She stopped the car in front of Kudo's house, a few meters before the gate and pulled out the cell phone from the pocket of her jeans. Quickly she wrote the words "I arrived" and sent that e mail to Shiho. She checked one last time to be neat and then took a deep breath, looking for in herself all the calm as possible to deal with that situation. She couldn't deny being terribly nervous, and this was at the expense of her intention to appear as normal as possible. Fear is never a good counselor and often leads to mistakes.
She got out of the car at the precise moment when the gate of the house of the Doctor opened, letting out the figure of Shiho. They greeted each other with a silent nod, despite the few meters that separated them and that became less and less as Shiho neared. They addressed only when they faced each other, so close that they can read the tension on each other face. Even her young friend shared her fears, despite her position was less at risk.
- Ready?- she simply said.
- And you?- answered the girl.
They both nodded, decided to carry out the plan they had worked out a few hours earlier. She rang the bell, waiting with her friend at her side.
- Who is it?- they heard Shinichi's voice, which seemed metallic because of the intercom.
- It's Jodie!- she said with her usual enthusiasm.
They heard the gate click and open, allowing them to enter and walk directly to the front door, from which emerged out of the young landlord. They expected that he was surprised to see them together, instead he received them very naturally, as if for years they went to visit him together. Probably Shuichi had warned him that they both would have come.
- Come, we've been waiting for you- he motioned them to enter.
- Hi Cool Guy!- she threw her arms around him in a burst that left stunned both he and Shiho.
She wasn't pretending, she was really glad to see that boy that, kid or not, had won the title of her favorite detective. Even ten years older it was always amazing all what he had done in the fight against the Organization, as well as was surprising his intuition. Before knowing him she had always thought that Shuichi was some kind of genius, but now she had to admit that this guy had nothing to envy him.
She hugged him like you do with a plush, oblivious to the fact that the young detective was red-faced and quite embarrassed to find himself with his body attached to her. He was still a teenager, feeling the soft curves of a woman caused him understandable reactions.
- But you see, the investigative agency's Miss would be very jealous if she knew that you make yourself pampered by mature women!- intervened Shiho, who until then had been watching the scene amused with a sly air.
- What are you talking about, I'm too old for him!- she finally distanced him from her.
- What does this have to do with? You're a beautiful woman with experience, the dream of every teenager-
- Will you just stop?!- he complained, more and more embarrassed.
They continued that interlude among digs and laughter, until they were interrupted by Shuichi, attracted by those noises. The tension that seemed to have dissolved due to that special boy reappeared, stronger than before.
- Akai-san, our guests are here- Shinichi broke the silence, smiling at his friend.
- I see- he simply replied, trying to smile back with poor results.
While Shinichi's smile appeared natural and spontaneous, Shuichi's one seemed almost a grimace, as if behind it there was always a certain malice, something hidden that will not bode well. She loved the man, but she had to admit that in some ways it was disturbing to the times.
- Welcome- he greeted them, trying to do the honors, although that was not his home - Your friend isn't there?- he asked immediately, addressed Shiho.
She glanced quickly to her friend, who reciprocated: they both knew that their plan had started at that precise moment.
They couldn't afford to make mistakes, no matter how much Shuichi could put them in awe.
- Well... to be honest she is the friend I was talking about- she replied, not with little trouble or hesitation.
- What?!- exclaimed surprised Shinichi, opening his eyes widely - And since when are you two friends?-
- Well... not too much longer!- she snapped, trying as much as possible to avoid details.
- Now I understand why you said I knew her too- he addressed Shiho.
- Eh right!- she said, forcing herself to smile.
It was a dialogue anything but spontaneous and natural, certainly they hadn't started with the right foot. The only thing they had got to know was that Shinichi didn't suspect anything, at least him. On the contrary, Shuichi remained impassive as ever, with that smirk on his lips. He didn't seem barely surprised by the news, it was as if they had told him that they had seen a nice pair of shoes with heels in a store window and this, certainly, wasn't a good sign. Usually you remain impassive in the face of something you already know. Or maybe he doesn't care about the fact that they were friends or not? The more they tried to resolve the doubts and the more other doubts were added to those already present.
- If I had known it was Jodie I wouldn't have even said to invite her, since I had already done it- he finally said - But now I'm very curious to know how you became friends-
She felt the blood run cold in the veins at that question, the only one for which she and her friend hadn't planned a response. Why didn't they think of that?! It was obvious that if they presented themselves as friends someone would have asked them under what circumstances they had become, but at the phone they had both been too busy to focus on what not to say rather than what to say. She glanced furtively at Shiho, hoping she had a ready answer: actually she found her with her own expression on her face. She refused to believe that their plan had gone up in smoke even before starting, so she did what she knew best to do in difficult situations: improvise. If she had managed to convince inspector Megure that Camel was her boyfriend she could even invent a meeting.
- Well… we met by chance! I was walking and I saw her sitting on a bench, so we started chatting about this and that and we found ourselves very well!- she smiled forcibly, hoping to have recovered that moment of initial confusion.
She prayed that Shuichi had bought it, she wasn't sure how her lies were effective on someone like him, used to feel the rotten smell from a mile away.
- Who would have thought, I just didn't think you'd get along so well, you're completely different temperamentally speaking!- Shinichi stepped in, more and more surprised by the news.
- What do you mean by that?- Shiho narrowed her gaze, taking the words of his friend as a warning to her character not so much jovial and expansive.
- Nothing, except that I am very surprised!- he justified himself.
She expected an answer from him who had asked the question, but it didn't arrive. Shuichi seemed satisfied with that explanation, so it seemed to say the expression on his face. However she shouldn't lower her guard: he was good at pretending, much more than her. He had faked his death, high-level stuff compared to a colleague-boyfriend.
- Well, then I think we can get comfortable in the lounge and eat our cake, what do you think?- he proposed, staring firstly her and then Shiho.
- Ok!- she winked happily.
As they walked down the hall, she let Shinichi and Shuichi escorting them, with a gap of just over one meter. She needed a quick consultation with her friend, to know what she thought of the behavior of her colleague.
- Do you think he believed what I told him?- she whispered.
- I don't know, he has a strange face that doesn't convince me at all. Better not lower our guard and keep us ready for any kind of question- advised her the auburn hair girl.
She didn't have time to respond, because her attention was caught by the wonderful cake that was displayed on the table in the center of the room. It was really fantastic, she wondered how Shuichi could have find a cake like that in such a short time, only to live up to that little acting. If on one side that was mouth-watering, on the other it was one more reason to fear "the adversary." Even in small things he could find a convincing solution, in contrast to her who struggled to stay afloat in the innocent lie that she had created.
- Wow, that's wonderful- she let that exclamation slip in her mother tongue, sitting down on the couch followed by Shiho - It's a shame to cut it-
- But if you don't cut it you can't eat it- said the girl, which however was busier at keeping an eye on Shuichi than at watching the cake.
- I'm also curious to taste it- confessed Shinichi while distributing the saucers for all.
Her gaze passed from the cake to his companion, who had started to it into slices of the same size and to put each of these in one of the saucers. It seemed quiet, maybe too much.
When all of them were seated and had had their slice they began to enjoy that masterpiece.
- It's really delicious!- exclaimed the young detective, then turning a smile to his friend sitting next to him on the opposite side to their - Excellent choice Akai-san!-
- Thank you, I'm glad you like it- reciprocated his friend - And what do you think?- he addressed them.
- I agree with Cool Guy, it's fantastic!- she nodded.
- I'm gaining weight just looking at it- it was the cold and listless comment of Shiho, who however continued to put in her mouth a forkful after the other, arousing the laughter of all.
- Why, do you have weight problems?- she looked at her doubtfully, but at the same time letting her know that she was joking.
- No, because usually I don't eat cakes-
- Instead you should, at your age you work off faster-
They would continue with that comic theater if the looks of the two men on the other side of the table focused on them hadn't put them in awe. They had let themselves go too much, they were not used to see them conversing as if they were friends for a lifetime. The difference in their looks, though, was substantial: while Shinichi's one showed a sincere amazement, Shuichi's one was more inquiring, veiled by a note of malice. She had the feeling that soon would have come another question: the problem was that she didn't know which, and this didn't allow her to prepare in advance an answer.
- Since you become so friend, I assume that you have already gone out together. Is it not so?-
Here it is, the fateful question, perhaps even worse than the previous. Why asking such a thing? It wasn't difficult to guess, there was only one reason why Shuichi could do it: their date last night. The doubt he could know was turning more and more into a certainty. Now she was the one to have a question: how the hell did he find out in less than twenty-four hours? She turned to look Shiho, which had stiffened and was looking at her in return. Even she didn't know what to say. There was only one option: telling the truth.
- Actually we saw each other only once- she admitted, hoping it was the best move.
- By any chance it was last night?-
She opened her eyes widely, wincing slightly followed by his friend. There could be no doubt now, it was clear that he knew. Those questions were too specific to be made at random, out of sheer curiosity. They couldn't run away, they had fallen into his trap. Suddenly that sweet cake had become a bitter pill to swallow, as if it contained poison.
- Ho-how do you know it…?- she asked, swallowing hard.
- When I went to Doctor Agasa's house to invite Shiho, he has bequest out a small detail, namely that our young lady had gone out last night. Therefore, by connecting the two, I deduced that she was out with you- he explained naturally and with a pinch of satisfaction.
They could argue, Shiho could say that was not assumed she was gone out exactly with Jodie; however they didn't manage to say anything, they remained silent staring at the cake that remained in their saucers. Anything they could have said or did at that moment would have seemed just a pathetic excuse to hide the reality of the facts. Among the players seated at that table Shuichi was undoubtedly the best and, as such, took advantage of their silence to make his next move, now certain that the victory would be won.
- So, what have you been doing? You will certainly not go for a drink, since the Princess here isn't old enough for doing so. Moreover, just like the young detective said, you don't have many passions in common-
- What do you know about that?!- blurted out suddenly Shiho, who until then had left it was just her to talk.
She must have felt under pressure too, forced to keep the secret of which only she was the real culprit. She felt sorry to have put her in that situation, she didn't want it to end like this.
- Maybe I'm wrong?- asked calmly Shuichi, staring straight at her, perhaps in an attempt to instill her fear.
- It's none of your business what I do when I see Jodie, you should stop always pry into my affairs!- she continued with that harsh tone.
- Come on, calm down- intervened, placing his hand on her shoulder - Shu was just curious to know, he didn't want to bother anyone. We went to eat at a very nice revolving sushi restaurant which she advised me, then I dragged her to the arcade with the promise that next time we would have gone out we would have done something she liked instead- she finally explained turned to him.
- So you dragged her into your world of laser guns and joysticks?- he joked, aware of her passion for video games.
- Oh yeah!- she smiled, although she wasn't serene.
She removed her hand from her friend's shoulder when she felt that her tense muscles were loose again, although not completely. The latter thanked her with a slight nod. If anything she could say to have done one right thing that night.
- But if you have always complained when children asked you to play with them at the video games designed by the Doctor!- intervened Shinichi, who in that story was the only one, paradoxically, to not understand anything.
- Yes, but the ones I've played with Jodie does not have anything to do with those of the Doctor, they're much more exciting!- she replied with a posh air, resuming to eat the cake.
The shocked face of the young detective was so funny that she smiled attracting everyone's attention. It was comical to see the detective of detectives before the only case he couldn't solve.
- What you did in the arcade?- resumed Shuichi with his questions.
- Oh, very exciting things! We made a rally race and then we shot the space aliens!- she nodded convinced, feeling more at ease with those questions less focused than the previous.
- And so you can drive, Princess?- he addressed Shiho.
- If I could would it be a problem?- she said coldly, although the tone was not lit like before.
- Of course not. And tell me, did you manage to beat Jodie? It should be easy, since she isn't really an ace at the wheel-
- That's not true!- she grumbled, pouting and making everyone smile.
- Instead Jodie is very good, I didn't manage to beat her- she confessed, smiling at her.
Between a chat and the other they all had now finished their piece of cake. Good, no doubt about it, even if not precisely tasted in the best way. That dialogue started badly, however, it seemed to have turned into a pleasant conversation. Perhaps the worst was over, maybe Shuichi just wanted a confirmation that they went out together and nothing more. On the other hand, he couldn't really suspect what they were told. Telling the truth up to that point hadn't been such a bad idea, at least now they had all removed a pebble in their shoe.
- Somebody wants another slice of cake?- asked Shinichi.
- I confess that the temptation is so great but I can't afford to put on weight with the work I do- she confessed reluctantly.
- I pass, I already feel like Genta and the Doctor- stressed in a not so nice but ironic way Shiho.
- Well, since our guests are so careful about the figure, it's better if I carry the rest of the cake in the refrigerator before it goes bad. If you wish another slice you can come back tomorrow, always if our landlord agrees- he looked at Shinichi.
- Of course, there's no problem!- he confirmed.
When she saw Shuichi getting up and closing the cake box, she got up and began to collect the plates and cutlery.
- I'll help you carry things in the kitchen- she justified.
Not that she cared to do well as a guest, she simply wanted to spend some time alone with him. She didn't expect the conversation of the century but wanted to know better what he thought of the whole thing. The truth was that she was afraid that the friend had it in for her, for some reason. She had managed to establish with Shiho that relationship that he couldn't, perhaps this hurt him even if he didn't want to show it.
When they reached the kitchen she put the dishes in the sink and filled it with water and detergent, while Shuichi put the cake in the refrigerator. He hadn't said a word, so if she wanted to have a conversation with him she had to be the one to initiate it.
- I hope you didn't mind if Shiho had replied you in a rude way, she's a bit impulsive and doesn't like when you breathe down her neck, but she doesn't hate you, otherwise she wouldn't have accepted your invitation- she tried to reassure him, thinking he was a bit down because of her friend's reaction.
- You seem to know her well although you go out together only recently- he replied, remaining with his back turned.
- We become attached immediately even if it seems unbelievable- she smiled - And although you wouldn't think in some ways we are alike-
- It's weird, because from what I understood she doesn't like people who meddle in the affairs of others, especially in her own-
Like the skilled sniper who he was, he took aim and shot straight to her heart, piercing it with a single, lethal bullet. She stood still as a statue, staring at him with wide eyes and the blood flowing profusely inside her from that wound just inflicted. She couldn't understand why he was saying those things. Or rather, she knew, but didn't want to admit it to herself, because doing so meant losing the game on all fronts.
He finally turned to her, staring at her with a serious look. There was no sign of anger in his eyes, only that twinkle he had every time that something was wrong. He kept everything bottled up, what came out were only drops of an unseen storm.
- The evening of the clarification Shiho told me she had promised a "good person" who she would have listened to me.
I gave it for granted that this person was Doctor Agasa, since she had no adult friends except from Shinichi, with whom she had quarreled. But now there is no longer any doubt that it's you the person she was talking about. And if you convinced her to come back that means you have told her what I wanted to tell her before I did it by myself. It was the only way to convince her. This means that you meddled in affairs that don't concern you- he ended.
He didn't take his eyes of her, he seemed to want to ensure that the shot that had launched had been successful. He was waiting to see her collapsing. She bit her lip, seized with a feeling of awe mixed with pain. She was aware from the beginning that she had meddled in a matter that didn't concern her in any way, she also knew that there would have been consequences if it had come to know. She imagined that Shuichi wouldn't take it well, but she never imagined to be treated so coldly. On the other hand if Shiho was there it was thanks to her, so he could show a minimum of gratitude after all. Over the years she realized that that man knew how to be loved and at the same time also to be hated with equal ease.
- I…just wanted…- she mumbled with a hanging head, unable to say anything.
- To get her back?- he completed the sentence in her place - Why were you so interested that she clarified with me? You are a stranger in this whole thing, what would you have made?-
In an instant the pain turned to anger. So in his personal perspective a person was bound to do something just to have a self-interest? Of course, as he had done with her, leaving her behind because his relationship with her had threatened the one with Akemi, thereby preventing him from reaching his goal. In Shuichi Akai's vocabulary didn't exist the word "altruism".
- I have to do something just to have a self-interest? Cannot I just want to help someone I care?- she glared at him, more and more hurt by his words.
- You didn't even know her until two days ago, so why you cared so much to help her?-
- I wasn't talking about her, in fact!- she hold back her tears, although her eyes were now lucid.
There was a moment of silence, in which neither of them looked at each other in the face. They were both metabolizing in their own way what they couldn't get over.
- You know I do not like that other nose in my business- he pointed out.
- Too bad you always do it with others!- she let out, clenching her fists to contain the anger that was growing inside her, without even looking at him.
- When did I would have done your own business?-
A part of her, the one that had silenced to convince herself that it was fine to have been dumped for a good cause, would have wanted to answer with a resounding "never", making him feel guilty for never having asked her how she was after their breakup. Not a phone call, not a message. She had told him that it was fine, but it was clear that it wasn't so, and she had hoped until the end that he'd notice. Instead he, cold as always, had ignored everything. It was enough only a single, simple word to make him feel like he had made her feel. A word that she couldn't say, as she had failed to tell him so many things.
- I'm sorry if I got your own business, it won't happen again- she apologized, more to end the conversation became too heavy than to bear for sincere repentance.
- Can I know what you say to convince her?- he asked, in a tone less accusatory than before.
- Simply the truth, which actually you really cared for Akemi and you've done everything to avenge her. I couldn't say more, since I don't know anything more than that. I just wanted to let her know that you were not a heartless murderess as she thought, that's all-
There was again a moment of silence, in which the only noise that can be heard was that of Shuichi's steps, who had started to head back towards the hall, a sign that for him the matter ended there. On the contrary, she remained motionless with her head down, paralyzed from the anger and the pain that were destroying her slowly.
- Thank you-
The sound of that word so kind came to her ears like a loud noise. The anger that clouded her mind prevented her from grasping the sincerity that was behind: at the time she also saw only what he wanted to see. It seemed that thanksgiving was just another way to make fun of her, to humiliate her. Firstly he attacked her and then thanked her ?!
If he wanted to inflict the coup de grace, congratulations: he had certainly succeeded.
- Don't mention it- she replied contemptuously, with maybe more coolly than he had used with her, if possible.
Walking fast she passed him without even looking at him, coming out of the kitchen directed to the hall. She couldn't stay a single moment longer in that place with him, not after the way he had treated her.
She found Shinichi and Shiho who were chatting unaware of all; they turned to look at her as soon as they saw her enter with the fury of a summer typhoon.
- Thanks for the hospitality, it has made me very happy to see you again Cool Guy- she greeted him hurriedly, but being careful not to sound rude, since it wasn't his fault.
- But how, you leave already Jodie-sensei?-
- Yes, unfortunately I have work to do for tomorrow, and I just can stay here no longer, it's already getting late!- she lied, smiling forcibly.
She wasn't a good liar, not in situations like that one where her emotions shone from every part of her body. Surely to a smart guy like Shinichi that particular wouldn't have escaped, but in her heart she hoped that he didn't make questions.
She didn't want to justify, especially not in front of Shiho, who continued to look at her bewildered and suspicious.
- Okay... I walk you to the door, then- he offered.
- Oh, you don't need, you have to stay with your other guest!- she again tried to smile and look like the usual Jodie.
- I'll walk you- said Shiho, standing up and reaching her out.
It was clear that she had realized that something was wrong and this wasn't good. How could she tell her that Shuichi had treated her badly knowing that she still didn't sympathize too much for him? She would have risked to the reconciliation that had cost her so much, perhaps too much. She could do it, she could get her away from Shuichi just for the sake of seeing him suffering like she was suffering, but she wasn't that kind of person, being it would make her hating herself. But Shiho wasn't stupid, certainly she had already guessed why her mood had changed. It was the same fear they had shared from the moment they had set foot in that house.
She accepted her friend's offer, greeting again Shinichi with a hand gesture. She doesn't even try to see if Shuichi had returned, at that time she didn't want to see his face.
They walked up to the front door and only when they were proven to be truly alone, Shiho made her the fateful question.
- Has something happened?-
- Don't worry, it's all ok- she continued to lie, thinking it was the right thing to do - Now come back from them, surely tonight's invitation was more addressed to you than me, so don't make them wait-
- It's clear that something is wrong, in these days I learned to understand your looks- she stared at her seriously.
- It's nothing, dont worry-
She wished a friend to let off steam at the time, but that friend couldn't be her. She preferred to destroy herself rather than move her away again from Shuichi. Not for him, who didn't deserve anything, but for her, who needed another person (in addition to the Doctor and Shinichi) to believe in and to protect her. For this reason she had to continue to lie and go away before the watery eyes would betray her.
She opened the door and went out, but Shiho followed her and closed the door so as their voices cannot be heard inside the house. It was clear that she wasn't satisfied with that explanation, when she dug her heels in something it was impossible to make her change idea.
- Has something happened with Akai-san, by chance?- she asked, going straight to the point.
She didn't answer to the question, she restricted herself to look down: a sufficient gesture to confirm that she had hit the mark. She had betrayed herself, as she had done before with Shuichi. She was just a stupid.
- What has he done to you?- she insisted, warming tones.
- He understood that the person who convinced you to come back to him is me- she confessed, no more escape routes - So in the end I couldn't hide from the fact I told you the truth before him, minding in business that doesn't concern me-
- If you hadn't done it at this time I wouldn't certainly come here to eat a slice of cake in his company!- she said firmly.
- I know- she nodded - But I also knew that if he had found out he would have reacted in this way, because even if for a good cause, he doesn't like the others to meddle in his personal matters-
- Really?- she raised an eyebrow, exacerbating the tones - Strange, as he instead loves minding in other people's business, since he has peeked at me for months! So it's not fair that now he treats you so bad just because you wanted to help! Now let's go back inside and I'll give him a piece of my mind!- she grabbed her by the sleeve, dragging her towards the door.
- No, please!- she pleaded, resisting - I don't want your relationship with him spoil again because of me. And then ... I don't want to see him now- she admitted.
The tight around her arm loosened, leaving her free. She heard her friend sighing, not convinced. She respected her decision not to face him, but it was clear that she wouldn't mind nothing to spoil anything to defend her.
Paradoxically she became more attached to her than to the man who had protected her for months.
- Don't worry, tomorrow I will already be over it- she tried to reassure her - But now you have to go in and spend a nice evening with Shu and with our extraordinary young detective, okay?-
- It will be hard to do so, if I think of the way he treated you- she grimaced.
- Try to make an effort, do it for me- she half smiled.
- Alright then- she sighed.
- Thanks, honey. Talk to you soon- she greeted her gently, moving toward the gate and past it, then got into the car.
She noticed looking out of the window that Shiho hadn't yet returned home; on the contrary she had remained stood still watching at her, probably a bit worried about her. She felt reassured to know that she had found someone who cared so much for her, in her life she hadn't had the good fortune to meet many people like that. She was the one who had to grow up quickly to take care of herself.
Fastened her belt, she started the engine and drove off, hoping that her friend came back in and didn't think instead of going home without saying a word, ditching the two men in the house.
When she was far enough away from the mansion to be certain that no one could see her, she turned onto a side street and pulled over, stopping the car. She couldn't drive in those conditions, with trembling hands and the view that became more and more clouded, blurred by the tears she had repressed for too long. She let herself go to a cry that shook her body for a long time, old and new tears mixed together streaking her face. We came into this world crying, naked and alone and that's how she felt at that moment: stripped from those masks she had wanted to wear to protect herself, without a shoulder to cry on. She, who for years had been living against her will in disguise, when she had finally obtained permission to recover her identity she had realized that she couldn't use it, forced by the work she did and the life to always pretend to be someone who she wasn't. An American English teacher on vacation in Japan, an FBI agent on vacation in Japan, a blonde bimbo, a simple colleague very caring, a friend who was happy to be just that, a former girlfriend which was fine being dumped bluntly on a speeding car. Jodie Starling wasn't any of that. It hurt her to be treated like that, it hurt when every time she tried to help him, he never missed an opportunity to point out that she had done something wrong. Yes, because in Shuichi Akai's eyes, Jodie always did something wrong. An incompetent, a poor incapable. She might be at the end of the games, but she certainly wasn't a meddler or the kind of person who did something just to get something in return. What hurt even more, though, was the real reason why he had reacted that way. She knew that if Shuichi got upset so much wasn't because she had minded his own business, but because he didn't want anyone else to bring up the topic Akemi. That was his argument, his memory still vivid, no one could have a say about what she had meant and meant for him. Unlike her, which was probably never meant nothing and that was canceled with the same speed with which you clear an unsuccessful drawing on a white sheet. That evening she had had the confirmation that there was no hope for her, it would have been only a futile effort to confess what she felt as Shiho had recommended her. She would have always been only the colleague that never do what's right.
She stood there crying in that dark street, lit only by a lamppost quite far from her car, until she no longer had tears to shed nor the strength to find more. Exhausted, she erased the last traces left on her face and put the car in motion, headed for her apartment.