I realised that they had not been given their nicknames yet, so I should not have used Padfoot or Prongs in the last Chapter. I will go back and edit that soon. Oops! This chapter, where do I start. You guys, don't be mad. It had to happen this way.

The song is Falling by Harry Styles

Hermione walked down the train looking for somewhere to sit, her feet unconsciously taking her in the direction of their carriage. Shaking her head, she realised what she was doing and walked straight past it, refusing to look in and ignoring the sympathetic glances Lily was throwing her way. As she walked, she could hear the unmistakable laugh of one Kit Morrison and was shocked by the emotion she felt. It was like drinking hot chocolate in a storm, warm and comforting.

'Lily, you go ahead. I'm going to stop and say hi to Kit.'

'Are you sure that's wise Hermione? He did say some pretty harsh things to you.' Lily was concerned about her friend's ability to handle any kind of rejection right now.

'Everything he said to me I deserved.' Hermione replied wryly.

Nodding, Lily went on to find Mary and made Hermione promise to come sit with them soon.

Steeling herself, Hermione knocked on the door and entered the compartment to see the familiar faces of Kit and his friends Rob and Sam. All three looked up at her as she walked in, the laughter dying. Sam and Rob looked at her warily, not wanting her to cause Kit any more pain no doubt. This stung Hermione, but it was deserved. Her eyes flickered to Kit, and she could still appreciate his handsome features and kind eyes that were not looking at her with malice as she would have expected.

'Hey Kit, hey Sam, Rob. Do you guys mind if I come in?' the question was for all of them, but she was looking straight at Kit as she said it. He nodded once, and she sat down close to the door leaving a few seats between her and the rest of them.

'Erm, Sam,' Rob said awkwardly, 'Wanna go find the trolley?'

'Yeah I'm starved,' Sam replied with obvious relief at being given an out. He grabbed Rob's hand and led him from the area. Hermione couldn't help her smile at their tender relationship.

'They're so sweet together, I wish I could've seen the romance grow more,' she directed to Kit quietly. When he didn't reply she looked over and really took him in. There was no doubt as to why they had made such a good team at one point. Kit was constantly laughing, and took everything in his stride. His face echoed previous smiles even as he looked at her with caution. Hermione missed him, it wasn't the painful ache of Sirius, it was the feeling of being grown up and missing your childhood comforts. Like if she had him back she would be reunited with her security blanket. Was she crazy for wanting another shot with him? For actually letting herself take a chance on a goofy Hufflepuff with a big family, not held back by a notion of a love that had been painfully unrequited.

'Hermione,' he sighed, and then paused.

'I'm sorry,' they both said at the same time, and Hermione couldn't help a small chuckle of surprise.

'Why are you apologising?' She asked, genuinely confused.

'For what I said,' he replied as he pushed his hand through his tousled hair. 'I was hurt and I took it out on you. I'm really not proud of myself for any of that.'

'Kit, you were entitled to everything you said. Hell, you should have been harsher! I'm being serious,' she insisted as he shook his head in disagreement. 'I treated you so badly. I always put my friends first and I took your kind, sweet personality for granted. I am such an idiot.'

'There's nothing wrong with being loyal, Hermione. Hufflepuff remember?' Kit said as he pointed to himself.

'I wasn't being loyal Kit, I was being naïve. You helped me to see that. You were right, about everything. About me and about Sirius.' Kit stiffened slightly at his name, obviously still holding resentment. Well good, so was she. She sighed. 'I'm trying to say that this summer… well I learned everything the hard way really. I guess some of it I deserved. Some of it I didn't. But I'm not longer engaged to Theon Flint, and I no longer care about Sirius Black.' What a lie. 'And I miss you.' That bit she meant.

'What happened over the Summer,' Kit asked, genuine care in his eyes that made Hermione melt. Even after what she had done, and just admitting that she had had feeling for Sirius while she was entangled with him, he really wanted her to be okay.

'How long do you have?' She smiled. As she retold the events of the summer she missed as Sam and Rob returned to the door, shooting Kit a questioning look, which he replied to with a shooing motion with his hand. By the time she had finished the light outside the train window was completely gone.

'Hermione,' Kit breathed, having been silent for most of the story. 'Tiny, I am so sorry. Is she really…'

'Yeah,' Hermione nodded, trying not to think too hard about her elf. 'I tried calling for her and felt nothing. Connection's gone.' He stared down at her, and she looked into his eyes, the compassion and warmth. The sparkle that was unconditional. He had just let her pour her heart out after everything she had done to him. How could she ever show him what that meant to her? To have someone that even when she treated them badly, would still be there when she needed her. Not even the Marauders had done that for her recently.

Praying to the gods that she wouldn't be rejected, she lowered her eyes to his lips and saw as he licked them nervously. Taking a steadying breath, she raised her head and let her lips lightly press against his, giving him the power to deepen it or pull away. To her surprise, he deepened the kiss, and it felt different this time. Before the summer, when they had kissed it was playful, light and tentative. Now, it was pressured, like he was trying to take the weight of her world. And for this moment, she would gladly let him. His hands began to roam her body and she leaned into him, letting him bite her lip in what he meant to be a playful gesture. Eventually he pulled back and looked at her questioningly. She shrugged at him, not knowing what to say. Not wanting to lie to him anymore, but needing to have somebody to be hers. Someone that she knew she could turn to. A break, a second chance, a redemption of any kind.

Hermione shoved these thoughts to the back of her mind, feeling instantly guilty. She wasn't using Kit, was she?

'Hermione…' Kit looked at her, breathless. 'Are you sure about this? I don't know if I could handle being hurt again.'

'Kit, I am a bit of a mess as you can tell,' Hermione tried to joke. 'But maybe we could try again.'

Kit reached out and stroked her hair, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 'I want this so badly. I do, but I can't just forget the rejection you gave me last year. I need something from you Hermione, if this is going to have any chance at all.'

'And what's that?' Hermione asked curiously. Her emotions were all over the place, every time she saw a shadow walk past the window to the corridor she glanced, both hoping to see and dreading seeing Sirius.

'You can't be friends with Sirius anymore,' Kit whispered. Hermione's eyes shot to his. What? That was crazy, it was ridiculous, it was… completely fair to him. And wasn't that what she had sworn to herself? The reason why she had walked past their compartment this morning. Her heart was already broken, the doubts in her mind so all consuming and now confirmed by Sirius's words.

I'll never be with you

Would it be completely crazy to end that chapter of her life? To giver herself a chance at a happy relationship with a boy that didn't come with a manual of problems and sorrow. Sure, she would never lie on Sirius's bed and watch James tease Remus. She wouldn't look over to him in class and role her eyes as Peter messed up another spell. She wouldn't sit on their rock next to the black lake. He wouldn't stay for Christmas this year, but he had James to go home with. And maybe one day a girl to go home to, and meet her family. A family that was functional like Kit's. Maybe they both really needed this.

Sirius was right. They were both too damaged.

'Okay,' she whispered, and tried to look happy as a smile burst onto Kit's face. She let him kiss her again, if not to hide her emotions and make sure he couldn't see the pain on her face. This was it. She would give normal life a go.

'I can't wait to tell Sam,' Kit grinned. Hermione agreed, and made her excuses to leave and go see Lily. 'Mione,' he called and she looked back at him from the door. 'Meet me tonight?' She nodded and made her way down the train. Finding an empty compartment Hermione slid in and drew the blinds, needing some time to herself. With shock she realised that it was the first time she had been by herself since she left her home. Shakily, she drew a breath and tried to figure out what had just happened. Had she made a mistake? She growled in frustration and ran her hands through her hair. This was ridiculous. Sirius had made his feelings so clear, why could she just not let go. He did not want her. The looks they shared were misread, he was looking down at a Marauder, she was looking up at her soul mate. It was time for Hermione to take control of her life, to live it for herself for the first time in her life. She took the guilt she felt over lying to Kit and shoved it to the back of her mind. She could make her feelings match her words, she just had to want it enough.

Lily was concerned when she never saw Hermione appear in her compartment, but let it go and spoke to Mary about the holidays. When she filled Mary in on what had happened between Hermione, her family and Sirius Mary began to cry, and Lily hugged her.

'Everything is going to be different this year isn't it?' Mary said softly to Lily. She felt Lily nod her head.

'We're going to be there for Mione though, she won't be alone this time.' Lily's conviction comforted Mary, and they soon moved on to lighter topics.

When they reached the carriages that would take them to the castle, Lily felt a hand grab her arm. Turning, she saw Sirius. Lily's mouth dropped open slightly. She had never seen Sirius with this expression on his face. It was a look of longing, and regret.

'Have you seen Hermione?' Sirius asked, almost desperately. At the shake of Lily's head, he dropped her arm looking defeated.

'Hey Sirius!' He whipped his head around and saw Kit Morrison walking towards him.

Not in the mood at all he snapped back, 'What do you want? I'm busy.'

'Just to let you know,' Kit's expression was hard, but he looked at Sirius with pity. 'Hermione and me are going to have a go at things. She's agreed it's best that you're not in the picture. Sorry mate but you have to leave her alone.'

'What the fuck? Who do you think you are? She's my best friend she doesn't even like you.' Sirius spat back with frayed nerves.

'Sirius,' Kit put his arm on his shoulder. 'It's done mate. You've hurt her enough. It's time to let Hermione have a chance with someone that won't make her sacrifice anything.'

Sacrifice? Is that what Hermione was thinking right now, or was this all coming from Kit? He hadn't stopped once to think about what Hermione had been through since he landed in her dining room. He was too focused on what he had said to her at school. Had something happened to her? Had her family punished her for what he did? Oh shit. Sirius felt guilt and anger rise up inside him. He was so furious with himself. Hadn't he decided to win Hermione back? He was going to march up to her and kiss her in front of the whole school. Show everyone that she was finally his. But he hadn't even considered that his actions had really affected her in any way. His hatred towards himself grew more than he thought possible.

'Oh Sirius, you can say one thing.' Sirius looked at Kit with murderous eyes. 'Apologise for killing her elf.'

Sirius swung back his fist and threw all his force into punching Kit in the nose. He watched as Kit stumbled to the ground, before being helped up by his friends who led him towards a carriage. He could vaguely hear Lily and James shouting stuff at him, but didn't register any of it. Not even the pain from his broken fingers. Instead, he looked at the blood dripping from his knuckles to the floor, not seeing them. Seeing Hermione, her beautiful smile fading, her glistening eyes losing their shine as they registered him. Would this be the first time he saw her smile fade because of his presence? Any desperation he had to get to the main hall left him, and he closed his eyes.

'Sirius?' he finally heard James's voice penetrate his silence, and looked up to see everyone but him gone, and one carriage left. 'We should get going.' Sirius nodded and climbed into the carriage, looking up through the trees to see Hogwarts castle looming out of the darkness.

'James,' Sirius's voice cracked with pain. 'You promised me.'

'I know, Sirius,' James looked at his brother. 'I know. But this isn't the end. As if our Mione would ever end up with Kit Morrison.' Sirius showed a slight grin that looked more like a grimace. 'You hurt her badly Sirius. You need to fix that. If she needs some time to herself first, you have to let her have that.'

'You really think she'll forgive me?'

'It's you and Mione, Sirius. Of course she will.'

Lily walked into the great hall to see Hermione sat by herself a little ways down the table from her normal area. Remus and Peter were there, looking towards her with concern. Lily shook her head at them before going to join her.

'Mary!' Hermione said as she looked up.

Mary walked over to her and pulled her into a strong hug, 'I missed you so much. How are you doing?'

'I'm okay,' Hermione replied as she shot a look towards Lily, who shrugged guiltily at filling Mary in without asking her. 'Guess I'll be disrupting your peace a bit more this year though. No pranks, I promise.' Mary smiled back at her, but inwardly was concerned by the obviously depleted attitude of her most vibrant friend.

'I'm sure I'll live with that.'

'Where were you on the train anyway?' Lily asked, but before Hermione could reply the sorting began. It was not until the last name had been called and Hermione had put a small amount of food on her plate that she began to reply, but stopped abruptly. It was as though her magic was calling at her, humming and telling her to look to her right. She refused, knowing exactly who she would see. She couldn't stand to face him right now, despite every fibre of her wanting to go and check him over, make sure that he was okay and no longer in pain from whatever he was subjected to over the summer.

Swallowing, hard, she turned back to Lily and planted a fake smile on her face. 'I was with Kit.'

'You stayed the whole time?' Lily asked, 'didn't you guys kind of leave things on a bad note?'

'Actually, we left this time on a pretty good note. We're kind of dating now.' Lily looked at Mary in alarm, this was not a healthy way of dealing with things.

'Well that explains what happened when we got off the train at least.'

'What happened?'

'It doesn't matter. Anyway, congrats I guess.'

Hermione eyes her suspiciously but let it go. She didn't really care about gossip anyway right now, if it was important she would find out.

'Hermione,' Mary started cautiously. 'Are you sure this is what you want? I know that things with Sirius-'

'Don't mention him,' Hermione said sharply. 'What's done is done. Sirius made his feelings very clear. Am I supposed to wait around and watch him hook up with girls? Settle down with someone? I'm not an idiot and while the Avery name means very little to me, it has taught me to have some sort of self-respect.'

'But Kit?' Mary pushed. 'Hermione there was a reason you didn't want to be with him right?'

'Yes, and that reason told me to fuck off.' Hermione hissed, losing her patience. 'So DROP IT!' Those last few words were raised and caused quite a few heads to look around in surprise. Hermione just jabbed at her food in anger, and Mary and Lily decided to take her advice, for now anyway. Lily's eyes darted towards the rest of the Marauders, and could see Sirius staring at Hermione. She narrowed her eyes and turned back to her food.

By the end of the meal Hermione had cooled down.

'Sorry for snapping at you Mary,' Hermione was being sincere. 'I just have so much to figure out and I need to have some people on my side. But I get that you were just looking out for me.'

'I understand, don't worry.' Hermione was lucky to have these two girls. So much was wrong right now, but she was gaining a deeper connection to them, and she was grateful for that. She tried not to acknowledge the Marauder shaped ache in her chest.

'I have to go meet Kit, but I'll see you guys in the common room later?' At their nod, Hermione stood to leave, and as she walked down the hall she couldn't help but look for her… well not her anything, Sirius. Their eyes locked immediately, and emotions flooded into Hermione, hitting her like a pile of bricks. She could see in his eyes that he was reacting the same, but why? His steel eyes swirled with more emotion than she had ever seen, and she looked away before she did something silly, like run towards him, forgetting about the last year and everything that had been said and left unsaid. Swallowing, she pushed through the double doors and headed to the classroom where she would meet her… boyfriend.

She arrived before him, and went to go sit on top of a desk to wait. She flicked at a piece of lint on her skirt and refused to think about Sirius. She had missed James and Remus though, even Peter slightly. How could she talk to them without running into Sirius? It was obvious from the brief interaction in the Great Hall that she should not be around him. They still had to do their meditations for their animagus form, maybe she could invite Remus and Peter to come with her on the nights that James and Sirius had quidditch practise. Remus could read and give advice while her and Peter focused on their shift. Peter could definitely use the extra help. The thought cheered Hermione up slightly, those boys were her family. Maybe she didn't have to completely give them up.

At that moment, Kit walked in grimacing.

'Where have you been?' Hermione asked, 'you weren't at dinner.'

'The hospital wing. Black punched me.'

'He what?' Hermione asked, outraged. What did this mean? Kit wouldn't purposefully antagonise Sirius just for a fight, there had to be a reason. He couldn't have been jealous… Did Sirius have feelings for her? No, she wouldn't entertain these thoughts. She inwardly cursed herself for jumping so quickly to those conclusions. Get a grip Hermione.

'Kit I am so sorry, are you okay?' She put her arm around him as he sat down.

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Kit smiled as he looked at her. 'You're worth it.' Hermione felt a spark of something warm in her stomach. What a nice thing to hear someone say to her.

'You're really beautiful, you know that?' Kit asked, smiling down at her.

'I've been told once or twice,' she replied with a wink.

'Sam and Rob were happy when I told them,' Kit remarked, as he put his hand on her thigh, rubbing in circles.

'Really? I thought they hated me.' Hermione chuckled.

'Nah, they're just too loyal sometimes for their own good.'

'It's not a bad personality trait I suppose.' she teased.

'Damn straight,' Kit growled, pushing her backwards onto the desk. Suddenly, his lips were on hers and it was more passionate than she remembered on the train. His hands began to wander her body, exploring, but questioning and gentle as he began to run his palm up her thigh. She pushed herself back up, breaking the kiss and looking at him in query.

'Oh shit, I'm sorry Hermione I just thought maybe…' Kit trailed off. Hermione had realised what he meant. Boys really weren't subtle were they? She thought it over. It was a dark room, full of desks and dust covered chairs. It was late and she had class in the morning. It was nothing like how she pictured her first time. But allowing herself to imagine what she wanted for her first time always led her back to steely grey eyes and rugged black hair. Those eyes had probably looked at tens of girls with the lust that she always wanted to see for herself, and the thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

She stood up, and pulled Kit up with her. Pulling her jumper over her head, she began to unbutton his top, pulling his tie loose.

'Hermione, are you sure?' Kit asked, making a move to stop her. Instead of answering, she just kissed him, and let his trembling hands begin to unbutton her blouse. Her hands were completely steady. Her resolve was steel. Sirius had taken everything from her, the only thing she had left was her virginity. Sirius was not going to take that too. Running her hands over Kit's flawless stomach, she forced all thoughts from her mind and began to just feel. Kit took the lead, and they both laughed when she sneezed from the dust.

An hour later, Hermione headed back to the Gryffindor tower, hoping that everyone was asleep. She had no such luck. Giving the password, she stepped inside and saw the Marauders gathered by the fire. Their meeting place. She didn't acknowledge any of them, embarrassed at the state of her hair and her misbuttoned blouse. Instead she ran for the girls dorm. James turned to look at Sirius whose expression was unreadable, except the fireplace gave him away as the light caught the unshed tears in his eyes. Remus and James looked at each other uncomfortably.

Hermione was not as brave. As soon as she got to her room she pulled the curtains around her bed, ignoring Lily and Mary, and let herself cry.

I'm sorry. This is a SiriusxHermione story don't worry. But they're both so complicated that it was never going to be smooth. Poor Kit though… Please review and let me know what you think, in the next chapter or two things will start to look up I promise!