But we'll do some scans later before the operation tomorrow."

The nurse strapped Merlin's arm back up in the sling and left. Merlin rubbed his face with a sigh, wincing as his side twinged with pain. With the issues involving his arm and shoulder, it was easy to forget he'd been shot in the side and had a head wound.

"That was just about as useful as trying to poke my right leg would be," Merlin said sourly.

"Merls, come on. Your arm can still get better, they said yesterday's surgery wasn't going to fix it, that was just for the infection. So the fact there's been movement today is amazing."

"It's so strange," Merlin looked down to where his arm was bound up, "I can feel my arm on my chest but not my chest on my arm."

"Everyone's desperate to see you, you know," Arthur said, "I lied and told them the police didn't want anyone visiting you yet because of their investigations. But I reckon too much longer and Gwen will be storming the hospital regardless." As soon as they'd found out what was happening, Gwen and Lance had come straight home from Norway, cutting their holiday a little bit short. They hadn't complained at all. They'd said their holiday had been amazing, they'd had all the time they needed to do everything they wanted and if something had happened, they'd have felt guilty forever for missing it.

"I don't want to tell them."

"We don't have to. Just say that's where you got stabbed. They don't need the details."

Merlin nodded, "Does my mum know everything, though?"

Arthur nodded. "You should get some sleep," he suggested, "I'll call a few people, ask if they want to come in for evening visiting. I love you," Arthur kissed Merlin, "It'll get better."

So, that night after Merlin and Arthur had eaten, Morgana, Gwen and Lancelot came in to see him.

"We've been so worried," Gwen gushed as she hugged him, slightly awkwardly to avoid hurting him, "You're so brave. It must hurt so much."

Merlin put a hand on his side, "Yeah," was all he said. Earlier that day when he'd got frustrated because of his arm, he'd tried to sit up and calm himself but only resulted in pulling at the stitching around the gunshot and starting a waterfall of bleeding again. It had taken over an hour to get under control and he was still feeling a little woozy because of it.

"Thanks for taking the dogs," Arthur said to his sister as he hugged her.

"We need the practice," Morgana smiled, "We're adopting a dog in a couple of months. Luke's desperate for one. Hi, squid," she turned to Merlin and hugged him, "How are you doing?"

"Bored."

"You got shot," Lance said as he came over with chairs for everyone, "That's like something that would happen to a hero in a movie."

"Shot and stabbed," Merlin said, "Things to add to the list of 'Ways Merlin had been Injured' with explosions, drowning, car crashes, infections, drugs and stairs."

"There's got to be more than that," Lancelot laughed.

"Oh, definitely."

Arthur grinned, glad the confusion which had thickened Merlin's mind the previous day seemed to have passed. The doctors had theorised it could have just been shock, blood-loss or concussion but whichever way, it was gone. Seeing his friends cheered Merlin up and took his mind off the operation he was having tomorrow. Because it concerned nerve damage, they couldn't risk Merlin moving at all so had to put him under anaesthetic completely. Merlin's history with general anaesthetic wasn't exactly good and he was worried about what might happen while he was asleep. Arthur who was also terrified, had gone as far as to find and pay for the best specialist available to perform the operation.

"So what's operation for?" Morgana asked conversationally.

"Something about my arm," Merlin said, "I don't know the details, I swear they speak a different language here."

"They're operating while there's an infection?" Morgana asked, "Will that not make it more likely for the infection to spread?"

Merlin shrugged with his good shoulder, "I assume they know what they're doing."

"Have you spoken to them, Arthur?" Morgana asked her brother quietly when Merlin was chatting away happily to Gwen and Lance.

"Yes, they, erm, they said it was urgent and if they didn't operate soon then it could get more dangerous. Infections, they can deal with, other stuff, not so much."

"What kind of other stuff?"

"Morgs, a knife was embedded all the way through his shoulder. As in, so far it came out the other side. That does a lot of damage that needs to be fixed."

Morgana narrowed her eyes suspiciously but dropped the subject and turned her attention to the other conversation.

A couple of hours later, Arthur was getting his stuff together to head off. He was staying in a hotel nearby until the police were sure all the Druids had been arrested.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Arthur kissed Merlin, "Before you go to theatre, I promise."

"Love you," Merlin kissed him back passionately, "Sleep well."

"You too. See you in the morning."

"Text me when you get back."

Arthur nodded and squeezed his hand.

The next day, he returned to find Merlin sitting in his bed, looking at his phone screen gravely.

"Morning, gorgeous," Arthur went over and sat on the edge of the bed, "What's up?"

Merlin handed his phone to Arthur and watched him read the news article.

"Oh, Merlin."

"Did I make a mistake?"

"No," Arthur assured him, "What you did was amazing."

"Really? No one else seems to think so."

Apparently, there had been a torrent of complaints and arguments about Merlin's decision to allow old members of the Druids to work in the business. People said that they were dangerous, couldn't be trusted with other people's lives or safety and didn't deserve a chance at a job. There were all sorts of comments and words of abuse streaming in. And the anger about the new employees had sparked all sorts of other homophobic and discriminatory comments, all of which was aimed at Merlin.

"I thought I'd done something right," Merlin cried, "But I've lost us so many customers, now. Ruined our name. No one will want to come, they'll feel abandoned."

"No, you haven't. We can prove everyone wrong," Arthur soothed, "You gave the chance of life to over a dozen people. They're not going to let you down."

"And if they do?"

"Then it's their fault, not yours."

"No one will believe that. I've ruined everything, I-"

"Hush," Arthur took his hand, "You are such a good man. Not many people would have had the bravery to do what you did the other day. The people you introduced to our business would have spent the rest of their lives in jail if you hadn't given them the opportunity to do something better. Something amazing. They're going to impact people's lives positively now. Only because you're brave and forgiving enough to let them try instead of having them arrested."

"Everyone hates me."

"Listen to me," Arthur said, "While you're in surgery, I'll go into work and talk to everyone. By the time you wake up, everything will be sorted, ok?"

Merlin nodded uneasily.

As soon as Merlin was in surgery, Arthur drove to the offices and talked to everyone. They'd been dealing with complaints all morning. Poor Gwen, who was in charge of customer services, was run off her feet.

"We need to make a press statement. Something that can't be twisted or taken the wrong way. Something that's honest and genuine."

"An apology?" Gwaine asked, still red faced from all the shouting he'd done earlier.

"No, an explanation. We can't ignore it, it would look awful."

"So we get defensive. Beg for people to come back?"

"No," Arthur sighed, "Gwaine, I know you're annoyed. The things that were said were horrible."

"So we're really going to continue to help people who will turn around and shout abuse at us in less than a second?"

"Gwaine-"

"They insulted our very existence," Gwaine shouted, "Me and Percy, you and Merlin. You're going to let them do that? We've done so much to help them! Have you read what they said?"

"Yes, Gwaine but getting into an argument or a scandal is hardly what we need. I know our own customers have used homophobic language and insulted Merlin but he's only worried about the business. He's trying to show bad people reasons to be good. And he nearly died in the process. Please don't ruin it. We can show everyone that these people can be trusted. We just need to get through the initial anger and fear."

"I've drafted this statement," Gwen said, handing out pieces of paper, "I thought we could go through it together. Make any adjustments before it's released."

For the next couple of hours, they all read through what Gwen had written until they were happy with it.

"I'll get it published," Gwen said, "Thanks everyone."

"Look at this," Morgana said when they all went back into the room where their desks were rather than the meeting room. They could see on the tv screen which showed the footage from their security cameras that there were dozens of press reporters outside.

Arthur swore, "How am I meant to get through them to the car?" he was aware that he needed to be back at the hospital for Merlin getting out of surgery.

"I'll gladly come down and help," Gwaine growled.

Percival placed a hand on his husband's arm, "No."

"I'll come," Morgana offered.

"So will I," Gwen said.

The girls talked to the press while Arthur slipped into his car and drove away. They knew that later there would be all sorts of speculation and assumptions about why he'd avoided the media and where he'd been going. To Arthur though, Merlin was more important.

He still had a bit of waiting to do when he got to the hospital so read through some of the articles online. There seemed to be a relatively good response to the statement but it had also triggered more arguments online with more people defending them. It was all a bit of a mess. He saw a video link to Morgana talking to the press and clicked on it, turning the volume up.

"Did everyone agree taking on employees from the Druid gang?" the interviewer asked.

"None of us could ever have hoped to be as trusting and kind as Merlin is," Morgana said, "But we believe in his judgements and have worked closely with lawyers and the police to make sure everything will be perfectly safe for our customers and guests. The employees we've taken on have a lot of training to do and a lot to prove but if they can, why should we deny them?"

"How many chances will they get?"

"There's still every chance any one of them could go to prison if they don't put everything they have into this job," Morgana explained, "But in many ways these people are much less fortunate than us. They just need to turn their life around."

"The Druids are a well-known gang. They're famous for drug dealing and they have a violent history, even being responsible for the death of man recently. Are they given the same opportunities?"

"Those responsible for last week's murder are already in prison and won't be working for us. We've trusted everyone to give us their full history and all their offences. Those who deserve punishment will be given it alongside their work unless their offence is so bad we feel we can't take them on."

"Do you understand why some people feel that none of them deserve a job which holds such responsibility?"

"We do. But forgiveness is important to an extent. And if these people haven't had the chance to do anything good in their lives, why shouldn't they be given that chance?"

"Is it true that one of the manager's fathers used to be a Druid?"

"Yes," Morgana sighed, "But he was a good man, brought into a horrible situation. Which is why we're willing to give these people a chance. We know how they work and lots of people are stuck in a terrible situation. Merlin's father was threatened with his life and he was stuck with the Druids for years. The people in control are horrible and everyone else is trapped. We can't free them and then send them straight to jail."

Arthur turned the video off, proud of how his sister dealt with the reporters. He knew Gwen would have done equally well. By now, the statement was out and being scrutinised by everyone. They'd included an abridged version of Balinor's story, using as much emotional vocabulary as they could manage without exaggerating or lying. It was, in their opinion, important to make sure everyone knew the truth. The initial chaos had also died down a bit, perhaps because those who were angry to begin with were starting to change their mind.

At least Arthur was starting to see supportive comments now too. Although the messages which had been insulting about Merlin's disability and sexuality had deeply upset him.

"Arthur Pendragon?" a nurse came into the waiting room.

"Yes," he stood up, "Is he alright?"

"Sorry, I don't know. I just came to ask you to move elsewhere. There are reporters here, wanting to see you. The police have said you're not to see them but this is a public space, so…"

"Of course. I'm sorry if they're bothering you."

"Don't worry. I'll take you somewhere private, if you'll follow me?"

Before the nurse left him alone in the room, Arthur asked her, "Could you possibly get an update on my husband? It's been several hours, I was expecting to know something by now."

"I'll see what I can find out for you."

"Thank you."

He waited patiently, keeping himself up to date with what was being said about them online.

"Hi, Arthur, sorry to keep you waiting," a doctor came in dressed in messy looking scrubs.

"Don't worry about it, how is he?"

"We had an issue," the doctor said.

Arthur wasn't surprised. There was always an issue.

"He started fitting in the middle of the operation, an effect of the anaesthetic, we think."

"Ok," Arthur waited worriedly for a further explanation.

"We had to prioritise his life over his arm, of course, and in the process of getting him stable again, his shoulder was jolted. Everything had been going well until then and we did everything we could afterwards to get it sorted again but there's no telling until he's woken up and recovered a bit."

"You continued the operation after the fit?"

"Leaving the arm how it was at that stage wouldn't have ended well, it almost definitely would have turned out useless."

Arthur sighed, "Can I see him?"

"Not just yet. But I'll come back and get you when you can."

"Thank you."

It was nearly an hour before Arthur was actually allowed to see Merlin. He'd been told during that hour that Merlin had suffered from another two fits and a panic attack when he initially woke up after the surgery. Arthur was furious he hadn't been told as a matter of urgency to come and help calm his husband down.

He had to fight past several press reporters to get to Merlin's room, eventually getting so annoyed that he turned politely, "I'm sorry, I can't answer any questions at the moment. I hope you all understand my husband's well-being is more important to me at the moment."

"Is he awake?" Arthur asked the doctor as they entered the ward.

"He was when I came to get you. We've been monitoring him closely since he got out of surgery, we'll continue to do so until we're happy. Just take it easy with him, he's a little shaken."

Arthur nodded and let himself into Merlin's room.

"Well?" Merlin asked weakly.

"Well, what?"

"Is it sorted? You promised you'd sort it."

"It's getting there. How are you feeling?"

"Weird. Still can't feel my arm but I also can't feel anything else now either. And I have the worst headache imaginable."

"That's because your body had a ridiculous aversion to anaesthetic. With the amount of trouble you get into, you'd think you'd at least allow people to help you."

"Did it work?" Merlin asked hopefully.

"We don't know yet. You seemed to want to do everything in your power to make it go as badly as possible."

"When will we know?"

"Once you sleep off the drugs and have had time to recover."

"What if I lose it?"

"You won't," Arthur assured him, "I promise. It'll get better. Go to sleep. I'm sure they'll have tests for you to do when you wake up."

"Are you staying?"

Arthur nodded, "Where else would I go?"

Three days passed very similarly. Merlin's arm didn't look like it was getting any better and Arthur had been forced to explain the situation to his friends at work. It hadn't done anything to ease Gwaine's anger which was still bubbling from the previous week. The initial drama about hiring the Druids at Albion had died down when a few customer reviews had become public, explaining how safe they'd felt given the police interventions.

The people who had left the homophobic and insulting comments had been tracked down and asked politely to keep their opinions to themselves and not visit their properties until those opinions had changed.

When Merlin was finally allowed home, his arm all but useless in it's sling, he was very sombre. He'd adamantly refused to be wheeled out of the hospital so had allowed Arthur to help him put his prosthetic leg on and had limped through the corridors.

"It tingles," he said to Arthur that evening as he was watching his husband cook them dinner and stroking Killi who had picked up on his sadness and was nuzzling his head on Merlin's lap.

"Tingles?"

"Like pins and needles."

"Where?"

"All the way up from my fingers."

Arthur put down the spoon he was holding and crossed the room. He took Merlin's sling off for him and held his hand, "Can you feel that?"

Merlin shook his head, "Only the tingling."

"Here," Arthur massaged Merlin's arm until the sensation had gone away, "Better?"

Merlin kissed Arthur, "Thank you."

Arthur re-strapped Merlin's arm and returned to the food. He'd thought about the meal carefully so it was something Merlin could eat with only one hand but still enjoy.

They ate together quietly and then went straight to bed. Merlin was eager to get back to normality after all the time spent hiding from the Druids, so they were going back to work the next day.

Normally, Arthur would sleep on the left side of the bed and Merlin would sleep on the right. But, for the sake of having cuddles and not hurting Merlin's bad left shoulder, they switched and snuggled up together that way. They still had to be careful because of shot wound but it was wrapped up tightly enough to not be much trouble. They were just happy to be sleeping beside each other.

Arthur had been gently rubbing Merlin's upper arm for about ten minutes before he realised Merlin couldn't feel it and stopping awkwardly.

Merlin faltered with what he was saying when Arthur stopped and it dawned on Arthur that Merlin could still feel the movement on his back as Arthur's arm muscles moved. To try and make it seem less awkward, Arthur shuffled a bit and put his hand on Merlin's hip instead, using his thumb to rub little circles.

"I almost thought I could feel it," Merlin said, changing the topic of conversation completely, "But it was just my imagination because I knew what you were doing."

Arthur smiled sympathetically, "I'm sorry."

Merlin shook his head, "It's alright."

"You know what the doctors said about the tingling sensation. It's good."

"Yeah. It's just annoying because there's no guaranteeing it'll get better. There's no physio or rehab I can do, there's no exercises to strengthen it or make sure we get there. We just have to wait and hope."

"The knife practically severed the nerves," Arthur said, "The doctors can't necessarily fix your nerves. It's down to the body. And you were already injured."

"Are you trying to prepare me for the worst?"

"No, I'm just explaining. Ok, I need to go and lock the back door. I'll be back in a second."

They'd left the door open for the dogs because they'd been taking their time going for their toilet break that evening for some reason and Merlin was desperate to go to bed. So Arthur had gone upstairs to help him as getting changed with only one leg, one usable arm and a shot wound in his side was very difficult.

By the time Arthur got back, Merlin had drifted off, so Arthur got ready for bed himself and carefully inserted himself into bed.

At their daily meeting at work the next day, Elyan raised something, "One of the new employees who's been given placement at Mercia has requested work here instead."

"Why?" Morgana asked.

"I don't think they like the idea of being in the public eye."

"We did send a lot more to Mercia than anywhere else."

"It would be useful to have someone to answer the phone and the door."

"So have him based at the desk downstairs?" Leon suggested.

"If we continue to expand, there are going to be a lot more people coming here for meetings. And most of us spend more time on the phone than doing our work."

"Would you feel comfortable with that?" Gwen asked Merlin.

"How could I expect the rest of the staff and guests to work with them if I'm not prepared to?" Merlin replied easily, "I'm happy if everyone else is."