Chapter Eleven: Lessons in Control
"Break."
The Goblin King's voice startled her out of her concentration. She'd been so focused on filing his correspondence that she hadn't realized the passage of time. She lifted her head and looked to the window and found the sun high in the sky. Biting her lower lip, she glanced towards the low table on the casual side of the office and found a tea tray sitting there. With a jolt, she realized that he always got tea around midday, which meant she'd been working for four hours, already.
She released her breath slowly, and moved towards the chair she usually took. Her nerves, as usual, scraped at her when she was near the king. It wasn't something he'd commented on since she first arrived, but she knew he was still aware of it. The longer she stayed here, the more frightened she became of what he would do when he finally found out who she really was.
Still, now she was less afraid that he'd hurt her like - no, she couldn't let herself think about that. Now, she was scared that when he found out he'd be angry that she lied to him, or worse, he'd look at her in pity or disgust.
Much like the first time, he poured the tea for her and she found herself transfixed by his hands. She found that she stared at them quite often. He was graceful - she'd always known that - with not a single movement he made seeming wasted. The only time he seemed to relax around her, however, was when he'd take a cigarette by his open window late every afternoon.
"You seem to be acclimating to the castle rather well."
His voice was quiet when he spoke, but she hadn't expected it and it made her jump q bit. Most of the time, they took their breaks in silence and she appreciated that. She wasn't certain she knew the sort of smalltalk that would keep a king entertained. It took her a moment before an answer to the statement formed.
"Well enough, your majesty."
He glanced at her from under his brows, and she saw a bit of a smile curve his lips. She was beginning to wonder when the smile had started to seem less sinister to her.
"Good. That is a relief. I have been hoping that might be the case."
She wasn't certain what to say to that, drawing her tea closer to her. Glancing down into it, she blinked, finding he'd already dressed it for her. She cautiously took a cookie and sat back, nibbling it for a moment while she thought of something to say.
"Everyone here has been very kind. I'm not always sure how to behave, however."
Particularly around him, because she found him so confusing. Everything she'd seen since she'd come here seemed at odds with her memories of him.
He nodded in acceptance and she noted that he didn't seem keen on speaking, at least for now. He leaned back into his chair, relaxing with his own tea, sipping it in silence, his eyes turned towards the open window.
She retreated for the moment, not certain, again, what to say in his presence. Being with him like this still felt awkward and confusing, but every time she thought she knew what she should say she'd look at him and forget her words. She wasn't certain why.
"What did you do before you came here?"
She blinked, surprised by that question. Lifting her eyes, she found him still looking out the window, an odd, wistful expression on his face. She chewed how to answer that over for a moment, then took a steadying breath. "I worked in a secretarial office, doing administrative duties. Not unlike what I do when I'm working with you. Most everything else I know how to do is because of my personal life. My parents both worked, so I had to learn how to take care of myself and my -"
She cut words short, realizing she'd almost mentioned her brother. Would that be weird? Surely people in the Underground also have siblings. As long as she didn't give his name, that should be okay, right?
An ache burned in her chest, nostalgia and longing twisted up until it hurt, and an unexpected and unwanted tear fell from her eye and wound down her cheek. She gave a quiet gasp, startled by the sudden surge of emotions that thinking of her brother brought on.
Damn, she missed her brother. She missed him so badly. She didn't even dare to think of his name, because she was in the Underground and similarly to how she'd started to think of herself as Goblinskin, she tried to not think of everything she missed from home.
"Goblinskin?" She blinked hard and looked back at the King, trying to steady herself. He looked alarmed, and all of his focus was on her.
"I'm sorry. I just remembered I was supposed to pick my brother up from school the day of the accident." She closed her eyes hard, trying to stem the sudden surge of emotions, mentally shaking herself. She started to lift a hand to brush away her tears, but before she could, soft leather swiped the tears from her face when they passed under the edge of her mask. A quiet gasp escaped her and her eyes snapped open. She found Jareth leaning across the table, looking at her with a serious expression. His eyes showed regret in them.
When had she started being able to see things like that?
"You needn't apologize for that, Goblinskin. It's expected that you'd feel homesick." He lowered his hand as if he hadn't done anything at all, leaned back, and went back to looking out the window. She saw a furrow between his brow, as if he was thinking about something very hard.
She was still startled from the brief contact when he'd touched her. She wanted to snap at him that he'd promised he wouldn't do that, but it wasn't the first time he had, since then. It seemed silly to complain about it, now. Whenever it happened, it was never for long, and he never drew attention to it. It also wasn't something he did often. When she'd had the panic attack when he'd found her, and second he'd seen, when she was in the garden - she blinked, remembering one hand on her shoulder and the other over her face, as if keeping her mask in place.
Startled by that revelation, she looked at him in confusion and took a steadying breath.
"Would you like to see him again?"
The question took her off guard and her eyes jerked to his face, finding him still casually looking out the window. "What?"
He looked at her again, a patient sort of look in his eyes. With a wave of his hand, a crystal formed on his fingertips.
Seeing that made her shiver a bit, but he simply set it on the table between them. When he looked back at her, his face was very serious. "I can't promise it won't make the homesickness worse. However, if you say the name of whoever you wish to see to the crystal, you will see them on the surface. It will at least allow you to see that they are well."
She set her tea aside, and her hands curled over the crystal. She could understand the gift he was offering her and her heart twisted in an agonizing way. Biting her lip hard, she slowly shook her head, and withdrew her hands without the crystal. "I...thank you. But no. I think you're right. It will only make the homesickness worse, rather than ease any pain. Being able to see my family, but not able to speak to them? Not reassure them or tell them that I'm okay?" She shook her head again. "No. That would be too much to bear. But thank you, for the offer."
He looked at her for a long moment, and then he gave a resigned sort of smile and nodded his head in understanding. Still, she thought she saw sadness in his eyes. "You understand why I can't just send you home, don't you?"
"Because he knows where I am, there." She gave a smile that she knew would look bitter. "Because if he finds me again, there might not be any way to get me out of there, especially since I don't have any power."
Jareth leaned forward, taking the crystal back and considering the surface of it for a long moment without saying anything at all. "You have more power than you realize, Goblinskin. Though I don't think it's power in the way he would understand it."
He lifted the crystal to his lips and blew. It floated gently out the window, like it had become nothing more than a bubble. She watched it bob on the air, until she couldn't see it any longer. Then, his words caught up with her and her eyes snapped back towards him.
"Magic is a funny thing. Most of the time, when it starts to show itself it isn't something we'd notice. A stubborn lock turns when you want it to turn. A corridor lighting itself because it's hard for you to see. Weather holding out until you make it to your destination."
Curious and confused, she watched as he turned to look back at her. "Luck, you mean?"
"Luck is, at its heart, a form of magic, too. But no, that's not what I was referring to. Sometimes, people who are mortal have magic that allows them to bend the world around them just a little bit. In the above, it's barely noticed - or written off as luck. Like I said, it's small things like a key turning in a stubborn lock - but only when you are the one turning. However, you've come to the Underground, now. That means whatever magic you already had is starting to grow exponentially. You're starting to bend the world much more than a little bit."
Little things. Like the front door that never seemed to want to lock. Like her old car starting on cold mornings. Like stop lights changing green for her when she was running late.
"I don't understand?"
"One, the Labyrinth seems to be unusually receptive to your influence. I say unusually, because the only other person it's ever been so reactive to is me, and I'm its King. Second, when you've spent time in the gardens with Hoggle, the weeds start to grow slower, but the flowers flourish. You don't get lost in the castle, but the one time you did, you were trying to find my office when you were terrified of me. Fenris said the corridor that should have brought you here took you both somewhere else entirely." He sipped his tea, and snagged a cookie, biting into it.
She shook her head, not certain she believed him, but blown away by the possibility. "But I didn't do anything-?"
"Not consciously, no." He set the remains of the cookie on his saucer. "I've been trying to give you time before having this conversation with you. I'd hoped that you wouldn't be so afraid of me before we started. Since you've acclimated to the castle, however, it's time to start helping you get a handle on this power that seems to be growing in you. Because if it's left uncontrolled, during a time of stress, you could accidentally cause irreparable harm to the world."
To the world. He said that so easily. Like she had some genuine, real, world changing power that was cause for fear or alarm. She shook her head, and thought about getting to her feet and quitting the office, but as she gripped the arms of the chair he leaned towards her, pinning her with his clear blue eyes.
"You don't have to believe me, Goblinskin. But you need to understand that from now on, our working days together are going to be half-days, and after the work is done, you're going to be taking lessons with me until you can control this power."
She jumped to her feet, starting to pace the room, a restless response she couldn't control. Shaking her head, she forced the words out of her. "I don't have any power."
He stood up as well, looking at her with that clear, understanding gaze. He extended his hand towards her and she shook her head, frightened.
"I can't have power, because that would mean that he was right, that -" That the story might be right and that was impossible. But he was saying that being in the Underground is what was making this power grw, and didn't that happen to people and things who spent too much time in the faerie lands? "I can't, please."
He stepped towards her, taking one of her hands and holding it. His expression was more honest and calm than she'd ever seen. "Whether or not you think you can, you do. And part of my promise of protection means I have to make sure you can control this power without it destroying you or my kingdom or the Underground as a whole. I'm asking for you to put this much faith in me. Let me teach you how to use your power so it doesn't end up causing harm to you, me, or my kingdom. Alright?"
Her breath left her in a shaking sigh and she remembered other times. The promotion she'd unexpectedly gotten at work, when she'd wanted to save for a new car. The way her old car wouldn't start for anyone else. Then, she remembered the door that had appeared in her room in the Shadow Kingdom when she'd had her panic attack before Fenris got her out. She remembered the way the Labyrinth never let her get lost and how it had closed the door when she'd been afraid to go to the castle. The way it let her remove her doorway, something she now remembered had confused Jareth, initially.
After several nerve-wrecking moments, she lifted her trembling hand and set it in his, lifting her frightened eyes to look up at his face. She felt his hand close around hers, but not tightly trapping it. It was safety and security he was offering, now, something he'd been offering since she arrived. Support that she'd never suspected she'd get from him. Her lower lip trembled hard for a moment because she knew that if he knew who she was, he'd never give this.
His eyes were still calm and serious as they pinned hers. Then, they flicked down to her hand in his and a small smile curved his lips. She wondered why she didn't find his smile so sinister anymore.
"Thank you."
. .oOo.
Their first several lessons went about as well as he expected they would. She'd always allowed her power to flow naturally through her emotions. Now she was having to reign those emotions in and learn to command the power without their aid. As a result, things exploded in their faces several times. The first time, they'd been trying something simple - conjuring a crystal. She'd panicked and accidentally teleported herself out of his office and into her very locked room.
It took an hour of knocking on the door before she'd calmed down enough to come out and try again.
Fenris and Olivia kept out of it, even though they knew of her lessons, and helpfully reminded him that he could just teleport into her room and remove her from it. He didn't bother going into all the reasons he knew he couldn't do that - especially since he suspected she was starting to actually trust him a little.
After those first few lessons, she'd tried to give up. He'd snarled and called her a quitter and sent her away from his office immediately. She hadn't been back in more than a week and he was starting to regret losing his temper with her. Especially since that was the only real time he got with her.
On her day off, the following week, he found her in the library surrounded by piles of books that she was pouring over and when she noticed his presence she gave him a sour look. Rather than commenting on her studying, he found a few books that he'd been looking for to help her, and went to stretch out on the couch in the room and read as well. He wasn't willing to let her run him out of his own library.
The silence in the room was stifling, but he was glad that she was finding her spine again, at least.
Around midday, he called for tea and paused in his own reading. He sat up, and one of the books she had in front of her caught his attention. He blinked in surprise and reached out to take the book. He jumped in surprise when the pen she smacked his hand away with another book. He focused on the cover of that one and felt a smile curve his lips for the first time since she'd stormed out of his office.
"I thought you said you'd 'given up'." He kept his tone leaning towards mocking. Her gaze met his, eyes narrowed on him. He could almost see her temper flare.
"No one gets to call me a quitter. Prick."
He lifted his brows in surprise at the word, but a curious sensation of delight flooded him. He wondered for the first time if he wasn't slightly masochistic in nature.
They were still looking at each other when the tea service was brought in and he noticed the goblin looking at Goblinskin with a near worshipping look on her face. "Lira, that will be all."
The goblin scooted out of the room like he'd set her on fire, but glanced back and giggled at them from the door.
Once she was gone, he noticed there were two cups on the tray and huffed in amusement, pouring tea for himself and the girl, dressing hers first, and sliding that cup towards her. He finished dressing his own tea before he looked at her. When he did, he felt a surge of distress, because he found she'd gone paler than fresh milk, her freckles standing out in stark contrast. He knew that what she'd said - what she'd called him - had caught up with her. He sat back with his own tea, looking at her over the cup for a long moment as he took a sip, considering what to do with that.
"It's good to see your spine showing. I'd been starting to worry it was completely broken."
She straightened, her expression changing to one of surprise. "What?"
"You called me a prick and smacked my hand with a book." He took another sip of his tea and using it to hide his lips twisting into a smirk, knowing his eyes were sparkling with mischief. "It only took what? Three months?"
She stopped, realizing what he'd said and she looked down at her hands. He wasn't certain what was going on in her head until she spoke. "I wonder if time here passes like it does, there…"
"Hard to tell, sometimes. I wish I could promise that you'd wake up the day after the accident when I'm finally able to return you home. But my powers have limited reach when it comes to reordering time. More than a few hours can cause serious problems. More than thirteen isn't safe." That regret was sincere. While she was here, she was missing her life, there. Missing her brother's milestones. He knew that must tear her up, inside.
She was quiet for a long moment, then she looked at him. "You're not angry with me for calling you that? For hitting you?"
The question startled a laugh out of him and he leaned back on the couch, looking at her from across the stacks of books between them. As he looked at her, she quickly returned her gaze to her hands, staring at them as if they were fascinating to her, curved around the teacup as they were.
"Of course I'm not angry! At least if you're hissing and spitting at me a little, I know you aren't petrified of me. Why do you think I don't punish Hoggle every time he talks back to me?"
"I'm shocked you actually know his name," she said, frowning at him a bit.
"Surprise, he teased, hiding another smirk behind his cup. She was still looking at him and he forced himself to not meet her gaze, even though each time he did, it thrilled him. Especially now, when he was seeing flashes of her under the fear and trauma. He tried to ignore the urge and her scrutiny. "There are few inhabitants of the Labyrinth that I don't know the name of that arent recent arrivals." She had the grace to glance from him at that. "I even have a few of their true names, and while that gives me power over them, I seldom find the need to use that sort of coercion. It's generally a sign of trust to share such a thing with others. Among the courts, we never offer our true name - there's too much risk involved if we give another that much power over us."
"What's the difference between any other name and a true name?" She asked after considering that for a long moment.
"A true name is a name that your soul resonates with. Sometimes, it's the same name your parents give you, but usually it's the one that we choose for ourselves. I know they use codes in the Shadow Kingdom. That's why Fenris went as Little Wolf - and since I've heard you calling him by Fenris, I'll go ahead and tell you that he afforded you a huge amount of trust by giving you that name. It's not his birth name, it's the name the Goblins gave to him when he came here. While it means "Little Wolf" in an old form of elvish, knowing the meaning isn't the same as knowing the name and that isn't the same as being given it voluntarily by another person. Just knowing a name doesn't give anyone power over you. Olivia offered hers because she knew Fenris gave his to you - and understood the trust that he'd given you, a trust you haven't broken. That's reason enough for her to trust you to not use that power against her. And since you've heard them say my name, you should understand that this doesn't give you special power over me, because I never offered it to you."
She sagged back into her chair, thinking for a long moment. He could almost see the cogs moving in her head. "Is that why you asked what you should call me instead of asking for my name?"
"Quick study," he acknowledged, flashing her a smile.
"Not that quick," she said and he watched her sag in on herself. "The magic lessons have been a disaster."
"Goblinskin," he said, setting his tea aside and leaning towards her, meeting her gaze for a long moment. Then, he picked up the book he had been reading. A book on magic theory that he was half-way through in hopes that it would lead him to some breakthrough on how to better help her get a handle on her powers. "Magic isn't a quick lesson and you're done. It's a lifetime of study if you wish to do more than create pretty crystals and glamorous and illusions."
She looked at the book he was holding and her brows lifted in surprise, then her eyes met his, again. The direct eye contact always gave him a feeling like an electric jolt from his toes to the top of his head and left him feeling electrified. He couldn't drag his eyes from hers any more than he'd been able to stop looking at her when he'd first given her use of the library. It startled him, for a moment, to realize that she wasn't just pretty. Even with half of her face hidden behind a mask, she was beautiful.
Shit. He didn't need to be thinking about that, right now.
He dragged his eyes from hers, and flipped the book open to the page he was on. When he found the notes he'd marked for her, he set the book on the table and turned it towards her. "Though I admit that as a teacher, I probably have much to learn. Patience, in particular."
"I have my own books to study," she objected, shaking her head. "I'm not trying to intrude on yours -"
"Stars, woman, just read the passage. These books are mine and I've read all of them at least once. This is a refresher for me. Largely to see if I can find any other way to help you get control of your powers.
Her eyes met his and there, again, was that jolt. Still, he didn't pull his eyes from hers, holding the book out to her. He was challenging her, this time, and he knew it. He hoped that the challenge he was issuing would be met, rather than turned away from. Regardless, it would help him gauge how she was healing. It took time, Fenris and Olivia kept telling him, but if she was already calling him a prick, it made him hope that she would keep pushing back against him.
She reached a trembling hand forward and took the book from his hand. She kept looking him in the eyes for a long moment, before confusion filtered into her gaze. He wished he could have known what was going on in her head, right then. After a moment, she dropped her gaze, and released, he wished she'd look at him again before he pushed that thought away. She read the passage he'd indicated, and her eyes widened. He watched her skim the passage several times before she lifted her eyes and looked at him, again. This time, her expression had changed and what he saw there thrilled him.
"I want to try this, next time."
He restrained the urge to smile, seeing how serious she was right then. He didn't want her to think he was laughing at her. "Very well," he said, nodding in agreement. "Next time."
. .oOo.
Fenris had taken note of how much time Sarah and Jareth were spending together before anyone else. It helped that his work put him in generally closer contact with his king than many others, including Olivia when he was actually at the castle. Today, he'd been invited to tea after giving his king his report, and suspected that Jareth was turning over things in his head. Meaning the king had something he wanted to talk about, but wasn't certain how to get there. Fenris looked over his tea cup, feeling his lips curved in a knowing sort of smile that would make his king bristle, so he did his best to hide it.
"Did something particularly good happen outside of your report of troop movements near my kingdom, Fenris?" Jareth asked, eyeing him. Fenris could feel his eyes pinning him and lifted his gaze towards his friend.
"Maybe you should tell me, Jareth. I've noticed you're spending a lot of time with our lovely refugee."
Jareth seemed to startle a bit, as if he hadn't expected that turn of conversation. Then, his eyes turned into the creamy depths of his own cup.
"Isn't that to be expected? She works with me once a week, after all."
Fenris snorted, downing the rest of his tea and deciding to tree his prey, looking at Jareth as he set the cup aside. A smirk curved his lips and he leaned his elbows onto his knees. "I'm not a damn idiot, Jareth. I'm aware you two are working together, and that she's relaxing around you. I was more talking about you two huddling over books in the library two or three evenings a week, bickering with each other like old friends."
Or lovers.
Jareth blinked as if that confused him and shook his head. "Don't misunderstand. I'm helping her learn to control her powers. That's it. As a result, we're doing some studying together. That's all it is. It's not like she can tolerate being around me for more than work, anyways."
"So, you admit that you wish she would spend more time around you."
This time, Fenris noticed that the tips of his King's ears were turning pink. In the man's defense, whatever was going on in his head didn't show on his face at al. Still, the tell-tale pinkness to them told Fenris more than he'd suspected. He lifted a brow, fighting the urge to grin at his monarch.
Was he getting a crush on Goblinskin?
"Don't start chasing fantasies like that, Fenris. I'm well aware of who and what I am, as well as who and what she is. Those sorts of dreams have no place in my life." Jareth set down his own tea, looking towards the open window, a weary expression on his face.
For now, Fenris allowed him to push that thought away. He heaved a sigh, leaning back in his chair. "I heard you nixed my idea regarding the engagement and announced a ball to choose a bride from one of the Courts."
"It seemed like a logical choice. This way, I force the other courts into handling this, rather than letting them drop the whole of the problem in my lap. Besides, pretending that I'd chosen a girl from the Shadow Court when I've never met one would lead to questions. This way, at least, it pleases them that I appear to be at least looking for a queen from one of their courts. Regardless of how untrue that actually is."
"Fair enough," he said, nodding. "How are you going to explain Marcas's presence to her?"
Jareth went silent for a long moment. "I hadn't quite figured that out, yet. She'll retreat, again, when I do. But I can't just wait until the damn party. I swear, sometimes, I see the spine I remember from when -" He stopped himself and Fenris knew why. Jareth had gone through pains to pretend he didn't know who Goblinskin really was. He was walking a razor wire, in large part to protect the girl.
What did surprise him, however, was the yearning behind his eyes.
"I'm not certain it helps, but she is getting better." Fenris didn't think Jareth was ready to hear that the contact with him - the bickering with one another over books - was probably part of why. Even though he and Olivia could help her accept what had been done to her, and that she could move past it, this was different. Jareth was someone from her past who she had fought before, could safely pit herself against and win - and she knew she would come out of it unscathed.
Once again, he decided that bringing her here was the right choice.
"She told me how she was brought here by him. Not what happened since then, in the Shadow Court, but even that much from her is a victory," Jareth said, his voice quiet and pensive. He remained silent for a moment, and then a quiet huff escaped him and his lips twisted into something between a grimace and a grin. "She called me a prick."
Fenris felt a strange tickle in his throat and tried to swallow it back down. Damn thing felt like a laugh. He tightened his lips to keep from grinning and shrugged. "In her defense, Jareth, you are a prick."
The king's lips finally settled into a grin and Fenris felt his own answer, curving into one that matched before Jareth snorted. That set them both off and they both tilted forward laughing. It felt good to laugh so openly. Before coming here, he'd never been able to do that. Most people who immigrated to this court and kingdom were of similar situations.
It took a moment before they regained control, and Jareth spoke again. "Prick or not, I gave her the push she needed to not give up on learning how to control these powers before she did something catastrophic out of instinct, so I'll call that a win."
A thought struck Fenris as he was swallowing his own laughter and he leaned back, covering his mouth and considered his king. His expression was still amused, but there was resignation and sadness in the smile, in the hint of amusement in his eyes. The blush he'd seen on the man's ears had indicated attraction. But this was different. Deeper.
It took effort to school his expression, because he dare not discuss what had occurred to him with his king, yet. He didn't think the other man was ready to hear his suspicion. After a long moment, he shook himself and got to his feet, giving his king a short bow. "Thank you for the tea. I'd stay longer, but I still need to make sure my lover eats something."
And I need to discuss these thoughts with someone who wouldn't mentally implode over them, he thought, careful to keep that thought from showing on his face.
He must have done well enough, because Jareth gave him a nod and a smile. "Then I'll make certain you both have a quiet lunch and I'll see the two of you at dinner?"
"Olivia will be delighted," he answered, feeling his lips pull into a smile as he nodded his agreement. He gave another short bow before leaving the office and heading straight to his lover's workroom.
He found her cradling an obviously cold cup of tea between her hands and vacantly staring at a simmering potion as she leaned against the shelf nearest her worktable. He gave a quiet knock on the door to draw her attention, and she looked up, her gaze sharp, as if she expected a patient. When she saw him, her expression softened and he gave her a grin.
He could see from here that she hadn't touched the lunch that had been brought to her, yet.
"Here to make me eat?" She asked, her tone amused and tired. He could see dark smudges around her eyes, from nights where she didn't sleep enough because she was still being troubled by her own dreams.
"I thought we might have lunch together, yes," he teased, and walked towards her, cupping her soft cheek. She leaned into the contact and smiled at him. "And Jareth invited both of us to dinner, so you'll have to finish with work earlier than you'd like, tonight."
She sighed, but a grudging smile curved her lips. She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tight and rested her head against his chest. When she pulled back from the hug, he guided her towards the chairs they usually ate at. He was thinking over how to discuss what he suspected about his king's feelings for the girl, but he wasn't certain how she'd take it.
"You're deep in thought, love."
Her voice drew him from his thoughts and he glanced towards her as she took several small sandwiches on a plate, and poured some fresh tea over the lukewarm cup she'd been drinking. He grinned a bit, brushing his fingers over the auburn hair that disobediently was trying to escape her braid. "I just came back from a conference with our king."
She glanced at him, and her lips curved into the smirk that had first pulled at his interest. "I realize, since you come bearing an invitation to dinner."
He nodded, and played with those loose strands, considering them as he turned over his thoughts. She didn't rush him, which he'd always appreciated. Instead, she fidgeted with their tea and set a few sandwiches in front of him, too, then started dressing her own tea.
"Have you ever seen Jareth blush?"
The cube of sugar she'd been adding to her cup plopped in, sloshing tea over the side and he found her staring at him through wide eyes. That was answer enough.
"Me, either, before today," he said and took over setting up the tea, since he'd had more time to consider the implications of that blush and the look he'd seen in his King's eyes. "I did, today. The tips of his ears turn red. It's the only sign of it."
"And what did you say that caused such a reaction from him?" She asked, her tone bewildered Like him, she'd never really seen the king lose his head over anyone.
This was the trickier part. He glanced at her, setting the tea in front of her and straightened, lacing his hand through hers, brushing his fingers over the back of hers. "He mentioned that he knew Goblinskin could only tolerate being around him for work. I half-teased that he wished she wanted to spend time around him outside of work."
She'd almost bobbed her cup, and sloshed the tea down the side. She took her hands from it, quickly mopping up the mess with the corner of the work-apron she wore. Then, she looked up at him, her eyes still wide with her surprise.
"You're serious. Do you think -"
"That he is, for the first time in his life, developing a genuine romantic attraction? I'd almost guarantee it. I also know he's one hundred percent certain that such ideas have no place in his life. I let it slide, for now, because he's not ready to consider it and she's not ready to entertain the idea, either."
Thankfully.
Olivia sat back, her arms crossing under her chest as she mulled this over for a moment. Her lips pulled into something close to a frown and she bit her thumbnail in thought as she turned the idea over her head. "Perhaps that's for the best, that neither is ready, yet. I would hate to see either of their hearts end up broken. And if he pushed her too hard or fast, that's exactly what would happen. He'd frighten her and she'd run. I know she had mentioned having relationships with men in the Above, but Jareth -"
"Isn't mortal boy, is a king, and a fae besides, and has a hell of a lot more intensity, even when he's toning it down? I'm quite aware." He pulled her against his side for the comfort of her body against his and ignored the food and tea for the moment. "She called him a prick, you know?"
Olivia looked up at him in silent shock for a moment, and then her head tilted back and the soft warmth of her laugh washed over him. He felt a smile of his own turn up his lips and he decided that for now, they could push these thoughts away, deciding to enjoy lunch with his lady, today.
They could worry about everything else, later.
. .oOo.
At first, Sarah didn't know for certain if she was dreaming or if what she was experiencing was real. That had been happening a lot lately.
It felt like she was riding in her car, the memory of the car accident vague. She could remember that it had happened, had been terrible, but at the same time, it felt like it had been years ago rather than a few months. As she considered this, she remembered that she'd woken up that morning in her bed and she was on her way to work.
That was fine. She did that every morning, didn't she? Except the morning that she took Toby for his first day of Kindergarten - the day of the accident. How long ago had that been?
She couldn't remember. Part of her thought months, but at the same time, her mind told her years.
As she arrived at work, she was handed a stack of paperwork to do, and the top page had a perplexingly familiar scrawl on it. As she stared at it, her brain told her the handwriting was Jareth's. But that wasn't possible. The Goblin King wasn't real. Was he? No, he couldn't be. That was all just a dream. The first trip to the Underground and then again, the second, more violent trip. Dreams, that was all they were.
She found her desk and sat at it, starting to sort through the pile of paperwork, prioritizing the important parts.
"Williams, get in here!"
She looked up and saw her boss, leaning out the door to his office. Beyond him, she saw a man with an unsettlingly familiar face. Deja vu flooded her senses as she got to her feet, heading into his office. Once inside, he sat behind his desk and she looked towards the man sitting in one of the chairs in front of it.
"Have a seat, Williams."
She didn't want to have a seat next to that man. Something about him frightened her, made her skin crawl, and reminded her of the nightmares of the Underground.
"Introduce yourself, Williams."
She looked at the man and found him looking at her with a grin that was sinister and terrifying. Fear choked her and she looked at her boss. "What is this about, sir? Have I done something wrong?"
"I told you to introduce yourself, Williams, now do it."
"Just knowing doesn't give anyone power over you."
She looked back at the man who now looked furious. Recognition flooded her, along with memories, followed by nausea swelling inside of her. She backed towards the door, shaking her head. "No."
"Girl, you will give me your name, and you will do it, NOW!" The man stalked towards her - Marcas, her mind reminded her - and the office changed around them. The ever-twilight of the Shadow Court lighted the now stone room and she spun, finding herself back in her bedroom there. The door was gone, and she was trapped in the same room as Marcas, again.
No, she mentally struggled, fighting against what was happening. I need a door. I need out, let me out!
She didn't say the words, but the door to the room cracked and she threw it open, running down the halls. She could hear the sounds of her accident swelling in her ears, making her run faster. As she rounded a corner, Marcas's hand caught her by the throat, and she was slammed against the wall so hard it knocked the wind from her, and she felt her head crack against the stone.
"You do have powers, don't you, Champion…"
"No," she wheezed, but she was more denying what was happening than what he'd said. Tears poured down her face and she clawed at his hand. His other hand jerked the skirts of her dress up and she felt him force himself between her thighs and a panicked scream escaped her. "NOT AGAIN! NO!"
Suddenly, she felt two sets of hands on her. One, Marcas's, holding her against the wall as he forced her thighs open so he could do...that again. The other hands, however, were gentler. One seemed to be holding her mask secured, and the other was against her back and she could feel hard warmth against her chest. Still, she wasn't certain which was the dream, so she struggled against both.
Then, a gentle voice met her ears and spoke a name Marcas couldn't have known.
"Goblinskin."
She snapped out of the hallucination or dream or whatever it was and found herself clinging to the Goblin King, standing in a hallway in the Castle Beyond the Goblin City. She jolted, realizing her hands were curled, like claws, into the soft linen of his shirt and one of his arms was around her. That warmth at her chest was his against hers. Panic rushed through her, but she couldn't seem to release him or push him away.
"G-Goblin...King?" She asked, hating the fear and weakness in her voice.
"Are you yourself, again?" His response was close to her ear, still low and gentle.
What did that mean? "I...think so?"
His arms eased from around her and as the hand holding her mask released, she felt it slip a little bit. Her hands shot to it, holding it in place and she tightened the cords which held it on. He stepped back, but was still within arms reach. It occurred to her that he stayed close in case her legs gave out.
"Wh-what time is it?" She managed, looking away from him, trying to get her emotions under control before she did something stupid with them.
"Closing in on four in the morning. I was getting up for work and found you running the halls in your sleep. You seemed to be in a panic, and I was concerned you'd end up hurt."
She swallowed hard, remembering the dream and as she realized what had happened in the dream, her legs abruptly turned to jelly and she started to sink to the floor. Before she could, his arm caught her around the waist again and she found herself hitched up against his chest. That queer feeling she'd been experiencing more and more often twisted in her chest and she shifted. Still, the end of the dream was too fresh for her to be okay with close contact, so she squirmed to put space between them. Every time she tried to put her weight on her own legs, they'd start to give out, again and she cursed them for betraying her.
He adjusted his grip and then scooped her off the floor, cradling against his chest and her mind ground to a halt. One of his arms was wrapped around her shoulder, the other under her knees. Carrying her like a princess. Shock stilled her movements and silenced her until she was finally set in a rough, wooden kitchen chair. She looked around and realized she'd mentally wandered off, again, and found them in the kitchen with Jareth crouched in front of her chair. He looked into her eyes for a long moment, his gaze intense, and then he stood and turned towards the cook who was looking at both of them like they'd grown second heads.
"Minifred," he said, addressing the cook. "Hot chocolate for Goblinskin, now."
The cook grumbled a bit, but started warming the milk for the drink and Jareth pulled out a chair until he sat close to her, dropping himself into it.
She stared at him, quaking from her fear and waiting for him to start asking her about the dream or why she was moving about while she was asleep. As if she knew why she was sleepwalking.
"Tonight, you're using one of the sleeping potions. I know you don't want to be reliant on them, but I don't like how many of these nightmares you seem to be having. You need a proper night of rest." His voice was uncompromising as he spoke.
She opened her mouth to object, but he lifted his hand in a request for silence.
"I'm not telling you to use them every night. However, this time you were up and walking around in your sleep. The Escher room isn't a sealed area, and while I trust the Labyrinth to keep its occupants safe, there's a risk of you wandering in and breaking your neck."
She lowered her head and after a moment nodded in agreement. They sat in complete silence for a long few moments, the crackle of the fire the only sound in the room. Her mind wandered as she stared at nothing until the hot cocoa was set in front of her and she pulled it close, warming her hands with the ceramic.
The king's voice, when he next spoke, was as gentle as when he'd pulled her from her nightmare. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She looked at him in surprise and wondered if she should, if she could discuss something like this with him. She opened her mouth to do that, when the memory of Marcas pressed between her thighs overwhelmed her and tears filled her eyes and started falling down her face. Her panic was silencing her, once again. This time, however, it was because she didn't want to see pity or disgust on his face when he looked at her. She stared through him for a long moment, remembering the time it actually happened, cruel fists beating her, breaking bones, bruising skin, before he forced himself on her and -
She felt soft leather on her face, again, and jerked back to the present, again. Jareth's eyes were on her face, and instead of pity, she saw understanding and acceptance. As if he saw the nightmares in her eyes and didn't want to push them to the surface. Then, there was a flash of regret before he lowered his hand and his face. He pushed a hand through his hair and she heard a ragged breath leave him before he looked at her again. There was no smile on his face, just grim resignation.
"You don't have to tell me, Goblinskin. Even I can see when pain is too great to share with another."
"I don't want pity," she said, forcing the words out.
"I don't feel pity. I feel concern, understanding, and acceptance. The only person I ever have the energy to pity is myself," he said and she saw a humorless smile on his lips. She blinked, confusion filling her. He lifted his hand again, this time seeming to gauge her reaction before he brushed some of her hair over her ear. His fingers slid along her jaw to her chin, lifting her face so he was looking into her eyes again. The touch was so gentle it almost tickled her skin. "Take your time. No one is demanding that you tell them anything. Finish your cocoa and then I want you to go rest. You've been working too hard, lately."
"But -"
"If you're going to argue and are determined to work, it's going to be desk work. I'm not sending you to Olivia or Hoggle to do physical labor after you almost collapsed in the hall. They certainly wouldn't allow you to if they knew about it." He gave her a smile that had a bit of a sinister edge to it, but the amusement in his eyes softened that a little. "Should I tell them?"
"NO!"
"I thought not. So you get to pick. Rest in bed, or desk work with me," he taunted and she looked at him for a long moment, feeling that strange twisting sensation in her chest, again.
"Desk work."
He smiled and nodded in agreement, and now his smile didn't seem sinister at all. More resigned, if anything. He didn't say anything else, as he got to his feet and headed towards the kitchen entry. "Finish your drink and go get cleaned up, then. You have an hour before I come to find you, and if you're with Olivia or Hoggle, I'll just go ahead and make it a rest day."
"Your majesty?" She said, before he disappeared into the dark hallway. He turned and looked at her, lifting a brow, and she didn't have any idea what he was thinking, right then. "Thank you."
His lips twisted, somewhere between a smile and a grimace, the look in his eyes complicated enough that she couldn't understand it. Still, he nodded before he turned to go. Once the door was closed between them, she settled in and finished her cocoa, letting her mind drift away from her nightmare. When she finally stood, she found she didn't feel as wobbly as before.
It was strange to her. She felt better for the comfort she received here - comfort without expectations. It wasn't something she'd gotten often before. Back home, everyone expected some sort of answer after whatever drama unfolded around her. They couldn't ever let her tell them in her own time. It was as if she owed them the reason as payment for their support. After this, when she returned home, she wasn't certain how she was going to acclimate to being there, again. Especially if she carried this trauma with her, rather than it fading to nothing more than a dream like the first time had.
She walked back to her room and went into the side bath, staring at the deep tub for a long moment. She simultaneously didn't want to see or touch her own body to bathe and also wanted to scrub her skin until it bled to try to forget the feeling of Marcas's hands hurting her. She'd learned from experience that neither of those helped.
Instead of taking a deep soak, she got a washcloth and cleaned herself up how she could, trying to ignore the way her hands were trembling in fear, again. Sometimes, when she concentrated on it, the tremors slowed to where they weren't noticeable. It was always just temporary, and she knew that she'd always find them trembling again, later. Still, being able to force them to stop on occasion helped her think that maybe she wasn't broken.
She took a deep breath, looking into the mirror as she slowly removed the mask to clean her face, before replacing it. As she did, she remembered coming out of the dream and finding Jareth's hand holding the mask in place, again.
She stared at herself in the mirror, trying to not think about that. After getting control of her breaths, again, she started hurrying to get dressed. A glance at the clock she'd been given, she found it was slightly after five and she dashed out of her bedroom, pausing to lock it behind her, trying to push away the burning question of why.
She remembered, again, that it wasn't the first time he'd done that. She remembered her panic attack in the garden and remembered coming out of it with his hand on her shoulder and the other holding her mask in place. Hoggle had confirmed for her, when they were in the privacy of her room, that Jareth had made sure she didn't knock her mask from her face. Like he was trying to help protect her identity, too.
Why would he need to do that?
She entered his office without knocking and realized a moment later, when his sharp gaze pinned her, how rude that was. "I - Sorry."
He shook his head as if it didn't matter to him and gestured towards the paperwork that sat on the low table they typically worked at when she worked with him. The top page made her tremble because it reminded her of her dream and she wondered for a moment if she shouldn't have taken him up on the offer to just get some rest.
Still, she moved towards it and as she lifted the page, she found her hands trembling fiercely, hard enough that she could barely read the page.
He moved towards the table and she found a tea tray waiting with two cups and a light meal of sliced fruit and toast. As he sat, she did, looking at the page for a long moment.
"I dreamed I was home. Sort of."
He looked up at her, his eyes wide, as if he was surprised that she'd spoken about it.
"It looked like home and felt like home, until the end. I was at my job - secretarial work for a business - and I was called in to my boss's office. That's when it changed. Marcas was there, and I was being commanded to introduce myself to him. To say my name."
Jareth straightened a bit, his lips pulling into a frown. After a moment, he put his hand over his mouth, glancing away from her, shadows in his eyes. "I'll check and see if he managed to breach my defenses and sneak into your dreams. If he has, I'll put an immediate stop to that, Goblinskin. I promise."
She felt something like a rubber band snapping against skin and looked at him, startled. When his eyes met hers, she nodded. It took her a moment to realize what it was she'd felt. The magic of his promise binding them. She struggled for a moment, trying to think of how much she could say without slipping back into panic.
"It was like he was really there. I could...I could feel him."
Jareth reached towards her and took the paper from her hands. He set it aside and his hands wrapped around hers a moment later. He looked at her for a long moment, keeping her hands in his own. She stared down at them for a long moment and then looked at him. For a moment, she thought she was going to pull away from him and from his expression, he expected that, too. Instead, she closed her eyes, trying to accept the comfort he was offering, wrapping her fingers over his, and biting her lower lip.
"Did you tell him your name? In the dream?"
"No, I remembered what you told me," she said and lifted her eyes to look at him. He seemed to preen a little bit at that, straightening up and looking very pleased with himself. Then, he glanced away and when he looked back, the pleasure in his expression was dampened down.
"Good."
She looked at him for a long moment, over their hands and after, she forced the question in her throat out of her mouth. "You held my mask on, so it wouldn't fall off. Why?"
He looked at their hands, his thumbs brushing over the backs of them. "Because, that mask helps you feel safe. From me, from the world, whatever. If you came out of that dream without it, you'd panic worse than you already did. If that thing helps you feel safe and secure, here, then I want you to have that."
The softness in his voice caused that strange twist in her chest, again and she squeezed her hands before finally pulling her own from them. She sat up straight, looking at him for a long moment, measuring his honesty. He looked up at her, his own expression as complicated as she felt. So rather than asking anything else, she let herself smile and nodded in acceptance. "Then thank you, again."